#now he's back and he's ill and he's given it to me

[mrowlai]

sick day

character(s): wanderer/scaramouche, wriothesley, childe/tartaglia

summary: you’re sick and they take care of you (can be read as platonic or romantic, possibly ooc wriothesley)

Wanderer/Scaramouche “I really cannot be sick right now, I have things to do the next few days and my entire body hurts,” you groaned.

“Stop complaining.” Wanderer rested a warm towel on your forehead. “Or it’ll just get worse.”

You had fallen ill after a bad rainstorm caught you defenseless while running errands in the forests of Sumeru. Chilled to the bone, you had returned home and fell asleep, forgetting all about how Wanderer was set to come over that afternoon.

Thankfully, his tsundere act didn’t prevent him from helping you out with your cold.

You let out a violent sneeze that tossed the compress back towards him. “Sorry,” you grumbled, turning towards him.

“Use a tissue next time, ew,” were the kind words that came out of his mouth. “Or at least warn me.”

“It’s not like I can predict some of these things, and you don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“I also don’t have to help you, but here I am,” he huffed, moving to place the towel on your head again. “I’ll go grab a bucket soon, just in case you throw up.”

“I doubt I’m that sick,” you said.

“Good, because that’s the last thing I want to clean up.”

“Just shut it and let me rest.” You closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Surprisingly, he followed your request and let you doze off, staying by your side the whole time.

Wriothesley You made your way up to his office in the fortress, sniffling and coughing the whole time.

“Wrio, I think I’m sick.”

“I’d say that’s accurate. So why are you here and not resting?”

“I wanted to see you. Plus it’s a just a cold, I’ll live.”

Wriothesley chuckled. “You really should be in bed at the infirmary if you’re sick. At least while you’re here, have some tea with honey for me.” He pulled a chair over opposite his desk and motioned for you to sit down while he prepared the tea. He, of course, made himself a cup as well.

“Thank you,” you said hoarsely before you blew on the steaming liquid. Once you felt it was cool enough to drink you took a small sip. Instantly you felt your throat soothed as the sweet honey made its way down.

“Has anyone checked your temperature? Sigewinne?” Wriothesley took a sip of his own tea.

“No, not yet. I felt like complaining to you first.” You smiled.

He let out another laugh. “That’s very kind of you, but we really should get you to the infirmary to make sure it’s nothing major.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s just a head cold, though,” you said. “It’ll probably be gone in a couple of days.”

“How about we finish this tea and head down. If you’re right I’ll let it go, but if you’re wrong you have to rest on the doctors orders.”

“Deal.” You smiled behind your cup.

Childe/Tartaglia "You're sick."

"No I'm not."

Childe slowly put a hand to your forehead and hummed. "You have a fever. Did you dress warmly like I told you to?"

You looked to the ground as your cheeks grew hot with shame. "N-no."

He had taken you on a trip from Liyue to Snezhnaya after you expressed interest in experiencing the culture there. Despite given his clear warnings of the cold, you had only packed a thick jacket and crocheted scarf to keep you warm.

Upon seeing you, Childe let you borrow his fluffy hooded coat and handed you a spare pair of mittens he kept on him. They were a little small since he carried them around to help out his siblings, but you were grateful nonetheless.

Soon enough, he had you in his spare bedroom surrounded by blankets. A bowl of chicken broth with noodles sat on the nightstand next to you. You assumed he had a lot of experience taking care of sick people due to how big his family was. That many kids in one household was bound to spread the flu like wildfire if one caught it.

"After you eat, I need you to get some rest, okay?" Childe said it as more of a light demand than a suggestion. "Tourism can wait, and in the meantime I'll see if I can find some warmer clothes for you to wear in the meantime. What was your favorite color again?"

a/n: this turned out a bit longer than i had planned but i hope you enjoyed it! if you’re sick while reading this i hope you feel better soon.

© mrowlai

#inspired by me not feeling well rn #genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #genshin sickfic #scaramouche #wanderer #scaramouche fluff #wanderer fluff #wriothesley #wriothesley fluff #childe #tartaglia #childe fluff #tartaglia fluff #*mine

[iventig]

“A new recruit? What do we would need a newbie for?”

“Soap, there's no use questioning it,the decision has been made months ago.Now quit bothering me.” Price is truly annoyed. Ever since he broke the news to his team,Soap has not stopped asking about why, when, how and for what reason this new teammate will arrive to the taskforce.

“Okay,Okay,I get it at least tell us where they’re from,I mean we need to work with them at the very best of our abilities and-“

“Johnny”

Finally, freedom and peace arrived in the menacing form of Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley. Never, in his years of work had Price thought that peace and Ghost would occur in the same sentence within his thoughts. As he stood just a few meters away from his office,and the peaceful moments that he’d get by just getting through that door, Gaz came from behind.

“Captain,outside is -“

“what time is it Gaz?” Price asked in the most nice and calmest tone he could muster. Inside his chest panic rose, as he reminded himself of today's date. The recruit is coming today at exactly 16:15 pm

“Its 16:13, sir”

“Thanks Kyle, I need all of you to go. To your bunks,or the main hall,or somewhere else. Now.”

“Why?” again, Sergeant soap thought it was a good idea to talk again and so to break the last straw of his captain’s calmness.

“Ghost make sure this nuisance doesn’t get in my way with his stupid mouth today again, or he’ll gets to experience a whole week of outside recruitment training.Understood?”

With that Price turned on his heel and out of the sight of his teammates

“Fucking bloody muppets” he mutters as he made his way outside

“Great job, Soap.Now what?”

“I know we’re all thinking the same. So, Gaz , even if you don’t want to say it, Im going to say it.We’re going to follow him, obviously.”

Soap looked to his brothers, expecting a quick response,but none came.A minute of silence followed.

“Soap,no”

“C’mon L.t, I know you give more fucks about this as you let on,so if nobody’s going to stop me,I’ll be following my Captain.”

With that he to turned in a over dramatic way just as Price did three minutes ago, and got to follow his captain way outside.

“This godforsaken scottish bastard.A’right ill better follow him and get him back before the captain does, if anyone asks for me tell’em i’m dead or drunk. Thanks sergeant Garrick.”

And so Gaz now stood alone in front of his superiors office door , neither knowing how to react to the oder given or the situation that had just occurred, while he simply wanted to inform his captain of the helicopter sighted near the base. So, he decided, he will do as told by both his Lieutenant and Captain Price, staying right where he was and tell anyone who asked that the Captain is on his Period,Ghost is drunk and Sergeant McTavish turned feral.

A rather peaceful start for them, Garrick thought.

In the helicopter, a young man looked down at his wrist, the watch showing exactly 16:14.

In exactly one minute the helicopter should land,he’d get off his seat, take his duffel bag and backpack, depart the helicopter and meet the Task force 141, under command by the British army and the CIA. He would meet his new colleagues and captain, staying with them for a exactly three months before He would be seated in this exact position, back to his home country and comrades.in exactly 45 seconds he would be on time, he thought, in 46 he would be late.

He hated being late, he despised the thought of being where he was supposed to be even a millisecond late.He knew how much could change within a single minute or even second. His time out in the fields made it even mir obvious to him, how important it was to be accountable, accurate and quick. He dreaded the thought of being late, as he knew, the seconds one waste, may be the last of anothers life

How long are thirty seconds really?

He looked down at his watch, he laughed. It was a quick moment of bitter happiness filled by empty thoughts.

29…28….27

The Helicopter landing and the small ruckus of the helicopter as it touched the ground was the only thing he felt.

16:15 exactly on time, Second.

#call of duty #original character #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain price #tf 141 #fanfic #should i continue? #ghost mw2 #cod mw2 #cod #I may need a title if i continue this

[azure-steel]

Though I think it might be an important for me to state right now, that this blog has entered an almost canon divergent state - given that there were facets of Cloud's character Rebirth attempted to introduce that I just can't and won't accept, at least for now - there were still aspects that I quite enjoyed.

The moment he lost control in the Gongaga reactor was one of them. However I imagine that scene played out to Cloud himself very differently to what we saw on screen. An out-of-body experience of sorts, because when he has these episodes of slipping into Reunion state, he's super lethargic after the fact and often has to rest for a while. Not only that, but these are not 'blank' moments. His memory doesn't truly lapse. He KNOWS what he's done he just has no control over the actions the puppeteer forces him to perform.

Maybe it's simply a side effect, but I'm leaning more towards the idea that he's in a perpetual state of fighting for control, and in turn Cloud's fatigue is a result of gaining that absolute control back after losing himself to Sephiroth/Jenova's will.

My only issue with these instances is that no one really questions his behaviour, or forces him to take accountability for them regardless whether he was in control or not. It's never really explained to the party, they seem to just accept that Cloud had a funny turn and leave it there, and I don't remember any part where Cloud even apologises. he just makes excuses - which I suppose could possibly be forgiven for the fact that he is a 16 year old boy trapped in a 21 year old man's body.

I can't help but feel that Squeenix missed an opportunity here though to address the processes of mental illness such as PTSD and maybe even psychosis, sensitive topics for sure but ones that could certainly use more awareness in this day and age.

#{mako stripped - ooc} #tw: mental illness mention #final fantasy vii rebirth spoilers

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

Me, 1 week ago, perpetually numb: Man this sucks, I miss experiencing strong emotions

Me, now, properly angry for the first time in god knows how long: Man this sucks, I mi

#personal #a little under a month ago I had strong reason to believe that I'd gotten covid from my dad #so I did the responsible thing and isolated and it sucked #but I didn't give it to my roommate before he left to visit his family for the week so I was content that it had done some good #now he's back and he's ill and he's given it to me #didn't isolate in his room didn't give me the same courtesy I'd given him #and yeah I know he didn't mean it but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me #and the symptoms are even stronger than the ones I had. still didn't occur to him to keep his distance I guess #feels a lot more likely that this is covid than the illness I already had #and I don't know what exactly it is about the situation but honestly just thinking about having to quarantine again has me really upset #which is jarring bc recently I've been thinking about how long it's been since I've felt any kind of emotional extreme #now I'm out here trying not to cry over something I've theoretically done before #it's just not been a great day and it's kicked my brain back into feelings mode ig #don't get me wrong I'd rather feel a lot than nothing at this point but like #good things? please? can I feel strong happy emotions too maybe? #I've taken a covid test if that comes back negative I sure hope I feel happy but at this point who knows

[prototypelq]

I HAVE HALFWAY WROTE A DEFEAT LETTER BUT I HAVE MANAGED TO FINALLY BEAT M19 SOS VERGIL Y E S FINALLY I WILL FREAKIN CRY TEARS OF JOY HERE

#I DID IT I DID IT I DID JT #i ran around like a freakin headless chicken in the end and IT PAYED OFF #oh freakin hell #ahaha now only to repeat this with nero who i haven't touched in about a year now ahahahaha #...st least he has better options for dealing with the clone #game even awarded me with s though there was nowhere near s gameplay to be found #i am a bit overwhelmed now #i am now fully realising Exactly How Far Away from a 'hardcore' gamer i am #can you believe i started the year thinking 'if i go slow and casual at it i think i could take on harder dmc5 difficulties' #i feel ready to go back in time and theottle that idiot #this was...not fun but it also kind of was only because dmc5 gameplay is so good and dante is amazing to play as #and vergil is a great opponent he makes you take the situation seriously but you also learn to start goofing off its great #however i am NOT built for this i am so freakin not built for this boss grind i came through only because i like dmc so much #and i felt like if i could spend even a fraction of my fandom time in the actual game i could be much better at it #there is a number of games I overplayed to the point of starting to hate them and where the frustration overwrote the initial joy i felt #i felt like ive given myself enough time because i started to feel that frustration about dmc5 and i decidedly do NOT want that game #to end up like those i love it and want to enjoy it further so i was ready to concede defeat today #turns out i just had to be a better chicken thats good as nero is next and he is an arguably better for chicken tactic #maybe ill finish this sos run after all i would be glad if i could manage that #also im this close to 3 million and i want the dance taunt at least for dante))) #phew what an evening #mutuals my beloved thank you for constantly cheering me and reading this i can't find the words to express how much i cherish your support #and thank you tumblr for allowing me an entire book in the tags section hellsite my beloved

[lem-argentum]

than/rudy/raha is an interesting concept to me becauseee. th.ancred deals a lot with words unspoken. his most meaningful relationships are hurt because he focuses on action to the point of miscommunication. and meanwhile, aside from what he keeps hidden very intentionally, raha says a lot more in terms of affection. because (from his perspective) his time is almost up, and he wants to leave those relationships with the other knowing how he feels without any doubt. y’know………

#lem text #🌊 #💎 #(<- HE HAS BEEN GIVEN A TAG NOW. <3) #th.ancred ‘suppressor of emotions’ waters & g.raha ‘i have to leave a legacy behind in my words’ tia. OR SOMETHING….. #I DUNNO…. i think about the moment where the crystarium is in peril and you *have* to go but raha makes time to talk to lyna anyway. #because it is so important to him that his care for her is clear. IN CONTRAST TO the scene where r.yne confesses to uri how unsure she is- #about *th.ancred’s* care for *her;* and HE doesn’t intervene to clear *his* side up because it’s ‘not the right time yet.’ DO YOU GET IT……;; #and than has development with this. he is aware of this flaw in himself by the end of shb #but it obviously still wouldn’t come as naturally to him as it does with raha……. #SO; if you put them in a situation where they both have some sorts of feelings for the wol. AHEM #it would be interesting to see that dynamic y’know. raha being generally open about admiration vs. than struggling to convey sentiment……. #IT WOULD BE FUNNY IS WHAT IM SAYING. give these guys a shared crush and put them in a room together. YKNOW #in post-hw than has a few lines that (TO ME?) imply jealousy about another character’s closeness with us; #AND SAID CHARACTER WAS NOT EVEN AS OPENLY FOND OF US AS RAHA IS; SO WHAT IM *SAYING* IS. YOU GET IT. WOULD BE FUNNY. THANKS <3 #THERES SO MUCH TO COMPARE WITH THEM TOO BUT MY TAGS WOULD GET SO LONG. SO GOODNIGHT ILL GET BACK TO YOU HNFDKD <333

[ironmanstan]

I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops

#m thinking now and im like #i havent read ... anything consistently .. or watched anything .. or had time to like do anything #in genuinely so long #and i was like kinda becoming ok w it #my brain issues .. nothing matters i dont need anything all i need is me i dont need to have anyone or anything with me <- bad. stop it #part of this was the i need my dad to be proud of me braincell but well i win award i have 4.0 gpa and he still yell at me #deciding now to stop caring so much (i still do but ill ignore it) i need 2 be alive again i dont care #im so mad i dont even know .. im so viscerally angry like actually i dont even know what to do with that lmfao #my brother does shit all and u give him sm slack have NEVER treated him as bad as youve treated me #and nothing i do NOTHING is good enough or changes how u look at me #like idk he called me and i cried so much i got so fucking upset i fhkdhdkf ok. ok. #he will b like omg im so proud of u i love u so much ive always believed in u and i just think back to when #he yelled at me once like fiiive years ago and i was like u just make me feel so worthless all the time #and he was like yeah bc you are worthless #and im like hmmm idk bestie i dont think youve ever changed from looking at me like that and it is insanely obvious lmao #i dont even know bro im crazy. m insane got given an inch and tried to take a mile like omg i can actually be recognized as worth something #nevermind ill stop killing myself for that pipe dream now lol #m not even upset im just mad lmao i dont wanna hate my dad and i dont but every day i feel more and more like i should #vent

[bitchthefuck1]

have you watched the pjo show?

I saw the first 2 episodes when they came out at a watch party one of my friends threw, and as soon as they ended I realized I didn't particularly care to keep going. It wasn't like, outrageously bad by any means, I just don't think it gripped me enough to want to continue, and there were enough odd adaptational choices that I thought weakened the story that I lost interest. I might have tuned back in if the changes actually built to something interesting in the later episodes, but from everything I've seen it kinda seems like they just took the teeth out of the story, which was what I was worried about.

That being said, the cast seems really great and well suited to their roles, so like, if they improve the writing and pacing in the later seasons and stop sanding down all the rough edges, I might pick it back up. But otherwise, pass.

#im like famously bad at watching tv tho so me not wanting to continue is less dramatic than it probably sounds #i just don't really watch it casually anymore so I'll only follow along with shows that i really really like #i got another ask about the show a little while ago and i was like 'oh ill answer that once ive caught up' and then i never caught up so #sorry to whoever sent that i wasn't ignoring you i just never got to the ep you mentioned #like if I'm trying to be optimistic. given how quickly shows get canned if they're not immediately super popular. and given that this is a #disney product. its possible that once the show proves it can be commercially successful and the characters get older they might stop #playing it so safe and boring and bring some of the harder and more complicated elements back in. and like. that won't fix what they've #already fumbled but it will at least make the story better and more interesting. but idk how likely that is esp since #rick riordan seems totally on board with all the changes and it sounds like he doesn't really get why they diminish the story #like i feel like they're thinking too much about whether or not a change has a huge impact on the plot and not enough about how it #impacts the characters and the overall theme and vibe of the story. if that makes sense #like sure we still got from point A to point B in roughly the same way but that trip means something different for the characters now #and if you do that enough times you end up with a completely different result at the end even if we're technically in the same place #percy jackson show #asks

[dark-orca-dynasty]

It's done, I am FREEEEEEE

Colouring was the longest part of this I think, because that was when I was laying down the spots for her tail. The first version was a pain to do, so I looked up what actual snow leopard tails look like and realised I was going about it all wrong. Still not happy with the way I drew Alpheus' face either, but I'll just practice more I guess.

Things also got pretty chaotic around here, my sister now knows the most murderers out of anyone in the family (3 compared to the family baseline of 1), if that gives you any indication to the kind of life I'm dealing with.

I should have more time to work on this soon, my little brothers went back to school the other week so I'm no longer acting as a short order cook to a 5yo all day, leaving more time to contemplate feral catgirls and everything to do with The Deep.

I have a mermay thing planned too, so hopefully I remember to do that before I start on chronically ill Finn angst or using genderbends to analyse characters. But first, math and geometry because I promised someone I'd get them the measurements from the manor I drew for the AU, because I'm the kind of person who makes full on floorplans for my OCs.

#the deep cartoon #alpheus benthos #I think the thing that threw me off the most with Alpheus in the main comic is lack of shading + the bright blue from the concept art #and then the bonus panel I drew his hair being blown back because he's running and he looks like rhea ripley #...I need to draw him more #after the numbers #the mermay AU borrows from someone else's role reversal AU (need to remember who so I can say they inspired me) #and a lot of animal skin shifter folklore like selkies and swan maidens and stuff #I keep opening the file I did the plan in and getting a few more measurements down #now that the comic is done I should be able to focus only on that #chronically ill Finn stems from my experiences with chronic bronchitis more than my experiences with heat-triggered migraines #because I feel like that would be a more pressing issue for someone who regularly dives #given that issues like chronic bronchitis disqualify you from commercial diving #a lemewrian misadventure

[luvsavos]

unironically bossgat lives in my brain rent free

#mar.txt #saints row #johnny gat #it started with the romance option in sr4 and how compared to every single other one it sounds a LOT like a full on love confession #escalated to me opening ao3 for the first time in forever to look for johnny x boss fics #found an absolutely WONDERFUL series of 3 (thus far) johnny x male boss pre-relationship pining fics (trophy husband malewife johnny in + #denial about pining? yes please) #now i'm seriously considering making a proper saints row oc because of this，as opposed to the saints row au i have for thor #(in which he is literally 100% the same as normal except he fucks off to a diff universe for Vacation Time and ends up + #manipulating/charming his way up the ranks of the idols to become some sort of unofficial 'leader' figure，because the idols are right up + #his alley and while he absolutely does not NEED A Cult if he saw the opportunity to have one WELL...........) #the oc is going to be a mirror to my friend's sr oc😌 parallel versions of each other essentially #can you tell the hyperfixation brainrot is insane i never seriously make ocs for games unless i REALLY like them #ive beat. the reboot and 4 back to back without booting up mh again ONCE. and ill probably beat every single other one i can get my hands + #on before i boot up mh again，unless mh6 gets announced in that timeframe (unlikely，given it seems it'll be sometime next year，which is fine)

[diegoshargrieves]

listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"

like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.

#no it's not that ive dealt with everyone for my whole life and now im selfish and dont want to give a shit about anyone anymore #its that ive dealt with everyone my entire life ive been an emotional support pillar ive been rotting in this toxic dysfunctional household #ive been a third parent ive stepped in for my dad when he spontaneously decides to be a deadbeat ive supported my mom without fail #whenever shes needed it for years. ive dealt with everyones fits of mania & psychosis & breakdowns & chronic pain & depressive episodes #ive had my mental illness trivialized and belitted and downplayed. im exhausted and traumatized and so fucking burned out #of course it looks like ive given up on everyone from the outside because im struggling !! im struggling mentally and emotionally #and its spilling out in all the wrong ways and they just see it as me letting my anger ruin my character and everyone else around me #they dont care if theres something wrong with me even though im throwing out signs and cries for help literally wherever i can #they just care that theyre affected by it and inconvenienced by my deteriorating mental condition #they think this mentally ill freak is just what i am at this point and they cant stop emotionally blackmailing me #by reminiscing about how i used to be so kind and optimistic. i wish they would just fucking see me for once #ive played the role of the good emotional support eldest daughter my entire life. why didnt they think it would blow up at some point #and when i have tried opening up in moments of severe emotional vulnerability they just throw it back in my face later on #while simultaneously telling me i just need to change my outlook on life because im still young and cant define myself by childish problems #mom you are depressed and anxious you should recognize it better than anyone. you should be able to see it for what it is #instead of telling me to go spend a week volunteering at a cancer hospital so i can go see what real problems exist for people in the world #and what other people are going through and maybe ill come out with a new appreciation for life #mom just bc people are dying of cancer doesnt mean i can't be depressed just bc other people have it worse doesnt mean i cant have it bad #im so fucking tired! #3 am vent post yippee i am going to regret oversharing on the internet so badly when i wake up tmrw

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#other ppl: youll be fine! u r passionate abt what u do #no u dont understand. its not passion. im being consumed. im being devoured whole and alive. #its out of control and its killing me #stop trying to tell me im good. i can assure u its a problem and i want it to fucking stop. whats the point of being successful if u cant #even fucking breathe? #this has been my weekend in purgatory for some reason. but fuck u i got the fucking application 98% done so im gonna read it over tomorrow #when my brain doesnt feel like its gonna explode and thrn send it to the dude and idk see wtf he has to say about it bc im positive i #overwrote it bc im unhinged. whatever tomorrow im gonna spend another 4hr transfering algae #if i can. turns out ive given myself a headache and now i cannot sleep lmao #lol i wrote all that yesterday night. it appears i was having a bad time. and i continue to have a bad time bc my manuscript is 98% ready #for submission but i leave at 7.20 tomorrow morning for my flight and wont be home until 7pm in this time zone at the very least #which means ill have to fucking wait all day to submit i guess unless i use plane wifi or something. fucking idk #i also havent sent the application in yet and i havent bought any Christmas presents bc my brain is splitting into a million pieces #its 10 pm now. will is sleep tonight? who's to say i still have work to do on this fucking manuscript #at least my coauthor thinks itll only get sent back with minor revisions so it must look pretty ok #part of it is just me bitching abt inconsistent methods across papers bc it annoys me but also i dont give a fuck #i will fucking psychically control ppl to read this paper and use its knowledge bc the way they talk abt the topic annoys me so much #which is additionally annoying bc like i said i dont give a fuck #anyway im procrastinating #unrelated #my parents texting me today: yay we r excited to see u 🤗 #and im just laying on the floor eminating a demonic aura

[kneworder]

i also think there are few things funnier than the way allen and kanda's relationship changes throughout the manga. like i do not ship them at all but for over a hundred issues it's yuu edgelord supreme kanda being like 'FUCK you for being nice and polite all the time. the world is a TERRIBLE place and it is STUPID AND NAIVE for you to pretend otherwise' and allen grin and bear it walker being like 'Actually I Believe In The Inherent Value Of Human Life You Piece Of Shit :) Be Nice To People :) Appreciate Your Friends :) Find Hope Or Go To Hell :) ' and then searching for AW hits with all the force of neah and the fourteenth and suddenly allen is like "maybe it is all meaningless actually haha i ruin everything i touch and my life was never truly mine <3 i think i might go catatonic for a little while about it wouldn't that be fun <3 go on the run and isolate myself <3" while kanda tracks him down to shake him by the shoulders like "wait wait wait fuck you oh my god stop that you need to believe in people again what about your fucking friends jesus christ don't you remember them oh my fucking god where did your stupid hope go and why do i have to be the one to force you to find it UGH." kanda fucked around and found out. literally be careful what you wish for.

#it's also a really beautiful character arc!! #like the way allen was such a beacon of hope he literally forced hope into kanda's life after YEARS #and then allen lost everything he ever knew about himself and his life and suddenly it's kanda's job to remind him of that very hope?? #that's so good like AWAUGHH?? #i wish i did ship them bc it seems like the perfect kind of thing to be mentally ill about #unfortunately i hate hate hate the idea of allen in a relationship love and light <3 #im just mentally ill about them in a platonic way #main character syndrome except it's just that i care about their plot and friendship dynamics too much to ship them with anyone #also he is Literally Son Boy to me. that is a baby. he's my LITTLE GUY. #allen is literally kanda's first friend too tho like i think that's part of it #it's so much more valuable for me to think of kanda finding respect for allen despite and even bc of everything he thought of as a flaw #so kanda coming through for him in searching for AW is just so!!! it is everything to me!!! #kanda starts out the series by outright saying i will leave you behind if you slow me down #and now he's grown so much as a character that he absolutely refuses to give up on allen even when allen's given up on himself #and to me personally this is a much more meaningful friendship dynamic than relationship dynamic #bc it feels more novel platonically #try too hard to beat the hope out of your silly little coworker and you might have to be the bitch who forces it back into him. #it makes me very emotional to think about it ok. i am cringe but i am free etc etc

[ragnars-tooth]

One day I'll write coherently my thoughts about zanna being a middle class girl who probably went to private school deciding to attend one of the worst? (Best? Unclear.) Unis in the east and her cringe fail council estate boyfriend. They make me insane it's so interesting

#rangnar rambles #SHES RICH #SHE HAS TO GET A TRAIN #TO *SCRUBBLEY* #why is she not at cambridge it drives me insane #(the answer is bc people make all kinds of decisions irl and also she is words on a page) #BUT LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS RICH GIRL COSPLAYING POVERTY PLEAAAAASE #<- thats a little harsh tbh i dont think shes cosplaying but she IS out of place #idk enough about chris d'laceys background and maybe david and the pennykettles are better off than i thought #but no they cant be he literally cant make rent and liz is renting him a room for her own finances #phone machine play common people by pulp #this post brought to you by working class uni student who would really like a mrs pennykettle rn :( #this probably makes no sense my brsin is melting rn ill get back to this #AND SCRUBBLEY COLLEGE??? #*IS IT* GOOD???? UNCLEAR!!!!! IT BECOMES A UNI? BUT GIVEN THE STATE OF SOME OF THEM THAT MEANS NOTHING!!!!! #WAIT NO ALSO #ALSO!!!! #her being goth in this context. the IMPLICATIONS!!!!!! #okay i gotta go to bed now sorry for being normal about the blobos

[finalhaunts]

-

#.txt #fuck man. #thinking about my ex. agh. #i dont know how i feel about things i guess #ive moved on and im happy he’s happy /gen but also whenever I think about him I just get so upset #I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong. its been over a year and im still just so upset whenever i think about it #because it had been nearly two years since we got together and he just. broke up with me out of the blue. #and I never got an explanation as to why. even when I asked he didn’t tell me #and part of me is thinking ‘’well i should just respect whether he wants to say or not’’ but at the same time don’t I deserve some closure? #he said it wasn’t because of her at least. but part of me can’t help thinking he left me because he was happier with her. #I feel like maybe I was just too much. and thats why he left. #im too anxious and too paranoid and too scared whenever i enter a relationship because i don’t want to do something unforgivable. #i dont want to hurt anyone. that’s the last thing i want. I don’t want to push anyone away. #and im hurt that it didnt work out and i want to know what I did wrong but #at the same time i feel like im. happier. now that im out of that relationship #he wssnt a bad guy and he still isnt /gen. i just. i dont know #looking back on the relationship i don’t feel like i was happy. and once we broke it off we drifted apart quickly #and even if he didnt do anything wrong i feel Very uncomfortable over the thought of us interacting again. even just as mutuals or whatever #I think I’ve honestly just given up on trying to find love. its never worked out for me #ill just stick to the fictional ones. thanks. #also if anyone readjng has any clue who this js please dont mention it #this isnt like. a callout or me trying to smear him or whatever he’s genuinely a great guy #im just. having a lot of mixed emotions. even after so long. #vent

[truckstoptigers]

my brother got a bed

my sister got a bed

aaron & my sister's mom had a bed

so why was i the only one sleeping on an air mattress in a room that wasn't even truly mine

#he used to have me and my brother sleep on a literal mattress on the floor #but when we moved to the nice house. everybody got a bed/their own bedroom #but not me #and i dont know why that upsets me so much #and when we moved into the next house i was back on an air mattess on the floor... but my sister got her own bed & room #(not that i blame her or my brother. they didnt do anything wrong & i love them to pieces. it was aaron that did it) #it just... sucks that he treated me like that. that it was so different. and it wasnt bc we were struggling. he just didnt care that much #i got so used to it that now i expect it. i make myself small and quiet and take whats given to me. i dont deserve it after all right? #its been a rough few months. #milo murmurs #tw neglect #cw neglect #he also didnt really care if i ate. hed force me to eat things that would make me gag bc it was either that or nothing. #a lot of the time it ended up being nothing... #im still thinking abt what he said when he was drowning me #'i could kill you. youre just lucky i dont want to.' who says that to their kid? #who repeatedly shoves their kids head underwater repeatedly while the kid is naked and struggling not to pass out? #the cruelty of it all is almost cartoonish. i have such a hard time with feeling like ill be believed because of it #physical abuse tw #cw physical abuse #(in the tags anyway)