#necromancer garris

[tarnishedinquirer]

Beneath Stormveil

Here the damage seemed the worst. In places, the walls were red and raw, almost as if they were bleeding. I continued down and reached a room with a very interesting painting.

It was Stormhill, before Stormveil Castle was ever built. The world looked so much wilder and more vibrant back then. The colors were deep blacks and rich greens, not the washed-out greys and pale greens of current Limgrave. The place that would once become the Chapel of Anticipation was part of the mainland, separated by a waterfall rather than a chasm. There's no trace of the black stone pillars that underlay the entire land. The Stormfoot Catacombs are open, with no door. And, while something was gleaming gold, it sure didn't look like the Erdtree.

Yet the Divine Tower and bridge were already there, and already so ancient the bridge had started to crumble. Curious.

After examining the painting as much as I could, I unlocked the door back to the Site of Grace and continued downward.

This was by far the oldest and most neglected portion of the castle. It's unlikely it would get any light except at high noon. The only creatures down here were vermin. Giant bats and rats, the scavengers and dwellers in the dark.

Now that I was down here, it became clear that this was a dumping ground for the castle above. Specifically, it seemed that all the statues removed in the various ideological purges were just shoved into the abyss.

There's the expected statues of women holding ewers or missing their hands, but there's a few statues that stand out to me. They're almost completely buried, so possibly the oldest statues ever dumped down here, and depict hooded figures either holding a book or holding a dagger. Unfortunately, I don't have any context to interpret them. Maybe I'll find some more later.

A scarab almost misses my notice, were it not for the sound they make. I track it down and it's carrying an unusual Sorcery called Rancorcall.

I say it's unusual because using it would require almost as much faith as intellect. That unnerved me a little. Sorcery is supposed to be the result of consistent, observable phenomenon. Concrete things that may be more difficult to observe and comprehend, but are ultimately just as real as a sword. To apply your intellect to the task of how best to surrender it to a higher power seemed perverse to me.

The voice said:

Sorcery of the servants of Death. Summons vengeful spirits that chase down foes. Once though lost, this ancient death hex was rediscovered by the necromancer Garris.

Going on my theory that scarabs only appear where abilities like ashes of war, sorceries, or incantations are used, and somehow they gather up some invisible residue to make their spheres, I would suspect that Garris must've been here at some point. Perhaps this is where he even developed his techniques? I doubt he's still here.

To draw a connection, I found the Rancor Pot recipe in the Tombsward Catacombs. It has a similar effect of summoning vengeful spirits, though different methods. Am I to assume Garris might also have been there? That might explain how Deathroot got inside...

Now I came to a cliff overlooking a root-choked and damp chamber below. Bones littered the floor. Some were stacked up in drifts, but there were also complete skeletons resting in what looked like old, rotted canoes. Perhaps a vestige of some water burial in the past? At one time, they might have sent the dead over the waterfall that once ran through here. Once that dried up, they instead just buried the dead in their canoes.

But what interested me most was the grand baldachin, now rotted and torn, draped across the chamber beyond. Something important must be there.

Before I could approach, a terrible creature burst out of the ground. I'd seen its ilk once before, in the Fringefolk Hero's Grave. An Ulcerated Tree Spirit, a great writhing snake-root, like a serpentine mandrake. Even as I knew its movements, it was still so erratic that it was hard to predict at times. As it slammed me against the walls, I knew now where the drifts of bones had come from.

Once I had slain the beast. I was free to recover its treasures, both here and in the chamber beyond. Much like the last, it dropped a Golden Seed.

As for the chamber... I can scarcely describe it. I'll try to sketch it but I don't think I can do justice to the sheer presence of this thing. Despite looking like a stone carving, I knew on an instinctual level that it was alive.

It was a face, or approximation thereof. Yet it could not have been more inhuman. It at once looked floral, fungal, and animal. The lower half of the face was like an oyster mushroom, and from there emerged thick tendrils like thorny vines. The upper half had a disturbingly human nose but two oddly angled eyes, or at least eye sockets. The lids themselves were empty.

The whole thing burst through the stone wall on a thick body like a salamander, though if it had arms, they had not emerged from the wall. And its was very clearly a violent entry, with rubble piled up around it. Nearby, there was a bloodstain, and a corpse holding an item in its hands.

Oh hell. The bloodstain was Rogier. If he can't see Grace anymore, then can he even come back? Is he just dead for real now? I couldn't even see what got him but it looked bad. It lifted him up and seemed to impale him from multiple angles. I hope he's okay. I actually kinda like the guy. It was rare to talk to someone both intellectual and down to earth like that.

The corpse had a... Prince of Death's Pustule?!

A fetid pustule taken from facial flesh. It is said that this pustule came from the visage of the Prince of Death, he who used to be called Godwyn. As First Dead of the demigods, it's said he's buried deep under the capital, at the Erdtree's roots.

It is said, it is said, it is said. I hate it when the Voice uses weasel words. Who says?

If Godwyn was the first to die, then it is his death that created the Deathroot. Deathroot sprouts similar faces to the one on this pustule. The same milky white eyes, the same thorny tendrils... There was a couple things that puzzled me. I noted fish fins on the Deathroot growing in various catacombs and Summonwater Village. Despite its aquatic appearance, this face held no trace of such details, resembling an amphibian more than a fish. Second, while the Deathroot and Pustule share the milky white eyes, this visage does not. Instead, its sockets are empty.

Third, if we take the voice at face value and say that Godwyn actually is buried under the capital... why did this face burst out of the southeast wall? The capital is to the northeast. I can buy the Greattree roots spreading throughout the Lands Between, but I'd still expect such a creature to burrow through from the correct direction. The only things off that direction are the Stormfoot Catacombs and the Fringefolk Hero's Grave. And since the painting confirms that at least one of those was here before the castle, I find myself doubting if this is even Godwyn at all, or some other, forgotten Prince of Death.

I'll review my notes about those places and see if I can gain any insight, but arbitrary skepticism doesn't do any good. I have to assume that this is Godwyn, or at least an aspect of him, until strong evidence presents itself otherwise.

Still, to quote the only cleric I ever got on with, "Doubting is what I do."

With my investigation concluded, the only way to go was up. Thankfully there was a conveniently placed, if alarmingly tall, rope ladder. I began what was sure to be a very long ascent.

I had at last gotten answers on the rot infecting Stormveil, but they only left me with more questions.

Who are the dagger and book statues? Why were they purged?

If Godfrey built the earliest Stormveil, who built the tower and bridge?

Is that face Godwyn? If not, who could it possibly be?

If it is Godwyn, why would it come from the wrong direction?

Why does this face look so different from the other faces? Why is it missing its eyes?

Who is Garris? What was he doing beneath Stormveil?

What happened to Rogier?

Why was he looking for this?

#elden ring #elden ring lore #in character #in character blog #in character post #let's play #godwyn #godwyn the golden #godwyn the prince of death #stormveil #necromancer garris #death sorcery #sorcerer rogier #briars of sin #deathroot #night of black knives #rune of death

[bri-the-nautilus]

Hi there! I saw your reply to that ask about Malenia being a milf, really enjoyed reading it all (it was all just right!). Especially a passage on Gowry. Do you have more detailed headcanons/theories on him? Can you share them?

It's just that he plays an important role in my own postcanon story, being sort of a rematching villain. So I'm always open on any info on him and the Rot in general, even others' headcanons. Do you think there could be other humans worshipping the Rot? (not just kindreds/pests).

I meself stick to the theory of him being a Carian sorcerer who's studied the Rot and went too far (then even farther to turn back).

Thank you!

(editing this in at the end. This got LONG. I dug up so much stuff as I was compiling my thoughts, and this post took quite a turn. Thanks for getting me thinking, and I apologize for how ungodly long this post is. This was fun!)

Gowry is an interesting one. He doesn't talk much about himself, and his adopted daughters don't really like to talk about him either for obvious reasons. And as far as sane residents of Caelid to converse with go, it's really just him and the girls, a few merchants, Maliketh, and Jerren. Not exactly a wealth of lore.

Let's start with his armor set. Gowry wears the Sage Set, which can be found in Liurnia's Stillwater Cave. It's worth noting that this cave is home to several Rot-themed enemies, including mushroom priests and a Cleanrot Knight. From the description of the Sage Armor:

Thick burgundy robe. Attire of the wise sages who were deemed heretical. Evidence that the wearer was driven from town.

This is interesting. It's also worth noting that Gowry isn't the only character who wears this armor. Necromancer Garris, the boss of the Sage's Cave, also wears pieces of the set. Their faces are also quite similar. There could be a connection here, but we're getting sidetracked.

So the Sages were driven from a town. The question is, which town? The answer is of course Sellia, Town of Sorcery. Gowry lives just outside the city walls. For confirmation, we need only look at his inventory. Gowry sells Night Shard and Nightmaiden's Mist, whose descriptions both say that they were invented in Sellia. The third spell he sells is Glintstone Stars, which is a Raya Lucaria sorcery, but its description also says that it's a spell of the Olivinus Conspectus, "which attracts sorcerers from Sellia."

So Gowry lived in Sellia as a sage, where he learned the town's signature brand of magic. Then he was kicked out for heresy, per the Sage Armor's description. The next question we have to ask is, what heresy did he commit? Let's take a step back and examine Liurnian orthodoxy. Astrological worship is the basis for all of Liurnia's science and religion. The Academy worships the stars, while the House of Caria and Lazuli Conspectus worship the moon as well. The description of the Lazuli Robe calls this star-moon worship heresy. I don't think what Gowry did was heresy in the Liurnian sense of the word, however. Sellia is a town descended from the Nox and heavily associated with the Olivinus Conspectus. The Nox were star worshippers, and the Olivinus are an orthodox Conspectus with a focus on meteors. If Gowry grew up here, the odds of him converting to moon worship are slim.

Rot worship is a possibility. The only real evidence of pre-Shattering Rot worship is House Marais, who clandestinely worshipped the Outer God of Rot in their castle. The Haligtree venerated Malenia, but didn't worship the Rot because Malenia herself suffered at its hands and would like nothing more than to be rid of it. Rot worship doesn't go mainstream until after Aeonia when an entire civilization of shrimp cultists crawls out of the nuclear swamp and decides Malenia is their goddess. So while Gowry worshipping the Scarlet Rot in prewar Sellia would be kind of heretical, it would also be a really weird thing for anyone to be into given the time and place. Also, notice that the Rot is only ever worshipped by people actively suffering from it. "The sons of House Marais are all sickly born" (probably because they decided to build on top of a poison swamp), and the mushroom priests and shrimpbros speak for themselves. It would be very odd indeed for a healthy Sellian man in a lush, unblighted Caelid to suddenly say "hey screw the stars, we worship super skin necrosis now." You know what I think he did?

Necromancy.

Oh yeah, you thought we were done with Gary.

So let's talk about our friend Necromancer Garris for a second. While it's not in his name like it is for Gowry, Garris is almost definitely a Sellian sage. He looks like Gowry, he wears the requisite robes, and the cave where he lives is called the "Sage's Cave." Unless the Black Knife lurking nearby has some scholarly qualifications we don't know about, the Sage in question has to be Garris. Now what exactly is his deal? What can we learn about heresy from this guy?

Garris is a necromancer. He summons bone snails in battle and uses the Prince of Death staff to cast a spell similar to Rancorcall, whose description claims that it's an ancient death hex presumed lost to the annals of history until Garris rediscovered it. Most interesting, however, is his weapon. Garris wields the unique flail Family Heads.

Three bludgeoning copper heads attached to a handle by chains. Signature weapon of Necromancer Garris, the heretical sage. The heads were made to resemble those of his wife and two children.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Here we have confirmation that Garris is not only a Sage, but a heretical one. Much like good old Gowry. A wife and children, you say? Let's take a look at the weapon's unique Ash of War: Familial Rancor. This ash behaves similarly to Rancorcall, the spell that Garris rediscovered and uses. And its description?

Gently rattle the copper heads to summon vengeful spirits that chase down foes. The anguish of a spouse and children invites accursed wrath.

Alrighty. It's the classic story of a magician and his dead family. This is just Fullmetal Alchemist now. We don't really have the evidence to say one way or another what happened here. Did Garris lose his family and resort to necromancy to try to get them back? Or is the "wrath" and "anguish" of his family a result of him using them as human sacrifices or guinea pigs in his experiments with the dark arts? But enough of that.

The trouble we were having with Gowry is that we couldn't pin down what he was doing that would have gotten him banished from Sellia. Sellia, per the Night Shard description, is a town of assassins that habitually kill other sorcerers. You'd have to do something nuts to get kicked out of a place like that, and we just didn't have anything that points towards a sensical explanation for Gowry's heresy. This is where Garris saves us. We know he was also a Sage who got kicked out of Sellia for being a heretic, but unlike Gowry, we know EXACTLY what Garris was doing. And now let's look back at Sellian theological law and try to apply it to necromancy.

Of course necromancy is heretical! The Lands Between broadly speaking venerates the dead. Dead people are buried at the roots of the Erdtree to return to its grace. The burial watchdogs are statues built to watch over these dead, and while the Erdtree is a Golden Order concept, the fact that some watchdogs use glintstone attacks implies that the Liurnians also build them. Liurnia does have its own Erdtree burial catacombs, despite not worshipping the Erdtree or any other Golden Order figures as deities. We know from Fia and Lionel that people in the Lands Between see the Deathbed Companions as disgusting heretics. What do Deathbed Companions do? Raise the dead. Necromancy seems like an amazing way to get yourself kicked out of just about any dignified society in the Lands Between.

And when we look at Gowry through the lens of necromancy... things start to add up.

If you try to kill Gowry, he turns into a Kindred of Rot on death and his disembodied voice casually mentions that he can keep coming back. Upon reloading the shack, Gowry's there again. You can repeat this ad infinitum until reaching the end of his and Millicent's questline. He doesn't stay dead.

Hmm.

We can't really say for sure what Garris was doing with his necromancy outside of the fact that he was researching ancient hexes. Gowry, on the other hand...

Here's my theory. Gowry, either together with Garris or on his own, starts researching methods of achieving life after death. When what he's doing comes to light, he gets banished from Sellia, but his work is far enough along that he can finish it alone without the resources of a town of sorcery. But as an outcast, there's not much he can really do with that.

Enter Malenia.

Malenia's bloom is said to have been awe-inspiring and divine. We can find ghosts who witnessed Aeonia ranting about the divine splendor.

Sublime, I tell you. The very first flower of Aeonia bloomed on this very spot. Malenia, may you blossom into a goddess.

For Gowry, who is by now thoroughly disillusioned with the Sellian orthodoxy that kicked him to the curb for being a necromancer, the Rot may well have been a religious experience. Especially when the necrotic death bomb starts creating life.

Life from death. The goal of every necromancer.

And oh boy does Caelid have it.

Gowry has found a Goddess who he thinks can create life from death. He has an entire cult worth of shrimp people who also worship her, and who he can manipulate as he pleases with his superior intellect. And best of all, he has Malenia's daughters, who he can raise into Goddesses of Rot themselves.

Gowry is of course just a man. An old man whose condo is six feet away from Ground Zero for the Aeonian Bloom. His body is dying as he experiences all this wonder and finds the infant buds amidst the fallout of the Bloom. But for a Necromancer, who has cracked the code, this is no trouble. Even as his body gives out, Gowry's spirit possesses a lowly Kindred of Rot, projecting an illusion of his human form. As a Kindred, he can survive indefinitely in rotting Caelid. As an illusory human, he can deal with outsiders and raise Malenia's daughters. If his Kindred is slain... no matter. There's more where that came from.

#elden ring #malenia blade of miquella #elden ring lore #elden ring theory #sage gowry #necromancer garris #sellia #caelid #scarlet rot #asks #answered #answered asks

[yournextflame]

To add to your theory there’s also the candletree shield: “Thought to represent a surreptitious prophecy of cardinal sin, the lit candle-tree design was forbidden”

Just that description alone would seem to point to fire+erdtree=bad lol but you can find several candelabra like spirit trees that resemble the design on the shield and when you examine them a ghost leads you to something hidden nearby. Which reminded me of this part of Helphen’s Steeple description: “the lampwood which guides the dead of the spirit world”

I'll reply to you and other anon, who asked about connection between spirit world and Miquella/St. Trina in one post.

You brought a great point about wandering ghosts, not only they are spawning near candletrees, but lamps shaped like candletrees can be found in the praying room of Haligtree near the statue of Miquella. Or St. Trina?

However, at first I wanted to say that Candletree Shield might be unrelated to the subjext due to difference in design, until I found out that this shield is located in Sage's Cave, a home of Necromancer Garris. Garris is quite an interesting guy, he is a link between ancient death sorsery of Deathbirds and modern incarnation of death sorcery.

I really didn't want to touch this subject in a mere reply, but let me explain. Whatever ritual Ranni did with Godwyn allowed to rediscover old ghostflame magic of Deathbirds and their outer god that predated existance of the Erdtree (Explosive Ghostflame: in the time when there was no Erdtree, death was burned in ghostflame. Deathbirds were the keepers of that fire)

Ancient Death Rancor: sorcery of the servants of Death. Summons a horde of vengeful spirits that chase down foes. Charging enhances potency. They are cinders of the ancient death hex, raked from the fires of ghostflame by Deathbirds.

Rancorcall: sorcery of the servants of Death. Summons vengeful spirits that chase down foes. Charging enhances potency. Once though lost, this ancient death hex was rediscovered by the necromancer Garris. 

Background sigils is one the best future of Elden Ring from the perspective of lore hunting because they are allowing us to indicate origin of spells, for example in case of incantations we can easily define an object of worship. It works similar for the sorceries, but Death sorceries is the absolute ??? because their sigil is cursemark of Godwyn, who was killed right before the Shattering. I can see why new Death spells are using it, but how they are connected with the old magic? Wtf Ranni did, where did she learned about the ritual and how it's all connected to the outer god of Deathbirds?

So, before I'm going to lose my mind over death sorceries, let me summarize: Miquella cares about Godwyn, who was killed by Black Knives, but can't die properly, Miquella also has candledtrees near his statue - necromancer fanatic of Deathbirds rediscovered sorcery, which is powered up by Godwyn's cursemark, this dude also has nascent butterfly in his basement (his butterfly appears as if it's just emerged from its cocoon for its entire life), Candletree shield and... Black Knife Assassin and talisman that they used during NoBK (Concealing Veil: Part of one of the concealing veils used by the assassins on the Night of Black Knives) - Miquella also planned to do something with eclipsed sun, the eclipsed sun, drained of color, is the protective star of soulless demigods/ The sun in eclipse is said to be the symbol of the Wandering Mausoleum where the soulless demigods slumber, and the stars, as we know, is the source of power for sorceries.

Lord Miquella, forgive me. The sun has not been swallowed. Our prayers were lacking. Your comrade remains soulless... (Ghost at the Castle Sol)

(THERE IS TOO MUCH GOING ON WITH NECROMANCER GARRIS)

Okay, I do believe that dreamworld is connected to the spirit world if not the same thing. We find Godwyn's malformed corpses the location named Deathbed Dream.

Worth noting that items and objects related to sleep and some items with connection to death (Grave Violet, Godskins jewelry, water near Tibia Mariner) are violet (the hue of ghostflame, it's believed to be useful in calling forth spirits):

It also interesting how description St. Trina's Arrow

Priests of St. Trina use these arrows to spread their teachings. The sweet oblivion of sleep can become quite the habit

matches description of Juvenile Scholar Cap:

Robe worn by young academy scholars, the juveniles birthed anew by the amber egg of Queen Rennala, the head of Raya Lucaria Academy. Yet their rebirth is not without imperfections, and thus do they repeat the process, eventually becoming utterly dependent upon it. Rebirth is as sleep to them, and with each awakening, memory fades into oblivion.

There is an interesting theory in Chinese community that all Empyrean children of Radagon are connected via sleep sorcery. Miquella is self-explanatory, Ranni asks Tarnished do not disturb mother's rich slumber, goes to nap during her quest, puts into a sleep merchant and his donkey the first time we've met her. There is not a lot of about Malenia, but she is sleeping, while waiting for Miquella. Some people even suggest that Empyrean kids inherited those powers from their father, albeit it's never mentioned.

Ah, and last but not least. Do you know that you can see Godwyn's face on some crabs?

Well, crabs are one of the few enemies in game, who can cast a sleep status on Tarnished. They are usually doing it near Raya Lucaria.

#elden ring #miquella #godwyn #necromancer garris #ranni #death sorcery #elden ring lore #lore theories #longread

[minespatchart]

The struggle to draw this was the family heads flail. I hope Fromsoft does a update so the heads have a clearer look design wise. I like the skeleton snail.

It was fascinating drawing Garris. He's not given a ton of attention.

#minespatch #fromsoft fanart #elden ring fanart #patches the untethered #artists on tumblr #my art #necromancer garris #griffinbone

[sir-virtem]

As soon I read anything related to Those Who Live in Death I knew she didn't know shit about them.

#necromancer garris #fia deathbed companion #elden ring

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability

It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

Dragonkin Soldier:

Mindless beast

Astel, Naturalborn of the Void

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Fia's Champions:

Ghosts, simps.

Regal Ancestor Spirit

Animal

Erdtree Avatar

A plant

Great Wyrm Theodorix

Mindless beast.

Ulcerated Tree Spirit

A plant, no junk

Tibia Mariner:

Skeleton

Red Wolf of the Champion:

Animal.

Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Abductor Virgin

First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.

Erdtree Burial Watchdog

Stone gargoyle

Crystalians

Non-organic

Mad Pumpkin Heads

Unable to consent due to madness.

Cemetery Shade

Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.

Spirit-Caller Snail

Animal

Runebear

Animal

Miranda the Blighted Bloom

A plant

Guardian Golem

Stone gargoyle

Starscourge Radahn:

Unable to consent due to madness

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Elden Beast:

Too catholic.

Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:

Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.

Omenkiller:

Basically a cop.

Necromancer Garris:

Killed his family, not a good husband.

Royal Revenant:

Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)

Godrick the Grafted:

Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

Valiant Gargoyle:

Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.

Malenia, Blade of Miquella:

Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)

Death Rite Bird:

I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.

Black Blade Kindred:

Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.

Maliketh, the Black Blade:

Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.

Morgott, the Omen King:

You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.

Draconic Tree Sentinel:

Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.

Wormface:

Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.

Tree Sentinel:

Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.

Elder Dragon Greyoll:

Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.

Grafted Scion:

There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

Esgar, Priest of Blood:

No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)

Mohg, Lord of Blood:

This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.

Borealis the Freezing Fog:

Too cold, not a snuggler.

Elemer of the Briar:

The armor stays ON during sex.

Kindred of Rot:

It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.

Sanguine Noble:

Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.

Decaying Ekzykes:

He's sick right now, leave him alone.

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:

I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.

Grave Warden Duelist:

I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.

Night's Cavalry:

If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.

Onyx Lord:

Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.

Alabaster Lord:

Same as the Onyx Lord but slightly more goth.

Fell Twins:

Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.

Demi-Human Queens:

I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.

Stonedigger Troll:

If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.

Flying Dragon Greyll:

A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.

Glintstone Dragon Adula:

A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.

Beastman of Farum Azula:

On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.

Battlemage Hugues:

Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.

Commander O'Neil:

Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.

Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:

The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.

Adan, Thief of Fire:

The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.

Soldier of Godrick:

He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.

Flying Dragon Agheel:

One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.

Demi-Human Chief:

Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

Lichdragon Fortissax:

A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.

Crucible Knight Siluria:

A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.

Mimic Tear:

A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?

Commander Niall:

A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.

Fire Giant:

Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.

Ancient Hero of Zamor:

Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.

Cleanrot Knight:

Lesbian activities detected.

Crucible Knight:

These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.

Glintstone Dragon Smarag:

Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.

Bols, Carian Knight:

He seems like a good boy.

Scaly Misbegotten:

I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.

Leonine Misbegotten:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Misbegotten Warrior:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

Crucible Knight Ordovis:

Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.

Perfumer Tricia:

She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.

Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:

You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:

As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

Dragonlord Placidusax:

Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...

Ancient Dragon Lansseax:

Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.

Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):

We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

Radagon of the Golden Order:

He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.

Godskin Duo:

Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.

Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:

The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.

God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:

Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.

Black Knife Assassin:

They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.

Patches:

If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.

#meme #shitpost #do not take seriously #Elden Ring #Elden Ring memes #Elden Ring Fuckability #Elden Ring Ranking #Elden Ring Shitpost #Ranking #monster fucker #from software #tw: sex mention #Dark Souls #Radagon of the Golden Order #Godskin Duo #Vyke #Knight of the Roundtable #God-Devouring Serpent #Rykard #Lord of Blasphemy #Black Knife Assassin #Patches #Dragonkin Soldier #Astel Naturalborn of the Void #Fia's Champions #Regal Ancestor Spirit #Erdtree Avatar #Great Wyrm Theodorix #Ulcerated Tree Spirit #Tibia Mariner

[anomalocariscanadensis]

something in elden ring that i think we're undertheorizing is flame. there are so many distinct kinds of flame.

the flame of ruin (orange/red), from the forge atop the mountain of the giants. associated with the one-eyed fell god of the giants. noted for its ability to burn the erdtree and thus deeply forbidden within the golden order. once guarded by the fire giants, it is now guarded for the golden order by the fire monks as well as the last giant, who also worship it due to its beguiling allure. prophets of the golden order sometimes glimpse it within the faith, prophesizing the burning of the erdtree, at which point they are banished.

the flame of frenzy (yellow/orange). the frenzied flame is the influence of an outer god (which can be held off by miquella's needle). its presence is said to have originated with shabriri, "the most reviled man in history". his eyes were gouged out for the crime of slander, but were eventually replaced by the flame of frenzy. it's considered a sickness, can spread from person to person, and causes blindness as the eyes turn into oozing "grapes". it afflicted the nomadic merchants of the Great Caravan, who, in one of the great atrocities of the golden order, were rounded up and buried alive en masse in the sewers - either to bury the maddening disease with them, or because of their heretical beliefs, depending on who you ask (these may be the same thing). in their rage and despair, they chanted a curse and summoned the flame of frenzy. it's not clear whether the three fingers were already frenzied and buried with them, or if their curse made the three fingers what they are today, but at this point the three fingers are the primary source of frenzy in the lands between. its followers shabriri and hyetta seem to be disembodied, incarnating by possessing and resurrecting the bodies of the dead. it allows the tarnished to serve as kindling themselves, rather than needing to burn a maiden; vyke the dragonspear took this deal but didn't end up burning the erdtree. the ultimate goal of the frenzied flame is to melt away all fractures and distinctions, ending the "mistake" of births and souls and all the suffering of the world. any connections with the crucible are unclear, but it's understandable why it would be invoked primarily by those who face unspeakable suffering at the hands of the powers of the world.

the godslaying black flame (black/white), associated primarily with the godskin apostles, who served an empyrean known as the gloam-eyed (or synonymously dusk-eyed) queen. she apparently raised them from birth to kill the gods; the most ancient of the apostles "assimilated inhuman physiology. not unlike the crucible, the erdtree in its primordial form". the gloam-eyed queen was associated strongly with destined death, and was defeated by maliketh. when he sealed the rune of death, the true power of the black flame was lost. however, some of the fire monks who guard the flame of ruin were apparently enthralled by it and turned traitor to their post, or perhaps fled the flame of ruin and swore fealty to the black flame out of cowardice. it is said to be "weighty", and drains a percentage of the hp of those it burns for a short time after the initial burn.

ghostflame (grey/white), produced by burning the dead. bitterly cold. primarily associated with the ancient pre-erdtree death rites of the deathbirds, who burned the dead in kilns and raked out their ashes. vengeful spirits arose from the cinders of those ashes. their magic was resurrected by the necromancer garris, who is implied to have murdered his own family for power. ghostflame is not exclusive to the deathbirds' rites, though, as the company of the hawk who explored the eternal city were forced to resort to burning the bones of their dead companions, which also produced ghostflame (and forced them to stay trapped underground for some reason).

bloodflame (red/orange), which causes its burn victims to bleed. it originates with an outer god known as the "formless mother" or "mother of truth" and is primarily used by mohg and his followers. she is said to crave wounds. those who follow her can reach into "her body" and draw bloodflame out of thin air, which could suggest she is immanent throughout the world, but mohg apparently stood before her deep underground, which suggests she has a physical location. when he did so, his "accursed blood" erupted with fire. the only instance of bloodflame not directly connected with mohg is the weapon art of morgott's cursed sword, which was formed from the accursed blood morgott "recanted and sealed away". the omen connection is interesting but very unclear.

magma, from mt. gelmir. associated with the volcano itself, of course, and the ancient blasphemous serpent which lives there and which might one day devour the world. rykard brought the ancient gelmir magma hexes back into modern practical usage. the recusants of volcano manor are blasphemers who hope to burn the erdtree; they were besieged by the fire monks in one of the most brutal battles of the shattering. those who delve too deep into dragon communion become magma wyrms. the heroes rykard devoured became vengeful rancor spirits, in what seems to be a magma-imbued form of ghostflame. rykard's sword also conjures "blasphemous flames" which have faith scaling (like the flame of ruin)

the flame of wraiths/omens (black core/gold edges). appears on morgott's sword in his second phase once his omen curse is unleashed, and in the form of wraiths summoned by the wraith calling bell and omen bairn items as well as omen enemies. wraiths are said to be the vengeful spirits of those who died while cursed. the wraith calling bell is used by the worshippers of revenants; i don't know jack about where revenants fit in the lore but they look like some fucked up grafting shit. could mean anything

the flame of death blight (gold core/black edges). appears on the weapons of mausoleum knights and the eclipse shotel, and thus associated with dead demigods. interestingly, though the mausoleum knights resurrected some of the deathbird rites, they do not use ghostflame.

the rune of death fire (red/black) inflicted by the black knives and maliketh's black blade. the black knives are explicitly referred to as "godslaying" (which, well, they did) and the rune of death is destined death, so it's not clear how this differs lore-wise from the black flame wielded by the apostles. saps a percentage of hp like blackflame and additionally reduces max hp on the target

normal fire (you know what this looks like). the redmanes use it to hold off the scarlet rot. the fire breathed by your average dragon doesn't seem to be especially associated with any gods or forces so maybe it's just normal fire too? or maybe it's its own thing. idk. there are campfires also

that glintstone magic fire thing a couple dragons do. doesn't have any lore afaik

"the flame of ambition" as morgott says. probably just metaphorical

i'm sure i could read incredibly deep into all this and come up with a whole theory of how it's connected which would shape everything else in the entire lore but i do not have the mental energy for that rn

#elden ring

[dominafamiliar]

Cyberpunk 2077 thoughts [SPOILERS]

So, I've played through Cyberpunk 2077's multiple endings. The few I haven't done yet are solo-ing Arasaka as co-conscious V/Johnny... and the endings where you let Song So Mi get taken back to the NUSA. Haven't played the V'johnny ending because apparently it's tricky to get the right circumstances? And I haven't handed over So Mi because fuck that.

But I'm not here about that. I'm here to posit the suggestion that the entire prologue, through act 1, that's the only time you play as V.

Up until the night Jackie dies, you're V. But the moment you relive Johnny Rockerboy Terrorist Night City Legend Silverhand's memory of storming and nuking Arasaka tower... whatever wakes up in the trash the next morning? It's not V. It's not Johnny either.

V flat-lined. The Relic revitalized and reactivated their brain/body and began a process of overwriting V's memories and personality with Johnny Silverhand's engram (again, not Johnny)... and from that moment forward, whatever was V isn't.

V with Johnny can interface with the Blackwall. Even if V specs 0 additional points into intelligence/net-running. They can survive direct contact with the Blackwall. Not only that, but when linked up with So Mi, V can USE the Blackwall to smash through Militech forces on the last leg of the journey to getting her to safety.

You could, theoretically only be at half the level maximum when you get to that fight. No netrunner training. No tech skills. Just using cyber eldritch blast on fools who stand in your way. And then if you betray Songbird and side with Reed, earlier in the story, and have to intercept MAX TAC about it... you can get a shard in the Militech research facility that lets you build a custom cyberdeck with a Blackwall Daemon on it. Yeah. So Mi can use the Blackwall, but it eats her alive to do it each time. V? V can use the blackwall cyberdeck with overclock, wipe out a few enemies... AND THEN BE FINE.

So.

V. Is. Dead. You are not playing. V. You are playing the Frankenstein's Monster that Yorinobu creates. Complete with an option to end the game by serving Hanako Arasaka and getting Yorinobu slotted with his own Relic full of his father's engram. You are the Frankenstein Creation. Created by a bunch of people fucking with technology what shouldn't be fucked with. And like how the Frankenstein creation can weather the elements, endure even electrical shock, when such things would kill others... V's reanimated body becomes extremely resilient to things that should have killed them.

Fucking techno necromancers...

Thanks a bunch, Garry.

#cyberpunk 2077 #frankenstein #techno necromancers

[perrin-aybaras-hammer]

psst over here

4/22/24 I should really rewrite this, but whatever. I should mention, if you are a cis man running a porn blog don't repost my shit.

So I guess this my extended bio? Yikes, alright. I'm late to the tumblr scene, due to fear of social interactions on the internet and also unknowingly being in the closet for 19 years. But I'm here now.

A chance to catch up on missed opportunities to be queer on the internet. Expect lots of locked tomb reposts for the near future. We'll see where the hyperfixations take me. ALERT. HORNY ON MAIN. Thus 18+ only pls!

Also big SPOILERS. I'm not very patient at tags, my apologies.

2/22/23 Addendum. There might be spiders occasionally. But cute ones. Or big fantasy ones.

Bridget Steppy's Elden Ring Hit List: (Cemetery Shade), Grave Warden Duelist, Bloody Finger Nerijus, Bloodhound Knight Darriwil, Tibia Mariner, Tree Sentinel, Demi-Human Chiefs, Margit of the Fell Omen, Stormveil Castle Grafted Scion (not tech a boss there but in my first playthru it gave me hell and this time i beat it first try, so it gets on the list), Cleanrot Knight, Edgar the Revenger, Crucible Knight, Adan, Thief of Fire, Flying Dragon Agheel, Leonine Misbegotten, Erdtree Burial Watchdog, Ancient Hero of Zamor, Mad Pumpkin Head, Erdtree Avatar, Red Wolf of Radagon, Moongrum Carian Knight, Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon, Black Knife Assassin, Cemetery Shade, Festering Fingerprint Vyke, Royal Knight Loretta, Anastasia Tarnished-Eater, Caelid Mad Pumpkin Heads, Crucible Knight and Misbegotten Warrior, Commander O'Neil, Putrid Crystalians, (Caelid) Putrid Avatar, Caelid Erdtree Burial Watchdogs, Forgotten Cave Cleanrot Knights, Starscourge Radahn, Caelid Cemetery Shade, Fallingstar Beast, Godskin Apostle, Dragonbarrow Putrid Avatar, Dragonbarrow Night's Cavalry (Caelid), Beastman of Farum Azula, Godefroy the Grafted (first try), Night's Cavalry (Altus Plateau), Sanguine Noble, Wormface, Godskin Apostle (windmills), Black Knife Assassin (Altus Plateau), Fallingstar Beast (Altus Plateau), Tree Sentinels (Altus Plateau), Deathbird, Draconic Tree Sentinel, Godfrey First Elden Lord, Morgott the Omen King, Anastasia Tarnished Eater, Red Wolf of the Champion, Crystalians (Altus Tunnel), Mimic Tear (Nokron), Regal Ancestor Spirit, Valiant Gargoyles (Aqueduct), Black Blade Kindred (Caelid), Fia's Retinue, THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER, Mohg the Omen, Crucible Knight Siluria, Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast, Ulcerated Tree Spirit, Godskin Noble (Volcano Manor), a bunch of quest-line invasion mini-bosses, Elemer of the Briar, Perfumer Tricia and Misbegotten Warrior, Necromancer Garris, Stonedigger Troll, Glintstone Dragon Smarag, Fell Twins, Night's Cavalry (Forbidden Lands), Black Blade Kindred (Forbidden Lands), Ulcerated Tree Spirit (Giants' Mountaintop Catacombs), Juno Hoslow, Knight of Blood, Omenkiller, Erdtree Avatar Pair (Mountaintop of the Giants), Death Rite Bird (hehheheheheheh AT LONG LAST), Ensha of the Royal Remains (wait that guy just tried to kill me? bruh), Commander Niall, Roundtable Knight Vyke, Ancient Hero of Zamor,

6/1/23

DMs open to fellow queer folks, nd people, and people in my interest areas/fandoms. I will only freak out a little bit (audhd social anxiety yippee). 18+ pls.

Last few things. My profile picture is the art from Spinewoods Armadillo by Iris Compiet for Magic: the Gathering.

Finally, the usual. Terfs, homophobes, and any other such types can fuck right off.

#op #elden ring #bio

[elden-ring-item-descriptions]

Rancorcall

Sorcery of the servants of Death.

Summons vengeful spirits that chase down foes. Charging enhances potency.

Once thought lost, this ancient death hex was rediscovered by the necromancer Garris.

#death

[sherlocks-bitch-moriarty]

I’m totally not playing as chiaki what no haha

#david whoosh #garry elric #its crypt of the necromancer and i saw danganronpa and everything is danganronpa now #im a c h i l d

[itsmamamoon]

The Nautical Necromancer

#featuring the photoshop smear tool #art #ferryman #skeleton #boat #garry's mod #gmod #photoshop #reaper #necromancer #did these as a request by a friend of mine

[lesbx]

necromancer garris dropping more runes than the black knife assassin immediately adjacent to him despite being an objectively weaker opponent is a commentary on the wage gap

[murdercene]

northern fights 16/8

- we’ve ARRIVED at The Gap (harbor town in Khmere not the jeans store)

- there’s a lot of stores but i honestly cant remember anything except the smithy called “blood bath and beyond”

- two rooms with three beds each in the tavern. ciara sleeps on the roof. dmitri shares a room with tildar and jonah and Hates It

- some shopping is done, so many trinkets bought

- jonah buys One dog sized shoe and puts it on pod who hates it

- dmitri explains to ciara that uh yes our dog is. super magic

- fortune teller time!!!

- she’s a firbolg with a texan accent and she’s “dressed like a pile of scarves”

- ciara asks if her brother is still alive and gets a yes

- jonah wants a general read and gets some info on the lycans and also: it’s Not A Curse

- tildar finds out fraz still has his soul :( but at least his new patron is a somewhat good person? fey? tree???

- rice is told lathander has a plan for her!! she’s going :D the entire time

- shirley asks if the boat crew is okay. the fortune teller is like you left them literally two hours ago they’re right outside. also your home town is having Issues

- dmitri gets some fun info like “you’ve been betrayed. watch out or it will happen again” and also apparently She Knows Where Viktor Is

- “go to the dapper dog, tell carlotta you’ve had issues with your door and you need a new lock”

- at the dapper dog there’s a bunch of necromancers/bone scouts and everything is Very Tense. dmitri gets threatened by carlotta and he’s like you know what thats fair. they sit and wait til the bone scouts get wasted and then

- theyre led through a bunch of doors into a secret room and Surprise!!!! Rebellion Headquarters!!!!!!!

- they meet the leader of a group called the keys, a goliath woman called locke (i love her)

- “if you want me to trust you you’ll steal this thing for me”

- IT’S HEIST TIME!!!!

- we’re oceans seven babey

- the goal is to steal the diamond eye of a statue, unnoticed, during. a fancy ball at oceanwatch keep

- rest of the session is planning and Creating Of Fake Identities

- dmitri is in his element as a former criminal and current sneaky rogue

- dmitri and ciara will play noble siblings from sylvaine, rice’s undercover name is spaghetti, shirley will be working in the kitchen as gerrion craigfist (garry craigslist)

- and, to jonah and tildar’s gay panic, they’re going to be playing a married couple: Yurim Montague and Julius Capulet

- realized while writing this we have no idea what pod is gonna do. who gets the dog

#txt #northern fights #dnd #recap

[allycat]

So, tonight in D&D my players ran into a trio of sentient zombies in a dungeon named Larry, Garry and Barry, and their pet black pudding; Tim.

Calamari, our Triton Sorcerer, and her twin brother Calamari, our Triton Paladin wiggled at Tim, who wiggled back, and Mai, our Kitsune Dancer also wiggled.

I rolled a d100 with a 5% chance that Tim would become friendly to them. I rolled a 3. The party now has a pet Black Pudding.

Larry and Gary and Barry are still alive after a nice conversation. Turns out, Larry was once a necromancer feared among all the islands until he caught a harpoon in the chest, then one of his acolytes raised him. It’s awfully embarrassing really.

#D&D #dnd #dungeons and dragons #5e #this campaign has such a different tone to my last one and honestly i love it #but next session they're gonna get into the real story and i'm excited for that too

[suprjman-blog]

Digital drawing of my D&D Necromancer, Bartholomew Garris

#Art #digital art #d&d