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onsunnyside · 2 years

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¹⁵.⍭ 𝐏𝐮𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | Ari Levinson x bunny hybrid!reader (to Major Crossover—Ari Levinson, Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen and Steve Rogers x bunny hybrid!reader)

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | bunny hybrid!reader, owner!Ari, Mob AU (loosely implied), dom/sub undertones, DD/LG undertones. boss!Ari, mean daddy!Ari and daddy’s mean friends!Andy, Steve & Lloyd. AGE GAP, power imbalance, size difference, breeding programs (for hybrids). SMUT - minors DNI, boot riding, daddy kink, dirty talk, degradation, dumbification, finger sucking/gagging, dacryphilia, size kink, fingering (f, v & a), spit kink, bulge suckling (over pants?), p*ssy slapping, balls sucking, oral (m), squirting, overstimulation.

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | Every pet needs an owner and in your case, your daddy loves sharing you. Written for Kinktober 2022, loosely based on this ask.

𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑

𝗪/𝗖 | 4.53K

𝗔/𝗡 | *reposted bc it was causing me problems.* consider this my crossover fic for kinktober if my other one doesn’t come in time. aside from the mafia, ari and his friends work in the breeding industry too. dear anon, i'm so sorry i basically changed your whole request !! ari owns me !! Title from Put Me in a Movie by Lana Del Rey. No gifs/photos belong to me, check the Pinterest board on my kinktober masterlist, all credits go to the original creators. All mistakes are my own. [all asks]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 & 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲: @𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

˗ˏˋ𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭ˎˊ˗ ⋰˚ 𝐂.𝐄. & 𝐂𝐨. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

There are a lot of things that Ari is thankful for. From his respected family name, his close friends, and the luck or diligence that has gotten him this far. Given the number of bullets he’s dodged growing up, it’s a wonder he ever got to the top in the end. But right now, he’s most grateful for you, his little pet, on your knees and drooling all over his knee. He loved when you were a pathetic mess.

Another whimper slips out from your lips, drawing all eyes to you once more.

“Bunny, what did I say?”

You quickly wipe the spit from your face and strain to meet his eyes, your hips stutter when he raises his foot as you grind down, torturing your soppy folds with a single motion.

“To b-be quiet…” You clutch at his pants, dropping your head in submission. “Sorry, daddy.”

Ari’s gaze softens. He reaches out and pets your head, lightly brushing the soft fur of your ears, making you purr. “It’s okay, baby. I know you’re just a dumb little bunny. You’re lucky daddy’s friends are so patient with all of your interruptions—” He slips his digits into your mouth and forcefully turns your head, “—you should apologize to them.”

Your gaze falls on the man next to him and those thick thighs straining against his wool slacks. “I-I’m so-wwy…” Your eyes drift over each of them, shivers crawling down your spine at their intimidating stares. “I—” Ari jams his fingers to the back of your throat, making you gag and saliva drip down your chin. “So-ugh-rry! I’m sorry for interruptin’!”

“I don’t know if I forgive you, pet.” Mr. Hansen tsks from the other couch, “why don’t you show me if all of that wasted time is worth it?”

His words would’ve gone ignored if Ari didn’t choke you on his fingers again, pulling you out of that dizzy headspace. You suckle on his digits and heave, tears well in your eyes as your panties get slicker. Rocking faster and harder, you chase that euphoria that makes your clit tingle. Pitiful whimpers escape your full mouth, you don’t want to stop, it feels too good.

Ari’s fingers withdraw from your mouth with a lewd pop, “C’mon, we don’t have all day.” He points up his foot, making you cry out.

You quickly raise your hips and bend over, nuzzling your owner’s crotch while the other men leer at the shiny leather and soaked fabric covering your mound. Just spotting the sticky outline of your swollen folds and your needy button begging for relief.

“We can’t see anything with your wet panties in the way, dummy.” Mr. Rogers chuckles, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Take ‘em off.”

With a final nod from Ari, you slip off your underwear. The rush of cold draws a gasp from your throat, and your hot, weepy centre is not only victim to the cool air, but the eager eyes of your owner’s friends. Cream coats your pussy and your hole clenches around nothing, your puffy clit showing just how much you’ve been teased. After all, you have been riding Ari’s boot since the ‘meeting’ started.

Your knees are sore but you don’t care, you wanted any piece of Ari he would offer. Aching for him and his warmth, you whine and feebly attempt to get closer from your position between his spread thighs. Your cheek presses against his stiff bulge and your mouth waters for his heavy weight on your tongue—but you’ve been a bad, interruptive bunny, you don’t deserve playtime with daddy.

“Poor baby, why are you crying?” Mr. Barber asks, dark eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Want—I want daddy’s cock,” your bottom lip trembles, “wanna suck his dick and taste his cum.”

A switch flips and Mr. Barber smirks, all of the worry replaced with sick glee. “Are you sure you just want his cock? I’ve heard you love having his sack on your face and sometimes you just suck on his balls.” His words only make you cry harder out of pure want. You nod helplessly, making all of the men chuckle. “Sweet bunny wants daddy’s milk so bad, you’ll just—what did you call it, Ari?”

“Nurse on my balls,” Ari answers smugly, rubbing your head. “She’ll just wait until I’m close and shove my cock down her throat. I’m surprised she has room in her tummy at all—pretty thing always wants to taste my cum.”

“What a slutty cum-bunny.” Mr. Hansen’s eyes are still locked on your drippy cunt. “She has cum for brains, I bet.”

“Curtis and Bucky are gonna be pissed when they hear about what they missed.” Mr. Rogers snorts, “they both have a thing for little cum dummies.”

“Well then, maybe next time they should keep their word.” Ari rubs that special spot behind your furry ear, making your eyes glaze over and your jaw go slack. They could almost see every thought leave your head. “Right, pet? Aren't Curtis and Bucky just so mean to forget about you?”

You nod in a daze, staring up at him with so much love and trust that he almost devours you right there. “So m-mean, daddy…”

You don’t notice that the other men have moved closer, Steve and Lloyd looming behind you while Andy inches closer. His fingers trace to your other sweet spot behind your other ear and you nearly forget to breathe. Their gentle touch could soothe you to sleep like a lullaby and also make you immensely needier from the sensitivity. You know it’s more of the latter considering the heat fluttering in your stomach.

“Sweet, submissive girls like you shouldn’t ever be pushed aside. You deserve the spotlight.” Mr. Barber coos gently, “Don’t you agree, fellas?”

“She’s meant to be a star.” Lloyd crouches down behind you, slowly slicing your nightie with his knife, the silk falling to the floor and exposing more of your glowy skin. He leans close, inhaling your sweet, heady scent. “You wanna be a star, bunny?”

Again, you nod. “Yes, pl-please.” You say politely, jumping when Steve’s hand lands on your ankle, prompting you to spread your legs wider.

“I think you need to ask your daddy, dummy.” The blond tuts.

You lean forward, arching your back just like your daddy taught you—your owner liked it and his friends did too. A broken whine flows from your lips when someone brushes your puffy tail at the same time one long finger pierces your tight cunt, sliding knuckle deep and teasingly brushing your spot.

You turn just in time to watch Lloyd spit, his saliva runs down your puckered hole to your cunt, joining your creaminess. You moan and bite your lip, wiggling your bum in a silent plea. The brunet smirks knowingly and spits twice more, this time, getting close enough for it to harshly splatter on your rosebud and sticky pussy.

“Dirty bunny, you’re such a good little set of holes.” He praises, pulling out his finger to trail up and down your slit, smearing your wetness. “Been too fuckin’ long since I’ve had a taste.”

Your head snaps up, “Can Mr. Hansen taste me, daddy?”

Ari makes a thoughtful hum, “You want him to lick your pussy?”

“And o-other things…” You exhale shakily when Lloyd’s fingers return to your hungry hole, penetrating and easily building a slow and steady pace, “I want him to, uhm, suck on my thingy…”

“On your what?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, “my bunny button.” You were his plaything, his obedient pet, but you could never get used to saying nasty things. “I want—can Mr. Hansen suck on m-my bunny button, daddy?” You give him your best pout and even tuck your hands under your chin, “can he?” Your white ears fall slack against your cheeks, framing your face.

He always said that if you were a real bunny, your ears would drag on the floor and you’d trip on them.

Ari stares down at you, his head cocked to the side and his long brown hair brushing his cheekbones. “No. You didn’t say please.”

Your ears perk up in distress, “But—” Your voice breaks into a squeal when Steve grips your tail firmly.

“Better watch your next words, bunny.”

“I-I wasn’t gonna say something bad…” You shrink under all of their hard gazes, trapped under the shady blue. “Never say anythin’ bad to daddy… I promise, just ask him. Right, daddy? I don’t say anythin’ bad?”

Ari squints playfully, “but were you thinking of saying something bad?”

“No! Always thinkin’ nothing!”

The men laugh at your cluelessness.

Steve loosens his grip and threads his fingers through the soft fur of your tail, “You’re so soft, bunny. Your daddy takes such good care of you, keeping you all clean, healthy and pretty. You know how many other bunnies would be jealous that they don’t have a good daddy like you do?”

You don’t want to think of that. Regardless if he meant it, your mind instantly went to other bunnies taking your daddy. You’d never let that happen! You despised being away from him for more than a day and couldn’t handle losing him to someone else.

You hated thinking about it, but your short time in the breeding program was the loneliest you’ve ever felt. The silent darkness would eat you up, only to spit you out when your next appointment came. Thankfully, you were never bred because Ari saved you before that, but you heard horror stories about the sessions from his friends.

Those tales are lived nightmares for some, where your kind is reduced to nothing but a hole, fucked and tossed aside until a more fertile subject came along.

Hybrid numbers have been declining for decades, and in turn, the breeding industry has been steadily growing until recent years when the business started booming. Your kind was bought and sold, traded around until landing in the breeding program put in place to fix the diminishing numbers.

That’s where you were before Ari found you, unowned and desperate for any sort of connection. That’s why you latched onto him so tightly, clung to him like he was your lifetime—because that’s what he was. You never had an owner before him, so you didn’t know what was expected of you. Ari, as patient as can be, taught you everything you know and continues to give you lessons every day.

You’ve only made it this far because of him. Of course, you wanted to save the other hybrids, but you refused to give up your daddy.

Craving that sugary-sweet intimacy, you start pawing at his crotch but fail to unbuckle his belt. “Your cock please, daddy.”

“I think Steve asked you a question.”

Frustrated and upset, you faceplant on his dick dramatically, you wanted to at least mouth at his bulge, but he didn't give you permission yet. You weren’t a naughty bunny, but you didn’t want to think, you didn’t want to speak, you just wanted to feel close to Ari and have him in your mouth. “Ugh! Don’t know! L-Lots?!”

“All of them.” Another finger slips in alongside Lloyd’s and both slowly stretch out your hole, prying you open. “All those whores in the breeding industry wish they could be you. Getting coddled, loved on, and given everything you could ever ask for…”

“Your daddy saved you from there, bunny.” Andy finishes with a pointed look, “You better be grateful or else he’s sending you back.”

Ari wouldn’t ever do that, but he doesn’t correct his friend. He wants to see those fat tears pour from your eyes.

“No, daddy! Don’t send me back!” As if on cue, you start crying again. Not only from the fear of going back to that terrible industry and losing your daddy but the four fingers stuffed into your pussy and working you open thoroughly. They hit deep and in sync, splitting you wide as more spit splatters on your core. Your stomach tightens as a mixture of their saliva and your slick dribbles onto the floor.

Daddy was gonna make you clean that up later, you just knew it.

“Where are your manners?” A palm collides with your ass and the pain sizzles up your spine to your foggy head, shoving you deep under.

You struggle to meet your owner’s gaze with most of your upper body weight on his lap, and if you could, you’d crawl into his warmth. Even now, your body has a mind of its own and thrusts against the two hands behind you, “Please, daddy, don’t send me back… I love you.”

The three other men snicker about how cute you are.

You can’t hear them very well over the rush of blood flowing through your head. You squeak when a finger circles your rosebud, and doesn’t waste any time in sliding to the hilt. Your bones turn to sludge and your face lands on Ari’s hard cock again.

His teeth dig into his bottom lip as he smiles, “And, I love you, bunny.” He pets you before securing a hand on the back of your head, shifting his hips until his dick rubs against your lips. Your mouth opens automatically and you suckle at his bulge, tongue gliding over the denim.

“Look at that, bunny still wants daddy’s milk,” Andy murmurs, wiping your tears before sucking them off his fingers, groaning lowly at the bitter taste.

“She’s gonna get a lot of milk today,” Ari growls.

With your eyes shut in bliss, you fuck yourself on Lloyd and Steve’s fingers, muffled ah, ah, ah’s pouring out into the hot air, harmonizing with the sopping wet sounds. Their fingers are so big and thick, and even though they aren’t your daddy’s, they’re good in a different way. Good enough to make your thighs quiver as they speed up.

“Little bunny is going dumb.” Lloyd mocks, increasing his pace as your juices run down his arm, “Steve, fit two more.”

You see the light for a millisecond as all touches abandon both of your holes. The air fills your lungs with a deep inhale before you’re plunged into the depths again. Lloyd has replaced Steve’s two fingers in your cunt, filling you up with four of his, immediately hooking inside you to hit that rough patch. He pumps into you, feeling awfully tempted to slip his thumb in and give you something to really cry about—none of this you didn’t say please bullshit.

A warmth brushes your face before the familiar musk seeps into your head. Your eyes shoot open and you latch onto Ari’s sack, nuzzling your nose into his pubic hair to take one of his balls in your mouth. Low purrs ripple from your throat, sending vibrations through his body.

“Fuck, that’s it.” He jerks his leaky cock, breathing heavily. “Good bunny, such a good little pet for daddy. Finally getting what you want. Thank me for all the fuckin’ cum I’ve given you.”

Andy is unable to look away from your full mouth struggling to both of Ari’s balls, you’re trying so hard but you’re so small and dumb, nearly choking yourself. Your saliva smears down your chin, following in the trails of your previous tears, making you look like the perfect slutty pet.

“Look at you, nursing on daddy’s sack.” Ari grunts, tapping your temple until your eyes flutter open. “Stupid baby loves having all of her holes filled, she’ll just cry if she doesn’t get daddy’s milk.”

You nod dumbly, blinking up at him through watery eyes, still messily suckling his sack. You sneak a few licks up his length, tracing those prominent veins with your tongue.

Ari gathers the droplets from your face and brings them to his mouth again, “Fuckin’ cumdump crybaby, keep those tears coming, you know how much we love the taste.”

You hope you’re giving them all that they want— your tight holes, your salty tears, and giving your daddy his special thank you. You don’t realize you’re close until someone tugs on your tail, prompting a rush of slick to flow down your thighs and the elastic in your tummy to tighten.

Steve’s fingers prod at your puckered hole before penetrating, he works you up to it. Starting with one that’s soaked with your arousal and his saliva before adding the next and spitting some more, then repeating until he has four fingers in your tightest hole.

Too much, you try to say but your mouth is occupied.

“I know you can take four, dumb bunny. You’ve had two cock’s up here before.” His Brooklyn accent rings in your head, along with your daddy’s deep groans.

You fall further forward, trying to escape the eight fingers spearing you open.

Ari grabs both of your ears and pulls you off his balls. A string of saliva connects your lips to his wet skin. “Why are you being bad, sweetie?”

You struggle to speak with swollen lips and a sore jaw. “N-Not, daddy!”

“Now you’re being a liar too?”

You sniffle, hiccuping a quiet sob. “It was just—too much, daddy…”

Beside Ari, Andy rubs over the tent in his slacks, hungrily eating up your sad little face. “Sounds like you really want to go back to the breeding program. Is that what you want? Because I’ll have my friends take you back there tonight, you won’t even get a final sleep in your princess bed or your pretty cage.”

“No, no, please.” You beg, pressing your face into Ari’s thigh. “Don’t wanna go back ever, daddy.”

He pets you gently, calming you down and moving your face back to his crotch. “Better make it up to those nice men behind you then, bunny.”

Now a sniffling mess, completely caught between the pleasure of their dexterous fingers and the nervousness filling your heart, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please, forgive me—” Your tail is tugged and you’re forcefully pulled back onto their rough hands. You mewl, arching your back before you latch onto Ari’s sack again.

From this angle, the two men look enormous. Their wide shoulders squared, and the light fanning around their heads like a halo. They’re all you can see, your daddy is all you can taste, and Steve and Lloyd are all you can feel.

You don’t know how long they play with you, all you know is that Steve and Lloyd have successfully covered you in their spit, stretched you open, tortured your clit and spanked your ass raw. One after the other, their palms strike your behind, turning you into a stupid, blubbering mess.

Ari has alternated between pulling your sensitive ears and squeezing them. Right now, your furry ears are held back by his hand so he could watch you slobber all over his heavy sack. “You gonna come, bunny? Show daddy’s friends how messy you can be, how much you fuckin’ love being used like a little fleshlight.”

Your gaze falls onto Andy, and more importantly, his unbuttoned shirt and massive length dwarfing your hand. Your fingers can’t meet around him entirely, but that doesn’t stop him from fucking into your fist. He controls your pace too, guiding your hand with his larger ones, making you squeeze his base and rub over the drippy tip.

“Cocksleeve, cumrag, cumdump, fleshlight—wish there was something we could call you for loving balls so much.”

“Sackslut.” Lloyd chuckles cruelly, “ballsbitch.”

“Ain’t that cute? Are you gonna thank Lloyd for giving you such pretty names, bunny?” Ari asks.

You would if you could but you were so all over the place, stretched out between four dominant men until you were a thin sheet of silk, floating in the wind and going wherever the breeze took you.

This particular breeze brought you to garbled moans and unstoppable tears.

Ari and Andy’s dark eyes lock on your face contorted in helplessness, their jaws clenched tight under their thick beards.

Just barely, you recall when they passed you around like a doll, making you ride their faces one after the other, rubbing your poor folds raw with their facial hair. You couldn’t walk for days after that, Ari had to carry you around like a real pet and bring you to all his meetings. Oh, and you had to look at all of his business partners that day, knowing well enough that five of them—counting Mr. Everett and Mr. Barnes—would be staying back because of Mr. Levinson’s famous hospitality.

They were as big and bad as your daddy, and just like him, they could be mean and cold-hearted but also sweet-talkers who gave the best kisses and cuddles, always bringing you gifts and turning your world into an array of colours and tingles.

Ari was everything you could have wished for, and his friends only multiplied that.

You’ve never had an owner or a daddy, and now it feels like you have six.

All it takes is Ari roughly tugging your ears when Steve pulls your tail for the wave to crash over. You cry out obscenely as blinding white erupts in your mind. Ari and Andy hiss when your nails pierce their thighs, locking them close as tremors rock through you.

Your juices spurt out, coating Lloyd’s hand and adding to the pathetic mess below. Your cunt convulses, forcing his fingers out as Steve becomes relentless, hungry for those little twitches and gasps you do whenever it gets too much. Right now, he wants it to be too much.

“Keep sucking on daddy’s balls, bunny.”

Pre cum smears on your face as you nuzzle deeper, suckling on his sack greedily through irregular breaths and sobs. Your knees are numb from the position and when Steve finally yields, you collapse forward.

“M-Milk, daddy.”

“Not yet, baby.” Ari hisses, his arm veins tense as he fists his base, fighting off his high but you’re greedy. You sloppily kiss up the underside of his length, just reaching the bulbous tip before he shoves you away. “I said not yet. You’re lucky if you even get a drop after that.”

“But I want you, daddy.” You weep, gnawing at his pant-clad thigh, your spit soaks the fabric. “Please, want you so bad—need you.”

Despite your pleas, he halfheartedly tucks himself away. Your bottom lip trembles when his throbbing flesh is back in his pants, the bulge still proudly prominent but you can’t see him, taste him. Andy follows suit and soon, you’re the only one still exposed. Sweaty, aching and ruined, knelt between the four of them like vulnerable prey.

Ari pets your spot. “I know you do, but remember what we were talking about before?”

Disoriented, you shake your head. Your orgasm still prickles at your skin, low vibrations flowing through your system as it dies down. You're about to ask him to clarify when a harsh spank lands on your clit. The burn is soothed by two, rough fingers. They circle your nub harshly, making you weakly squirt again.

“Poor bunny button—so swollen, huh? I bet it hurts if I just—” Steve is cut off by your whimper as he pinches your clit. Meanly rolling the nub between his fingers, bullying your most sensitive spot.

“Steve, she can’t think if you’re doing that.” Ari chastises.

“She doesn’t think anyway.” Lloyd rubs up your back, feeling the heat of your flesh. “She’s just a dumb and ditzy baby.”

Steve begrudgingly obeys. He just loved your bunny button—playing with it, sucking it, he loved watching it get swollen and responsive. He has yet to convince Ari to try out other methods of stimulating your tasty nub, but he refuses to give up.

After giving you a final pinch, he pulls away and licks his fingers, unable to resist your taste. “Remember last time, pet? Just you, your daddy and me.”

“She wanted you instead of me.” Ari scowls bitterly, “you like him more than me?”

“No, daddy! I just—” It was Ari’s beard. He had ruined you the previous night, eating you for dessert in the car back home and for breakfast the next morning. You couldn’t handle that coarse treatment thrice in a row.

Steve pinches your button again. “She thought she took the easy way out.”

Out of all of your daddy’s friends, Steve was always clean-shaven, so he was less brutal on your cunt, but he loved to torture you. Overstimulation was his favourite thing and he’d draw orgasm after orgasm out of you, making you fall into a heap of sweat, spit, and cum. And while you’re half-conscious, he’d torment your clit until you fully woke up again.

Lloyd crawls next to you, cupping your face with the same hand that was knuckle-deep inside you. “Ask your daddy to make you a star.”

Another slap on your cunt has you falling forward and tears springing from your eyes. Your cheek lands on Ari’s thigh and his muscles flex under his slacks. You’re so close to his cock, a few inches more and you could suck him through his pants.

“God, what are these fuckin’ ears for.” Lloyd huffs, “did you hear me? I said to ask daddy to make you a star.”

You gulp nervously, “Can I, uh, please be a star, daddy?”

“How could I deny you when you ask so nicely…” He trails off, his voice leading the way for the rest of your senses to slowly flood back in.

They come in pieces, from the sunlight pouring in through the sheer blinds, to the feel of the velvet couch before you, and to the smell of sweat and sex in the air.

“To make you a star, we’ll have to make a movie, bunny.” Ari tilts your head up with his knuckle, “You wanna make a movie with daddy and his friends?”

Making a movie? Like the ones you’ve seen on television with the explosions, convoluted storylines and ambiguous endings? You couldn’t imagine yourself in one of those.

“What kind of movie?”

“Oh, just a special one. It’ll show how close we all are, and how much we love you.” Ari explains loosely in a low tone, “how much you love us… how much you love what we do to you.”

Without much thought, you agree. “Okay, daddy, we can make a movie.”

All of their faces break out in matching grins, brighter than the sun and stars combined but with endless sin lingering behind.

Ari raises his hand and the tall, glass french doors open, and two men enter. One is younger with frosted tips and circular glasses. The other has long hair that brushes his swaying shoulders and a sick twinkle in his eyes.

You wonder how long they've been waiting, or if they saw what just happened, but your short attention span brings you to the strange things they’re carrying in.

It’s a bunch of equipment you’ve never seen before, from cameras to lights and a discrete black box.

“That’s Jensen and Mr. Pronge. Daddy picked them just for you, they’re the best in the business and they’re gonna help us make you a star.” Ari pets your special spot again, making your head fall slack on his thigh, inches from his clothed throbbing length. “Because my bunny is so perfect that the whole fuckin’ world deserves to know it.”

𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: my kinktober should’ve just been called Aritober bc he’s taking over my life. I also wrote another character coming to ‘help make the movie,’ a certain Dr. D but took it out, I wouldn’t mind posting the little drabble though 👹

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞! check my kinktober masterlist for the doctor ransom drabble !!

As always, I hope you all enjoyed this and I’d love to hear your thoughts/feedback !! <3 — ☼ 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐊𝐨-𝐟𝐢 ☼

I don’t do taglists anymore. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 & 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲: @𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

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maxwell-grant · 1 year

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PIZZA TOWER Characters ranked by how good they actually are at making pizza:

Gustavo: 5/10, 6/10 if he really puts his back into it. 9/10 if he’s making chocolate pizza which he doesn’t anymore, since it’s bad for Brick

In theory he SHOULD be the best pizzamaker of the bunch, unlike Peppino he clearly isn’t undergoing ten mental breakdowns per minute and he’s got an actual apron, plus he’s the only one we see delivering pizzas to satisfied customers in-game in the Gnome Forest. But since nothing in the game currently seems to indicate he has a pizza business, I’m going with a headcanon that Gustavo actually specializes in pastries and sweets, which is why he can seemingly keep himself in the Freezer level where all pizzas freeze solid. He does enjoy eating pizza, but Brick eats all the cheese in the house before he can even think about making one for himself.

Mr Stick: 2/10

Mr Stick has been subsisting on cheap takeout for decades now and cannot be trusted near an oven, or near a grill, or near a kitchen period, Peppino just lets him into his to keep him away from the cash register. If you ask him to make a pizza, he will charge a stupidly high amount just for heating up frozen calabrese. Still ranked higher than other characters only because he probably still makes pizza that’s marginally edible, as he definitely won’t want to risk a lawsuit by making you sick.

Pepperman: 8/10 if you really like peppers, 1/10 if you have a pepper allergy or just don’t like them

Pepperman point-blank refuses to be anything other than completely and totally excellent at everything he sets out to do, others not agreeing with his vision of what excellence is (mainly himself) is quite frankly not his problem, and he ESPECIALLY refuses to let himself be outdone by that wretched brute of a chef. Pepperman taught himself pizza-making out of spite purely so he could outdo Peppino, and he’s actually kinda great at it? Spite IS the perennial driving force of most of Pizza Tower’s characters after all. But obviously he doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to learn, about making any kind of pizza that isn’t stuffed full of peppers. If he’s feeling charitable, he might bake you a pizza with his face on it, and then throw a tantrum if you defile it by eating it (only HE can eat his own face).

Vigilante: 1/10.

Vigi’s family business seems to specialize in dairy and I think for the most part he sees pizza as cheap grub for city slickers (getting beat up by Peppino was kind of a wound to his pride), the whole idea just kinda abominable. He’s also a sentient pile of cheese who wears dirty gloves all day, if he did try to make a pizza, it would probably taste like dust or gunpowder or even have bits of him in it. That being said, he throws a MEAN barbecue, if you can talk him into changing his gloves you should get him near a grill immediately.

The Noise: -100/10

Noise is not legally allowed to be in most pizza establishments by court order, and the Domino’s lawsuits were a massive pain to settle as is. The Noise just does not cook, period, but luckily for him he can eat basically anything. He’s paid to advertise food products and NTV has personalized energy drinks, but his main diet consists entirely of tequila and cigarettes 24/7, and dozens of doctors have diagnosed his insides as some kind of freakish medical emergency that should take effect but never will. He’s like Mr Burns, it just all cancels each other out.

Noisette: lmao good luck

Going by her comics in the wiki, Noisette is just completely incapable of making anything that isn’t sweets even when she tries, and the fact that she hangs around The Noise makes it so that she has no sensible parameter whatsoever for what’s edible or what’s gonna give someone explosive diarrhea. She does run a coffee shop with at least some customers in the cast, she’s probably fairly good at baking, but if you ask her to make a pizza, the best you can possibly hope for is that she just makes you unusually large crepes, and hope you don’t hear an ambulance in the distance before eating.

Fake Peppino: ?????

He’s about as good as Peppino, ironically enough, but it’s a 50/50 on whether you enjoy eating his pizza or his pizza enjoys eating you, but hanging around Peppino and the others at minimum has made the third outcome, that is him eating both you and the pizza, statistically less likely.

Pizzahead: 7/10 at first, score gets lower everytime you eat it again

He SELLS decent pizza, is the thing, but obviously he never has to make any of it himself, not when he has all these countless food businesses and mascots and cooks bending to his whim after he enslaved John and took over the tower. “Being good” at making pizza is a laughable concern to him, when he frankly never even has to try, when he can just sleep during your escape sequences while everyone else has to do the hard work. The entirety of the background in Don’t Make a Sound is a testament to his catastrophic carelessness, you literally find boxes saying the monsters were mail ordered by him, and how little consequences matter to him (I don’t buy the idea that he’s driven by any kind of jealously towards Peppino, so much as he just targeted Peppino mainly because he could).

Pizzahead’s pizza is the kind of pizza that you get hooked in at first, and then makes you feel kinda empty or sick afterwards after a point and makes you think you probably should have eaten something else, but you’re still coming back another day or week when you have no energy or money or time to cook or buy a decent meal, so pizza it is again, and it keeps tasting marginally greasier and shittier and more depressing everytime until at some point you can’t smell the damn thing without wanting to vomit, and you swear off pizza entirely until you wind up back there again and, hey, it’s tolerable this time, and then the process begins again, go ahead, eat Pizzahead's product, wageslave, maybe you’ll start liking it again soon enough, he makes all the dollars and you make a dime and that's why you vomit on company time.

Gerome and John: 10/10

Gerome is probably the only character in-game who keeps a clean kitchen considering his job, and John is some kind of weird god with teleporting powers and sub-dimensions tied to him, and also the secret ingredients Gerome has the keys to wind up resurrecting John, but mostly I think it’d be funny if the characters who would be the absolute best at making pizza would also be the ones who would most reasonably never want to have anything to do with pizza ever again. I like to imagine The Tower Brothers having these miracle recipes and magic touch that both Peppino and Pizzahead desperately want, able to make the most unfathomably delicious Anton-Ego-flashback-inducing pizzas ever conceived, pizza that tastes the way you thought it tasted as a kid but actually much better, and nobody will ever realize it and they will never even touch a pizza again after it ruined their lives and home.

Peppino:

5/10. 6/10, if he really puts his back into it.

Yeah, it’s okay, Peppino’s probably an okay chef. Peppino as a chef is kinda like Mario and plumbing: you know it’s what he’s supposed to do, he sells an identity tied up to it, but you never actually see him do it, you see him doing literally everything except his job and you just kinda have to assume that he's good enough at it. Peppino’s pizzas are probably the most normal thing about him, and maybe the only normal thing about him, really.

He does manage to convince the Bosses to not kick his ass in exchange for free pizza, which means said pizza has gotta be at least somewhat tasty, but also, his place is a dump in the middle of nowhere, he can’t afford proper kitchen wear, he scavenges ingredients in the wild without hygiene concerns and getting his greasy hands all over them, he doesn’t have any staff and runs himself ragged doing everything solo, everything he touches tends to be destroyed in some fashion, he has zero patience, and by now he’s gotta have some kind of pizza-related trauma or several hundred after everything that the game put him through.

I kinda like to think Peppino, in spite of everything stacked against him and how fiercely he fought to defend his business, is ultimately a mediocre but decent chef, who happens to be an unstoppably gifted wrecking ball of a fighter (and talented dancer), who really just wants to keep being a chef in peace, and peace is the last thing he ever gets.

#pizza tower #peppino #peppino spaghetti #the noise #pepperman #gustavo and brick #gustavo #noisette #mr stick #the vigilante #headcanon

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