#on getting obi-wan to fuck him now

[tennessoui]

this has stayed in my brain for like 2 weeks: au where obi-wan gets fed up with the city council because he keeps writing them asking them to fill this pothole on his street that he hates driving around and they keep not doing it so he decides to run for city council himself on the sole platform of if he’s elected he’s going to fucking fix that fucking pothole.

and he wins because he is very charming and not a lot of people vote anyway, and he fills in his pothole and then next election cycle, he’s planning to let someone else win so he doesn’t have to be on the city council anymore because he actually hates local politics.

only there’s this asshole in university who decides to run obi-wan’s re-election campaign because he’s trying to sleep with a political science TA and he thinks she’ll be impressed if he shows an interest in local politics by doing some grassroots voting door to door work for his community service credits…..and he chooses obi-wan to support at random and very nonconsensually

so anakin skywalker becomes the bane of obi-wan kenobi’s existence. obi-wan kenobi becomes the focus of anakin’s.

(obi-wan also becomes an elected official again, mostly because of the bored housewives vote.)

(obi-wan blames this on the fact that while anakin is a very horny intense nineteen year old, he’s also surprisingly effective with his big wet eyes and his obscenely pink lips. anakin blames this on the televised debates he scheduled between obi-wan and fellow councilor maul, where obi-wan’s eyebrows are drawn and he looks furious and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing his very nicely defined forearms.)

(they fuck about it.)

#kit's silly lil aus #obikin #talked about this on the discord like a while ago but was thinking about it earlier #obi-wan was trying to soft quit and not announce that he was running so no one would vote #for him but then anakin just randomly chose to put all his intense weird energy behind obi-wan #and it works and obi-wan is furious #this twink is ruining his life #now he’s been re elected and people know about him and talk to him on the street #and that’s …. sort of nice fine he likes people he likes his city #he fucking hates politics and now he’s a politician #all because of anakin skywalker !!!! #who turns Padmé down when she makes a move on him because all his weird intense 19yo anakin energy is firmly #on getting obi-wan to fuck him now #(obi-wan realizes that maybe he will be stripped of his political power and title if he’s caught fucking his campaign manager (newly 19) #(obiwan of course grabs onto that opportunity with both hands. solely because he wants to not be on the council anymore.) #(not because he wants to fuck anakin) (definitely not) #the sex they have the night it’s announced obi-wan wins….incandescent so rough so furious anakin can’t stand #obi-wan goes out to say thank you all sweaty with hair out of place and red splotches on his neck #and no one knows they’re from his campaign manager currently in his bed back at his house

[darthmalewife]

Ahsoka daring Obi-Wan and Anakin to wear dresses around the temple and Anakin ends up confused and simultaneously fucking seething because "why is everyone trying to bone my master? what the fuck? Obi-Wan stop flirting back?!"

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #quinlan deliberately makes a big show of flriting with obi wan just to annoy anakin #damn kenobi that ass is wasted in those jedi robes of yours #and ahsoka is holding anaking back from just trying to maul him #itd be funnier if they somehow get called to an attack or something and Dooku is just like bro wtf #dook and his why are you wearing a blue shimmery dress kenobi wtf what did quigon teach you #part of anakins dresse gets singed by a lightsaber so now theres a picture of his ass on the holonet #aayla emails it to him with a message that just says skywalker what the fuck #count dooku #aayla secura #quinlan vos

[maulfucker]

yeah sure you can have the whole paragraph. as a treat

#hm i should make an original writing tag #obimaul #from my 'maul fucks a shapeshifter' thing #I posted just the first line in a reblog of the original post. and now i'm giving you the full thing. because i love my own writing #i love giving him issues #i especially love when he's this fucked up shade of desire for violence that gets so mixed up it turns into wanting to fuck obi wan #and i'm even adding an extra layer of fucked up by having him fuck a proxy who he is at all times aware isn't the real thing <3 #this guy is giving maul something he didn't even know he wanted and maul can't even enjoy it fully #he's holding back because this guy is just doing his job he has nothing to do with maul's thing with kenobi

[flowerflamestars]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Darth Maul, CC-1010 | Fox/Quinlan Vos, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala & Coruscant Guard Clone Troopers, Padmé Amidala & CC-1010 Fox Characters: Padmé Amidala, Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, Darth Maul, Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody, CC-1010 | Fox, Quinlan Vos, Clone Commander Thorn (Star Wars), CC-5869 | Stone, Mace Windu Additional Tags: sith mind control, Jedi Maul (Star Wars), annoyance to lovers, Recovery, Political Campaigns, Padmé Amidala Lives, chosen family, Fox killed the Chancellor, Ashoka Tano becomes a Jedi again, Galactic war consequences, Force-Sensitive CC-1010 | Fox Summary:

"This is why," he drawled, handsome face ruined by overflowing disdain, "We train children."

#babes. I think I might live here now actually #Padme lives and PADME SNAPS #the very serious consequences of a disaster that almost happened #Maul: I AM NOT A TEACHER #also Maul: you are doing it WRONG CEASE SMILING AND- #in this first chapter we are mostly in grief hell sorry #it had to be done! #is Fizz one of Maul's troopers? yes absolutely #Fox? listen it is a PLOY but the baby Guards are already basically his kids #it takes a village #Quinlan: I get to watch my boyfriend hold babies? fuck over the senate? help a friend? WHERE DO I SIGN UP #yes background very tragic Rex feelings #I just think? #there's basically no way Anakin falls apart that doesn't lowkey destroy him for a while! #Obi-Wan can fall back into being a Jedi #Rex??? Rex's entire life was the war and it turns out his PERSON WAS ON THE WRONG SIDE? #devestation! unhelped by a crush! #Padme just like...has this family she never expected and she's going to keep it if it fucking kills her

[accursedvoid]

Honestly, Owen and Beru being willing to immediately throw hands with an inquisitor on sight - legends only.

#the entire extended skywalker family is just full of people ready to go for the throat on sight #kenobi series #owen lars #beru lars #star wars #owk spoilers #kenobi spoilers #this family is just ‘YOU WANNA GO? GET FUCKED’ and I love them for it (this includes the disaster lineage ofc) #truly I love (one) whole extended dramatic family in a galaxy far far away #au where they faked their deaths in ANH and just show up ready to join the rebellion bc their nephew is there #and they’ll be damned they ain’t in the thick of it with him #or they find Luke in the cantina and now Obi wan has to deal with Owen sassing at him dhndndn #my post #spoilers

[jedibongrip]

De aged Alpha Obiwan finally becomes the short king of Anakin's dreams. There's something about being carried around and manhandled that has Anakin in a horny grip 24/7. Anakin really reaps the rewards

see, realistically, de-aged obi-wan isn't that much shorter than actual age obi-wan. at most he's like... 1.5 inches shorter, AT MOST! but he's so much skinnier and he carries himself differently and his voice isn't as steady and sure. so he FEELS so much smaller when he's pressed against anakin's side or when he pulls (pulls, not guide him gently or nudging him with a hand pressed to the small of his back) anakin into an empty hallway or storage room. and that's why he goes nearly feral everytime he realizes that, even though obi-wan feels smaller, his dick and knot haven't shrunk at all

#when obi-wan gets re-aged 1) anakin is so excited he almost rides him right there on the hospital bed surrounded by everyone #and 2) when they get back to their quarters and anakin finally gets to bend over for his alpha #obi-wan gets to see that anakin is STILL gaped from how much de-aged obi-wan fucked him #timeline wise (de-aged) obi-wan like got back from his adventure during padawan and then went hmmm im more confident and sure of myself now #time to become a whore! and its really paying off for anakin #bongrip answers #bongrip ideas #ns4w

[pokimoko]

Thank you @thealterscrolls for tagging me to list my Top 10 favourite characters from different fandoms! (My first tag game...*wipes tear* I’ve done it. I’ve got a good grade in mutual.) So in no particular order, here they are:

Steven Grant (MCU)

Hunter (The Owl House)

Jon Sims (The Magnus Archives)

The Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who)

Ella Lopez (Lucifer)

Peridot (Steven Universe)

Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time)

Percy de Rolo (The Legend of Vox Machina)

Castiel (Supernatural)

Logan (Sanders Sides)

I’ll tag @theophagism, @screechthemighty, @fdelopera, @kennydied911, @usaigi, and @ayratheaverage to join in (only if you want to). If anyone else who follows me wants to join in; just say I sent you. ;)

#tag game #*blushing as i tag people* is this allowed? are we mutual enough for this? #(some of you i'm not even mutuals with but like...we know each other. you're a friend from discord/my notes) #i would've tagged my polycule pizzee and kier but tip already tagged them for this so you're here in spirit #but yeah time to publicly announced my particular brand of Blorbo #'Oh yeah I got tagged can't wait to list all my fav guys!' *suddenly forgets every character i've ever liked* #but anyway here's my top 10 (at the moment) #honourable mentions to: donatello (trotmnt). huey (ducktales). data (star trek). steve (stranger things). #zuko (atla) finn/obi-wan/c3po (star wars). crowley (gomens). chloe price (LIS). catra/double trouble (she-ra). eugene (t:ts). toothless #also honourable mention to bucky barnes. loki. thor. leopold fitz. Lucifer. clara oswald and marceline the vampire queen #because I love them all too but I was trying to stick to one character per fandom #(and I'm realising a lot of my favourite characters are from marvel...hehe oh no) #and yeah i don't *love* spn now but i can't deny cas was my guy for a long while #(*sigh* in that vein i should also mention lance from voltron because before that went to shit i really liked him too) #god i've been through a lot of fandoms through the years #leaving behind a trail of traumatised and neurodivergent favs #(also i should be frank i did get tagged once for a tag game back in like 2018 by ayra and i just...never got round to it...oops) #(so trying to make it up to you now ayra by tagging you in this) #i fucking forgot samwise gamgee and bilbo baggins! also some honourable mentions!

[sukugo]

i had.....r2ani/obikin dream

#so it starts with anakin and r2 and r2 fucking anakin #they do their stuff and then we cut to obi-wan with r2 #so he's tryna get some classified info that r2 has and goes through his data files/recordings/whatever #only to see that the first thing that comes up is a recording of r2 fucking anakin (bc r2 saves everything) #and he's like 'oh fuck' #bc it's like shit that's so hot watching anakin get fucked is making him feel some kinda way (horny) but he isn't supposed to feel like tha #that's one thing but then there's the whole thing about him realizing that anakin is getting fucked by r2???????? what?????? #he doesn't know what to think of it #but he tries to ignore that for now and do what he's supposed to (get the info) only to realize that r2 holds TOO MUCH info #and stuff that he was supposed to get his memory wiped for (literally that one clone wars ep) #so well he has to memory wipe r2 and tries to get anakin to replace r2 with another identical droid (same color design everything) #anakin gets PISSED bc no!!! i want R2 i dont want any other droid im NOT letting u memory wipe him FUCK YOU #so after some fighting obi-wan goes FINE u can keep him #and then they go on a mission (with r2 with them :D) #and other stuff happens!!!! but i dont really remember 😔 #im not sure if it was a dream per se or just a daydream while i was very sleepy but it was suuuuper vivid and cool so #bc i had been thinking about a fic a bit similar to this (obi-wan finding out about r2ani) so now this is kinda making me wanna write hehe #f.txt #this is essentially just that clone wars ep except anakin and r2 are fucking #sw #r2ani #obikin

[imwritesometimes]

literally so fckn tired of ppl's opinions abt kenobi literally do not understand how ppl are watching this and not just having fun literally don't understand the ppl like 'omg why is he weak he's obi wan kenobi' don't even fckn get me started on 'I'm not a flaming racist or misogynist I just don't like the black woman playing Reva' like literally fuck off die perish go away begone I'm tired and enraged

#cannot read a *single* fucking review where it's not just constant bitching like who shit in ur cheerios bud? #vader isn't scary their fight was lackluster like WHAT THE FUCK MAN? #if they had showed obi wan sad and demoralized and living in a cave and then suddenly #OH OH! He's a talented force wielding badass again! #ppl would have complained #they show him wallowing in his grief which is fuckin REALISTIC and closing himself off from the force #he's rusty and demoralized and depressed #and that's BoRiNg! #like.... I'm sorry if you thought battling his closest friend and then thinking he died sorta by his hand on mustafar #wasn't gonna have like any... implications on OBI WAN KENOBI!?!?!?! #I should legally be allowed to hit you with my car. get ready to have a toyota emblem scar bud! #this is once again a lesson in 'don't read reviews for shit you're enjoying' #ok I'm done now I'm ok I'm fckn done I'm choosing to be done I'm letting it go #erin explains it all

[lord-vaders]

I keep seeing stuff about how anakin saying he’s not obi wan’s failure is the anakin side speaking, it’s him trying to let obi wan go, it’s the good in him shining through letting obi wan know it wasn’t his fault — guys that creepy fucking smile as he said it literally means stop pitying me, stop damn apologizing to me, stop treating me like a failure and a loss, I made my choice and this is it and it’s all me. Like, he’s literally intentionally scaring obi wan off right now guys. He’s saying anakin is gone and I did it of sane mind and body. I do not think at this point that there is a single out of good in that man or a single sliver of anakin shining through. He wants to hurt obi wan by saying I fucking killed the man you love and miss and I am what’s left in his place.

#he’s evil and he’s nuts and he’s so deep in his bad choices and his rage that he’s not getting out #we should all have seen from this season that he is evil and doesn’t care what he does to hurt others #yes he had a moment after burning obi wan #but I think he was disappointed in how easily he fucked up obi wan and decided to give him a little more time for a better stand off #vader has no anakin in him right now people #star wars #darth vader #kenobi spoilers #i unleash my lame but passionate meta

[spock-smokes-weed]

So this is the “torture obi-wan and prey on his fears” episode huh

#star wars the clone wars #s4 ep13: escape from kadavo #in the first episode he got the shit beat out of him #then he was whipped for lord knows how long #and now he’s in a work prison where the dude running it is literally out to get him and make him suffer specifically #what the fuck #obi-wan girlies we stay losing

[tennessoui]

For The propmts, "I can't trust you"

hi hello!!!

this is set in my "there was only one desk" au, where obi-wan and anakin, well. share a desk in the office and hate each other.

"""""hate each other"""""

(1.5k) (angst here and now but actually the stupidest thing ever)

The person sitting at Obi-Wan’s desk is not, in fact, Obi-Wan Kenobi. For one thing, it’s a woman with a severe red bobcut and better fashion sense than Kenobi’s ever had. For another thing, Anakin can’t actually remember a time when he’s made the trek up to the twelfth floor just to annoy Kenobi only for the man to not give him attention. So this woman, who doesn’t even raise her eyes to look at him when he’s standing next to her desk, can’t be Kenobi.

“Uh,” Anakin says. He’s holding a singular cupcake on a plate in both hands, red velvet because Obi-Wan hates red velvet and with a candle in the icing because Obi-Wan is extremely paranoid about the sensitivity of the sprinkler system. “Who are you?”

The woman’s fingers pause on the keyboard and she looks up at him sharply. With a raised eyebrow, she tilts her head to the nameplate on Obi-Wan’s desk.

Bo-Katan Kryze it reads.

Anakin blinks. “Do you—share this desk with Obi-Wan?”

“I don’t know who that is. I sit here every day,” Kryze says. “Is there something I can help you with?” She makes it clear that she believes there is absolutely nothing she wants to help him with.

“Um.” Anakin stares at her uninterested face, the nameplate, the desk itself.

He realizes rather suddenly that the plants are gone. All of Obi-Wan’s plants are gone, and in their places are picture frames filled with pictures of strangers, a standing calendar, and a souvenir mug.

“No,” he says slowly. “Sorry.”

“No worries,” the woman says, turning back to her computer. “Have a nice day.”

Anakin turns around and goes back to the elevators around the corner. He feels a bit stupid, holding a plate wth a cupcake on it, so he tosses it into a small trashcan next to a desk as he passes by, plate and all.

He still feels a bit stupid, and the feeling lingers all the way from the twelfth floor to the tenth, where his desk is. If Obi-Wan was playing a prank on him, he just fell for it like an idiot. 

But if he hadn’t—

“Obi-Wan wasn’t at his desk,” Anakin says to Vos as he sits down in front of his own computer. “There was this woman there instead, and she’d moved all of his stuff. Even the nametag.”

Vos doesn’t look up from his screen. He’s been sort of distant since Anakin came back, like he forgot how to talk or some shit during the month and a half he was away.

His silence would make sense if Obi-Wan asked him to help with the prank. And Vos probably would hop on the opportunity to fuck with Anakin. He tries to say he doesn’t play favorites of course, but he very clearly does. 

And his favorite very clearly is Kenobi, not Anakin. 

Anakin remembers the chair incident, after all.

So if Obi-Wan told him about trying to pull a fast one on Anakin his first day back at the office, hire a woman to sit at his desk and change all of its decorations just to confuse him, Vos would probably help out by pretending everything is normal.

Anakin narrows his eyes and looks at his desk. Nothing’s been moved or changed since he last saw it. No new cameras to video his reaction.

“Where’s Obi-Wan?” he asks, looking over at Vos. “I mean, it’s a lot of work, isn’t it? Points for creativity, I guess though.”

Vos’ fingers still on his keys and he finally looks up, going as far as to take his hands off the keyboard completely. “What?”

“Like where did he put his plants? And the zen garden with all the sand, you know? He moved that zen garden somewhere else just to fuck with me for a bit? And the name too, her name— Bo-Katan? Kryze? He could have tried a little harder to make up something believable.”

Vos looks at him, eyebrows furrowing. “Sorry,” he says slowly. “But–sorry, but what do you think is happening here, exactly?”

Anakin frowns. Usually Vos would be laughing by now. “Joke’s on him though, I brought him a cupcake to celebrate my first day back, and me and Bo-Katan split it instead. No cupcake for Obi-Wan. It’s what he deserves for such a lame prank.”

“Skywalker,” Vos’ voice sounds even slower. “Skywalker, there is no prank.”

There’s a very weird feeling in his gut. He forces a laugh. “Uh, right, of course not,” he says. “But seriously, where is Obi-Wan? I’ve been taking pictures I want to show him for months. He’s going to love them.”

He better love them, at least, if he knows what’s good for him. But Luke and Leia are adorable, especially now that they’ve stopped teething on everything in range. Even someone as heartless and deplorable as Kenobi will be swayed by their big eyes and general all-encompassing cuteness.

The look Vos gives him is uncharacteristically cold. “Two things, Skywalker. First, there’s no prank. Obi-Wan quit. Sounds like you brought cupcakes to his replacement, like some. One man office welcome brigade. Second, if you really think Obi-Wan Kenobi wants to see your fucking baby pictures, you’re more stupid than I thought.”

Anakin blinks and then stares as the feeling in his stomach spreads to his chest. “What? No. No way.” He blinks again, eyebrows furrowing. “Is this the prank?”

Vos pushes his chair away from his keyboard, rolling it to the edge of his desk. “Skywalker. Anakin. There is no prank. I’m telling you the truth. Obi-Wan has separated from the company. He is not here today, and he won’t be here tomorrow. He left.”

“But—” Anakin’s mouth is open, but no words are coming out. “But. He didn’t tell me.” 

There’s a knot in his stomach, one that may be bigger than his stomach altogether. No, it has to be some sort of—of prank. Of practical joke at his expense. When Obi-Wan pops out in an hour or so, Anakin is going to hit him so hard in, like. The shoulder. For the crime of being really, really not funny.

“Why would he tell you, Skywalker?” Vos asks, carefully putting his hands on his knees as he looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “You don’t like each other.”

“I—I mean. We do!” Anakin splutters. “We spent quarantine together! And last summer when we did the office expedition and got lost, we camped together! For two whole days!”

“Those aren’t bonding activities,” Quinlan says. “You know that, right? No one else would consider those things as foundations for a friendship or even workplace relationship.”

Like he always seems to do when Kenobi and “workplace relatitonships” are brought up in the same sentence, Anakin flushes. He can feel the tips of his go red.

“Look, I get that you’re—friends or whatever,” he mutters, pitching his voice down low so that no one else can eavesdrop. Not that anyone else is really paying attention, but just in case. “But we’ve—you know, you saw us. During the. The quarantine. We. Spent the night together.”

“Yeah, you fucked,” Vos rolls his eyes. “You fucked.” “So if he were going to leave the company, he’d tell me, alright?” Anakin puts his hand down flat on the desk. “Yeah? He’d tell me.”

“Only if sleeping with you meant something to him,” Vos points out, pushing his chair back fully behind his desk. “So I guess it didn’t.”

The words—sting.

A lot.

The words fucking hurt like Vos has just thrown a fucking cactus into his dick. Because—alright, they’d never talked about it afterwards or anything, but—kissing Kenobi, his annoying and annoyingly attractive deskmate, sleeping with him, touching him and being touched in return…it’d changed things for Anakin. Things he didn’t want to name then, and things he definitely doesn’t want to name now, if—if Obi-Wan really…really just.

Left.

Anakin shakes his head, wordless. “It meant something,” he says, practicing the words, even if it’s only Vos around to hear him.

“Yeah?” and Vos’ voice is cold. “Then why’d you just take almost two months of paternity leave, huh? If sleeping with my friend meant something.”

Anakin shakes his head again, staring fixedly at his keyboard. “Did he really—Vos, you’re not lying, are you? Did he actually quit?”

Vos is silent for several long moments. “Yeah,” he says, sounding strange. “Yeah, he did. This is—you’re upset about this, aren’t you?”

It could still be a joke though, because sometimes Vos goes too far and sometimes he doesn’t know when to quit, even though Anakin thinks he’s pretty obviously begging him to stop right about now.

He stands. “I—I don’t believe you. I can’t— I can’t trust you.”

Vos watches him swing his jacket on with raised eyebrows. “I suppose you don’t need his address then,” he says, expression guarded. “If you’re going to fact-check this yourself.”

Of course Anakin is going to fact-check this for his fucking self.

And either way, Obi-Wan Kenobi is going to have a lot of explaining to do.

#asks #prompt fill #obikin #there was only one desk au #anyway so part two would be the confrontation #and obi-wan did quit and he didn't tell anakin #because he was all hurt that he emailed anakin one day and got an out of office automatic response #that was like 'on paternity leave be back in a couple of months' #and like hes so hurt because damn he a) thought he and anakin were getting really close to dating #but he's expecting kids? what is the sitch with the mom?? they must be together #and anyway b) they must not actually be friends if obi-wan is finding this out NOW #like THIS #and anyway the truth is anakin impulse adopted 2 stray puppies outside his apartment complex #took a wild amount of time off to get them used to his place and him as their dad #was rushing in his out of office email and went to make a pun (pet-ernity leave) but didnt notice the autocorrect #so all of the office and obi-wan thinks he has babies now #just want that one scene where anakin is like no!!! luke and leia are my dogs!!! i took peternity leave!! #and obi-wan pinches the bridge of his nose and deep breathes for ten seconds before going #what (another deep breath) #the FUCK is PET-ERNITY LEAVE #yeah ok kit understands thta this could hava been a text post

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

#everyone feel free to use these i crave more time travel fics #the sheer power qui gon would have as a fully communicating force ghost before and during the clone wars is astounding #qui gon with baby obi wan is like inconsolable sobs cause he never saw him this small and then his life was so sad and he couldnt even hug #him on tatooine but now look at his boy!!! so small and huggable!!!! #they absolutely weaponise baby obi against others his wet cat eyes are 1000% stronger now #they drop him in dookus lap like look grandpadawan:) #if you hold the grandpadawan maybe your sith behaviour will calm down :/ #anyway them together is like they throw enough bullshit into the air to blind everyone while they speedrun important changes in the back #after naboo is like everyone offering obi wan condolences and obi responding yeah im going to need them the fucker wont stay down #star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #fic ideas #time travel shenanigans #codywan #anakin skywalker #disaster lineage #count dooku

[maulfucker]

actually the more I think about it the more it makes sense to write him being in rut

#hm i should make an original post tag #hm i should make an original writing tag #mdni #like. he's hanging himself upside down to distract himself from his body screaming at him to fuck something #(and because pain is kinda (very) arousing to him. so either it works or he gets off on the pain) #and force choking and scaring away anyone who tries to interrogate him or get near him because he does Not want to be perceived right now #and obi-wan is the exception because. yknow. :) #(well he did try to scare away obi-wan. but it only made him more curious.) #and it's fun. he gets to pretend it's just a biological imperative and obi-wan gets to pretend this is just like offering first aid #and they can move on from fucking each other without catching feelings (lie)

[bbygirl-obi]

considering shaak ti was like 6'2" i love the idea that female togrutas are taller on average than female humans. this is in part motivated by the fact that i love leaning into the carnivore/predator vibes of togruta bc i think we all deserve a lil more adventurous alien biology. but it is also in part bc i love the trope of younger characters being taller than older characters.

please see the vision: when ahsoka first passes 6'0" in height and is taller than obi-wan, anakin loses his SHIT and won't shut up about it. he's so fucking giddy about it bro. teasing obi-wan is like, his favorite thing to do aside from hang out with padme. the height jokes now that obi-wan is officially the shortest out of the trio are marvelous and anakin loves every moment of it.

but then... then ahsoka keeps growing. and soon she's 6'1" and anakin is getting a bit nervous, though he vehemently denies it when asked. and then she's 6'2" aka anakin's exact height and still growing and suddenly anakin doesn't find the height jokes funny any more.

...and then, one day, she inches past anakin. and suddenly anakin finds himself the butt of all of the jokes he made about obi-wan, but it's a million times worse because he's used to being the tallest. please please PLEASE imagine all of the different expressions (and colors) that would cross anakin's face the first time ahsoka rests an elbow on his head or, gods forbid, calls him "shorty."

tldr: i think ahsoka deserves to be tall and buff enough to carry her masters like this, as a treat:

#you know once anakin gets over the indignity he would LOVE her being able to carry them like this #i just think togrutas should embrace being apex predators idk #togruta #togruta biology #star wars #sw #ahsoka tano #ahsoka #anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin and ahsoka #ahsoka and obi wan #ahsoka and obi-wan #obi-wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi #obi wan #obi-wan #the clone wars #tcw #meta #star wars meta #sw meta #tcw meta #the clone wars meta

[charmwasjess]

Lightsaber Theory: Obi-Wan "Sith Lords are Our Specialty" Kenobi consistently loses duels to Dooku not for any reason of technical form mismatch or lack of ability, but because Dooku is not even pretending to try to kill him. Resultantly, Obi-Wan can’t figure out what the fuck is going on when they fight. 

Obi-Wan: (preparing to defend an expected lethal strike) You’ll answer for your enormities, Count!

Dooku: (giving him the lightest love tap on the leg) Don’t be so sure, my special good lineage baby boy, so perfect in my eyes. 

Obi-Wan: …What?

Dooku: What?

Which Dooku and Obi-Wan proud lineage moment is even the most unhinged? There are so many to choose from! Is it Dooku’s frequent inability, both in AotC and TCW, to keep from spontaneously gushing about Sidious’s plans and even his own dark secrets to Obi-Wan?? Is it the time in Labyrinth of Evil where Dooku drags a long-suffering, bored Grievous over to watch a holorecording of Anakin and Obi-Wan thwarting his plans yet again, to point out how beautifully they’re working together as a team and how much he likes watching their lightsaber work evolve? Is it in the recent Brotherhood novel, where Obi-Wan just has to casually namedrop Qui-Gon to get Dooku to do exactly what he wants?

Obi-Wan is a big problem for Sidious in his mission to destabilize and corrupt Anakin, and Sidious knows it. He needs him out of the picture to do the same isolating, evil bullshit that worked so well when ensnaring Dooku himself. But the war has been going on for years now, and guess who remains inconveniently alive? And whose job was that to take care of? Oh yeah. I remember. His useless, Padawan assassin-collecting apprentice: fucking Count Dooku. By the time of RotS, Sidious has specifically ordered Dooku to make fucking sure Obi-Wan is dead only for him to completely ignore the command about a half-dozen times.

Going by the Stover RotS novelization, in the same scene where Dooku also literally refers to Obi-Wan as his fucking grandson actually, add that to our earlier list, Sidious reiterates that KILL OBI-WAN is the plan (over the sound of Dooku’s loud complaining) moments before that final duel.  I kind of wish we’d gotten a shot of Sidious's incredulous, enraged expression as Dooku knocks Obi-Wan unconscious and pins him safely out of the way. He is, once again, going out of his way to not kill Obi-Wan in that duel, and this time directly disobeying his Master to his face after they just had a conversation about it. You just know exactly what Sidious must be thinking at that moment. Oh, Dooku. You are so fucking fired.

#count dooku #obi wan kenobi #darth sidious #disaster lineage #lightsaber nerd stuff #the clone wars #revenge of the sith #star wars books #Sidious is so done #you know he had to wake up every morning of Dooku's apprenticeship and just repeat a calming mantra about not killing him yet #oh no the notoriously defiant rule breaker Jedi I corrupted is acting like a notoriously defiant rule breaker #but really #I love that Dooku was secretly (not so secretly) proud of Obi-Wan