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ourloveisforthelovely · 1 year

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The Words "Best Friends" Become Redefined (one shot)

Regulus Black AU

Summary: You had been Regulus' friend since childhood and now his mistress. The war had changed many things, Regulus among them. Now its time to decide if you should put your self-worth over missing someone who was gone.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M

Song in Chapter: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

_______

You lay in satin sheets watching Regulus dress. The clock on the wall read 11:30 pm. As usual, Regulus was done in less than an hour. It seemed, lately, that when the two of you met up for sex it wasn’t lasting as long as the time before that. Every time it seemed once Regulus got what he came for he was done. That was it, goodbye the end

Taking a breath, you looked back to your friend, lover, whatever Regulus was to you. Your heart ached as your eyes reached the dark mark on his arm. Regulus’s choices that been the frequent topic of all of the arguments that the two of you had. Had someone told you a year ago that this would be the predicament that you would find yourself in, you would have punched them. Never in a million years would you ever think that your best friend…the best friend that you had since 1st year…the man that you loved would ever be one of them. Yet, here he was and here you were trudging along after him.

You weren’t completely sure where the lines between friendship and lovers had blurred. Sleeping with Regulus had started months maybe a year ago. Sex was all that it was. Regulus had never once made a mention of making things official. He never even said anything romantic to you unless it was about how tight you were or how perfect your tits were.

Yet another thing that I never thought would happen with Regulus…

Regulus acting like you were some common piece of ass was something that never crossed your mind. When you began sleeping with Regulus, it was to provide him comfort. If you were comforting him, he wasn’t chasing someone else for comfort. You were providing him with what he needed and maybe, just maybe, he would reward you with what you wanted the most.

Keep dreaming. He would never date a Lupin in the open.

You frowned at the thought. Was there something wrong with your family? No, not in your eyes. In Walburga and Orion’s eyes, however, you were trash.

“Stop looking so god damn depressed, will you? It makes me wonder why I bother coming to see you.”

You looked up at Regulus’ harsh words. That’s another thing. Regulus was nothing like himself. He wasn’t your funny, thoughtfully caring best friend. Now he was cold, cruel, and hurtful. Yet again, you wondered why you trudged after him begging for a moment of his time. Were you afraid to let him go? Yes. You could easily admit that. Even with his cruel words and volatile temper, you weren’t prepared to let him go…at least not yet.

“I’m sorry, Regulus. This war…everything is so messed up. Can’t you stay tonight? It's late and we haven’t gotten to spend much time together in a long while.”

You said, before letting the sheets drop from your chest. Maybe seeing your bare breasts would be enough to appease the beast within Regulus. You were, after all, the one who comforted him when he needed it.

“I don’t have the time. Nothing is messed up. The dark lord will win soon enough. You need to stop being such a whining wimp.”

Pressing your lips together, you took a few moments before speaking.

“Is all that you have to say to me negativity? Is nothing that I do, outside of bed good enough for you?”

Regulus finished buttoning up his shirt. He knew that he was being cruel to you but did nothing to stop it. In Regulus’ mind, if he kept you pushed away he was keeping you safe. You wouldn’t be seeing the horrible things that he was doing or what his family really was. What he didn’t see was the foundation of your relationship beginning to crack and fracture.

“I’ll say anything to get a piece of your ass.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Is falling in love so bad? You make it sound so dreadful.”

Regulus moved to fix his bed-ravaged curls.

“Love isn’t real, Y/n. It's some made up emotion to woo silly little girls. Besides why waste your time? It’s shit. I don’t want someone whining after me wanting things that I don’t want. It sounds like a nightmare. Waking up to the same blasted person day after day…listening to them bitch because you don’t live up to some fairy tale being that one’s mind created. I would rather off myself.”

Had Regulus been paying attention to you at all; he would have seen how your hopeful expression fell to sadness.

“I thought that you loved me once upon a time.”

Regulus chuckled before turning to look at you.

“Poor little princess. I suggest getting over yourself or I’ll find another girl to keep me company. While whoever she would be wouldn’t please me as you do…it would be nice not to listen to your whining.”

You stood up and began searching for your own clothes. If this was how Regulus wanted things to be then you would just go home. You would go back home to your own friends. Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily never treated you like this. You weren’t just an option to them. They didn’t threaten to replace you when you were sad or questioning your worth. No, not your friends. They would instead go out of their way to make sure that you knew how much you were valued.

“Do whatever you wish then.”

You replied. Regulus tugged on his wool coat bore, again, rolling his eyes.

“Y/n, if I didn’t care about you then I wouldn’t be fucking you bare risking everything just to be close to you. Lucky for us, you're the smart one that thinks to use birth control potions…we would be really fucked.”

You turned to look at Regulus one last time. Something told you that this would be the last time that you saw him. This would be the last time that you lay in bed savoring how he made you feel. This. Was. It.

“So lucky for me to go home with your come dripping down my thighs. Goodbye, Regulus.”

You walked from the hotel room without another word. When Regulus didn’t come after you, that spoke volumes.

This was it.

For the next few weeks, you avoided Regulus like the plague. He had been sending owls requesting to see you. In Regulus, mind everything was fine. The words exchanged at the last meeting clearly meant nothing and you would be ready to entertain him as soon as he was free.

You never responded. With each owl’s arrival came a letter with cold scathing words, insults, and whatever Regulus thought would con you into seeing him. You had nearly given in when he sent a letter along with an emerald bracelet.

Now he thinks bribing me will work.

You thought before tying the little box back to the owl’s leg and returning the gift to its sender. Had it been a few weeks ago, you would have been thrilled with the bracelet. This was Regulus showing some emotion other than only an interest in sex. Now, however, you wanted no part of it.

Heartache…

That was the one emotion that you had. Your heart did ache for Regulus. It ached for your Regulus…your best friend. This new one sucked. You craved your best friend…the best friend that you would probably never see again.

“Hey girl, hey.”

Sirius’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up from the owl that was now flying away as Sirius came in and sat down.

“Hey boy, hey.”

You replied, earning a smile from your friend. Sirius put his feet up on the table. The two of you knew that Remus would have a fit if he saw Sirius with his feet on the table but he wasn’t there.

“Now that is a greeting. So, I was coming to see if you wanted to come out to the pub? Remus, James, and Lily will meet us there. It will kind of be like old times before the world went to shite.”

You leaned back into the sofa before nodding. Going out sounded nice. Seeing your friends was just what you needed.

“That sounds great. I need a drink and some shitty bar music.”

Sirius smacked his hands together before standing up.

“Let's go!”

Half an hour later, you sat in between James and Remus while Sirius was having way too much fun listening to Bon Jovi. Taking a drink of the fire whiskey that Remus put in front of you, you slowly were beginning to feel like your old self.

“This is some good stuff.”

Remus commented downing the rest of his drink and signaling for another. You turned to your older brother and smiled.

“Shame on you for encouraging your baby sister to drink booze.”

Remus chuckled.

“We can all have crazy nights every once and a while. Besides, I think we all need it.”

You couldn’t agree more. In the past month, the order had suffered some big setbacks. Dorcas and Marlene both had died while the Longbottoms were now out of their mind courtesy of Bellatrix. All in all, it had been the biggest shittiest month of your life. Losing friends and your lover definitely topped most of the other bad things that you had been through.

“I can drink to that.”

You said while Remus downed his other drink. Sirius sauntered over and held his hand out to you.

“Are you proposing to me or something? If you are, you have the wrong Lupin. My brother is off looking for another drink.”

Sirius snorted. You couldn’t help but feel some joy at the smile on his face. It seemed like it had been forever since Sirius smiled last. You hadn’t realized just how much you had missed his shitty jokes and weird humor until it wasn’t there every day.

“I know which Lupin you are, sugar bean. I am merely requesting that you dance with me because no one else will.”

James helped you stand up and shoved you toward Sirius.

“Go dance with him before he asks me to. I’m too drunk and will fuck up his nice shoes.”

You stuck your tongue out at James before going out with Sirius as a slower song came on. Wrapping your arms around Sirius’ shoulders, you lay your head against his chest.

He feels like Regulus.

That thought alone made your heart freeze. You hadn’t realized just how much Sirius reminded you of Regulus. He held you the same, had the same cologne…and the song on the radio playing definitely didn’t help… Oh, god…

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car, speeding so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us and your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder. And I-I had a feeling that I belonged. I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You didn’t say anything but you were two seconds short of having the biggest panic attack of your life. Thankfully, Sirius’ voice stopped you.

“He’s an idiot.”

“Who?”

You asked, looking up at your new best friend curiously. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“My brother. He’s an idiot for treating you like trash and letting you walk away. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him and he blew it. It was all him not you.”

Your eyes widened. Sirius knew…SIRIUS FUCKING KNEW!

“I feel like it was all my fault in some way. I miss him, Sirius. I miss him so badly.”

Sirius was frowning as he tucked your head under his chin.

“I know, kid. I miss him too.”

You were quiet for a few moments as you fought the tears that were beginning to stream down your face.

“Don’t tell Remus. Please don’t tell him…or the others. I’m not ready for them to know.”

Sirius was quiet a moment as his eyes locked on Regulus across the room. His younger brother was watching them with a death glare on his face. If Regulus started throwing hexes, Sirius wouldn’t at all be surprised. Sirius gave Regulus one final glare as Regulus turned and walked out of the bar in a furious huff.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t heard anything from you.”

Sirius replied. You didn’t need to know that Regulus was there. In Sirius’ mind, all that you needed to know was your friends had your back and always would.

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