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#oh god im nervous to post this

secretpeaches · 11 months

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solo trip, part two

part one, part three, part four

idol bang chan x gn!reader

words: 4.5k

warnings: begins with some light angst but ends with fluff <3 reader is massively in denial, maybe too much mutual pining, some cursing, mentions of cheating

summary: strangers to friends to more than friends. reader finds out their partner cheated on them while traveling alone, chan helps them forget.

note: i decided to do a part two anyway because i cant stop thinking about this. i’ve been working on this on and off for like at least 2 weeks LOL there’s definitely going to be more parts because this is seriously so fun to write (for me anyway, i know its not perfect) i also went overboard and accidentally made this part super long LOL i hope its still bearable <3 thank u for reading my stuff

—

you couldn't catch a wink of sleep the entire night after your encounter with chan. the combination of sadness, anger, stress, and excitement bottled up inside you just kept you restless, dozing off occasionally but never fully sleeping. sometimes you would cry and other times you'd pick up your phone to check the time and stare at chan's messages to you instead, wondering if you should send another text but not wanting to bother him.

inside your head, it was complete chaos.

you kept thinking of your ex partner. you still hadn’t returned their calls or texts, telling yourself you would just deal with it in the morning, but the anticipation was eating you alive. what were they doing right now? were they with the person they cheated on you with? it made your blood boil to think you could be thrown aside so easily. you didn't even want to give them the satisfaction of an interaction but you knew the issue must be dealt with and your relationship put to rest as soon as possible.

at the same time, you kept thinking of chan.

"stay strong!"

his voice echoed in your head and the entire encounter played in detail like a movie behind your closed eyes. you remembered him standing in front of you at the hotel telling you to stay strong. how he would jump to offer to help you, but stumble over his words when asking. you wanted to talk to him again and forget about everything. maybe talking to him would bring peace to your buzzing brain for a short moment so you could sleep. but it was god knows how late at this point, and you wouldn't dare disturb him, as he was probably already asleep himself.

but the more you thought of chan, the more you thought of the way his eyes reflected the city, and how his blush showed in his ears when he asked for your number. you'd be lying if you said your own heart didn't skip a beat at the memory. he agreed to see you again before your trip was over, but that was only three days away. you kept asking yourself if wanting to see him again after just being cheated on made you a terrible person, but you truly didn't have an answer. you didn't know how this was supposed to work, and you just wanted to forget all the bullshit and not cry anymore as if your conversations with chan were a mind numbing drug.

am i just like my ex-partner? they would never know, though. why should i care what they think? but i want to be the better person. these thoughts were tearing you apart, but why? chan is only your friend. a good friend who wants to help you out. that's all. friends want their friends to make them feel better when theyre sad, thats how it works, right?

this cycle of emotions repeated the entire night.

—

chan didn't want you to know the truth about him, but he couldn't stop thinking about you.

he didn't want you to know he was an idol for fear that things would become weird between you. he ran through all the what ifs in his head and bounced between wanting to be your friend… and the other option. he couldn't even think it. besides, he wasn't allowed to date, so the way he was feeling was taboo regardless.

but still, you wouldn't leave his mind. the way your face lit up when you talked about your home, and your smile when you described the things you loved. he remembered seeing your cheeks wet with tears and eyes red from sobbing, and he still hours later found it hard to believe there was someone out there that would cause you this level of distress. he wanted to see your smile again. your smile was tainted with sadness then, but he wanted to see your real smile. he wanted to hear more of your stories and details of your life. he hardly knew you, but he wanted to know more. of all the people he met, and he met hundreds, no- thousands of people, in and outside of work, he never met anyone that made him feel this way.

chan returned to his dorm well after 3am. his phone had been blowing up with texts from his fellow groupmates asking where he was, why he hadn’t returned to the dorm yet, and if the police should be involved. he opted to ignore all of it and just explain himself in person. he wanted to sit in his head and relive his meeting with you for a little bit longer before he’d be back in the real world. he was greeted at the door by his 7 very concerned groupmates, jisung at the front.

"dude, you said you weren't going to stay at the studio tonight. we were gonna watch a movie tonight with everyone since we have no schedule tomorrow. what took so long?" behind him, changbin whined loudly about how they had been waiting that whole time.

"im sorry guys, i just," chan rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh, unable to think of any other excuse to cover his ass. "i got held up. you know how it is. but i'm here now so let's watch the movie!" he tried to push past them, avoiding answering the question and heading straight for the couch to start the movie, but everyone could immediately tell something was up. they all looked between each other silently, sharing a knowing glance at the suspicious behavior of their leader.

his members joined him on the couch for the movie, some sitting on the floor but most crowding the small couch definitely not meant for 8 people. they weren't going to bug him now about whatever happened, but they would definitely bring it up later.

throughout the movie, chan was distracted. he snuck glances at his phone, a small part of him hoping to see a notification with your name on it. he almost wanted to just send you a text, but figured you were asleep. he hoped you were asleep by now. he wasn't sure after everything that happened, knowing you were probably upset and hurting. he wanted to stay with you longer so that you wouldn't have to be struggling alone. at the same time, he didn't want to come off too strong after you just ended a relationship. he knew you needed time.

these thoughts plagued his mind for the remainder of the movie. even after all his group members were asleep around him, he stayed awake, staring up at the ceiling.

you were only here for three more days. he had to see you again somehow.

—

in the morning, you got ready to leave for the day with your limited amount of sleep. you had already made plans to see your friends and you didn’t want to cancel anything just because of some bump in the road, even if it was more of a mountain than a bump. you had decided that you wouldn’t let this situation with your ex-partner ruin your trip, and you left them a wall of text explaining how your relationship was over as soon as your alarm went off for the day (even though you were already awake at that point). you were going to try your hardest to put on a smile for your friends, even if inside you wanted to just hole up in your hotel room for the remaining two days.

standing in front of your hotel’s bathroom mirror, you took a deep breath. your hands were still trembling from the overwhelming and wildly different emotions you’ve experienced over the past 12 hours, unsure of how the rest of your day would unfold. “you can do this.” you told yourself. “stay strong.” repeating chan’s words, you nodded to yourself.

your phone suddenly buzzed from next to you on the bathroom counter, the screen lighting up. your heart stopped, reading the text from the notification. it was as if you summoned him by the mere thought of him.

chan: how are you feeling today?

you quickly picked up your phone, almost dropping it in the process. you had no idea how to respond to such a simple question.

you: honestly?

you: not great, but better than yesterday

after hitting send, you bit the tip of your index finger and waited for a response. it was weird making new friends like this, it had been a long time since you even tried interacting with someone new for the first time.

chan’s response came quickly. the thought that you both may be sitting with your phones in hand, smiling at each other's texts waiting for a reply, gave you butterflies.

chan: thats good to hear! im glad youre feeling better at least

for chan, he was just as nervous as you, staring at his own message after he sent it. his mind was filled with uncertainty and anxiety, but he was on the edge of his seat in suspense waiting for your response nonetheless.

chan: are you busy today?

you: i’m going to eat lunch with some friends, but nothing after

you: i think tonight we’re going out. clubbing maybe?

there was a pause. the “typing” symbol appeared and disappeared a few times.

chan: if you need recommendations lmk

chan: i know all the good places

you: for lunch or for clubbing?

chan: you decide (;

you laughed out loud at his comment, the fluttering feeling returning with the damn wink he sent. by this point, you were sitting on the floor, back against the bathroom sink cabinets. you almost felt like you were in high school again, recalling the memories of giggling and kicking your feet while texting your crush for the first time.

crush? no way that just crossed your mind. chan is just a friend you made on your trip, and nothing more than that. you kept reminding yourself that chan was literally someone you just met, and you hadn’t even seen his face. the previous night, he had been wearing a black mask and a black hat, his face hard to make out in the dark. the only feature you remember was his eyes, peeking out from under his hat. its okay to admit they were pretty, right?

you: oh yeah?

you: how about both? ill take any and all suggestions

you looked at the time and realized you’d been sitting there a bit longer than you were supposed to. you jumped to your feet with an “oh shit” and gathered your things, rushing out the door to meet your friends.

once at the cafe agreed on by your group, you had no choice but to explain the entire ordeal of the cheating mess to them. upon seeing you, they didn't hesitate to point out your puffy eyes and mood that wasn’t as bright as when they saw you the day before. you really tried to make it not obvious but you must’ve been more transparent with your emotions than intended. you didn’t cry at the recollection like you had the previous night with chan, but the pain of the situation returned in your chest. it was comforting to hear the encouraging words of your friends, empathizing with your situation and ensuring they would make these last few days count. you were really grateful to them for their support on such a short trip.

“you know,” one of your friends piped up with a mouthful of food. “if we’re going drinking tonight, or clubbing or whatever, that’s like the perfect way to meet new people.” they raised an eyebrow at you.

“and forget about that piece of shit who hurt you. you deserve so much better, you know?” there was a murmur of agreement across everyone at the table.

“don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to be suggesting that? ” another chimed in, shaking their head disapprovingly at the comment.

you opened your mouth to speak but hesitated, not sure if you should detail what happened between you and chan to them. if they were talking about meeting new people, then why not? wouldn’t they be kind of proud that you’ve already made a new friend given the circumstances?

“i actually met someone last night.” everyone at your table gasped, a bit dramatically at that, leaning in closer as if you just dropped the hottest news of the year. they start throwing questions at you, talking over each other with who’s and how’s and where’s.

“oh my god, no way!”

“who is he? tell us everything!”

“what does he look like? did you get his number?”

you couldn’t possibly answer everyone at once. just as you opened your mouth to tell the whole story of last night, your phone buzzed from next to you on the table and everyone fell silent. once again, it was as if you spoke him into existence. nobody had to say a word, and each person at the table knew exactly who was texting you. each set of eyes in your group was on you, watching intently as you picked up your phone, reading the text from the notification like before. except, there was no text. your heart felt like it just flatlined inside your chest.

"it's a picture." you choked out, and there was a gasp in unison again as everyone scrambled around you to watch you open the message.

sure enough, chan had sent you a picture. a selfie of him outside, pointing to what looked like a restaurant in the background behind him. finally, you saw his face, and you didn't want to admit it, but he was quite attractive. actually, he was very attractive. his lips were turned up in a mischievous smirk, the hint of a dimple showing in his cheek. his face occupied only the bottom left part of the photo, emphasizing what he was pointing to, but you still couldn't help but look only at him. you had only seen his eyes before, but now that you were seeing all his features, you had no idea someone could be so good looking. he was once again wearing a black hat covering his dark hair, but this time his mask was hanging off his ear, implying he chose to quickly take off his mask before snapping the photo. it was so obvious that he just wanted to send you a selfie, as he could’ve absolutely just told you the name of the restaurant without an accompanying photo, but the corniness was cute. he…was cute. after the photo was another text.

chan: this place is my favorite. i always come here when i have some free time

chan typed out "we should go together" but deleted it, unable to bring himself to hit send. he had never been so bold in his life. more bold than anything he'd done in his career, and he wasn't sure if he was excited or anxious about that fact. staring at his phone as he walked, he bit the knuckle of his index finger through his mask as he waited for your response. was the selfie too forward? what if you didn't like it? his face was burning up with the slight embarrassment of showing you himself this way. he couldn't decide if he wanted to commit to just saying screw it or if he was regretting everything. he just wanted to get his coffee and go back to his dorm before someone noticed him out and caused a scene. he was lucky his managers let him go out for coffee alone because they trusted he could handle himself for thirty minutes.

once again, your friends all talked at once, raving over his good looks. you avoided agreeing out loud but you did agree.

"wait a minute," one of your friends leaned over your shoulder pointing to the screen. "isn't that… isn't that here? like, outside?"

your friend zoomed in on the restaurant in the background of the photo and sure enough, the cafe your group was currently sitting in was right above his finger.

"no way. no fucking way." you said flatly as you covered your mouth. "you're right."

it's as if the gods of fate were messing with you. or maybe it was all just a blessing in disguise that you might only recognize long after the fact.

"oh my god, what do i do?" your hand was still over your mouth as you tried to reason with the situation. your friends were still ogling over the picture on your phone that was no longer in your hands. you felt like your heart was beating in your ears. "doesn't that mean he could just walk in here any second-"

"then go! go find him outside!" there was a light push on your shoulder behind you as your group egged you on. "go, it's okay, we'll be here."

"woah, a-are you sure? i mean he's just a fr-"

"don't worry about that, just go!"

there was no time to argue, you grabbed your phone from the hands of your friends, scrambled to collect your things and shuffled hurriedly to the exit. the pressure from your friends to go out and find chan outside gave you no time to properly think about this decision. the light of the sun was blinding as you swung open the door. you barely had half a second to react to someone entering at the same time you were exiting, and you missed that window completely. without even a flinch, you collided with another body at full force, nearly knocking you both to the ground, their phone and your bag scattering across the pavement between you.

"o-oh my god, i am so sorry-" you began your apologies, bending down to pick up the dropped items strewn at your feet.

"...y/n?"

you froze. that voice. the same one that had been echoing in your mind since last night, telling you to be strong. the realization hit you like a bus.

"chan?"

lifting your head, you were met with the same eyes from the previous night. in the daylight, they shined even more, and you could've sworn you saw yourself in them. he had crouched in front of you to help pick up your belongings, but you didn't realize how close he was to you until you lifted your head and your eyes met his.

initially startled by the collision, when chan realized it was you who slammed into him and not just some random person, he was relieved. he thought there'd be no way he could see you again in such short notice, and here you were, meeting by pure chance.

however, this was possibly the worst time he could’ve run into you. anyone could recognize him as bang chan from stray kids at any moment. he wished he could just stop and talk again like he had with you before, but he couldn’t risk being noticed alone with a stranger in public for fear of any rumors or his company finding out. this was the moment he wished for since yesterday, but he couldn't indulge himself. for all he knew, someone could have already noticed him and could be taking his picture from afar at that very moment. yet, at the same time, he didn’t want you to think he was ignoring you by not interacting with you. the situation had him stunned. he had to make this quick.

you noticed his mask was back over his face, but you could still see him smile underneath. a part of you wished you could take it off so you could see the man from the selfie in person. you had to confirm if he was really so good looking with your own eyes, instead of leaving it to your imagination and the barrier of your phone screen.

chans face was burning. his mind was racing. he couldn't pick a single emotion to express. he hoped you couldn't see how red his face felt.

you, on the other hand, had no idea what to say, your own cheeks burning. especially since you had just tried to walk through him as if he was the door. you snuck a glance down to his shoulders, where your own frame just made hard contact with. his shoulders were broad, and though he was wearing a loose tshirt, you could tell he was pretty built. none of these details you noticed in the dark yesterday, but now it was clear.

"here, let me help you." chan was the first to break the silence and the growing tension, noticing your lack of words, and eyes that had wandered down below his own. your wandering stare didnt help the warmth in his face. he chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "this is actually crazy. i can't believe we just ran into each other like this." he grabbed your bag from the ground, patting off the dirt before handing it back your way. "literally."

you lifted his phone and motioned it his way in exchange. you cleared your throat before speaking, reminding yourself that this was a real thing that was happening. "i-i know, i was really shocked when you sent that picture of the cafe." you laughed nervously as the both of you took your respective items and stood. "because i was already there."

"oh- really?" his eyes widened in surprise.

"did you just realize?"

"well you walked into me…" he shrugged sarcastically. "kinda made me forget where i was…"

"hey, it was an accident!" you whined playfully.

"kidding, im kidding!" he laughed as you slapped him on the arm. even now, your conversation was so natural. even with the tinge of awkwardness, it truly felt like you had met years prior. in the daylight, chan could see your face in detail and was amazed. were you this beautiful the night before? your smile as you laughed at his stupid sarcasm made his stomach jump. he could see the hints of your true smile he had been hoping for, the sadness he had noticed the previous night now almost gone. your eyes were no longer red or glossed over with tears, but instead bright, the sunlight showing bits of color. in the sun, your hair even showed strands of color that he didnt notice previously. the word beautiful wasn’t enough, he didn’t even know of a word to replace it.

when the conversation fell silent, you noticed he was just staring into your eyes as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t. as if there was something he wanted to express but didn’t have the right words. you found yourself lost in his gaze, trying to find the answer somewhere in his expression. 10 seconds of this awkward silence felt like 10 minutes, but you weren’t complaining.

he cleared his throat, changing the subject at the realization he was just staring at you. he had been standing around too long.

"well, i should probably get going-" he stated suddenly, his nerves getting the better of him.

"aren't you going inside?"

"right." shit. "actually, i just wanted to take a walk so i came this way to take the picture of the cafe as a recommendation. yes." he hated that he had to make an excuse, but there was no other option. "but i do need to get going, i'll text you, yeah?"

you found his words a bit strange but you trusted him. you gave him a smile and a small nod in response. you were a bit disappointed. you thought you would be able to sit with him the cafe, talk with him a bit more, but he seemed in a rush to leave. maybe he was nervous, or maybe he really did just have somewhere to be. at this point, you only had 2 more days and you were done feeling disappointed on this trip.

if that bullshit fate was real, then this was meant to happen. he was meant to find you out there last night, and you were meant to find him now. you wanted to see him and the universe magically presented him in front of you. you had to take the chance given to you or you would regret it forever.

as he turned to start walking, you stopped him abruptly with a hand to his arm. "hey, wait-"

you swallowed anxiously, as his attention was on you. "my friends and i are going out tonight, i think i mentioned it earlier, but um.. would you like to join us?"

you were gazing up at him with a hopeful sparkle in your eyes, your hand touching the bare skin of his arm sending an electric current through his body. it was a mindless action, but you could feel it too. his smile returned to his lips and without thinking of any of the possibilities or consequences, he agreed to your offer. he just wanted to spend more time with you.

“yeah.” he nodded. “yeah, i’d love to.”

"great!" your hand returned to your side and you grinned, your face lighting up. "i'll text you the details then!" you didnt think he would actually accept, but neither of you had any idea your feelings of wanting to spend more time with each other were shared. it had only been one day, and two interactions, but you couldnt deny the connection you shared. you asked yourself, this is what making friends is like, right? its normal to find your friends attractive. friends always have butterflies when they look into eachothers eyes…right?

you turned to go back into the cafe, giving chan a wave as you opened the door. he gave a small wave back as he watched you leave, and just like that, the moment was over and you were both back on your way.

chan was smiling the entire walk back to the dorms, staring at his shoes as he walked. he felt like his head was in the clouds. it wasn't until he was halfway to his dorm that he realized what he had just agreed to, and the severe impracticality of it. the reality of all this was that there was no way in hell he'd be able to meet you outside somewhere, even at night. meeting under the bridge that first night was a miracle because it was secluded. in his mind, you were expecting him to go meet somewhere in public with your group of friends. it just wasn't possible. regardless…he was going to do it anyway. even if it meant you finding out that he was a celebrity.

chan felt a buzz in his pocket, and he looked at his phone to see a message from you. he opened it quickly to see you had sent a selfie, and he almost tripped over his own feet. you were smiling, eyes in a wink and tongue poking out out from your lips. your fingers were formed into a peace sign next to your cheek.

you: it was nice seeing you again! see you later?

yes, you were a risk he was willing to take.

#oh god im nervous to post this #i hope this is okay #bang chan scenarios #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfics #bang chan x reader #bang chan #stray kids #skz #skz scenarios

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feelo-fick · 5 months

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WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!

"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."

—

This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA

still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )

au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!

the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.

unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?

meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?

that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!

... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.

—

WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)

#again i do apologize for not including scarabs reference SOB it was taking so looooong and if i didnt finish it by now i wouldve just never #posted it at ALL so im glad im able to get this out now #again still dont have a name... but would love suggestions if people have any :D #ive been thinking so hard about the name and havent landed on aaaanything dude #creepy crawlies? tell-tale?? witching hour?? GAHH THERES SO MANY OPTIONS AND I DONT KNOW WHETHER I WANT TO GO WITH SYMBOLISM OR SILLY SIMPL #but anyways time for real tags #prohibitedwish #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #uhh idk what else to put HAHAHHA #dont wanna tag fionna and cake cause i feel like thats just a lie idk #ACKKK I CANT BELIEVE IM FINALLY POSTING THIS I AM. SO NERVOUS MY HANDS ARE SO SWEATY YOU DOTN EVEN KNOW #okay okay. sending post now oh god

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bugtoast · 20 days

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guys what the fuck what the fuck a (kinda big??? idk???) youtuber just made a video about that one tumblr myth analysis that i chimed in on awhile ago and the video ended the video on my little analysis part?????? what???? anyways uh??? hi!!!! if you're coming from the Bettina Levy video, hi!!!! if you're looking for more analysis of things like that you're probably not gonna get it, cause I only really post random shit about my hyperfixations on here!!! i mean i might do more things like that if i get hyperfixated on something but like!!! hi!!!

idk im just??? im so surprised that im now in a video with (as of the time of writing this) 8.7k views????

#Btw im only posting this as a ' ' just in case ' ' scenario #like if i randomly get a bunch of attention n all that #if nothing happens then i'll probably delete this #anyways i am like??? im so nervous right now?? not in a totally bad way but in a ' ' oh my god what is happening right now? ' ' sorta way?#im just not used to having this much attention on me #even if its from a secondhand source?#like?? what??#anyways this post is meant to be taken /positively!!!#textpost #might delete this later #rambles

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becauseplot · 8 months

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Staying Level-Headed

You know everyone was looking at qPhil coming back chanting “KILLZA KILLZA KILLZA” and like yeah we all want it, and we sort of got it through the initial chaos: the lava cast over the presidential building, the threats of further action against the Federation. It's not exactly the violent/furious rampage some might've been wanting or expecting, though.

And honestly? I'm glad---because it makes perfect sense.

Since the start, Phil has been very upfront about his thoughts concerning the egg situation. He knew and believed and repeatedly expressed (to his kids, sometimes!) that there was a very good chance they were going to die, or get taken away. He's always been very practical about death and treated it as an inevitable force that can't be evaded. Man, you can trace it back in his character so far. When the Nightmare happens, and Phil is holding a dying Chayanne in his arms, he says something to the effect of, "I'm so sorry, they just don't want you to live in this world."

A fact. A hard, cold, undeinable fact.

Phil is pragmatic. Married to Death. Hinted at having lived a long, long time; seen many things, outlived many people.

He is a survivor. And rule number one of being a survivalist: always be prepared to be faced with the cruel, the unfair, and the unexpected.

So, yes, of course it hurts. He never wanted his kids to be taken away from him---but he's braced for the blow. He has been mentally fortifying himself for a moment like this for months, and on another level, most of his life.

Thus, after he has a moment to allow himself to break, he takes a deep breath and keeps a level head. He talks to Tubbo and Fit, lets them fill him in on the situation, doesn't demand answers they don't have. When they tell him about how the island's president has gone off the deep end, Phil's immediate instinct is to believe the best in Forever and that he must be being manipulated by the Federation in some way. (Seriously! He draws that conclusion so fast! He immediately recognizes Forever as a victim rather than a threat or an enemy, despite Forever's position of power and "emotional unavailability.") And yeah, Phil instagates the lava cast, which is still griefing, but it's a localized, controllable form of griefing that is inflicted upon Federation territory only, and he follows it up with threats of further action with a viable plan. Then, he immediately plunges into an investigation of the old freezer/prison with Tubbo to look for any possible clues left behind.

Look, this isn't to say that the way that qPhilza---or ccPhilza, for that matter---is handling the situation "better" than anyone else, or that the other characters aren’t capable of making rational decisions. All of the other characters' various reactions, breakdowns, retaliations, and quests for answers are believable, well-played, and fascinating. (Like fuck dude the ccs are COOKING right now; and objectively speaking, the mines are pretty goddamn funny lol.) I just want to outline exactly why qPhil's reaction works so, so, so well for his character and why I'm ultimately glad that he didn't go all hyper-murdery, stewing about putting the Federation's heads on a pike or storming the Federation HQ or anything like that.

((Also, it's worth mentioning that all of his plans aren't """perfect""" decisions for the situation! Like his plan to play keep-away with Forever's briefcase of drugs until the effects of his last dose wear off. We know how unstable Forever becomes when the withdrawal starts to set in---he began to panic and pulled a gun on Phil. As terrible as the pills are for him, Forever becomes a danger to himself and the people around him when the medication wears off. He's so fragile right now, so if Phil going to try to get him to go cold-turkey, ideally, Phil would need to do it in a safer environment than just, fucking anywhere. Also Phil's follow-up plan is to assassinate Forever, potentially by taking advantage the apparent trust Forever has in Phil??? Like I get it, desperate times require desperate measures, and it still makes for an interesting story line that I would absolutely gobble up, but OW???? Like qPhil, bestie, are you sure that's the best plan in the long run????? Anyway, I digress.))

So that's about it. I miss my little huevos but I love this arc SO so much and I love pPhil and I have so many thoughts about him and I can't wait to see where this goes. Rambles over. Gn <3

#if this is shit uhhhhhhh blame it on the fact that someone let me have internet access. and i need to go to bed.#dont mind me im just rambling #qsmp philza #qsmp character analysis #qsmp meta #<-kinda?? yeah kinda #q!philza #so fucking nervous i dont usually do long ass character analysis posts like these fuck man how do yall do this all the time. fuck!!#i post my Thoughts and the 287439 demons in my head are like #“youre wrong. youre SO wrong oh my god youre so wrong. delete your blog right now.”

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strawberri-uyu · 2 years

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10 things i hate about gyu masterlist ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

synopsis: “there’s only ten things i hate about you… kim mingyu…” a seventeen smau loosely (and i mean it, very loosely) based on the 1999 rom-com 10 things i hate about you.we follow our main character im yn the adopted sibling to im nayeon, and their rocky relationship as they both navigate through hybe-tech high school. let’s watch the romance blossom between yn and campus “bad boy” kim mingyu. on top of all the petty highschool drama, what brought these two lovers together?

pairing: kim mingyu x gn!reader / side of reader x ex! / yoon jeonghan x im nayeon

featuring: our favorite ensemble seventeen, im nayeon and hirai momo from twice, and finally jeong jaehyun from nct

genre: modern high school au, social media au, bad humor and writing (will include some written parts!)

warnings: occ seventeen, nico's writing and humor, slow updates!, profanity, mentions of cheating, swearing, references to violence, alcohol, high school drama, & crap writing 😍

a/n: hiii everyone this is my first smau and piece of writing on tumblr, i haven't written in a long time so please bear with me. as for right now i do not have any warnings yet because i haven't fully drafted out all that happens but i will update them when the time comes. ah and of course constructive criticism is welcomed but i will block you for hate. also i don't ship the twice members with the seventeen members this is just for the storyline !!

status : started 071423

taglist open! (send me an ask!)

profiles: yn has friends? | kim mingyu is an idiot | a man and his tiger

prologue: scene one | scene two | scene three

act:

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myork · 2 years

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gtkm

biases [1/2]: ★ Park Jimin ★

"If your heart has grown bigger, that also means you have also let go and emptied out many things. This shows that you have let go of the bad things and are left with nothing but happiness and freedom."

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jaztice · 9 months

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ya boi made a ttrpg ashcan

Hi guys! So I just posted an ashcan for a ttrpg I’ve been working on called Extra Ordinary to itch.io for $3 (it should also eventually be up on DriveThruRPG for the same amount). It’s a Belonging Outside Belonging game about extraordinary kids on the run from danger in an ordinary world. The PDF is 49 pages long and includes 4 different Kid playbooks, the basics of how to play, and enough content to help you get started with creating your own game. It can be run with or without a GM, and it’s heavily inspired by the game Wanderhome by Jay Dragon!

The full game obviously isn’t done yet, and I really need playtesters and feedback on it, so if y’all could check it out or share it as you see fit, that’d be super amazing! The vibes are based off media like Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson, Escape to Witch Mountain, Hanna, and Stranger Things (according to my friends it’s also apparently very Animorphs-esque, which I never read sadly), so if you like any of that stuff, I encourage you to give it a try!

#ttrpgs #belonging outside belonging #im so nervous about this yall gHGHGGHGGGG #do i know how to do any of this? no #is that gonna stop me? lol what do u think #oh god i hope people like it #my post #indie ttrpg

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oh-katsuki · 3 months

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original pinned!

hello :)) okay so i mentioned this a little bit ago, but i will be moving blogs in the coming days and will be shifting entirely onto the blog @woahjo. i've decided to go by the same pseud i currently use, (because i feel like i'm lying if i don't and i hate that LMFAO) though i considered going by a new one, and my ao3 will be staying the same. i also won't be reposting anything to the new blog just yet (maybe a few of my favorites eventually), but i'll be leaving this blog up! the new blog (ofc) is a writing blog and will function essentially the same way this one does. please come join me over there if you like. i'd feel very honored <3

i'm not sure how many people really care all that much about what i have to say about this, but i'll say a little bit anyway bc i feel a lot of responsibility and big feelings towards this blog.

tldr; i'm switching blogs. it's silly to get emotional but i love it here, i love you, please come say hello over on the new one if you'd like.

i've been feeling this way for a while, and while the recent discourse had an effect, it's mostly a result of my own feelings. i just think it may be time to get a bit of a fresh start. i've had this space for nearly three years now and the community that's been built on this blog is beyond what i ever could have imagined when i first started writing. i know i'm getting a little sappy, but frankly, im shocked people wanted to be here and follow my writing at all. (i never know what to say when people tell me they do) it really humbles me and i hope to continue writing for many many years to come.

i recently took a long look at the way i view fandom culture and space, as well as how it affects me, and i sort of came out on the other side realizing that it might be time for a change of scene. i love this space. i love this community. it's something that i am deeply proud of to a point that i feel very emotional over leaving (clearly lol). in fact, i'm incredibly nervous about posting this. there's a lot of anxiety in posting your art for people to see and it makes me feel vulnerable to type a post like this telling y'all just how much i appreciate you and the part you've all played in this lovely little spot. i'm very emotionally attached to this place.

but!!! i'm excited for the type of creative refresh effect a new blog might have, as well as the ability to get to chat with you guys a little more and make friends. things get lost on here (both because tumblr sucks and because my blog is so messy that it makes me physically nervous to think about) and im hoping to be able to keep my new blog clean and tidy so that everything is easier to find. i've been feeling writer's block for a while now and i feel like having "more space to roam" (for lack of a better phrase) might have a really nice effect.

anyway, all this to say that i love it here. for those of you that choose to follow me to my new blog, please come say hello. and of course the group of old mutuals who are no longer active, i love y'all. if you ever come back to tumblr when ur old and gray, come say hi since i'll probably be writing x reader anime fic still. lol

#i would tag this with my important tag but i can't FIND IT #DAMMMMNNNN ITTTT #anyway #i know im corny please don't laugh at me #this blog has just been very formative for me and has been such an outlet #and ik it's dumb to be attached to something as silly as a blog.. but i def am #and for fear of sounding sappy or silly #i'd really love it if you came to join me on my new one #not just because you think im cool.. but because the new username is sexy and i think that it's important to acknowledge that #i feel so shy posting this #oh my god #SCREEAAAAMMMMMSSS IM SO NERVOUS #this is so poorly written WHATEVER IM NERVOUS #this can be reblogged if you'd like!! doesn't have to be though #i may make a more concise and short post for it eventually too

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