#obviously i find nothing on that

[evansbby]

.

#after 1737272 years i go on the chris evans tag to see if i can find what they talked about in that Islamophobia and antisemitism asp chat #obviously i find nothing on that #but people seem to care more about being investigators and saying he looks bad and therefore is unhappy which of course means #that his marriage isn’t real (delusions) #LIKEEE do yall hear yourselves #here’s the thing… PEOPLE AGE. #he looks his age #he’s also skinny now and it shows on his face #and he wears his glasses now #so okay he doesn’t look like the beefy hunk he used to be but why does that mean he’s unhappy??!? #yall are weird fr #personally I think he’s relaxed enough in his marriage to just kinda let go #in the sense that he hasn’t got any movies to film he hasn’t got any premieres #it’s not like he’s trying to attract any women since he already has one now #yall think you’re detectives out here all ‘oh he looks unhappy wah wah wah’ #it’s so weird that THAT is what yall focus on #and you always bring it back to his wife and how it’s all her fault and his marriage is fake and blah blah blah pr this and pr that #like it’s fr WEIRD #yall are embarrassing yourselves this is JOBLESS BEHAVIOURRRR #it’s giving the same energy as the woman who wrote the letter #TELL ME WHAT IS SO UNBELIEVABLE ABOUT WHITE MODDLE AGE MAN MARRYING YOUNG 20 SOMETHING GIRL #why do you put him on some high pedestal that ‘oh nooo our chris would NEVER do this!1! he’d never marry someone like that!1!1!1’ #well guess what he did and it’s entirely believable #and it’s weird of yall to bring his looks into it and launch your weird investigations #he looks fine #why should he have to maintain the beefy Captain America look forever just to prove to yall he’s happy?!?! #SO FUCKING WEIRD YALL ARE WEIRD

[kingsmoot]

the au where tywin actually does arrange marry cersei and theon is actual best case scenario of all time for that boy. he gets sexually bullied by a woman twice his age with an obvious drinking problem. and she looks just like jaime lannister.

#like nothing could possibly have gone better for him #cersei i think would find moderate contentment in this arrangement #because theon is very similar to jaime and could be pussywhipped the same way #like obviously not the SAME way but similar enough

[vio1315]

I feel the need to remind people,

There is nobody Jesus is unable to save

I feel it comes up far too often that I am researching a mental illness or behavior or types of people that people will comment how such people will never be saved, never come to Christ

And I honestly think this is an evil thing to say, let alone publicly, let alone where a record of it is kept for all to see for however long the website is running

Do you have any idea where people who are struggling with all manner of things and looking for help are going to end up? On those exact pages. Do you know where they might look for more information when the article/video/etc waxes on about how rare it is for these people to change or find help? Right in the comments.

How dare the people who post this stuff. To take away the only real hope for the lost. To say ‘this is where everyone can find peace for their soul except for you.’ ‘only those good enough can be Saved’

I have seen people mention being in absolute despair because there’s no help for them even though they want to change. There’s no need to make this even harder. 

No sin, no mental illness, no habit, no personality type, no mistake, no past is going to prevent people who put their faith in Jesus’s death and resurrection from being Saved, so stop trying to turn them away and discourage them.

#Vio's Personal #Now obviously I don’t assume any of my followers have done this #I just find it infuriating #I should do more about it probab;y #I still remember Years ago when I was looking for help about why reading the bible was something I never wanted to do #(I honestly still struggle about it A Lot but at least I better understand why now) #and someone had mentioned that people who don’t want to read the bible probably aren’t saved #utterly soul crushing #It didn’t impact my decisions or any such but #some comment on there for years and years that they forgot about #And just devastating for no reason #And that’s nothing compared to what people say about some mental illnesses #What value was there in saying that? Would it be worth it if even one person was dissuaded from pursuing the Truth from it? #The things you say can impact people. Act like it

[aroanthy]

i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc

#what am i trying to say here? #idk! think about all of the pieces you have #dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways #and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff #when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for #and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death #and what ‘dying’ really means #being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this #much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is #to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like????? #akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant #he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him #but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou #he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her?? #all such interesting interpretations #i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful #like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him #if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again #like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is #it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’ #sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes #it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING #like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!! #compel me even #anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway #dais.txt

[looking4thatqueersubtext]

im so fucking sick of seeing jude depicted as a thin ass woman like NO.

it's stated multiple times through out the books that not only is she muscular because of all her swordfighting training but she also doesn't have that thin frame and that is exactly what sets her apart from the fae (and part of what makes her beautiful to cardan like hellooooo?). she has curves and muscle and scars. all of that is so so so important to her character.

#i dont even know why i feel the need to say this but there's OBVIOUSLY nothing wrong with being thin #and people are allowed to have their own headcanons and to imagine a character however they like #but i feel like since she's such a mold-breaking character (if you know what i mean) #we all appreciate her for her fighting skills and strategy and her bloodlust #but can a female character stray from the mold just a certain amount before it becomes too much? #before people don't find her attractive anymore? #why does she have to have either a personality that's not the stereotype of female fantasy protagonist #or a body that doesn't fit those standards? #anywayssss went on a little rant there #jude duarte #tfota #jurdan #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #my post >:)

[hollowsart]

Legend of zelda (if you like it) doc ock ! (Specifically like the guardians in breath of the wild)

"I've always found those wandering guardians to be quite fascinating, namely their legs. So! I took it upon myself to examine the remnants of the ones you've defeated and crafted something quite useful out some spare parts you've delivered! What do you think? A brand new personal mode of transportation! All the benefits of mobility, but with less stress on the body! Well.. among other nifty little things that they're modified to be capable of!"

-- Otto, Hylian engineer

#my art #phone art #doc ock #doctor octopus #otto octavius #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #I don't play LoZ but I know people who do and know there are plenty who will find this fun! #.....I'm never drawing this again sdfkjhsdkhsdfkdfs #his actuators normally are already pretty tricky dskjfkdsfhdf this was extra difficult LOL #I know pretty much nothing of the series so there's obviously misinformation here that I know people will correct me on skdjfhksjdf sorry!! #I just thought this was a cute description LOL

[lgbtlunaverse]

I have been thinking on the nature of mdzs as a deliberately vague text that leaves many things up to interpretation, and how i've slowly come to understand "up for interpretation" less as "there is One True version of this story i must find" and not even as " Everyone has a different One True Version of this story inside their head be based on their interpretations and the differences don't make one wrong and the other right" but as "There is no One True Version. Even in my own subjective interpretation of the text multiple things can be true at once" specifically, in regard to Jin Guangyao and the many things which are left up in the air as to whether he did them or not, most notably killing his son.

There's evidence for this, but it's non conclusuve (jgy saying he killed him while also saying he killed Qin Su, who very much killed herself. The speculations on how he'd have killed him being sect leader yao just saying shit. ) it is, esentially, just up in the air enough that if you decisively fall on one side of the debate is probably says more about you and your general opinion of jgy than it does about the "true" events of canon.

I have, as a proud apologist, always fallen on the "he didn't kill him but felt in some way responsible for his death." Side but recently have become more okay with the interpretation that maybe he DID kill him, and that at the very least, that when he tells Qin Su their son "needed to die" he is being genuine. Which, once you look at it beyond. "Is jgy a poor lil meow meow who it is Okay to Like or an irredeemable baby murderer" becomes both INCREDIBLY tragic and deeply interesting. Because here is a man condemned for who his parents were and who wants nothing more than to live, saying that it is possible to be so cursed by your heritage that you need to die. There is no existence for you. The exact same thing that has been said to him.

Of course being born out of wedlock to a sex worker and being a product of incest are different things, but that begs the question: where is the line? What crimes of the father can mean death for the son? How cursed can you be until your existence is so incompatible with society it is you who needs to give? And if there is... where is it? Qin su clearly thought she was past it. Was his son really past it? Is he?

#warning: canon typical incest and suicide #mdzs #mdzs meta #musings on the nature of unreliable narratives or whatever #meng yao #jin guangyao #jin rusong #i know this is a controversial take #i just think! that once you let go of the idea that killing rusong is some load-bearing sin where if jgy has done it you can't like him #that there is interesting stuff to look at here! #obviously. child murder bad. jiggy has done many had things but this one is. particularly bad. #so i get it if you feel uncomfortable with it being done character you view as symapthetic despite other bad things he's done #and again! multiple things are true at once! i STILL operate from 'he did not kill him it was a secret 3rd thing' modus 90% of the time #it's just that in this one instant i find the other option really interesting #i just. non-identity problem my beloved. if rusong's suffering cannot be erased without erasing his existence is he destined to do so? #if he'd been a teen when everything about jgy got uncovered and both his parents died is there... a place left for him to go? #i just. hhhhh this poor child. we know nothing about you beyond your shameful birth and your death. is that really all you were meant to be

[murdererofthumbs]

Seeing reactions after this episode is actually slightly hysterical? It proves that this fandom can be so blind-sighted by characters relations, that they forget what show they are watching. Like, I have always been a self-proclaimed Roman-girl, because I find him compelling and extremely psychologically interesting, and like all of these characters, to a certain extent, I do empathise with him on the level of trauma that he went through. But why the fuck are people surprised that THIS is how he behaved in this episode is beyond me. Oh, suddenly Roman is dead to you because he behaved in the way that was very much consistent with who he is? That’s who all of these people are, like come on, what do we think we are watching here? You didn’t really think he will suddenly become a defender of democracy because it serves a greater good of the country? He was the one to fucking choose Mencken as a president, he cherry-picked him for Logan, because he knew that their views align, that Mencken will be a smart business decision. This whole thing is a transactional procedure - they needed to get someone who will be willing to serve their corrupt interests. Roman doesn’t see a problem in having fascist as a president, because he will never be touched by the consequences of having that kind of man in power. He is very much safe at the top of the mountain, and who the fuck cares what will happen to the peasants at the bottom of the chain? In this way, he imitates Logan the most, because in the end of the day, people are units to him, to all of them really, some of them are just more willing to admit this than others.

Also, like, “uuu, Roman was such a misogynist to Shiv this episode, he just didn’t listen to her at all”. Look, can we stop being delusional here for a second or is it some sort of selective memory situation? Roman is a misogynist. Kendall is a misogynist. Shiv, in fact, has a lot of internalised misogyny going on, and her being a woman never stopped her from pushing other women under the fucking bus, so let’s be real here for a second. And that is not to be said in defence of Roman, frankly nothing what I’m saying here is supposed to justify his behaviour in this or any other episode, but it’s more of like… reality check? I know that Roman’s self-destructive spiral and semi-decent behaviour at the beginning of this season might have clouded certain aspects of who he is, but please, go back to season 3 and count all the instances of him throwing misogynistic and, frequently incestuous jokes and innuendo, at Shiv? How many times he undermines her position on the basis of her being a woman? Or how Kendall, for that matter, uses similar arguments in 03x02? All the siblings use aspects of each other as weapons. Kendall is undermined because he is unstable, because he is a drug-addict, because he has a tendency of flying off on the cloud of mania, and crashing in the heap of depression. Shiv is crossed out because she is a woman, because she frankly has no real experience in the firm (which, although people might be super angry about that, because she is such a “girlboss” apparently, but this is a factual argument), because of her relationship to Tom and tendency to take several sides at the same time (with not much thought put into it). And Roman is frequently undermined because he is a freak and a pervert, because “there is something wrong with him”, because he is the weakest dog that is most easily manipulated, who crumples like a wet tissue if only to receive a bit of affection. They all weaponise their “weak” points against each other, because this dog-eats-dog mindset is focal to who they are as a family, to how they were brought up, to how Logan wanted them to be. So please, let’s not be surprised, when Roman suddenly uses misogyny as an argument against Shiv, because it’s not sudden at all, and it’s always been there.

I think what we have on our hands, is the same situation we had in 03x07 during Kendall’s birthday (and previous episode with Mencken), where some people are so outraged by Roman, and by his ability to shove the knife where it hurts, that they suddenly cross him out completely. Again, all these characters are bad people, there was never any doubt about that. They are compelling because of the complexities of their familial relationships, because of their childhood trauma and the consequences that this trauma has on them as adults. But they are still completely reprehensible as human beings, and I think some viewers forget about that and then get outraged when show about awful people features awful people. And I’m sure, either in next or final episode, something will happen and Roman will become sympathetic again, and he will regain his position as a “poor meow meow”, just as he did in the finale of season 3. Its always a fucking carousel with this character and people get sucked in and have their eye’s covered just to realise that nothing really changed, and nothing will change, because in this show people, at their core, remain the same.

#roman roy #this is a ridiculously long rant #but as soon as I finished this episode I just knew what takes I will see on tumblr #it is becoming painfully predictable to figure out what takes people will give #i dont know if i should find it funny or sad because its been 4 seasons and some people still don’t understand what they are watching #like wow #show about bad people have actual bad people? #doing bad things? #the shocker of a fucking century #call all the news channels #but will all of that stop me from liking Roman as a character? #No because there was never any doubt in my mind about the state of his moral compass #or lack thereof #you can’t like characters in this show for them doing good things because they rarely do #this show is interesting and these characters are interesting because of the psychological mechanisms that drive their behaviour #(and im saying this obviously as a psych major so nothing surprising here) #but yeah i had to get it out because it infuriates me when people lack a basic understanding of what they are watching #and are surprised by things that were there to begin with #in the end of the day nothing fucking changed #succession #succession hbo #kendall roy #shiv roy #succession spoilers #logan roy #connor roy #succession s4 #marta rumbles poetically #i will also probably write something about Roman later on when I can fully process this episode and I get my exam done #because there are some interesting psychological things at stake in here

[rawliverandgoronspice]

given that seems to be the new popular take in the fandom at large since totk got out: let the record show that I'll gladly let myself get repeatedly manipulated by the wind waker speech and be foolishly moved by its implications over rejecting space for humanity and vulnerability in the monstrous and the dispossessed, and then feeling weirdly smug about severing that fleeting attempt at connection and deem it obviously insincere

#tloz #wind waker #ww #ganondorf #zelda fandom critical #it's just not even nice for the writers? #like they obviously tried something here #it's thematically resonant with the rest of the text #you don't have to connect with it personally of course #the complexity of a genuine cause being taken over by self importance and cruelty and what is owed to whom in the bloody aftermath #but to reject that it tried to touch upon something ambiguous and complicated is a shame in my opinion #voluntarily depriving yourself of depth sure is a move I don't understand #(the youtuboys of the world are just *so smug* about this and I find it... kinda tragic modern nintendo seems to agree with them) #(not to mention... seeing a guy coded as foreign going “hey I was sick of having nothing and wanted more for myself” and going) #(“!!!! that's manipulative and illegitimate and deserves no sympathy whatsoever” is a questionnable gut reflex to cultivate in my opinion) #(yearning for a privilege ganon could only ever access through submission can *absolutely* coexist with tyranny and selfishness) #(and isn't that layered and complicated and unfair to everybody involved?) #(doesn't that make for MUCH richer conflict than “he lied because he was greedy for power”?)

[transsextual]

had a really incredible moment this evening. went to my campus art market where one of my friends was selling the tank top i'm wearing - another friend bought it for me and i'm so overjoyed to have it. usually a fit that leans more Traditionally Masculine feels like a costume but tonight it just felt deeply correct and honest and warm. took the opportunity to take some indulgent little pictures because i do not think i have Ever looked more like myself. so happy.

#im like. slowly gently exploring butchness & ... what it means to me & ... trying to release the idea that it requires Masculinity.... #ive always felt pretty disconnected from masculinity as a whole but i'm starting to find points of entry that resonate really deeply #& along with that is like... esp when it comes 2 kink & leather & butchness - which r not intrinsically related but to me they r connected #theres this idea that like. i'm taking myself too seriously. and that nobody's gonna take me seriously. and that i'm too little too young #that im like #obviously inexperienced and a joke and failing and looking stupid . #but ... realized recently that . that's really just the trauma talking #and that i can just like. try shit out. and notice how it feels + what comes up #and then try it again if i so wish #and nothing i try has to be permanent or defining ... and that like . my desires and comforts and joys and needs Should Be Taken Seriously #soooo much of my like. impostor syndrome . has to do with worrying that im not doing it right when compared to other men #but like.... most of the kinky men / leathermen i see are 35+ and cis . #of course im not doing it like them . #so . looking to the queers i know. especially my fellow transmascs as well as lesbians . for like. reassurance and inspiration #has been very healing . & good for my heart & my soul. #:) #yeah . #i think i gotta go read butch is a noun. ... yeah #goodnight :) #speak #materialization #ok2rb

[alizalayne]

omg girlies you’re never gonna believe it but the witchfinder general is hot on my trail

(this is a removal request for beetle by a ??? local political candidate in northern VA???? who is i guess running on an anti witchcraft platform??)

alt text is there if you can’t read the handwriting. i think this is very very very funny. i don’t think she knows girls kiss in it

#my favorite part is the part where she says i am promoting a challenging attitude in children. #that is correct!!!! you got it!!! lol #basically i think this was pulled from a masterlist of gay books by a group so because there’s nothing obviously gay on the flap #the person who happened to get this title just assumed it was there for witchcraft #i think she paged through the preview enough to find out that one of the characters is nonbinary and assumed that was the end of it #anyway she missed the big fat gay kiss :( #and the character who is so similar to her :(((( sad!

[tariah23]

I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.

#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager #I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol #give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway #like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces #not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing #also very nasty #sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽 #sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it- #I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo #one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen #i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol #again #I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho #like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose #of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell… #this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out #a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship #stuff and like discourse #and the behavior of the fans… #these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me #I just think there needs to be a balance lol #like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it #but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾‍♀️ #rambling

[decarbry]

yabureme, willing to suffer for the sake of others bc of his programming, upon receiving a dead bird from the cat and not wanting the cat to think he doesn't appreciate the thought: ... guess i gotta eat this. (cue shiggy walking in to yabureme w his mouth full, feathers sticking out of his mouth and his red eye grimacing. shiggy ends up doing the "HEY. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? DROP IT! you do to dogs)

#boku no hero academia fanart #Yabureme Aizawa AU #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #nomu aizawa #dead animal tw #tw dead animal #it's just a scribble but it's a dead bird #so..... tw #this is so subpar I'm sorry lmao #but tbh this is the third week in a row I've been saddled with a migraine #I'm so tired but I wanted to post something and I had this 50% done a week ago #so..... actually eating the bird is not rational because there's nothing rational about making yourself sick when just accepting the gift #would do the trick as far as the cat is concerned #I have a whole tiny comic planned of Shiggy appearing in the foreground just to shout NO!!! at whatever Yabureme is doing #Yabureme is gonna obey Shiggy obviously but he's gonna dispose of the bird in a way that the cat never finds out he didn't keep the gift ha

[dyrewrites]

Trying to remember the name of a singer I loved when I was twelve, that I found on cassette in a used music store, and no one had heard of her but I wore out the tape.

I don't know why I am doing this, mind you, but I am...

And it is very difficult when I can't remember her name and the only song title I can recall is "Catch 22", which is apparently very common.

I am screaming.

The music was kind edm, kinda pop, kinda r&b and it was something that began with a "T" but probably not the one you just thought of.

I am going to die looking for this woman.

But I must hear her again.

#ahhhhhhh #not writing #obviously #but it is an obstacle to the writing #as i can do nothing else right now #worst part is i have memories of doing this a few years ago #and finding her #and why didn't my dumb ass write down a name #or save a playlist

[finnpeach]

Hunt

(T/HRONE OF GLAS$ SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ PAST Q/UEEN OF SHADOW$ BE WARNED!)

My love for R/owan is boundless, and the series would be infinitely better if he was sick.

This is a multi-part fic of A/elin and R/owan training on a mountain and YEAH! HE HAS A COLD!

not much sneezing yet but it will come I promise

likes comments reblogs always loved and giggled over <3

****

Aelin stalks through the underbrush with lethal silence. Leaves covered with dew from the early morning mist streak across her face, dotting her cheeks. Her prey, a mountain hare the size of her head, nibbles on the sparse grass a few yards away.

She knocks her arrow, slipping in a breath. She can’t wait to see the look on Rowan’s face when she brings back a hare this size. Slowly, she pulls the bowstring back, kissing against her face. The hare turns, startled, breaths coming fast. Now or never–

“hh’rZzSHHh’uh!” 

Aelin gasps at the sound that echoes around the mountain. It cracks like a whip, scaring even the crows nesting in trees. The hare takes off and she desperately releases the arrow after her prey. The point finds its home in the thick trunk of a tree rather than the soft neck of the hare.

There goes breakfast. Her stomach growls pitifully. Seething, she rises from the brush and goes to retrieve her arrow. 

Five minutes later, Aelin stalks back to the makeshift camp she and Rowan had assembled the night before. The Fae prince had forced her to run from the castle to these distant mountains, shifting in and out of her Fae form to master control, where he then informed her they would be camping for a week out in the elements. And she was to hunt their every meal in between training.

It was a pathetic time, especially with the rain that has settled across the mountain. Damp and cold to her bones, Aelin approaches their campsite. Rowan, appearing much drier than she, sits by the fire she had sparked earlier that morning. He looks oddly run down, like he hadn’t slept much the night before.

Aelin is sure he hadn’t. The mountains were too misty to sleep outside without waking up damp, so they had packed just one tent to keep their baggage light. Lying beside Rowan, last night she had been the private audience to his tossing and turning, grumbling, and finally his snoring. 

“You fucking bastard. You scared off breakfast,” she hisses as she approaches, throwing her bow and bundle of arrows down by the tent. Rowan does not look up from the dagger he cleans in his hands.

“And how – snf! – pray tell, did I scare breakfast from here?” He grumbles. Aelin catches the way he sniffles thickly, his nostrils twitching up with the force of it.

She drops her satchel, full of only a bundle of pathetic berries.  “You sneezed.” She tries not to give in the warmth that pools in her lower stomach at the memory of the sound. It’s the first time she had ever heard him sneeze, and she was not disappointed. “For someone so keen on silence, I expected you’d know how to sneeze more quietly.”

Rowan doesn’t even grace her taunting with a reply, or a snarl. He just continues rubbing a cloth down the length of his dagger. Strange. He must be feeling really tired if he didn’t bother to punish her for such a remark. 

She sits down across from the fire, on a log they’d rolled over so they didn’t sit on wet grass. Feigning interest in destemming the berries she’d picked, she studies him through the crackling flames. 

His white hair is loose around his shoulders, creating a curtain that shields the dark tattoo running along his tan face. The tips of his Fae ears poke out just behind the white strands. After weeks of training with him, sleeping out in the elements beside him, she’s learned that he prefers to tie his hair up. It’s so rare to see him with it down.

“More hand to hand combat training today, or magic training?” She asks, breaking the silence that is only marred by the crackling flames.

Rowan sets the dagger aside. “Your job was to hunt. And since you still haven’t caught anything, your job is still to hunt.” He settles his sharp green eyes on her, brows set. If he didn’t piss her off so much, she might actually tremble under his gaze.

She raises her palms in defeat. “Fine, fine. But if you sneeze and scare off my prey again, I won’t be sharing the catch with you.” Even if she’d very much like for him to sneeze again, she’d rather eat first.

In one swoop, she picks up her bow and arrows and satchel again before setting off. With her Fae senses, she could scent a herd of deer in the southwest. Now that would show Rowan. Perhaps she’d bring back a buck, and spear him with its antlers.

As soon as she leaves the camp, nearly out of earshot, she hears the same thunderstrike from before. Perhaps Rowan had been waiting for her to leave.

“hhzjHSHHhieWw!”

A shiver runs down her spine as more startled crows caw in the trees.

****

Two hours later, Aelin returns with a small doe slung across her shoulders.

It’s mid afternoon. She had been lucky a herd was still grazing so late in the morning down by the clearing. She’d been even luckier that Rowan had either gotten his sneezing under control, or learned how to be quiet, because nothing had startled her catch this time.

“Lunch,” she declares to Rowan, dropping the deer to the grass. He hasn’t moved from his spot by the fire. “Is served.”

“It was supposed to be– snf! Breakfast,” he mutters, reaching the dagger at his side from earlier. His voice sounds dulled, like he’s congested.

Aelin rolls her eyes. “Well, it’s not like you helped. And I got us a catch to last us days.” She pats the stomach of the doe proudly. It isn’t very old – there’s still a sprinkling of fawn spots across her back. Aelin feels a twang of guilt for not singling out an older one.

Rowan pinches the bridge of his nose, breathing through his mouth. Aelin hardly has time to prepare before he jerks down towards his crotch, a light mist spraying across his trousers.

“hiHh–... yHhZzSHhhyuu!” A familiar, rushing heat spreads through Aelin’s gut. She swallows, watching as he rubs his nose on his wrist and glares up at her. Is he going to get mad at her for his sneezing?

Rowan chooses not to comment on it, something Aelin is secretly grateful for. “You were– snf! instructed to catch something small. We’re moving camp this afternoon.” He angles the pommel of the dagger towards her.

“What?!”

“Rain is coming tonight and will flood this area. I told you this morning. And now you’ve wasted a young doe’s life.”

A flame of rage flickers to life inside her chest. This is all his fault. “Well, I wouldn’t have wasted jack-shit if you hadn’t ruined my catch earl–”

“Aelin,” he growls, a no-nonsense sound. The tips of his canines poke past his lips. Aelin shuts up immediately. 

He stands, crossing the camp in two strides, and shoves the pommel of the knife against her stomach. She glares beneath his gaze. “You missed the catch because you did not act fast enough. Now you can either carry the doe across the mountain, or… hhH—!” His breath snags, eyes looking off into the distance for a split second. Aelin’s heart hammers in her chest.

He quickly recovers and sniffs again, much to her disappointment, and focuses his gaze on her. “Or you can leave it and realise you wasted a young animal’s life for your pride.” 

Before she can retort, he turns on his heel and she offers a middle finger to his large, muscular back. 

As if sensing her, he says over his shoulder, “And– sNf!– pack up the tent.”

#hey I didn't proof read this im just posting blind #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM #I can't wait to make him snz more #anyway lets hope no vanillas find this bc I will shoot myself in the fucking face <3 #if you're a vanilla KEEP SCROLLING NOTHHING TO SEE HERE!!! OKAY!!!!M #you know im serious ab keeping it in this community when I put goddamn slashes in the names lmfao #normally I don't care #but I do not want anyone finding this and making me feel weirtd #weird* #anyway #ENJOY! this will probably be a 2 parter #2.5 if you include the fight scene #but mmm yeah lemme know what y'all think if there's anything you wanna see #THE MATCHA FIC IS COMING I PROMISE! I WONT LET THOSE BOYS DIE! #hey guys did you notice how I actually write out the curse words and don't write vulgar gesture every 2 paragraphs nor do I write the word #marked #WHY DOES SHE DO THAT #she ought to take notes #oh and a/elin has the fet. obviously. what else would she have