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ohtobeleah · 5 months

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Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Six:: [Conflict & Chaos]

Summary: As panic consumes Jake after finding out about your current medical condition, Jake calls your mother to fill in the gaps. Nurse Lydia escapes being taken to her supervisor and Jake lets loose on his mother who tries to stop him from leaving.

Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Overbearing mothers.

Word Count: 4.4K

Author Note: Okay Sick!wifey maybe there is another guy. Or not, who knows. My guess is a platonic friendship that will ultimately end in heartbreak.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

November 2nd

“You look like you've just been told you’re dying?” It was a voice you didn't recognise that pulled you out of the bottomless pit of worry you'd fallen into as you sat on the edge of the raised garden bed just outside your doctor's office. “It's okay, you were probably just told that so it's alright to look like your whole world’s just been flipped on its head.” The man shrugged as he came to sit beside you with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Sorry, sorry–” You shook your head as you wiped your tears and dried your face, probably as patchy and puffy as ever. “Are you a doctor here?”

“Me?” the man smiled as he pointed to his chest with a scoff. “Oh no, no I'm uh–I’m a patient I guess.” The man corrected you as he watched you try to fix yourself up. Before you knew it there was a tissue being held out of you to take.

“Thanks.” You smiled softly with gratitude and accepted the tissue the man wouldn't be wanted back anytime soon.

“No problem.” He nodded. “I saw you come out of Doctor Parsons' office, she's got a pretty rough gig don't you reckon?”

“I'll say.” You agreed, Doctor Parsons probably wanted to go into her profession to help people, but nowadays all it seemed like was she was dishing out hard to swallow diagnoses. “You’re a patent of hers too?”

“Unfortunately, Pancreatic– what about you?” The man asked as you tried to wrap your head around the idea of exchanging diagnosis with another human being.

“I uh–I was just told I have breast cancer.” This complete stranger was the first person you told, before you mum, before your ex husband, before your kids or extended family. This stranger who was sitting next to you outside your local doctors office was the first person beside your doctor to know you had cancer, that your cells were dying–that you were, in fact, dying.

“Oh yeah? What's the going rate for that one?” This all seemed too normal, too calm to be talking about. It wasn't the reaction you'd ever expected although you weren't really thinking about how people would react. “Sorry, I'm being too nosy.” The man beside you reached out and extended his hand towards you. “I’m Jensen, I don't mean to pry, it's just I don't see an awful lot of young people come into this particular doctors office and when I saw you rush out like your world had just been rocked I couldn't help but to follow you out here.” Jensen smiled as you shook his hand. “I'm also incredibly self aware of how creepy that sounds, so again, I'm sorry.”

“No no–” You chuckled as you let go of Jensen's hand. “It's okay, it's just uh, fresh I guess, like ten minutes ago fresh.” You tried to explain the best you could. “Y/n, my names Y/n–”

“Damn Y/n that's hot off the press–” Jesne pressed his lips together in a fine line, he understood what it was like to feel the crushing weight of the world on your chest. He was only in for a chat with doctor Parsons the day he met you. “Listen, in the hopes of not being too forward, can I give you my number?” He asked with a caution laced between his words, ready for rejection. “Not in a, I'd like to take you out sometime, although I wouldn't be opposed.” You had to stop yourself from looking as shocked as you were. Were you really being picked up out the front of a doctor's surgery? “But in more of an I understand what you’re going through kinda way and if you ever need an ear to vent to about the not so glamorous journey you're about to go on, I'd very much like to be that person for you, I always wished I had someone when I first started my battle.”

“Uh, yeah–” You couldn't help but to smile through the dried tears on your face. “Sure, yeah that sounds really nice actually.” WHen you unlocked your phone the realisation that Jake, your ex husband, had been the last person you called dawned on you. He didn't know, he could never know. He wouldn't care enough to want to know. And yet here this stranger was, willing and ready to listen. “And for the record maybe when the dust settles I wouldn't be opposed to the idea either.”

***~***~***~***~***~

“I vow to be your faithful partner in sickness, and in health.” Jake could hear your vow’s ringing out inside his mind as he raced around his childhood bedroom getting his stuff packed to leave. Your voice sounded as if you were standing right before him, plaguing his mind with haunting memories of promises he’d failed to keep.

“I promise to love you unconditionally, to honor and respect you, and bring you solace in times of need.” Your voice was like a hauntingly beautiful memory reminding him of the vows you’d promised each other on your wedding day, right after his father had told him that happiness was essentially a hallmark card scam. Jake could hardly focus as he tried to compose himself enough to just think about what was going on for a second—but then his own voice echoed around in his mind, the voice of his former self who hadn’t yet ruined his marriage spoke up through the darkness of his fuzzy and fragile mind.

“I take you for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in chaos and conflict, through heaven and hell.” Jake felt an anger so deep and overwhelming that he stood from his twin bed and walked a few quick paces across his room to where his closest door was. The animalistic growl that left his body when Jake slammed his fist into the wooden door woke his mother who was sleeping soundly a room or two down the hall. She hadn’t been woken so abruptly like that in years. Not since her children were young adolescence.

With his busted hand and a pain in his chest he could only describe as emotional turmoil, Jake stumbled back over to his bed and picked up his discarded phone. He mulled over the decision for a few seconds before he went through his contacts to find probably the only woman who could give him more of the story.

Your mother, Mary O’Riley. Or as Jake affectionately called her for the better half of your relationship, Maz.

Jake's thumb lingered over her contact for a few seconds before he decided that yes, yes he needed more information. He needed someone to tell him this was all just some sick fucked up prank. He needed someone to tell him that you were in fact, alright, and that you weren’t lying in a hospital bed right now, without him there to hold your hand and tell you everything would be okay.

He’d promised you in sickness and in health.

Jake listened with anticipation and dread as the phone rang against his ear. It rang and rang and rang until finally at the very last second she could—your mother picked up the phone while she sat at your bedside.

“Jacob—“ He heard her coo into the speaker. “You—“

“Tell me she’s not sick Maz.” Was all Jake said. It was stern and filled with heartbreak. “Please, tell me right now that she’s not in the hospital right now.” Your mother could tell Jake was holding back tears through gritted teeth as she turned her head over to the nurses station to see Lydia almost hyperventilating over her mistake. “Maz! FUCKING TELL ME MY WIFE DOESNT HAVE BREAST CANCER!”

The sudden outburst made your mum jump nearly out of her seat as she pulled her phone slightly away from her ear, but it didn’t surprise her. Jake loved you so much, it was only natural he’d be in a state of shock finding out the way he had.

“Jake, sweetheart, I need you to sit down for me.” Mary cooed softly with a sincere expression of empathy. “Please, just sit down and I’ll explain what’s going on.”

***~***~***~***~***~

Lydia had never felt more stressed in her very short lived career. Once she had hung up the phone with who she now knew was probably your ex husband, Lydia's immediate plan was to come clean to your mum as she sat by your bedside. Luckily, your condition post op was pretty good all things considered and instead of taking up another room in the ICU, your surgeon said that it would be best for your recovery to be placed back in the room you would see out the next few weeks of chemotherapy in. There was no escaping the oncology ward, not even a stroke could save you as it seamned.

“Miss O’Riley?” Lydia’s voice shook as she walked into your hospital room to see you sleeping in a drugged out haze of pain relief post op. You weren't expected to be awake for another few hours or so to allow your brain time to rest. “I need to speak with you for a moment, if you have a second.” All of this was going on around you without your knowledge. And quite frankly you wouldn't have wanted to know anyway– I mean, who really wants to be told that their nurse accidentally rang your husband and violated your privacy accidently? Certainly not you.

“Is something wrong with my daughter?” Your mother asked as she held your hand, watching at the monitor told her you were stable, that your heart was beating and that you, despite the odds, would survive another day.

“No, no, your daughter seemed to be responding well post surgery–” Lydia's voice still shook with nervousness for the reaction her actions would invoke. “It's just that I’ve uh–” Lydia was only young, she had so much left to give to the healthcare industry, one mistake couldn’t end her career before it had even started could it? “I accidentally called your daughter's husband, I automatically assumed he would be her emergency contact because he was listed as her husband and–” Lydia tried to get her explanation out as quickly as she possibly could before your mother had a chance to speak. “I'm so sorry, I told him about her current medical condition.”

“Oh god.” Your mother groaned as she looked back to where you laid peacefully unaware that Jake now knew about your whereabouts and health status. “She didn't want him to know, at least not yet anyway.” Your mother explained as she sighed and ran her hands over her face.

“I'm so sorry, I just assumed and before I knew he was asking what the hell I was even talking about and then I looked further down the page and saw that you were listed as her emergency contact.” Lydia was currently seeing her entire career flash before her eyes. All your mother had to do was request to speak to her supervisor, request that she report she violated HIPAA, but she didn't. Your mother simply nodded and accepted the fact a young girl who was only just starting out had made a mistake wasn't life threatening.

“It's alright, just uh, he’s going to come, if I know that man he's going to be on the first flight here so as my daughters medically proxy, can you please adjust her visiting list and add Jake Seresin to the list.” Your mother knew Jake would be calling any minute now and that he knew there was no vacation away. Now that he knew what was going on. Mary fished her phone out of her handbag and sat it on your bedside table in anticipation. She was almost going to set a timer just to see how long it would take her son in law to call.

“You–you aren't going to report me?” Lydia was at this point, in tears. She was so overwhelmed that she could barely see. Your mother felt sympathy for the young woman and really didn't want to be a part of whatever reprimanding could come of a simple mistake. So, she simply shook her head, looked back at her phone for a fleeting moment before she turned to look at you and finally back to Lydia who couldn't have been more thankful for the words that came out of your mothers mother.

“No dear, no I'm not going to report you, mistakes happen–” Your mother pressed her lips together in a fine line as she reached up to touch your cheek with the pad of her thumb. “My daughter knows that all too well.”

***~***~***~***~***~

“Please, just sit down and I’ll explain what’s going on.” Jake listened to what Maz had said and he did what he was told. He had always respected your mum and her natural born wisdom that Jake clung to through the time he had known her. “Are you sitting down?”

“Yeah, yeah i'm sittin.’”

“Jake–” Maz sighed heavily into the phone. “Back in november when Y/n called you about taking the kids for christmas she was sitting in her doctors office.” Jake didn't speak, he listened carefully to every word your mother spoke. His head was spinning as his heart raced. Tears streamed down his cheeks as the realisation set in. “She’d just been told she has a very aggressive form of breast cancer– stage three A, triple positive grade three invasive doctoral carcinoma.”

“Wh-why didn't she just tell me?” Jake knew that the two of you had never been more divided in your marriage, but he always thought that if you were sick to this level, that you'd call and he’d come running. Come hell or high water Jake was going back to Rhode Island to be with you.

“That's a question you’ll just have to ask her.” Your mother replied. “But she's not alone, I'm with her right now, she uh–had a stroke only about an hour after she’d been admitted to oncology, good thing we were already in the hospital when it happened or else it could have been a hell of a lot worse.”

“Maz–” Jake croaked out. “I don't know what I'm supposed to do.” He cried softly into the phone, it broke your mothers heart. “Tell me what I'm supposed to do.” He wasn't asking if he should get a ticket on the next flight out, no. No Maz knew exactly what Jake was asking her and again, it wasn't a question she held the answers to.

“You just have to show up for her.” Was all your mother was able to say. “I dont have the answers this time Sweetheart, I’m not sure how to fix what's broken between the two of you, but I wanna know how soon you can get here–” Your mother paused as she tried to hold back her own tears. “She's not in a good way, she needs her husband Jake, she needs you here.”

Jake remembered that phone call, the one where you initially asked him to take the kids for christmas. He should have asked more questions, should have pressed you a little harder for information. Maybe, just maybe if he did back then, you would have crumbled and told him the truth.

“I'll be there as soon as I can Maz, consider me on the next available flight.”

***~***~***~***~***~

in sickness and in health, in chaos and conflict. It was the only thing Jake could tell himself over and over again as he walked down the large staircase of his parents place. in sickness and in health, in chaos and conflict. Jake had one thing and only one thing on his mind, getting back to you.

“Jacob?” Jake froze as he got to the bottom of the staircase, his mother stood at the top, dressing gown pulled snug against her as she folded her arms across her chest and frowned down at her grown adult son. “What’s going on? It’s almost four in the morning?”

“I just got off the phone with Maz—“ Jake explained as he watched his mum walk down the stairs, her eyes tired from a restless sleep. Having a home full of children and grandchildren didn’t help. “Y/n’s really sick, she’s uh—“ Jake wasn’t sure he wanted his mother to know about your diagnosis before he’d truly had a chance to process it himself. So, he didn’t divulge. “In the hospital, I just need to get back.”

“Get back?” Janeen frowned in displeasure at her son's decision to leave. “What do you mean get back, you only just got here.”

“My wife’s in the hospital Ma, I need to go and make sure she’s alright.” Jake didn’t think he’d have to spell it out, but he did. “I promised her in sickness and in health, unfortunately she’s taken a turn for the worse and she’s at the very least right now the mother of my children, so I need to go and be with her and figure out what’s going on.”

“Y/n is a grown woman who can take care of herself.” Janeen reached up to touch Jake's cheek, however, before she could run the pad of her thumb across Jake's scruffed cheek, he pulled away in anger. “She decided that when she left you? Or don’t you remember what that woman put you through?”

“Ma.” Jake clenched his jaw under the dim light of the main foyer. “I love you, I do, but you need to stop disrespecting her.”

“Disrespecting her?” Jake's mother scoffed as she watched him pick up his duffel bag and head towards the front door. “What about the disrespect she showed this family? The disrespect she showed you when she was unfaithful to her wedding vows and left you! She took your kids away from your Jacob and what? You’re running back to her the second she gets a runny nose?” Jake was holding his tongue between his teeth as his mother followed him out to the cars, he’d already called a taxi. “Honestly I never in a million years thought you’d settle for someone so—“

“MUM!” Jake snapped abruptly, he wasn’t proud of raising his voice with the woman who raised him, gave him life, but my god did she need to back off. “SHUT, THE HELL, UP!” Jake hissed as he saw headlights coming up the drive. “I’m leaving my children here until I figure out what’s going on but so help me god if I get back and your attitude hasn’t done a full three sixty about my wife, the love of my life, you will never see her, or our kids, or me, again!��

Janeen remained silent as she watched the taxi Jake had called pull up to where they were standing. She watched with teary eyes as he threw his bag into the back seat and greeted the driver kindly. He was an older gentleman. Probably mid sixties.

“I will call you when I know more but you have to stop degrading her, I’m the one who drove her away.” Jake had wanted to say this since the first comment his mother ever made about you way back in January just after he’d told her the two of you were separating. Jake took his mother in his arms, he towered over the smaller built woman with graying hair. He let his chin rest on the top of her head and didn’t hold back.

“Just because you never had the courage to leave dad when he stopped loving you the way he should doesn’t mean you get to project your pity on my wife for doing what you always wished you should have.” Jake had never felt such a weight lifted off his chest and immediately knew that the chances of him being invited back for next years Seresin family Christmas was probably a long shot. “You should ask Jasmine about her new nanny.” Jake finished as he pulled away. “I heard she's a really good people pleasure.”

***~***~***~***~***~

“Ordinary streets, Extraordinary stories.” Jake read over your shoulder as you jotted down some ideas for your latest project. “Huh, I like that, it's sorta catchy.” He smiled softly against your cheek before leaving a gentle kiss in his wake. His eyes lingered down to your book proposal for your publisher and continued reading as you sat at your desk, glued to your laptop like a woman on an impossible mission against time. “This collection of stories centers on the idea of ‘accidental death’ and the upheaval caused in the lives of those who lost a loved one in this way.” Jake read outloud over your shoulder in the dimly lit office. “I'm starting to think I should sleep with the lights on at night.”

“One eye open will do.” You mumbled back as you re-read your last sentence and continued on typing like your husband wasn't trying to coax you away from your work. “I have a deadline to meet, so shoo fly, don't bother me.” You teased as Jake moved your hair to one side and began to kiss the juncture of your neck and shoulder. Seduction was usually his strong suit.

It was no shock to Jake that almost immediately out of college you started writing non-stop about the things you were most passionate about. He thought you'd stick it out and become some wildly successful fiction novelist. Perhaps lean into your fascination with dystopian hierarchy, but no. You really came out of the left field when you picked up a publishing gig to write and publish not one, but three true crime biographies. The little bookshop on firth you worked at were so overjoyed for you when you’d told them the big news.

“You are working yourself to the bone, Honey.” Jake replied softly as his hands trailed down your stomach to feel the small but swelling baby bump that was growing bigger by the day.

“Says the guy still in his flight suit–” You fired right back without taking your eyes off the screen of your laptop. Your fingers worked fast to type the thoughts in your mind onto the screen before they were forgotten. If you let your mind wander too far away you'd lose your momentum. “Jake, I need to finish this chapter before bed.”

“No, no, what you need Hon, is to close your laptop and follow me to where I've run you a bath for your surely aching muscles, swollen feet and to ward off that impending cold I know you're coming down with.” Jake caught the way your fingers froze across the keys of your laptop at his thoughtful words, you hadn’t even mentioned feeling under the weather yet. “I heard you sniffling while cooking dinner–thought I better be proactive and try help you sweat it out.”

You felt the heat in your cheeks rising as a smile crept across your face. You looked down at the ring on your left ring finger and tried not to cry. You could have blamed it on the raging pregnancy hormones from the twin Seresin babies currently using your body as a host, but you knew it was just the overwhelming love you felt.

“You ran me a bath?” It was something you didn't know you needed until Jake had mentioned it.

“Not to toot my own horn or nothin but I lit your favorite candles too, even went as far as to put a few rose petals in the bubbles.” Jake watched as you spun around in your chair to face him with big teary eyes and an even bigger baby bump. “Gotta look after my girl, can't have the mother of my children feeling sick, now can I?”

“I'm intrigued to see what kind of special treatment I'll receive if I'm ever really unwell if this is what I'm getting for a runny nose.” You teased as Jake helped you up off your work chair. His hand went straight to the small of your back to guide you out of the study down the hall towards the bathroom where he had everything set and sorted for you.

“Hopefully we never get to the point where you're chronically ill.” Jake kissed your temple as he walked with you. “Never wanna see you sicker than a cold.” He explained as your eyes went wide with wonder and ore at the sight of your bathroom fully lit with candles. “But trust that I'll be right by your side, holding your hand through whatever may come.”

“You really didn't have to do all this for me.” You sighed as Jake started to help you undress. You watched him with love filled eyes through the mirror as his hands roamed your body, stripping articles of clothing from your pregnant silhouette.

“Nonsense, I'll always do things like this for you.” Jake shrugged it off like his actions were no big deal. To him at that moment they really weren't, he was just trying to help wherever he could. “But you should probably wake up now–”

“What do you mean?” A slow steady beeping broke through your mind as your body began to feel numb. “Jake—“ You frowned as the bathroom faded around you. “Jake?” You called out as you felt yourself feeling heavy and lethargic. “Jake—?”

“Sweetheart can you hear me?” Your mother asked as your surgeon tried to assess your ability to open your eyes. The small light that was shining in your eyes did little to cure your confusion.

“Jake?” You asked again as your eyes fluttered open, you groaned softly in annoyance to the light of the hospital room you woke up in. “Where’s Jake?” Everything was so blurry, so confusing, the last thing you remembered was getting ready for a bath, now you where here in a hospital room.

“He’s not here Sweetheart, do you remember what happened?” When you didn’t answer your doctor interjected to jog your memory.

“You had a minor stroke Mrs Seresin, lucky for you you were already on sight when it happened—do you remember why you’re here?” As you looked around at the Christmas lights that now decorated your hospital room and the small Christmas tree in the corner on the coffee table near the old recliner, you remembered.

“Oh.” That’s right you thought to yourself, you were separated. Jake didn’t care, not anymore. He’d stopped running baths for you years ago. “Oh, yeah—I remember.” You whispered before a single tear ran down your face.

“I remember everything.”

***~***~***~***~***

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exitrowiron · 7 months

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The Death of My Mother

After a years-long courageous battle with breast cancer, my mother died on October 11, 2023 with my sister Lori and I holding her hands and my wife Beth by her side. She was 83 years old.

Over 20 years ago a cancerous lump was discovered and removed, followed by radiation. All seemed well for over a decade as she and my dad enjoyed a very active retirement. A few years ago, the cancer was detected again and the mastectomy came too late to contain it.

She endured years of chemotherapy, proceeding to a new drug therapy as soon as old one ended. Despite the unexpected death of my father nearly two years ago, she doggedly continued her treatment. Because she’d been athletic all her life, she tolerated more chemotherapy than her oncologist could remember giving anyone else. It wasn’t enough.

She was determined not to let her life be dominated by her cancer; she continued to travel, paint, sew and entertain friends. She was assisted by my sister and uncle, both of whom lived in the same town as her; making sure she was safe and accompanying her to doctor visits, chemo treatments, etc.

Despite the rigors of chemotherapy, you’d not have suspected her condition if you saw her in the grocery store. She lost weight, but with her wig and bubbly personality, she looked well, better in fact than most of her peers. She often went to the gym immediately after receiving an infusion, knowing she’d be too weak to do so in a day or two. Ultimately the breast cancer continued to spread, causing fluid to gather around a lung and ultimately metastasizing into a painful, inflamed cancer on her skin.

In August she was struggling with the latest chemotherapy, having to suspend/postpone rounds until her anemia and overall strength could improve. The regimen was simply too taxing, and she was considering stopping treatment, despite the consequences of this decision. Then she had her first fall. In the middle of the night on the way back to her bed from the bathroom, she lost her balance and fell, cutting a large gash in her nose on the way to floor. She made it back to her bed and waited a few hours before finally calling my sister for assistance. She wasn’t wearing the Apple Watch we’d purchased for her explicitly for this purpose after my father’s death.

The fall was unnerving for her (and all of us), but my sister installed motion-detector night lights and we reminded her to wear her Apple Watch. Despite the fall, she did well living independently, continuing to drive, etc. I offered to visit and spend a few nights with her, but my son’s wedding was approaching and she declined my offer. She did, however, remind me of her wish to never go to a nursing home; she had sufficient savings to afford in-home care when the time came.

Although she didn’t resume treatment after the fall, her condition stabilized and she seemed to be gathering strength. Even the fluid around her lung, which had caused a troublesome cough and required drainage every so often was improving. Reluctant to make any concessions to her illness, she was forced to cancel the cruise she’d planned to take with Beth, me and a friend after Brady’s wedding.

When our son Brady contracted Covid a week before his wedding, she wisely decided not to attend the wedding as well. The trip from Indiana to Maine would have been too difficult even with my sister’s help, and the risk of Covid gave her an acceptable excuse to cancel.

In the early morning hours of September 13, however, Mom felt very dizzy and generally unwell so she reached out to neighbors for help (Lori was out of town). An ambulance was called and she was taken to the hospital where she was diagnosed with A-Fib and extreme covid. (A-Fib is one of the symptoms of the new Covid variant). Again, she wasn’t wearing her Apple Watch. We were sad that Mom had been infected with Covid, but relieved that she’d not gotten it from attending Brady’s wedding. (Actually, no one got sick from Brady’s wedding.)

Her blood work in the hospital was terrible, but again she rallied (with the help of Prednisone) and she was much improved by the time I took her home on Sunday, just 5 days after she was admitted. I stayed at the house and helped her for two weeks. During this time, she was weak but still able to care for herself with some assistance from me (preparing meals, cleaning the house, laundry, driving, etc.). She was well enough to resume her lifelong habit of creating a daily to-do list each morning on a yellow legal pad. Visits to her doctor (including a CT scan with contrast) gave her hope. She was diagnosed with pericarditis (fluid around the heart) as a result of Covid, but cancer activity was nominal. The cancer was still present but it wasn’t aggressively spreading. She was given hopeful instructions to concentrate on recovering from Covid.

Her list of medications continued to grow in number and dosing complexity. I made a spreadsheet to keep it straight. Xanax was added to the mix to help ease her growing anxiety. In the middle of the night, she would wake in fear that she was having trouble breathing (but her blood O2 was still good). All this was manageable, but she wasn’t eating so she continued to lose weight and when the prednisone course ended, she began to get weaker.

I can’t cook but I did my best to prepare or purchase simple comfort food. No matter how absent her appetite she could always to be tempted into eating a Wendy’s frosty or DQ milkshake. She spent more and more time each day sleeping, in between bouts of fretting over how much she was sleeping. Ever the athlete, she insisted on walking laps inside the house and down the street in an effort to exercise herself to good health. She simply refused to accept this decline as inevitable and irreversible. Finally, one of her trusted doctors had to advise her to concentrate on rest and postpone the training sessions for a few weeks.

Just a few weeks earlier, Holley, her beloved sister-in-law had a large tumor removed from her colon and was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. Holley’s condition had worsened quickly and as a result Mom's brother, a retired orthopedic surgeon, was understandably preoccupied with his wife’s condition. Holley was admitted to a hospital and rallied briefly before going to hospice. Holley passed away after just a few days in hospice but with my help Mom was able to visit her three times.

I’d been in Evansville for two weeks when Holley died; this was a week longer than I’d expected and I’d run out of contacts lenses and didn’t have appropriate clothing for my aunt’s funeral. Meanwhile, Mom continued to weaken, sleeping more and eating still less. She needed a caregiver in the house 24x7 so my sister and I began contacting agencies and secured caregivers before my departure.

I was at our home in Washington for just 2 days before returning with Beth and clothes for Holley’s funeral and the expectation that we would be back home in a week. We flew into St. Louis and rented a car to drive to Evansville, planning to attend the funeral and then return to St. Louis to spend time with her parents for a few days before departing. With the in-home caregiver situation largely resolved for Mom, I assumed her condition would stabilize for a while.

Beth and I had a hotel, but all that week I was at the house with Mom during the day before leaving when the nighttime caregiver arrived. Holley’s funeral was on Tuesday but Mom was too weak to attend. That same day she requested a walker. There was no doubt she needed one, but her requesting it was a psychological concession on her part. We secured the walker that day and that night she insisted that I help her walk three laps inside the house, “to help her get better”.

On Wednesday, a home oxygen concentrator was delivered. The oxygen machine was mostly for psychological support – knowing it was there if she needed it (and she rarely needed it). By this time it was obvious that Mom’s condition wasn’t going to plateau and that despite her preference, she needed care in a professional healthcare setting. I’d broached this subject with Mom earlier in the week and she’d resisted. Through tears she said, “Going to someplace like that is a slippery slope and I don’t want to get on the slippery slope.” She still refused to acknowledge the inevitability of her situation. I gently responded, “Mom, you’re on the slippery slope. I’m concerned that if you stay in the house, something might happen, you could fall for instance, and we wouldn’t be able to get you up and you won’t be able to recover.”

Evansville is a relatively small city and staffing 24X7 caregivers couldn’t be done with a single agency. My sister cobbled together a network of caregivers that friends in similar situations had used but Mom’s needs were increasing beyond even this network. I reminded Mom that we’d spend any amount of money to keep her in her house, but we were running into limitations we couldn’t overcome.

Her brother set aside his grief over the death of this own wife and visited Mom on Wednesday. At our request he encouraged her to go to Primrose. Primrose is an assisted living facility which their friends had used and it had a good reputation. Mom reluctantly agreed to go. Lori and I had toured Primrose that day and provided a deposit in the hope we could secure a room immediately, pending their evaluation of Mom’s needs. Even if accepted at Primrose, however, we would still need to provide 24x7 caregivers to be in Mom’s room at all times. In deference to Mom however, we pursued this option rather than a skilled nursing facility.

By Thursday we’d secured a wheelchair as she could no longer use the walker safely. She was sleeping practically all day, eating almost nothing, and required assistance to stand.

By Friday she couldn’t get out of chair or stand on her own. I had to do most of the work with a lifting strap. Unfortunately, the Primrose evaluation was scheduled for the following Tuesday. Beth and I were supposed to drive to St. Louis to return the rental car before flying home on Saturday, but it was obvious I couldn’t leave. I borrowed a car from my sister, followed Beth to St. Louis to return the rental car before driving back to Evansville on Saturday.

When we returned on Saturday Mom had declined still further, awake but too weak to talk or open her eyes or eat or toilet. It was clear that Mom needed to go to hospice, the same hospice used by her sister-in-law just a week earlier. We let her sleep that afternoon and when the ambulance arrived around 5, I had to wake her and tell her that we were taking her to Deaconess. This was intentionally misleading but accurate. Deaconess is the health system that runs the hospital she’d used as well as the hospice. I said we need to go to Deaconess because she needed more care than we could provide in order for her to get better. She resisted by saying, “But why, I’m just sleeping?” This was a difficult conversation, but I was insistent and patient and eventually she allowed me to lift her out of her chair, help her onto the gurney and ride with her in the ambulance to the hospice center.

Fortunately, Mom was too weak to open her eyes so she didn’t realize she was being wheeled into the hospice center, into a room identical to Holley’s (the suite next door actually). It was clear that we couldn’t have waited any longer to move Mom to hospice. She immediately required a catheter and her bladder had obviously been full and uncomfortable.

The Linda White hospice center is a beautiful new facility attached to a Deaconess hospital. Each suite has a large sitting area for family/guests and an attached bedroom with two twin beds. The hospice administers medication, moves and toilets the patient but other than that they only come when alerted with a call button. Mom was frequently conscious but rarely opened her eyes and couldn’t use the call button. Lori, Beth or I were with Mom from 8 am to 11 pm each day and then one of our outside caregivers stayed with Mom overnight.

The first evening was difficult. Weeks of opioid painkillers left her painfully constipated. She refused to use a bedpan so I lifted her onto a bedside chair/toilet. This was unsuccessful so we returned her to bed, the nurse administered a suppository and an hour later we repeated the process, this time with some success. I’ve never provided such hands-on care to an adult. It was humbling for everyone. My mom was such a proud woman, always careful in her appearance and to see her stripped of all of this, practically naked and utterly helpless as I lifted her off the bed was sobering. I only cared for my mother for a few days/weeks and always had lots of paid assistance as well as the help of my sister – I can’t begin to imagine the strength and patience of those who care for their parents full time for an extended period.

On Sunday, the swelling of my Mom’s feet which had begun a few days earlier grew much worse. The nurse informed us that this was significant a development and indicated that Mom was experiencing congestive heart failure. Mom remained marginally responsive though with her eyes closed and she was able to minimally engage with the friends who came to visit her.

Mom continued to generally deny the reality of her situation and in order to avoid upsetting her, we placed this message on the door to her suite:

Mom did make one concession to her condition, however, she asked to be visited by her parish priest. We left the room when he visited to pray, hear her confession, and deliver the last rites.

By Monday morning Mom was barely able to swallow her oral medications and we accepted the nurse’s recommendation to begin administering comfort medication (morphine, etc.) intravenously using the port which had been previously used for chemotherapy.

Mom’s condition continued to deteriorate; she stopped eating completely and drank very little. Answers to yes or no questions were difficult. Monday and Tuesday were spent in quiet vigil, interrupted only by the occasional visitor. Mom couldn’t respond but was likely conscious at least occasionally. In what I believed was a moment of lucidity, I told her I loved her and that she’d been a great mom and done well with her life. This would have a been a good conversation to have a few weeks ago or even a few days ago, but she was never willing to accept her impending death. I took occasional breaks to get a meal or workout, confident that my sister would alert me of any changes. As Mom continued to sleep, I started and completed her obituary as well as the slide show to be shown during the visitation at the funeral home.

Lori and I chose to spend the night with her Tuesday night, sleeping in shifts. I was surprised she was still with us on Wednesday morning when Beth arrived and thought (feared) she might linger in this condition for a few days. Beth and I had just left her room on our way to the hotel to shower and change clothes when we heard the tech nurse call urgently. We quickly returned to Mom’s room and the charge nurse informed us, “It is happening now.” Lori had also stepped out of the room briefly and Beth went to retrieve her. It was obvious that Mom was dying at that moment and that she somehow timed it for the only moment in the past 48 hours in which both Lori and I had been out of the room. Lori and I each held one of Mom’s hands. We could see that she’d stopped breathing, but I could still feel Mom’s pulse in her hand. Lori and I spoke to Mom, telling her we loved her, reassuring her that her family was fine and congratulating her on a life well lived. Her pulse continued for 30 seconds until it weakened and stopped. The color had drained from her face and she was gone.

After a few more minutes of farewells and hugs amongst ourselves, we tidied the room and left with the pictures, flowers, and mementos we’d brought in an effort to make her comfortable. We headed to my sister’s home where I poured myself a large whiskey and offered the first of many toasts I will make to the memory of my wonderful mother.

I left home as a freshman in college and except for the summer break before my sophomore year, never again lived at home (or in the same city as my parents) for more than a few days. Married at 23, Beth and I lived in St. Louis, Dallas, Minneapolis, Bellevue and now a small town in the Cascades in Washington state. My mom always hoped we’d move to Evansville and occasionally I felt guilty for not spending more time with my parents, but it was best for me personally and professionally as well as my marriage that we never lived closer than a few hours away and usually much further than that.

Despite this long physical absence (or perhaps because of it), we were always on good terms and avoided much of the drama that can ensnare parent/adult child relationships. I’m at peace knowing that when my mom needed support and a caregiver, I stepped up and fulfilled my obligation. I did the right thing and have no regrets.

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afreakingdork · 1 month

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Weak Spot - Chapter 64

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

EDIT 4/30/24 DUE TO A HATEFUL REMARKS THIS CHAPTER ART HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY REMOVED

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex, Dom Donnie, Human/Turtle Relationships, Turtle Noises, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay

Synopsis: A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

I’m dedicating this chapter to Drakkensdatter who gave me quite the insight which I got to employ here! I hope you like it!

Fem!Reader References/Warnings Below Cut

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

LAST WARNING FOR THE 🍋 UNDER THE CUT. MINORS DNI!

Fem!Reader References/Warnings: slit, cunt, vagina, clit, pregnancy thoughts to the millionth degree in every dang version you can think of, breast, boob, cervix, womb, uterus, tubes, eggs, what can I say you finally get peed on, and reader gets called mother (joking) then for real?

The beginning of July found you making sandwiches. Almost a week had passed since the Hamatos’ had finally departed and you and Donnie were still devouring time together. Nearly inseparable, there wasn’t much left before you returned to work the next day. A little overdue, but something you imagined couldn’t have been helped since there was no way you could have left Donnie alone with the other turtles, you had a meeting scheduled with the higher ups.

You’d already fielded both Donnie and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. from interfering.

You knew what was going to happen. It was the same thing that happened to Tami when she was diagnosed with cancer. She was demoted to an ancillary position where her repeated absences wouldn’t hurt the company workload. She could keep her health insurance in full. She’d just have to take a pay cut. All things you were ready to account for and only minorly irritated as you had been on the road to a nice increase before your many ‘illnesses,’ you’d resigned yourself.

You could only hope this would stop happening and you’d be returned to your regular position in no time.

Grabbing toast, you maneuvered around your boyfriend where he was comically bent at the hips. It was a prime watching position where his arms were folded on the counter and his head was tucked down in them. You jostled him affectionately with a little bump as you laid out two plates. “Still marveling at my sandwich skills?”

He lifted his mouth from his sleeve only long enough to speak. “None have compared to that days.”

“Thanks.” You gave him a dry look and saw your bread was the same.

“Rarity enhances importance.” There was the slightest sway of his shoulders that said his tail was making lazy rounds. “I am indulging in my mate as of current.”

You made a big move of smooching his forehead. “Let’s indulge in that new mustard too then.”

He gave an affectionate bow of his head.

You turned to grab the cute jar and returned with a knife. Slathering a careful amount on, you assembled the ingredients. You then pressed the breads together and with a quick guillotine, cut them in half for the sake of it. “What do you want to watch while we eat?”

For a moment, Donnie didn’t respond and you figured he was thinking.

Turning a plate to admire your handiwork, you felt time linger for too long and turned to check what was holding him up. You expected a little reverence as he’d been pouring it on thick. What you didn’t expect was to find him vacantly staring. Not all there, he was both looking at and through you.

The familiarity of the gaze haunted you.

You recognized that look.

It had been seared into your brain.

You knew what it proceeded.

Not just your blood pressure, but your entire center of gravity plummeted and you had to lean further into the counter.

“Oh no…” You mouthed in horror.

Donnie watched on with an unfocused gaze.

“No. No, no!” You pushed the plates away to grab and shake him.

He snapped out of his stupor and blinked wide. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“You’re going into heat!”

He gawked.

“Do you remember the last few seconds?! The question I just asked?! Staring?!”

He only had to search you for a single second before he lifted in a similar horrified fit. “No.”

You pressed your fingertips right into your eyes as you stepped away.

You weren’t sure you could handle his mating season right now.

Hell, you were downright confident.

It took not only an extreme physical toil, but a mental one too.

There was so much care.

So much to think about.

“That can’t…” Donnie mouthed.

You’d only been walking without an aid for a couple days and that was more of a trial run.

You were going to bring your crutch to work.

“I missed it.” A purple light warmed your lids in a way that signaled he’d summoned some screens. “May 17th marked the official start date of my last. It was proceeded by about a month of signaling.”

Then there was the apartment. You loved your home, but there was no way in hell you were going to be constrained to this room for another few weeks.

“Viable mate!” Donnie’s voice held a sense of urgency. “That is what we hypothesized! It held true! You were not viable and therefore I did not go into heat!”

You finally looked at him, ever weakening.

He took you in with growing misery. “We missed our anniversary, Valentine’s…”

Something about the weary look on his face reminded you of the good.

You saw feral Donnie remorseful and affectionate.

You remembered how he doted on you.

Curled up together, you could hear the faint loving chirps he cooed.

No matter how embittered you’d exited that time, you’d also been brought undeniably closer.

It was the point you’d started thinking of each other as mates.

That intimacy flushed over you and you looked away with metered guilt.

Beside you, you could sense current Donnie raise with concerns regarding your changing attitude.

You imagined your shift confused him.

It confused you.

You weren’t really considering it.

It would be nice though.

To feel close to him.

You did.

There was no question.

You also didn’t, to a certain extent.

Everything felt like catching up.

You yearned for that easy intimacy.

The one you didn’t have to think about in a sense of relief.

The one that came because you knew how to weave around one another.

You hadn’t even fucked.

Putting your face in your hands, your breath puffed into your palms as you thought about sex.

It was an integral part of your connection with Donnie, but it had been so tame and slow since. Nothing you regretted or disliked, he used too much care as neither of you knew where the bar was anymore. He’d gone down on you and was in a constant state of unsure how to hold your legs around him. You had lost the same strength to squeeze him between your thighs and had little in the way to signal him. Alternatively, when you’d teased his slit, it’d been done so wary of your aching shoulder and a bubble of sadness that you no longer could hook his thighs in the way you wanted.

Heat Donnie knew none of that.

He’d only plow you because you were there to breed.

It sent a rush or arousal through your body as you peeked between your fingers at your partner.

You expected scolding.

You were even prepared for him to roll his eyes.

Instead, he had a similar forlorn expression.

He wanted you to.

Even though his heat was time technically lost for him, he’d felt that same draw afterward.

You both yearned to reconnect.

You moved into him and pressed to his front.

His arms came around you in a lazy tenting.

“The data came off regular softshell turtle seasons, right?”

His body moved with a nod.

“How long are those? It sounds like it should be over…”

“It depends on the weather, but typically in the middle of the spring season till early summer.”

You wanted to thump your head against his plastron. “Meaning…”

“If the viable portion holds true, you’ve healed enough for my instincts and we-”

“Just barely didn’t miss the window.” You groaned into him.

He held you for a long moment. “Let me lock myself away this time. The P.O.P. suit is long completed as is a new device to ease the constant drop.”

You vaguely remembered him showing you the finished pieces.

He brushed your back. “’No more injuries of any kind.’”

“We’d be apart again.”

His hand stopped, dead.

“You might not remember, but I will…”

You could feel his whole being tense.

“You said we wouldn’t be apart.”

You hated it.

You hated playing that card.

You weren’t trying to sway him.

It’s not like you wanted to go through another bout of heat when the thought of just getting through your meeting tomorrow filled you with enough exhausted dread.

You were tired.

You were beyond fatigued of being forced apart.

This season was meant for you.

It was designed for coupling.

Your real vacation had been interrupted.

Any subsequent time off had been forced.

Mating season was something you’d been looking forward to once.

You’d banked your paid time off on it.

It was supposed to be yours.

You wanted it.

You were so going to get fired. “Donnie.”

“Y/N.” He had as many reservations as you.

“There’s time…. Or there should be?”

He was wound tightly.

“You signaled for about a month before it kicked in. That means we should have the same amount of time…”

“Conjecture.”

“Isn’t all of it?”

He had no response.

“Do you remember how I thought I could handle it? The lead up, if we do it right… this can work.”

“Again, betting on instinct…” He rubbed up to your shoulder to coax you away.

“Your whole mating season is a hypothesis!”

He could argue that and you finally looked up at him.

He looked down with swirled concern and obvious desire.

“We try together and I swear to you that if anything happens at all, I will use the P.O.P. protection and anything else you make. I’m not going to be rash. Together. I want to try.”

He undeniably wanted to. “You’re sure…? I can’t control him.”

You nodded. “I can’t either, but you’re easily swayed.”

The faintest wry edge twitched his lips. “Work?”

“The point of the meeting tomorrow is to discuss my future. Maybe I loose my job, maybe I don’t. I’ll start sending resumes elsewhere while we plan. It’s not the best, but hey, if I do get accepted somewhere, I can always say I already had this vacation booked!”

“This… I shouldn’t be considering this…” Donnie lamented with closed eyes.

“Same. Trust me.” You leaned against him. “I really… really… want to be with you. When it was good, Donnie… It felt amazing.”

He gave the lightest churr.

You rooted into him to turn up the volume.

It came with a vibration. “We will require extreme transparency. Unlike any before.”

“I’ll start taping when you phase out. I’ll help you study it where you can’t and I’ll tell you everything I have in mind.”

“We’re doing this…” He had an uneasy note to his voice. “I am going to hope my staring bout was a momentary lapse. We’ll prepare for nothing.”

You patted him knowing that was absolutely a form of bargaining. “One request.”

“Your second.”

“The first was a mutual agreement.” You looked up at him with cool irritation.

He wouldn’t be budged but amused guilt wrinkled his gaze. “Go ahead.”

“We do it in the biodome: your oasis.”

The request caught him between surprise and titillation to manifest in an involuntary excited chirp.

The next day was characterized by highs and lows.

Your ‘trip’ was authorized.

You were demoted.

Donnie had helped you rebrand your time off as a health retreat which your company was fine with indulging as you were already partially written off due to ongoing illness.

As much as you prepared, the meeting’s reality still stung. You felt as though all of it was a slight that was covered by pleasantries, but you tried to take it in stride. You’d sent out a few resumes, even though you sort of assumed you might not hear anything back. Whether you wanted more or not, it seemed like something out of your hands so for the time being you took what you could get because there was more to deal with.

It came in the form of Donnie’s second drift which came soon after you were home from your first day back to work. You’d dutifully recorded it and as soon as Donnie came to, you showed him. He accepted with a tempered sigh that said he already knew this was actually his heat. He only needed the evidence to cement it for him. Already prepared, he’d gotten up to present you with blueprints.

A lot of thought was put into preserving the biodome’s ecosystem, so a small natural cabana sort of building would be built as a nest in an area where there was space. Construction was arranged to minimally disturb the creatures who lived there and the only other larger project was a bathing station connected to a far wall where there was plumbing. Something that couldn’t be as well integrated, you’d have a state of the art restroom at your beck and call.

For your body, there would be inoculations prior to fend off bodily invaders in the way of bacteria and the like. Donnie had even plucked a new insect repellent formula from his many patents and finished it so it could be safely implemented to you after a few weeks of testing. His plans were all directed toward you being able to focus only on pleasure and you turned into him with a prepared list of your own.

Not anything like his presentation, you instead walked him through how you thought you could offset the violent start to his heat. You hypothesized that he didn’t initially recognize you as his mate and you thought that was because you hadn’t responded to any of his preceding interest. Following through and reassuring him each time he went through one of pre-heat phases as you both now called the staring fits, you figured you could make it known you were his prior. He then wouldn’t be compelled to jump you so aggressively which would overall make the heat smooth sailing.

Donnie wasn’t convinced, but agreed before putting forth the next item of business: a sort of rebreather mouthpiece that was promised to have the power of a fully functioning oxygen tank.

A small device, you’d looked over the notes and he only mentioned the prototype would be ready tomorrow.

You’d been in the pond before and felt confident enough in the water so you pressed him as to why he created it.

“I have a feeling I will drag you under.”

He already had in an emotional sense and you wrapped your arms around him to daydream about underwater sex.

The next few weeks flew by in a busy coordination. There was work at the forefront. Your new position had you organizing long neglected documents. Then there was planning what was essentially a roughing it sort of camping trip whose duration was thought to be up to two weeks. Finally you had Donnie’s phases to attend to which had long morphed into a solace.

His next had started two days after your plan conversation and had happened yet again in the kitchen. You’d immediately dropped what you were doing outside of setting up your phone to record and curled into him. The dulled version of him tracked you as you pressed into his body and nudged up against the underside of his chin to gather his scent.

He chirped.

A sound quiet and without too much specificity, it was the first time he’d ever reacted to anything in the stupor and had you startling away.

He woke from your jarring and together you watched the footage to see his eyes had closed to a sort of contentedness from your move.

Donnie was a little flushed as he told you both he thought it would work and that the feel good chemicals released from the transaction were still coursing through him.

You were fingered right there on the counter and came fast to his satisfaction.

It became a routine that worked in both your favors. Little moments where the world shrank down to the two of you, Donnie taught you how to properly scent him. You mapped out his glands in nuzzles and Donnie stopped wearing his neck wrappings around the house in case it interfered with transference. You made up for his lost support with massages and found he especially loved to be scratched at the joints between his jaw and throat. It stretched sensitive skin just above his scars and was one of the few areas he still had accurate feeling around his throat.

Often kissing there for the sake of it, Donnie began to nudge you when he phased out. Nothing overt still, he bumped your heads which conscious Donnie identified as part of a softshells mating ritual. A question of whether you were receptive to him, you worked together on how best to respond as pacificity was usually how a male knew to go ahead. You tested out cuddling him, which phased Donnie approved with churrs so later the response was approved with a fierce kiss as soon as your mate came too.

Rebreather tested.

Work settled.

Construction completed.

Shots administered.

The time between Donnie’s phasing was lessening and it was a weekend morning when your boyfriend loomed obsessively in a way that felt just like that long fateful day. You made an excuse to leave, not that his tympanum picked it up, and only left a note behind saying it was time.

You grabbed your last properly cooked meal from a shop before heading to Donnie’s work. It had been something light, but tasty and you entered his building with a carefully filled stomach and your ID card. Unlike before, this time you were paid little mind and you wondered what kind of instructions Donnie had given considering you would clearly be going in and not exiting for days on end.

It mattered little as you pressed the elevator keys in the way he showed you to access the biodome and you saw the appropriate letters appear where floor numbers usually sat. There was still no Darling Protocol here and you knew you only had temporary access as the elevator scanned fingerprints along with a million other metrics. You liked that Donnie preserved a space of his own and. as the door’s opened, you welcomed the humidity like an old friend.

You were excited.

Waiting for the doors to seal up, you heard the latch click and elevator disappear down the shaft before you began to strip. Avoiding the pitfalls of yesteryear, you placed your clothes in an awaiting receptacle and plucked out the bottle of lube there. Taking your time, you warmed some fluid and probed yourself in preparation before stepping out, nude, onto the path. The steps were freshly swept and you could picture Donnie tidying up the space in a nervous fit as he waited for you to arrive. Smiling at it, you took the path’s slow curve and came out to the body of water where you could see Donnie, similarly naked, standing with his carapace to you on the opposite side.

“Hey!” You called out.

“Welcome!” He responded without moving.

“You ready?” You began to round the pond.

“Scared.” He spoke clearly.

“We’ll be okay. How’s P.O.P.?”

He held up the wrist where his primary tech gauntlet usually sat and showed, in a calculated rotation, that light reflected off the barely there band of the new system.

“If you try to take it off I’ll stop you.” The grass felt plush underfoot.

His head dipped in a nod.

You were edging the no-return zone where he’d catch your scent. “Donnie.”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

He gave a metered sigh and you saw some of his anxiety fall off. “And I love you.”

You chuckled and crossed the invisible threshold.

Donnie turned in time and you watched cohesion fall off your mate as he caught sight of you. Dropping first his head and then his entire body, he wove a curious back and forth tilt. You didn’t give him too much attention as you approached, only watching his darkened eyes out of your periphery as you examined the nest. You’d seen it a few times for preliminary checks, but now that it was about to be your primary home, it felt the most like a vacation than it had yet.

Donnie openly churred as he closed in and you couldn’t help but finally turn to him.

“I keep telling you.” You reached out a hand and he only sniffed it once before shoving his head against your palm. “You’re still you. Look, even like this you refused to churr before. You’re so silly.”

He nipped lightly at your fingers when you tried to pet him and you relented as he rose into your space. Clearly scenting you, he then bumped his head to yours and this time you withheld indulging it.

He vibrated against your throat and nosed right into your mating mark.

You chanced lightly brushing his arms.

His head deviated at the touch before he commingled into you. Breathing him in in a very literal sense, you took the last leading steps onto the soft cotton in the nest. There it devolved into a soft haven and you knelt down into it in a slow show as he shadowed your every move. Getting onto your hands and knees, you adjusted the height of your buttocks to present before you slowed and waited with just the faintest tinge of anxiety.

Part of your mind tried to crop up memories of the pain from the last time, but you shoved them away in favor of all the success you had in coaxing his phasing. You reminded yourself that he had already bruised you by now and this current Donnie had yet to truly touch you.

Uncoordinated fingers grazed your side just to prove you wrong.

He didn’t do his mating dance.

Was that bad?

You tried to hush the flurry of thoughts.

There was more than one way for a softshell to mate.

You and Donnie had been over this in painstaking detail.

One route had the male swim down from above to mount the willing mate.

You were presenting that exact scenario, just out of water.

Donnie’s hands slid to almost hold your waist.

Mounting.

He’d mount you.

You were okay.

You were ready.

A tongue pressed scorching hot into your sex.

You cried out at its presence and arched on reflex.

He didn’t let up and licked further into you in a way that made you realize he was distracted by the lube. Something neither of you had considered since last time he hadn’t seemed to notice, it occurred to you only now that you hadn’t started with it so by the time he might have, it would have already been mixed with his spunk. Eating the foreign substance out of you, you panted as he scrubbed his beak to reach as deep as his tongue allowed. Invaded and with huffs of his hot breath scalding your perineum, his focus wasn’t on your pleasure, but its insistence wound you up.

The messy process brought you a certain distance, but nowhere close enough when he finally retreated. Your ass sank from the assault and you could hear him messily licking the mixed slick presumably off his hands where he’d tried to rub the wetness away from his cheeks. Probably smelling more like you by the second, you sighed once before raising back up and giving a needy version of your mating call.

You could hear Donnie grind to a halt just before he gave an interested trill in return.

“Why not say it back?” You complained before shaking your head and trying the noise again.

This time you heard him land on his hands before he appeared in your vision with a curious tilt of his head to the blankets. He peeped there as if it were a greeting and you sat up to appraise him.

His body fell over nearly instantly and it had a cat-like ploy to it as if he were showing his belly.

You looked past his plastron since it was all the same and saw the tip of his cockhead just barely peeking out of its entrance.

“It’s harder to get a read on you like this…” In a slow show you ran your hand over the flat area over his belly and downward.

He cheeped accordingly and you didn’t pause as you trended down between his legs.

“You can’t be stuck right?” You pressed the puckered lips around his slit where he cock was plumping them out.

He gave a mangled chirp and you saw a very obvious flexing of his pelvic muscles.

He was fighting the drop.

Hand retreating, you moved in close to snuggle up to his side.

“What’s wrong? Why are you resisting?”

He churred at your attendance and nosed you warmly.

“What is it…?” You moved to touch him and he let your hands rove amongst the many little noises he made.

One such around the sides of his shell had him shift and turn where he shoved his head directly into your bad shoulder. Not a painful maneuver nor an accidental one, it was like he was curling to protect it and it was there you understood.

“You’re you. You’re always you.” You told him and pulled him up for a kiss that tasted of your essence. “I got hurt, but I’m okay. Those are scars. You have nothing to worry about.”

You crawled on top of him.

“Look.”

He fell back onto his carapace and watched you.

“Not like perfect obviously, it still hurts, but I’ve been getting my muscles back.”

You aligned your pelvises and you watched him hesitate at your positioning.

You took a moment to take his hands and plaster them with kisses as you chirped your own affections.

He gave a few back.

“How dare you prep me and not follow through though. So mean. You’re so mean like this. So selfish.” Spreading your legs a little farther than you had yet dared, your slit pressed flush to his.

His squeak warbled with warning.

You shushed him and were deliberate in stroking your sex against his.

His cockhead caught your clit and both of you called out different cries.

Catching his plastron the best you could, you watched his expression pain and you shook your head as you repeated the maneuver. It came with a few weak squeaks before he outright squawked and you readied yourself. He flew on slipping hands to hoist his torso up so instead of piercing you, his cock slid out heavy along your sex and you were left perched atop its midpoint.

He panted heavily there, seemingly satisfied with himself for saving you.

You kissed hard into his face and he grunted from the force.

It was just enough distraction that you caught hold of his length and lined him up.

He clicked with anger and you gave your sternest mating call along with a glare.

Something about the pair had him searching your face with those blackened eyes of his.

“Please…?” You poured on sweetly, but he clicked a few times as you tried to close in. “Okay… Fine.”

Still kissing his cheek where he turned his head away, you dismounted him and he stopped to watch you. Curious, he tilted his head and you laid on your back before spreading your legs wide for him. You watched his erection pulse and he opened and closed his mouth as if the line of saliva was puppeting him. Remembering a certain involuntary show you had once put on, you dipped your fingers into your sex to tease yourself. You got exactly two strokes before he slapped your hand away.

“Well?” You held up the whetted fingers for him and his beak leaned in, intoxicated by the scent. “Don’t like it when I touch me? Do something about it.”

He caught your wrist and sucked your digits into his mouth. Messy swipes of his tongue came next and you tried to time rolling your hips in presentation for him. He extracted your hand with a pop and clicked one sharp time. You gave your cutest mating call and waited for him with an arched brow. Almost growling, he dropped down and walked up the length of you, his erection dragging against your leg before he sent uneven displeasure down to you via his expression.

You wriggled ready beneath him.

He chuffed so hard you felt the warm air before he looked down and watched where his cock edged close to your cunt. You gave your best questioning chirp. He clicked in response, but moved his hips the slightest bit closer. With a shift, you angled your pelvis in a show. He exhaled slow and long like deflating pressure before his cock finally brushed your center. You exaggerated a mating call and he nosed you so hard up from your chin it felt like him flicking you.

You chuckled through the sting and he clearly grouched as his glans slid along your wet folds. You gave a puffy breath at the feeling of him and chewed your lip to keep from chasing him. It gave him space to test and each uncoordinated swipe had him losing will. With you and his body betraying him, his hips rolled for presses until his glans pressed to enter you.

You caught a noise in your throat and best pleaded with your expression. He watched it with a narrowed gaze before he pushed again, his cock bending to breach you the slightest amount. You tried to keep him in your vision, but your gaze swam at the spreading pressure. His churr multiplied at the sight and with a few more inaccurate rolls of his hips, he passed the tighter ring of flesh for both of you to moan.

Everything after that was a given.

Three total times on the first go around and you could only count by the sudden bursts of his cum. You’d nearly forgotten they happened without warning and the first time you sobbed at the amount. It unnerved him, but you trapped him in place with locked legs and a few clicks of your own. Clearly wary, but still compelled, he licked the salt from your cheeks and you kissed him lazily where he could not return it.

You came somewhere between two and three as he was still getting the hang of your pleasure. Something you akinned to like riding a bike, he had to fight off instinct and in that battle he lost a few key details. You minded little as sweat stewed your bodies together and the soup you created was one all your own. Seasoned with your favorite ingredients the streak ended only because you felt a tug just above your knee.

The bones were mended and sealed, but strain sometimes made it feel like they threatened to buckle for the strangest sensation. From Donnie’s third overflowing load, you nudged him as best you could and gave a withered squeak. He came away instantly and slammed down against your side to best monitor you. You shushed his concerns, body tingling pleasantly and tried to convey that you hadn’t passed your limits; you just needed to set them.

He didn’t understand, but you also needed your strength for something else. While another fuck was possible, you didn’t want to incapacitate yourself quite yet and sat up. Doing a little stretch, your mate curled around your hips while you searched the nest. Hidden away under a pillow, you found a purple cylinder and brought it up to him to sniff.

He only barely stuck his beak out before black marbles were once again staring at you.

You gave a single chuckle as conscious Donnie had predicted this. He’d kept the object close to his body so the scent was wholly his. It meant current Donnie would accept the objects place amongst his nest. That hypothesis ringing true, you found the quick release latch and opened up the device that reminded you very much of an instrument case for one particularly lewd flute.

“Okay… this is going to be a thing. Think you can at least try for me?” You looked to Donnie as if you were trying to get an unruly kid to the dentist.

He stared back without comprehension.

You sighed and got up on your knees to approach where his cock hung heavy and ready for use. “This is a step beyond a cock sleeve.”

He didn’t react much as you laid the case open like a book beside his member for him to get used to.

“What did I joke it was? A cock shirt or a cock briefcase? Something stupid like that…” You flicked a switch to turn it on.

You couldn’t hear anything, but Donnie shot upright to stare down at the object.

It began to glisten as the inner mold was lubricated. “Either way, I need to put this on you so you don’t get that irritation like last time.”

His head tilted to one side as if he could find the exact mechanism that buzzed.

You were delicate in picking his cock up and holding it.

He gave what you could only hear as a nervous churr.

“You’re going to freak out… please work with me…” You switched to hold him dangling in one hand and carefully moved the sleeve between his legs.

A twitch of his thigh said he was absolutely going to run.

“Hey.” He didn’t look so you chirped loud for his attention.

He snapped to your face with a blink.

“Quit tuning my talking out. Rude. So rude.” You scolded him and he at least seemed to get your intention because he leaned into you.

You lightly kissed his head and pumped his cock the best you could with one hand before making a very slow move to lay him down into the sleeve.

He gave an almost imperceptible nervous peep. “I know, so scary. Your cock is really sensitive, but this is going to help take the edge off when I can’t.”

He sounded a few more times, but you kept him still long enough to lay him down into the mold made exactly for him.

He had a flighty air to him and you wove your free arm through his to keep him in place. “I’m not going to close it yet, but feel that? It’s warm and the fluid is something you came up with. It’s a special balm that mimics your insides.”

You stroked over the top of his member to lightly press him into the device.

He gave a few stunted seconds of churring for it.

You continued to run your hands up and down, mapping him out, and fighting the desperate urge to lay down.

“Think you’ll let me close it? Please, sweet. I really want to rest.” You traced his glans.

He rolled out the softest churr, still staring hard at the sleeve.

You moved your hand away in a big show of taking the other half device. “Please, Don?”

His body tightened up.

You shushed him and kissed into that spot between his jaw and neck.

His lids fell unconsciously and you moved to close the sleeve.

As soon as it locked into place, he was off.

You huffed with irritation and watched him several feet away in the grass as he tried to tear the object off his cock.

“Damnit, Donnie!” You got up on wobbly legs to chase him down.

He succeeded as soon as you exited the nest and ran while you retrieved the sleeve.

You then spent the next couple of hours trying to get it on him. Three times you got the thing sealed only for him to run off. It was your actual exhaustion that kept him coming back and you eventually won out because you collapsed on top of him while trying to get it on the fourth. It meant when the latch hooked that final time, he couldn’t bolt without bucking you off. He sat in clicking misery as you dozed off to that broken stove.

When you awoke, you were tucked into his side and he was watching over you.

Taking a moment to wake amongst his honey-filled greeting, you shot your gaze down to find the sleeve still over his dick.

“You didn’t…?” Tipping your head right back up to search him, he gave one loud, put out chuff.

You tackled him, opened it, and mounted him in one fell swoop.

He accepted the sleeve begrudgingly after that, but you always made sure to make it worth his while. You figured he also liked how it soothed his member and it tickled you that even in this feral state, he was just as frustratingly stubborn. It all sang true to him and you couldn’t help the affection that overflowed no matter how different the scenario was.

It was bathed in an orange glow that you ate your dinner. Enjoying the hues of the sunset openly pouring in from the dome, you had a stock of provisions all for ease with maximized health benefits. Hanging just outside the nest to avoid crumbs, you enjoyed the scenery. Birds tittered in their spots to sleep and the jungle-like foliage whispered of whatever was amongst it. You then sucked heartily from a big water bottle you could refill that had long dissolved the tablet within. Another addition for your safety, it did something about dehydration and had added minerals that didn’t affect the taste, but added the faintest grittiness which you hoped you’d get used to.

When you crawled back into bed after dusting yourself off, Donnie waited with eager chirps and you thought you might go again, but he seemed content to rest. You pondered aloud to him and he listened attentively about how he wasn’t as eager as either of you thought he’d be. He wanted you, that was clear, but his drive had been curbed from last year making you wonder what exactly was the cause.

Was it your injuries?

If that was the case, why did he go into heat in the first place?

Was he still catching up emotionally?

You knew you were stunted by the prior lack of intimacy and just being beside him satisfied you to a certain point.

Was it because he’d finally proclaimed his love?

This theory more tangential, you thought maybe revealing those final pieces had abated his desperation in claiming you. There was nothing else in that regard for him to hold back and that translated to him as a beast still ready to breed, but one that didn’t need to pin his mate down. He was honest with himself that you were his and he was himself no matter the form.

You figured it was all of the above and, as the stars came out for the barely there pockmarks in the New York sky, you rolled over and looked up through the sheer layer above the canopy. The cabana had been constructed mostly of poles with some dangling cottons draping down them for the sake of it. It created an open air feel that hid nothing away and only marked off where the nest was. The many pillows and blankets had been scented by you both a few nights prior before Donnie constructed a large enough space where both of you could lie out. From the plush nature, you knew there was some sort of base mat under it all, but you cared little because it was wonderfully comfortable.

You dozed off meaning to alleviate Donnie once before doing so, but that dreamy vacation feel came for you like that charm that had been on a bed you once liked.

You awoke deep in the night and were a happy bleary as you could barely see.

Donnie was right there in an instant, nosing you with affections in both a way that could be seen as rousing or as nudging you back to sleep. You supposed the choice was up to you and you kissed him in a test of not knowing which to commit to. He churred soft and encouraging and amongst the rolling sound you freed yourself from some covers you dredged up. Donnie slid a testing hand over your cotton warmed flesh and you knew you’d chosen to have him. Curling close, you both moved in a gentle tandem and you unhooked the cock sleeve before moving under him. He kicked the object away and his dampened cock spread eager pre-cum against your thighs before you spread.

Slotting himself between your legs, the leak reminded you of that certain level of desperation and you caught him to swipe the spunk on thick. It spread in globules that you stroked against yourself until he entered. A careful push, he didn’t force the matter and you dreamily cuddled him close as he rocked where he seemed resistant to pull out. It felt like a lullaby in the night cooled air and you watched the thin lines of his face you could barely make out in the dark. Whispering your love to him, he came first with you close behind to then languish in the fill.

You awoke to a bird’s happy trill.

Something like a confection, it invaded your dreamscape and coaxed you up. The once darkened sky now glowed a hue of opening lids and you hummed contentedly. Looking down, you found Donnie curled up and dozing beside you. Another new rarity, something about it assured you that every single one of your theories had been correct about his change. A mixture of things gone right, no matter how wrong the road there had been, Donnie protected you and felt safe enough himself to commit to a nap.

You were careful not to jostle him as you rolled over onto your belly and crawled up to the edge of the nest. It gave you a good vantage point to look out and you hydrated on silted water while you watched the sunrise. It didn’t come into distinct view, but light cracked and slipped into the space. It broke through the trees where the birds stirred with wakefulness. It poured out along the grasses where green did their morning stretches. It then reached the cabana where the cotton dropped its reddened sunset orange for the golden glow of a day anew.

When Donnie stirred, it was your turn to pour on the greetings. Staying in your same position, you were able to bend at the waist to curl overtop his tucked head. He chirped drowsy and you lined up a dozen happy ones for the sake of it. When he pulled his head from his hole, it was with a dopey sweet smile and you nuzzled and nosed him to join you in sunrise. He came with soft peeps speaking of how much he liked it and when you looked out toward the scenery, he followed suit.

Adjusting so his body could be butted up against yours, you only had to turn your head for him to be there and he gave you a sugared mating call. You responded in joyous kind and he pressed his beak to your shoulder. The opposite one of both injury and your mating mark, he mouthed it lazily in a way that you thought was him tasting you. The flash of wet heat felt good and cropped up a warmth in your belly.

Not sure exactly how to translate your feeling, you poured it into a chirp that came out needy to your ears. Its meaning met, he nibbled with purpose and began to climb atop you. Perking up your ass for him, he pressed it back down into the nest with his plastron and you sighed as he continued to lick down your spine. He sucked and bit flesh where he could, but all of it was without hurry.

It had you squirming and a morning drench of fluids felt sticky between your pressed thighs. Desire flared, you arched beneath him and he nipped to keep you in place. Outright whining because you were finally truly as needy as he presumably wanted you to be, you couldn’t understand why your back was more pressing than breeding. Wanting to be marked and flooded by him, you gave a few strangled squeaks until you stopped dead when you heard a sharp plastic click.

You instantly knew the noise to be the latch on the sleeve and had to crane a head over your shoulder where you caught the tail end of Donnie tossing the piece away.

You not only did not remember putting it back on him last night, but you were floored he’d figured out the actual mechanism to get it off in just one day’s time. The latch had been made for that purpose, but even when he tore it off yesterday it had been with yanking palms and kicking feet. He swept his gaze up to you in what almost looked like his usual smug nature and you felt the heat spread up from your gut and through your cheeks.

He gave a sultry mating call before slicking his wet cock against your ass crack. You tensed and sighed eager for him, but he only lazily swiped. Groaning your protests first before clicking a few, when you finally sent him a glare over your shoulder, he was watching with that same smarmy look.

“What?” You huffed.

He gave a questioning trill and looked down at where his pre was starting to drip.

You tried bringing your hips up but one of his palms came down to stop you.

You grumbled.

He gave a sweetened chirp.

“Seriously? What?!” You glowered at him the best you could.

He gave the start of a sharp noise.

It sounded sort of leading.

It also came familiar to your ears before you ground out a flat stare.

“I’m starting to think I like you better sex crazed!”

He did nothing more than what he’d been doing.

You summoned a deep breath before you gave the loudest mating call you could.

He gave one happy chirp before his unfocused fingers mashed hands into your ass. Your breathing warbled as he pressed and kneaded the dough there before splitting it into two where his cock moved to nestle betwixt. Pressing the flesh up and around him the best he could, he rocked there and no matter how many times you tried, he refused to let you arch. You were stuck flat on your stomach and felt irrationally submissive as he stroked himself.

You wanted him and gave spindly chirps in hopes he’d change his mind, but he only stroked himself through the crevice before he pulled a metered amount back and pressed his glans to your rectum.

You squeaked loud and in warning.

Now wasn’t the time to test that out.

You had no prep and subsequent washing was out of the question. Even with its new bathroom, the biodome wasn’t really built with a proper shower and you still had the marathon of however many days Donnie’s heat would last. It had been a nightmare enough trying to figure out the logistics of how his dropped cock would inevitably submerge in the pond water and then be later pressed into you.

Whimpering once more, you realized he was gone and looked to find him off and to your side.

There he chirped apologies where he seemed to think he hurt you.

You softened your worries in noises and nudged your head underneath his chin in hopes to soothe him. It didn’t immediately and he held onto his usual stubbornness as he fussed over you. You gave in to a point before the frustration of denial reared once again and you urged him with a soft mating call. He returned it with a questioning edge and you made a show of laying flat for him to get back on. He nosed your face up one last time to make sure confirmations were etched there before he was careful to mount you again.

Still soaked in both your slicks, this time he allowed you to pop your ass some to reveal just enough of a cavern down to your cunt.

He churred loud and proud at the soaked sight before he angled himself down the pressed line of your thighs. A rail straight to where you needed him most, it was a direct shot and he slid right in for both of you to mewl dreamily. He rocked his hips twice to seat himself how he liked before one hand slammed onto the small of your back and the other squeezed your hip. He then thrust and you wound your hands into the sheets to hold on.

Each pulse bumped down from the angle and you felt it prodding outward from the inside. It pressed further into the plush nest and, as he picked up speed, you began to realize how little strain the position put on your injuries. Unsure if he even realized it, his strokes devolved into eager pistoning.

You pulled up a pillow to stuff your moans into and one sharp buck had you crying out as an indication he wanted to hear you. Giving him a quick glare where he was hyper focused on only your connection, you faked a few cries which spurned him. Driving deeper at a new angle, his plastron cut your ass cheeks and he scraped your walls morphing the faux sounds into real ones. Losing focus as it wound you up, you felt his strokes shift as you clamped down on him. He savored the tightness and prodded you just right until cumming was an inevitability.

You did so with a gasp of his name and he gave you only a few seconds before he reset his earlier pace. Crying from oversensitivity, something about the long overdue nature of being used had you babbling an affirmation off your lips. “Yes, yes, yes!”

His churr warped into a nearly delirious noise and the hand on your back disappeared. It manifested on your opposite hip and, in what must have been a full body bend, you felt Donnie’s forehead slam into your spine as he arched all of himself into you to cum.

Each thick rope lashed you and you broke it down to a microscopic level. It was millions of invaders wriggling in a fight into your womb to break through the surface of your eggs. All for you, your repeated prattle picked up now in begging hopes that it would stick. One bouncy spring would shove a white coil through a relenting cell wall and the immediate multiplication would make up the cell knocking you up.

Bucking backwards, you wanted more and you wanted it in the right place.

Instead of resisting, Donnie seemed to catch the candor and used his hold on your hips to press you back down first there and then with his whole body. You chirped for him, begging, and he came with soothing ones as his large body meant his head appeared over your shoulder. Rolling your ass back into him, he obliged to keep rocking into you and mouthed at your mating mark.

You prepared for this.

You knew how to properly bandage it.

You wanted him to bite you.

Giving your mating call as loud as you could in an effort to deafen him, he seemed unbothered as he grazed his teeth and watched you with darkened eyes. A cool burnt cap to the molten underneath, he thrust with purpose and you felt the whole of you bounce as you began to slide in the sheets. No escape, he closed his arms in around you, trapping you there first, before his legs spread to cage your hips in. Utterly at his whim, you continued your desperate plea for more and it was around the time that tears were starting to drown your tongue that he finally sank his teeth into your shoulder.

Unlike the bite from last year, he metered the move more to hold you and you didn’t feel the skin break.

Tired of being treated like some breakable object, you thrashed in the barely there space afforded and he clicked angrily at you. Drool taking your ability to do it back, you snapped wet fingers for a similar sound and retribution took his last sense. He bit harder, finally breaking skin like the satisfying burst of a balloon and you cried out happy as he tried to fuck you still.

You extended your claws from the fabric they were buried and found his hands to shred flesh. He hissed wet bloody bubbles beside your head and shoved with so much downward force that you knew your back was going to be an exact map of his plastron groves. All pieces meant to fit together, you saw that elastic snap of sperm penetrating an egg over and over until you realized it was manifesting on your lips as a broken mating call.

He answered it in a growl and rush of cum that nearly took your vision because it felt as if it had nowhere else to go. You drowned in it, welcoming the gurgle and heat that threatened to consume you. He stuffed you and submerged his own cock in the meantime before he broke to gasp as if he forgot to breathe. You saw flecks of red saliva string off of him in a pant and your core ached, unsatisfied.

Throwing both your elbows back against his hold, he squeaked and relented enough that you got up. It took more shoves that he fought against with nips, but you knew he wouldn’t fully commit and called his bluff. He answered by having to back away, but you didn’t let him escape. When he fell back onto his carapace, you came with shaking legs that refused to break your connection. Sat reverse cowgirl, delirium spun you around and he outright moaned at the twisting feeling of your cunt on his cock.

You got one glimpse of his fucked out figure before you descended on him. He gave a mating call with a fearful edge as you went straight for your litany of mating marks and dragged your teeth in to tear the stubborn flesh. You were almost off his cock, but the spread tried to hold on and he caught you in a fumbling hold to at least stroke his tip.

The pressure of his wide glans tugging at your entrance bred a pleasant sensation and when you finally came up for air similar to him, you could feel the red staining your teeth. You used it to grin him a vicious smile and he liked his violent mate because he forced you straight down his shaft. Shoving his beak against yours in an unknown move, you tangled tongues and tasted each other as you were bounced in his lap.

You were going to find the upper limit, you decided right then. You would see if that endless amount of semen this version of him touted was actually true. You were going to see just how much baby batter he could stuff into you. You were going to make that belly distention a reality. You were going to see just how long that dropped cock could stay out. You’d scare it back into the safety of his body. You’d carve it back out of him. You’d shove it back into you where it belonged. He was yours; you were his.

His mate.

You lost track and count of anything feasible. There was no charting a thing that didn’t stop; one could only follow the duration. That came in glass above where the sun rolled over head and you assumed looked away from the lewd display. That cosmic deity could only run and hide in sight of you both. Even the reigning royalty of incomprehensible beings would think what you’d done was irreconcilable. The weight of your current erotic misdeeds would tip cosmic scales and all that was left would be scorched earth and you with child.

You awoke with a delirious start and your entire body screamed in agony.

Donnie was there.

He was always there.

He was everything.

He was also doting.

He was sweetness.

He was nuzzling you and trying to get you to lay back down.

You were upright.

Altogether as if not knowing had been the only thing holding you up, realization came with a snap of your muscles and you collapsed where none of your body would respond. You gave a withered squeak, confused as to why you’d lost coordination and Donnie chirped worries all around you.

He went on like that for what seemed like hours until you could finally see up out of the cabana over the nest. It was the dead of night and the only lights came from the building above and the faint glow around the edges from the city below.

All day.

You’d fucked what had to be non-stop all day long.

Making up for lost time, you thought.

Only you weren’t counting the last three months; you were only counting the first day of the heat.

Only four times on day one?

Pathetic.

You had so much more in you.

You had an entire legion in you to be exact.

Populations the world over were poured into your vagina.

Little swimmers that then passed the cervix, into your uterus, and to the tubes to do their jobs.

You threw a lead arm over your face and felt the shame in how determined you’d been to be bred.

The birth control was fully operational, you had to remind yourself.

You’d fucked yourself stupid as opposed to the usual other way around.

Groaning, you felt something move and fall off your chest.

Pretty sure those parts of you were safely attached, you lifted your arm the few inches you could and looked down your body. While you were left comatose in your mind, Donnie had been busy. It looked like he’d brought you a total of three water bottles along with at least four packaged foods that you could see. There was also now a set of those specially made mineral tablets, of which the set had slid from the pile on your chest before disappearing into the sheets.

You laughed.

It was weary and dry, but it came out bright nonetheless.

Donnie only squeaked with further concerns, but you waved him in before promptly passing right back out amongst your care package.

You slept straight through until what had to be the next day’s late afternoon. Shadows starting to morph, you had been cleared of everything plopped on you and Donnie bobbed in your vision with clear concern. You nuzzled into the side of his head for reassurance before you left to clean up and use the restroom. You threw a sterilized pack over your mating mark and came out with some disinfectant on cotton for Donnie.

He was already prepared to dodge at the oncoming smell, but as soon as you tried to dab his bite marks, he scampered off. You rolled your eyes as you’d at least gotten a few good pats at it and walked out after him into a small patch of natural grass. It came up in thin spindly strands and was drenched in sunshine. Falling right back into your nudist ways that came with season, it was oddly comforting to feel the rays hit your body. Your weary body begged you to sit so you soaked up the sun until your boyfriend wandered close.

“Let me clean that properly and you can join me.”

He stayed a metered amount away as if he understood.

“More grass for me.” You tilted your head up and gave a dreamy sigh.

He gave a whiny chirp.

You held up the cotton ball and waited.

With a few clicks, he eventually came over and you were slow in blotting his already healing teeth marks clean. “Good boy.”

He grumbled and you traced down to the purple casket between his legs.

“So you are putting it back on?” You gestured to it and he sat as if ready to take it off.

Your hand wilted and the non-committal nature gave him pause.

You thought for a moment before reaching out for a new offering. “Wanna snuggle?”

He came forward to set his chin in your palm.

You thought you might explode and akinned the moment to being accepted by a feral animal. “So cute…”

He chuffed lightly and you released him to get into his space. He watched you with a lazy wide pupil as you mingled close. He chirped curious when you nosed the line of his jaw and eventually gave into a churr as you pressed your lips to his. You felt the rumbling through your teeth and lined up kisses over his cheek. He bent to give you better access and you peppered his face with presses. Keeping them from being ticklish, you were pointed with each and he accepted them all with great honor.

You drifted to the side of his head, edging his scars for numbness and kissed heavy against his neck to keep the move more chaste. It put your throat on view for him and he must have felt compelled to respond in kind to the gesture because he gave a kitten’s lick to what he could reach. You giggled at the sensation and did the same to him in the equivalent spot before waiting to see what he’d do.

He found it in him to test because he nosed against the centerline of your esophagus which you again mirrored. He liked it and pressed his beak in taps down to your collar where he followed the bone to your shoulder. You shuddered at the puffs of his breath on your exposed skin and methodically copied him with brushes of your lips.

You both peeked at each other at the same time and you giggled at the coyness of it all.

Here you were, in an approximation of nature, with nothing on, and having a romp with your boyfriend in the grass.

It all felt compellingly romantic even if your partner wouldn’t consciously remember this moment.

A dreamy sound came from you and in a shove from his beak, Donnie knocked you over.

“Hey!” You scolded without heat and liked the soft grass tickling your back.

He hovered over in a non-dominating way and seemed to observe you.

You gave him your brightest smile as it was honestly there.

He seemed to inhale at the sight before he slowly descended to pick back up where he left off. Touching his beak and his lips in the process against your skin, he dotted taps over to the bulb of your shoulder and back to your sternum. He nuzzled there before licking up something he smelled which you couldn’t imagine was anything more than sweat. The sensation tickled and perked your nipples which caught his eye. Your breasts still gave him no interest in his heat, but the involuntary movement was suddenly of great importance to him.

His narrowed gaze was the last thing you saw before he enveloped the right bud in his mouth.

You cried a soprano’s note as he swiped his tongue without focus and instead to taste.

Nothing there, he unlatched and looked you over as if you were the strange one for making the erogenous noise.

“Mean…” You panted as the saliva he left behind meant the air differential teased the bud.

His gaze flicked, revealing very little white until he descended to lick a fat stripe up to the other nipple.

This time your body arched before he bit straight down.

“Ah!!” You shoved him and he squeaked as he let himself fall away.

You cupped your boob and hissed.

A quick check found no blood, but you rubbed to ease the sting. “Geez. You were so careful… Still feral. I need to remember. You’re smart, but not here here…”

After a few worried seconds, he came close with an apology oozing off of him.

“I know. You didn’t understand…” You patted his leg.

He gave what was almost a whine before bumping his head into your left shoulder.

You rested yours against his.

In a quick dip he had your breast in his mouth.

“W-wait! Why would you-!?”

He swirled his tongue and you shook against him.

It turned into a full body affair and this time he pressed you back into the grass as if laying you down. “Donnie…”

He released and nosed over the area as if sending his apologies directly to the source.

“Forgiven. You’re forgiven…” You sighed up until he repeated the process to your first nipple. “You learn too fast!”

Persistent and obviously proud of himself, you could just see his tail wagging furiously as each twist of his tongue had you writhing more and more.

You reached with fumbling fingers down the flat of his plastron.

He moved his hips closer in a shuffle and you toyed with a sleeve latch a few times before you freed his cock.

“It’s all sex to you.” You teased and pushed him away enough so you could present yourself for him.

He churred loudly as he settled down to take you and pressed his cock in.

Once seated he stopped to watch you from overhead with a rolling churr.

“Or… not?” You brushed his cheek and felt a sense of déjà vu.

With one last beak press to the plump of your cheek, he then settled with his head beside yours.

You lounged in the sun until it started to hang heavy.

Did he know?

It wasn’t possible.

There was no way this or lucid Donnie knew about your wish.

You hadn’t told anyone how much you wanted to just stay in stasis with his cock inside.

You felt warm and filled and drunk from his attention and the sun’s before he finally began to move. A slow start that came with him stretching lightly. Your warbled breath from the connection spurned him on. With increasingly heady presses, he kept you intertwined and you held onto his carapace.

You got your romp for real where it left a permanent imprint of crushed greens. Finished up, you locked Donnie’s dick up before heading back to the nest to finally eat. Having neglected to for so long, you were starved and ate your fill. You must have made it look pleasurable because you got Donnie to munch on a few morsels. More than anything you downed water in droves until you were sated and made an exaggerated collapse to curl up.

In the night you awoke again for a short sleepy session before promptly passing right back out. It seemingly fixed your sleep schedule because you were up with the birds. However tempting, you decided moderation was better for your body and staved off the idea of marathoning to instead go in spurts.

A good morning, a forenoon hello, and you broke for lunch.

Setting up beside the pond with your rebreather by your side, you ate with your toes just shy of the water. Donnie appeared only to give you a confirming once over before he dove straight in. Barely disturbing the surface, you watched him swim seemingly for the sake of it and relaxed in watching him as you ate. He came up just as you were almost done and you offered him the last bite. He sniffed at it before his beak wrinkled and he turned away to dive back in.

Shrugging to yourself, you finished off your food and were nursing a bottle of water when he emerged with his head down. You watched him lazily flicking your toes as he approached. Wet or dry mattered little to his turtle instincts so you weren’t concerned that he’d shake. You imagined he’d probably lay down next to you so you readied for the damp press when his head dipped further near your thigh. Droplets speckled your leg and he retreated with a single happy chirp.

You look down to find actively bleeding fish twitching with the last of its life.

You didn’t even have it in you to scream.

Your eyes went bug-wide and you turned them up to Donnie who gave you a second, now encouraging chirp.

Eat.

He wanted you to eat it.

From where he’d grabbed it from the water.

With his mouth.

“No!” You bellowed and shot to your feet.

Your sudden move startled him, but he was too close to the water and fell in.

Dancing on your toes, you looked around for something to flick the carcass in after him.

Donnie burst through the water’s surface already clicking.

“No! I had food! You always bring me my food! Real food! Why would you give me this?!” You pointed at the accursed fish.

He continued his clatter and moved up shore as if to defend his catch.

“Don’t touch it! Donnie!!” You reared.

He chuffed loudly, evacuating water from his nostrils before in a huffy show he dipped down.

“Don’t you dare!!!”

In a single gulp he swallowed the fish and you kicked him right back into the pond.

“Gross!!!” You complained to the air and stormed back to the nest. “I can’t believe you ate it!!!”

You heard a splash as Donnie emerged once again raging like a broken car starter.

“Don’t you dare! Leave me alone!! Ugh!!! I’ll never get you to brush your teeth!! Why did you do that?!”

Protests were had from both sides and the standoff lasted until the sun began to set. You were sure your mate had long dried, but both his stubbornness and your cold shoulder kept him elsewhere. With the sun rushing to clock out, you figured you’d be sleeping alone when you heard a soft peep.

You barely turned your head and in your periphery you saw him doing the same.

It was comical and you shook your head to finally look at him. “You don’t get the boob thing, but you get it feels good to me so you did it. I don’t like the fish thing, but that’s something you refuse to understand?”

He gave you the barest glance and almost seemed to purse his lip.

“I like kissing you. You don’t get that either.” You sighed and fully turned to him. “Both our mouths are gross right now! Conscious you makes it a big deal! Like, okay, it’s hard for even me to routinely brush my teeth in these conditions so I get it, but that was a live fish from a scuzzy pond!”

He came as close as the edge of the nest.

You shuddered. “Now when and if I kiss you, I’ll be thinking of kissing that fish.”

His head tilted where he didn’t understand.

You deflated. “You refuse to eat. I haven’t seen you drink. What can we do…?”

Donnie bowed as if to show guilt and he waited.

“Wait, wasn’t there …?” Memory jarred, you moved over to your provision pile. You dug through the many supplies that were neatly packed until you found a little packet of breath strips and read the label aloud, “’Kills 99.9% of bad breath germs.’”

He chirped curiously.

“I’m gonna assume that includes fish.” In a bob, you stepped out and approached him. “You are going to take this and hate it, but you will do it because you love me, got it?!”

He only stared at your stern pointing.

You opened the package and dropped one on your tongue where it burned before approaching him. He had a fighting stance to him and you tucked the package into one palm. With the other hand you caught his chin and, under a slight tug to his lower lip, his mouth opened. As fast as you could, you cracked the package, picked a strip, and slapped it down on his tongue before he could bite you.

His teeth still grazed your knuckle and he screeched at the taste.

You collapsed for the mental effort and watched him tussle with himself in the grass. Knowing the strip was long stuck and doing its work, you didn’t care if he ate the blades because that seemed more palatable. Feeling vindicated, you didn’t think much when he stormed toward you. He came in close and shoved his mouth to yours as if to share the pain. You only had a similar minty freshness there and when you licked into his mouth to tease him with it, he clicked so loud it percussed in your eardrums.

You released him with an evil cackle and he stayed on the far side of the nest that night. You awoke feeling cold in the early hours of the morning and tried to crawl over to him. He vacated the nest as soon as got near and you stared after him feeling only a slight tinge of guilt before you curled up to steal the last of his warmth from where he’d been.

When you got up for the day, he was waiting nearby and pointedly looking away. You chirped lonely and his aura only soured. You tried again in hopes your prevailing sadness would sway him, but he staunchly refused. Not unlike the cold you’d felt that night, the nest felt like a chilled place so you exited it to take a walk. Moving around the fresh air of the biodome, you traversed through the thicker foliage. It was where Donnie would often run to, but you found little evidence of him having been there. Instead it was an undisturbed ecosystem and you got to observe the birds from their perches. They watched you with flighty tilts of their head. An avid watcher for the time, you emerged around midday based on the sunlight.

Donnie was a lump of his carapace, pointedly not watching you from your nest.

You gave a heady sigh and looked out across the water. From the debacle yesterday, your rebreather sat where you’d left it by the shore. Staring hard at it, you circled the pond to gather it up. Once you reached it, you held the piece in your hands. Donnie’s words about dragging you under seemed unlikely. You imagined you’d probably only get to use this if you got in yourself.

Clutching the mask tight, you cocked a sort of smile before you donned it. Going through the checks Donnie taught you to make sure it was operational, you then toed into the water as quietly as you could. You told yourself you were doing this for you and waded in. Water lapping warmth around your thighs, your waist soon dipped below and the ground disappeared. Goosebumps coated your flesh and you threw out pockmarked stems as you swam towards the center.

It was there you pumped your arms, once, twice, and then dove down the best you could. The rebreather kicked in and you focused on breathing through your mouth as you looked down into the water. It was murky towards where you’d kicked up silt, but on the opposite side you could see the bottom of the pond. A layered memory, little fishes swam around the muck and you heard a splash through the water.

You tensed a little, not sure how Donnie would react, but you only saw a flash of him before he headbutted you in the stomach. Coughing out and losing the rebreather from force, you were shoved to the surface and then dragged up on land as you continued to cough.

Donnie squeaked up a storm and you swatted him away.

“Why’d you do that?!” You turned on him only to freeze when you saw how much distress painted him.

He silenced and his black orbs almost looked like they might shed tears.

He was scared.

He must have thought you drowned.

He didn’t understand how the rebreather worked.

How could he?

You tackled him in a hug and chirped as many apologies as you could muster.

He returned a few and curled around you clearly blocking you from the water.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” You repeated and petted his carapace. “I’m sorry, but look… I need…”

Turning, you saw your rebreather floating on the water.

“Donnie.” You lifted his head so he’d look at you.

He blinked at you in a withered state.

“Can you get that?” You pointed towards the object.

When he didn’t look, you pushed his chin until he finally relented.

“That. Get that.”

He took a little unsteady breath before he got up. Very aware of you, he watched you nervously with little flicks of his pupil toward the pond.

“I’ll stay right here.” You nodded down and shifted your ass to show you were staying put.

Though he couldn’t glean the meaning, he searched you for a long moment before chancing it. He darted away as fast as he could, diving only in the water long enough to grab the piece before returning to you with a latent spray. You rubbed some off your face before taking the rebreather to show him.

“I can breathe with this.” You poured out the pond water and wiped the mouthpiece the best you could before putting it on.

You hummed for him to look and he did with a dart of his head.

It was a bird-like concern and you exaggerated breathing through it. A wheezy noise came out of its use on dry land and had Donnie bristling. You nodded your head so he could tell you were fine and he only relented with an anxious chirp.

Taking the item out of your mouth, you looked at him. You knew he liked swimming, but not once had he tried to get you to join him. He often slipped away to do it while you were otherwise occupied. It was both a testament to how settled he was and how the entire dome felt like his own secured space. It also made it seem like being in the water was his own version of self-care.

Donnie’s thigh was close to yours and a drip of water streaked from your leg to his. It reminded you of the many watery moments you’d shared from rain to showers. Actual memories giving way to seen ones, your next thought was a video of two softshells spinning around each other underwater.

You wanted to do that.

You already satisfied his instinct, but you wanted to do it to the fullest.

You only had to convince him, which was annoying, but not impossible. Brushing some errant droplets away, you placed the rebreather between your teeth before nodding to the water. Donnie immediately stiffened as a barrier and you sent him a honeyed look since you couldn’t properly verbalize. He watched on, ready to stop you and you only brushed your hands over his arms.

Flexing muscles rippled under the dotted moisture and he relaxed a certain amount. You’d been angrily separated for about a day, but your supposed brush with death had made him forget those concerns. His primary directive was your safety and you curled closer to him. He gave a faint churr and the dip of his lids said he missed this. Carefully resting your forehead to his cheek, he chirped a few sweet sounds among the rolling vibration and you settled your weight against him.

You were mostly dry by the time you moved again. Muscles loose from lounging in the sun, you slid the putty of your body towards the water. Donnie’s hackles rose a little too slowly, but you squeezed his hand for reassurance. He didn’t exactly hold it back, but his fingers twitched as you got your toes in the water. You paused there, flicking droplets with foot flexes and looked back at him with metered excitement.

It took him a while to think, but he eventually broke apart from you to slip into the water. He then floated, his eyes and carapace visible just far enough off shore where he could fit. You were slow in shuffling down, pressing against leaf blades and mud until your waist was submerged. He kicked off and his arms barred around you to lift himself out of the water. You touched the rebreather to the tip of his beak and he gave a faint churr at the reassurance.

Taking it as a go ahead, you pushed off a bit more, where he hovered around you like a hungry shark. You got off the bank and pumped your arms in an obvious show that you could swim. Donnie continued to circle, first out of concern until each rounding seemed to change. More fluid motions, you saw hints of the dance he’d attempted in your apartment once and it took you counting as if readying yourself to jump into a skipping rope before you kicked off to swim with him.

Clunky in comparison, he didn’t seem to fault you where you couldn’t keep up and instead swam to match you. You felt bad you couldn’t compare to his elegance, but the excitement of the moment wrinkled your gaze. Heart leaping, you chanced darting towards him. He first playfully dodged you as he examined your swimming strength before he too took his time breaking the circling to chance brushing you. All coy flipper flaps, they were questions answered by the dance. Instinct took your boyfriend in a dive and you sucked in a final breath through your nose before pursuing.

His eyes shifted to an uncharacteristic white from the nictitating membrane and he immediately broke his rounding to examine you. You waved at him to show you had your facilities and he pressed his beak to various spots of your body to assure himself you were safe. He then came around to your face to send his confusion there and you tapped the rebreather in hopes he would understand that it was the thing giving you the ability to breathe.

Though there was no pupil to tell for sure, you saw him study the way the bubbles would emerge from it and he was satisfied even if the mechanics were lost on him. Doing your best to stay submerged, you kicked lightly against one of his thighs to give yourself momentum and he gave immediate chase to twirl around you with ease. You watched the sun’s rays shine off of his scales as he twisted and the whole of him was so stunning you felt like time slowed.

In a quick spin, he spiraled the water and a little current twirled you around him. He seemed to similarly be enjoying the view because he stilled momentarily before he came into you with purpose. Finally catching your body, he held loosely to your hips and you reached between you to grab his cock sleeve. With learned ease, you undid the latch and pulled it enough away that it’d float to the top. Some sort of mechanism Donnie had installed, you both watched the object fly to the yellow tinted sky before you came together.

Donnie had some swipes and bobs to him as he cascaded around you and tugged you to the bottom. Not deep enough for the pressure to really shift, you still had a bit of anxiety and snuck a glance up to see how far you’d have to swim if something were to happen to the rebreather. Donnie nuzzled between your shoulder blades as you did and you read the move as soothing. His palms slid up and down your arms as if testing and he soon settled himself behind you for what you’d seen to be the preferred positioning.

Preparing yourself, you knew he’d bite you to hold you in place. His beak skimmed up from your back towards your mating mark and you arched into him to show you were ready. He only brushed the spot before nuzzling into the side of your face and you felt a sort of heated confusion as his cockhead bobbed eager against your ass. The water filled your ears for a near soundless churning and you could only look at your partner confused.

He held a knowledgeable air as if this were his field of expertise and he disappeared from your line of vision. Still behind you, you felt him cascade down your arms with tiny pumps of his body to keep you both submerged and in place. Now at the pond’s floor, it kicked up some silt and you closed your eyes to save them. It enhanced his little touches and he trended toward your sides. He then gripped hard which you took as a signal of readiness and he trended his glans down your ass crack to what lay beneath.

You flexed your thighs in a tease and he wasn’t the least bit perturbed to stroke himself with those as opposed to your sex. He pumped a few lazy times where his glans breathed life between your legs. Your body heat coaxed them to spread, but the moment he pushed through to the other side, the cold water caused them to recede and you chanced looking down to see it. It came with stinging around the murky water, but you watched the gabbing nature of his spade shaped head flex.

It had you spreading on a backstroke where you let your eyes closed in time with him lining himself up. He swiped heavy, dragging his awaiting glans over the full of your slit before he pushed to find your entrance. It split for him ready with the water and titillating excitement of doing the deed underwater and you felt him press in at an achingly slow pace.

Unlike his usual rutting self, you squirmed at the fill and it almost seemed like he wanted to take his time in setting his spread glans. All to lock you best, he eventually settled himself deep inside and you thought you could almost feel the stretched prongs of his glans catch your pulsing walls. They’d hold you tight and ensure you’d be bred and you whine heavily into your rebreather.

It resulted in bubbles tickling your cheek and you felt some motion. That meant you couldn’t open your eyes and you were lowered until the soft mud at the bottom claimed your torso. Supple, it clung to your pointed nipples as Donnie settled above in his mount. He was using the whole of him to keep your body in place and with a few little kicks to make sure his cock was as deep as it would go, he stilled.

You waited.

You waited for a thrust.

You waited for a push.

You waited for any movement at all.

Instead he held his position firm.

You could almost feel the disturbed muck particles settle around you and there was something odd about the buoyancy. Donnie didn’t need to fight it for however his body was made up and only you had a metered weightlessness in comparison. He had you caged in place, with his plastron poured over your back and his arms holding your waist tight along with his cock. A decorated aquarium, you were the free floating plant whose roots were woven into the bespeckled rocks.

Then you felt a slow gurgle of heat.

Something like the trickle of a tapped spring, there was no eager rush but instead the tap had been turned on low. Your cunt clenched near the source and it took you a few seconds too long to realize it was his cum. A little more than the anticipatory leak, it reminded you of the way he held you down. A relaxed pace was set and it poured an even stream. He wasn’t desperate to dump as much into you as fast as possible as if you’d escape.

The implications struck you.

You weren’t just held in place, you were stuck.

There was no exact reason for it, but something about the persistent, but slow fill made you believe he was going to hold you here for however long he was able.

In any of your studies, had you ever looked into how long underwater mating took place?

You couldn’t remember it.

All the articles had been so clinical.

Parks service notes or wildlife examinations weren’t some kind of porno.

Donnie hadn’t stopped ejaculating.

You were already submerged, but something about the whole thing made you feel as though you were trapped in a small room rapidly filling with water.

You squirmed the slightest amount and it proved to be the only wrong action because Donnie’s teeth warned at your shoulder.

Your heart thumped loud in your packed ears.

This was different than marking possession.

He hadn’t bitten you because he hadn’t felt the need.

You hadn’t fought back so he hadn’t felt compelled to hold you in place more than necessary.

You were stuck and couldn’t move.

Fear lighting up receptors in your brain and body, you shuddered ever so slightly and Donnie only boxed you more in as if you were cold.

You wanted to whine.

More bubbles appeared from your mask as your breathing picked up.

Cum continued to pour in.

No, pour was too fast.

Trickle was too slow.

Labeling it felt like palming metaphorical prison walls. You were looking for the escape hatch or even a barred window to shove your face into for a single breath of fresh air. It would stave off your eventual drowning. This was a puzzle. You only needed to find the key out. You were stuck in an escape room, except the means to succeed felt like fertilization.

Your cunt pulsed at the thought and you could feel Donnie’s churr more than hear it through the water.

Stuck for what felt like a long haul, your eyes cracked open to find the dust had actually settled. You were topped at the bottom of a pond and the weight of the water was a caressing one. An odd partner to Donnie’s heat, it was the good cop that told you niceties as Donnie’s cock threatened otherwise. Tossed out praises of plump stomachs and waddling walks were contrasted by a nine month sentence and you wanted to sob.

You’d asked for this.

You initiated underwater sex.

It wasn’t anything like you imagined.

The flow continued.

Even and determined, you felt it fill your baby room and then inflate against his cock. The other fat intruder in your space, it felt no need to breathe and welcomed the suffocation. It held as a tight seal and presumably the feeling of his own body-warmed spunk caused Donnie to readjust.

A barely there press of his hips, he made sure he had you sealed up the best he could without his knot.

It was his spread holding him fully and nothing could wrench it from you.

With no off switch, the dump persisted.

It grew like a lead weight inside you and you eventually felt as though it was the thing holding you down. Pressure mounting by the second, your other organs felt like they were being shoved out of the way and you desperately wished you could pant. Losing sanity for no exact reason, you dug your teeth hard into the rubber seal of your rebreather. Both to keep it in place and to keep yourself from lashing out, you clawed your nails into the ground where they were free.

Donnie adjusted again and movement felt like steam escaping a pressure cooker.

Sperm would have floated thick from where it was desperate to escape.

He then clogged the leak and relaxed to keep forcing more into you.

You spasmed.

Not involuntary, but because you thought you might burst, Donnie immediately made good on his biting promise.

It came directly to your mating mark and it took the very last of your brain cells to keep from screaming the rebreather right out of your mouth. You were doomed to pop like a water balloon and your tears felt hot against the cool water.

It was everywhere.

All consuming.

Either water or cum.

With no end trying to invade you.

You imagined white particulates flowing from out the cracks of your nose.

The empty shell of your body bloated and sperm would emerge wherever it could.

Delirious and hot, you wondered why the you of just two days ago, wanted this.

Why had you recreated the point of fertilization over and over?

Why had you obsessed over sperm and egg?

It was too much.

It also hadn’t stopped.

It couldn’t have.

Not with the way you felt.

Not with all the heaviness of your hips.

Not with the way your body squashed like a seal against the slimy sea floor.

Your consciousness slipped.

Not passing out, but feeling as though you floated away from your body, you saw yourself mounted.

You saw the humanoid version of two softshells doing what nature compelled them.

They were settled and one would come away to grow the clutch.

You’d lay eggs near the shore where you’d dig into the same soft kind of soil you were currently buried.

Your hatchlings would fight free and you’d watch on, unable to help because that’s what instinct dictated.

They needed to fend for themselves.

Strong genes.

They’d survive.

You saw both the future and the current scene.

An odd diorama, the time now seemed as stuck as you.

The only darts were fish far away, only now brave enough now that the predator had settled.

There was also a sparkle of sunlight.

It was beautiful in a way.

It just never seemed to end.

The future tapered off, washed out by the water.

You didn’t know how much time had actually passed, but it seemed like an eternity until Donnie animated.

It slammed you right back into your body where you struggled as soon as he released you. In a flash, water rushed around you like a geyser and you erupted onto the bank. Spitting out the rebreather, You gasped, starving, on fresh air and couldn’t manage to get off your dense belly. Elbows sinking into the wet shore, you coughed for the sake of it and only felt a dribble ooze between your legs.

You imagined that would be as endless as whatever you endured.

Numb and weak, you gave up clawing to collapse.

Cheek in mud you’d kicked up, the biodome was blissfully unaware to your plight and continued on as a luxurious space.

Something scalding splashed your lower back.

First a jolt to your oddly taxed body, it melted muscles that had been stationary until you put together what it was.

As much as he designated his turtle status, he’d still spoken of marking once.

Fulfilling one feral instinct must have bred another.

He peed out a surprising amount considering he hadn’t taken a drink, but you also hadn’t seen him use the restroom since his heat started. Stuck on what seemed like a conundrum, you could think of how that’d make it especially potent. Other than touch, little more came to your dulled senses and you almost enjoyed the heat of it. Unlike the one that had scorched the earth of your interior, this one mimicked hot stones that your battered body almost needed.

Flowing along your spine, it pooled warmth in the dip in the lowest part of your back. Stopped by your butt, it trailed to the sides where it dripped off. Not clingy, the cascade then disappeared and you supposed there was a certain level of intimacy to this. Something about sharing fluids and then the larger idea of marking that appealed to Donnie made sense.

The stream stopped and you could almost see Donnie lost with the whites still consuming his eyes from dark urges.

He then appeared to prove you wrong and you only stared at him with a murky gaze. He dipped his beak down to nudge you. You made some sort of sound and it must have been a worrisome one. You also hadn’t moved which was probably troubling for him. He was gentle in pulling you further up the bank.

The drag made you feel like you were trailing white slime.

You were a slug and the sun was just as intrusive as your partner.

They’d meant to eradicate you so you curled up into yourself and eventually something came overtop you.

It made no sense as to what, but the harsh light was offset so you gave up your last will and succumbed to sleep.

You never really dreamed during Donnie’s heat.

It was the first thought that occurred to you as you surfaced.

It felt like an ambiguous revelation and you groped for more.

It only resulted in grass between your fingers and a brush of fabric overtop.

That wasn’t your nest’s make-up.

Your eyes were open then and you saw white cotton dyed with orange.

It took you a few more seconds to blink off exhaustion and pull down the sheet that had been thrown over your body. The dome’s lattice sat dutifully overhead, but the sun was no longer glaring you down. It was gone somewhere, walking its usual trip across the sky and ready to clock out.

You never had asked Donnie if anyone in the upper floors could see down in here.

It seemed like a moot point as you’d already been naked for days, but you still wondered.

With an ache, you sat up from sleeping on the hard ground and felt your abdomen pulse.

Reaching down and pressing a hand to the usual curve of it, it didn’t seem out of sorts, but the memories of what had transpired underwater rushed you.

You then snapped side to side where you found Donnie awake, laying beside you, and patiently monitoring.

You tackled him onto his carapace and shouted in his face, “What was that?!”

He peeped, unsure.

“That was so much!” You released him and hovered over top. “Too much cum!”

His head lifted to watch you closely.

“Where do you keep it all?” You felt crazed and fell onto your hip beside him.

Freed, he perked further up and his gaze roved as he examined you.

You caught his chin and tipped him up to kiss him. His muscles went slack against you and you had to chase him back down to the ground. You felt a similar toll on him and gave up making sense of it all. Donnie was his own kind of being and, while you could make educated guesses, he couldn’t be so easily compared.

You pressed with purpose, trying to siphon a response from him where he could not. He allowed it and stunted churrs broke as he lost oxygen during each kiss. It caused him to pant against you where you swallowed up his sounds with a dip of your tongue. Siphoning off this life force in contrast to the one he’d forced into you, you wound your tongue around his with desperation.

Each time you came up he squeaked and gasped against the supposed suffocation. “You literally spent hours fucking me underwater. Don’t pretend like you can’t breathe.”

You scolded him with your tongue and teeth and he met you with as much open mouth enthusiasm as he could muster. However the act was conveyed to him, he clearly found it a pleasurable one and you were moving farther onto his plastron to get the necessary height. He then chased you on one of your head lifting retreats and you berated him by crushing him down into the grass.

He churred needy, but you made out at most, until he began to chirp deliriously.

Only then did you finally throw a leg over his torso.

The sides of his plastron nipped your thighs and he nervously palmed your hips to push you down where he needed you.

Biting down on his tongue for a hard suck, he gave a sharp mating call and finally you slid far enough back.

You bumped each other in a grab to unlatch the sleeve.

Once freed it was a quick lift and drop before his cock was buried into you.

Muscles battered, you wilted slightly and he lifted up to bend and chase your lips.

You caught his head the best you could to drink him in and upon the next slide of your tongue against his, he came hard and fast.

Moaning into his mouth, your eyes rolled back. “How-!?”

He ground you down onto him and shoved his mouth open against yours.

“-does-?” A press stole your words and you kissed him the best you could under his insistence. “-this turn you on? You don’t even get it-!”

He refused to let you have more and you toppled over where he began to roll his hips straight through his orgasm.

He was perfectly positioned and the ache of having never cum crushed you with a million times more force than the pond ever had. “Oh, fuck! Donnie!”

Another mating call for your excitement, you found your arms and encircled him to hold on.

He readjusted himself for an even better connection and you cried out his name again and again as targeted pleasure wound.

With a slight nudge to your cheek, you turned into him and he kissed you.

While nothing had, you felt like everything stopped.

You then watched as Donnie pulled his head back to look you over with a semi-focused gaze. “G-good…”

“D-Donnie?!”

For however he was there, he also wasn’t and curled closer to you. “Mm, feels good, love.”

“Donnie!” You pulled him into another kiss and he gave it with practiced ease.

He mewled a little to reluctantly part. “You… okay?”

“Good, so good! Is it… is your heat almost over…? It hasn’t been long at all!” You sent your attention downward and didn’t feel the thick of his knot.

“Hmm?” He drew out the hum and dipped his arms to hike your legs up.

It sent him to even more of your favorite spots and you babbled how much you missed it.

“Good mate.” He groaned, feeling you squeeze him. “A-Amazing.”

“I-“ Your voice bobbed with your body. “-don’t-” You felt your chest bounce. “-understand!”

“Gonna cum for me…?” He slurred affection.

“M-missed you!” You tried to find a better hold on him as your orgasm loomed close. “I missed you! I missed you!”

“Missed…” The word struck him odd and his hips didn’t stop, but his brow ridge creased. “M-mating…season…?”

“Yes!” You sobbed in pleasure and response.

“Are you…?” He seemed to look you over with the most comprehension yet.

“Good! Incredible! We’re good! So, so good! It’s been the best!!” You were so close you felt your neurons misfiring on your tongue.

“My heart…” With a final hoist of your legs, he plowed your g-spot and you came hard.

It wrung your mind out and the dripping wet juices came down in your vision as cerebral stardust.

“Love you!” He shouted through the void.

“L-love!!” You drooled and felt him grunt with his own orgasm.

No knot.

All you could think was his knot hadn’t expanded.

What did come down was the drawbridge of his body.

Moat accessible, you were still cozy in the castle and panted after what felt like a triathlon.

The rush of your own blood ringing in your ears, the weight of your mate became too much and you gave a wobbly push with your arms against his.

He gave a broken chirp and abated some of his weight where he didn’t seem able to fully retreat.

“Do-nnie…!”

He chirped again and nosed close to you.

You tilted your head to find darkened eyes staring back. “Don…?”

His lids closed as if he hadn’t heard you.

He’d surfaced for only a moment, a dull thought came.

You had no idea why, but he’d momentarily come to.

What a nice surprise.

In and out of attention, you were eventually carried back to the nest. Placed with as much care as incoordination could afford, you curled up against a pillow. Donnie kicked up some things for the sake of it and eventually settled down beside you with a few exhausted cheeps.

You mostly slept until a few hours before your call with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.

Scheduled for noon day five, you had a lot of cleaning up to do when you woke. There was the fact that you’d tracked half the pond’s mud into your otherwise pristine nest. Donnie had a minor fit over you tossing brown stained sheets, but settled when you brought in the new ones that he had scented prior for this instance. You were barely able to keep him from mucking those up and somehow got him to rinse off in the outdoor shower.

With him mostly clean, he scampered off where his mind demanded he fix his nest and you took your turn. Actually washing yourself in contrast to your mate, you found the tenderness where he’d bitten your shoulder the day before. It was sadly left subjected to its environment so you scrubbed as best you could and hoped those antibiotics worked amongst the pond scum. Refreshed, you hung a towel over your head and air dried while you downed water like you hadn’t had one in days and ate with a sudden starvation that you hadn’t known was percolating.

Donnie’s season was something else and you were perched on a pillow right at the edge of the nest when you dialed your phone.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. picked up after one ring. “Good news!?”

You leaned away from his volume. “Hey, Shelly.”

“Y/N!”

“What do you even mean by that?” You chuckled and toed at where Donnie was laid out by your feet.

Your mate looked at you with a sleepy expression from all his hard nest work.

“I mean…!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. started and stopped. “I mean I guess you did call me exactly on time so that’s a good sign.”

“It’s going good?” You clarified.

“Yeah?”

“Yup, everything accounted for minus Donnie killing a fish and trying to give it to me like a cat and a whole underwater fiasco.”

“Did he Black Lagoon you?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. fussed.

“No, no. It was a totally different thing you’ll think is gross, that we didn’t guess.”

“Oh huh…” Your son hummed.

“But food’s good. Water’s good. All supplies, yeah. I could crush some fast food, but that’s just like the ‘please feed me carbs’ side of my body from all the working out.”

“Hm, hm.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave a scholarly hum.

“It’s good.”

“You sound happy.” He softened on the line.

“I am… Donnie… kind of… surfaced? Yesterday. It’s hard to explain, but he spoke and was present for a few minutes.”

“Weird!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. stretched the word out.

“Yeah. Now he’s back to being his old feral heat self though.” You finally reached him in a stretch and he gave a faint chirp as you tapped his arm.

“Gotcha! Well… I don’t want any details so as long as you both are happy…!”

You laughed. “Thank you for worrying.”

“Yup! Always!”

“We’re still having our Donnie-free weekend after this?”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. revved so loud you could hear it. “Yes! You owe me!! Sleep over at my house!!!”

“I do. After the hospital and the whole you not being able to come over because Leo is terrified of you.”

“He cried like a baby!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. sang. “He’s so funny.”

“Shelly!” You pretended to scold. “Stop! He was a broken man!”

“Broken man scared of a kid like half his age!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. cackled.

You booed him.

Coming down from clucks, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. sighed. “Yeah, well. He’s fine now so whatever! Anyway, we’re gonna have so much fun! Play all the video games! Make up for lost time!”

“Why do I feel like by lost time you mean all the way back to when you weren’t ever a baby.”

“Okay, I may have one or two story books…”

“My wicked son.”

“My patient mother!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. cooed back.

You chuckled.

“Plus, isn’t it practice?”

“Hopefully not anytime soon.” You tapped Donnie again and this time his lids stayed shut.

“Yeah, but still.”

“Nah. You aren’t practice. You’re my first.”

The quiet ticked on for so long that you pulled your phone away to make sure the call was still connected.

“Shelly?”

“I-I-I-!” He blubbered.

You weren’t sure if that was good or bad. “You okay? I’m sorry if I said something wrong…”

“No!” He hiccupped and snorted as if he had a congested nose.

You made a sad, unsure sound.

Donnie’s head came up.

“No, no!” You heard a clink of metal and imagined S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was wiping his face. “I’m not upset! I guess… I guess I just always thought… I mean our family thing has always been a joke so… Is calling you ‘mom’ insensitive? What am I-!?”

“It’s not a joke!”

He quieted.

“It was… Obviously, it was at first, but Shelly, you are my son. I don’t care. I’ll sign the adoption papers even though you’re an adult. If anything were ever to happen to Donnie and me…” You stared hard at Donnie who’d come closer as the conversation turned. “Even if we stopped dating, you’d still be my son. Even if you moved on, I think I’d always think of you that way.”

There was another bout of silence and you felt anxious.

Donnie rested his chin against your thigh.

You pet him reassuringly.

“I-I’m so-sorry…!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. eventually choked out.

“No, I am. I’m upsetting you and I can’t be there to-!”

“No!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. screamed off the speaker before he returned. “No! All these ‘no’s haven’t been complaints! I don’t know how to process this! I’m saying stop being sorry! I’m overwhelmed! These emotions are confusing and new!!”

“O-oh…”

“Yeah!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. came down with a huff of air though none of it translated on the receiver. “I love it. I love you. I’m just… you know, experiencing familial emotions for the first time in my life and freaking out a little!”

“Ah!”

“Yeah!”

“I want to apologize again!”

“Don’t!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. sighed. “It’s good… Ugh I feel weird though. I like, want to run around, but I also don’t so it’s all… ew!”

“Gross human feelings.” You chastised. “Like love!”

“Yeah.”

“Welcome to… being a child? Or having a family? Which sounds better?”

“Both?” He seemed just as unsure.

“You going to be alright?”

“Yes!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. scoffed. “It’s a happy thing! Just weird! New weird!”

You smiled. “Okay, okay. Text me if you need anything.”

“That should be my thing! Stop! Subverting our cool new official roles!”

“You’re not some caregiver!”

“Blah blah blah!! No more emotions thank you! I’m hanging up! Love you! Bye!”

“Love you too! Bye-!”

He hung up.

You pulled the phone away and laughed as it timed out.

Donnie chirped curiously beside you.

“Our son is so much like us and not.” You tucked the phone away and then scooped up your mate’s face. “That’s being parents, I guess.”

Donnie churred a little even though his face said he was confused.

You kissed the tip of his nose. “Look at you. You weren’t threatened by the phone call at all. You’re so comfortable now! You don’t even get jealous of Shelly anymore!” Throwing your weight, you bowled him over.

He fell with you, chirping happily in the sheets.

“I’m proud of you. Proud to be with you.” You told him as you came down.

He leaned forward obviously ready to receive a kiss.

“I’d be more proud if you could figure out something simple like kissing back!” You shook your head and gave him one anyway.

He gave a mating call against your lips and you returned it into his face. You moved to wrestle him and he was in just the right mood for it. Tumbling, there was a distinct lack of sexual drive to it and he only gave into being playful with you. You giggled all the while and he eventually collapsed back to let you win which you nipped at him for. He clicked a protest, but it devolved into happy chirps as you threw a pillow over his face.

You lasted a few hours until you made love again and it felt like a whole affair. Intimate and careful, there were contrasts amongst the drive. You weren’t sure if the last time had been such a blur or if this was the true norm, but you cherished every second. You got to watch the deep satisfaction pass over your mate’s face during his release and you etched it into your mind. The whole of him was yours and you cradled him close long after he’d given up chirping curiously at your subdued change.

When you awoke late that night, you were buried in a divot that had both of you pressed flush. With a bit of sheet pulled up to protect you from his pectoral scutes, you were otherwise tucked in together and you looked up at his sleep slack face. Feeling then specifically how connected you were, you nudged him lightly if only for him to see it as well.

He roused first with a few concerns, then surveying your happy mood brought sugary churrs. You kissed into his cheek lazily and pressed close to him. In a thump, you sensed your hearts beating together and you knew this would carry far beyond when Donnie’s season ended. Like last time, he’d known you’d drawn closer, but this time he would understand why. He’d know as soon as he saw you consciously that any separation that had still been lingering was eradicated. There was no longer some distinction between him and this supposed other persona. You were all his on all levels and nothing more would pull you apart.

💜NEXT💜

Never enough love for all that my betas put up with @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

#weakspotfic #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #donatello hamato #donnie x reader #rise donnie #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #me #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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