#or like. now that I have a bf should I stop???

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not sharing my tic tacs

This sounds ridiculous plus please bear with me. I (22f at the time) and my then bf (22m) used to work together in a warehouse and then we’d take the same bus home after work but he would get off and transfer to a different bus after a couple stops to get to his home.

One day while we were waiting for the bus and it was taking a while he said he was hungry as he had forgotten his lunch at home (warehouse work is kinda physical so it’s def important to eat during the day). He had gotten something from the vending machine during break but not really enough to be filling. I had just taken out a box of tic tacs and put a couple in my mouth before he said this. He asked if he could have a few and I said yea sure. Then he asked if he could eat all of them and I said no, just have a few.

He was upset by this saying we’re dating so we should share things. I said there’s no reason to eat the entire box of tic tacs because they won’t help you feel full so it’s just a waste to eat them all at once instead of savouring them. We argued about this for a little while before he dropped it. His friend was sitting next to us but not saying anything if that’s important.

He got quiet when we got on the bus and instead of sitting next to me like he normally does he sat a few seats away (we were at the back most seat of the bus where it’s like 5 in a line and I sat by one window and he sat by the opposite window). I moved next to him but left a seat between us and asked him what was wrong, he just said nothing and didn’t want to talk really. He said bye and got off at his normal stop but I was kinda confused still why he was so upset over tic tacs.

For added context, I’m bisexual and I got those tic tacs at the first ever pride parade I had attended earlier that month so I was kinda trying to make them last for as long as possible but he didn’t really understand their significance to me.

Also, sometimes I would by a drink from the vending machine at work before walking to the bus stop and he’d always want a sip, but sometimes he’d just grab it and not give it back (kinda in a teasing way but also just annoying).

Also this happened almost two years ago now and we broke up right after this (because of this) but are still friends.

I just want to know, was I the asshole for not giving him all of my tic tacs when he was hungry even tho it wouldn’t have really satisfied him, or was I not because they’re mine and they were somewhat significant to me and it felt like he just expected me to share.

#aita #am i the asshole

[blarshwritezz]

Yandere psychopath boyfriend x male reader. You discover that your boyfriend killed people and try to leave the forest where he lived, but you end up being caught by him. He decides to punish you through the bed with rough sex and overstimulation

I fw this

Yandere Psychopath bf x Reader

M yan x M reader

TW - general yandere behavior, NSFW, murder, noncon

Your boyfriend has always been...strange, but you never expected this. You thought he just liked nature, and that was why he lived in a cabin in the woods. You thought he liked the peace, like you did. That he just enjoyed growing his garden and living practically entirely off the grid. The seclusion...that was a better way to put it.

You couldn't look at him the same since you saw it. Since you saw him killing someone in cold blood. He had the nerve to act so lovingly to you when he did something like that.

You couldn't get it out of your mind. The way that poor man's blood covered him, the pool of red standing the grass and seeping into the dirt. The way he chopped up his victim and stuffed the bits into a bag. The bag he used for his fertilizer.

You clearly weren't safe. You had to leave.

One night, while he was asleep, you snuck out and ran. You ran like your life depended on it. Because it did.

You didn't make it far. A trap. He had traps set up all over the place. A large net caught you, forcing you off the ground. You struggled to get out, but your adrenaline eventually wore off.

You didn't know how long it was until he came along, holding a bloody knife. "Aw, darling, were you trying to get out? I guess that means you know my nasty little secret, huh?"

He cut you out of the net, not giving you a second to even try running before he grabbed you by the scalp and dragged you back, kicking and screaming. "You should know you aren't allowed to run. I'm gonna have to punish you now."

Getting back to the cabin, he forced you upstairs and threw you on the bed. Before you could scramble to get away, he once again grabbed your scalp and forced you to kiss him, shoving his tongue down your throat.

His free hand, still holding the knife he had, cut your clothes off. He finally discarded the knife and started to roughly jerk you off.

He only broke the kiss when you were practically suffocating. "You think you can run away from me, huh? Think you can just leave?" He roughly bit into your shoulder, licking up the blood he drew. "No, I don't think so. You're mine. All fucking mine."

Letting go of your head, he shoved two of his fingers down your throat. "Suck."

When he was satisfied, or tired of it, he yanked out his fingers, only to suddenly shove them deep inside your hole. He stretched you wide, getting your insides nice and wet before suddenly replacing his fingers with his cock.

He didn't waste a second to start pounding into you like a wild beast. He bit you more, leaving bleeding marks all across your shoulders, neck, collarbone, and chest.

"Thought you could get away with trying to leave me, huh?" A harsh smack echoed through the room as he spanked you. "Think you're too good for me or something?" And another. "You're mine." Another. "And I'm going to fuck it into you until you can't even walk out of this room."

He continued to thrust into you, hitting against that special spot harder and harder. He didn't stop, not for a second.

Even when you came, the first time of many that night, he only got rougher.

He didn't give a second of rest, and he wasn't going to. Not until he made you a moaning, sobbing, drooling mess begging for his forgiveness. Then he'd go back to the loving and gentle boyfriend you knew. But only once he was sure you understood not to leave him.

I feel like the end was a bit rushed tbh

#blarsh writes #yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #male yandere #male x reader #anon ask #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere x male darling #x male reader #male reader #male x male #male yandere x you #male yandere x male reader #male yandere x reader #male y/n

[wintfleur]

ꔫ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ BABES IN BAHAMAS! — Stella Hughes AU!

au masterlist - you can find everything under #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes!

°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!

﹕─┈ pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X Rutger McGroarty )

°. — summary ( Stella and rut in the Bahamas )

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I def want to write a small blurb for them and there trip !!! )

°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )

stellahughes

liked by _willsmith2, g.brindley4, _alexturcotte and others

🏷️ rutgermcgroarty

🎵Pink + White - Frank Ocean

stellahughes; sorry guys but I’m never leaving 🐚

view all 4,361 comments

📍 rutgermcgroarty the beach ? the bed ? me ?

stellahughes all of above 💋

username HE TOOK HER TO THE BAHAMAS??? 😭

username I think her favorite color is pink . . just a guess

username the shells are everything :(

username Rutgers comment and her response stop I can’t 😫😭

Lilybaileys where’s the bikini pics you promised bbg 😮‍💨

stellahughes check ur dms 🫣

carmenbarlowe THAT CAKE IS STUNNING

stellahughes IT WAS DELICIOUS OMG 🤤

colecaufield not you posting a surf board when we all know you refuse to surf 🤔

stellahughes rut pushed me around on it and it matched my bikini :(

username I wanna be her so bad

username2 I wanna be Rutger so bad 😍

username REALLL

jackhughes going to the Bahamas with your bf while your brother is home struggling from a shoulder surgery is BARBARIC 😑

stellahughes ‘struggling’ hmm sure, Luke has been keeping me updated . . . Mr I can’t stay still.

jackhughes I DONT CARE COME BACK 😡

edwards.73 she’s a mermaid your honor 🧜🏼‍♀️

markestapa we have to watch aquamarine when she comes back

stellahughes DEAL SOLD ‼️

_quinnhughes should have taken me with you guys.

stellahughes YOU HAVE A CUP TO WIN SIR ⁉️⁉️

rutgermcgroarty Next time q!

jackhughes lol imagine being a third wheel @/_quinnhughes

_quinnhughes at least they want me there @/jackhughes

rutgermcgroarty 😦

luca.fantilli wanna play mermaids 🤓 ??

stellahughes I’m Emma ur Cleo 🫵

username imagine going on vacation instead of supporting your brothers…

username she’s such a pick me

elblue6 🩵

trevorzegras why didn’t you tell me YOU WERE LEAVING THE COUNTRY ???

stellahughes i didn’t know until we got to the airport 🤗

trevorzegras . . . bring me back some seashells.

lhughes_06 please come back, I can’t deal with Jack anymore

stellahughes and you think I want to ??

lhughes_06 WE HAVE PLAYED CHESS 6 TIMES TODAY ?!?!

rutgermcgroarty

liked by cuttergauthier_, franknazar14, gabeperreault44 and others

🏷️ stellahughes

rutgermcgroarty; my girl

comments have been limited

stellahughes ‘my girl’ SORRY THE MOAN I LET OUT

carmenbarlowe STELLA ?

stellahughes 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 🛌 👌🏻👈🏻🤰🏻

carmenbarlowe PUT THE PHONE DOWN

rutgermcgroarty 🧑‍🧑‍🧒🩷 @/stellahughes

carmenbarlowe no no no

stellahughes Alexa play the boy is mine by Ariana Grande 🥰

stellahughes I love you stud 🩷

rutgermcgroarty I love you pretty girl 🩷

lhughes_06 BRING MY SISTER BACK NOW PLEASE

lhughes_06 I TAKE BACK MY APPROVAL

lhughes_06 THIS HAS TO BE KIDNAPPING IN SOME WAY?

luca.fantilli the babes in the bahamas 😍

colecaufield YOU CANT SURF STELLA

stellahughes STOP BEING SUCH A HATER 😡

elblue6 my beautiful daughter 🩵

stellahughes love you mama 🩵

carmenbarlowe not you stealing my job as Stella photographer 😑

rutgermcgroarty what can I say, she prefers me 😏

jackhughes THATS MY SHIRT STELLA ⁉️

jackhughes you klepto 😒

jackhughes UMM WHY DOES SHE HAVE NO TOP ON HUH ???

rutgermcgroarty she’s in her mermaid era 🧜🏼‍♀️

_quinnhughes you look so pretty sissy 🤍

stellahughes I miss you :(

Lilybaileys damnn bbg can I have your number??? 😮‍💨

rutgermcgroarty SHES TAKEN 📵

Lilybaileys RUTGER CAN YOU FIGHT??

rutgermcgroarty I CAN AND I WILL

markestapa pookie is enchanting

stellahughes stopp it 🤭 (keep going)

jacob_truscott20 hurry back children

rutgermcgroarty yes dad

Lilybaileys omg bbg need you so bad 😵‍💫

rutgermcgroarty READ THE CAPTION YOU FREAK

rutgermcgroarty added to their story!

🎵 ordinary girl - Kate Alexa

[caption1: I think she loves the water now 🩵] [caption2: she fell 2 seconds after I took this pic]

edwards.73 reacted with 🧜🏼‍♀️

_quinnhughes reacted with 🤍

stellahughes replied to your story ‘Iysm but you did not have to expose me like that 🙁’

lhughes_06 reacted with 😒

stellahughes added to their story!

[caption: take me back 🤍 @/rutgermcgroarty]

carmenbarlowe reacted with 🦶🏻

Lilybaileys reacted with 😝

adamfantilli reacted with ❌

edwards.73 reacted with 👅

g.brindley4 reacted with 🤩

nick_moldenhauer reacted with 😮‍💨

dylanduke25 reacted with 💋

tyler__duke5 reacted with 🦶🏻

luca.fantilli replied to your story ‘For freeeee 🤑🤑’

stellahughes replied with ‘I CANT STAND YOU GUYS’

lhughes_06 replied to your story ‘no I refuse your staying with me’

jackhughes reacted with 👎🏻

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( can you guys tell I was struggling with the comments 🙁 gosh I love them mhm )

°. — taglist ( @toasttt11 @lovings4turn @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs )

#👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes! #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨👩🏻‍🎨୧˚ stella hughes au! #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut! #💌stellahughes! #hockey #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl insta edit #rutger mcgroarty au #rutger mcgroarty fluff #rutger mcgroarty imagine #rutger mcgroarty #rutger mcgroarty x reader #hughes!sister #hughes sister #umich x reader #umich imagine

[sonderrealization]

Hmmmmmmore vampire boyfriend please-

sorry this took so long to get to !! I'm very sporadic in my writings here :')

but anyway, here's a little NSFW scenario with him that goes deeper into the first time he tastes your blood. GN reader, no anatomy specified.

CW: oral (receiving), blood and blood drinking, period mention, arousal drunk vampire idk.

vampire boyfriend who, when he finally, finally gets to taste you, can't hold back.

he wouldn't dare do anything without your consent, but the moment you make it clear he can do as he likes, he's on you. lapping from the wounds he'd made on your neck, his hands reaching under clothing to touch your bare skin.

"you're....far too alluring for your own good, my dear." he breathes out, his fangs seemingly longer as he feels your reaction to his touches. "i-is that right?" you'd reply meekly, letting out small whimpers as you writhe under his ministrations... his hands soon moved to strip you bare of any clothing, how much your heart was pumping from his doing was driving him mad. nothing could get between him and his darling now, right?

"pesky cloth...always getting in the way." he'd hiss, making his way between your thighs, leaving trails of bite marks as he grew closer to your arousal. "you can't get any more divine, it's.... unbelievable, truly." even if you protested, if it became too much for your body to handle, he's far too deep to stop now.

"let me just...have my fill of you." he chuckled darkly, using his mouth where it belonged, teasing and pleasuring you like no mortal man could. his tongue was quick and touching just the right places, your arteries on either side of his head only egged him on... as did the song of bliss you sang. nobody else was allowed to hear, yes? nobody. "o-oh please, i- h-haah, just.. a little more, I'm so close-" you'd cry, and tug at his hair, and god did he love it when you did that.

your hands tangled in his hair, so desperate for release had him harder than he'd ever been, and once you finally, finally felt the snap of release, he took all he could get. swallowing it all, lapping up anything he was able to take. he'd look up for approval, a silent question of if he was good enough. well... of course he was. how many men can make someone to cum with their mouth alone? but he wouldn't stop there. no, no, of course not. he'd have you writhing, begging, convulsing and screaming his name over and over, until he felt satisfied. "sorry, darling. I just can't get enough, you can give me one more...and I'll let you go." he'd pant, knowing he'd be coaxing more than one more orgasm out of you. he was addicted to the way you sounded, the way you moved, the taste... oh, the taste. god forbid you're on your period, he'd never be leaving from between your thighs.

he was one who enjoyed pleasing you so much that undoubtedly he'd soiled his pants, cumming without even the faintest of touches.

and don't forget about the aftercare!! he'd be running you a bath filled with soothing perfumed oil and bath salts, staying as close as you'd want, neverending praises spewing from his mouth. "you did so, so good for me, darling. I know, I know, you're tired. but I'll take care of you to the end." he'd even cook you a meal and personally feed it to you, anything you'd want, he'd make it happen.

-------------------

AN: and that's that for now, I hope this wasn't too badly written ;-; I haven't done something like this in a while so don't blame me too much...

should I give Vampire BF a name now, since he's become a frequent flyer? I'm open to suggestions if you guys have any.

#vampire bf #vampire x human #vampire fanfiction #vampire #vampire boyfriend #vampire oc #vampire character #vampire x reader #vampire oc x reader #vampire original character #vampire fiction #teratophillia #terato #monster bf #monsterfucker #monster x human #monster boyfriend #sonder writes

[sbc-moved]

Hmmnbmmmmmm. I have some things to say

#I am in. a bit of a weird position rn? #ik there are plenty of self shippers who have partners irl I just. I don’t really? get it?? #like I feel very guilty about it? #or like. now that I have a bf should I stop??? #self shipping has always been a big comfort for me but obviously I am putting a lot more energy into my actual relationship #but like. do I still make art? do I still write fics? is that disrespectful to him? idk #he has characters he has crushes on too but it’s different because he doesn’t have an entire blog dedicated to how much he loves them #idk I just don’t rlly know how to balance the two? #is it normal to fantasize about being in a relationship with a fictional character when you actually have a partner????? #I was never really expecting to date again so this isn’t something I’ve thought a lot about #idk #♡.bullet proof heart

[storfulsten]

‘

#bombeep #whittyxbf #idk what's going on #or what whitty's grumpy about or whatever #or why bf insists on putting his hands on whitty's general face area once again #for some reason he just won't stop touching the bomb idk why #probably convenience and lack of creativity for much else lol #comparatively whitty almost never puts his hands on bf's head or face they're usually somewhere else lol #maybe I should change it up at some point ha ah well #anyways as far as this art goes #honestly don't like it much #especially bf's whole head idk it feels off ha #but it's something made in like the last couple days at least #trying to get back into the swing of things lol #so yeah it's something so gonna have to be good enough for now I suppose #so ye hopefully maybe someone will enjoy it anyways idk ah well #enjoy or don't #take it or leave it #whatever floats your boat #fnf #fnf au #fnf shipping #friday night funkin #boyfriend #whitty #bf #I draw what I want

[non-un-topo]

Considering taking a week off to try and get some energy back

#but i'm not sure if a break will make me worse. hmm.. #i have so many projects i want to work on but my brain is just... congested and dull. no inspiration and no new ideas come out #i've been out of school for a few weeks now and i don't think i've relaxed at all. like i'm so exhausted i can barely get up the stairs #not sure exactly what's going on but i'm also dealing with other people's stressors in life rn and it's very overwhelming #i really just want to draw and write now that i have the time but i can't create anything... #hoping that after tonight i'll start to feel better. the build-up waiting for the stressful event is always the worst. #i just wish Things would stop happening? it's relentless and utterly exhausting at this point. i can't even begin to recap..... #being p much the sole supporter of a friend who is going through tragedy after tragedy while i had my own family tragedy and school #at the same time has really been....... not fucking great. in fact i'm very close to getting her bf's number so i can yell at him #to get his ass back over to canada to fucking help his girlfriend during possibly the worst time of her life. he should be here. period. #so i'm going to dinner. i'm going to help her and listen to her unload for the day because i love her. and then i'm going to sleep #for 12 hours

[oatbugs]

they r soooo. anyway

#lol um anyway . i kissed them for the first time yesterday but it literally feels like a yr ago but it also feels like today #on a bridge at night against a cityscape. river looked like a painting...etc it was nice . and then. yh theres a lot to talk abt #so i dont wanna say it all rn bc im tired but yeah. they r . sooo. pretty cool etc etc. whatever im fine im just . angry that i dont get to #see them that often bc they live in a diff city etc. also took them to a spot which usually is like . relatively busy bc london is busy all #the time but it was cold and it was at night so there were like 0 people there. the view was so good but other things were better #also kissing smn w a vertical labret is actually just >>> #lol en ee way i miss them #im soo overwhelmed w life rn and theyre not rly helping but like. in a good way #i told my friend to lmk if he notices that im becomjng too engaged w romance to the point where im neglecting academics #and he immidiately said it. like according to him im thinking abt her too much when i should be thinkint abt philosophy too much #which is like. idk if that's true bc ik he has a rly skewed perspective bf he kind of swore off datint #etc but at the same time . wbat if hes right. omg. but also let me have this Moment #that was last week when i was forcefully taken to manchester by a university society . like we hadnt even kissed yet #i fell asleep bc ive been so exhausted and when i woke up i realised they briefly appeared in a dream i had #and then i started tearing up out of Fear bc like . whenever ive lost smn i loved the dreams were the worst #like . good dreams. were horrible. and now its like what if this turns out horrible ? but i dont wanna self sabotage bc i rly rly rly like #them . i gave them a rose and on the train home i could stop staring at their hands holding the rose #and i know theyve liked me for months and i know theyve been waiting for months but somehow its still like #what if it just fades. whatever happens happens ig. i took them a leaf compressed in a poetry book from #a book shop we found on our second date tgth. they gave me a necklace w a small vial and a tiny flower inside #its so pretty. thinking abt the way they put it on me + when they wrapped their arms around me when i was cooking for them etc etc #im FINE its FINE its OKAY . whatever !!!!! #[chroma blue]

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Wow okay the whole "laughing while crying" thing doesn't happen unless things have gone especially pear shaped huh

#my roommate disappeared like 5 days ago??? she was with her bf and said the nasty weather was stopping her from driving home #ive been feeding her dog + the guinea pig she's pet sitting and this morning. there were ants in the dog's food bowl #legitimately cant take this anymore I'm messaging my landlord about alternative rooms on my next day off #ive worked 4 days in a row and have today and tomorrow still and. the being alone would be fantastic if #i hadnt been wordlessly handed someone else's responsibilities + have to wonder when they'll be back #I'm reaching out on my way to work today but like. also it's not my job to ask if you're coming back or what i should do with the pets #you can reach out too!! you can ALSO communicate!! I'm just. i think I'm also having an illness flare up and ive been EXHAUSTED #i woke up so tired this morning and yesterday i was really dizzy for a lot of the day too U_U #i havent touched their dishes!! there's been dishes in the sink for so long!! and a baking tin from the oven with tinfoil #they just. took it from the oven and put it on the stove (reasonable) and then. never cleaned it up #i just. am at my limits and can see that now 👁👁 #hoatm rants

[gibbearish]

vent

#had an issue a while ago where my bf was leaving his dirty clothes in piles on the floor which is fine except when the piles #are kept in the same room as the litterbox and the cat takes that as a cue to start pissing in piles of clothes #so i told him he couldnt do it anymore he said ok and then a bit later i caught the cat right as he was abt to piss in said clothes again #and when i was like 'hey i said you cant do this it can ruin your clothes if it gets left there' and he was like 'oh yeah i know but it's #my clothes so that's a risk i just decided to take' which uhhhh No????? no in so many ways????????? #but i didnt process how wack that is at the time so i just moved on and was like 'no but for real you cant do this anymore like not #a suggestion like legit This Cannot Continur Happening bc the end of this road is that the cat learns pissing in clothes piles is #ok whenever he wants' which did actually get him to stop but that was apparently enough learning time for mr carrot #we've had a few issues with it not toooo bad but its definitely been getting steadily more frequent #anyways guess whose electric blanket got pissed in today bc he left it in a pile on the floor and taught the cat its ok to piss in those #im having trouble giving a shit about it in the ways i should #like. idc that the blanket is maybe ruined #when he bought it he said it was for both of us but its just his so like idc but what i AM feeling is mad at him #cause like. i told him not to #and i shouldn't have HAD to tell him not to‚ 'the cat is pissing in my clothes so i will make it no longer possible for that to happen' #should be a no brainer i cannot imagine going 'welp i guess if it happens it happens' ITS PISS IN YOUR CLOTHES SITTING STALE FOR #WHO KNOWS HOW LONG and now we have to be hypervigilant abt Any Fabric Ever and who knows if itll escalate even further #hes already escalated from exclusively floor fabric to pissing in MY clothes that i was keeping on a table #like. the next stop is obviously couches/beds but like once they learn something its real hard to train them not to #and im just. frustrated that this is just gonna be yet another thing i have to deal with all the time when he shouldve just #Not Decided It Was Fine For The Cat To Piss In His Clothes In The First Place Hello?????!!! #but i also feel bad bc i feel like im holding a grudge about something small but i also Cant Let It Go #usually when the thing im mad abt is something insignificant its annoying for a bit then i let go but im just like !!!!!! what the fuck!!!! #idk. whatever #its his problem now idk how to get the heating psrt separate from the blanket part so i just sprayed some urine enzyme #on it and he can figure out wtf to do with in once he gets home in like two hours #and if thats too long and the smell gets baked in. oh well i guess #he hasnt been able to smell since we got covid anyways so like. its whatever i guess he can stew in a cat piss blanket if he wants #but i also cant tell if this is just a side effect of my General Irritability over the last few months and i really am mad abt nothing #ESPECIALLY because i keep saying it doesnt really directly effect me at this point then its like ok why are you so mad abt it then

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

so mom did her car ambush lecture thing while driving me to the mechanic and once again it's done the exact opposite of motivate me to clean or anything because shockingly getting called disgusting and a liar by your mother and told you're making everyone miserable isn't very motivating!

#she lectured me about not saving money when I've been trying to and now i gotta start from square one bc it all went to my car #she got on me for trying to set up a tattoo appointment telling me i should save up to move out then i can go get tattoos #like too bad I've already give them money for a deposit and I intend on getting an appointment so like die mad about it #'you have to unplug your mini fridge bc the electric bill is $600' damn i guess your lil bf should stop leaving lights on! #like it was all the dumbest shit and so counterproductive #calling me a hoarder then telling me i need to get rid of stuff in the same breath like it doesn't run in our family #and isn't actually helped by just throwing stuff out #especially when I'd been gathering stuff to donate to local thrift when my car died! #but now I'm just shutting down and feeling shitty which doesn't exactly encourage me to clean or organize anything #personal

[bloodyethanol]

goodnight ignore tags i am ok night night

#LITERALLY stop reading thisbbitch right bownlikenakakakakalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalaallalroooringaaaaruwaitsumademooooootodokanaaaaa #no matter how happy you feel or whatever this household is literally cursed and no matter how much i love my parents they have ruined me #i highly dislike what they've become. it feels like whatever idealized version of them i love is just hanging by a thread if not completely #gone #my mom is a suicidal mess of manipulation and my dad is a stupid abusive alcoholic #both are horrible in their own ways #my mom cant stay home at night and my dad is drunk screaming #last night I woke up with him slapping her while she layed besides me in bed they both literally do not care about me at all #i mean i guess i should be self sufficient now. im 18. i could go with my bf since hes moving but I don't want to. #it seems like no matter what I do everything is out of my control. i think im paying. i think i deserve this. I just wanna die

[fern-pajamabrain]

I'm not one to do this, but vent incoming xp

I just wanna feel like I'm enough for someone. Like, for real. That they won't leave or """replace"""" me the moment someone new appears. My school friends, my highschool best friends, my ex-gf.

it's weird tho, because I have confidence in myself, I know I'm funny and fun to have around, I have a lot of topics I can talk about, I love listening to people and also making them feel loved and appreciated, I've always being a dependable friend. but time and time again life gives me confirmation that all that apparently isn't enough. because I give my everything but they leave, they stop talking to me, they find new people and shove me to the side. but I can never find anyone else.

And I know I'm not entitled to anyone's love or affection, but it hurts trying my best and still never being good enough for anyone.

I just want for someone to stay for real. The only people I have (for now) are my ex-gf whom I stayed as friends with but everything feels weird and complicated (I'd need an essay to explain All That Happened™) and my best friend from highschool who answers my messages once every two weeks.

And I know I can be happy alone, but it hurts seeing people my age go out and have fun and have a friend group, while the only people I go out with are my grandma and my brother. I just want to make friends, but my anxiety, my social awkwardness and my bare bones social skills don't help at all (and there might even be some undiagnosed autism if I'm completely honest, but the jury is still not fully on with that bc I haven't gone to therapy)

but life goes on I guess, at least I'm alive. if you read all that, sorry xp, but have yourself a cookie 🍪

#i don't like venting here but i needed to let it all out somehow #and i didn't feel like writing on my diary #I'd usually vent like this to my ex-gf friend but she's with her bf now and Im trying to deal with my shit on my own #bc I feel that the day we stop talking is getting near #should I go to therapy? yeah #will I in the near future? hopefully #if you've also read this take this 🥐 as a sign of my appreciation #now to mimir that tomorrow I have to work #pelotudeces

[gommyworm]

:^/

#i look so fucking hot today #and i have nobody to appreciate it #my best friend lives 8 hrs away and constantly leaves me on read #which i understand we both tend to drop off the face of the earth when we arent around each other #my only other friend is a guy like 3 yrs younger than me who i have more of a like ? casual friendship w where we like #complain about the government and check in on each other n stuf #and like hes a very good boy but i cant like Talk to him about my life or show him my very attractive fit bc thatd be weird asf #and the only other person i talk to is my ex lmfaooo and that has its whole set of issues #i really desperately need friends or like a bf or something like i cant sit with myself like this every day or im gonna kms #i should hit up my therapist lmaoo i ghosted her a while ago and gooooood would i love someone to talk to rn lmao #like someone who already knows backstory and like the shit involved in my stupid shitty life #man i made my makeup look so nice so i coukd stop crying all day and now i fucking ruined it lmfao #idk why im so stressed these days i just want to be dead #i genuinely think i need like professional help lol like this is way worse than normal #maybe seasonal depression on top of the regular shit ? idk whats even happening anymore #i think im gonna really try and read a book so today so i can not exist for a bit #man and i got all fancy n shit 😔😔😔😔 this sucks ass #maybe i should get some sort of diary app or soemthing so i dont have to do this on tumbkr lmfao #prpbably less embarassing that way #whatever not like ppl reading this really care plus its interesting to see ppls thots i think #i hope u enjoyed the show :^) #gommywords

[magicgrotto]

i keep having dreams about SH (:

#the only person who looks at this shit anyway is my bf and he alr knows #so ig i'll just blog for myself rn bc these past few months have been really hard #and i've tried to reach out to a few ppl and i've made a few posts #but like aside from the initial 'i DO care about you' none of them have done anything aside from said bf #it's honestly rly funny #bc a lot of my friends are the types of ppl who repost shit abt how u should check in on your friends #and support them when they're depressed or if they've gone quiet #but they never actually do any of the stuff they repost #at least not for me (: maybe for their other more important friends #anyway i thought i'd be used to this by now but ig it never stops hurting #all i can do is keep struggling and hope those dreams don't come true

[movingmyselfon]

08/07/2022, 16.17pm

Some people truly have it all

#cfo is leaving and shes going to an amazing job and shes got the bf and the house and the dog and the looks #shes now got the money and the ease and everything ive wanted #shes not even near to how experienced or educated or qualified i am #but shes got it all #fml #fml to hell #i did my msc for fucking what shes not even completed her modules yet ffs #every single thing ive ever hoped for ive never got not even and inkling #whats worse is watching literally everyone else in my life getting them all #like literally every single thing ive dreamt and hoped and desperately prayed for myself someone else in my life has got #and its not just 1 person its spread across all the people i know #maybe i should just stop #just stop it altogether because im not going anywhere #theres no job i will be head hunted for theres no man who will find me himself or have a random story of meeting #i have nothing and no one #i am nothing and no on3 #mytalks #t