#one of those ‘haha gotcha’ things

[goldenhourwriter]

•✮🕷️𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐤𝐢𝐝🕷️✮•

part one (you are here) • part two •

⋆pairing: miguel o’hara x wife!reader

⋆warning(s): i guess just fighting and some cursing. and threatening to bite someone lol. also i got translations from spanish dict, if i did something wrong, please correct me. i tried to use the right definitions/context to use those definitions in! also pregnancy.

⋆a/n: this was so fun to write! requests are open, and i am new to this blog, so hang on while i get this all figured out. requests are open, and this will be a mini series i am continuing!!

It’s not usually this quiet at the Spider Society.

It’s nice.

I walk around, humming softly to myself as I munch on a banana, a craving I usually get. I let my hand rest on my slightly swollen belly, my suit especially made to let it stretch and give the baby some room.

Yeah, ever heard of a pregnant Spider-Woman?

It happened a couple of months ago, as married couples tend to let happen. It’s twins, actually. One boy and one girl, but, my husband doesn’t know yet. Doesn’t want to know. I called the doctor anyways, and even though he threw a hissy fit that could rival a toddler, he relented and said it was fine.

And, it was kind of nice being alone. A lot of the spider-people tend to do things for me, think I’m incapable of doing things now because I’m pregnant. Even the ridiculous Spider-Man T-Rex gave me a ride through the halls. I snort at the thought, gaining some weird looks.

Obviously, I didn’t refuse. Who would pass up a ride on a freaking dinosaur?

My few 30 minutes of bliss, however, was interrupted by the beeping on my watch. I tap on it and smile when I see Lyla. She gives a wave.

“Hey, big wifey,” she teases, pushing up her pink, heart-shaped glasses. I roll my eyes. Everyone knows I hate that name. It doesn’t make me feel fat, it just makes me very aware of the two babies living inside of me, and how very uncomfortable life can really get.

“Hey, algorithm girl, what’s up?” I shoot back with sarcasm. I am met with satisfaction as she gives me a dead-pan look.

“Haha, very funny, love that,” she says sarcastically. “Your husband is struggling with an anomaly. Earth-65, some kind of Renaissance bird-man.”

I giggle at the thought. I can imagine his annoyance. “Gotcha, and did he actually call for back up?” I ask, but i already know the answer. I take another bite of my banana, shifting my weight onto my right leg. I can never stand still for too long, luckily, being a super hero can keep me moving. Keeps the babies satisfied.

She snorts at me, like i was making some hilarious, un-heard of joke. I relent, sighing and preparing my bracelet to go to the universe she said he was in.

“Alright, alright. How long do you think until he actually asks?”

“I’d give you about two minutes. He’s getting really thrown around with this one. And there’s another spider person, trying to ask him too many questions.”

My eyes perk back up to the hologram when she mentions this. “I haven’t heard of a recruit from Earth-65, is she new?” I ponder out loud. I cock my head to the side, adjusting my mask. Well, half mask. It really only covers my eyes. Lyla nods. “Yup, she’s a new one. She’s a nice kid, too.”

I smile.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

Lyla logs off and I sigh, patting my baby bump. “Alright, you guys,” I whisper to my belly. I stick out my hand and the portal opens, and I jump in. I shout with joy, flying through the portal, and as I practically fall to the other end, my hair whips around.

I fall on the other end, and I groan as my hair blocks my vision. I hear grunting, crushing, wings flapping, and snappy remarks being thrown about, but I can’t see anything. I flip my hair over my head, shaking it out.

“I need a hair tie on these things,” I mumble to myself.

I look over, and I see a feminine-looking spider-hero staring at me. I give her a small wave. Her eyes are wide, I can tell. I examine her suit, which seems like it holds up pretty well. It has hood, which is new to me, and she’s wearing…are those ballet flats? I smile

“Hey, babes! You look cute!” I compliment to the get up.

She waves back again, and she looks down at my stomach. “Are you….?” She trails off. I look down, and put a hand on my hip. “Yep, I am. It’s twins, but don’t tell my husband the sexes yet. He wants to wait.” She nods, but seems to remember that she doesn’t know just who my husband is. She takes a step towards me.

“Who are you married to? Are there even more people like us?” I nod.

“My husband’s right….” I don’t even flinch as he gets thrown into the wall right in front of me, and I smile. “There.”

He groans as he slips to get up, his mask eyes squinting at me. I squint my eyes right back.

“Don’t give me that look. I’m carrying your children,” I scold. He gestured to the giant creature that hurls towards us. “I need help here!” He shouts at me. Lyla puts up on my shoulder, and we both cross our arms. He sighs, looking down.

“Please, Y/N? Sabes que no me gusta mendigar,(You know I don’t enjoy begging),“ He pleads quietly.

Vulture screeches at us. “Love truly makes me sick,” he narrates out loud, and he reaches his talons out for me. I stuck out my wrists and web up one wing, so he goes sideways, just barely missing me. He breaks free, but I web up behind him again.

“Your attitude makes me sick!” I shout at him. “You seem like the Beethoven of your area, jerky, cold, and not the greatest people-person!” I struggle to speak as I try to web him up again, but it doesn’t work. He barrels towards me, and grabs me in his talons. I hear Miguel growl and leap off the ground, landing on his back. He tugs on the man’s feathers, making him spin around to try and find him. I take the opportunity to web myself away from his grasp, kicking him away as I do so.

“Is this guy made of paper?” I ask, rubbing my hands together as I take a moment to actually register what just happened. Miguel grunts, and yells as he speaks to me from the bottom of the building. “Honey, I love your voice, but I really need you to use your actions right now!”

I spot a few witnesses trapped behind some rubble, so I shoot off the side of the wall to swoop them up. They scream, clutching onto me, and I drop them off right by a big police officer. He gawks at me, and I give him salute as Miguel webs me up again. I twist up, getting wrapped in his webbing, and I break free using a kick, hitting Vulture square in the jaw with my foot. He grunts in pain, squeezing his eyes shut, and Miguel uses this moment to try and guide him down, so he won’t escape.

I land right next to, what’s her name? I’ll learn it soon enough. I land right next to the teen as she stares at me. I smirk at her.

“What, never seen two married spiders?”

She swallows. “Can you adopt me?”

“What?”

“What? Nothing! Nothing!”

Miguel groans, and I can tell he’s growing tired. “¡Por Dios! ¿Puedes dejar de hablar por un momento? (Oh, my God. Can you stop talking for a moment?)” He calls out to me. I let out a heavy sigh, putting my hands on my knees. “I’m sorry, but your babies are making it hard to move right now!” I shout at him. Gwen webs away from me, and Miguel lands right next to me again. “Last time I checked, it took two people to make those two babies,” he grumbles. We take a moment and watch as Gwen tries to take down Vulture by herself.

I look at Miguel, and raise my eyebrows. “Did she call ya ‘Dark Garfield?’” I ask. He groans, and I can tell hair eyes shut as his head falls forward. “Yes.”

I giggle. “I like her. Maybe we can recruit-“ “No. No, we can’t, and you know why.” My somewhat playful attitude disappears with a frown, and I nod in compliance. He grabs my waist and he swings us up, and then we fall onto the Vulture back again. I scream through gritted teeth as I try to hold him down on the ground, but he flings me off, a sudden, new found strength in him.

“What the hell?” I curse. “Not cool, man!”

“This ends now,” he says to me, and he springs upward. I curse under my breath again, but it seems Miguel is on top of it. Literally.

“If he gets out, this whole universe will collapse!” He shouts, mainly at Gwen. I know the risks involved, having to save almost every universe from them every day. I shoot my wrist out, but I groan. I hit my web shooters, but nothing comes out. “Fuck-Miguel! I’m out!” I try to jump from floor to floor, but I quickly get nauseous while doing that. I look down at my stomach again, poking it. “So web slinging is fine but jumping is what doesn’t please you guys?” I ask the unborn babies. I get a mere kick in return. “I know that was the girl. That was way too sassy,” I grumble to myself.

Spider-Girl lands right beside me, and she looks at my husband and he battles Vulture. They both crash right through the glass ceiling, and we shield ourselves from the shards that could possibly cut us. She looks at me.

“What is he gonna do?” She asks. Miguel takes the Vulture’s face in his hands, and opens his mouth, wide, baring his fangs and giving a loud roar. “Oh snap,” whispers under his breath. But, he’s cut short, when a helicopter shines a light on him. He yells at the helicopter, his mask coming up again to cover his face.

“I’m a good guy! I’m here to help!” He desperately explains. My spider senses then go off, and I scream up to Miguel.

“Miguel! Watch-!“

I’m too late. Vulture throws two weapons at the helicopter, and then the helicopter starts to spin, going down, and fast.

“Shit.” All three of us say in unison.

I look to the kid, and she’s already looking at me. I nod towards her, and she returns the gesture, and we both know what that means. She launches off the floor, and she begins to web a net. I take a deep breath. “Alright, babies, don’t make me throw up,” I say sternly to my unborn babies.

I leap off the ground, and I fly through the middle of the helicopter, grabbing the two pilots and landing on the fourth floor of the building. I grunt as I roll on the ground with them, and we writhe in pain.

I turn to the both of them, checking on them, and I run to the edge, well, the mess that made the edge. I look down, and the teenage girl is flying through the air, webbing up a net. And just as the helicopter is about to crash, she flies right underneath it, just barely getting nipped by the chopper.

She lands, breathing heavily.

“Wow,” I whisper. Miguel hops a bit in front of me, landing on some rubble.

“I was gonna do that,” he says quietly to himself. I can tell he’s thinking her, thinking about her hard. Miguel and I share a glance at her, and she nods. She turns and hops down from the huge rock, and goes back towards the wall, out of sight. I turn and see the two pilots staring at me. I smile.

“Yeah, I know, there’s lots of freaky spider people, that was my reaction too. Cmon, let’s get you two a medic.” I reach down and offer my hand to them, which they take, one at a time. I help them to the big opening in the building where the door used to be, and I hand them over to some officers.

I sigh, turning around to find my husband surveying the area.

I walk up to him, putting a hand on his back, feeling his tense and rigid muscles, alert and still in attack mode. He seems to relax a little at my touch, and he lets his mask down. I grin, amusement

“Your hair is all messed up.” “Can you and I have one good moment after a battle where you don’t make fun of my hair?” “Absolutely not.”

He lets out a low growl, rolling his eyes. I walk a little in front of him, and stare at the place where the teen escaped to, hearing some grunting from there. No doubt she’s recovering on her own. My hand comes to rest on my stomach, my thumb running over the bump. I turn back to Miguel, my mouth open to speak, but he beats me to it.

“I said no,” he rejects me as he leans down to pick up some broken machinery. He scoffs at some poor excuse for art. “I’m starting to think Vulture did everyone a favor by destroying this place, this art sucks-“

“Miguel O'Hara, no cambies de tema,” I say sternly. He lets out a sigh. Spanish isn’t even my main language, so when I speak it, he knows I’m not messing around. He spins around, holding a figurine of a balloon dog in his hand. I would find it comedic, a big guy like him holding a small thing like that, but not when he’s trying to avoid my questions.

“You know we can use her. I’ve never seen anything like her, and she even beat you to one of your moves. You have to agree with me on this!” I gesture out in front of me, as if the conversation is laid out in front of us. Miguel sighs, walking up to me with his hands on his hips. His expression is hard, but his eyes give it away. He’s considering it, it helps if I’ve spent about a couple years with him now.

He brings his hand to my waist and another to my hair, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Te amo demasiado a veces,” he mumbles into my hair.

Okay, that gives me absolutely nothing.

His hand travel down to my stomach, and his two very large hands splay over my tummy. His lips quirk up a bit as one of them kicks against my skin. “Did you do okay today?” He asks quietly, referring to my very pregnant self. I nod, but it doesn’t seem to reassure him.

Vulture struggles next to us, but we just give him an annoyed look. “I’m done with your attitude!” Miguel tells him, pointing at him. He sighs, turning back to me, grabbing my waist and pulling me impossibly closer, so we’re basically sharing the same breathe. My stomach flutters. Even after marrying him, he really can have the same affect on me from when I was a new recruit.

“You know you can always opt out whenever, I can call for other backup,” he says quietly. He’s trying to spare my feelings, not letting others hear so I won’t get embarrassed. I’m never embarrassed, it’s life, I got pregnant, but I appreciate the sentiment. I lean up and kiss his nose.

“I know, thank you, but really, I’m fine.” I stick a hand up as he begins to protest. “At 7 months, I will take maternity leave. I’ll rest and just be the desk person, okay?” I ask. He debates it for a moment, and lets out a grunt and nods. We stay in our somewhat embrace for a bit, when we hear a gun shot. My head whips to where Spider-Woman went and hid, and I look at Miguel.

His mask forms again, and he kicks Vulture, telling him to be still as he picks him up. Miguel picks me up with his other arm and swings to the opening as we fall in.

“Dad, please!” She begs the cop standing across from her. Miguel shoots a containment pod at him, and she runs towards him. I grab her by the shoulders, trying to use my softest voice.

“Hey, hey, kid. Hey, it’s okay, we’re here, we got you,” I say quietly to her. She’s crying as she clutches onto my arm, staring at her dad. Miguel opens a portal, and I give the kid one more pat and walk over to him.

“What are we gonna do?” I whisper to him. He looks at me. “What do you mean?”

I roll my eyes.

“We can’t just leave her here!” I get a bit louder, but he shushes me, putting a finger up. My jaw drops.

“You did not just shush me,” I growl.

“Oh, I think I did.”

“Oh, I know you didn’t-!”

Miguel and I bicker back and forth, and at some point, Vulture voluntarily hops into the portal, all tied up, not wishing to stick around. I stick my finger up as I try to argue with him, my hand coming to my hip, and he towers over me, but that never took away my edge.

Then, some sniffling gets us to shut up.

The kid looks at us, her eyes watery and wide. She looks like what she is…a teenager who’s lost and alone. She opens her mouth to speak. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

I look slowly at Miguel, and he lets his head hang forward.

“Yeah, well….”

I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Join the club.”

🕷️ 💍

#miguel x reader #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara smut #spiderman 2099 #spider man #spider man into the spider verse #across the spider verse spoilers #miles morales #gwen stacy

[iam93percentstardust]

one of the things that really bothers me about modern franchises, and in particular over the last 5 years or so, is their refusal to commit. what i mean here when i say this is that it's not uncommon for a major franchise to make a decision, whether about the plot or the characters, that should have had huge, world-changing consequences... and then just never address that again or worse, immediately go back and undo it. and i'm gonna pick on star wars and the mcu here because those are the two big franchises i'm into at the moment (and i think they're kind of the worst at this), but i don't want you to walk away from this thinking that this is solely a disney thing. i've seen this happen with game of thrones and supernatural and plenty of other non-disney franchises. spoilers ahead, you've been warned:

in ant-man & the wasp quantumania, scott and hope make the life-altering decision to stay behind in the quantum realm and defeat kang instead of going through the portal to return to their world. this should have been a huge meta decision for the mcu, and when i first saw it in theaters, my immediate thought was wow, what is this going to mean for the mcu going forward? are we going to get a movie/miniseries about scott and hope helping to rebuild the quantum realm? how are cassie, janet, and hank going to react to the losses of their loved ones (in some cases, for the second time)? is cassie going to become the "first" young avenger because she has to take her father's place among the team lineup (and i only say first because as of this moment, none of the other young avengers introduced to the franchise are official avengers yet)? except nope, because less than 2 minutes later, cassie had fixed the portal that had broken way back at the beginning of the movie and brought scott and hope back.

and it felt like such a cheat. i was so disappointed in that theater, not as someone who was invested in these characters on a personal level (because yay, cassie gets her dad back!), but as someone who has spent years investing themselves in the story of the mcu. what was the point of wasting screentime on scott and hope accepting their new lives in the quantum realm if it was just going to immediately be undone? the entire scene could have been cut to scott and hope making it back bare seconds before the portal closed and it would have had the same emotional impact. there was nothing added by making scott and hope (and us) think that there was no way back only to rip the rug out from under us and go "gotcha! you really thought we were gonna give this movie a sad ending? haha! you're so dumb!"

and this isn't the first time the mcu has done this. one of the biggest complaints about endgame was the decision to set it five years in the future with no consideration for how that would actually change the setting of the mcu. characters were brought back to the exact place they disappeared from with no consideration for how things might have changed in the interim five years (like planes that weren't in the air anymore, buildings no longer standing, even just something as simple as a chair being unoccupied). and then the mcu didn't even really have the courage to address how this would have shaped the world other than a few jokes and making the bad guys in the falcon and the winter soldier people who cared about how the world had screwed them over during the blip.

and things like this happen over and over and over again. the accords are put into place in civil war, but by the time we get to she-hulk, they're gone with no explanation because, as best as i can tell, the writers didn't want to have to deal with the worldbuilding that went into the accords. gamora is killed in infinity war, but heaven forbid quill not have an emotional investment in a film he appears for maybe 10 minutes in so now she's back in endgame. steve got to go live in the past with his ex-girlfriend (which is in itself a refusal to commit after the mcu both gave her a different husband and had the woman herself tell him to move on) but we need to establish that messing with timelines is bad because that's what the entire next phase hinges on so actually his ending was predestined and it's only everyone else who can't change time. whoever took this entire town and also wanda hostage and forced them to live out a sitcom fantasy is bad and needs to be stopped but wait, it's actually wanda and she can't be the bad guy yet, we need her for doctor strange 2, so actually everyone's going to defend her now and say that no one else could ever possibly understand her grief. thor has decided to accept responsibility as king of asgard, but we can't use him for any more movies if he's stuck in asgard, so actually he's decided to pass it on to someone whose entire leadership capability is developed offscreen. i could list more examples but this is making me angry, so let's move on to star wars instead.

with star wars, i look at first the oft-quoted meme, "somehow palpatine has returned." yeah, i shouldn't really need to go into detail on how that counts as a refusal to commit but. the last jedi was a study in how johnson refused to commit to anything that abrams had laid down in the force awakens, but rise of skywalker was almost like abrams had looked at the franchise and said "screw you for taking it away from me, i'm going to come up with the most bullshit stuff just to spite you for doing that in the first place. and i'm going to start by undoing the most important plot point of the first trilogy: the emperor dies." and yeah, disney's kind of tried to salvage this by dropping hints into the bad batch and the mandalorian about cloning, but that only really works if you're watching the franchise chronologically and not considering that both of those series came out after rise of skywalker.

and then there's the mandalorian, my sweet summer child, who is, in my opinion, the worst at backtracking their plot points. i'm not entirely convinced that any of the higher ups for this show really knew what they were doing when they started working on it and i'm not convinced that they know what they're doing now. yeah, there's the tie-in to the last season of clone wars, but the mandalorian has managed to walk back pretty much every single major plot point it's had. din is this legendary warrior who can't be beat, but no one will watch this show if he defeats everyone too early, so he's constantly getting beat up (tbf, sometimes some of the fights he loses makes sense like the krayt dragon and the mudhorn, but a lot of them don't. at all). moff gideon is dead, no wait no he's not, now he's imprisoned, no wait no he's not, now he's definitely dead, you can totally believe us this time guys. grogu can use the force and must be placed with the jedi, but wait, the only person still actively teaching the way of the jedi is luke and all of his students will be brutally murdered ten years from now, and we can't have that, everyone will be mad at us for killing off such a cute character and no one will buy baby yoda dolls (and also we have to set up luke's character degradation from hopeful, believes-in-love cinnamon roll to "i'm going to kill my nephew") so in between seasons let's have grogu decide to go back to din (and don't even get me started on how frustrating it is that a casual mandalorian watcher also had to watch book of boba fett to understand why grogu is back). din has the darksaber now which makes him king of mandalore, that's totally going to be important and what the entire series has been building up to, right? wrong! he might have spent the first two seasons making connections, learning about the world outside his sheltered upbringing, and demonstrating the various qualities that would make for a good leader, but the entire third season will be about din realizing that actually he's super unworthy and the darksaber should actually go to someone who... saw an animal in the water.

and it's really, really frustrating as a viewer! because how am i supposed to get invested in any of these plot decisions when they almost always get reversed? why should i care that mj and ned have forgotten peter when ant-man 3 has shown me that they'll remember him the next time they're all on screen together? why should i care that tech is dead when half of the last season of clone wars was about how echo was actually alive? if none of these decisions have any permanence, then where are the emotional stakes? why should i watch your movie if all you're going to tell me is that nothing matters?

#and also i want to make a point that the early mcu did permanent stakes really well #iron man 1 ends with tony announcing that he's iron man and that's something that still resonated years later #the entire second film hinged on that one moment #loki falling into the bifrost is what leads him to the chitauri which is what kickstarted the avengers #steve is woken from the ice and the first organization who presents themselves as someone to trust is shield #which sets up the betrayal he feels in the winter soldier #these moments resonate throughout the first two stages and the decisions the characters made MATTERED #so you can't help but get invested because what if it's the wrong decision??? #anyway i'm frustrated with the state of franchises #alle talks #long post

[star-anise]

You just posted like ten different things about potatoes in the span of maybe five minutes, and I gotta know your take on "The Martian".

Like, the (fictional) man alone on a planet literally only survives because of potatoes shrink-wrapped in plastic for a Thanksgiving meal. If they weren't slated to be on Mars for Thanksgiving, he would have died.

And Andy Weir (author of the original novel) did such a good job with the science of every other element to the story, I honest-to-god believe that potatoes could actually manage to grow in Martian soil (even if that's not been proven for certain afaik).

Which means..... could potatoes terraform Mars into sustaining life??? Are potatoes the key to the universe???

Haha sorry for going so hard on them! Those were mostly all posts from 2020 when gardening and fantasy worldbuilding were lockdown fixations for me. One of them blew up recently so I wanted to give The People more of the content it seemed they were looking for. I don't actually know a lot about potatoes. I just think they're neat.

I do not want to take apart the concept of "colonizing Mars" as some kind of woke gotcha. I want to take your question seriously and charitably. However, I just am the kind of person who's like "Hmm, 'colonize', we should really stop and unpack that word," so let's do that, without forgetting the potato element.

(What "I don't know a lot" means: Potatoes were a crop my family grew several acres of for a few years on our farm before we switched our focus to sheep. I am about 50% as reliable as a horticultural brochure on various potato diseases and growing condition issues. I have listened to two University lectures and read perhaps four historical journal articles beginning-to-end on how the Columbian Exchange affected early-modern Europe, that and half as much again on medieval and early modern European farming practices and population changes, and perhaps three science/history articles specifically on the domestication and proliferation of the potato. I am a white Canadian who actively seeks out information and training in Indigenous history and culture in the Americas, but that's probably still only equal to like, two Native Studies classes in university. I know more than the average person on this topic, but I am also not an expert compared to people who have devoted serious time to learning about this.)

But I have some intuitions in a couple of ways:

The Martian is probably being wildly over-optimistic about its potatoes. They would probably have been irradiated into sterility before being vacuum-packed, and I don't think you can split and propagate them that quickly or successfully. However, potatoes can definitely grow in all kinds of conditions (including under my sink).

They might not be the world's healthiest or happiest potatoes, tho. Soil quality definitely affects the end product. Presumably Watney, being a botanist studying Mars' soil composition, knew how much he had to ameliorate his soil with latrine compost (which would definitely have needed a LOT of processing, since human waste is generally not good for plants, but maybe he used chemicals to speed that up?) to get good soil. However, we would probably need to add a LOT of shit to Mars' soil (and air, and water) for it to host plant life.

Mark Watney makes a joke about having "colonized Mars" because "colony" is Latin for "farm" and he farmed on Mars so haha, funny joke! And we talk about colonies on Mars partly because that's what science fiction did, and a lot of science fiction has been into that colonialism aesthetic. But colonialism and empires actually aren't great, not just because they necessitate huge amounts of racism, oppression, and genocide—I know, you asked me a fun question about potatoes and did not sign up for this, I'm not here to drag you, hear me out—but because they're also really sucky models for agriculture and successful societies generally.

My British ancestors tried to be colonial farmers in a place that is sometimes colder than Mars (Canada's Treaty Six), and let me tell you: IT SUCKED. Most of the crops and herbs and vegetables and flowers that settlers here brought from home and are used to? DON'T FUCKEM GROW. For the Canadian prairies to become conventional farmland, farmers and scientists had to scramble to find, or produce, cold-hardy varieties of everything from wheat to roses. A lot of flowers and plants that are unkillable invasive zombie perennials in other climates don't survive our winters no matter hard we try. The trees and flowers that hold cultural or sentimental attachments for us often don't grow here. The climate is so harsh and population is spread so thin that we cannot do the 100 mile diet and eat foods we're familiar with, and can hardly even manage the 1000 mile diet. (Not that I try, but, my family did once look into it)

A huge number of colonial homesteads, where the pioneers go out on their little covered wagon and build little houses on the prairie? Failed miserably and got bought up by land speculators. My own family came out to Alberta in the 1880s and moved around from land assignment to land assignment, like, six times before settling at their current place in the early 1900s.

Meanwhile: POTATOES

Potatoes are less than ten thousand years old! I am not any kind of expert on archaeology, please nobody throw things, but humans showed up in the Andes (think: high, cold mountains) of South America roughly 9,000 years ago. There are hundreds of wild potato varieties, but they generally produce fairly tiny tubers. It took active work of Indigenous Andean people around 8,000 years ago around Lake Titicaca to cultivate specific strains of potato, doing oldschool genetic modification to make them bigger, more delicious, and hardier. From that cultivation effort around a single species of wild potatoes, they produced thousands of cultivated potato varieties.

Ancient Andean farmers and botanists also played a big part in cultivating quinoa from wild amaranth, as well as producing modern food crops you probably haven't heard of, like oca, olluco, mashua, and yacon, and also coca, which may get a bad rap because it's what cocaine and coca-cola are made from but you cannot deny it's got kick.

Basically, Indigenous people of the Americas (South, Central, and North) went all in on botany and plant cultivation. Plants that we take for granted now have mostly been developed by Indigenous people in the past few thousand years: Tobacco, sunflowers, marigolds, tomatoes, pumpkins, rubber, vanilla, cocoa, sweetcorn, maize, and most kinds of pepper except peppercorn. These things were not found; they were made, by careful cultivation of the world as it was.

This gives us a vision of the future. Colonization, and industrial agriculture, both lean us towards the vision of a totally uniform end product, with the same potato varieties grown on each farm because we have made every farm the same. Instead we could embrace biodiversity and focus on privileging local knowledge and considering the interactions of environment, plants, microbiota, and people. We could create potatoes that were happy on Mars. We could create Mars that is happy to have us. We could create a society that can accept what Mars has to offer.

A lot of why we dream about colonizing Mars is the idea that the Earth itself is dying, that we are killing it, and we need to abandon this farmstead and seek out a new frontier. I acknowledge that shit is bad, but I don't agree with that framing. I am increasingly persuaded that there is a third path between ecological destruction and mass exodus, and I think we need to reject European colonial mentality that creates the forced choice. I find far more use in privileging the knowledge of people who live on and with land than their landlords and rulers, and I especially find value in Indigenous knowledge of land management practices and food production.

I am absolutely not saying that Indigenous people were or are wonderful magical ~spiritual beings~ who frolicked in an Edenic paradise that only knew death and disease once white people showed up. This isn't noble savage bullshit, nor am I invoking people who existed once but whom I have never met. I am saying that I have Indigenous neighbours, colleagues, relatives, and elected representatives. I have learned about mental health, leatherworking, botany, and ecology from Metis and First Nations elders and knowledge-keepers. And like. They have good and useful shit to say.

This is about culture, not race. It is not that their biological DNA means that they know more than me about how to get food from this landscape. It's about cultural history and what we learn from our heritages. What have our cultures privileged? Like, Europe has historically been super into things like metallurgy, domesticating livestock, and creating dairy products. If I want to smelt iron or choose animals to make cheese from, European society would have a lot of useful information for me! And what Indigenous cultures in the Americas have historically focused on instead of cows and copper* include 1) getting REAL familiar with your local flora and figuring out how to make sure you have lots of the herbs and grains and roots and berries you need, and 2) how to make a human society where people can live and have good lives, but do not damage the environment enough to impair the ability of future generations to have the same sort of life.

*Several indigenous American cultures did practice various forms of metallurgy. It's just one of those proportional things, about what societies really go for

Conclusion

I think we could use the processes that formed the potato to find and foster forms of life that could survive on Mars. It would involve learning to think that botany is a sexy science, and understanding just how rich and complicated the environment is. To oxygenate the atmosphere, we'd have to get super enthusiastic about algae and lichen and wetlands. We would have to learn to care deeply about the microorganisms living in the soil, and whether the potatoes are happy.

We'd have to create an economy that counts oxygen and carbon dioxide production on its balance sheets. To learn how to wait for forests to grow back after a fire, instead of giving up in despair because the seedlings aren't trees yet. To do the work now and be hopeful even though we might not see the payoffs for decades, or our victories might only be witnessed by future generations.

So yes, I think we could totally plant potatoes on Mars

But I also think that if we ever got there, we'd have turned into the kind of people who could also save Earth in the first place.

Which makes it a good enough goal in my opinion.

#staranise original #agriculture #potatoes my beloved

[oops-its-a-fanwork]

Dancing with the pirate boys~🕺💃

I simply think we should dance! Dancing is fun!💕

This pirate au is by @mega-punani and these are just my non-canon headcanons <3 check out their page for more! (she's currently not updating this au but her page is a lovely visit!)

Sans Sooo you know those dances where one person does very little dancing and the other person is pretty much dancing around them, pulling them in? He'd offer one of those dances as a 'haha gotcha now I don't have to do much' kinda thing, but little did he know how you'd turn the tables on him! Oh the shameless flirting as you danced your little heart out! Your fleeting touches as you flutter around him, the looks you give him, the proximity as you pull him close, face to face, only to then pull away for another wide twirl~ He's at the centre of the stage and he cant leave, since he promised you he would do this for you. But oh this man is flustered. He is bright blue. And he simply cannot move his eyes off you. Even years later you can still easily tease him by seductively asking him to dance. He'll get bright blue and flustered again immediately even after your little wink ;) Ah man, you got him good. (The crew definitely teases him about it alllll the time. He just hehehs some more.)

Papyrus Yes yes yes he would love to dance!! Papyrus loves folk dances, ballroom dances, silly dances, tangos, just- anything!! Please ask him to dance! And don't be surprised if he asks you to dance either! He loves the joy of dancing in a group and seeing how invested and/or exited everyone is. Depending on how he's feeling, he can be either 1: a little stiff due to being nervous (maybe dancing in the crow's nest with waves like these wasn't your best idea...), 2: lose and carefree and a bit over enthusiastic (an absolutely joyous occasion or some alcohol may do this) or 3: comfortable, confident and super romantic (and pretty dang good!). He truly sweeps you off your feet in an awesome way! Definitely the type to be chatty during a dance too so he'll absolutely flirt with you while holding you in a dip.

Blue Folk dances hell yeah!!!! He knows a ton of them, is really good at them and is very enthusiastic! You'll have a lovely time with him and the gang, and he somehow knows how to make you feel special dancing with him even though you are also dancing with a ton of others. Maybe it's the way he looks at you? The time after the dance is well spent too: you are warm and tired and he is telling you stories about the dances' origins and the places he's learned them. If you dance for long enough you might actually get a very rare chance to nap with him: two tired and content smiling nerds snoozing on the couch. Slick and strict dances aren't his thing though. He loves the way they look and how romantic they are, but doesn't have the patience to learn and perform them well. He'll sweep you off your feet in a different way!

Stretch Listen honey. He doesn't dance. He plays the music. Important distinction. You can, however, convince him to try when you two are separated from the rest of the crew. You’ll be in a bustling town and evening is falling, and a band softly plays music for a buzzing cafe with terrace. And you may convince him to let you put your hand on his shoulder, to put his hand on your side, to put his left foot here, and his right foot there, then take a step there… and he'll be sweating the entire time, holding his breath until you tell him to breathe, darling. And he'll be stunned at how close you are. And he won't notice that you're dancing so sweetly until the song is over and you ask if you could do that again sometime. And he responds with a soft and flustered "yes" and watches you meld into the crowd to collect some drinks for you both. And he reasons that Yes, he truly might do that again…

Red "Heheh you can give me a lapda-" "No. >:/"

I think it would be difficult to actually get him to properly dance with you. He might entertain you for half a song but then he'll start trying to convince you to leave the dance floor with him. Its just not really his thing, and on top of that he's actually kind of embarrassed about looking like a fool unless inebriated. If you are out dancing he'll definitely brag to everyone and their parents that you're his pretty partner though! In fact, he might start taking you out to dance when the ship is docked just to show you off (and to make sure you have a good time of course). He'll request whatever music you need from the sidelines and watch you go at it. Man he has it good~

Edge You can convince him to take classes with you and hell take them super seriously, but he may have been too self-conscious/busy to start on his own. Learning to dance wasn't really a priority back on his home island and he might care if the others make fun of him for it, especially given his perfectionism. If he can use your request as an excuse to do it though... that'll probably do the trick! He actually really enjoys it: it's structured and beautiful and he can choose to either be in the spotlight with you or in a group where he doesn't stand out. He gets good really really fast too, so unless you are already quite good at it he'll be teaching you soon enough. It's truly a lot of fun and you actually see him smile a lot doing this. Truly a massive win.

Black An absolute show off. He knows how to ballroom dance but would never tell anyone even if asked. Except for you it seems! He puts you two in matching outfits, asks for a dance, and then shows off the fact that he has mad skills for dances like this. If he really wants to show off he might even create a spotlight out of sun or moonlight on the both of you. And to top it all off, he makes you feel absolutely special throughout the whole thing! …You can absolutely use this closeness to fluster him though. He can't escape your flirts while holding you this close >:3c He won't really join in on sillier dances or folk-dances unless challenged to, but his footwork and discipline are amazing so he likely will excel at any structured dance if he's been able to observe it well enough (to everyone's excitement and surprise). Any freestyling he will fail at though.

Cash On the surface he's making it seem far too easy to get him to dance with you. He makes it seem like he's out to get close and steal your stuff while he's there (as if he needs the proximity), but it's mostly a facade to hide how nervous this makes him. Like, genuinely dancing together? That's… vulnerable. Like Stretch, the crew can't be near at all, and honestly even strangers like a band are too much. You can gently persuade him to dance to the tune of a music box or radio you brought. You know you've made a genuine connection when he DOESN'T show you he stole something afterwards, even though he did it right at the start to have an easy way out of the situation. No one wants to dance with a thief, right? He puts it back in your pocket the next morning, and seems much more mellow the following days.

Bear He has a strict 'no partying in the kitchen' rule for obvious reasons, but if you are often hiding in the kitchen for some quiet time and tend to play soft music he might sway subconsciously to it, and if he has some downtime during the cooking process you might be able to persuade him to gently sway with you for a little bit, creating a lovely big blush on his face. Do a little pirouette in his arms and his day is all better. Other than this he doesn't really dance when the occasion arises, but you will find that he is completely focused on you as you dance either a silly little swing or some beautiful dance. He has no jealousy at all seeing you dance with others, mainly because his focus is entirely on you <3

Cinnamon Although complicated choreographed dances are difficult due to his eyesight and general clumsiness, simple slow couples dance can be done just fine! Simply swaying with him will have him comfortable and a little flustered. He would love to enthusiastically dance too but he's worried about hurting you and possibly falling on his face and embarrassing himself. When you do end up slow dancing he often needs to hold himself back from squealing at how cute you are this close, and he needs to resist the urge to suddenly spin you in circles and hug you so close because aaaa cuteness aggression! If you give him express permission to show it you'll end up having a very good time giggling with him, it's super sweet :) Also I am convinced this man can tap dance (or at least is trying to learn to) so if you can convince him to show you his skills you can have a lot of fun together!

#Stretch writes about that first dance in his diary and squeals the entire time #papyrus x reader #sans x reader #undertale au #pirate au #Honestly if u do end up giving anyone a lapdance please pick Bear it's so fucking worth it--- #papyrus au #sans au #homemade fanworks #suggestive #< mainly for the lapdance mentions tbh #I hope the change in writing style between the crew isn't too strange to read? #I just did whatever felt right but they are very different now oops :p #edit: I called Bear Skull bc I've been working on my pokemon horror boy Skull while writing this oops it's fixed now

[bitethedevil]

what annoys me the most about "canonically bad in bed", a list

- this is coming from hist LITERAL DILDO, like sorry he is not trying to pleasure his dildo, DO YOU PLEASE YOUR DILDO OR YOURSELF WHEN U GET OFF??? (totally understand haarlep is unhappy #freehaarlep but that is not the topic of this treatise)

- masturbation is always auto-erotic. e.g. almost all pornography directed at straight men shows men glorification of THEIR role in a sex situation, almost all erotica directed at straight women shows THEM being desired, it is always abt u and ur ego

- being "good" or "bad" in bed is a normative bullshit question I am frankly annoyed tav can even ask, because different people like different things, and this game is otherwise a lot better written about sex and gender stuff. also if you play haarlep's game, tav lies there like a starfish doing nothing at all, and haarlep likes it?? we should get rid of normative sexual evaluations of others smh

- there are people who like topping, people who like bottoming, frankly this is kinda toxic homophobic/misogynistic "haha, he was the one *getting* fucked all the time" implying a. the fuck-ee is dominated by the fuck-er and fucking is a violent act of dominance (untrue), and b. bottoms are somehow lesser than tops? so much wrong with this!!

- if I recall correctly haarlep just says raphael was bad in bed and always on bottom, and nothing about how long he lasts, and then the only way tav can use this knowledge to provoke raphael is by ASSUMING he doesn't last for very long, which is like wtf? why would u shame someone with some made-up toxic sex norms/assume they try to last when they masturbate? (even in case haarlep does say raphael cums too soon, shaming people for cumming too quick is such an incredibly mean thing, they can't control it)

- it is kinda sad (and toxic ngl) that raphael cares about haarlep so much and can't deny him anything and is so obsessed with this person who hates him and is dependent on him, giving strong toxic hetero relationship vibes. raphael, u can't have a relationship with someone who u control baby that is just not how it works lil guy, are u too scared u are not good enough for someone who will choose u of their own free will, are u scared they will leave u babygirl

to conclude we know absolutely nothing about raphael's sexual preferences, we just know haarlep is (rightfully) angry at him and being a slave, and raphael has ego issues which like come one we already knew that from day 1

I’m completely with you anon. The only thing I would like to comment on (and this is just my own interpretation) is the fact that Raphael can’t deny Haarlep anything. I don’t think that’s out of any fondness, I completely think its through Haarlep’s magic…which…just kind of makes it worse since Haarlep is there to spy on him for Mephistopheles. You saw how hard it was for Tav to deny him use of their body and mind. I’d imagine it works the same way with Raph, even though he’s a cambion. In my mind, the whole dynamic between Haarlep and Raph is fucked and Raphael is just trying to make the most out of a bad situation (I wrote a whole post on it a little while back, but it is of course just my own interpretation). Which just makes it even WORSE that Tav behaves the way they do about the whole thing. Like damn. I’d be mad as hell too.

I might write a standalone post on the weird discourse on Raphael’s sex-life at some point because it does somewhat fascinate me. Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of any work, and that is something I hold sacred. What bothers me sometimes is the way that people talk about it. For example, the problematic way of portraying tops/bottoms and the shaming part that you also talked about in this ask.  

What bothers me even more is when people feel the need to drag that interpretation into fan-spaces to reduce the character to just those aspects as a “gotcha”. I don’t know if that is just me, but if there’s characters that I don’t like, I don’t even use their tags. I’ve written a couple of hate posts on the Emperor. They might show up under the tag just because Tumblr’s algorithm is weird, but I’ve never tagged them with the character’s name, just in case there are fans who use the tag and find that annoying.

Anyway…Thank you so much for the ask! I completely agree with you.

#ask #raphael bg3 #raphael the cambion #bg3 raphael #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Not really a good writer but whatever. bit out of character maybe.

(Some aidlyn food for the soul)

Bail

"Aiden, I'm gonna fall again!"

"You're not gonna fall, be confident!"

"Alright- I'm confident I'm gonna fall off this stupid thing!"

Ashlyn flapped her arms, desperately trying to regain her balance. She couldn't believe she'd let Aiden rope her into learning how to skateboard- she'd fallen on her ass more times than she could count in less than an hour, and she was pretty sure her tailbone was starting to bruise. At the very least, the skatepark was totally abandoned, so there were no witnesses to her repeat failures. Besides Aiden, of course.

She felt herself tilting forward, squeezing her eyes shut and raising her arms to block the fall, but it never came.

"Ah, gotcha!"

She blinked slowly, still disoriented from the sudden movement. Aiden's hands were tight around her elbows, the tip of his shoe jammed between the wheels. He smiled at her, the sunlight bouncing off his hair and his white teeth making him look even more boyish than usual. "Almost face-planted there, haha."

His head was inclined towards her, making his face a little too close for her own comfort. She looked away, her knees shaking. "You couldn't have caught me all those other times?"

"I didn't think you'd fall that much! You're so good at everything, I thought...", he trailed off, eyes flicking to the ground. "Sorry, we can stop the sesh."

Something bubbled up in her chest, indignation, maybe, or her own wounded pride. "No, actually, I think I'm getting it, let's keep going."

He stared at her, in a very particular way that almost made her feel transparent, like he was calling her bluff, like he could see right through her bullshit. "Are you sure? Your arms are kinda..."

She was pale, and she bruised easily, but the mottled skin was partially hidden by her freckles. "I'm fine. I've got a helmet."

It wasn't her helmet, but Aiden never wore his anyway. If she was going to keep this up, though, she should probably invest in a new one. There was a dent in the back, and she didn't really want to wear a helmet that had "Brain Bucket" scrawled on the side.

"Well, alright...do I need to explain it again?"

She thought about the time Aiden had told her he'd cracked his skull when trying to do an acid drop and wondered if the problem lied not with her, but her teacher. "Mm...yeah, if you don't mind."

He took her hand -a little spark running up her fingertips at the contact- and helped her off his board. "Right, so first, pick your stance. You seemed to prefer regular, but you can try goofy too, that's how I ride."

She couldn't help but snicker. It was so like Aiden to ride his board in the most uncomfortable looking way ever. "Hm! Regular is fine."

He nodded, helping her up, his leg out in case the board shot out from under her feet and shot off to crash against a rail. Which had already happened. Twice.

Easy...just relax and balance yourself.

She let out a shaky sigh, and to her delight, she was only slightly unsteady. "Hey, I'm-!"

She clamped her mouth shut when she felt Aiden's hands settle around her waist. "Try to align your feet over the trucks."

The only trucks she knew were the kind you drove, but she shifted her weight around, watching Aiden's face, until his eyes brightened and she assumed she'd gotten it right. She was finding it hard to concentrate, Aiden was a touchy guy, sure, but he'd never just grabbed her waist before. His fingers felt cold, even through her tank-top, even in the summer heat. Her cheeks slowly colored, a pretty shade of rose, which was mercifully hidden by her sunburn.

He laughed, a mischievous-looking smirk spreading across his face. "There you go! Did you just need me to hold on to you?"

He made it sound stupid and flirty at the same time, and she fought the urge to push him away because otherwise she was going to eat shit again. Her pride did not overrule her own tolerance to pain. "Whatever, shut up."

He let go of her waist, before quickly latching one hand on her arm. "Okay, so- don't tiptoe, I've seen you do that, you keep losing your balance like that. Put your weight on the front part of your feet."

Force of habit. Maybe it was too much ballet.

Slowly, very slowly, she pointed her left foot frontwards, the right firm against the deck. Aiden tentatively untangled their fingers, only the pad of his thumb brushing against her knuckles. "That wasn't too hard, was it?"

Smartass.

She scowled at him. "You can't talk too much, Mr. I-broke-my-arm-doing-an-airwalk."

He just laughed even more.

She scoffed, pulling her hand away from his. She put her foot against the asphalt to push herself forward. "See? Easy as-!"

The board shot forward, knocking her off her feet. "GAH-!"

"Ash!"

Aiden rushed forward to catch her, seizing her wrist and tugging her towards him. He tumbled backward as she crashed into his chest, hitting the ground with a dull thud. "Agh- shit...!"

She moved her hand to rub her head, only to be met with the hard plastic of the helmet. Well, now she knew why it was called a brain bucket- it felt like the organ was being rattled around in her skull, like a pile of shells or stones in a child's pail.

"Ash-! Are you alright?"

She let out a groan before opening her eyes, immediately started by the blood red of Aiden's contacts being so close to her. They were very close. She could see all the little details that she usually never paid any attention to- the almost purplish color to his skin around his sunken-in eyes, a lock of black hair curling over his ear, the only survivor of his constant bleaching, even the scar on his chin from playing with a pocket knife.

And his mouth. His mouth was extremely distracting.

"Um, Ash? Did you get a concussion or something?"

You want to kiss him.

The realization hits her with a dull terror.

Oh, crap, I want to kiss him.

Not even her sunburn can hide the mortifying shade of red that spreads across her face, and her hands are a poor substitute. She mumbles incoherently into her palms, her skin tingling from the heat radiating off her skin.

"Ashlyn...? I...What's happening right now?"

"..."

"...I...Can you say that again?"

I'm gonna kill him.

"...you...hh...mouth..."

Making sentences is hard.

"Did you hurt your mouth? Should I check it?"

Imagining Aiden touching her lips, his eyes roving carefully for any cut or bruise, makes it almost a thousand times worse.

"...!!!"

She peeks at him between her fingers, big forest-green eyes gleaming, almost magnetically drawn towards his own mouth. He follows her gaze, before stopping abruptly.

"Oh."

Oh, indeed.

"...Ash, would you let me...?"

He sounds so earnest. It makes her stomach feel weird, like there's a gaping maw inside her, or a hive full of crawling insects. Nothing pleasant like in the movies, unless butterflies in your belly were supposed to make you throw up.

She nods.

"Um...it's a little hard with your hands on your face," he says, not unkindly.

She closes her eyes, because she feels like she'll lose any semblance of bravery if she looks at him, and lets her arms hang loosely by her sides.

First, she feels the exhale of his breath on her lips, and then, a very soft, slight pressure on her mouth. Somehow, it feels exactly like a kiss, and yet, nothing like one. She doesn't respond, because she doesn't know how. The experience is quite neutral, made positive-leaning by the fact that it's Aiden that is kissing her.

Then he pulls away. "Um...sorry, I'm not really good at this stuff..."

Her eyes flutter open. He looks flustered, a pink hue bleeding into his cheeks.

"I mean, I've done it a few times, and every time it was super awkward-"

She purses her lips into a flat line, arching a single brow.

"-! Not that this was awkward or anything! I liked it- I mean, if you liked, I liked it-"

She watches him dig himself deeper into this hole of his own making.

"...I gotta teach you how to bail."

"...what's that?"

"A way to step off your board safely when you mess up a trick."

"But I don't know any tricks."

He sighs, runs his fingers through his bangs. "I know, but if you keep falling off and into me, I might spend more time kissing you than teaching you."

A small smile curves her lips. Well, one of those things interests her far more than the other, but he doesn't need to know which is which.

#sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #school bus graveyard #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #aiden x ashlyn #if you saw this no you didn't #ooc probably

[satanscatsworld]

*rolls out from under your bed on a car creeper* May I ask if you could do the last prompt about anxiety and triggering situations, but with Lilia and Cater?

TWST boys’ headcanons with an introvert MC who has anxiety, nervous ticks and who always selflessly insert themself into triggering situations! Lilia + Cater!

What are you doing under my b- oh nevermind- lol.

Sure thing! I hope you will like it, I tried my best ^^!

Enjoy <3333333

Part one with Leona, Jamil, Azul, Floyd and Crewel right here.

----------

Lilia Vanrouge

Oh, that one… How could that one ever miss something about you?

Lilia is sharp when it comes to these things. You see, he’s fairly… Old and experienced, despite not looking like it, and he also raised two wonderful boys that you know well.

He met enough people through ages to learn and read through them.

And you were no exceptions! He could read through you like an open book, and it didn’t take him long before noticing what was going on.

The way you were always saying yes to any request, no matter how awkward it could make you feel, and how busy you were. Oh little one, you just couldn’t say no, could you?

But what also caught his eye, is the was you never turned out anyone, even though the situation triggered you.

Which caused you, and he noticed it pretty quickly as well, to trigger your nervous tics.

He particularly noticed how you would always need to have something in your hands. Be it your rings, or, if you didn’t wear/like jewellery, your phone, your fingers, whatever your hands could grab and crush between them.

Even to the point where it would physically hurt you to do so, you just couldn’t help it when those episodes stroke in.

He didn’t wait long before taking the matter into his own hands though, and soon enough, you would have your boyfriend magically appearing above your head, a sly and cunning smirk on his lips, and scaring the others away.

“Prefect, could you please-” “BOO!” “AHHHh!”

Jokes aside, it would happen a lot. And if people didn’t get the hint, Lilia would tell them himself to grow up and not rely on you for anything and everything, and especially something they know you don’t like to do.

As for your hands, he would help you to take care of them: applying a healing cream, bandages if your nails stabbed your flesh, and he would absolutely not prevent you from nervously holding things in your hands.

Though, to help you calm down he would offer you his hand.

“My, My, Love, one must not refuse a fae’s request, I’ll may end up landing a curse upon you… Haha, gotcha! Just kidding. May you hold my hands? I’m quite the anti-stress par excellence, hehe.”

Cater Diamond

Ay, that one is so underestimated!

Cater may look like he’s an airhead, your typical classmate play-boy, but he’s definitely not and he’s a lot more than that.

He’s actually got quite the observing eye, almost nothing can go past him without him noticing.

He notices when you change your haircut, he knows your favourite things, he notices pretty much anything if that’s about you, his beloved lover.

But this time, only this time, you were the one coming up to him.

It was after a pretty bad triggering episode, the task given to you left you in a pretty bad state, and you struggled very hard. You were so tired of your body not listening to you.

You were so tired of the anxiety crawling on your skin, carving in your flesh, owning your body like its own.

You were also so flustered and awkward after, because some of your classmates happened to witness it, and gave you very heavy weird stares.

You cried in Cater’s arms after that, metaphor or not, when your boyfriend saw your pale and distressed face, he immediately ran up to you and hugged you tight.

Either you tell him or not, he noticed what was going on.

Annnnd you, my friend, is getting pampered!

He wants you to rest, he even gently scolds you for it, and he puts his mind into protecting you even more. That is to say: if he’s not with you, he will tell Adeuce to look out for you more and tell people to scram, if he’s with you, he will wait for you to speak for yourself, and if you can’t, he will for you.

Also! You will often catch him using his unique magic, that literal cheat code, so that even if he’s too busy at the moment, one of his clone will check up on you.

Cater is literally one of the sweetest beans ever, and never judged you for being yourself, especially not in such situations.

#Snuggles #CaringBoyfriend #FavouriteGingerBoy

“MC-ey, look what I got! This is a new plaid blanket, it’s extra soft. Oh, I also got ya one of those essential oil diffusers, I heard it was pretty good to help you calm down with a familiar scent you liked. Here, let’s get comfy!”

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fluff #twisted wonderland x reader #Twst #Twst Lilia #Lilia Vanrouge #diasomnia #Lilia x reader #Lilia x yuu #Lilia x mc #Twst Cater #Cater Diamond #twisted wonderland cater #Twisted Wonderland Lilia #Cater x yuu #Cater x MC #Cater x reader #heartslabyul #twst heartslabyul #Lilia fluff #Lilia Vanrouge Fluff #cater fluff #Cater Diamond Fluff #It's almost 1AM and I'm tired lol #Twst mc #Twst Yuu #Twisted Wonderland reader #Twisted Wonderland MC #Twisted Wonderland yuu #Twst readers

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LOST EDEN WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD ”Coffin Decoration ~ Out of the Counsel of Three comes the Greatest Fashion Sense”

Original title: 棺桶★デコレーション～三人寄れば最強のセンス!?～

Source: Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru, Takashi Kondou & Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: This CD added three days to my lifespan with how absolutely ADORABLE Subaru is. ;w; I love it when he gets super excited about coffins and such, haha. That being said, Ayato and Yuma were hilarious in this CD as well. I loved how they all work together in the end to make what is probably the strangest coffin in all of human and Vampire history. xD 

Ayato: …Goddamnit, Reiji. Can he just stop complainin’ ‘bout every single damn thing? I’m not the only one whose room is a mess! It’s my room so it can be as messy as I want it to be, right? …Huh?

Ayato suddenly comes to a halt.

Ayato: Is that…?

Subaru: …

Ayato approaches Subaru. 

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! Whatcha doin’ over here? …It doesn’t happen every day that Mr. Shut-In leaves his room. 

*Rustle*

Subaru: Shut up!! It’s none of your fuckin’ business, is it!? I’m busy right now so leave me alone!

Ayato: Busy? All you’re doin’ is lookin’ inside some store. …Ah? 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: What’s this? 

Subaru: Can’t you tell? It’s a customizable coffin. 

Ayato: Oh. Now that you mention it, it does have these weird decorations on it. …Oh! Are those different kinds of sweets and candy on top? Interestin’! 

Subaru: You like that overly cutesy one? The one on the far right is obviously the coolest!

Ayato: Hah? The one with the black wings? …Also could they have fit on any more skulls? It’s way too much.

Yuma approaches them.

Yuma: …Aah? If it isn’t the Loudmouth and the Shut-In. What brings ya two here? 

Ayato: Subaru wants to decorate his coffin, apparently. 

Yuma: Decorate? Is that the sorta thing you’re into mate? 

Subaru: I’m not…!! I never said I’d actually do it, did I!?

Ayato: But you’ve been lookin’ at this even way before I came here, right? I bet you actually want to give it a try.

Subaru: …!! W-Well…

Yuma: Heeh…Well, check it out! It says that right now, ya can put on as many ornaments as ya can fit on there!

Subaru: …

Ayato: If you’re too scared to go inside by yourself, I can come with you? I’ll even help you pick out some stuff! I’ll sniff out the real cool stuff!

Subaru: …I can only see this endin’ badly. 

Yuma: In that case, I’ll tag along too! Let’s make a coffin that would turn anyone into a shut-in. (1)

Subaru: You guys are makin’ fun of me, aren’t you? Besides, aren’t you outside for a reason as well!? 

Yuma: Yeah. I’m on my way to buy stuff for tonight’s dinner. But I still have plenty time, so it should be fine. 

Ayato: I only left the house to escape from Reiji’s ramblin’. …Come on, let’s go inside already. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: …Hey!

Ayato: You grab his other arm, Yuma. 

Yuma: Gotcha. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: …! Ugh…!

Ayato: Don’t worry. You’ll be cryin’ tears of joy by the end.

Yuma: Exactly. Leave it to us!

They drag Subaru inside the store. 

Subaru: As if…!! Why do I have to do this with you two fuckers anyway…!? I can already tell you’re goin’ to turn it into some kind of weird shit…!! …So stop pulling me…!!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Oh…They’ve got so many decorations to choose from. Wow.

Subaru: Aren’t their coffins a lil’ too big as well? This is pretty much twice the size of my current one. 

Yuma: You’ve got a point. This doesn’t look like it’s meant for one person. 

Ayato: What are you sayin’? Not only does it give you more space to work with, but it’ll obviously be more comfortable to sleep in as well!

Yuma: Is that how it works? 

Subaru: Che…I can’t keep up with you idiots any longer. I’m goin’ home. 

Ayato: That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? …Let me see…Oh! What do you think ‘bout this one? 

*Rustle* 

Yuma: Ah! Why a huge cross out of all things!? Ya really think this guy will like that?

Ayato: Ah…? I guess you’re right, it’s kinda creepy. Oi, Subaru. Let’s go for somethin’ else after aーー

Subaru: Not bad…

Ayato & Yuma: Haah…!? 

Subaru: I should probably put this one on the lid. Also…It’d look even better by adding a pair of bat wings. …Wait, no! The dragon wings are kind of temptin’ too…

Yuma: No way…That’s the sort of thing he likes? What’s wrong with your lil’ brother’s taste!?

Ayato: Don’t ask me!!

*Rustle* 

Subaru: Oi, you guys should bring me some decorations too. If they’re good, I’ll even use them. 

Ayato: That arrogant tone pisses me off, but seems like he finally got in the mood. …Let’s do this. I’ll put on some weird shit and turn it into the lamest coffin ever seen. Hehe…

Yuma: I mean, I guess this is a decent way to kill some time, so count me in.

Subaru: What are you two whisperin’ ‘bout? 

Ayato: Nothin’! I’ll go fetch somethin’ that’ll blow you out of your socks, so just you wait!

Yuma: You just stick to bein’ your usually loner self and have fun decoratin’ ‘kay? 

*TIMESKIP*

Subaru: …Okay. This should do for the lid. 

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! Check this one out…!!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ah? What? Also, what took you so damn long!? I’m pretty much done except for the sidーー …Wait, that’s…

*Dun dun*

Ayato: It’s a mini-sized takoyaki grill! If you put this on your coffin, you’ll be able to enjoy takoyaki all while livin’ the loner life! Isn’t that amazing!? 

Subaru: Hard pass! Besides, if I start grillin’ takoyaki inside my coffin, I won’t be able to sleep from the stench afterwards, will I? 

Ayato: Haah? But it’s the best smell in the world…? You really don’t get it. 

Subaru: I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in this world who feels that way. 

Ayato: Fine then. Guess I’ll have to make do with this one instead…

*Rustle rustle* 

Subaru: …Please don’t tell me that round thing is a takoyaki. 

Ayato: Huh? Are you really that stupid? What else does it look like to you? Well, it’s only a decoration and not the real thing though. 

Subaru: But why!? You’re the only person who’d be happy havin’ that thing on their coffin!

Ayato: You already rejected the takoyaki grill so at least let me have this? You’re really provin’ the point that the youngest child is always the most selfish one. 

Yuma walks up to them. 

Yuma: Are ya’ll havin’ an argument again? Ya never grow tired of that, do ya?

Subaru: We’re not! It’s just Ayato’s who’s tryin’ to put stupid shit on my coffin!

Ayato: Ah…? Maybe you should stop shootin’ down all of my suggestions!

Yuma: Oh come on, lay it off. You’re causin’ issues for the store. …Anyway, I brought some stuff with me. 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Let me see…

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Carrots, peppers, eggplant and cabbage…These are all vegetables, aren’t they?

Yuma: Gotta get those greens in. Works wonders for yer health. 

Subaru: No but…Those are not somethin’ you’d put on a coffin, right?

Yuma: Nah, don’t worry. They’re all just incredibly well-made replicas. 

Ayato: Heeh, these as well? After seeing the takoyaki from earlier as well, I have to say that they really upped their replica game. 

Subaru: That’s not the issue…!! What I’m tryin’ to say is that these don’t fit the aesthetic at all!

Yuma: Hah…? You are in no position to judge, are you!? The fuck did you do to this coffin? 

Ayato: Geh…! Now that you mention it, Subaru’s creation is…on a whole different level. 

Yuma: Skulls and crows…Ah? And are those thorny vines and snakes running across? 

Ayato: And can we also mention the really creepy face in the middle? Is that a monster of some sort?

Subaru: Take a proper look! It’s a devil! Can’t you see its horns? 

Ayato: Do devils have horns?

Yuma: Beats me. …Or rather, why would a Vampire put that on their coffin? 

Subaru: I just thought the design looked cool, that’s all. 

Ayato: Then these spider web-like patterns were done on purpose too? 

Subaru: Obviously. 

Yuma: I don’t get it. 

Ayato: I don’t even want to understand. 

Yuma: Guess I have no other choice but to fix it up for ya a lil’...

*Rustle rustle* 

Subaru: Oi! Don’t be changin’ the composition without my permission!

Yuma: Oh come on, just watch. 

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: First you put this here…and then…

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: …There we go! The carrots add a nice touch, don’t ya think?

Ayato: Heeh…You had the crows hold carrots with their feet, huh? 

Subaru: I mean…I guess it doesn’t look half bad…

Ayato: …Oh!

*Ping* 

Ayato: I just had a genius idea as well…! If I put the takoyaki inside this lizard’s mouth…

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: Ah! I kind of like it!

Subaru: Say, don’t you think the eggplant would fit well with the color palette as well? 

Ayato: It’s purple after all! Why don’t you try wrapping one of those chains around it?

*Cling cling* 

Subaru: …Not bad. 

Ayato: Let’s add a basketball while we’re at it as well. See? It looks good with a crown of thorns placed on top of it.

Yuma: In that case…The cabbage should go inside the skull, right?

Subaru: No, wait. Tomatoes would work way better. 

Yuma: I’d say we go for cherry tomatoes then. It’d look way better if we stuff a bunch of them inside. 

Subaru: Yuma, you…You’re a genius!

Ayato: Oi, Subaru. We need somethin’ big which really stands out. 

Subaru: Ah, now that you mention it…I saw a spider ornament with really long legs earlier. It didn’t click with me earlier, but it might actually improve the overall design! I’ll go get it!

Ayato: Yeah! We’ll decorate some of the other empty spaces while you’re gone. 

Yuma: Hurry up, ‘kay?

Subaru: Kuh…Don’t mess it up!

Subaru runs off.

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle*

Subaru: …It’s perfect!

Ayato: Yeah! We created a true masterpiece!

Yuma: We didn’t skimp on the details after all. 

Subaru: I was kind of worried for a sec…But I never thought the end result would be this good!

Ayato: That’s all thanks to my help. 

Yuma: What are ya sayin’? I’m the one who did such a great job with the composition. 

Subaru: Hah…? We were able to achieve this result because I did the lid first.

Ayato: Excuse me!? 

Subaru: Got a problem, huh!? 

Yuma: For the millionth time, don’t start fightin’ inside the store! …Anyway, don’t we need to square up now?

Subaru: Ah, right…

Ayato: I hope you’re not gonna tell us you don’t have any money.

Subaru: Hah? Of course I do!

Subaru walks to the counter. 

Yuma: Anyway, how much does one of these cost? 

Ayato: Hah? Didn’t you say that there’s an all-you-can-fit deal? You must have seen the price then, no? 

Yuma: Nah, I didn’t pay attention to that.

Subaru: (muffled) ーー Haah!? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me!? 

Ayato: …!? What’s that guy’s problem? Why is he shoutin’ out of nowhere? 

Yuma: Should we go take a look? 

Ayato and Yuma walk up to him.

Ayato: Oi, what’s up?

Yuma: Did ya forget yer wallet? 

Subaru: I didn’t! But look at the damn total!

Yuma: The price? …Ahー It’s surprisingly…expensive, huh? 

Subaru: I don’t have nearly enough money on me. 

Yuma: I’ve only got some small change as well. …I mean, there’s the money Ruki gave me to buy food butーー If I use that, my head will be on the choppin’ block…

Ayato: Oh geez, guess I have no other choice. I can easily pay this mu…

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Hm…?

Subaru: Ayato…

Ayato: Now that you mention it, I didn’t bring my wallet with me. 

Yuma: First ya talk all big and now this!? 

Subaru: Or rather…If my pocket money isn’t nearly enough, I doubt addin’ yours to it will make much of a different. 

Ayato: Ahーah. We put so much time and effort into it as well. 

Yuma: We should have probably checked the price tag first.

Subaru: Haah…My coffin…I’ve decided! I’ll start a part-time job at this store and one day that coffin shall be mine!

Yuma: Haah!? What are ya sayin’...!? 

Ayato: It’s not worth goin’ that for, is it? 

Subaru: Right! You two should come work here with me as well. I’ll go have a word with the manager, so stay right here, ‘kay!?

Subaru runs off.

Ayato & Yuma: Haahーー!?

 ーー THE END ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #yuma mukami #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[originemesis]

hc musings - character dive ; //

Judging from season 1, I think it's safe to assume Adam does not like be without his helmet/mask. Sure, he's dressed up for his meetings/in court/for the final battle, which is just about everywhere he pops up in the season. However, he's also briefly shown just hanging out with Lute in heaven and he's still in uniform while she isn't. This is likely their down time, and yet he's still lugging around his massive robes, fully decked out for battle like it could happen anytime when clearly they're in heaven and it can't. So why is this?

Well, when the mask actually comes off (it's forced off and smashed apart just to get to that point), Adam is just 'some dude' under the menacing, manic act he's been putting on the whole time. An act as in when he crawls out of the hole without his safeguard face, he literally just has a melt down in front of everyone where his previous 'cunty charm' and 'idgaf' attitude are gone in place of some caught on the spot, seething human looking dirt bag who's only 'gotcha' is to call the group that's put an end to his reign of terror 'losers'. Just losers (baby ~). If he's not insecure with what he is under that mask (and how could he not be when not one, but two people who were literally created to be his perfect match dumped his ass? Oof.), then he absolutely has an inferiority complex of sorts and its in his 'break-down' moment on screen where it's on full display without the glowing grin and the horns.

To scratch further at that thought- imagine how Adam, the first human/man was essentially created in God's image. He was created to be perfect by heaven's definition, and though he didn't stay that way, he got a taste for what that felt like. Literally anything he does after that point when Eve and him have to leave Eden is (unironically) 'mid' or worse.

HC wise (out of my own musings so don't mind the canon divergence here since s2 is likely uhh...twitterjokes2027-) I'm leaning into the idea that the first two human souls are weighty in the sense that they can't both be in the same after life or it'll upset whatever balance there is between heaven and hell. So at the time of their deaths, it was decided that heaven wanted Adam and so hell would have Eve by default (also she was the one they blamed most- typical fandoms @ female characters amiriteeee). This means Adam who knows he's not perfect anymore, hasn't felt so in a long time- goes to a plane of existence that exudes perfection. They have 'the brightest, the polite-est of the lot and everyone is hot'. And then there he is- just some dude who is none of those things (hates math, innately rude, and well...'just some guy' isn't exactly heaven-scale hot guyyys).

This cumulation of always realizing nothing he does is good enough (because he knows this) and yet being treated like it is because he just happened to be first leads Adam to a state that even Lucifer comments on in their battle in the form of 'oh haha, you really let yourself go-'. Which I take to mean in the sense Adam is up in heaven, holding zoom-style holographic meetings while he probably barely even leaves his room (and never without his gear on), neglecting the 'womanly' deemed things like cooking and taking care of himself, gaining struggle weight for it all, and worst of all...he's in heaven and he's essentially in a depressed state (that let's be real he'd say doesn't exist like the dwightyouignorantslut he is) and that is plastered all over his real face in the form of baggy under eyes and that gross chin stubble he got going on too. And since heaven is full of happy, not depressed- never have a hard day, and HOT people, he essentially stays covered 24/7 in public because people would definitely question why he's there and heaven really doesn't need more people questioning decisions that'll create more Lucifers.

While wearing the mask he's like a kid that won't take his Halloween costume off because it makes him feel cool, and he does get a lot more animated and forgetful of his true insides. He's almost like a school mascot in a way, using his 'angelsona' to amplify his attention-grabbing antics. Take it away and he's very likely much more identical to Lucifer in terms of the whole 'take THAT, depression!' bit. Except for Adam that just translates to him being far less animated, grumpy, electric-guitar to acoustic pipeline, passively aggressive and likely tired, being the source of all humanity and all (man needs to be sucking down that G-fuel hourly).

Additionally: Angeldust and Adam would have the same theme of 'putting on an act' (or in Adam's case- putting on a show) and not letting the real person behind the façade show through. (Though in Angel's case it's for his own protection. In Adam's case it's because man can't cope with his insecurity.) And how Husk sees through Angel's bullshit, Lute does the same with Adam.

Adam's helmet glitched out the same way that Vox's did, so it could very well be a hint that Vox and Adam may have something to do with antagonism in the next season. If Adam came back w/o his mask and this all was applicable ofc, he would definitely team up with or make a deal with Vox in order to get him to fix the helmet (assuming he can based on the idea he might know how it works when put back together since his own tv face has been shown to glitch out like Adam's did) since it would be a necessary competent to bring back the actual 'Adam' he's become after living in discomfort with the one he became after experiencing real perfection.

#//why everything is mid- the end #//kugel making me eat my own hand wanting to write about this #//i mean this is what i thinkk is going on w/him but #//real life said 'cope' and he was like aight #long post #hc ; // guaranteed guitar solo

[helicrazy]

💬

Send a ‘💬’ to catch a glimpse of a memory my muse has.

:: You got a bogey on your six. ::

Vortex groans. There's no such thing as a 'Con going for a simple flight anywhere near human-populated areas on this planet. It's not Cybertron, but Earth had some decent spots to soar through the skies, view beautiful sights, and don't even get him started on those tornadoes that form. Unfortunately, the small fragile fleshlings ruin it by contacting the Autobots once they catch a glimpse of anything Decepticon suspicious.

And okay, maybe he did fly too low to the ground to spook them. He couldn't help it when they got scared so easily.

:: Please tell me it's- ::

:: No. :: Blast Off huffs out. :: Scanners show it's a plane or jet, not piloted by a human. ::

:: Greeaaaat. :: His day could not get any more annoying. Besides his rival, the only Autobot fliers were a pacifist scientist, a glorified human lover, and the aerial combiner team who acted like they ruled the skies. The Combaticon attempts to lose them in the clouds, but his HUD picks up an oncoming missile that comes in fast and hits his tail rotor before he can even react.

"Haha! Gotcha Decepti-creep!"

Unable to continue flying, Vortex transforms and spins around to see the Aerialbot, also known as Air Raid, charging at him. Using whatever momentum he has left, he sends himself crashing right into them. His visor glares at the enemy as he punches a servo into the jet's cockpit, aiming straight for the control panel while the other grips the wing flap. If he's going down, he's bringing the flier wannabe with him.

The Autobot transforms to fight back and it's a battle of who gets to be the other's cushion when plummeting into the ground. Needless to say, they both equally take the impact when crashing into a neighborhood. Destroying multiple houses before they finally skid to a stop. Any humans who weren't caught in the collision were screaming, running for their lives, or staying in their homes for protection.

Vortex doesn't waste a second getting back up, ignoring any injuries he sustained including the damage to his knee joint, he limps over to the downed Aerialbot readying his weapon, and snatches it from him. "You are in for it now." The Combaticon claims as he steps on the 'Bot and uses the weapon as a club to strike Air Raid's face multiple times.

Air Raid spits out energon and looks confidently up at the Combaticon. "Upset that you won't be flying anytime soon?"

The question is met with another bash to the Autobot's face. "I might be unable to fly for a couple days..." Vortex states while bringing the weapon down again. "But they'll need to rebuild your face from scratch..." And again. "Once." Whack. "I'm." Whack. "Done." Whack. "With." Whack. "You."

Whack.

The gun breaks making the copter look at it before tossing it aside. He looks down at the Aerialbot, his beaten face almost unrecognizable with pieces of it all around him and pooling in energon. Air Raid attempts to say something and Vortex leans over with a gleam in his visor.

"Upset you won't be using that vain mouth of yours~?" The Combaticon deeply chuckles while leaning away and catching Blast Off landing a distance from him. He turns to limp over to his teammate.

:: Are you forgetting something? ::

Vortex slants his helm as he points back at the Autobot with his thumb. "That one? Please..."

"They are not worth it."

#photobombingcryptid #asks #Set around G1/ 1980's #These are fun I'm loving it #tw: violence #tw: blood #Just in case

[giggly-squiggily]

Candy Heart Valentine Event

Fandom: Dr Stone

Ler: Kohaku

Lee: Nikki Hanada

Prompts: Me+You "No Way! I Didn't Know You Were Ticklish!" And I Love You "What A Brave Thing To Say For Someone So Ticklish!"

{Candy Heart Prompts: OFFICIALLY CLOSED!}

NIKKI!!! I don't think I've written for her yet? I've certainly wanted too! This is a great opportunity! :D I've gotcha covered, friend!

Me + You: "No way! I didn't know you were ticklish!" + "What a brave thing to say for someone so ticklish!"

“Then you go..like this!” Kohaku mimicked what she saw, pulling Nikki over her shoulder. In a flourish of moves, the taller girl was on her back, letting out a small ‘oof’ while Kohaku cheered. “I did it!”

“Haha! You did!” Laughing alongside her, Nikki held up a hand, letting Kohaku pull her into a sitting position. “You’re a fast learner- way more than those dorks that guard the gate.”

“Pfft- yeah!" Kohaku snickered, picturing Kinro and Ginro's faces in her mind. "They’re getting there though; they still practice everything I taught them.” With another pull, Kohaku had Nikki on her feet, squeezing the hand she gripped with ease. “We should do a joint-practice with them sometime; see how far they’ve come.”

“Oh, that’s so mean- they’ll never survive our conjoined force.”

“Maybe- we’ll have to change our methods.” Kohaku grinned before she dived behind the taller girl, grabbing her sides. “Hit him with a surprise tickle attack!”

“GAH!” Nikki yelped, darting forward with a laugh. Kohaku blinked.

Then she grinned.

“No way! I didn’t know you were-”

“Kohaku, I swear on my life in the stone world, if you try tickling me, I’ll make you pay!” Nikki twisted to face her, taking on what she hoped to be an intimidating battle stance. Usually it worked on Taiju.

Alas, Kohaku was far too clever to fall for such bluffs.

“What a brave thing to say for someone so ticklish!” Kohaku charged, putting all their training efforts into use as she tackled Nikki into the nearest tree. Once pinned, she rapidly danced her fingers up and down her sides, delighted as the taller girl squealed in mirth. “You have such a pretty laugh! Wow!”

“Shuhuhuhuush! Ahehahahhha, Koohohohoahahhahaaku!” Nikki tried to gently pry the smaller girl off, but it proved useless. Instead, she chose to slowly slide down the tree in hopes it’d guard at least one of her tickle spots. “Cuuhuhuuht thahahhat ohohohout! Aheahahha, yohohohou brahahhat! I’ihihiihihll gehhehehet yoohohohu bahahahahck”!

“Mmhmm. That’s what they all say.” Kohaku teased, wiggling a few fingers into Nikki’s neck as she shrieked.

#Candy Heart Valentine Event #chve2k24 #tickle #tickle dabble #dr stone #kohaku #nikki hanada #fluff #I wrote this platonically but it can be read how you see fit :D #the GIRLS! :D

[cringemesstickles]

Pinned

(TickleTober Day 24: Pinned)

Summary: Stu doing Stu things

Pairing: implied none but we all know they fruity asf

Word Count: 568

A/N: I’m pretty sure this is gonna be one of those fics that I brush under the rug and pretend I never created 🤠

I know, the title is so good

———————————————————

It was a seemingly ordinary evening in Woodsboro, a setting sun casting long shadows over the quiet streets.

Inside Stu’s house, where the duo usually hung out, the air was thick with tension.

Billy was sitting on the couch, staring intently at the television, absorbed in a true crime documentary. Stu observed him from the doorway of the kitchen, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

The room was ripe for some action, and Stu knew just what to do to spice things up.

He tiptoed across the floor and crouched beside the couch, barely able to contain his excitement.

With a burst of energy, he sprang into action, wrestling Billy to the couch.

The shorter of the two gasped, eyes wide with shock at the sudden movement.

Although Billy put up a pretty good fight, Stu had the height advantage, sitting on his arms to pin them down.

“Stu, what the hell, man?!” He exclaimed, voice tinged with confusion and mild annoyance.

Any question he was about to ask was quickly forgotten.

“Gotcha!” Not wasting another second, Stu’s long, nimble fingers began to dance across Billy’s ribs, causing him to shriek, though he tried to hold back his laughter, not wanting to give his friend the satisfaction.

Despite his efforts, he ended up caught in a whirlwind of cackles, kicking his legs out wildly and squirming as much as he could, desperately tugging at his arms.

“Wow, Billy, you sure are squirmy today!” Teased the taller boy, delighted by the rare sound of laughter escaping his victim’s lips.

“SHUT THE FUCK UHUHUP! LET ME GOHOHO!”

But Stu paid no mind to Billy’s protests, letting his fingers crawl up and down the boy’s sides like little spiders, weaving a web of ticklish sensations and leaving him in hysterics.

Billy squirmed and thrashed, bringing his knees up to futilely defend himself.

The inability to use his arms seemed to heighten his senses, intensifying the tingling feeling that he was helpless to fight off.

“Aww, look at you, all smiley and happy~ who knew Billy Loomis would be so freakishly ticklish? Well- I knew, of course.” The blonde teased, a smug smirk on his face as his fingers continued their dance.

He let one hand reach for one of Billy’s knees, giving it a squeeze and watching it kick out reflexively, a snort escaping the brunette.

“FUHUCK, I HAHA- HAHATE YOU!!” He screamed, bucking his hips and shaking his head, a genuine smile glued to his face.

Stu, always one for theatrics, feigned a look of hurt, not relenting in his attack.

“Now, that’s just hurtful! After all we’ve been through, I am wounded…”

Seemingly as an act of revenge, he drilled his digits under his friend’s arms, making his laughter increase tenfold.

“STAHAHA- STAHAHAHOP, YOU DICKHEHEHEAD!!”

Stu simply laughed with the shorter boy, taking pride in his handiwork.

Not wanting Billy to be TOO pissed with him, he retracted his hands and let him up, relishing in the sight of the normally composed Billy Loomis looking completely disheveled.

His usually neat hair was tousled and messy and he was heaving for breath, cheeks flushed from lack of air.

“I hate you.” He grumbled, fully aware that the words were empty.

“Bullshit. You love me~” Stu laughed triumphantly, his itch for mischief finally scratched.

And Billy, he was too tired to argue; instead, he dozed off and silently plotted his revenge.

#mess writes #tickletober2023 #tickletober #augtickletober2023 #tktober2023 #tktober #lee!billy #lee!billy loomis #ticklish!billy #ticklish!billy loomis #ler!stu #ler!stu macher #scream tk #scream tickle fic #scream tickle content #scream tk fic #scream tickle #tickle community #tword content #sfw tickling #tickles #tickle fic

[phantomram-b00]

So I realize I never did an introduction before, untillll now as spooky season is here so why not make-

Boo!

Gotcha >:) but as I was saying, I thought why not make one now, (and maybe one day I might make those meet the artist, let see)

Soooo, spooky to meet you, I’m Phantomram…BOO

Sorry had to again. But you can call me Phantom or Ram; whichever you prefer or all together, hey, the world is your oysters. Or ostrich. Just a shy yet very talkative ghost that love to talk about good omens. If you ever wanted to talk, you can just please be mindful, I am shy and not the best with conversations but I’m happy to talk. And uh, if you ever want to ask me question whether to get to know be better or ask anything about good omens, Ahh you can ask in the ask my anything box ^^ but I will reveal info here starting now!

About me:

-Age: 21 (or as my family member say, I’m old.)

-Zodiac: I’m an April Aries!

-MBTI: INFP

-🇵🇷

-height: 5’3 (I’mma fun-sized ghost)

- just to add as I wasn’t comfortable at the time but now I am, I’m autistic ^v^

My scary interest:

-GOOD OMENS! (I love this show and also the book as I’m slowly reading it. I’ve watch this back in 2019/2020? And I love it and waited when the second season came and it did and now I’m loving this show and now going to wait patiently for season 3. But for now, this is my main hyperfixation, and I can’t get enough of it. I love it. But I promise I do have other interest to so let continue 😅)

- Art/drawing/(sometimes) writing

- magic/fantasy

- music (my music taste is haha complicate.)

- books (I love them, I wish my attention span a bit better but I do love a good read.)

- horror movies

- dnd

- oversized jackets! (Specifically the one with the zippers) or trench coats.

- mythology.

- Halloween

-Broadway/Movies/Shows

Shows/movies/books/games I love:

- Good omens (love love love!)

- Little shops of horrors

- Soul eater

- Coraline (I do wanna read the book tho)

- Star Wars (I seriously still need to catch up to watch Ahsoka aahhhh! 😭)

- Transformers

- Sally Face

- Percy Jackson (haven’t finished reading but I do like it so far and I can’t wait for the show coming up)

-murder drones

- FNAF (yes I’m excited for the movie coming out, I’ve been waiting for this movie since middle school-)

- MK (mortal Kombat)

- owl house/Amphibia/ducktales/Svtfoe

-TMNT (edit: because I forgot to add this Idek how I forgot this)

And more that I can’t think of. I can’t collect them all, I’m not ash Ketchum or any Pokémon trainer. I’m just a ghost on the internet let me have this.

Four random fact about me:

- when it came to doing the MBTI test, my introvert was almost 100%.

- despite being Latine/Latinx I can’t speak Spanish to save my life 😅

- my mom once banned coraline because it was “too scary”

- I learn about zodiac because of animal crossing of all things

“Can I use the ask me anything?”/dm you?: yes! You can ^^ I know some used it (for the ask me anything at least), but if you want to ask me anything go right ahead. I’m happy to answer (almost) anything you like. As for the dm, sure, especially if you’re a mutual I have here, you can ^v^, just all I ask is please be respectful and be mindful. That literally all I ask from you :))

However what I do not allow on this page and imma make this very clear: if you are racist, homophobic, transphobic or just bottom line don’t care about humans rights or any rights at all. Please go and do fucking better and leave me and my fellow ghostly pals alone. Please and thank you very much.

‼️BOUNDRIES: please do not use my ama for donations ask as scammers are using this tactic. If you disrespect this, I will ignore or delete your ask. Please use my AMA for anything else. Any questions. Please don’t cross this boundaries ‼️

And uhh, I guess that’s all. Have a spooky Friday 🤭

#intro post #introductory post #hi 😅 #this was probably long overdue but it here now #hi tumblr #phantomram-b00 #might make a meet the artist

[buttsnorkeler69420]

HI HOWS THE ALBUM (← insane)

you know how when l(glu) was released april said this:

[image ID: a screenshot of text from a page on the song lyric website genius. it reads, "underscores said, 'Everything was too sad. I wanted to have some fun.' the text is white on a dull grey background.]

i underestimated it and i am having a TIME. um so i wrote up some thoughts i had on every song (i don't really know how to properly talk about music but i really like underscores so i am going to say things anyway haha)

(SPOILERS FOR WALLSOCKET BY UNDERSCORES BEYOND THIS POINT. content warnings for songs discussing grooming, war, suicidal ideation and transphobia.)

track 1: Cops & Robbers

i remember mentally exploding when i saw the thumbnail for this pop up on youtube. every time i hear the beginning guitar section my brain chemistry just is like... YEAHHHHHH ITS WALLSOCKET TIME!!!!!! this song just feels so so fun—the "haha gotcha" tone of it, and the speed and energy, and the part where it's like "and its full of all of your money / yEAHHH!!!"—i looped this thing so much until the other singles came out (and then i looped those. a lot.)

i love love love the bridge of this song and it gets stuck in my head all the time

track 2: Locals (Girls Like Us)

it's another underscores and gabby start banger!!!!!!! i love the songs both of these artists make and this one is no exception. immediately when the intro started i was like YEAHHH!!!! and then when the spoken "good luck" suddenly turned into that loud sample "Good Luck!" i was honestly startled enough to jump the first time i listened to it.

this is one of the songs where i don't really get the full symbolism behind everything yet (the whole horse section in the gabby part... basically gabby's entire part actually because i am not sure what the things they mention symbolize)

i really like how the repeating words mantra extends basically throughout the whole song in different ways, and the chorus is so so catchy

track 3: Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i really enjoy the wordplay underscores uses in her lyrics a lot... like how she describes a fishing lure to play into the "taking the bait" theme in the chorus (at first i was like "huh??? what colorful piece of plastic?" and then i was like OHHHHH!!!!) and how she indirectly alludes to things ("the name of my illness/is just one letter short of my own" - S*nny is five letters and i think this song is about S*nny's queer identity so the four letter word being referenced here might be LGBT??? not sure / and the "my favorite animal is engraved on the sides of my ribs" which i currently don't know the meaning of, but the person on Genius who suggested it was a reference to the creation of Eve makes a really cool point)

the transition in this song to the Patented Louder Ending Section is just soooooo soooo pretty... it gets me every time...

shoutout to this "OH" in particular.

track 4: You Don't Even Know Who I Am

originally when this song came out (both unofficially in "The Story of S*nny", then its official release), it honestly was not my favorite, but now it gets stuck in my head a lot and i don't mind at all! the singing and effects pair really well together. I also really like the intermittent beeping sounds that occasionally show up.

edit: i was lucky enough 2 be able to go to a live show and OH MY GOD was this song SOOOO cool in it. the freaking lightbulb effect is so cool when i realized what was going on with it i screamed

originally when i first started listening to this song i really liked the last loud bit but now i'm not really sure why but it's kind of off to me now? i dont know maybe something about the notes is a little weird to my ears but i still enjoy

track 5: Johnny johnny johnny

oh my god. OHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDD. this song has been stuck in my head since my first listen and will probably stay that way for the next month or so. this song is so amazing. IMMEDIATELY i was extremely intrigued by the way it opened (i had never heard of the Johnny, Johnny hand game thing before, and upon looking it up i was like OH MAN you KNOW the song is going to be mind blowing when it has LAYERS like this).

i think my first impression with this song was that it kind of reminds me a lot of underscores's MARINA covers?? like in a really good way, since i think underscores has mentioned marina as an inspiration and it's so cool seeing how many kinds of music she can make

i also love how like... expressive underscores's voice is, even in ad-libs and effects like the repeated "whoops!" in this song... it adds so much to the atmosphere and the um. growing dread as you realize what this song is about and are more and more aware of the juxtaposition between its topic and its tone. (the "johnny's gonna be the one who finally makes me real" line gets me every time in particular.... aaaaaaa)

this song's climax near the end is also just so so cool... i love how it takes a ton of elements that showed up earlier in the song and suddenly puts them all together (the "johnny johnny johnny johnny whoops" chant suddenly appearing alongside the chorus and transforming as the two are played at the same time)

track 6: Shoot to kill, kill your darlings

HIP, HIP... HOORAY!!! ough. this song. man. MAN. i am so crazy about how well this song tells a detailed story while still being catchy and fun to listen to (same with pretty much the rest of the album too haha) because that is such an impressive feat. the repeating gun sound impacts between verses are so crunchy i love them.

the line where it's like "he doesn't like what she chooses to do with her body / but he's given over his body as well / you'd think he'd get it more than anyone else"... OUGH...

this song is originally written in a very like... mostly conversational tone, but it's just so so fitting when at the end, OMB just accepts that her friend is going to go to war anyway, and to reflect this mood change, underscores just. drops all the fancy lingo and straight up repeats "I just don't want you to die" as the instrumental deteriorates. OUGH$$$))

track 7: Horror movie soundtrack

for some reason i was not expecting the banjo? guitar? notes that played in the album trailer to actually be a part of one of the songs in the actual album itself, and when that familiar tune started up, i immediately got chills and was like "OH SO WE'RE DOING THIS NOW".

god. the "you won't get away with this" being introduced as a calmer line that is mostly said like a quiet vengeful promise to becoming a big part of the crescendo is so so cool.

track 8: Old money bitch

i think this song was definitely my favorite of the singles when it came out because i could NOT stop listening to it and thinking about it when i wasn't listening to it. it is so so catchy. i didn't know where this sound would be in the album because i didn't have the tracklist memorized and it was such a gutpunch to hear it RIGHT after Horror Movie Soundtrack; we listeners just got to peek at OMB's current state of mind--her fears of losing her friend and her bitterness towards everyone except her friends and maybe "the girls"?--and then we IMMEDIATELY see that mara is bashing her on TOP of that. bonus points if mara happens to be included in "the girls"--I think this song does imply that OMB and mara were originally on good terms before their "first big fight" at a birthday party.

track 9: Geez Louise

i was NOT expecting to hear a rock/metal song from this album and i was smiling so hard when this came on. honestly surprised that i WASN'T expecting this because she makes so many different things but omg.

during my first time listening to the album, i'd remembered there was a song with a 7 minute timestamp in the trailer, but i forgot what song it was and by the time the album was over i was still waiting for the seven minute song. this song really does not feel longer than an average song to me somehow and it still feels only like three minutes every time i come back to listen to it.

i just... MAN. this song first being loud and angry and resentful, then bitter and dismissive with the "we don't have to talk about it", then suddenly transitioning into a feeling of like... an epiphany about identity in henhouse!'s part, is so so cool. the repeating "we don't have to talk about it" suddenly becomes like... an admittance of a sudden unspoken kinship. it's so... augh...

i had never heard about henhouse! before this song and after i was done with the album i immediately went searching and was shocked to only find one song... i am so excited to see more from henhouse! in the future though

track 10: Seventyseven dog years

hold on... is that the scream sample brakence uses in hypochondriac????? (maybe it just sounds similar haha)

the "do do ee oo ee oo oh oh"s in the background fading in and out are so pleasant and the crunchy texture of the drums in this one are so nice and i really like how the song transitions very nicely in and out of busy-ish loud and quiet sections

it's a little hard to hear the vocals during the louder parts but still a very cool experience!

i don't really know what the significance of dogs in this album is yet but i am curious because they've popped up a couple times (this song, the whole "ilovemydog77" password, arg and song thing)... i wonder if it has something to do with "dog" being an anagram for "god"

track 11: Uncanny long arms

ohhhhhh my god oh my god. i already knew this song was gonna be crazy because JANE REMOVER but man. i got interrupted in my first listen during the first verse of this song but i was so bewitched by the vocals that i had the chorus stuck in my head until i kept listening. another AWESOME example of how much vocals have been growing and evolving since the past albums... all the singing in here is so good and this song is just captivating.

the echoey louder part of the chorus ("and i saw that my hands were in a different place than before"/"and i woke up and felt my hands all on the carpet") transitioning into that ADDICTIVE "i can touch my toes/without bending over") is just so so pretty.

AND THEN THAT PART WHERE IN JANE'S SECTION IT DROPS OFF FROM THOSE VOCALS INTO A CRAZY EFFECTS ZONE. when the vocals suddenly break off and stutter and you suddenly honestly feel a little scared at where the song is going and then it fades gently into strings and more echoey vocals. GAH..... this album and its ability to play with my feelings...

(currently talking about this song while taking into account the current theories on genius that it is about mara realizing she has stalked S*nny so much that now she is talking to her, she has realized that she has overstretched and done something wrong (the metaphor being "waking up with long arms"), then deciding to withdraw ("getting an arm reduction").

the inlaws callback actually blew my mind when it showed up. i guess it kinda is a bit of irony in terms of the Lore... originally the lyrics of kinko's DO fit mara because she doesn't necessarily have real struggles (but yearns for S*nny's tough upbringing and struggles), but NOW she is just realizing what she has done by inserting herself into S*nny's issues and realizing she could affect them and have a huge impact for better or worse... ough...

track 12: Good luck final girl

this song feels both really cozy and mournful,,, especially the tune of the chorus and its tone... i can't decide whether "i hope you get what you deserve/that's not how this thing works" is more bitter or hopeful, but i think that's kinda the point because the description of this song says it's about the main characters realizing how they should grow up

considering there are 3 verses for our 3 main characters... i thiiink that the middle verse is most likely S*nny's (it talks about a girl down the block offering to help her, but she rejects the offer and says she doesn't need "people like that" anymore; likely referring to mara, "the girl next door" whose interactions with her were um. yeah.)

i am not sure which in the top and bottom match with old money bitch and mara... i think the last verse is OMB mostly because of the "ive postponed my suicide indefinitely" line, and also because of the sudden tone shift of the song (no more guitar, ambient noises in the background giving the feeling of being around people but feeling alone, the repeating of a final line over and over at the very end until it fades away like in Shoot to kill, kill your darlings)

um yeah. good album. good luck. wall sock er 👍

#music #underscores #wallsocket #wallsocket underscores #text post #ask #musicposting

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Maniac [04]

ー The scene starts in Kino’s room at the Ghouls’ manor

Kino: Hey, want to try some Konpeito? I’ll give you some if you want.

Yui: I suppose I’ll take one then? 

Kino: Sure. Which color would you like? 

Yui: It doesn’t matter.

Kino: Gotcha. Then, close your eyes?

Yui: Eh...?

Kino: We’ll play a game where I’ll fling one in your mouth and you have to guess which flavor it is.

Yui: Okay...Sure.

( This feels like a normal interaction. It’s kind of throwing me off. )

Kino: Come on, close your eyes.

ー Yui closes her eyes

Kino: Fufu. Now, open your mouth? 

Yui: ( ...After closing my eyes, I suddenly grew anxious. )

ー She opens her eyes again

Kino: Huh? What’s the matter?

Yui: ...I don’t need any after all.

Kino: Haah? Excuse me? I was actually being as kind as to share with you. 

Yui: You see...It’d prefer if you’d just hand it to me regularly? 

Kino: Heeh. So miss high and mighty thinks she can tell me what to do now, huh? 

Yui: T-That wasn’t my intention...

Kino: Then, hurry up.

*Rustle rustle* 

Selection

→ F-Fine... (M)

Yui: F-Fine...I’ll do it.

( I don’t want to, but I can’t go against his will... )

Kino: Well, duh? It’s not like you have another choice, do you? 

Yui: ...

Kino: Come on, hurry up.

Yui: O-Okay...

( First I have to close my eyes... )

ー Yui closes her eyes

Yui: ( Then open my mouth... )

Kino: You need to open a little wider, no? Or would you prefer for me...to part your lips by force?

Yui: No...!

Kino: Then open up wide.

Yui: Okay...

→ No! (S)

Yui: No...I said I don’t want any.

Kino: Hm...You think you’ll get away with rebelling like that?

Yui: Ugh...

( Oh no, he’ll get mad... )

I-I’m sorry. I’ll close my eyes, okay...?

ー Yui closes her eyes

Yui: ( Uu...I’m scared... )

Kino: Here it comes. ...Keep still, okay?

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Uu...

( Something entered my mouth. But this...isn’t Konpeito!? )

Kino: Ahaha! You’re pulling the weirdest face! ...Say, is my finger delicious? 

Yui: ! 

( No way...! I have to quickly move away... )

ー Yui opens her eyes again

Kino: Oh? Is it that delicious? In that case, I better push it a little deeper, don’t I?

Yui: Uu...Sto...

Kino: Heeh? But you’re making a lovely expression. Could it be that love this sorta thing? 

Yui: T-There’s no way...!

Kino: Liar. You wouldn’t be blushing if you didn’t like it. 

Yui: Y-You’re wrong...

( I want to prove him wrong, but it hurts, I can barely talk...! ) 

Kino: ...Ahーah. My finger’s all sticky now. Oh well, I suppose this was rather enjoyable. 

Yui: Coff...How could you... 

Kino: ...You’re trying to seduce me with those expressions of yours, aren’t you? You really are a bad woman.

Yui: That’s not...!

Kino: I’m not wrong. But, sure. I’ll let myself get tempted for a change.

Come on, this is what you want, don’t you? Savor it thoroughly! ーー Nnh...!

ー Kino bites her

*Rustle* 

Yui: No...!

Kino: Phew...Hahーー Nnh...It’s even...more delicious than usual...Because you’re feeling good, maybe...? 

Yui: S-Stop...No more...

Kino: ‘Stop’? ...Aah, you mean ‘more’, don’t you? You greedy girl...Nnhーー...

Yui: Ah...!

Kino: There’s not many things I actually like about you, but I’ll admit that your blood is your only redeeming factor. 

ーー So give me as much as I want, whenever I want.

Yui: That’s...!

Kino: Haha. You’re making such lovely sounds. It seems like you’re in heaven. Come on, I’ll suck from you even more. 

Yui: ( I shouldn’t enjoy this, but the place where he’s bitten me feels hot... )

( What has happened to me...? )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kino #lost eden #diabolik lovers translation #lekinomaniac4