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#okay i should go finish what i was doing
obsob · 1 year
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big man...why is he so big...(hes full of love)
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lomlhotchner · 1 year
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❛ faking it! ❜ … aaron hotchner
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↠ the heart wants what it wants masterlist
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༘♡ ⋆。˚ SUMMARY : the mission is on, act like a rich loving couple, dig some information, catch the unsub. seem easy enough right?
༘♡ ⋆。˚ WARNINGS : high tensions 😫 mutual pining, cursing, they’re shy okay, the plot doesn’t really make sense (i tried), english isn’t my first language!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ HANA’S NOTES : here we goooo!!!!! thank you so much for yalls patience 😭😭 this is part two to for zipper but you don’t need to read the it to understand this! i am so sorry from the bottom of my heart if this doesnt make sense lmao i dont know what i was going for. hope yall enjoy 💗
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“Remember the plan?”
You took a deep breath and nodded your head, “Yeah, go in there, bond with the rich, find the unsub, piss him off so that he’ll take the bait, and then lure him outside so that he can get his ass kicked.” you stated confidently.
Hotch raised his eyebrows at you, amused “When does the ass kicking happen?”
You shrugged your shoulders, a smirk playing on your lips, “Whenever I get the chance.”
He scoffed out a laugh, making you grin at the sound. You arrived at the elevator, sending the elevator operator a warm smile in greeting before stepping inside. He was an old man with grey hair, he had wrinkles and the most comforting smile on his face.
“Where are you two lovebirds headed?” he cheekily asked while looking at the both of you with a knowing look.
If only he knew.
Hotch smiled at Stan—the nametag says, “Dinner.”
Stan nodded his head and press the respected level before sending you a warm smile, "May I say you look stunning in that dress.”
You shyly laughed and lowered your head, but before you could thank him, Hotch’s deep voice cut you off, “Doesn’t she?” he spoke with the softest tone you have ever heard and when you look up at him, he was already looking down at you with the certain look in his eyes that anyone can decipher as fondness.
No, he’s just being in character. Don’t be delusional.
Hotch has been acting different with you since the undercover task began. Although the whole point of it was to make everything up and act, you can’t help but think that he was just showing a part of himself where no one has the privilege to know. In easier words, you think he wasn’t really acting.
So does that mean the almost kiss…. ?
Do you really want to go there?
You weren't sure.
You guys continue to stare at each other not noticing the operator’s grin. He has seen a handful of couples in this part of the job and he knows when he sees fools in love.
The elevator dinged, indicating you arrived at the respected floor. You guys broke from the little staring contest, your cheeks heating up. Sending Stan a smile before walking out of the elevator.
The venue was enchanting, to say the least. Bright elegant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Beautiful flower arrangements placed on the table. People in gorgeous dresses and suits and suddenly you felt underdressed compared to them. Because this isn’t actually your real lifestyle, but for them, this is just a normal Tuesday.
Hotch interrupted your thoughts by bend down so he was level with your ear, “I didn’t get the chance to say this earlier, but you look absolutely gorgeous.” he whispered before standing up to his full height.
You couldn’t even count how many times you were flustered tonight. Your body was all tingly with excitement as you looked up at him, “Thank you, honey. You don’t look too bad yourself.” you teased.
A smirk formed on his lips. You could see his Adams apple bob at how hard he swallowed and maybe it’s the lights, but you can vividly make out his rosy cheeks after your comment.
He subtly tries to hide his face in the crook of your neck, giving it a soft kiss for the extra effect. “Did you turn on your coms?” he mumbled.
Your eyes widen a little. right, you’re undercover. You move to your ear and click the device resulting in it turning on with a beep.
The audio cracks for a moment before JJ’s voice appeared, “Y/N? Hotch? Can you guys hear us?”
“Yeah, we can hear you JJ.”
“Okay, good. Any signs of the unsub?” she asked.
“No, not yet.” you answered, giving the place a once over for any suspicious acts.
“Nope.” Emily sounded through the coms. Followed by the other’s negative response of the unsub’s whereabouts.
“Alright, everyone be cautious. We know the unsub is unstable, keep an eye out for any weird behaviors.” Hotch ordered as he led you to the ballroom.
He took two champagne glasses and handed you one of them. You sent him a small as gratitude. Your hand was shaking slightly when you bought the glass to your lips.
Hotch took notice of that and rub his hand at the small of your back, “Relax.” he smiled.
You shyly nodded your head as you both moved to one of the tables. Taking a seat that Hotch has gracefully pulled out for you.
"You okay?" Hotch asked, sitting beside you.
"Yeah, kinda excited."
"Excited to catch a murderer?" he raised his eyebrows.
"That, but also this." you gestured to the ballroom you guys are in, "Everything is just so fancy, and pretty! I can't even remember the last time I actually got ready and wear a dress." you chuckled, not realizing that your hand has gravitated to the tip of Hotch's fingers, softly playing with it.
Hotch felt like he was going to melt at how adorable you are, plus the feeling of your hands on his skin? He's a goner. He has always known that you were a touchy person, having to see you hug or link your arms with the rest of the squad except him was not entirely unnoticeable. So when he gets the chance to have this pleasure, he isn’t sure what to do.
As you continued to talk about … —okay, he isn’t entirely paying attention— he has a small smile played on his lips. He just can't tear his eyes away from you. His eye move to your cheeks, your eyes, the flutter of your eyelashes. Have you always been this pretty?
"Hotch? Did you hear what I said?" you tap the inside of his palm, trying to get his attention back to whatever daydream he went.
Hotch could feel his cheeks at getting caught red handed, "Yeah, yeah, sorry just got distracted."
You almost laughed at the absurdity, "By what? Me? You play this part too good Hotch, cause I can almost believe you're in love with me." you eyes widen slightly at your word vomit, you instantly regretted what you said but Hotch surprised you by laughing along.
"Oh honey, you have no idea." he softly chuckled.
God, I hate how he can act so good.
Your eyes move to surveillance the room as a distraction and noticed something, "Okay, don't look right now but the table on our left have been staring at us for the past 5 minutes."
Hotch subtly nodded his head and glanced at the table. It was a group of men in suits staring at you guys.
You. Specifically.
Oh.
He clenched his jaw and protectively wrapped his arms around your waist. Your stomach fluttered at the sudden contact. "We should split up and dig more information. I'm going to those gentlemen, and you can scout out the ladies over there."
You cleared your throat, brushing off your bashfulness, "Yeah, that's- that's a good idea." you stood up and brush the wrinkles of your dress. "See you later, handsome." you boldly left a kiss on his cheek, softly patting his shoulder.
Hotch felt like he was in a daze as he stared at you walking away. His tongue poke his cheek, trying to fight back a smile from forming when you sneak a peek around your shoulder, send him a cheeky smile and a wink.
He composed himself before he trudged to the table, “Evening, gentleman.” he greeted, noticing how they all pretend that they weren’t staring at his date. Fake date. “How are you guys enjoying the event?”
Enjoy drooling at my date? he wanted to add.
On the other side of the room, you have to control yourself from getting overly sheepish at the compliments the girls are giving you guys.
Both of you guys.
You and Hotch. Together.
“How long have you guys been with each other?”
“You guys look so good together."
"The ring is beautiful."
"He's so fine, girl. You are so lucky,"
"Are you joking? He's lucky one. Look at her, she's gorgeous."
The compliments are making you blush, "Thank you, ladies." you smiled, glancing at Hotch absentmindedly.
They were right, he is fine.
You shook your head, remembering the real reason you are here. "So. do you guys know the host personally?"
The girl on your right, —Barbara you think, "Oh no, I just work for them. But this one," she nudged the girl beside her, "works as a personal assistant for the host's mom."
Your eyebrows rose at the new information, "Oh? The pay's probably good huh?"
She chuckled, "I don't want to say much but it is definitely better than working as an accountant. If you exclude the constant bickering between her and her son in law."
That peeked your interest, but before you can dig up more information, Barbara spoke, "Oh my god. Your husband is literally head over heels for you. He won't stop ogling you!"
All of you subconsciously turned your head at the direction she was looking at.
Your eyes meet Hotch's and low and behold, he was already looking at you. And at the sudden addition of eyes his own widened as he shy away from the attention.
The sight made you grin.
The girls giggled and moved their conversation to a different topic. But you can’t help yourself from taking a peak at Hotch again. You both made eye contact, sharing a flustered smile.
Okay. What the fuck’s that about.
Countless of thoughts running through your head. The interaction have caught Emily’s attention as you make eye contact with her. What was that? Her face wearing a shocked, questionable look, as she teasingly smirked.
You subtly shrugged your shoulders. I have no fucking clue.
If this is going on for the whole night, you dont know how much your heart can take.
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reblog / tell me what you think for a smooch <3 check out my other works!
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riddlerosehearts · 2 months
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vil/idia valentine's day headcanons 💜💙
(as usual this post ended up more detailed and lengthy than i originally planned it to be, but i hope someone will enjoy it because i love this silly little ship of mine.)
idia has never liked valentine's day. it always seemed so pointless and frivolous, and there's so many people out talking and holding hands and kissing. probably all judging him for being alone. the only reason he cares at all about it is because many of the games he plays have limited-time valentine's events, so he usually just stays in his room all day playing through them.
and sure, idia loves a good romance anime, and he has more than a few favorite ships he thinks should totally be canon, but that's all just fiction. it's an escape from a reality where true love doesn't exist.
or so he used to believe. he never thought he'd find someone he really wanted to be with, or that they'd want him in return. not until, somehow, vil became that person. all the dating sims in the world couldn't have prepared him for this.
he knows he can't just hide out in his room on valentine's day when he has someone so important to spend it with now. but how can he give vil the happiness he deserves?
he could build a high-end custom laptop from scratch for him, or buy him a bouquet of his favorite flowers and take him to the fanciest restaurant in all of twisted wonderland, even though the latter idea utterly terrifies him. he could use his tech skills and his family's money to give vil the world, but if he knows his boyfriend at all, he knows that he probably doesn't want anything that extravagant.
(and besides, if the vil schoenheit tried to go out in public with his partner on valentine's day they would just get swarmed by paparazzi and idia is sure he'd roll a 1 and fail the stealth check required to avoid them. yeah, that's a quest path he will not be choosing anytime soon.)
idia knows it would be best to get vil something simple, but still thoughtful enough to make him feel special. and in the shoujo manga he likes, people always give handmade chocolate as a gift. but his cooking skill is stuck at level 1, and even if he could grind it up to 100, vil wouldn't want a box of chocolates loaded with sugar and calories. it can't just be some normie thing either--it has to stand out from the flowers and candies and love letters he gets swamped with by his fans.
remembering how vil has praised his gear designs for ortho before, he decides to buy some purple and gold beads and string them together to make a necklace. in the middle he places a small heart-shaped bead, adding an LED light inside that makes it pop with a subtle glow.
he also makes a handmade card that with a design that lights up at the press of a button. i imagine he'd put a pixel heart inside of it similarly to this zelda themed pop-out card i found:
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they're both very simple projects for idia, but he feels certain that vil will love them.
and as for vil, he thinks valentine's day is a lovely holiday. it's an opportunity for people to celebrate the beauty of love, and to relax and take better care of themselves. even if you're single, you can still pamper yourself and celebrate with a friend. vil always tries to take the day off from any obligations if he can, though sometimes there are things he just can't slack off on.
this year, though, he absolutely will not be doing any photoshoots or interviews. this year he has a boyfriend, and yes he knows that idia hates the holiday but in his mind that's even more of a reason why he needs to be there for him. he won't allow idia to spend even one more second feeling lonely and unloved on valentine's day.
he initially has no idea what he should get idia, and ends up getting laughed at by cater who catches him googling "valentine's gifts for gamers" on his phone. look, just because he's acted in a few romance films and is considered a teen heartthrob by countless people who don't even know him, doesn't mean he automatically knows everything about dating.
cater and idia are friends, though, and cater knows enough about what he likes to be able to help vil pick a couple things out.
the first thing vil settles on is a lego building set that depicts a bouquet of roses. it would be fun for the two of them to build them together, and he wouldn't have to worry about idia inevitably forgetting to water them.
he also gets a card that's even dorkier than the one idia made for him--i'm specifically picturing this:
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he tucks a note inside of it, with a short list of just a few of idia's best qualities. he hopes it can remind idia of why he likes him and wants to be with him and not someone else.
and lastly, he purchases a pack of bath bombs made to look like colorful D20 dice--relaxing, good for the skin, and aesthetically in line with idia's interests.
when valentine's day comes, they exchange gifts in vil's dorm room at pomefiore, where they've planned to spend the day. vil thinks the things idia has made for him are beautiful and he tells him as much.
but when idia recieves his gifts, he starts mumbling something about how a weirdo shut-in otaku like him doesn't deserve to be seen as a viable love interest and how vil must have had a confusion status debuff on him this whole time.
vil: "excuse me? you're not insulting my SSR boyfriend, are you? you don't think that i would try to max out the affection points for your route if i wasn't sure you were the perfect option for me?"
idia, who just knows the tips of his hair are turning pink: "s-sorry... i ran into a glitch that triggered the wrong dialogue. what i meant to say was, of course you picked a genius like me to be your player 2 instead of some lame normie who you'd have zero percent compatibility with! how could anyone but me match up to your top-tier stats?"
vil just smiles and rolls his eyes.
idia then reveals that he actually did get vil something sweet, but originally felt too nervous to give it to him.
it's a pack of candy flavored lip glosses. vil laughs and insists that they'll have to kiss enough times to taste test each flavor. idia's whole head of hair turns pink.
they spend the whole day together, doing things like watching an old romcom that vil adores or playing a co-op game that idia picked for them, and of course putting the lego rose bouquet together.
they also eat a nice meal together in a private place that vil set up for them in pomefiore--and all the other students know they'll incur their dorm leader's wrath if they dare to bother him on his date.
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sexynetra · 4 months
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What if instead of finishing all my WIPS that I’m hoping to have out by the end of the year I started writing another Drabble about the fallout of a collapsing relationship and infidelity. Hm. What if 🤔 💭 ✍️
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chaotictomtom · 3 months
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this month's rough i might absolutely need to do commissions
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anaalnathrakhs · 1 month
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i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.
#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating#i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice.#i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything.#i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years#i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating#i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group#nowhere i go will be free of obligations#i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway#my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not#they see me binge and nothing happens#we just ignore it#i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished#hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me#i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life#both meals with other people and my ritual binges#i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging#and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food#to other people#it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction#my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want#or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie#or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something#and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :)#and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly.#so badly that no one can deny i need help#i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital.#no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim#i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.#so fuck me i guess
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xhanisai · 8 months
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what is it with these weird americans claiming that racism is no longer a thing just because where they live is somewhat regulated or whatever and all that bullshit????
#delete later#long story short i came across this youtube video that was recommended to me#it was a black queer man and I thought he was going to just discuss about the rise of rampant hate against white people in america#and i was like okay let's watch this cos I too believe no one should face any discrimination for who and what they are and that education o#the past is very good#but then he would go on about statistics in America and say that the black community themselves are getting into these unfortunate situatio#s#and the world is much better now compared to decades ago and that they should be lucky at the way we live now because it isn't like back th#n#but im like#sure these dumbass tiktokkers say stupid shit#BUT#even now in the uk almost every POC including myself have experienced discrimination and racism#including black people#and ive seen horrible things said and done to black people and others in America online through videos and etc#like wtf man are YOU BLIND#the world we live in right now is doing the bare minimum and we all should aspire for a better world!!!#insulting all white people in your life isn't the way to the top I know that and that's completely understandable it's hella childish and n#sty#i dunno man this video really pissed me off and I didn't finish it#one of the example videos he also showed was a black man expressing his feelings on what he thinks about non black people using the N word#even in a song#i personally believe no one should use the word at all#but the youtuber was brushing off his feelings and saying it's just a word in a song and I was just#done with it#he was clearly pandering to the people who always scream about how they hate woke culture#so why was i surprised#anyways rant over
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crowleyanthonys · 7 months
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adore-gregor · 2 months
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ugh
#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :(#some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk#just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself#i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/#when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking#obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best#even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth#and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently#and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself#but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that#but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much#i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades#and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general#but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes#like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's#like i could do better i could study harder#unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol#what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅#and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more#and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅#or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass#realistically i don't think it was like that#and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b#which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again#altough i do know good study techniques i think :))#buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank#and it's not difficult things even#like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder#i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement#what it feels like
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sleepy-stitches · 9 hours
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my brain is so evil. why do i have no energy to clean my room. why does it all go to writing weird fucked up yuri. like why am i sitting here enraptured heart and soul by a piece of writing that was meant to be a fragment at best but i am discovering has three entire parts to it. why is that where we are at. i need to clean my fucking room
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SO
my irl best friend asked me to give her any fictional character to draw for practice, and I immediately thought of my queen and goddess, Manon Blackbeak.
And she sent me the work in progress, and I'm??? Amazed???
She's on Twitter: @raidenning
Go give her some love, she loves attention, and also does commisions. 💕
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exopelagic · 1 month
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okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
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seariii · 2 months
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alr ate something... probably not a proper meal, but its still a win on my book
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ferberus-skull · 1 year
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aghjfekn okay so I MAY have made a mistake and gotten myself a lil bit tipsy and ohhh dear lord the urge to go to the auction house right now and make bad decisions............
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aropride · 8 months
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FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE
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mattodore · 1 year
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i hit 3k pins on the oc boards last night without even noticing 🥺
#river dipping#what’s funny is i just deleted like forty pins from theo’s board that didn’t represent him anymore and i STILL have 3k 😭#theo’s board is years old and i cleaned it out a few times before but i finally was like okay no.#some of these pins just don’t make sense for him at all you need to delete them even if you’re attached to them atp.#i need to do the same with some of matthias and dionte's early pins too but i've been putting it off#anyway <333333333333333!!!!!!!!!! i'm going to read for an hour or two and then it's back in cas to start on theo's mom#i finished his dad last night i just didn't post abt it#theo's parents are gonna look much younger than matthias's but they're probably close in age. theo's are maaaybe a little younger...#ALSO...... i realized when i was making theo's dad that like. theo and matthias aren't close in age like matthias and imani.#like there's a 2-4 year age gap there... so like. for the edit i'm just gonna make them both fifteen anyway and say Oh Well!#like just pretend there's no age difference#me being like 'i don't wanna give exact ages at the current spot in the story' is fine until i wanna do something like this kdfjgnk#theo's in his early twenties and matthias is in his mid-twenties#theo's like..... somewhere between 22-24 and matthias is somewhere from 25-26... no more than 27 that's for sure#theo's still in university is the thing... like i've always been like theo's 24-ish but realized like hang on... he should be younger#he's very studious and his course load is STACKED so if anything he should be out of university by 22... which is where i've hit a snag#i was thinking oh maybe he could've taken a gap year but like. his parents wouldn't have allowed that at all.#and then i was like okay... maybe he went to rehab for a year so he's behind...?#but again........ his parents wouldn't have allowed him to disgrace the family name publically like that by admitting he has problems#so like... i'm just sort of covering my mouth and mumbling whenever i talk about ages lmao#i just don't want theo to be really young and i don't wanna budge on matthias's age either#idk idk i'll think of something. maybe it can relate to the breakdown he's meant to have...#...anyway. out of the oc soup and into this book <3
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