#not gay not not gay but a secret third thing

[agnesandhilda]

when I used to do arnis (filipino stick fighting/martial arts, which has a handful of different names, but that’s what the group I practiced with called it) we practiced chokeholds and I, understandably, was kind of freaked out about the idea of being choked even though I understood it wasn’t real.

we were doing triangle chokes. to clarify how that works, you’d be facing someone (we’d usually run through some brief drill before this to simulate a “fight” that someone would “lose” and end up positioned for the chokehold) with their throat pressed to your bicep and your stick against the left side of their neck, resting against your own shoulder, to keep them in place. your stick and arm together would make a triangle shape with someone’s head in the center---that’s where the name comes from---and you’d press in against the side of their neck, not directly on the front of the throat but to one of the soft, fleshy sides on either side of the neck to restrict blood flow. (and, fun fact, not all chokeholds work by targeting the airway! some, like triangle chokes, affect circulation)

so we pair off to practice and I’m with this dude I’ll call andrew, a mild-mannered older man, and he walks me through it. I tell him I’m nervous, and he explains that I can tap out, (which is common practice for martial arts, and means exactly what it sounds like--you tap your partner to signal that they stop. I had done this before for exercises related to joint locks and takedowns, so I was already familiar with the concept, though I was never nervous for those) whenever I feel like.

anyway, I’m still skittish, but I’ve known andrew for like a year at this point and know he’s a responsible guy to partner with for drills, so whatever. we’re doing this. we get into position. he’s got me in the crook of his arm, and he starts to press down very, very slowly. now, if you’ve never been put in a triangle choke, I’ll tell you that it feels like there’s pressure building up in your face, inside your head---or at least that’s how I remember it feeling now, years after last doing it, so take that with a grain of salt if you want. anyway, I let that feeling of pressure build a little, and then tap his arm twice, solidly. and he lets me go on the spot. 

we do that a few more times. he catches me, gradually increases the pressure on my neck, and whenever I feel like I’ve hit this natural threshold of discomfort I tap out and he releases me instantly. at some point, I think, oh, he’ll stop whenever I tell him to, and it was oddly empowering.

like, I know it sounds weird to say, but I was what, sixteen at the time? and like most kids I had never gotten much of a say in what happened to me or my body---you can’t dress too boyish, it’s rude and improper, (even if I just wanted to wear what cis boys would in that same situation), you can’t refuse physical affection in polite company, even if it’s from people you despise---it was novel to me to be able to give my no and have it respected instantly and without question.

andrew’s turn to practice ends, and mine starts. I put him in the chokehold and he corrects my stance so I do it properly, and I start to actually choke the guy. now, if letting someone practice their chokehold on you is nerve-wracking so is being the one to do the choke, in an equal and opposite way---I did martial arts for years, and I never got entirely comfortable with hitting another person with force, even though they always consented to it! fuck, I do taekwondo now (sort of, I’m bad about actually showing up), and I’m still hesitant to strike up until my partner pretty much up and tells me to go for it already. 

anyway, I’m a bit shy about this whole choking business, so I go in slow as a snail (to be fair, you’re always supposed to go slow for safety reasons during any chokeholds or joint locks or takedowns, but I’m going extra slow), pressing into the side of andrew’s throat with my stick, and after several moments he taps my shoulder once, firmly, and I break the triangle to let him out. 

we do this until my turn to practice the chokehold is over, and then the guy who runs the class stops everybody to tell us to break up and find new partners to practice with, and I make a beeline for one of my favorite partners, one of the few other women in the class, and one of only two female black belts, which left her as one of my only options for a role model. I’ll call her edith! edith was blunt, funny, a no-nonsense teacher, and I thought she was the coolest. 

edith had been practicing there for fifteen years and, unlike andrew, who was a straightforward, no-surprises kind of guy, would mess with you. she’d sometimes break out of the routine of the drill we were supposed to be doing to try something else she knew---because she’d been practicing arnis for about as long as I’d been alive at the time, and blindside me. I remember once we were doing this drill, a fast-paced one, swaying around the room, our sticks clashing loudly, and she snaked her stick around my arm to catch my elbow and pull me in, twist my arm behind my back, and tease me. she said I was stiff and predictable, which was embarrassing advice to get, but also hard to be upset about when the whole situation was fun for me. 

anyway. I went over to her immediately so she could choke me next

#bolo speaks #to clarify yes I was attracted to her I think but it wasn't exclusively about that like she was also super cool generally #not gay not not gay but a secret third thing #anyway. I really loved doing combat sports even though I did eventually quit bc the atmosphere around them was too misogynistic #and there are a lot of interesting ideas floating around about them if you want to be a dork about it! like I bring up body autonomy and #consent a lot here #years ago I read this rly interesting article about prizefighting and consensual violence and capitalism that I'll link here if I find it #the Themes the Motifs etc etc etc

[oddlylongtelephonecord]

vox using an outdated phrase (pivot to video) vs alastor using modern phrases (he’s pissy, that’s the tea) in Stayed Gone means so much to me

(“pivot to video” isn’t a very old phrase—it’s only been out of use for like a decade—but while it hasn’t been all that long, by definition, it’s def outdated, especially in the tech world.)

it shows really well how the two are mirrors of each other in that they aren’t identical and they aren’t opposites, but they are connected to each other. There are a ton of parallels (character designs, old vs new, “video killed the radio star,” though it is almost switched in this case, etc.) which make it like super fucking obvious that they know each other very well.

also the fact that every other time we have seen alastor mocking others, he does it in a very disconnected and uncaring way, but with vox he is clearly trying to rile him up and is almost childishly arguing with him. There was no attempt to actually ‘win’ the argument, he was just trying to piss him off. He didn’t abandon his typical traits obviously, but he and vox’s public argument thing def felt more like petty bickering between two people who are very close but are also on weird terms and no one is really sure exactly where they stand with each other (not even them lmao)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin vox #gay? #enemies? #some weird secret third thing? #who knows

[ethogirlsgogames]

"I just really like miniaturizing things in Minecraft. No other reason" -etho on why he made statues of his boysituationship

#not gay or queerbait but a secret third thing #etho #mcyt #ethoslab #hermitcraft #smallishbeans

[infinite-orangepeel]

incorrect eddie pt. 8 million

#do i want to date him or get therapy with him #or a secret third thing #both #xoxo gay goth wife metal baby angel princess #his hair is so pretty #eddie munson #incorrect eddie munson #incorrect eddie munson quotes #eddie munson incorrect quotes #steddie #incorrect steddie #joseph quinn #fruity four #incorrect stranger things quotes #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #eddie munson my beloved #eddie munson crack #steddie brainrot

[snalsupremacy]

While reading TGCF I kept a character chart so I wouldn't get lost on the plot and it VERY quickly derailed into my sassy ass gay opinions on each of them (1/2)

#gay person try not to be funny challange level impossible #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #xie lian #hua cheng #shi qingxuan #fuck it im not gonna taf all of them #oK WAIT ONE MORE #ling wen #OK IM DONE #snal posting #mxtx #also fun fact about the last one: #so in the beggining i wrote cinnamon roll #then after the ghost city arc i wrote war criminal #then after the first flashback i changed it to the secret third thing

[cloudofsoup]

i cant stop thinking ab louie and olimar’s relationship dynamic. golden hearted middle aged family man being forced by his company to explore an incredibly dangerous planet away from his wife and children (and his entire species for that matter) and his only two companions on this trip are a snarky AI who is basically just his corrupt company’s mouthpiece… and some young adult guy with no real attachments to his planet save for his nana (god knows where his parents are).

olimar cant stand being away from his family and louie has barely any experience with one. olimar is a chatterbox who is enamored with the dangerous world around him and louie is practically mute but lights up at anything relating to culinary arts. they’re so fucking weird but work so well together is anyone else seeing my vision.

#louie pikmin #captain olimar #pikmin #soup speaks #louimar #???if this counts as louimar idk #i think its a cute ship but i don’t see it as a black and white ‘theyre gay they make out and stuff’ #i ship it as in like ‘the only piece of home these two men have while trapped in space is each other’ #so fucked up so perfect #not friends not lovers but a secret third thing

[starlitblueskies]

combining my two unrelated fandoms? more likely than you think.

#your honour they are both so horrible #flirting? i think you mean bantering in divorce court #gay old men toxic yaoi #i can't fix him but i can make him worse #theopin #dimension 20 #blue eye samurai #abijah fowler #heiji shindo #theobald gumbar #lapin cadbury #acoc #not married or divorced but some secret third thing

[lysolbabey]

the whole “unspoken/unofficial father/daughter” relationship between kitty and the captain but instead of kitty accidentally calling the captain dad one day, captain is going on about something someone said to/about kitty and accidentally drops a “i will not allow my daught- *ahem* lady katherine to be spoken to like-“ and tries (but fails) to cover it up.

#i just think they’re neat #obviously they’re friends and don’t have an exact father/daughter dynamic #but it’s the secret third thing of it all #i just love them okay #kitty ghosts #the captain #bbc ghosts #julian would give the captain the same side eye as whenever the captain says something particularly gay #you know what i’m talking about #i love these silly little dead people so much

[themthistles]

what's so appealing about jwds is that they very much embody the dynamic of 'two insane soulmates obsessed to an unhealthy degree encouraging the worst in one other and bringing everyone around into their mess' but somewhere along the way they manage to break out of that cycle and become actually good for each other. still incapable of being normal about their relationship but no longer actively ruining own lives and those of their friends, family and anybody unlucky enough to get in the way. your average freaks in love

#can gay people break the cycle of pain and violence and start something new and beautiful together? scientists (ksj&sny) say it can be done #it's like not healthy not unhealthy but a secret third thing the mystical inbetween #they come so close to the usual tragedy of destroying&losing everything and dying or ending up in a state worse than death but then don't #effervescent #beyond evil

[clown-owo]

the chie and yosuke dynamic (inspired by this post)

#og post #my art #persona #persona 4 #p4 #yosuke hanamura #chie satanoka #in my mind yosuke isn't a straight homophobe or gay with internalized homophobia but a secret third thing #i started playing p4 like less than a week ago #this is like. my first fanart. of either of these two. first finished fanart of p4 at all. which i think is fun #this was originally a rb but then i decided to make my own post instead. no one had rbed it so. #its gone now. like it never existed

[majimassqueaktoy]

The whole taxi squadron thinks Kiryu's gay and I'm crying

#I'm not gay nor straight I'm a secret third thing (depressed) #jess plays yakuza

[cryptcoop]

no like moiraweaver works so well cuz there are Options on how to go abt it. transmasc moira u have mlm. transfem niran u have wlw. t4t u have an expanded mind. anyway i enjoy them and ur art very much it’s fun seeing my two mains in a rarepair LOL

moiraweaver as a ship is an ever changing blind box toy.. you look at all the possible combinations on the packaging and you somehow get something that isnt even listed

#i like that everyone instantly agreed that moiraweaver is just every possible combination #not straight.. not gay.. but also both of those things. as well as being some secret third thing

[bumblingbabooshka]

I think Tom would have a major preoccupation with the fact that Tuvok has only had sex with his wife. Like, Tuvok lets this fact slip and Tom can't let it go for some reason. Even though everyone he brings it up to is like "?? And? What do you want me to say about that? Who cares?" Tom for some reason is still like:

He can't even verbalize why

#Tom Paris #Tuvok #st voyager #voy #so real to me #He's like 'even HARRY'S been with other people!' #But if he actually thinks about the fact that Harry's been with other people he'll start getting weird in a completely different #but similar way #Tom is a guy who is weird about sex and romance to me - in an uncharacteristically neurotic way #and if we follow the line down I'm sure we'll end up back in the fucking building again (something about his parents) #Tom: The guy's practically a virgin! A two hundred year old virgin! #Chakotay: He has four kids Lieutenant. #Tom is the definition of 'whatever they've got going on' or 'a secret third thing' bc I believe in my soul that he is a homosexual #but also that he has way too much internalized homophobia and a weird skewed perception of himself to actually acknowledge that #like it's not even that he's 'hiding' that he's gay - he genuinely does not know.

[turningsoft]

Mike Wheeler as quotes from Eddie Kaspbrak's gay-ass pov.

...like a secret name. A secret identity. A way to be people that had nothing to do with their parents' fears, hopes, constant demands.

…how important it was for creeps like them to sometimes be different people.

He fell in love with her a little that day — her shining blonde hair falling to the shoulders of her culotte dress, which was a cool blue.

Dear God, if You are there, please believe me when I say I don't want to hurt Myra.

There you go, Eddie — you hurt her again.

…he might have felt sorry for her if his heart had not already been so filled with terror for himself.

“I'll come back to you if I can, Marty.”

“How about a lick on your Rocket?” “Your mom wouldn't approve, Eddie”

“I'll chance it”

“Okay, f*g,” Henry said.

His eyes dropped momentarily to the floor, hunting for the knife.

“Come on down and play, Eddie,” the voice on the other side of the fence said. … He was Belch but he was also the leper.

...the face of the leper, all sunken eyes and wrinkled snarling mouth — all disease, all sickness, was stamped into that face.

…a disembodied Voice would begin to thunder in the church: Not worthy! Not worthy!

Damned to Hell! Damned to Hell!

…he would lean his bike against the wooden fence and watch the trains go by.

And for perhaps the first time in all the years he had known her, he felt that he could love her safely. Was that part of the going away?

#not parallels and not incorrect quotes but a secret third thing #repressed homosexuality goes hard #mike wheeler is gay #mike wheeler is queer #byler #anti mileven #it 1986 #tw f slur #cw f slur

[misdpelled]

I saw rougepino(peppino in rouge the bat's outfit) and knew what i had to do.

Also some small peppiblast for the soul :D

#pizza tower #anton blast #peppiblast #they are gay #and divorced #and a secret third thing #peppino spaghetti #dynamite anton

[crimeronan]

STRONGLY considering injecting amity into the princess luz AU bc i know Exactly where she'd fit but the problem is that if i do that then i KNOW i'll fall down a fucked-up hyperfixation rabbit hole that only interests like six people at best. bc the amity-luz-hunter dynamic remains my kryptonite. i'm diseased about it. oooooh god oooh my god. oh my god. i have. Thoughts.

#lumiter is kryptonite the same way rodamnessy is. triad of genderweird fucked up gay people being every flavor of platonic romantic and #secret third thing. dynamics that GET ME. #may elaborate on thoughts in a little while but i need to clean now. #'gay people' meaning 'two genderweird bisexuals on opposing gender spectrum sides who love an abrasive gay asshole with a heart of gold #despite all the problems the three of them constantly cause each other'. two nickels. etc #toh #horrible mindscape trauma pals #and who is that other witch #lumity #i still need a lumiter specific tag. bc i dont wanna clutter the tag with non-romo shipping but it's also like. #not just a best buddies group 2 me either. #hmm you know what. if my luz hunter tag is themed after ronanessy... and lumiter are rodamnessy... #shitty idiot repression gang #YEAH GOAL THERE WE GO #(my rodamnessy tag is 'shitty idiot deflection gang.')