#or even disgusting for that matter

[birbfeedersart]

not sure why everybody hates jiang cheng so much?? he's a pretty typical insecure bratty lil brother, he just looks bigger bc he lives in xianxia world and has spiritual powers and a sword :P

#he barks a lot about a lot of things #but for all the times he's threatened to break jin ling's legs he's never followed thru #bc he doesn't actually want to break jl's legs #he's just annoying and afraid to be soft #when he finds out about the golden core transfer he has to question whether he would have been able to get where he is on his own merits al #or if he owes everything to wwx #even the thing he wanted the most and would rather have died than not achieving #bc that's how important it was to him #he is by no means a perfect selfless blameless person #he's bitter and angry #but none of his behaviour is particularly surprising to me #or even disgusting for that matter #i would compare him to carver hawke from dragon age 2 #another wonderfully bratty insecure lil bro!! #little bros are brats. the more u try to protect them #the more they chafe against u #the louder they bark at u #the harder they wiggle to get out from ur arms #sometimes u have to squeeze tight (golden core transfer) and sometimes u have to let go (parting ways after guanyin temple) #if they ever grow up they'll appreciate what u did. if not?? i suppose they'll think themselves very wronged and victimised #until one day ur not there anymore #and they realise what they've lost #i just don't get why there's so much vitriol?? #like yeah he's annoying #but some ppl are really really bitter about it #it confuses me #im not a jiang cheng stan #i actually didn't like either mdzs or cql as much as i thought i would unfortunately :/ #but i don't get why there are so many jiang cheng antis??? #like??? if u don't like a character just ignore them??

[deltaruminations]

what if gaster in a future chapter calls out the audience for speculating so much about him. the guy canonically has some amount of access to Real Life Social Media. like i started this mostly as a joke but there are definitely some real metanarrative opportunities for a character with recklessly curious impulses, and possibly a fragile sense of self, having nearly limitless access to streams of debate over whether or not he’s a bastard. rude to talk about someone who’s listening etc

#this is very fast and loose character reading on my part but i do get the sense sometimes #that gaster may be asking some of the same questions of himself that we are of him. #’who are you? how should i feel about you? should i sympathize with you or be disgusted by you?’ #i said ‘call out’ in the post but i don’t even necessarily think this is a matter of anger #so much as sincere confusion and ego-shattering overwhelm #a character so wrung out by the mechanisms of audience interpretation that even he has no idea who he is anymore #and he’s looking at ​the audience who looked so hard for him and spent so much energy tearing him apart for clues or answers #and saying ‘you want to know what i am. but you seem to know that better than i do. please tell me. tell me what you think.’ #’because i want to know just as much as you do.’ #…anyway this is not real speculation. just rambling on an idea i think would be cool lol #$ waltz of a shattered man

[thissmycomingofage]

Swifties : "Joe is posting about Palestine just to make Taylor look bad!!!"

Me :

#just woke to that and laughed out loud #if you're out there caring WHY an unproblematic man is posting to raise awareness around a genocide #then you clearly have disgusting morals #because you once again only care about your fave #heck even as someone who now see everything Taylor does with cynicism #I wouldn't care (that much) about the 'why' if she finally posted about ut and made a pro palestine stance clear #the impact it would have matters a billion time more #artist: taylor swift #taylor swift #joe alwyn #actor: joe alwyn #politics #palestine #israel #meme #free palestine #oli schist!

[seph-on-an-irrational-planet]

democrats are going to be in for a surprise if they think the 80% of democratic voters who want a ceasefire are going to vote for a white house that called them repugnant and disgraceful for wanting children to stop being killed

#‘​vote blue no matter who’ feels like a slap in the face during this #and Biden has time to course correct! and yet isn’t. and podcast liberals are already crying like the election is lost already #Warren and Bernie folding like paper towels. democrats as a whole abandoning Rashida Tlaib #Cori Bush continues to be the coolest person out of St. Louis #god I feel like clawing my eyes out #god that woman who lost 65 MEMBERS OF HER FAMILY in Gaza and Warren can’t even meet her eyes #disgusting

[northern-passage]

i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself

in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)

which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.

and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….

there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.

#anyways. is this anything #sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble #especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me #cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness #is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention #also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers #that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it #that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding #and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷 #and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically #as in it's only good representation if it represents Me #which sucks. and you're never going to please those people #ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird #this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times #and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project #personal

[mllenugget]

Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────

#idk why on earth i gave baghera knuckles- when i say i turn my brain off when I draw i mean it #i only noticed it after i was done with the shading and it jumpscared me #got me stuttering in confusion i have never drawn anthro arms/wings this way these dont even look like feathers wtf me ?? #..... sooo looks like ive got a new wa-cats type of fandom on my hands #as in i am still very emotionally attached to the memories i have from this no matter what i do itll keep coming back #but i havent read the books in several years nor do i plan to anymore and looking back i am so angry and disgusted #but also im still blown away by the creativity and the passion the fandom builds on its own #i wanted to go ahead and finish any art that ive been working on for the past almost year and decided this one would be the most fitting #i learnt last week that only the first 20 tags on an original post will show up in tumblr searches #and I think im going to take advantage of that #because i dont want to hype the server anymore and i have decided i will no longer be adding my watermark on top of my work #and i was going to refrain from tagging it because i dont want my related posts to show up #before remembering that some of my mutuals who ive been chatting to for years now #have these fandoms blacklisted #so im going to test it and hope it works #im still going to tag the characters i love though because i wanna show support to the actors and i wish them nothing but the best #baghera fanart #pomme fanart #dapper fanart #dappleduo #my art #mcyt #qsmp #fandom neg #tag this however you want #yap yap yap yap tlddr

[bilesproblems]

This month is Black History Month so I want to give a shout-out to all the Black mspec lesbians! Queer history wouldn't be what it is without black people, and the whitewashing of queerness is so disgusting when black queer people have been a huge part of our community and led many of the fights for our rights! And it's even more unfortunate when your own community, the lesbian community, turns on you and uses the terms (nonman and nonwoman) that were used to degender you and other black people as a way to prove your identities are not "real" or "valid." Black bi lesbians, Black pan lesbians, Black poly lesbians, Black omni lesbians, Black abro lesbians, and all Black lunians, you're amazing. You matter so much to this community. We wouldn't be the same without you.

#black history month #blacklivesmatter #black lives matter #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian #mspec lesbian safe #bi lesbian safe #mspec lesbian positivity #bi lesbian positivity #I'm so sorry I didn't make this post earlier #black people will always be a part of our community #it's frankly disgusting that the lesbian community uses racist terms to argue against good faith identities #and even worse when they're using them when arguing against actual black people. that were degendered using those terms #blm #bhm

[pickled-flowers]

Saw some of the grossest parenting today in the bus

#this dad was on his phone the whole bus ride ok #and his two kids were screaming arguing #at most he would periodically tell them to lower their voice while still on his phone #one time he told them to stop the one sitting next to him hit him 😭 and he went back to look at his phone with no reaction #my guy something is seriously wrong with you #your kids are screaming at each other doesn't even matter all that much that we are in the bus rn #theyre not just being loud kids you need to do smt!!!!!! its too early for this!!! i could hear them even with my noise cancelling headphone #anyways #ive never seen smt like this #and i work in a mall i see lots of parents and kids #idk smt really disgusting about a parent just not even interested in engaging with their kids #dude no wonder they're loud they probably want ur attention #also this one lady once who came in wjth a big stroller #and the store where i work has little moving rooms between the aisle so this woman decided TO LEAVE THE STROLLER WITH A KID INSIDE AT THE #FRONT OF THE STORE #the kids started crying and his hrother (toddler not in the stroller but not following the mom for some reason) started exploring and i #i had to watch them until the mom came back but like the woman just left them there??? #i just stepped in but what if i hadnt??? lady????????? #i see lots of cute interactions of course #like this little girl who came with who i think is her grandpa and he asked me to help her chose her next manga read 😭💖 #i basically work in a book/toy store #theres a lot of candy as well the kids love it #idk i like seeing kids being happy ok it is healing #like all the kids sitting on the floors deep in their books while the parents shop 😭😭😭 makes me smile every time top tier behavior

[bittersweetresilience]

it feels cosmically unfair that i think about writing all the time want to write all the time and sit down to write all the time and i come up with two sentences at best. there should be some reward system i think

#RAAAAAAAAAA #the thing is i know why i'm stuck it's because i get overly wrapped up in meaningless details of word choice and sentence structure #and i need every word to be perfect before i can move on to the next and that just creates an interminable cycle of being so slow to #progress i feel like even more like a failure and imperfect and respond by being even more intense about it #in spite of the fact that almost no reader is going to look at my work and go hey nice i noticed you used a word with an aesthetically #pleasing number of letters here as opposed to a word ending in t which would have ruined the flow and disgusted me forever #but it's not about the readers i'm the one who reads it and gets disgusted forever #and i know this does not matter but it feels like there is no conceivable way i could write something without it being perfect first try #fucking hilariously i edited the tags of this post for a good ten minutes because the spacing of the words was bothering me so i had to #find words with different lengths as replacements #RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #anyway i'm doing wonderfully #this is about soulmate au i think maybe because it's so important to me i'm especially perfectionistic over it right now #brain can you stop it i'm on my hands and knees #also t is the worst letter invented hands down. no question.

[zlobonessa]

one aspect that always fascinates me about the witch cult is how much they are used-to-be humans-but-now-not-really-are. they were just people who sometimes were good in the way people are and sometimes were bad in the way people are. and then their lifes had been altered by powers so fundamentally that they just. lost touch with any humanity that they had. how do you comprehend being a hundreds years old? how do you comprehend being able to kill a human as simply as a mosquito? how do you comprehend being beyond time, beyond aging, beyond life and death, beyond your own body, beyond your own memories? it's a horror scenario accepted willingly, horror where instead of running from monster you shake its hand and convince yourself that that's all you ever wanted, because the alternative? the alternative is the existence so miserable you'd rather die than go back. the existence that may ask you to take responsibility for your actions, navigate your own life, change who you are as a person.

they cannot do that. they never could do that. they live for years and years, having powers to do literally anything and yet led by instructions in the book, further and further conservating in the state they were from a start, the moment they took a deal.

doomed from the beginning. never having a chance to escape. never wanting to escape, instead allowing your humanity to slowly seep away as a price for not bearing the weight of that it means to be human. damn.

#re zero #sorry for being barely comprehensible myself i just think about this. a lot. #like the sheer fact that all of them lived either literally or technically (lye) for thousands years #and yet they still hold grudges for stuff that happened lifetimes ago #never progressing never changing despite the fact that their whole life is now technically about Progression To The Goal #to do more work! (nobody except petelgeuse actually cares about the cult goals on the personal level) #to collect more names! (there are never gonna be enough names) to collect more wives! (same thing here) #to be loved by someone who could never love you back because he stucks in his own role and unreachable goal #to be loved by everybody even though you are completely disgusting by your own volition #none of this matters but hey if you convince yourself that it does it doesn't suck so bad! #and if you admit that it doesn't then the only option is to ask yourself what am i doing here actually! and you not gonna love the answer! #well i sure am talking A LOT about them. sorry. #also that's the part where i'm slowly pointing at regurein- [I'm shot at the back of the head] #[my bloodied hand still draws “I'm a monster who hunts monsters” in sand tho]

[soldier-poet-king]

Need more stories abt middle aged and old people finding love & patnerships. Tbh. Like obvs there is so much more to life and it's not important in the grand scheme of things and like most days I am thinking of bigger and better things but also I love romance and if I am not properly kissed at least once in my life like. What.

#the duality of fran #DONT LOOK AT ME I'M CRINGE #oh mitski we're really in it now #not really. we interrupt my exsitential rambles about the human soul (good) #to briefly pine and be selfish (bad) #i will return to the good shortly #i would just. be so good at love. at specifically that kind ofkf love and devotion #i am. so devoted. so all consuming in my heart. so loyal and intense and wonderful #yeah i have. a lot of problems and fears and insecurities. maybe so #and i crave touch the same way i fear it. like a kicked dog. my family is not affectionate #and YET #ugh disgusting. yknow that richard siken line. u know the one #anyway. back to things that matter. have to dig out my crochet hooks tonight #i swear im gonna get this mfing beanie done over the holidays #since i cant knit anymore bc rsi #i need to do SMTHN good #i cant just embroider even if its pretty #i need to create For Others #bread and roses. but lately ive been just roses #marry me. qpr me. smthn. idc just SMTHN #blegh. dont look at me

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[gilgil-machine]

I wish some people never had access to internet at all...

TW assault, TW r*pe

#this is one of the main reasons why I don't get into the fandom that much and just stay in my own personal bubble #I already have a bad relationship with gilturia and I just can't see those two together without having a bad taste in my mouth #despite the fact there's a lot good art with those two #and I know that not all gilturia shippers are like that #and I understand that most of them ship those two because they just look aesthetically pleasing and look good together but still... #I can't just look calmly at those two especially knowing their background and how Gilgamesh actually treats her #and honestly because of such moments sometimes I feel disgust towards Gil (obviously) but I also feel disgust towards myself #for liking such terrible character #and honestly I fear that someday because of such moments I would stop liking him or even start to hate him #but I don't want that because despite his negative traits he still is well written and very deep character that has a lot of layers to him #plus he helped me to get thought a lot of hardships especially after these past two years throughout which I got attached to him even more #and his quote that he said to Hakuno ''No matter what adversity you face there's no other way for you but forward'' #cheered me up a lot of times #sorry for the rant #I just had this things building up in my chest and these tweets just made me kinda snap #my ramblings #personal

[lambjock]

i have too many thoughts on the deleted jackienat scene for a girl who's supposed to be enjoying her birthday lol. i think at the root of it all, it's highly likely that when the actresses breathed life into the characters, and scenes got improvised, some things just stopped making sense for characters to do. including good things, like with jackie's 'i love you' to shauna! and i think this is the case for natalie looking at jackie with hatred before leaving her out in the cold. maybe at one point in her early stages of characterization it made sense, but clearly the people on the show didn't think that way anymore at some point, hence the cut. also ngl people taking this deleted scene, which for all we know didn't even make it into the final script, as some sort of 'gotchu' for jackienat enjoyers ( romantic or otherwise ) is weird as hell to me. like, it was removed for a reason.

#my posts. #yellowjackets #im tired and its my birthday so maybe this doesnt make much sense but #i have lots of thoughts i cant stop thinking abt this scene #a mix of good and bad tbh #but mostly watching people act as if this completely destroys jackienat is hilarious to some degree #since a huge part of their appeal has always been how similiar they are. that's what jackienat is founded on #and with that similarity comes a hatred especially since both girls have a self loathing streak #so regardless whether people view this as a huge characterization moment for nat or not doesn't change this #people seem to forget how much natalie genuinely hated lottie and was jealous of her as well! it doesn't mean she loved her any less #natalie at her core is a teenage girl like the rest of them. she has flaws and pettiness and does things she regrets. a *lot* #but on the other hand she'd do anything for travis. that's who she lives for. and the only one who helped her save him was jackie #jackie might've stolen him away for the night but the others were gonna take him away forever #which is something natalie would hate more than jackie fucking him. hell in the show she even says she could care less about the sex #she just wanted travis to be *alright.* #had natalie been in the cabin when jackie was calling the girls out for what they did last night you KNOW she would've sided with her #would she have cared about the highschool drama between shauna and jackie? who knows. #but no matter her personal feelings on jackie they had a mutual hatred and disgust for what happened during doomcoming #and i think that would've mattered more to nat at the time. in a swarm of angry feral teenagers the only one she could trust then was jacki #of course these are just my personal opinions which im purposefully keeping brief lol #but like. i just have too many thoughts on this it would take an essay to iron them out so here's this i guess!