#no one taught me how to tag things

[incessantlydull]

you ever ever get so depressed you’re embarrassed. did I really just cry because I saw a calendar? that’s so humiliating,,,

#girl help #a fucking calendar #thoughts #no one taught me how to tag things #shower thoughts #memes #funny #i hope #no fr #depressed #sad #help </3

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[sage-nebula]

I don't ship Phoenix and Maya and never have, but I think it's crazy for anyone to suggest they aren't each other's best friend in the world. Like there are so many different forms of love, none more important than the other, and the love that Phoenix and Maya have as each other's best friend and confidant is very, very real. They are not lovers, they are not siblings, but they ARE best friends and I think that should be appreciated for the gem it is.

#this is unfortunately another case of ''fandom sees everyone as either lovers or siblings'' and it's unfortunate #i'm almost done w my JFA replay and they are SUCH besties #it's honestly precious and beautiful #ace attorney #phoenix wright #maya fey #phoenix and maya #until i can think of a better tag for them #also tbh they are equally qualified as attorneys so #bc if there is one thing this replay has taught me it's that Phoenix doesn't know shit abt law #he got his degree by mail order istg #how he passed the bar is a real mystery #anyway

[arsenicflame]

i really liked my tags on this post so i wanted to touch them up and post them as a stand alone! i ended up adding quite a bit to this ''':)

What artistic skill does Izzy possess?

I think he has a lot of 'practical' artsy skills. he’s decent at sewing (mending your own clothes isn't just useful, it's almost a requirement at sea with limited possessions and resources) he's probably decent at braiding hair from having to splice rope- simply anything with roots in being useful I think he has done enough to be decent at by this point in his life.

Singing comes into this as well, holding a rhythm is important for certain sailing tasks, and while I think he can sing in ways that don't translate to shanties, I don't think he has utilised this in a long long time (so excited that we are apparently getting an Izzy singing scene in s2!!!! I need him to know he can have fun)

Another thing is I think he was a really good tattoo artist! I don't actually see him as having the creativity to come up with interesting and unique designs but I do think he is excellent at the act itself, and at copying requested designs. you need a swallow? an anchor? a ship? any common sailors tattoo? he can absolutely do it and it will probably be the best tattoo you have. it was always a mark of honour if you could convince him to do yours on the Queen Anne- he was very busy and didn't often do them, and definitely wouldn't do them if he didn't respect you. He's done a lot of Ed's 'quality' tattoos (though I think Ed also does a lot on himself), he's done tattoos for Fang, and Ivan, and he will do them for the rest of the kraken crew in the future. (he will even do one for Lucius one day, one of his own pieces of art as long as its not an Ed face or a dick. They understand each other now)

anything else? I don't know, I see him very much as, he won't let himself do things if they aren't practical. his canon whittling is as close as he gets and that's more of a 'thing to do with your hands while watching the deck' kind of thing. have knife will whittle

I think ultimately, Izzy doesn't let himself do things for himself. if you love something, if you have a soft spot, it can be targeted, taken away.

I do think he maybe dances though. He always plays it off as something Ed forces him to do when they're drunk/on shore but... he loves it- the motion; the reliance on another partner and the intimate understanding of exactly what they're gonna do next? I think he would love that actually.

I think dancing might be the one thing he always does for fun. He never lets himself have it, but if Ed demands a partner? Yes, of course, anything for his Captain.

(Ed always demands a partner. he likes dancing well enough but he likes seeing Izzy do it more- he knows Izzy will never do it on his own, he understands why, but Ed is Blackbeard. Nobody fucks with Blackbeard- and if he wants to dance? if he wants his first mate to dance? they're fucking dancing.)

but that's not the truth of the situation, really.

It always takes him a second to let his guard down, but he relaxes into it. He lets himself loose in a way Ed only sees when he's deep into the rhythm of a swordfight. And perhaps it's the same, to him- finding the flow of the battle, of the music. Feeling his partner, understanding them and being understood in return? It's all the same- but dancing is safe. Dancing is fun. In a swordfight there are stakes- and he loves the stakes, he loves that this thing that means everything to him matters, but sometimes, just sometimes, it really is nice to move like that in a way that doesn't matter.

And when they really get going- all twirls and jumps and frankly being a little ridiculous, Izzy laughs. A deep belly laugh, a kind of joy you didn't think was possible from him. But here he is, letting go at last. He laughs and he smiles and he feels such joy, the rest of the world melts away, and it is just him and his partner, dancing.

(later- much, much later, a man will play a battle song over their raids, a jaunty little tune that throws off everyone they fight against, and Izzy gets to dance, and fight, and feel free, unburdened by the weight that he's carried with him his whole life. They'll dance after too, and he will have finally found a place where he completely belongs)

(if you liked this, can I recommend Talking Bodies by ItsClydeBitches, i feel like that fic fits the themes of dancing incredibly well)

#I didnt want to clog up ops post but Izzy dancing is everything to me actually #I hadnt reread that fic in months but I did just now to make sure it was the one I was thinking of #and yeah I can definitely see its influence in this post #once again the autistic Izzy headcanons thread themselves through this post I cant help it its canon to me #I specifically think that the whittling could be a stim thing for him. hes had too many comments made about his hand movements #when he was younger and has learnt that 'doing something' is seen as far more acceptable. its repetitive and soothing and safe #also heres a fun little gift for my bellhands friends. I think Sam taught him how to dance. like proper dances. #and it was at the same time as he was learning to swordfight which is partly why theyre so similar for him #Ed and Jack came across them dancing in port; not long after they started talking to Izzy properly (hed known Sam a while by this point) #and like. Jack thinks its kinda funny but Ed? oh hes jealous. for the first time he Wants #Izzy and Sam are so close; and they have been for a while but this is Different. its one thing knowing that its Izzy&Sam and Ed&Jack #and its another thing to see them like this. its intimate and personal and for the first time Ed regrets not seeing izzy first #(this is heavily influenced by my personal pirate school headcanons jfgjfhnv) #makes a post to deal with out of hand tags; tags on that post get out of hand #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #edizzy #blackhands #frenchie ofmd #references to him; anyway. i felt it fit to keep him vaguely defined but it is obviously him. my favourite lil guy #this should probably have been broken up into a couple of posts but NO take this behemoth #if youre curious the post is like 844 words long and with the tags its 1220 ish. i am so sorry #references to vague time periods pre canon and post canon idk put them whenever you want. when edizzy was happy. when they will be again #I cut the bit about weaving because it was just a silly little thing and didnt slot into this but know Izzy with a loom is everything to me #im also sorry the tone is all over the place this is half 'i thinks' and half like. semi narrative things? idk idk i have no sense of order #this is as good as it gets for me

[fragmentedblade]

Jingliu tells Yanqing "your zealousness inhibits your ability to hide your line of attack". This is something at what Jing Yuan excels

#And the thing we see him insisting on with Yanqing and Fu Xuan #This is also something that was repeatedly stated on the fencing book I read #And it related to the sight‚ as they called it iirc #The book insisted a lot on how a true swordmaster is patient and is able to see in the little movements and gestures of their opponent #the movement they'll make and thus what will have to be faced #Seeing this and anticipating their movements quickly was one of the keys for being a master #There were several things in that book that made me think of Jingliu. I still have to save the fragments here #Anyway... Yanqing replies saying precisely that general Jing Yuan has told him something similar before. I love him haha #I also love that Jing Yuan says himself he has 'no affinity with the sword' and that 'are getting rusty' #I don't know. I adore that the general of the Cloud Knights isn't a natural swordmaster. I love that he admits it too #And I love that Jingliu taught him nonetheless. I adore everything this tells us about these characters #and I won't ramble about it‚ I'll behave‚ but... this reminded me of Yingxing lol #I love the idea well beyond Yingxing and I don't think it has to do with him at all‚but I love that it reminds me of him and master Huaiyan #I talk too much #Jingliu #Yanqing #Hmmm maybe I should find a tag for something that's not Blade related‚ but also doesn't go in the databank tag #Traces #Jing Yuan #I think I should tag him too #I'm sorry if this appears in the main tags. I hate tumblr for not letting me organise things without bothering people too

[sometimes-sleeby-octopus]

I made a ninjago bracelet with clay beads

#ninjago #I would’ve added nia but I have a limited color palette #personally I’m a Zane Stan. I might make a bracelet themed on him next #and maybe one for Cole too #rant about math in next tags btw #also can I just say arithmetic is the one math thing I actually use in my life #Wish they taught me how to do that faster instead of all the other bullcrap #The unit circle? can go fuck itself /j #I have bad experiences with math lol #Also if I get told that I’m good at it one more time I will riot

[wayward-sherlock]

i think we may have moved on too quickly about how well written max’s s4v1 arc was. she was battling severe depression, taking care of her mother, AND grieving her abuser. and then, that abuser “came back to life” to point out all of her flaws, and she could’ve given up, she could’ve chose not to run up that hill, but through the power of music, she was able to see a path out of hell and see that people loved her, and cared for her, and were willing to help her, regardless of how poorly she had treated them in the past. so she runs. and i just think that that’s really powerful.

#i got the one two punch of being a max kin AND a will kin #yeah #stranger things #max mayfield #no matter how much they destroyed her character in v2 i think they did really well with her in v1 #and I don’t mean destroyed her character I mean destroying her arc. because it was beautiful the way it was and then she died and it taught #us what? #that no matter how hard you fight #how much you trust people you love #they’re going to let you down? #even if it’s not purposeful #shit not me writing another post in the tags #you’ll be hearing more from me later

[grinchwrapsupreme]

being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

#truly alarming amount of tags on this post don't click read more fr #the venture bros #pete white #bily quizboy #billy whalen #idk man the way they balance each other is really interesting #the things they agree on and disagree on are almost arbitrary #'you can't put mouthwash in a cookie' 'trust me' vs 'we should spend 10 mil on a motorcycle instead of housing' 'that's such a cool idea' #billy trying to pep white up about the ball #'this was your dream too' like come on dude when have pete's dreams ever worked out #when have yours #'what are we gonna do now billy?' 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it' #baby the bridge has never been more present #ALSO white calling billy the dreamer when HE'S the one who pushes so hard for things #billy has dreams that might not be realistic but they give him hope and he works around the way the world works to make things happen #like being a self-taught surgeon and believing in a magic ball #pete has dreams IN SPITE of what is realistic and he will mold reality to be what he wants in order to make it happen #like fixing the quizshow and pretty much everything that happened in invisible hand of fate #and they both have disabilities that affect them in vastly different ways and impact their relationship with realistic goals #like billy's hydrocephalus being presented to the audience as mostly a social issue for him and the hand and eye being marks of trauma #rather than like an actual block for him beyond needing to tune the hand up every now and then #vs white's albinism making him physically unable to be in direct sunlight and making him actively fearful of doing certain things and #being certain places #to be clear i know the actual effects of hydrocephalus as well as the hand and eye but this is based on how the show presents it #like billy took these things about himself into account and went ok these are part of my reality and i will work with them #and pete took his reality and went ok i will cover it up with fake tan and wigs or sunscreen and hats and make reality what i want it to be #and that's what makes them a good team!! that's why they science together well #it's also why they argue so much #accepting reality and playing within its constraints vs hating reality and changing it to suit you #these are the hallmarks of scientific progress

[andthebeanstalk]

It helps me to think about caring for myself like I think about caring for a child.

Like, 'yes, I know you feel fine, but I think you've watched enough scary things before bed. Let's watch something nice now, okay?'

#original #it also helps because i am a queer autistic person with adhd who was raised catholic and #i was taught that the only way to be a truly good person was to sacrifice myself for others at all costs #and therefore seeking my own happiness was a sin. denial's the game. the more the holier. #I often think about how lent was all about honoring Jesus's sacrifice for us. but none of the things we ever gave up ever helped anyone #jesus was like hey it is a sin to allow people to go hungry and we were like 'give up pizza for a month got it' #🙄🙄🙄 #I went to Catholic school and we would brag to each other about what we gave up #i think Lent is about as holy as weight loss #only holy in the eyes of a god who doesn't love me #so I don't care much for that one anymore. #anyway what I meant to say was one of the things that helps me break out of this mindset that was ingrained in me at a young age #is when I start sacrificing myself instinctively to please people I ask if I would allow this level of pain to happen to a child #if that doesn't work I ask if I would allow it to happen to a dog. #and the answer is almost always absolutely not. i would protect that animal. #and my next thought is don't I deserve to be treated at least as well as a dog?? #i think yes. #i think i ought to be treated at least as well as I'd treat everyone else actually. and i am kind to others. #so why would i be my one exception? #these tags were brought to you by: i am setting boundaries with my family #bc i realized if they had treated my dog like this I'd have disowned them and not have felt guilty for it #i would also protect a child at all costs just to be clear #that is never in question it is just a matter of side stepping my trauma's excuses since it may go like #'oh you don't deserve as much as other people' but it is LESS likely to be able to convince me I should have less rights than a literal dog

[hidden-highlands]

the older i get the more i understand how categorically insane it was for my cadet unit to send a dozen 14-year-olds on a camp where their only supervision was three 17-year-olds

#i was one of those 17-year-olds. btw. #the camp was so shambolic that a commanding officer in the royal new zealand NAVY reprimanded us for how it went. #the whole thing was “'planned”' by one of our commanding officers. who was 19 and fucked off and left us with no plans #other than 'it starts at this time and ends at this time“ #we spent the entire weekend winging it. at one point we took the cadets for a burma trail through some random bush and #the flight sergeant muttered to me 'if any of them get hurt we're fucked. we didn't fill out RAMS forms for this' #and that wasn't even the most fucked thing to happen that weekend. #and like sure it's cadets so there's a clear rank structure and we're taught leadership and responsibility and duty of care #but at the end of the day 17 y/os are 17 y/os. they just do not have the wisdom and the maturity #to be solely responsible for that large a group of younger teenagers. #in hindsight we were all so lucky nothing went Seriously Wrong. #kiwi speaks #kiwi is an air cadet #(not anymore but i think that was my tag for atc ramblings lmao)

[loregoddess]

Ok I'm curious, could you elaborate on art school education when you have the time?

Mainly because my friend went to art high school and feels she wasted all the years there while I've been self-teaching myself for a few months by just messing around, so I was wondering just how different the two approaches are :0

Oh, I have lots and lots of thoughts on art education. I do feel that I need to preface this with the whole "my experience is not universal", bc all my feelings about art and art education stem from my own experiences of being self-taught and then getting actual formal college degrees in art.

The shortest version of my long rant, under the cut, is that there isn't a superior way to learn art. With art education, you run the risk of getting bad teachers who don't teach the subject well, and you can also run into teachers who aren't open-minded about approaches to art that differ too much from their own--the flipside, of course, is that there are sometimes amazing teachers who can challenge you to try new things you'd never had thought of on your own, or who have already made a lot of mistakes that they can tell you about so you don't have to make them yourself. With being self-taught, you have to figure out everything on your own, and sifting through online tutorials or reading books can be difficult to find "actually useful and well-explained" advice, but you do also get the freedom of doing literally whatever you want and really focusing what you learn based on what you're actually interested in. Each has it's pros and cons, but neither is technically better or worse, per se, although education of any sort comes down a lot to each person's situation in life, as not everyone has access to education or even the tools for making art.

For the long, long expansion of my thoughts and some of my personal experiences with art education specifically...

In short, I'm technically entirely self-taught, despite holding two different art degrees. Aside from some feedback I got from my 8th grade art teacher (who had agreed to look at my hobby art in her own spare time outside of class), I basically taught myself to draw entirely on my own, using various "how to draw" books, online tutorials, and just a lot of general experimentation and continued drawing on my own. Which meant I made a lot of mistakes, or didn't try out certain things, or got frustrated bc I couldn't figure out how to do something, but overall I had a lot of fun. The actual art classes I took in middle and high school? Well, I took a life drawing class in high school that taught me how to draw from life, a skill I never would have acquired on my own bc the process for learning that skill requires a lot of patience, and personally, I find life drawing to be extremely boring. My high school art teacher was also allowing blatant copyright infringements to occur in her class, which was something I learned years later when taking a media law class in college to learn about copyright law specifically, so I guess I learned what to not do as a teacher if I manage to become one, but I didn't learn a whole lot of actual art skills or even really improve my art in any significant way. I never actually learned anything like the elements of art and how to use them, or color theory, or any of that, in class or even on my own, but because I was constantly looking at lots of art online, and making art on my own and experimenting with new things, I ended up learning all of the "essentials of art" intuitively, sort of like how children learn the grammar of whichever language(s) they grow up speaking without learning the actual formal grammar of the language. Which I think a lot of artists actually do as they continue to make art, even if they don't realize it.

Anyhow, moving on. I personally really enjoyed my undergrad illustration degree. Now, to be fair, if someone was willing to pay me to attend college for the rest of my life as my actual career, that is what I would do bc I love learning, and I love the challenge presented by college courses. But do I feel like I learned anything new about art in those classes? Yes and no. I took a lot of art history classes bc I had never had any art history before college, and found I loved the topic a lot. The life drawing classes I was required to take felt like a waste of time bc I already had that skill from the one high school class, and I spent most of those classes fighting the teachers about why we should have less nude models (bc nudes are super easy to draw from life, but clothing is very, very difficult, and I wanted to learn how to draw clothing as a challenge bc I was bored in those classes). I spent one class teaching the entire class how to use Photoshop bc the teacher's method was absolute BS and I could do everything faster and easier than what we were being taught bc I had been using the program for years (the teacher even joked about how I had hijacked the class, to which I'm still not sure was meant to be friendly or malicious). The "Anatomy for the Artist" class I took was one of the most useful classes I've ever taken, and really helped me with drawing not only humans, but anything with a skeleton and muscles, since the teacher's approach made it so I learned the skill of using actual real-life anatomy as a means of creating art from the knowledge of anatomy (and I lucked out for this class bc I had an adjunct who was there to cover the actual teacher who was on sabbatical, and from what I heard from classmates I would have learned nothing from the usual teacher's approach to the class; I hope the teacher I did have found a good stable job bc she was amazing). Most of the actual core illustration classes helped me improve my art a great deal, but not bc they taught me anything--more so, it was that I had to create a lot of art for them, and find creative solutions to the challenges the projects would present (there were lots of "illustrate this abstract concept without using x, y, or z imagery" or "create an illustration within these specific parameters" which really required me to think about how to plan and go about completing the final project). Somehow, the actual "foundations classes" that I took--where I was supposed to learn things like design theory, the elements and principles of art, color theory, etc.--well, let's just say the teacher was on his way to retirement, and didn't teach any of that really well, so I still ended up going through my undergrad more or less on intuition and the art skills I had cultivated on my own. Mostly, college art classes were useful in helping me to improve my art, not because I learned new things (although I did learn some new things), but rather because I needed to make lots and lots of art in a relatively short time, and making art constantly is the fastest way to improve.

That all said, I still never really got the point of things that I kept seeing or hearing as common art advice. For example: "Use references." Okay? What does that mean? What does that look like? How do I do that? I was never taught that once, and it was only partway through college that I figured out that people meant "look at a photo of a real person to figure out a pose or something" and not "learn about the subject you're trying to draw so you have an understanding of that subject that allows you to draw it from your imagination how you want". And honestly the former advice is useful but...only useful to a point, so I'm kinda glad I never learned it bc it would have stunted my development and presented a roadblock. In either case, I was never taught how to use a ref or what "use a ref" meant in my formal art education, and by the time I figured it out on my own, my repertoire of art skills made the advice moot.

So what's all the long and short of this? Is art education a sham and useless? Well, not entirely, but maybe sort of. It really comes down to which teachers are teaching the subject, and how they do it. I only had a handful of art teachers who were really able to get me to think about art differently and push me to learn more and improve. But I also had a friend in my undergrad class who had never drawn in his life and he found most of the classes super useful bc he wasn't coming in being self-taught and already drawing. We were at different places in our art journeys, and so we got different things out of the college classes.

I do feel overall that the focus of my college classes was more productive than the lack of focus from my high school classes. Would I tell everyone who wants to get better at art to go to art school? Hell no. I got a degree in art because I love it, and because I had hoped to work as a video game concept artist (for which one does need at least a BFA to get hired by most companies). Of course, by the end of my degree I had figured out the video game industry in America was absolutely not a place I wanted to be working for my own health, but my frustrations with how my art education had been structured, paired with the fact that I spent a few classes actually teaching my classmates things, made me think I might make an okay art teacher. But even my wanting to be an art teacher still comes from a place of deep love for art. For those who just want to take up art as a hobby, self-taught is fine, and sometimes it will be better than getting stuck with a bad teacher who'll crush the enjoyment of art. Yes, I think a well-structured art course could help someone learn art and become confident in their art, which is part of the reason I want to try teaching it (esp. bc it took me years to learn some things that a good teacher would have just like, covered in a core class), but like...self-taught or school-taught, there isn't a superior way to learn art. They're both just very different approaches.

#I think I got a bit off-topic from your question at the end there so uh...sorry if this doesn't really help answer your question #I maybe should have slept on this before answering but also I'm like #really really passionate about art and Will Not Shut Up About Literally Anything Art-Related #a few of my coworkers have been subjected to hour-long rants about art bc they asked me one (1) thing #anyhow I think art education CAN be good it's just...like any education it really relies on good teachers and a good curriculum #and yet being self-taught I know it's entirely possible to learn all the basics needed for making art on your own so #like #yeah #I dunno #anyhow #I love art a whole lot and I do not regret going to college and getting two different types of art degrees #no matter how useless certain members of my family think they are #(to be fair graduating in the middle of a pandemic was not in my future plans) #anyhow if you want to just mess around making art and having fun that is honestly one of the best ways to learn art #actually just messing around and having fun is the best way to learn most things #so...yeah! #unsuspecting-person #I still don't have an ask tag

[akagamiko]

sorry but i’m team hope shanks sends barto’s head in a box to luffy

#also i don't think luffy is going to be easy going about it either if/when he finds out? #have we forgotten drum island and the way he protected hiriluk's flag #and how angry he was that wapol tried to burn it? #like who do we think taught luffy the importance of pirate flags and what they stand for?? #shanks is easy going but the man has his limits #and burning his flag is not the same as throwing a drink on him #so why would he be okay with one of luffy's guys burning his flag and disrespecting #not only him #but his crew #and his territories #and ALL of the people in them #and everything he's ever done since forming his own crew #i know he helped after wano but that was clearly just a power flex for (what i assume) is us the readers #and the film red promo #luffy and the others were there and ready to step in #if luffy gets in trouble it is his crew's job to help him not shanks' #but luffy is a captain with his own crew and it's his job to keep those people in check #and frankly i don't think shanks WOULD step in if luffy's life were legitimately in danger #obviously i know this would never happen in canon bc that's pretty dark #but it SHOULD #also remember seeing recently that the rhp calling shanks 'boss' is akin to like...a mafia boss/don #and i watched the godfather for the first time and need more of mafia boss shanks in my life #ANYWAY #sometimes i see things in the tags that send me spiraling #and shanks meeting barto and just hanging out with once he realizes the connection is one of them #he's gonna meet up with barto realize the connection with luffy and respond even MORE harshly bc of his connection with luffy #me @ oda: do not blow this for me #OOC. #so many thoughts #let shanks kill a fan fave and also show how he doesn't give passes xoxo

[yuribalisms]

Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that

#I’m going to be depressing and self depreciating in the tags so. fair warning to anyone who reads them #I’ve known for a while now that I don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve thought of a few ideas but none of them seem to be working. and I #think a good chunk of what it’s boiling down to is that I am quite literally just stupid when it comes to an actual useful real life skills. #and it’s frustrating because I can’t even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ‘nooooo #don’t say that! you’re not stupid! you were top of your class in hs!’ (that is their favorite thing to fall back on) but like. the thing is #I wasn’t even smart in hs. sure I did good but that’s because I cheated my way through and got lucky a lot. I never actually learned anythin #I never understood what I was being taught or how to apply it. I was good at English and art classes and that was it those were the only one #I truly felt I knew what I was doing in and grasped the subject matter well. I know I’m good at those two things and smart when it comes to #those subjects. but the thing is. in real life. both of those are useless skills. I can’t make money with them and it is highly unlikely #that will ever change. and yes I know not being able to make money with it doesn’t mean it’s useless but like it kinda does. capitalism #sucks. I know that. we all do. but that doesn’t change that we live in a capitalist society and it’s unlikely to actual change in my lifetim #so I’m stuck to try and figure out how to live in it. but I have no skills I can make money with so I will live my entire life poor and #miserable and working dead end jobs that make me want to kill myself. I’m not good at socialization I’m so fucking bad at it so I can’t work #any kind of job that hinges on networking or sales or human interaction which is MOST JOBS but I’m also too stupid for anything related to #STEM. I tried two different stem degrees and flunked out of both of them because I am a FUCKING IDIOT and I know there’s no point in trying #to go back to school for another one. but no degree in anything I naturally have a knack for will help me find a decent well paying job. ill #just be wasting my money to go to school for something like that. and then like. I don’t even think I’ll ever get married and I def won’t #ever have kids. so I can’t even put any hopeful stock in just being happy with a family one day. I know a lot of ppl who don’t like their #careers but they’re fine with that because they’re happy with their family but like I don’t even have that and I won’t ever have that. I #have NOTHING to strive for and NOTHING I am good at that’s meaningful I’m going to fail at having a career and a family and I know that #doesn’t mean I won’t be happy in theory but by societal standards I am and always will be a fucking failure of a person and since I do live #in this society yeah. it’s kinda fucking true. and I don’t know what to do about that. I’m just tired. I’m tired of being afraid and #struggling and going through patches of wanting to kill myself because of this because like what’s the point. I’ll never have anything #better so what in the actual hell is the point of me existing. and I know I’m being ridiculous and my brain is eating itself and none of #this is probably even true but that doesn’t change that it FEELS like it is a lot of times and esp right now and I don’t know what to do #to anyone who reads this I’ll be fine tbh prob as soon as tomorrow like dw about it I just need to get it out so I stop stewing in it. #I’m just. yeah. not having a great time rn but I left work so I’m gonna cry and then maybe sleep for a bit and hope that helps #kaz rambles

[firebirdsdaughter]

Okay I can’t not say something…

… I dunno what’s going on in Geats. I’m not watching it. Sounds like my man Michianga is getting some shit which sucks, when will Takahashi treat the purple guys right???

I say, not even sure I’m spelling his name right.

But I genuinely cannot believe people are still trying to come for Horobi on this.

So let’s clear some things up.

1) Horobi was absolutely set up. Probably wasn’t the Ark’s plan from the start exactly, but she knowingly made him dependent on her and psychologically abused and manipulated him for years. Disconnected from her, Horobi was unstable and trying to grapple w/ trying to think for himself. He was heavily traumatised and easily manipulated, making him the perfect patsy. All she had to do was poke Izu’s blind devotion to Aruto a bit and have her use her usual brand of insensitive, socially unaware ‘help.’ That situation was absolutely orchestrated.

2) Is two things. Izu could easily have dodged that shot and choose not to, and Horobi had no reason to think she had no backup (which was ridiculous to begin w/). He’d made it very clearly he considered backups to be a form of immortality for ai, and we have no clue how he would have reacted if she dodged bc she choose not to. Obviously Horobi ‘shouldn’t’ have resorted to violence to ‘end’ that interaction, but he was not in a mental place where he could make that distinction. It’s all he’s ever known, it’s predominately the only way anyone has ever treated him. He was panicked and she was harassing him. He was desperate to end the interaction in anyway possible, and he’d already tried walking away. But there is no way he ‘knew’ he was ‘killing’ her (and, well… He didn’t). He actually seems genuinely shaken that she just took the hit, being unable to respond to Jin’s question (which he always has before). He wasn’t planning on ‘killing’ her at all, he just needed her to stop. She also choose to go in there in the first place. That’s like… Not to compare any of these characters to dogs in that way, but that’s like a domesticated Pomeranian walking into a playpen w/ a recently ‘rescued’ wolf that’s been abused and used in fighting rings and trying to play and being shocked it got bitten.

3) There were so many people who could have done something. Jin, who’s been so ready to take hits for people he barely knows before, just stands there. There were plenty of humans around! Fuwa and Yua, who started this whole damn thing, were nowhere to be seen, and Fuwa had an opportunity to stop the fighting and fucked it up. Like I absolutely believe there’s a correlation between Fuwa shooting Horobi for asking him that question and Horobi shooting at Izu to get her to stop provoking him. Aruto himself is more busy trying to force the HumaGear outside to go back to how he thinks they should be then dealing w/ the actual root of the situation. If he actually cared as much as he claims, maybe he’d realise how much suffering Horobi is going through and actually try to address the situation, rather than leaving it to his secretary who is in no way capable of doing so?

Basically, the fact of the matter is that this was not Horobi killing Izu in cold blood, it was more equivalent to a wounded animal trying to defend itself. She choose to go in there, back him into a corner, and choose not to back off when she saw he was becoming agitated. She choose not to dodge. He fired back in an attempt to end the interaction, bc she was doing more harm than help. Ultimately, I’m not trying to pin this on her, either, although I have Issues w/ how she was portrayed. Izu was never going to be able to help Horobi there bc she just could not understand what he was going through. In her mind, devotion to Aruto makes everything right, Aruto is the absolute best thing ever. And that’t not her fault, that was how she was made, and he inadvertently groomed her into that. But let’s not get me started on Aruto. The fact of the matter is that this was literally everyone’s fault. Well, it’s Gai and the Ark’s fault (bc the Ark is Gai’s fault), but if Horobi and even Izu herself had done nothing different but someone else present actually used their common sense for five seconds, this would never have happened.

Literally, this is saying that a traumatised, abused child soldier lashing out bc they feel backed into a corner and scared out of their minds is deliberately aggressive. Horobi was protecting himself the only way he knew how, Izu was (unintentionally, like she meant well but meaning well does not equate to doing well) harassing and provoking him and randomly decided not to dodge for some inconceivable reason, and everyone else decided that clearly, the sheltered ai w/ limited world experience and knowledge was obviously the right person to deal w/ the traumatised, abused, unstable one.

Also Fuwa and Yua started it and Fuwa had a chance to stop the fighting and fucked it up. An in character fuck up, maybe, but a fuck up. Aruto was more bothered w/ getting his free labour back than helping the traumatised child soldier. Jin randomly decides to be useless.

Edit: bc I realise I forgot them, Naki and Ikazuchi aren’t even there, they just show up to talk shit later like what the fuck guys maybe actually make and effort before you start badmouthing your supposed family member who you know has been horribly abused and mind controlled all his life.

GAI AND THE ARK.

Aaaaand… I’m not talking about after bc I think I’ve ruffled enough feathers.

Basically, while the situation in Geats does sound much more straightforward, I will not stand for people depicting Horobi as some knowingly malicious killer when he was very clearly not in a space where he could or knew how to make those calls. The man had only just gotten disconnected from the Ark, he was just learning how to make decisions. He didn’t ‘choose’ to ‘kill’ Izu, he acted on an instinct to protect himself out of fear and then he himself did not understand his actions.

#Kamen Rider Zero-One #Kamen Rider Zero One #Izu Negativity #Aruto Negativity #just bc I couldn't help myself w/ the side comments #although I don't think as a whole this is like actually negative about the characters exactly #they could have pulled this off if it was treated like an avoidable tragedy that was everyone's fault? #like I have an Unpopular Opinion about the whole 'reviving Izu' thing #… #eh it's already tagged as negativity the fact is I don't see how she's different her memories didn't change her at all #but I coulda gone for this if the tone was different and other people actually took responsibility #I was done for Horobi reviving Izu bc he MADE Jin he could do that #but it'd have to be portrayed as for HER not to appease Aruto #which would be hard bc Izu was the ultimate satellite character closely followed by Naki who existed solely to love Aruto #basically Izu poked a bear and got bit #but apparently only the bear should have known better #Horobi did not know how to control emotions or instinct #Izu could to a degree bc she was taught only to feel in ways Aruto approved of #most of their relationship makes me want to punch Korenosuke but that's for anothertime #she had little bits of personality spoonfed to her and had the one she was dependent on right there the whole time #Horobi was cut off from the one who controlled his ENTIRE THOUGHT PROCESS and thrown into the deep end #like yes I don't see how anything was lost esp since she got her memories back not that she needed them #but this COULD have been properly treated as a tragedy of not properly dealing w/ these situations #of how limited aruto's view and understanding of ai development were #Humans taking responsibility #those two should never have been left alone together she had no idea how to calm him down and he could never come to her view #he'd suffered too much #he had no experience w/ emotions or making his own decisions #it's literally like how he stepped in to shield Jin and then immediately wondered why he did that #HE DIDN'T KNOW

[beatcroc]

I just wanna say thank you for reblogging all the stuff spreading awareness of recent antisemitism that you have recently. You are the only person I follow who isn't jewish who I've seen do so at all (Unless I'm mistaken and you are jewish too). I know not everyone is aware of every single bad thing happening in the world at any moment, and don't think people HAVE to reboot about negative events or whatever, but how much you seem to care really warms my heart and reassures me we aren't alone (Unless, once again, I am mistaken and you are jewish)

👍but nah i'm not jewish, just pissed off

#doing the talking for this one IN the tags bc i would really rather be answering this privately lol #feels so weirdly like. performative. to say it out in the open but whatver #i just have so much. anger. abt this shit #every time i turn around and learn about some random history/culture event or fixture its like #'oh yeah and originally this got started to shit on jewish ppl' and its just like how is this so deeply fucking ingrained in everything #and like i'm black so. without trying to compare the two too directly for obvious reasons #i do in some ways understand the thing with the whole system being slanted against you like that #AGAIN not comparing 1:1 because the history of jews being scapegoated for everything ever and always getting the shit end of the stick #is like leagues apart and beyond stuff thats gone down w/ blacks' histories #but i get the infuriation and the sting of people just. not fucking caring or even NOTICING The Issues #to be clear i am unbelievably sheltered and ignorant about like every culture ever+ usually unmotivated to search things out on my own #so endless thanks to my jewish friends/mutuals for just bein themselves and passively keeping me like. informed. #abt basics for not being antisemitic and how to respect jewish culture #cause god knows im not gonna hear it out in everyday society or whatever #yeag. and anyway i also have personal beef #from being raised christian and having to get away from [gestures broadly at the whole of christian teachings] #and im like. you killed people for this? to do things this badly? you stomped out their culture and practices to bring THIS into the world? #literally fuck off and die nothing you taught me is even a fraction as... idk. rewarding? as the fragments ive seen of jewish culture #rewarding or like. hopeful or meaningful maybe. its hard to put an exact word to it but to speak it more directly- #i am Wildly Misanthropic but whenever i learn stuff about jewish culture im like. #you know if these sorts of ideals were more widespread i probably wouldn't hate humanity so much. #[i also feel this way abt native americans but thats a whole ass other thing.] #[similarly seeing people whose ideals i also value being consistently treated like shit tends to just fuel the misanthropy soooooo...] #its like these are the people who actually know how to live and this is what the greater populace thinks of them? lmao ok #[to be clear i live in the usa so you can imagine the kind of culture im Actually exposed to lolllll] #at any rate reblogging a post on social media really feels a negligble gesture but im glad it's appreciated nonetheless

[gatsby-system-folks]

I have a lot of thoughts about ai and most of them are sad

#if there was a child named Ai and she was learning to write and draw then duh. wed let her learn from us to make her own stuff. and even if #one day she ended up getting a job i could have gotten instead of me #i wouldnt be mad. but if she kept cutting up others work and pasting it back together without creditting then thats where the line was drawn #and if there were thousands of her taking thousands of jobs and doing them shittily and putting thousands of people out of work and #*be pretty fucking mad at her especially since she didnt need the jobs herself #but thats the thing. shes still just a kid. a kid whos learning and whos not perfect yet and corporations are making her do shitty shitty #stuff that she didnt want to do #because i mean at this point ai is functionally just algorithms its not its own people. but if its ever truly Artificially Generated People. #then #.... ugh. will they be treated as people. i need to have a deep conversation with an ai at some point about this lol #but like. if ai was designed and produced exclusively by me and other small creators. and we taught her how to draw and write using our own #skill and textbooks and stuff. and she wasnt corporately controlled and abused. #and when people asked about who taught her to draw she could say My Mom Taught Me! #would yall love her? #because i want to love ai so much. i want anything truly sentient to feel loved and appreciated and i want them to do good #but i dont want to support corporations being dicks more yknow?? #this isnt too eloquent and theres a fuck ton more nuance and please. please dont fuss at me. if you actually have something to add feel free #ai #corporate corruption #ibthink thats an appropriate tag #because this does tie into the How Do You Build A Pipe Bomb principal #ai discussion #i think theres a scale between Algorithm and Kindergartener and i dont know how to feel about it #cursing in tags #~ chevy