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fckinev · 4 years

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English Love Affair (calum hood x reader)

*in the last week i have listened to english love affair more times than should be allowed and i don’t doubt amazon music is very worried about me, but dear goodness the things i would let calum hood do to me are RIDICULOUS. also sorry i’m posting AGAIN this week, i like writing here because no-one actually knows me n it’s less pressure to write well lol

summary - your band is opening for 5sos and it’s the final night of touring with them. over the year you’ve been planning and actually touring with the other band, you and calum had gotten insanely close to the point you developed feelings. and right before the tour started, calum told you he felt exactly the same way. you lived your relationship through secret meetings, not even telling your bandmates. but tonight, people are going to know, calum’s making sure of it

warnings - not a warning as such, but you’re english in this for context! otherwise, just implied sex and swear words :)

length - pretty short! it won’t take long for you to read, like ten minutes max

personal thoughts - honestly i have none. head empty for all but calum*

“No, Ellie’s right,” Shreya says, spinning her chair around to face you, “This really is your last chance.” Her makeup is only halfway done - her left eye is intricately decorated and defined, her right completely bare - but she still manages to make you take her seriously. You shake your head and roll your eyes, getting off the dressing table to collapse on the sofa. The prep room in Sydney is your favourite of all the prep rooms you’ve been in the last few months. You hate to think that this is the last prep room you’re going to be in for at least a year - you’ve been exhausted this whole time but you don’t want the tour to end.

“Actually I think I’m right, I will have other chances than this.” You state, throwing your legs over the arm of the sofa so Ellie will play with your hair. Shreya tuts and turns back to her mirror, picking up a palette and starting on the other eye. That was one thing your band was adamant remained - Shreya was allowed to do her own makeup, Ellie could do your hair and if you didn’t like the clothes they suggested you just wouldn’t wear them. When you were laying those conditions out, Luke laughed. Not cruelly, but in admiration. You were still a pretty small band at the time but you were willing to completely abandon this opportunity if it meant you couldn’t do it your way.

Ellie sighs. “Y/N, we’re saying this with love, you won’t. After this tour, there’s no real reason to keep hanging out with him. Sure, you can ask to go to lunch with him or invite him to a party or something but it won’t feel the same. Like, come on, we’ve seen the way you look at each other. That electricity is going to fucking fizzle the second we go home, mark my words.”

You almost feel bad that you haven’t told either of them what’s going on - little do they know, that electricity is going to continue to do its thing for the next three months that you’re spending with Calum at his house. He suggested it tentatively in Los Angeles, sat on the roof of the hotel you were staying in with a blanket wrapped around the both of you, and you instantly told him you could imagine nothing more perfect. He looked so happy when you said that you couldn’t help but kiss him, the first time you had done so somewhere that wasn’t a locked room. He didn’t hesitate to return it. But you know what they’re like in interviews - they’ll tell anyone anything without being prompted, they have never once kept a secret. Their logic is that if everyone knows everything about you guys no-one can expose you, but Jimmy Fallon did not ask about the time Shreya started her period while going commando with a skirt on and bled all over a car park without realising and he definitely didn’t want to know. A secret relationship would be outed in the first minute, you’re sure of it.

“And if you do want to hang out with him, even for a couple hours, you’re going to have to be on a plane for two whole days. You understand that, right? A whole day there and back on a fucking aeroplane just to shyly flirt with this guy for a little while. But if you start a relationship with him, right, you can stay here for a bit, you’ve got a reason to. That means you can actually, like, live out the I’m-dating-Calum-Hood fantasy. And even if he says no, you live on opposite sides of the world, it’s not like you’re going to awkwardly bump into each other. Now is the perfect time to tell him!” Shreya says, doing her eyeliner in one sleek movement. You smile and shake your head again.

“I’m staying here anyway, we’re gonna get food with Ashton and his girlfriend on Friday.”

Ellie stops playing with your hair and Shreya freezes, both of them staring at you intently.

“My aunt lives here, my mum says we should spend some time together before she dies.”

Shreya snorts.

“That’s what she said?” Ellie asks, giggling.

“Not exactly, but yeah, that’s what she said.”

“Well, I’ll stay here with you so you don’t get bored with her. I’m not ready to go home yet.” Shreya offers, finishing her makeup with immaculate lipstick before sitting on the armchair opposite the sofa.

“NO, no, don’t.”

Shreya looks justifiably offended and you sigh.

“I just mean that... I want to take this time to spend with family and stuff, you know? I haven’t seen her since I was, like, ten, I miss her.”

That part is true, but your aunt who lives here is actually perfectly healthy and your age. She probably won’t be dying any time soon.

“What about practice?” Ellie asks, tapping your head so you’ll sit up.

“FaceTime.”

“And demos? Full offence to Apple, FaceTime doesn’t do you justice, we can’t record stuff over FaceTime.”

You pause. “I can send you voice clips. I’ll buy myself a proper microphone if I have to.”

Ellie hesitates. “What about us?”

You giggle, tapping her arm teasingly. “What are you, obsessed with me?”

Shreya rolls her eyes. “Well, we’ll miss you. The flight won’t be nearly as entertaining without someone to draw on.”

“Draw on each other, I wouldn’t let you draw on me again anyway.”

Before Shreya can reply, the door opens. It’s Calum. He’s sweating yet still looks so good you could lose your mind. The outfit you helped him choose suits him just as perfectly as you promised him it would, but he still glances at you for approval like he can’t tell. He blushes instantly when you wink at him and covers it with a smile.

“Luke wants to talk to you guys before you go on,” he tells you all, “Something about the end of the set.”

“You know,” Shreya says, “I don’t actually think we all need to be there for that. Do you know what it is yet, C?”

“Kinda, but-”

Shreya claps her hands for silence (a habit that works unfortunately well) before standing and pulling Ellie up with her. “Well then, you quickly tell Y/N then you can keep talking about what you’re going to do together while she’s here while Luke gives us the long version, okay? Okay!”

And the pair goes running out of the room, dashing down the hall while giggling like they’ve done something subtle. Calum takes a backward glance at them before closing the door, smirking. “It’s really sweet that they’re still trying to get us together.”

“Trust me,” you laugh, pulling him to stand in the V of your legs, “It’s annoying. They keep telling me today’s my ‘last chance to do something’.”

Calum smiles, lacing his fingers with yours. “Well in that case, you wanna do something?”

“Like what? You know I like you.”

He quirks his eyebrow at you and you realise what he means. “Ahhh... how much time have we got?”

He checks his watch. “Enough.”

“No, c’mon, tell me properly, I wanna know the pace.” You say, instantly giggling afterwards. He laughs too.

“An hour until you go on.”

“I can get ready in twenty minutes and I’m gonna have to make excuses for Ellie and Shreya but I’ll meet you in your dressing room in ten minutes.”

“The things we can do in half an hour.” Calum grins, winking exaggeratedly. You laugh and kiss his lips quickly, picking up your phone and starting to walk away.

“You’d better be there before me. I’m not gonna wait around for you.”

“Trust me, I’m gonna run the whole way there.” He assures you, sneaking a kiss before living up to his promise and careering toward his changing room. You smile fondly and start running to find Shreya and Ellie. The sooner you get back to him the better.

***

From the closed-off section you watch the band from, you can fully take in the sheer size of the crowd. When you sang earlier, you just tried not to focus on it because you didn’t want to throw yourself off but now, safely out of the woods, you acknowledge how fucking many people are here right now. They’re screaming and chanting the lyrics and filming dutifully but the guys aren’t at all fazed. They know how to work the audience, use the space, own the moment. This is the only night Shreya isn’t taking dutiful notes - she wants to improve the performance of your band and she isn’t willing to pay to see a concert, this tour has been good for you all in more ways than one.

The best part is the way Calum searches for you, no matter how focused he’s supposed to be on the song. A quick head turn to sneak a look, fully turning to wink or teasingly mimic biting (you were putting makeup on your neck until the minute you went on), walking closer to the edge of the stage just to be closer to you. Ellie points out every glance to you like you’re somehow missing it (he is extremely blatant for someone who doesn’t want to have a public relationship) and you giggle innocently in response. He beams the whole performance and you feel responsible.

“Y/N, quit ogling him for five seconds, we’ve gotta go.” Shreya says, tugging your arm. You keep your eyes on him for as long as you can, then run after Ellie and Shreya. Luke told them about the end of the set and they relayed it to you before you found Calum; all you have to do is go on and sing one of their songs with them. They didn’t tell you which one but you know every single song they have off by heart, it’s not a problem.

When Luke has reintroduced you, you come onstage to embrace him quickly, ask the audience how they are, laugh at the indefinable scream and adjust your outfit. The dress is really pretty, but it rides up constantly for no real reason.

“You all probably know that this is our last concert of the tour,” Luke starts, pausing to let everyone make assorted sad noises. You glance at Calum and wink when you see him watching, making him blush and look down at his bass, “And the experience we’ve had with the girls has been one of the best we could’ve wished for, so it’s only fair we do our very last song together. But before we do, please make some noise for them, they-”

He doesn’t bother finishing over the screeching, knowing he won’t be heard, but you blow a kiss and mock a curtsy. Ellie quickly squeezes your hand and you look back.

“It’s English Love Affair,” she whispers, “That’s what we’re doing. Calum picked it.”

You instantly turn your head to look at him, watching him fuck around with his bass again before he catches your eye. You mouth the name of the song, smirking a little, and he shrugs coyly.

“Way to be subtle.” You mouth, shaking your head.

“Just thought it was time to tell people.” He mouths back. You roll your eyes fondly, then look back to the crowd when Ashton starts drumming.

Luke takes the first verse but you come in on the chorus, harmonising with him and trying to work the audience the same way he does. Clearly, it works - they go insane for you, and you glow.

When it gets to the second verse, you work your way over to Calum, careful that it looks natural, like you’re still just performing and not trying to get close to him. You’ve never been the most rhythmic dancer but you do what you can and make it as teasing as you can. He fucks up and you smile proudly before you make your way back to Luke.

“She’s all I ever think about...” Luke sings, pointing at you jokingly.

“Kissing in the rain...” You point back and wink. The rest of the song is finished, though you can hardly even hear yourself over the crowd and you cheer when they do, screaming a little in surprise when confetti canons go off even though you knew they would. When you’ve hugged Luke, tight because you both need to let off a little nervous energy, you turn around to instantly see Calum’s face.

“I thought kissing in the rain was our thing.” He jokes and you giggle.

“Nobody goes for the bassist, they always prefer the singer.” You tease back. You expect an eye roll, a light swat to your arm, a quick quip.

But instead, he kisses you, right in front of that huge crowd.

They’re so loud your ears pop but you kiss him back (if you’re going to do it, do it right), the distinct sound of Ellie and Shreya screaming in sync just about definable from the rest of the screeches.

“If they knew the bassist kissed like that, I don’t think they would.”

#5sos #5sos fic #calum imagine #calum hood #five seconds of summer #reader insert #fanfic #calum x reader

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cnchoe-imagines · 5 years

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sexting with them; full group

anonymous request: can you do an hc about sexting w/ them? if that's too dirty it's totally cool <3

a/n: sorry for the wait bby !! hope u enjoy xoxo (thank u @babyycnco for your help translating!! i would have been completely lost without your help!! everyone go check out my queen’s writing, it’s amazing !! xoxo - tatianna)

christopher ↴

yall im already sweating

ok this boi sexts a Lot

like if he’s out on tour expect your phone to be blowing up every night

he might start off a little mild like: “te extraño amor :(”

and you’re like aww poor boy bc ofc you’ve missed him all these months too

but while you’re typing some sort of sweet text back u get some pics

and that pic isn’t soft (no pun intended lmfao)

the first one is one of his cliche shirtless selfies

but the next one is like his lower stomach with that perfectly light happy trail leading to the not so small bulge in his boxers (ecuador doesn’t have the second biggest dick size in the world for me to diss my man like that)

anyway

he’s like “el pensamiento de tu cuerpo me vuelve loco”

or some greasy shit like that

but u still getting hot and bothered like ‘damn ok boi’

so you ask him to call you ofc and by some MIRACLE he can and WOW are u glad he did

his grunted moans filter through the phone, and you can hear the smirk on his lips

“te gusta la foto, baby?”

you can’t argue at all bc who would

anyway he’s gonna tell u EVERYTHING he wants to do

about how he wants to eat you out/suck you off

“tengo tantas ganas de saborearte”

leave hickeys all over your body

and he’ll make sure you’re touching yourself the whole time

makes u scream his name when u cum

(honest to god he might cum first just hearing u moan alone jdfskfjsdk we love)

richard ↴

OK THIS BOI HAS NO LEADUP UNLIKE OUR ECUADORIAN BITCH

he be sliding into your dms like he’s a fuckboy from tinder who you’ve never spoken to before

“ay baby hit me up with those nudes tho? 👀“

luckily for him you’ve got a new outfit/look to show off

so you send the pic,, making sure to leave out just enough to tease him

and damn u better BET he’s riled up

anyway he gets right to the point pretty quickly

“vamos, ya sabes que quiero ver más”

“abre más tus piernas”

“enséñame todo”

and in return you’re gonna get some hot ass pics of his tattooed chest and big dick--

if you’re lucky you could get some videos or audio messages too

YALL his groans are heavenly ok that boy sounds like he’s growling istg

“dios, tengo tantas ganas de cogerte”

“¿me estás imaginando ahí? más te vale”

he’s gonna have u cumming quickly just saying

bde even when he’s miles away

we stan

zabdiel ↴

sigh

look he’s definitely going into this quickly

no leadup like richard

he’ll send u a pic of him hard in his jeans like :)

“no pude dejar de pensar en ti todo el día.”

and you’re like BITCH didn’t u have an interview today jskdfcjsd u rlly were out there poppin a boner on my behalf god bless

anyway

despite being v v forward

he’s gonna tease u FOREVER

sends u hella videos of him jacking off and moaning and all that good ish

“me aseguraré de que no me olvides”

and you’re like LMFAO with a dick like that how could i

moving on

he’s gonna have u like crying from orgasm denial i bet my life on it

you’ll be messaging him about how badly u need to cum and he’s like “lol nah”

“no querrías que te castigara, ¿verdad?”

and even though he’s miles away you can still feel the truth behind his words

so you don’t cum until he lets u

u just have to listen to his voice as he tells u about how much he misses u sucking him off

“he extrañado tanto tu boca.”

you’re gonna need those ultra soft tissues to wipe your tears and a ten hour nap after he’s done with you just saying

joel ↴

ok he’s a lazy boi

but passionate as fuck

he’s probably stressed as hell

because i don’t think he’d initiate something like this otherwise

so it’s probably you who does

anyway he’ll ask for some pictures/videos

and he’ll be VERY thankful

and he’ll let that be known

“dios, eres tan perfecta”

“tu cuerpo es tan perfecto”

“extraño tocarte”

he might send some audio clips too

“gracias por las fotos, gracias”

lots of thank yous and praise

he’s very vocal about how much he loves this experience with you

he’ll definitely send some pics back too

“mira lo que me haces”

with a pic of him biting his lip

hair stuck to his forehead with sweat

and dick hard against his stomach

im sweating whoops

anyway when you cum it’s v powerful

and you can tell he feels the same

sends u a bunch of heart emojis and other soft shit afterwards

:’)

erick ↴

ok he’s a BABY

so imma keep this a little soft u know how it be

anyway i feel like you guys would be texting and it would just turn into sexting

you guys would be talking about how much you miss each other, how lonely you’ve been, how the tour has been going, etc.

and then erick is like “u know what fuck this”

“¿podemos hablar de otra cosa, amor?”

and you’re like ofc bebe what?!

and THEN the pics start

like chris they start with some good shirtless selfies

and you’re like,, oh,, that’s where this conversation is going

“te he extrañado tanto a ti y tu cuerpo, mi ángel.”

lots and lots of audio clips

so !! much !! praise !!

and ofc you have to send some back

and you notice how much weaker his voice gets as you do

“gracias, nena”

“tan perfecta”

ejdsfkafdjds he’s the type to not be quiet AT ALL bc it just goes over his head

and the boys the next day are like :)))))

‘erick can you stfu the next time, thanks !’

and he’s super embarrassed but also like ‘hah they think im the young baby but they’re WRONG :D’

no,, erick,, u are

anyway he doesn’t give a fuck about their complaints and u guys make sexting a normal occurrence lmfao

#cnco #cnco headcanon #cnco imagine #cnco smut #cnco headcanons #cnco smut headcanons #cnco smut imagine #cnco smut imagines #cnco imagines #christopher velez #christopher velez smut #richard camacho #richard camacho smut #zabdiel de jesus #zabdiel de jesus smut #joel pimentel #joel pimentel smut #erick brian colon #erick brian colon smut

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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649

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yeah, of course. What did you do yesterday? I spent the morning hungover because I drank the night before, but I had to be in class by 10 AM so I had no choice but to drive to school. My classes were thankfully pretty chill, and the most random thing that happened was my prof making us take a speed typing test in the middle of our class lol. Otherwise, it was a normal school day. Something you really want right now? More moneyyyy. I blew most of it last Wednesday when me and my girlfriend had drinks up in Marco Polo. Hotels obviously jack up their prices on everything, and alcohol is no exception so what I’d pay for a cocktail in my school’s area got quadrupled in Marco Polo. But I had a loooot of fun that night, so I can’t say I regret it even though I lost most of my allowance. If you could seek revenge on someone would you? [continued from yesterday because I just had suuuch a hectic week] Like I’ve said, the idea of revenge is something I daydream about just to feel internally satisfied, but I never feel the need to act on it. How long have you liked the person you like? Six, maybe even seven years.

Are you happy with the way things are going? For the most part. I could go with less worry/anxiety, but I mean I can’t say I’m miserable. Would you ever get a tattoo? Only if I feel like the time is right, which is a FAR cry from “get tattoos of all the things you love”-era Robyn lmao. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes. April is my birth month, and I’d hate to be single by then lol. What plans do you have for tomorrow? I finally have my rest day tomorrow, which I’m fuuuucking stoked about. It’s been such a busy busy week and I’m just so relieved that all I have to do tomorrow is sit and lounge around. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? Not really. I kinda cut off friendships with two guys because they annoyed me over some issue, but the thing is they’re part of our high school group so I can’t avoid them forever – I see them when we have reunions, but I don’t mingle with them. What are you listening to right now? I can hear the electric fan whirring in front of me but in my head Simmer by Hayley Williams is playing as loud as ever. Do you and your last ex hate each other? No. What are you afraid of? I hate uncertainty the most, but some other things I’m afraid of are failing in general, videos that make me stressed like footage of collapsing/fainting people or racist people making tirades on public transport, flying cockroaches, sharp objects, and fire. When was the last time you were sick? Some time last year, I got a fever for like two hours but I was totally fine after. But the last time I was SICK sick was sometime in 2017 – but even that was only an overnight thing. I don’t remember the last time I was sick for over a day. Do you tend to waste a lot of money? LMAOOO don’t even remind me. I literally have a single P50 bill left in my wallet – that’s less than a dollar to ya. Do you have trust issues? No, not at all. Do you think this year will be better than last? I’m genuinely unsure, and I’d rather not guess or mull over it. 2020 is going to be a year of so much change – graduating college, getting my first job, maybe moving out for the first time?, not knowing if my girlfriend is going to pursue a master’s abroad, what that means for us, etc. Big things are waiting, and I HATE the uncertainty of it all. I take surveys to forget, so please don’t remind me of things I go here to forget, haha. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No. Are you a jealous person? I can be, but like I’m not obsessed with being jealous. When was the last time you got a haircut? 2018. I desperately need a dramatic haircut. Do you know anyone that smokes weed? Yeah I know people who’ve told me about it, but I’m sure there are more people I know that haven’t told me they do weed. Who is the last person you rode in a car with? I was with Luisa and Hannah and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t the one driving! Do you look more like your mom or your dad? I ask people this and they always tell me I’m a perfect mix. Apparently the top half of my face looks like my dad, and the bottom half is all my mom. Are there any stressful situations in your life? Yep a little bit yep yep yep. If you were caught cheating would you fess up? If I was already caught, I’d be incredibly stupid to still deny it so yeah, I’d confess. The last time you honestly felt broken? Maybe Monday? Idk, I cried pretty hard that day, harder than I normally would. What do you really want right now? I want this stupid internet speed to be faster because I need to send emails ASAP, and I need some good fucking food. I am not the happiest camper right now lmao. Best thing about the last person you chatted on facebook? He’s literally the most reliable dude ever. I can always depend on him to help me out no matter how last-minute it is. Best thing about the last person you talked to in person? She’s generous. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Yesterday. Is there someone you wish you were closer to? At this point, not really. I’m happy with my circle and there haven’t been new people who entered my life recently. Have any addictions? Nope. Are you anything like your siblings? We’re all reserved, but then again out of all the three of us I’m still the biggest extrovert and I’m also probably the one who finds it easy to blend in with most groups. But yeah, we all definitely have a layer of extreme shyness in us. We’re also never upfront about our feelings, so when we cry we do it in the privacy of our own rooms, or if we’re upset we rant about it to our own friends. Have you ever had a stalker? I don’t think so. Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? LOL what? No I haven’t. That sounds wild though. What did you last eat? A brownie and a sip of coffee. What was the best concert you have been to? PARAMORE. UGH. THEY HAVE THE BEST CONCERTS. I’ve seen them twice and I plan to see them three, four, and the next bajillion times. Paramore forever <3 Who is the last person you hugged? I’m not 100% sure. Maybe Laurice. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? I have a couple, yeah. Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? This survey is a big secret for one, lmao. Where do you get your clothes? It depends. I shop everywhere so I get my clothes from a variety of places. They’re mostly from independent shops/stalls that pop up once in a while at malls, though. Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? [continued YET AGAIN from last night because I am just one big exhausted bean] Again, this Tumblr is a pretty big secret. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? There are several people who meet this category. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone? I like sleeping with someone only if they’re my significant other. Otherwise, I like my own space when I sleep. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? No, I haven’t. When was the last time something bothered you? I am bothered at this moment, hence the survey-taking haha. Who was the first male you talked to today? My dog. But if he doesn’t count, it was Andrew. Are you completely over your past relationships? I’ve only been with one person. Do you get attached to people easily? No, it only ever happens with select people. But when I get attached, it happens hard. Are you currently looking forward to anything? Uhhhh sure. I’m dreading most of this week but my high school’s annual school fair is happening this Friday and Saturday and that’s the only thing I’m excited for. Do you believe in love? Yes. Let's be honest, have you ever been played by someone? Can’t say I have. Have you ever played someone? Yes, this I’ve done. I still feel bad about it occasionally but I’m sure the person has long gotten past it. What is currently on your mind? How sad I am and that I have to focus on this survey so I can be distracted. Would it hurt seeing the last person you kissed, kissing someone else? Of course. How many piercings have you had in your life? Just two. Who else is in the room with you? I’m the only one in the dining room but my brother is also here downstairs. Have you ever been beside someone while they were throwing up? [It’s 12 hours later. This is the absolute slowest I’ve ever worked on a survey lmao] No, it was always the other way around HAHAHA Did you eat breakfast today? I haven’t yet but I’m not feeling hungry so I might just settle for a cup of coffee. When was the last time you cried? A few minutes ago watching a clip from an NBA game having a moment of silence for Kobe Bryant. I was never into basketball but we DID have a copy of NBA Live 2003, and whenever I played it I always used the Lakers team so that I got to play as either Shaq or Kobe, so I’m sad and shocked, to say the least. Do you like tea? Just sugary iced tea. None of that herbal stuff. When was the last time you took a nap? Yesterday afternoon. What song is stuck in your head? Simmer, by Hayley Williams. As has been the case in the last four days. Do you have a TV in your room? I used to, but my brother would always be the one using it to play his video games so I eventually just gave it to him. Have you ever broken a bone? Nope. And I’m always extra careful so that I never have to go through such an injury. Have you ever had stitches? ^ Same answer. Are you wearing a sweatshirt? No...it’s starting to get warmer for sweatshirts now :( Have you taken a shower in the last 24 hours? Yes. Are there things in your life that you'll never be able to get over? Of course. There’s been a fair share of deaths, betrayals, abusive family shit that I’ve had to go through and that aren’t easy to forget. Can you remember who you liked this time last year? Yes. What's one physical flaw you'd like to fix about yourself? Straightening my teeth. What do you do when you're feeling extremely nervous? Uh it depends on whatever helps me at that time. I’d pace around, fiddle with my eyebrows, breathe deeply, shake my hands rapidly, bite my nails, etc. Do you have a hard time letting go? Yes. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I doubt it. What do you plan on doing now? Making my cup of coffee and taking another survey to make up for the embarassment that is taking three days of finishing this one lmao.

#survey #surveys

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meetmeatthecoda · 6 years

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31 could be sooo good (like a lizzington version of Pretty Woman 😍) but if you’re not comfortable writing that, 25 please! ☺️

AU Prompts

25. librarian/avid reader au

Hello there, kind anon! :D Firstly, I’m sosorry for the wait on this, I’m such a broken record. I hope you’re stillaround to maybe enjoy this! :) Secondly, I have to thank you for your kindconsideration of my comfort levels with writing certain content! That was sovery nice of you and I greatly appreciate your understanding with what kind ofmaterial I’m comfortable creating :) As you predicted, I went #25, not onlybecause I wouldn’t really have been super comf with the alternative, but becauselibraries have always been important to me and this au struck all the rightchords with me! (pun intended, I guess, cause I do music or whatever lol) So,needless to say, I had tons of fun with this prompt! :D It features a shy andinsecure Red complete with Spader glasses, an academic and playful Liz, Nik asthe unwanted love interest just to shake things up, and lots of hesitantflirting and library puns cause… I wanted to :) So yeah, this is chapter 9 ofAmethyst and will be posted as such on FF.net and AO3! :D I really hope youenjoy, anon, let me know if you do, and thank you again for prompting! :) Muchlove!

Red flops into his chair at thecirculation desk, just back from stocking shelves in the history section, andglances over to the empty tables near the science shelves. Then he adjusts hisblack-rimmed glasses and glances at his watch. And he sighs.

She’s late today.

Every day for the past five years, Red hasworked here at the library. And every day for the past five months, Red hasbeen observing the most beautiful woman.

She comes in every weekday, Monday throughFriday, and sits at the table near the window in the science section. The firstday she came in, he’d been stocking in the shelves on the opposite side of theroom, so he didn’t see her walk in and sit down. He’d simply looked up when hegot back to his desk and there she was, sitting as if she’d always been there,book open, reading in the sunlight. After that first day, she hasn’t missedone.

(And if sometimes he gets distracted fromupdating the online library catalog because the sunlight comes through thewindow at such an angle to make her blue eyes luminous, well then, no onenotices but him.)

He’s never heard her speak. She alwaysspends her time here in the library quietly, not talking to anyone, justsitting on her own reading and studying for two hours in the afternoon, twoo’clock to four o’clock. He’s gotten a glimpse of the books she brings with her,never library owned, always her own textbooks, and he thinks she’s a psychologystudent.

(She’s intelligent, as well as beautiful.)

She’s not young though. She’s certainlyyouthful, but not a freshman in college by any means. He wonders which degreeshe’s currently pursuing. A master’s or perhaps a PhD.

(Either way, she’s probably out of hisleague.)

She is easily the highlight of his everyday, his lonely quiet life is brightened by her coming to the library everyday, even if she doesn’t know he exists.

But today she’s late.

Red glances at his watch again. Quarterafter two. She’s never this late. He wonders if she’s alright. Anything couldhave happened, she could have overslept, she could be having a late lunch, shecould have gotten in an accident, she could have –

All of a sudden, the door swings open andRed’s head whips around to look hopefully at the newcomer and there she is.Gently closing the door behind her and wandering past the circulation desktowards her regular table, with not a care in the world, tucking a stray lockof dark hair behind her ear as she goes.

Of course, Red thinks scathingly tohimself. She’s not late, not to her. She can come and go here whenever shepleases and, as far as she knows, there’s isn’t a pathetic librarian waiting onpins and needles to see her every day at two o’clock on the nose.

(He’s bordering on creepy.)

Red watches as she takes her usual placeat her usual table, just a few minutes later than her usual time. She opens hermessenger bag and pulls out her books, stacking them on the table and slingingher bag on the back of her chair before she sits down with a sigh Red can hearacross the library, settling down to study.

(He’s never seen an individual morededicated to academia.)

Red manages to tear his eyes away from hergorgeous profile and, with a quiet sigh of his own, snatches the stack ofscience books that have been sitting on his desk since nine o’clock thismorning, waiting to be re-stocked.

(Because if he puts aside the sciencebooks so he can shelve them while she’s here?

Well, no one notices but him.)

It’s the middle of the next week when Redis unnecessarily re-organizing the physiology section, conveniently located justa shelf away from her table, when he hears a disturbance. It sounds like ahushed male voice, coming from the table by the window. Red frowns and quietlypushes aside a book on heart defects to peek through the resultant gap at thewoman’s table, telling himself he’s checking up on the clientele of thelibrary, not creepily spying on a gorgeous woman.

He sees a man hovering over the very tableRed has been watching from a distance for months, speaking quietly butinsistently to the woman sitting there. Red’s heart sinks into his stomach. Theman is fairly young, probably around the woman’s age, with shocks of prematuregrey and white through his otherwise dark hair, wearing blue scrubs.

Great. A doctor.

Red sighs, feeling worthless and dejected.There’s no way the woman would be even somewhat interested in him when she hasa handsome doctor sniffing around. He begins to push the books back into placeon the shelf, promising himself to never get attached to pretty library patronsagain, when he hears something that makes him pause.

“Really, Nik, I’m very flattered, but a nois a no.”

That’s her voice, it must be, trying toget rid of the doctor.

(Her voice is even more beautiful than Redimagined.)

“Aw, come on, Liz, you don’t mean that.Just let me buy you a drink, you’ll change your mind, I promise.”

And the doctor is bothering her.

No.

Red wastes no time in emerging frombetween the shelves, two encyclopedias on the human genome under his arm,adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Excuse me, sir,” he interrupts anotherpathetic plea for the woman – Liz, he thinks with a thrill – to go out withhim. “This is the silent reading section.”

Both Nik and Liz look up at him insurprise, though Red can see irritation on the man’s face and a little reliefon the woman’s.

(He’s doing the right thing.)

“Oh, sorry, man, we’re just having a chathere,” the dismissal in his voice is clear and the fake smile Nik flashes tohim makes Red’s lip curl.

“Yes, I can see that, sir, and that’sprecisely the point. You’re beginning to disturb the other patrons.”

Not true, of course. The only person at atable within hearing distance has headphones on. Nik notices.

“Look, man, just let me –”

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m going to have to askyou to leave.”

Red can see the man get frustrated, angerflashing in his eyes, but Red stands his ground, staring him down and squaringhis shoulders, trying to use his solid form to be imposing. Nik huffs for a longmoment before visibly giving up, casting one last glance down to the quietwoman at the table.

“Whatever. I’ll see you around, Liz.”

And he turns to leave, striding past Redangrily, muttering under his breath something that sounds suspiciously like“not worth it anyway” and Red has to stop himself from hurling an encyclopediaat the back of his head.

(There isn’t a fictional universe in anyof the books in this library in which Lizzie wouldn’t be completely and utterly“worth it”.)

Red stares after Nik, making sure heleaves, watching as he pulls the door shut behind him with a little more force thannecessary, before Red feels himself relax.

Good riddance.

But he tenses up again the moment he turnsand finds Lizzie looking at him curiously, her piercing blue eyes staring rightat him. He lowers his head out of instinct, trying to hide behind his glasses.What if she didn’t want him to do that, what if she’s mad, what if –

“Thank you.”

Red looks up in surprise to meet hergrateful gaze, her blue eyes warm and a kind smile on her face, looking at himwith interest.

(She’s so beautiful.)

The only thing Red can do is nod quickly,barely managing to pry his dry mouth open to say two words to her.

“You’re welcome.”

And he manages to return her smile – hethinks – before he turns on his heel, hefting the two encyclopedias in his armsand hurrying back to the relative safety of his circulation desk, his hearthammering.

(She noticed him.)

It’s the end of the next week, at a quarterto four on Friday, that something even more amazing happens.

Red is slumped at his desk, his eyesglazed over as he mindlessly scrolls through the library catalog, trying tobring himself to enter the shipment of new atlases they just received, when hesuddenly feels a shadow fall over him. He straightens up instinctively, quicklysmoothing down his tie before looking up at the person standing in front of hisdesk. And his heart nearly stops.

It’s her.

There she is, in all her glory, her longdark hair framing her pale face, a portion held back out of her eyes by a smallclip, her blue eyes peering at him with a faint, pleasant smile on her face.She’s wearing a soft-looking grey sweater and comfy-looking worn jeans, her bagslung over her shoulder and a book in her hands.

And he’s staring stupidly at her as she gazesat him.

She doesn’t seem to mind his stupor,particularly. At least, she doesn’t look too worried for his sanity. She’ssimply looking back at him, an expression on her face that is intriguing, insome back recess of his mind.

(If he didn’t know better, he’d think shelooked mildly interested in him. But that’s not possible.)

After a long moment, she finally opens hermouth to speak.

“Hi.”

Red blinks, the single word, though very gentleand quiet, still manages to shock him, sending his heart racing in his chest.He pries his mouth open to parrot the word back at her.

“Hi.”

There, he answered back, now it’s her turnto talk. That’s how conversation works, right? But she’s still staring at himand he feels the back of his neck getting warm. Why is she still staring, whatdid he do, has she come to her senses about last week, is she angry with him? No,she doesn’t look angry, she looks kind of interested, but she’s not, so whatcould she possibly want, he doesn’t –

“I’d like to check this out, please.”

And she places the book she’s holding verygently on his desk, cover facing up, in a quiet, polite request.

Oh. She wants him to do his job.Obviously.

“Of course, of course, I’m sorry!”

Red leaps into action, snatching the bookoff the counter, hurriedly jiggling his mouse to wake up his computer, shovingthe book under the scanner and waiting for it to beep, all the while avoidingeye contact with the woman he’s been shyly staring at over the rims of his dark-framedglasses for what feels like forever.

(This feels like a dream.)

“Hey, Liz!”

And she’s turning at the soft call ofanother woman from across the library, leaving Red alone for a moment while he checksout her book.

“Hi, Samar! How is…”

Her voice fades as she takes a few stepsaway from the circulation desk to meet the dark-skinned woman and Red is leftat his desk feeling cold from the loss of her. He mechanically reaches for thestamper and ink pad to leave the due date on the card in the back of the book, listeningto the receipt stutter out of the old printer at a snail’s pace. But, whilehe’s doing that, in his mind’s eye he’s seeing her looking at him, that strangelook that he could have sworn was intrigue. What if she –

Hm. Should he?

He glances over at Lizzie, still talkingto her friend, waving her hands animatedly in hushed conversation. He wouldnever ordinarily presume but there’s something about her eyes that…well, maybehe should be brave for once.

(And if this fails horribly, well, no onewill notice but him.)

So, he is spurred back into action,ripping her receipt off at the perforation and looking around frantically for apen, spying one lying between a thesaurus he was reading this morning out ofsheer boredom and his half-eaten chicken salad sandwich from lunch. He snatchesup the pen and flattens her receipt on his desk, taking a fortifying breathbefore leaning forward to write.

(Oh, god, what is he doing?)

He scrawls his name and number at the topof the tiny paper.

“Okay, I’ll see you on Sunday!”

His head whips around in panic as he seesLizzie waving goodbye to her friend and heading back to the circulation desk.His heart rises to his throat and he turns back to the receipt, frowning atwhat he wrote there.

Raymond

958-8041

Wait, what if she doesn’t know his name?He wears a nametag every day but what if she just hasn’t looked? What if –

Oh no, she’s almost here. Red only has asecond. He mentally throws caution to the wind and hastily scribbles the words“the librarian” in parenthesis next to his name before shoving the receipt inthe back of the book and snapping it shut just as she stops in front of him.

“Sorry about that,” she says pleasantly.“I had to talk to my friend really quickly. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”

(How are her eyes so blue?)

“No, not at all,” Red stammers, feelingvery aware of odd parts of his body, like his eyebrows and his pinky fingers.Do they always feel like that? “I just finished up actually.” He places herbook back on the counter for her. “It’s due back in two weeks.”

“Thanks so much,” she chirps, taking thebook and holding it close to her.

(He would bet all the money in the worldthat she never mistreats her library books.)

“Well, bye, then,” she says pleasantly,after a moment. She sounds a little wistful, as if maybe she was waiting forsomething else from him.

(Is he making all this up?)

But she’s turning away to leave and it’snow or never.

“Uh, your receipt is in the back,” hecalls after her, trying not to choke on his own words as he says them.

She turns and looks at him, that curiosityback in her eyes at his odd exclamation.

“Uh, okay, thanks,” she says, a littleconfusion evident in her tone but she gives him one last tiny smile before she turnsand leaves.

Red lets out a breath he doesn’t know howlong he was holding when the door finally swings shut behind her. Well. Eithershe’ll see it, or she won’t. And he won’t know which it is until Monday.

It’s going to be a long weekend.

Red doesn’t get much sleep over the nexttwo days and certainly no real meals. Mostly just black coffee and microwavedinners because he’s too nervous to stomach anything more substantial. He’sspends the majority of his time pretending to get work done around hisapartment, while he’s really just staring at his cell phone out of the cornerof his eye. He tries not to be too conspicuous about it, even though there’s noone around to judge him for being this pathetic. He leaves his phone sitting ona table or chair when he moves to another room, just to prove a point tohimself that he can get by without the raging insecurity and fear that he willmiss her call.

(And if he turns up the ringer before heleaves a room, no one is there to notice but him.)

But the whole weekend passes with no calland he tries not to feel discouraged. It’s completely possible that she justhasn’t looked in the back of the book and found the receipt yet. It also couldhave fallen out on her way home and is currently lying in some gutter with hispeace of mind. Or she could be so completely thrilled with the fact that he’sgiven her seven meaningless letters and digits that she’s waiting to see him inperson next week to throw herself into his arms in complete and utter joy.

(He knows the first two are more likely.)

He’s grateful when the weekend finallycomes to an end and, with butterflies in his stomach, he unlocks the libraryearly on Monday morning, unable to stay holed up in his tiny apartment anylonger, his cell phone seeming to ominously grow in size on the kitchen table.

(It’s only the thought of hearing herbeautiful voice on the other end that keeps him from throwing the damn thingout the window.)

The library itself doesn’t open foranother half an hour so busies himself tidying up and shelving the new shipmentof books he took home that weekend to catalogue. He’s just sitting back down athis desk, starting the process of turning on his ancient computer, when hehears the door open with the first patron of the week.

He glances at his watch. Nine o’clock onthe dot. Hm, must be eager.

Red is just signing in and opening up thecheck-out program when he hears a familiar voice sound in front of his desk.

“Hi.”

He freezes in place, his eyes staringwidely at his computer screen.

It’s her.

He slowly turns in his swivel chair,spinning to look up at her for the second time in twice as many days.

(She’s still stunning.)

“H-hi,” he stammers, actually stutteringout the two-letter word, how sad.

And he sees her mouth twitch at onecorner, as if to smother a giggle and if a meteor was to come down at thisprecise moment and leave a crater where he is currently sitting, he’d be finewith that.

(He is certain no one would notice buthim.)

He clears his throat and tries again.

“Can I help you?” his voice sounds alittle stronger now and at least he didn’t stutter again. It’s an improvement.

With her eyes still dancing in barelysuppressed amusement, she nods at him. “Yes, I’d like to return this.”

And his heart descends rapidly through hischest to the bottom of his stomach because she’s putting the book she checkedout last Friday on the counter in front of him.

And the receipt is sitting on top with hisname and number, in that damning red ink, glaring up at him.

(Where the hell is that meteor?)

And this is so much worse than he couldhave possibly imagined, he thought he could take the rejection. Yes, his pride maybe slightly bruised but that’s nothing that can’t heal, like it has done somany times before, but no. Not with her. Because there’s something about her,something he sees in her, that makes him feel as though he should be with heralways. Otherwise, it’s just not right.

(And seeing that receipt back on his desk,that unmistakable sign of rejection, feels weirdly as though he’s lostsomething precious, something he’s never truly had.)

He can feel his face getting red as hestares at the receipt, feeling stupid, so, so stupid, and he ducks his head,reaching up to take the book and the ridiculous slip of paper sitting on top.

“Of course, I’m sorry, just let me –”

And then he nearly jumps out of his skin,his heart flying back into his throat, because something warm touches his hand.He looks up, startled, and it’s her, one pale, slender hand gently covering oneof large, tan ones, stopping him in his tracks.

Red looks up at her, confused, and seesthe kindness in her blue eyes, warm and happy.

(What is she doing?)

“Flip it over.”

He frowns as she removes her hand, noddingencouragingly at the receipt and he slowly reaches out to turn it over and sees–

Elizabeth

916-7801

And his heart takes off, perhaps somewherein his mouth now, beating hard and fast. Her name, her number. Both there, inneat blue font, easily the loveliest thing he’s ever seen. He looks up at her,beaming.

“Oh,” he breathes, and it sounds like ahappy sigh.

She giggles, the sound quiet and delicatein the empty library. “I do want to return that book though,” she quips, and helaughs, nodding as he tosses the book carelessly onto his desk, the first inhis daily pile of books to check back into the system.

He’ll do it later.

(No one will notice but him.)

“So, you thought I wouldn’t like you?” sheasks curiously after a moment, leaning forward to place her elbows on thecounter and rest her chin in her hand. He looks at her in wonder.

(Is this really happening?)

“Well, yeah,” he mutters, managing to tearhis gaze away from her and rub the back of his neck awkwardly. “Giving you mynumber was a spur of the moment thing and honestly pretty risky. I was afraid itwas kind of out of the blue.”

“Oh, not to me,” she says earnestly, shakingher head. “I’ve been checking you out for weeks, haven’t you noticed?”

He blinks stupidly at her. She’s beenwhat?

“In fact, I thought that –” she nods at the receipt “– was a little overdue.”

And he’s smiling now, not necessarily becausehe understands her – because why on Earth would she like him? – but because shelooks so pleased with herself at her library puns, clearing prepared andbursting from her as she struggles to smother her giggles.

“And how long have you been working onthose?” he asks, trying to hold back his own chuckles.

“Oh, a few days, you know, just in case Ihad to ask you out myself. Wanted to try and impress you with my knowledge oflibrary jargon,” and she barely makes it through the end of her sentence beforeshe finally gives in, her shoulders shaking in a beautiful, ringing laugh. Hehas to sit and watch her for a moment.

“Well, color me impressed,” he sayscheekily, when she’s quieted, grinning at her. “Now, would you like to shareany more or can we go ahead and schedule a date now?”

Liz smiles blindingly at him. “Friday?”

Red feels his face nearly burst in twowith his answering grin. “Friday.”

She nods, and pushes off the desk, headingto the front door. He misses her immediately.

(Friday seems so far away.)

“Oh, and maybe don’t make any plans forSaturday,” she’s calling back to him all of a sudden and his eyebrows areraising on his forehead in surprise.

“Uh, why?” he manages to call back, hisvoice maybe a little squeakier than he would have liked.

“Because I might want to renew you,” shesays easily, and he can hear the laughter in her voice. “And, come Monday, youmight even have to charge me a late fee.”

He’s still laughing when the door closesbehind her.

(And when he tells her he loves her, noone notices but her.

And that’s enough for Red.)

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wherearemyglassesbro · 6 years

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Hetalia night at the museum AU

I have made time to do this! I have no idea why I immediately fell in love with this AU but I did and now I an hopelessly invested lol

strap in this is gonna be LONG

I must tag @gsnkhurray because they’re the one who posted about this originally! :)

So to start this all off, Ive kinda thought about each of the characters having their own elaborate exhibits. Yao would probably have the nicest one of all. He’d be set up in a very detailed scene, probably sitting on the floor with parchment laid out in front of him as if he as writing. He would be wearing traditional Chinese clothing, something like this:

I know that this photo isn’t the best photo but the guy is standing up and he shows it off the best! Yao would probably be surrounded by all sorts of artifacts, jewelry and weapons! You can go around his exhibit and read all sots of things about ancient China

Francis was made in a Canadian wax figure factory and the lady who painted his face was French too! But of course, the wax figures in the museum have all adapted to the era they are supposed to be from. I imagine him in something pretty like this:

Personally I like the pink one better, I think it suits him more! Anything from the Rococo/Baroque era works! French fashion has always been beautiful really. His exhibit isn’t that big and it has a velvet rope out in front so no one can touch anything. He’s stood in a room that fits the 1700s, holding his powdered wig as if he’s about to put it on, his hair pulled into a low ponytail with a ribbon to match his waistcoat. You can tell he’s pretentious just staring at him in his little room full of expensive things, a fake window that shines light behind him so he kinda look a like he glows. There’s a description of clothing from the 1700s outside his exhibit with flyers that anyone can take with sewing patterns so you can learn to make your own waistcoat. The only thing wrong with his exhibit is that it hasn’t been dusted in a few weeks…

Antonio’s display is across the hall from Fran’s since the ‘fashion throughout history’ exhibits are small and are all in one long hallway on the way to the World War One & World War Two displays, just to give people something to look at on their way there.

Toni had probably got some beautiful pantaloons on cause why not. I’m not too sure what the origin of pic is it might be Italy not Spain but that’s okay though. I just needed something like this! It looks a bit ridiculous but Toni thinks he looks great and will show off for the ladies from other displays. He’s seen himself in the bathroom mirror before while exploring museum when he was first was shipped in. His display is meant to look like he’s standing outside on a dirt path with little stones embedded into walls beside him, like he’s standing between two houses. The only thing he has next to his display is a plaque with the era his outfit it from and what country he’s from.

Lovi & Feli will be kinda dressed like this! With puffy sleeves from the renaissance era. I know for a fact that this is Italian cause it literally says ‘Italian Gentleman’ on it.

Doesn't he just look spiffy? The two of them will share a display, one of them wearing an outfit more like this and the other will have the cape and hat too to top it all off. Their display will kinda look like one of those ballrooms from Romeo and Juliet but much smaller. They’ll have sewing patterns available along with a plaque outside their display too! I cant imagine that they like sharing their display cause not only is it crowded with both of them there but Lovino will probably want the most attention he can get. Lovi finds many of the kids that go by to be repulsive, he hates how they laugh at his clothes but Feliciano is very accepting, wishing he could move for the little ones.

Y’all thought Ivan was gonna be in some state-of-the-art space suit but no ma’am. This here is one of the first space suits ever:

Does this look safe to you? Nope. But this is what he wears. He’ll have a speaker on the inside that makes it seem like he’s talking in Russian to those watching him as he stands in a ‘space station’. For the kids, there’s an interactive display with touch screens an buttons so they can design their own ship and launch it! Ivan is a favorite among the kiddos and adults but when he comes alive, he finds it very difficult to move in his stiff suit. When he talks, he has to take the helmet off too otherwise his voice is all muffled and strange sounding.

Mattie is part of the WW1 exhibit! He will be sharing his display with ten others! They’re all standing to model uniforms or sitting in model planes. Matt’s would probably be the uniform on the far left, top row.

He kinda stays in his own exhibit at night but otherwise, he likes being around Artie. There’s a screen by his exhibit to show how his plane flew and some other video clips of soldiers running on foot or waving to the camera. Matt thought one of the soldiers in the video was actually him once when he was first brought to the museum. Honestly? He loves being there. He was brought in from a smaller Canadian museum to the US with the other models.

Kiku’s display would be super cool I think, with all kinds of old swords or katanas along with other models to show off traditional dresses and armor.

I think it’d be great if Kiku was the main guy in the display, the middle of the room, showing off an outfit like this. There would be a voice recording of a woman explaining what the samurai did and how they fought echoing through the room and people could o around and look at artifacts from this time. Kiku would still be soft spoken of course but he does like how the kids, teens and adults all look at him in awe

Artie’s a model for the British navy. There’s a really cool boat exhibit in a museum I went to about 4 months ago so he’d fit in there pretty well! He’s gonna be wearing the one in the middle since that one seems to be the most formal:

His exhibit is actually pretty cool, it has a movie playing at all times, showing the successes of the British navy and little facts about things like how many ships they have or battles won by the navy alone. Do kids get anything here? not really, maybe just a pamphlet showing off diagrams of the inside of some of the ships. There are boats that people can go inside but Arthur’s isn't one of them.

I couldn't do a night at the museum post and NOT include the Nordics guys! They’d be in traditional viking wear like this:

I know it is just a cosplay and not legit but its the best I could find okay? In their exhibit, its meant to look like a big boat, the floors and walls are made of old wood! There’s a projection of the sky on the ceiling too. The Nordics are set up on a stage all together, showing off what was common to wear back then. Their whole exhibit room is a ‘History of Vikings’ thing so its full of old shields, flags, helmets, etc.

Alfred’s display is pretty cool too. He and maybe six others would be set up to look like they're planning for battle in uniforms like these!

He gets really excited about kids at his display. There are old maps for people to see and battle plans hung on the walls with old muskets and a canon in the center of the room that has a speaker and smoke machine inside so it makes a soft ‘boom’ with smoke blowing out every twenty minutes or so

HCs:

•Alfred tries to ride different animals, like the dinosaurs and lions

•Mattie hates how he looks like Al

•Al doesn’t like Artie too much cause he’s British. The first time they met, Al screamed and tried to shoot him “Taxation without representation!”

•Francis loves the animals that come alive, he lets the birds sit on his shoulders

•Ivan always has trouble taking his space helmet off and needs assistance. Occasionally, the speaker in his suit will go off but there’s nothing he can do about that

•Yao made the security guard teach him how to play the acoustic guitar since all of the traditional Chinese instruments are locked up. He’s doing very good! He wants to teach other people do play like him

•Arthur laughs at Antonio’s clothes all the time “Ha! Balloon thighs!” “¡Puta!”

•Kiku doesn’t talk much but he likes being around the others. He hates when they touch him though so he smacks their hands away

•Fran and Artie fence for fun

•Artie sword fought with Kiku once. Never again. Artie wasn’t ready

•Alfred really loves pranking the security guards, hiding their stuff in random places and blasting loud music over the museum speakers

•^^Ivan hates this music, he says that’s it hurts his ears but no one understands

•The was figures are doing their best to learn English since it’s the dominant language in the museum burn it isn’t going too well since they’re all stubborn

•The Italian twins bicker frequently and everyone knows to just leave them alone cause of you get too close, you might get smacked from the hand gestures

•Everyone gets jealous when they see the security guard eating

•Yao laughed when he saw himself in the mirror for the first time. He liked it a lot cause he didn’t know how he looked for the longest time

•^^Francis would spend all of eternity in front of a mirror, he loves it

•Matthew loves hanging around the other WW1 figures cause they’re from the same era and the same exhibit so they have more to talk about “Did you see that girl with the pigtails earlier? She stuck her gum to the wall!”

•They’ll all get together and gamble sometimes with the change they find on the ground in the halls

•If you’re the security guard, watch out cause you’ll be in for a ride

#hetalia #aph #au #Hetalia headcanons #APH Russia #aph america #aph france #aph england #aph china #aph canada #aph nordics #:)#this was so much fun #my hands hurt from typing #it was worth it though

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carryonmyswansong · 5 years

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Questionnaire - About Me, pt 2

Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? This might be weird but I don’t even think about my, closet. Its sitting open at the moment, and has been for several weeks now...

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? and the lotions, too....

Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? Yes.

Where is your next vacation? Does homeless camping this past summer count? Cuz otherwise “vacation” isn’t really something I can afford.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Nope. Never saw one I wanted to take lol Plus I don’t have the balls to do it lol

Who do you think reads these? Whoever is scrolling through their dash when I hit post.

Do you have a calendar in your room? Nope, not unless the one on my laptop counts

Where are you? In my room, in Jackson, MI.

What’s your plan for the day? A little more blogging and then I’m gonna go to bed.

Are you reading any books right now? Does fanfiction count? Cuz yes.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I do not.

Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes I have. I love camping.

Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Yeah, sometimes

There are more under the Read More. Had to break the list up to include the Read More cuz it was hella long otherwise.

Do you chew your pens and pencils? not technically. but I will hold my drawing tablet pen in my mouth so I don’t lose it. Who ever thought to make those things as dark as they are, instead of a bright neon color, needs to be throttled...

What is your “Song of the Week”? Pretty much anything from the Teen Wolf soundtrack

Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Why wouldn’t it be? Its even ok if he wants to wear a dress and become a princess. I hate gender roles/rules….

Do you still watch cartoons? Yeap

What’s your favorite love movie? The Last Unicorn, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (with Gary Oldman *swoons*), and The Boondock Saints. This answer hasn’t changed in well over a decade Just the order of the three.

What do you drink with dinner? Usually milk or water.

What do you dip Chicken Nuggets in? I often don’t. I do like sweet and sour sauce though.

What is your favorite food/cuisine? Sadly, since my ED relapse, I don’t have the same taste or passion for food, anymore. It doesn’t ignite the pleasure centers of my brain anymore.. I either I “don’t hate it” or I do. *shrugs*

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Same as my favorite’s list. I usually watch The Last Unicorn like once a year or every other year, depending on if I remember to.

Last person you hugged/kissed? not a person; My cast ZahZah

Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Girl Scouts. Very briefly.

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Maybe

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Its been a very long time

Can you change the oil on a car? I’ve never been shown how. I’m sure I could, once I learned. I love car stuff.

Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope. I don’t drive.

Run out of gas? Same answer as above. I’ve been in the car when both happened, but I wasn’t driving.

Favorite kind of sandwich? ham, turkey, roast beef, bacon, with variations on veggies and sauces...

Best thing to eat for breakfast? Glass of milk, and leftovers from dinner the night before.

What is your usual bedtime? I’m 33, and unemployed. I don’t have a bed time. (The last time I filled this thing in, I was 26 lol)

Are you lazy? No. I’m disabled, so some days, I can’t do much because of my illness.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I didn’t celebrate Halloween that often as a kid. I dressed up as a mermaid, a witch, and a vampire…. As an adult, I dressed up as a fairy once.

Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope. I wish.

Which are better, Legos or Lincoln Logs? Legos.. hands down!

Are you stubborn? Yup.

Who is better…Leno or Letterman? CONAN! I don’t care for most…

Ever watch soap operas? I use to. They are kinda dumb… I prefer the teen dramas

Afraid of heights? Afraid? No. Am I cautious? You bet your ass I am.

Sing in the car? Only way to travel!

Dance in the shower? No, but I sing.

Dance in the car? Sometimes.

Ever used a gun? Not really, no.

Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes, but I like them anyways.

Is Christmas stressful? I hate Christmas. I prefer to celebrate Yule.

Ever eat a pierogi? Yes. Cheesy potato. Yum.

Major annoyance right now? The fact that every time someone gets sick where my roommate works, he brings it home and I’m down for the count for a month at a time...

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Country music star, scientist, unicorn trainer.

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes I do.

Ever have a deja-vu feeling? More times than I’d like to remember.

Do you take a vitamin daily? No, but I drink at least one glass of milk.

Wear slippers? nah

Wear a bath robe? Use to. No idea where mine ended up

What do you wear to bed? whatever is comfortable

Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? None, if I can help it. I prefer Wal-Mart, though. I also shop at Meijer’s as well.

Nike or Adidas? Neither. I’m not one for sports brands. I prefer Vans, Etnes, or Volcom.

Cheetos Or Fritos? Depends on my mood. I like both, but I will eat Cheetos over Fritos more often than not.

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? To be honest? Neither.

Ever hear of, “gorp”? When I answered this the first time, I had to look that word up. I didn’t retain the info.... the word means “trail mix”... lol

Ever taken karate? nope

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Can you curl your tongue? Yes, and I can also do the three leaf clover thing, as well.

Ever won a spelling bee? No, but I can spell archeologist by heart now haha

Ever cried because you were so happy? Yes, I actually have.

Own any record albums? Records? No. I wish.

Own a record player? Same answer as above.

Regularly burn incense? I would, but my room mate is allergic.

Ever been in love? Yes.

Hot tea or cold tea? Depends on the flavor. I will drink my tea if it gets cold. I love both.

Tea or coffee? hmmm… Depends on the time of day. I drink more tea than coffee, but I do like both.

Favorite kind of cookie? Oatmeal chocolate chip. Yes. That’s one flavor. Do it. You’ll thank me later. ;)

Can you swim well? Yes I can.

Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose? Yes I can.

Are you patient? Usually

Ever won a contest? Yes

Ever had plastic surgery? Not sure if this counts as cosmetic since it was helpful, but when I was a baby, I had to have the frenulum under my tongue clipped because it hindered my suckling.

Which are better black or green olives? Neither.

Can you knit or crochet? Yes. I can do both.

Wash room or bathroom? Bathroom

Do you want to get married? Yes

Who was your High School crush? Lordy, I don’t actually know... that was a long time ago.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No. That’s dumb.

Do you have kids? No. I have a couple of angel-babies though… But I do help co-parent 4 kids. And I’m a godmommy to one of them...

Do you want kids? Yes.

What kind of mom are you? Openminded, but accountable.

Do you miss anyone right now? My grandmother and all my friends in SC. I haven’t seen most of them for like 8 years….

Who do you want to see right now? Same answer as above.

#written by CarryOnMySwanSong #About CarryOnMySwanSong

0 notes

aniseandspearmint · 7 years

Note

So with all that Naruto you reblogged I thought - mentor swap, Naruto gets Obi Wan and Anakin gets Kakashi, how do you think that would go?

Hmmmm, let’s see... Let’s put this in the context of a fusion, with the Naruto verse characters transposed into star wars.

First, some background, setting the stage if you will.

Jedi Knight Kakashi Hatake is the son of retired Knight Sakumo Hatake, and I’m thinking their story is just as tragic this time around. Sakumo went into the diplomatic corps after he met Kakashi’s mother, and was eventually ‘responsible’ for inciting major genocidal war on some planet because of a misread situation and it was either hand his diplomatic team over to be executed or start a war. The story was leaked to the press, and he was branded a galactic pariah overnight. Cue terrible Naruto canon running it’s course.

Kakashi, having no living family, is taken into the creche and our little genius vows to be the perfect jedi, and follow all the rules and never leave the order like his father did, because clearly that was a bad choice for his father (because Kakashi is not Kakashi without his crippling father issues).

I’m thinking he’s a year or two older than Obi-wan, but maybe in the same clan? IDK how that works actually. My memory of the Apprentice books is like 18 years old, lols. Say it works that way, anyway. They know each other.

But while Obi-wan is solidly in the middle top of his class, Kakashi _soars_ above the rest. The the teachers can’t keep up with him, and by the time the youngling is nine he’s already taking classes meant for children five or six years older.

It’s a relief when Sentinel Knight Minato Namikaze bumps into the kid in a hall one day and a padawan bond snaps into place like lightning.

Kakashi grows up under the care of a alternately fluffheaded and terrifyingly intelligent Knight, who cheerfully pulls him into trouble and teaches him that sometimes the rules need to be knocked out and shoved out an airlock (and that his father made the only choice a Jedi could, plight of the many over the few be damned. War would have happened no matter the choice he made).

Kakashi and Knight Namikaze spend most of their time trolling the rim for pirates and slavers, often joined by Master Healer Tsunade and her Padawan Rin Nohara (she likes to keep her hand in the fight despite being next in line for Temple Healing Master) and by Sentinel Knight Kushina Uzumaki (a Noorian woman with long fiery red hair and violet and orange-red striped eyes) and her Padawan Obito.

The Padawans figure out pretty quickly that there's Something Going On between Minato and Kushina, and almost as quickly determine that they’re *gasp* married. It takes Obito and Rin sitting on Kakashi for a while to defeat his kneejerk impulse to tattle to the temple, but they manage to talk him out of it.

((“Master Tsunade clearly knows,” Rin argues, “And if she knows, so do Master Orochimaru and Master Jiraiya, and they haven’t told yet so it’s okay, dammit Kakashi, stop squirming! Ow, why are your elbows so pointy?!?!”))

Then there’s a massive natural disaster on a little no name border planet, and their team is the closest available help for the endangered research station there. Rocks fall, mud slides, and Obito never makes it off planet. (of course, that’s only what they think happened) Kakashi is injured, and receives an experimental bionic eye from the locals (it’s not as cool as the sharingan, I know, but I’m at a loss as to how to fit creepy magic eyes into SW).

Kushina is heartbroken, and, after a very long conversation with Minato, takes a leave of absence from the Order. She sets herself up in one of the small satellite temples on Coruscant, far from the main temple, and spends a lot of time in the salle doing moving meditation.

Then Master Orochimaru Falls, and Tsunade leaves the order. Rin is transferred to another Knight, this one greener than grass. A few months later, Rin and the Knight are brought back to the temple for their pyres. A stupid misjudged situation, and Kakashi is suddenly alone. (Note: Hey, at least he doesn’t have to deal with being the one to put a hand through her chest this time?)

Minato, dealing with a grieving Padawan and grieving himself, sticks closer to the temple for a while, taking few off planet missions. He also spends a lot of his spare time dropping in to visit his wife friend Kushina.

It’s really not a surprise when Kushina gets pregnant a year or so later, is it?

Fast forward a little, and a mysterious attack on the satellite temple the night Kushina was due to give birth ends with not only Minato and Kushina dead, but nearly every living person at that temple. Kakashi is left holding their son.

Naruto is accepted into the creche with no fuss, though he is haloed in scandal, because his parents broke the code.

Kakashi wavers. He’s not quite old enough to go through his trial, but he can’t bare the thought of calling another Knight ‘Master’. But then, an offer comes from Master Drallig, and he takes it gratefully, vanishing into the faceless ranks of the Temple Guard for a time. (I’m pulling on a headcanon here, that says the Temple Guard still maintain identities outside of their jobs, and can and do retire after a while, because that kind of existence is not permanently maintainable for sentient minds. Otherwise, hey look, Jedi ANBU!)

Time marches on, and years pass. Kakashi buries himself in his job to the exclusion of nearly everything else, copes by adopting bits of friends personality traits, gets pounced on regularly by this crazy Guardian named Gai, and tries to find his footing without all the people he loves.

Meanwhile, there are assholes everywhere, and as it happens, the current creche master is such a person. A bastion of upholding the code, they see Naruto as a giant stain on the face of the order, conceived and born out of breaking the code as he was. They treat Naruto badly. Not badly enough to get called on it mind you, the child is never outright harmed, but neglected compared to the other younglings, yes.

And children take their cues from the adults around them. This version of Naruto is perhaps not as mistreated as his ninja world counterpart, but he grows up just as lonely. Still, he’s not called Sunshine Child for nothing! He’s still Naruto. Still unfailingly optimistic and bright.

But with the creche master convinced that such a child does not deserve to be a knight, he grows up ever so slightly sabotaged. He’s awful at traditional meditation (get’s it from his mother) and he doesn’t do well sitting in front of a screen in a classroom for hours a day.

The year he turns twelve, another child is brought into the temple. Naruto feels him the second their ship touches down on the landing pad outside, though he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, not yet. Class isn’t even an afterthought. He’s got to find out what that whirlpool in the force is!

At this point, Naruto is an expert at dancing around the temple surveillance, and in no time at all he’s face to face with a younger boy in strange roughly spun clothing, sitting outside the council chamber doors.

And Naruto being Naruto, he immediately beams at the boy, and rattles off a greeting, and launches into questions.

((”Hi! I’m Initiate Naruto Uzumaki! Who’re you? Your so bright! Have you come to be trained? You look a little old, but I’ve heard that Knight Vos was like, eleven when he got searched and brought to the temple, and you don’t look that old, so you should be fine!”))

Hearing about a child even older than him getting to be Jedi student soothes several fears that had been gathering in the back of Anakin’s mind, just a little, and soon enough he and Naruto are cheerfully chattering at one another, trading stories (Anakin gets a glimpse of what temple life is going to be like from a child close to his age, and Naruto hears quite a lot about podracers and a very nice girl named Padme)

So when Qui-gon and Obi-wan sweep out of the Council chambers, Qui-gon heading off to find a change of clothes, Obi-wan steps to the side and heads for where they left Anakin, to tell him the council wishes to see him now. He rounds the corner and stops bemusedly watching for a moment as Anakin gestures expansively in the middle of a story about the race he won, an older blond, human looking, boy in initiate robes exclaiming excitedly.

((”That’s amazing, Ani! Podracing’s illegal on Coruscant, so I’ve never seen it except for a couple clips on the holonet, but we’ve got swoopbikes! Those go really fast too, and you can catch some really cool races down in level 78!” Naruto enthuses. Before he can invite Ani to come the next time he sneaks out to see one, a soft ‘ahem’ interrupts him.

Whirling around, both boys cringe just a little at the senior Padawan eying them.

“The council is ready to see you, Anakin.” he shooes the boy towards the large doors, watches to see him go in, then turns to the initiate inching away in a not very sneaky manner.

“Odd, Initiate, I was under the impression that swoopbike races were as illegal as podraces here?” He asks dryly, eyeing the boy up and down, cataloging the child’s appearance from the sun bright hair to in the marks on his cheeks and the blue and orange striped eyes.

A Noorian then. Obi-wan is suddenly fiercely reminded of Tahl. Caught up in the thought as he is, plus his Master’s words a few moments ago in the Council chambers, he doesn’t notice the way the force seems to pause for a moment, like a canine pricking its ears at a new and interesting sound.

“Er, well. Um-” Naruto tries, only for the Padawan to shake his head and wave him off.

“Go on, I know for a fact you should be in class right now. I imagine you’ll get enough trouble from your teachers.” He makes another shooing motion.

Naruto doesn’t have to be told twice! He’s gone in a flash, vanishing around the corner.

And unnoticed by both, the force churns a little and spins in his wake, tendrils reaching out to both Obi-wan and Naruto almost thoughtfully, if a powerful omnipresent energy could be described as thoughtful.))

The council visit goes slightly better for this Anakin. Talking with Naruto, meeting a child only a little older than him, talking and laughing together, and hearing that he’s hardly the only child to be brought to the temple past the perfect age settles him.

The council is still not all together pleased by him, and their own fears do still color their interactions with him, but not to the degree they might have. Instead of an outright refusal to train him, there is a different choice made.

((”Deliberate, the council must.” The old tiny master chirps. Then he taps a few lines into the arm of his seat, and a moment later the doors reopen to admit Qui-gon and Obi-wan. He repeats the words for their benefit, and continues. “Into your care the boy is placed, Master Qui-gon for now. And return to Naboo, you and Padawan Kenobi must. But not alone, you will go. Another Knight the council will send.”

Anakin listens to this, a bit confused. But, well, a maybe is better than a no, he supposes.

“Who?” Master Qui-gon asks, brow furrowing as he tries to remember who is in the temple and not on the injured list or already assigned.

“Knight Kakashi Hatake has just returned from a long term mission.” Mace speaks up, long fingers gracefully dancing across the arm of his own chair, doubtlessly informing the knight of his sudden, new orders. “We believe his skill set will be much help on this mission.

Qui-gon and Obi-wan trade a look. ‘Just returned from a long term mission’ might as well be code for a reassigned Temple Guard or Shadow, they both know. And Obi-wan remembers that name, image of a small boy with sleepy dark eyes and coarse silver hair spring to the forefront of his mind.

“Meet you tomorrow, at the transport, Knight Hatake will.”))

Kakashi has just been summarily booted out of the Temple Guard meanwhile. Twelve years is about six years longer than most humans go in the guard, full stop, no breaks.

He might be a little confused and indignant about this. It seems a fact of life that Kakashi is a poorly socialized, bad at personing person in every world he exists in. This one is no exception.

He’s just trying to find his feet and figure out what exactly regualr Knights are supposed to do, when his personal com pings, and he is informed that he’s to be on the transport pad bright and early tomorrow, as extra support for a Master Qui-gon Jinn and senior Padawan Obi-wan Kenobi.

((Kakashi eyes the missive like it’s going to sprout a virus and eat his PC any second now. Then he tilts his head back a little, thoughtfully.

Kenobi, Kenobi, where does he know that name from?

A reedy human youngling with coppery red hair and defiant blue eyes swims up from the depths of his memory. Wait, shouldn’t Obi-wan be twenty-five by now? What in the sith hells is he still doing as a padawan? Most humans got knighted around twenty or twenty-two.

Kakashi had been marked down as passing his trials at nineteen.

Well, he supposed he’d find out tomorrow.

Picking himself up off the couch he ambled towards the bedroom he rarely actually used and idly threw several of the new robes he’d been issued in a travel sack.))

Kakashi is awkward around Anakin, at first. He’s not really interacted much with kids, in his defense! The Temple Guard really isn’t supposed to interact with anyone. They just, well, guard?

Anakin is fascinated though. Qui-gon is busy for most of the trip to Naboo, in conference with the Queen, and Anakin get’s the feeling that Obi-wan doesn't like him very much, so that leaves Kakashi to talk to, and ask all the questions he couldn’t ask Naruto or Qui-gon about.

Slowly, when the kid doesn’t immediately quiz him on his soft squishy tragic past, but just wants to know what kind of things a he’s going to need to learn to catch up, Kakashi relaxes. He even has a laugh startled out of him when the kid viciously mutters a nasty string of Huttese upon learning he’ll have to take a whole slew of aptitude tests and won’t be allowed to fly any kind of ship before twelve, and then only supervised.

((Kakashi can be forgiven for not noticing the way the force swirls idly around the two of them, rather like a cat eyeing up a new toy. He’s never been the most gifted at sensing the force, especially after his family after Master Minato and Kushina had died.

Anakin feels it, but Anakin always feels the force. It’s like air, always there for him. Someday he’ll be trained to narrow his senses enough to pick out fine detail in the force, but for now sensing nuance is beyond him.

So neither one feel the weight of consideration upon them, the questing brushes along their souls.))

Sadly, for all that Kakashi’s presence on the mission does save many lives, Qui-gon Jinn’s life is not among them. He stands with Obi-wan behind a humming energy wall, helpless to stop the sith from impaling the Master.

He and Obi-wan, together, take down Maul. Obi-wan bisects him, Kakashi takes his head off. Both are present for Qui-gon’s last words, his plea for Obi-wan to train Anakin.

Naboo is freed, Qui-gon is dead. Anakin saved the day in space, and Kakashi and Obi-wan fought and killed a sith. A real, live sith.

In the ensuing havoc, Kakashi gets swept up in routing trade federation lackeys and it’s not until the council representatives show up that he sees Anakin again.

He and Obi-wan have just come from meeting Yoda, giving their verbal reports, and Kakashi backing up Obi-wan when he pleads/demands to be given Anakin as a Padawan.

Anakin is waiting just outside the door, having been told by Obi-wan to wait.

He looks up as they come out, his eyes meet Kakashi’s one uncovered eye and the force comes down on them like a pouncing Pittin. A durasteel force bond snaps into place faster than they can blink, to the shock of all involved.

Everyone just kind of stares for a moment in silence before Kakashi mutters several choice curses he’d picked up from Anakin on the trip to Naboo.

The force wills what it wills.

Knight Kakashi Hatake will train Anakin Skywalker.

Force help them both.

((Obi-wan is Knighted, and set adrift.

This... Well, Obi-wan is an odd mix of pleased and guilty for being pleased, and sad, because he couldn’t even do the last thing his father Master asked of him. Logically he knows that this has nothing to do with him, the force willed it and all that, but emotionally, he feels like a failure.

So, while Kakashi and Anakin slowly orbit one another and find some kind of balance with each other, Obi-wan fields comm calls from concerned friends (none of whom are in the Temple right now) and slowly packs up his and Qui-gon’s rooms. He can’t stay in them. Rooms of that size are reserved for Master/Padawan sets. He’s been politely informed he has two weeks to pack up and what his new room assignment is.

It hurts. Far far more than he ever would have thought to give all of the temple issued clothing and gear back to the quartermaster, and carefully pack away all of the collected detritus of his masters life.

A paper book of pressed flowers and leaves from his master’s own Padawan days. Holo upon holo of moments in his life stored on a half dozen image displays.

A collection of blue pebbles in a line before the window in Qui-gon’s room, arranged from pale sky blue to a glittering blue black.

In the bedside drawer Obi-wan finds a handful of flimsy notes scrawled in Tahls spidery hand and he just- he needs to get some air.

And so he goes wandering. He has the vague thought of heading for the gardens, but no, his mind is elsewhere as he walks, and when he rouses himself from his thoughts, he finds himself outside one of the the initiate level salles.

And, well, he’s here now he supposes, so he goes in.

There’s a class in progress, older initiates by first glance, all spinning and weaving in pairs, movements fine and controlled as benefits students of an age to be chosen as Padawans.

A head of bright yellow catches his eyes, and he watches as the boy he saw talking to Anakin (force, had it only been seven days ago?) spins away, grinning widely, from the too telegraphed swing of the Zabraki girl he’s paired with.

And he feels the force prod at him, just a little.

Frowning to himself, he skirts the Salle and comes up beside the instructor, a towering Ithorian fmale.

“The Noorian boy, with the blond hair. Who is he?” He asks in an undertone, not wanting to draw more attention than he already had by wandering in during paired katas.

The Ithorian Jedi blinks large eyes placidly down at him for a moment, taking in his still shorn hair but lack of Padawan braid no doubt, before responding.

“Half Noorian. Naruto Uzumaki.” He rumbles.

“He’s very good. He moves quite well for a boy his age.” Obi-wan offers. Naruto certainly moved better than he did at twelve. At that age he’d started random growth spurts, and it always seemed that his body was never quite the size he was used to.

The Ithorian rumbled in agreement. “Yes. The child moves well. Very gifted in the martial ways. Pity.”

Obi-wan blinks in surprise. “Pity? Why pity? If he moves this well at so young an age, surely he’ll only improve.”

“Moving is about the only thing he does well. He’s bottom of his class in everything else. No Knight has expressed any interest, and with grades like that... Well, Agricorps, or Exploricorps perhaps. But not Knighthood.”

There is another, sharper prod from the force, and just like it’s happening right now, he can see Qui-gon walking away from him, taste the bitter disappointment of crushed hopes and dreams.

The force helpfully prods him again.

‘Oh Hell.’ He thinks, finally catching on. He has a sudden suspicion why he’s there. And, if he’s reading the currents eddying around him right, and the tendrils unfurling towards the half Noorian boy, he doesn’t actually have much of a choice in the matter.

There’s an almost smug thrum from the force.

Well, at least he’ll get to stay in his and Qui-gon’s rooms now? And... Naruto is such a bright shimmer in the force, like sunlight dancing across an ocean. He can’t help but think such a bright spirit would be welcome now.))

SO, Obi-wan caught on to his little force bond match up, unlike Kakashi. After glumly saying goodbye to any idea of peace and quiet (he does recall Naruto cheerfully talking about swoopbike races after all) he goes over after the kids are done with katas and taps Naruto on the shoulder.

Naruto turns around and BAM. Instant Padawan bond.

Naruto is ecstatic. Obi-wan is mostly tired. Cautiously happy, but tired.

The council is convened, and there is much arguing, oh I mean discussing, of what two instantly forming force bonds within days of each other could mean, but the force isn’t talking.

In a rare bout of wisdom and insight, the council decides that since Kakashi is only just come back from his ‘long term mission’ and doesn’t quite have the hang of being a normal (hah!) Jedi yet, and Obi-wan has only just been Knighted and is now saddled with a Padawan, the two of them should become a team.

Anakin and Naruto are far more excited about this that Obi-wan or Kakashi, as you can probably guess. Instant brothers and bffs.

Anakin grows up with a friend this time. Someone who is not an adult and is willing to help him catch up on the things he needs to know, even if Naruto doesn’t really like sitting still and paying attention to learning modules, and someone to show him all the ways to sneak out of the temple (there are a lot, unsurprisingly, mostly on the lower levels)

Naruto gets a bestie who doesn’t care one whit about who his parents were and how they broke the code. Someone who’s nearly as curious as he is, and willing to move with him instead of trying to get him to slow down. It’s amazing.

Eventually Naruto and Anakin befriend several other Padawans around their age. A Togruta girl named Sakura, and a human boy named Sasuke. Because Naruto is still a friend making dynamo once he gets going.

In this verse, Anakin tells his master when he and Padme secretly get married, because he’s heard Minato and Kushina’s story, and knows Kakashi won’t tell the council. Naruto and Obi-wan also get told, because they’re family, no matter how Obi-wan never says it.

When the war comes, Kakashi becomes a general in his own right, leading his own portion of the clone army. it doesn’t sit well with him, this army that was made in the jedi’s name by some unknown, and he’s quietly running his own investigation into things on the side.

Does he find out who’s really running things and about the ticking time bombs in the clones heads? I have no idea, but I hope so.

My steams kinda running out here bc it’s like 4AM here and this got so freaking long omg *facepalm* I meant this to be a quick what if/reply but i started typing and just could not stop. So here, have 4,000 odd words about a hypothetical Star Wars/Naruto fusion!

Other things that spun through my mind while I was working this out;

- Kakashi has a prototype special bionic eye instead of a whirly magic eye in this verse. He still needs to keep it covered, since the record function automatically activates when exposed to light.

- Once Kakashi and Obi-wan loosen up around each other the snark starts flying. OMG the snark. We’re talking epic levels of snark.

- Kakashi and Obi-wan fall into bed together at least three times, but ultimately decided to keep things purely platonic. They just don’t work as lovers.

- They find out they’ve both had relationships with Quinlan and Siri.

- Naruto and Anakin give Kakashi a plush canine every year on his birthday. (My way of working in the ninken pack)

- Kakashi knows really weird people. See: Knight Gai Maito, Jedi Shadow Anko Mitarashi, and other former temple guards ‘other people on the same long term mission’ Knight Genma Shiranui, Knight Raido Namiashi, etc.

- Kakashi get’s along pretty well with Padme. He can respect a woman who managed to rule a planet, become a senator, and still remain such a kick ass and take names kind of girl.

- Kakashi adores Ahsoka and thought it was freaking hilarious when she was sneakily assigned to Anakin.

- Naruto gets assigned a Padawan around the same time, but I don’t know who it should be. Konohamaru maybe? IDK that would be pretty funny.

- Obito eventually shows up as one of Palpatine’s apprentices. That revelation goes just as badly as you can imagine.

- Orochimaru (I’m picturing him as half Echani, half something unknown) swans in and out as a big bad, just like in canon. He probably teams up with Jenna Zan Arbor a couple times because they’re the same kind of crazy.

- Akatsuki may or may not be a thing with deep cover Shadow Itachi Uchiha working undercover (no massacre happened in this verse).

- Tsunade eventually rejoins the order and takes over the Medical Corps. She might find out about the chips in the clones heads, come to think about it. She seems like the kind of person who’d want to know just what the kriffing hell those things actually do. Control aggression her ass.

- Tsunade’s first Padawan, Shizune, is Sakura’s Master, but Sakura spends just as much time learning from Tsunade.

- Jiraiya is a Zeltron in this verse. He still writes porn under a pseudonym, which Kakashi reads. He still wrote a novel about a protagonist named Naruto, but this time about a brave Jedi Knight.

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footballleague0 · 7 years

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Questions about the Lions’ X-factors, Falcons fans and Takk’s possible coming out party

Good morning and welcome to Straight from the ’Beek! We’re just days away from the Falcons-Lions showdown in Motown – and you’ve got questions. Just remember that all opinions you see in this space are mine, unless otherwise noted.

So let’s have at ’em.

Kevin from Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, England

Hi. I came over the pond for the Packers game. Loved the stadium and experience but was frustrated as to how many people left early. I’d be there every minute of every game if I could. Why do people leave so early considering how quickly a game can change and that this could have a detrimental effect on the team’s performance on both sides of the ball? If your team is winning, stay and have a party!!

Matt: Thanks for writing, Kevin. Glad you had a great trip and experience at the new stadium – and that your Falcons won, too. When I got here, they told me that Falcons fans tend to arrive “later” to games. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s the traffic? Maybe it’s the tailgating? But you could use that excuse for any fan in any city rooting for any team. And to your question, why so many left early on Sunday night during the Packers game? Maybe they left, or maybe they were walking around the concourse. It’s tough to know for sure, but there definitely were more empty seats. Maybe they thought the game was in hand and wanted to get a jump on the traffic, I dunno. It was late Sunday/early Monday morning and most people have to work on Monday morning, but I get your point. They were there and loud when it counted, so there’s that. It was my first regular-season game here, so I’m withholding judgment.

Robert from Los Angeles, CA

Hey Beek! Love the column. Been reading since day 1. First time contributing. I would like to know who your X-factors, or players to watch, are on offense and defense for the game against the Detroit Lions. I personally think the defensive line can get pressure against a Detroit O-line that’s missing their left tackle from last year to injury. On offense, I think the RBs will have a good day in both the run and pass game. Thanks, Beek, keep doing what you’re doing. The app is my way of keeping up with my Falcons news from Los Angeles.

Matt: Appreciate it, Robert. I think we all know Matthew Stafford is pretty good and the Lions helped him out greatly by investing in the offensive line during the offseason. It’s helped the running game some as well as given him more protection, it appears. As far as X-factors go, I think you have to keep your eyes on receiver Golden Tate and defensive end Ziggy Ansah. Tate is a like a running back in the open field – he can extend plays because of he gets the tough yards after catches. If he doesn’t score, he moves the chains. And Ansah changes the complexion of that defense. He had 30 sacks in his first three years. He was hurt last year, but he looks like his old self – he had three sacks against the Giants on Monday night. If those two are quiet or non-factors Sunday, I really like the Falcons’ chances that much more.

Vince from Clarkston, GA

Beek, no question just a Big Thank You for this Q&A! You really hit the nail on the head for a lot of my thoughts and the questions that are sent in answers the ones I have. Also, thank you “Ryan from Lake in the Hills, IL” lol

Matt: Glad you’re enjoying it, Vince. I’m still waiting to hear back from Ryan.

Rutul from Mount Prospect, IL

Hi Beek. I would like to see Julio get his 1st touchdown of the season. Do you think he will be targeted more this week in red zone? This will be game 3 and Julio does not have a touchdown. I would like to see him leading the league in touchdowns for receivers.

Matt: I think you and most Falcons fans feel the same way, Rutul. I’m anticipating another big year from Julio Jones, so I think you’ll see him targeted plenty. I wouldn’t get caught up in the stats (unless you’re playing fantasy football and you have Jones on your team, of course). I think this team is focused on 2017 – and making that deep postseason run. Just my two cents.

Larry from Las Vegas, NV

Hey Beek, I love the column. My question is, why aren’t the tight ends used more in playmaking like they did with Tony Gonzalez? I think using the tight ends in short situations will free up big plays for our fantastic receivers.

Matt: I think Austin Hooper is a terrific tight end and is only going to get better, but to be fair, he’s no Tony Gonzalez. Not yet, anyway. That said, Larry, I think a lot of times offenses take what the defenses give them – and if Hooper is open, I’m pretty sure Matt Ryan will find him. (See Chicago in Week 1.) Thanks for reading!

John from Buies Creek, NC

What name for Sanu at QB? Just watch the video and let him tell y’all. AGENT 12!!

Matt: I think that name is as good as any for that formation and thanks for the video link, John. And in case some of you Falcons fans missed it, coach Dan Quinn is open to suggestions on what to call it. Check it out. Thanks for writing, John.

Brian from Clarkston, GA

What’s up Beek! Rise Up! Quick question, what does CMB stand for in defensive stats? Thank you, sir!

Matt: That would be combined tackles – tackles plus assists.

Kevin from Sierra Madre, CA

You are right about Dwight Freeney being 37 years of age. I would prefer JT Jones or Nordly Capi from the Giants. Fans only remember Freeney from his past. The present is we don’t need to pay Freeney’s salary. Let’s just hope Vic comes back soon. Let Mr. Freeney become a defensive coach for the Falcons instead.

Matt: To be fair, you have to trust the Falcons on this one, Kevin. They work out the players, do their due diligence and they’re the professional talent evaluators. I think it all depends on the extent of Vic Beasley’s injury and how long they anticipate him being out. All we know right now is that he’ll miss this week. If it’s a month, well, they might move to Plan B, whatever that is.

James from Decatur, GA

It’s been 40 years since I put on the pads, but if DQ needs an outside backer willing to suit up, please forward to right people that I have one good game left in me.

Matt: Sure thing, James.

Kit from Canton, GA

Matt, didn’t hear anything about Wes Schweitzer this week, which is a good thing for an offensive lineman. Must have been a huge improvement. Can you comment on him?

Matt: You’re right, Kit. When you’re an offensive lineman and they’re not talking about you after a game, it’s almost always a good sign.

Lisa from Flowery Branch, GA

What’s up Beek. My question is, is there a chance that a podcast could be in the fans’ future? I for one, really enjoyed them. Second, I wish that we could have an option to listen to DQ’s full press conference, instead of just clips. This girl from the Branch like to hear the full story from my favorite team. And my last subject, is this the week we see Takk Attack? I think he will get his first sack in Detroit. Do you agree?

Matt: Lisa, nothing is set in stone regarding a podcast, but it’s on our radar. We’re making a lot of great changes here and whatever we do, we want to do it right. So stay tuned on that front. As far as the full DQ presser goes, you can watch it in a number of places, including Twitter, Periscope and Facebook. Check out the team pages. And to your last question, I think this would be the perfect week for Takkarist McKinley’s coming out party, especially with Vic Beasley sidelined. We shall see.

Jim from Raleigh, NC

Beek, what happened to the injury report? In the past, it’s always been posted on Wed., Thurs., and Fri.

Matt: Check it out here, Jim. We’ve got you covered.

Justin from Waco, GA

Hey Matt, I know it’s early in the season, but do you think the Falcons are the best team in the NFC South? I believe they are even though Tampa Bay looks much improved. I actually believe the Falcons are still the best team in the NFC and until someone proves otherwise we all should believe it.

Matt: I think it’s early, Justin. And I say that because we’re still trying to figure out the identities of all 32 teams – you can only base so much off last year and each week we learn a little more. Obviously, injuries can change all of that in one play, too. That all said, I think the Falcons had one of the most complete rosters coming into the season and Sunday night against the Packers was a good sign to see that offense is clicking again. I do agree with you two games in. They play the 2-0 Lions on the road Sunday and a win in Motown would only reinforce what most analysts, columnists and so-called experts already think about the Falcons.

Joni from Panama City, FL

Hey Beek! My question pertains to Matt Ryan. Is it possible, we fans might see him fake an end-around run and score when close to the goal line? I don’t think defenses would be prepared for that. I’ve wanted to see that many a time throughout his career.

Matt: Joni, I think with this offense – with all of its personnel groups, motion and formations – you should expect to see anything, maybe even a fake end-around run by Matt Ryan. Why not.

Travis from Greenbelt, MD

Who do you HONESTLY think will come out victorious on Sunday? I personally think the Falcons will come out on top but it will be a close one.

Matt: I’m always honest here, Travis. And I think the Falcons will win. I think it’ll be close until the end – and then they’ll pull away.

Kellan from Dayton, OH

Hey Beek, do you believe Freeney is the best available DE and if so, do you see us bringing him back in?

Matt: Really good defensive ends are almost as valuable as quarterbacks in this league, Kellan. If they’re walking the streets, there’s usually a reason. It will all depend on the ling-term prognosis for Vic Beasley. I think the Falcons would like to see some production from the players they have now and if they can get to the bye week (Week 5), my guess is that they’ll make a determination then on what to do. In a perfect world Beasley comes back next week healthy. Stay tuned.

David from Newnan, GA

Hey, Matt. I really like and read this every week. I think you seem to answer the same questions every week and it would be nice if you’d answer some different questions. Like maybe the questions I have asked the last two weeks. Really does not matter because l will continue to read. I promise I will never write to you ever again. Thank you for your time, good luck and goodbye.

Matt: Hey, David. I try to get the best and most interesting questions in every day — but I do not answer every single question submitted. Thanks for the kind words, thanks for reading and keep asking those questions!

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