#now im trying for therapy for him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voxxian · 1 year

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in an act of extreme depression and also the extreme urge not to go and do something irrational and stupid to myself, i have decided to revive my laptop and sign into tumblr for the first time in eons yet again, only to discover upon trying to edit something on my blog that now you have to email support for javascript capabilities

i will always have a bittersweet hate-love relationship with this website, literally always because what the fuck

#on that note #i guess i will log into everything else that im not logged into such as twitter discord emails and such #i really did manage to die off from the internet and talk to literally nobody except text messaging my toxic fucking ex/boyfriend/idfk what #im always in a bad situation tho which kills me n gives me major depression even more lol #no thanks to him either and for some reason i keep putting up w it #no self respect ig #or i guess i have too much hope and not much to lose besides myself? idfk #he keeps fucking me over n never stopped for 4 years #now im trying for therapy for him #why? because i dont love myself ig LMAO #but hey maybe itll work out and this can go from abusive to healthy #who fucking knows #a rarity i know but i got NOTHING else going for me #jobs have been hard to come by since i was laid off in december last year #and i have been depressed #and i moved 340404095458 times already #and life sucks and i cry all the time lols #and i have a hard time staying in touch with friends because i also suck #but thats been my life since i was 19 tho #thats why i dont talk to literally anybody i guess #and only him through text #fmldjfapsodfijapsdojfdsf fmllll #anyway it brought me here and i did move away from him again so maybe thats a step in the right direction #im delusional idfk #help me hahahaha #voxxrambles

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can-of-slorgs · 2 months

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I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.

Bonus comic featuring my grundo:

#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage #neotag #neopets #vin memes #you'reall to blame for this monstruosity #i literally just searched “babygirl” pose and went “I... i can do that”#i didn't stop to think if i should though #Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing #again if youre seeing this with no context #you dont need context #i... i don't think there's any for that matter #just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn #i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before #my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO #yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back #also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him #split it is for now #i don't want to look at this anymore end me #i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold #thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy #kreludorian health insurance in a farse

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starry-bi-sky · 4 days

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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot

There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.

So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)

He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.

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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.

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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.

I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.

He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.

Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.

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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.

This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.

He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.

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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.

Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"

It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.

This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.

#dpxdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc #dpxdc crossover #dp x dc crossover #danyal al ghul au #yaelokre danny #yaelokre danyal al ghul #the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia #just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao #he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored #in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi #body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active #conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc #as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then #keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't #see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist #because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t #danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate #being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and #complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an #assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim #damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.

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darealsaltysam · 2 years

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im at my fucking limit oh my god atreus running to kratos to hug him after freeing garm and kratos hugging him back and then letting go and then realizing atreus ISNT letting go and NEEDS comfort and continuing to hug him and asking him what happened and not getting mad or impatient and just letting him know he’s there for him and even as EVERYONE berates him for freeing garm kratos steps in and defends him because he understands how unbearably COMPASSIONATE his son is even for an evil hellhound and telling him they’ll fix this together and how he’s not angry and is only happy that he’s safe and and and and and AND AND-

#IM IN FUCKING SHAMBLES #THAT WHOLE SEQUENCE BROKE ME #and then the two of them in hel being so quiet and gentle with each other #theyre both angry and want to apologize to each other at the same time and all thats coming out is these quiet reassurances of love and care #kratos understands he fucked up and atreus understands he fucked up but now theyre gonna fix that fuck up TOGETHER and its OKAY and #and then kratos is just letting atreus talk about what happened in asgard and being so considerate of everything he tells him #and atreus is so broken and sad and quiet and kratos is trying to draw more out of him but he CANT so hes just hes just trying to be there #for him and. holy shit i need a minute #sony santa monica im gonna need u to pay for my therapy after this #god of war #gow 5 #god of war ragnarok #gow kratos #kratos #atreus #gow atreus #writing this post through TEARS

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moeblob · 2 months

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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rabble-dabble · 1 year

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A Karkat who isn't out to his friends about his blood color yet has to go to John to get patched up because all humans bleed red and thus John wouldn't think it's weird that he does too.

question but is it homoerotic to patch up your fellow friendleader so tenderly when he trusts no one else to and also linger your touch but only slightly subtly so as not to alert him to your pining gaze?

#homestuck #hs #john egbert #karkat vantas #johnkat #answered #anon #evil john anon #doodleart #'rabble the bandages are around his chest does that mean he's trans-' YES. YES IT DOES. ALWAYS #i have never binded my chest this way so sorry if it looks off!!#BUT I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS AYOOOOOOOOOO #this is so tender to me btw. john gently wrapping him up. touching his shoulder while karkat looks away. karkat being comfortable (kinda)#to have his back turned. GAH #also sorry for not answering for so long!!! i think im in an art block. that or im depressed.#(the answer is both LMAO)#ive been trying to get healthcare for a while so i can set up stuff like therapy and getting diagnosis. and work has been on my ass #truth be told tho i just didnt have the energy for anything...creative lately?#i havent really had a bad dip in my mental health like this for a couple of years now so this is kinda hard to cope with #but just know im not forgetting this blog i promise!! art may just come out way less now #but im still trying so dont think im gonna drop and disappear lmao

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potatochip-oc-dump · 7 months

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i keep dropping little tidbits of marks backstory... one day i will spit it all out on some google doc or somethin

little mark + moose mom, mom who is moose

#oc #mark mahogany #moose mom #ill come up w a name for her at somepoint...#ANYWAYS I NEED EVERYONE TO SEE CHILD MARK NOW!!!!!!!#blood #LISTEN I. PROMISE ILL GET INTO MARK LORE WHEN I HAVE THE ENERGY TO DO SO!!!!#VRGGRHGRHRHEHGRHRG new character tiem #shes his mentor of sorts. shes the librarian + owner of the “archive” whatever place that mark currently works at #she took him under her wing and passed down the position to him #ALSO. THIS IS LIKE THE 3RD TIME IVE ACCIDENTALLY MADE AN ANTHRO CHARACTER TRANS #but im sticking with it ofc because i love her very much #mark has that Traumatized Child look in his eye👍 awesome #the context for the blood thing in the third image is that #mark is kind of like. constantly on edge and lashes out when he feels threatened. on top of all that hes a child #who is grappling w the fact that everyone around him continuously calls him a beast and a monster amd all that jazz. not as like an insult #but as and encouragement if thag makes sense #reminder that mark has been to therapy in canon #also im sorry i keep forgetting 2 draw mark with his cane i promise ill try and be better abt that in the future #ahhh i lauve him

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newvegascowboy · 13 days

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I was kinda Jesting about it a little bit ago, but Killian and Shaun just have the potential to have SUCH a fucked up relationship. Shaun, the guy who considers the death of his mother to be collateral damage, who was going to free Killian as a social experiment, who finds out his dad takes off into a grief induced drug haze and becomes a raider overlord for a little bit. VS Killian, the guy who straight up tells him to his face "I love you, but I never should have been your father, and the parent who could have saved you is dead". Killian who realized he couldn't be the kind of father a child deserves wayy too late, but having a wife and kid was kind of all he had. Shaun who has to contend with the realization that his dad thought it was a blessing that Shaun and Nora were "dead". Killian who realizes he's done the exact same thing his parents did to him. DELICIOUS.

#fallout #kal talks #killian #shaun #killian was an addict before the bombs fell and hid addiction is very much a parallel to how the us army treated soldiers #in Vietnam #in which soldiers would become addicted to drugs that were freely available in country and then have access to Zero recovery resources #once they were shipped home #also like. no resources for PTSD therapy lol #and Nora KNEW. she just didnt say anything #told herself it was fine unless he brought it home #and he didnt for a while. until he did. and they separated because of it. they were only briefly back together because killian promised #to recover #and then yk. bombs.#nora is rightfully frustrated with killian because of Killian's lack of initiative #SHE asked him out SHE proposed SHE wanted a baby. but she never communicates this frustration to him until like The Fight they have #*she never communicates this until The Fight they have where she decides to take off and take shaun #like dgmw killian genuinely mourns nora and shaun when he believes they're dead but a part of him is relieved #that they dont have to try and survive in what the world has become #and a big part of his character arc as a whole even beyond the redemption aspect of atoning for the Overboss thing #is overcoming his depressed and pessimistic world view #that the world IS worth something #that there is hope and we must try to make the world better #because if we dont then it will be just as bad as you believe it to be #facing off with shaun is Killian's final challenge #to look at his son and acknowledge the way he failed him. that killian did not believe in a world where shaun survived and thought #it was a mercy that he 'died'#and they both suffered for it #Killian's gotta face the music and be like 'yeah i failed you and i can never undo that and im sorry. i wish i had been a better man'#'and all i can do is be one now.'

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tanicus-caesareth · 1 month

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guarana drama, damage control

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antstarion · 3 months

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my house feels so empty without my dog :(( vent in tags

#I don't have therapy for fucking ages so here we go. im gonna rant #cw for pet death #cw pet death #cw pet loss #my dog died technically yesterday now and i am fucking heartbroken #he has been around since i was 9 or 10 years old so i was so fucking attached to that guy #he loved to cuddle on the sofa with me and we spent a lot of time together because i sleep downstaira in the same room as him #the pain that i feel is so much without even factoring my family #my family are extremely emotionally abusive and trying to cope with a loss that is this big around them is so difficult #im going back to my flat in a couple of days but the reactions to this event are fucking unsettling #nobody is talking about it. if i bring it up they just ignore it.#i am not one to govern how people react to grief but. if you knew my family #i feel like its importsnt to mention that they didnt tell me he was having to be put down until the day befoew #they withheld the fact he went blind and couldnt walk from me #last time i saw him he was old but fine and this time he was struggling to breathe #nobody told me #i dont know #in a house that was fucking horrible to me he was always nice #he was the only #one who didnt do anything wrong #he was a constant through all the abuse and now he is gone #i feel like everything is cracking beneath me and im about to fall #cw suicide #but im thinking just terrible things #im trying not to see this as a relapse in my recover because i know this is a normal reaction to grief for me #i just feel terrible and alone #and when i felt #like this before. he would always be there #hes stopped me from hurting myself before just because he was there #idk what to do

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ajax-mew · 10 days

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when i back in uni

me think

i do uni updates again

#i used to do them #and was basically like day 1 i made friend she uggo and she basically torture her dog #(it was a tiny dog and she would send it to a trainer and not see it for weeks and she also missgender me a LOT)#day 2 everyone was uggo and big meanies and missgender me #day 5 sm gurl call me Konstantina (not my deadname ir clos to it and a girls name)#day 6 that same girl called me amy and a girl name (not close ti Damien and a girls name)#day 6 again i correct that girl and said is Damien and am a boy in front of ppl #day 10 that girl from b4 called me 'that uhh little boy over there ' we were the same age maybe i was a yr older than her #day 15 i wore 2 binders qnd went to the bathroom coz i couldn't breath #day idk anymore sm teacher called me girl thrn apologized and called me a young man (only positive)#day 24 that girl w the dog spoke abt canibalism w me (also pos but i regret it coz normies shouldn't know abt it)#day 56 the girl w the dog said she had a girl in her school w similar vibe as me (i was still a he) she kept missgender me #day 32 sm other girl v cool asked for my pronouns (she probably the only out if them i could have been friends)#day idk i quit uni to sad i go to therapy depressed want kill self (then i started t and changed legally my name etc #also my mom when i 1st go to uni didn't take all gender stuff seriously #like i was w my mom at the secretary and i told the secretary if could write my name Damien and my pronouns next to my name #at the papers the teachers see #and my mom and secretary was laughing and say 'hohoho but u wint be speak to me all the time'#im not ask to speaking to u am ask to write at the teachers paper #so I don't try to kill my self in the unis bathroom #and so i don't have to start every sentence with ' am actually a boy and my name is Damien '#I FKN HATE EVERYONE THERE AND I HOPE TJEY DIE #the main teacher of graphic design change so they maybe better now i hope #the reason i choce tjat uni was coz when i go there #was btwn 2 #the other didn't even show me around and thought i would enrol #the one i went i hadn't said anything abt my gender yet #but the teacher was 'misgender me ' he was say he and then correct it and say she #i didn't correct him at the time coz wasn't sure i would go there but v cool #that's allmost a full vent in the tags

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izzy-b-hands · 8 months

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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just

it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)