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agentrouka-blog · 5 months

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i always love your responses because i think you do such a good job explaining things (even though some of it is just common sense)... so i was wondering if you could read this meta? i've come across this sort of idea about sansa before in their circles, but this is the first time that i've seen them try to argue that she is somehow inherently unloveable *rolls eyes*

-Something I find really interesting is that for all Sansa craves admiration and “love” from others, she’s not especially good at making friends or inspiring supporters. When people do decide to support or “befriend” her in the story, it is always with ulterior motives—almost all of which serve themselves. This includes characters like the Hound, whose connection to Sansa is built off his own ideology concerning knighthood and gender in their social system.

Her inability to create that support system is partially due to her environments: King’s Landing and the Vale, neither of which are necessarily forgiving places. However, despite her hostage status and shamed House, Sansa is still a valuable person to befriend, even if only for ladies. She’s pretty, performs her ladyhood well, has a famous bloodline, and is tied to the very wealthy ruling family. What’s more, she’s obviously mistreated (for a portion of her time in the capital) and without much actual power. If anything, she should garner sympathy friendships, but with everything else in mind, she should attract at least some love, some support that isn’t totally disingenuous or self-serving, however minuscule. And yet even that eludes her for some reason.

The way similar characters—her siblings particularly—so easily find friends and supporters throughout the books really draws Sansa’s lack of them to the forefront. Jon, for example, finds friends in both the Night’s Watch and amongst the wildlings. Bran forms close friendships with Jojen and Meera. Arya literally makes friends in nearly every place she goes, be they high- or lowborn. Daenerys finds companions in her ladies and Missandei and gathers loyal supporters in people like Ser Barristan. Even Catelyn as Lady Stoneheart earns the support of the Brotherhood. Granted, many of these supporters operate in their devotion to specific Houses, but they’re not doing it to serve their own wants and desires, which is a stark contrast to those “supporters” who surround Sansa at various times.

All in all, I’m intrigued at the way Sansa’s desire for love—genuine or affected—evades her while many of her contemporaries, misfits and traditional characters alike, garner it quite easily. Aside from her environments, what is it about her specifically that seems to repel genuine relationships? And what does this persistent inability to gather loyal friends, companions, and supporters indicate about her future role, if there is one?-

if you can probably tell its written by an arya stan

I laughed. 😂 Anything to cling to the idea of queen Arya - or rather not!queen Sansa.

As if being a hostage of the royal family in the royal palace in the royal capital, surrounded by enemies and spies is not the entire reason Sansa is isolated. Do they even consider how much more risk is involved in even casually approaching her, than there is for anyone having a chat with "Arry" or "Nan" or "Cat"? There is nothing "partially" about it. She is a well-guarded hostage and no one safe and well-intentioned enters the perimeter of her prison, end of.

Once Sansa is in the Vale, she is still more difficult to approach by anyone than a "simple" lowborn girl, as the bastard daughter of Littlefinger (soon Lord Protector) - who takes pains to control who she interacts with and how. And still she begins to form tentative bonds to the people around her - mindful to keep her emotional distance to a degree after what happened with Margaery and Dontos.

Which highlights another crucial aspect. Arya's bonds? Generally represent her attachment to others, not the other way around. She declares Hot Pie and Gendry her pack and feels betrayed that they have their own lives and plans, she never asked them if they feel the same way and I doubt it - and yet her bond to Gendry (also on the run, no threat to her!) - is the single most genuine mutual attachment she forms after she becomes a fugitive. Do they think Yoren helped her because she's uniquely worthy and not because she is Ned's daughter? Do they think Jaqen has no ulterior motive? Or Harwin and Beric? They are kind because they can afford to be but their motives are their own ends. Do they think Lady Smallwood would have somehow withheld this same kindness from Sansa? The captain of the Titan's Daughter knows she is connected to the Faceless Men, ffs. And what possible risk is attached to the women of the Happy Port being kind to a beggar girl?

To her vast credit, Arya forms quick and genuine attachments to other people. More so than Sansa, whose situation also doesn't allow for it. But these attachments don't represent a support system and they aren't deep bonds.

This distorted representation of their ability to connect to people certainly doesn't allow for some kind of speculation how Sansa would act and be perceived in a safe environment and or in a role of political leadership.

#sansa stark #anti arya stans #anti sansa antis

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usergreenpixel · 10 days

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JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 37: CHÉVALIER (2022)

1. The Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens! I’m back and I hope you missed me! Sorry for the multiple delays and all, but luckily I’m back at it now!!!

Okay, so this movie has been on my radar ever since it got announced. A story featuring a real Black man who lived during Frev? Sign me up! This has excellent potential and also, to my knowledge, at least a partially Black crew so we get more representation of marginalized groups in crews and on the screen!

At least, those were my thoughts before I actually watched the movie, but we’ll get to whether it was a good media piece later.

I found the movie on Russian language streaming websites, but it’s available on Amazon Prime and Disney Plus for those who would like to watch the original English version.

This review is dedicated to @idieonthishill , @vivelareine (who has a review that unpacks the movie from a historical pov and is welcome to add to the review 😊), @theravenclawrevolutionary , @sansculottides , @citizentaleo , @saintjustitude , @avergehistoryenjoyer , @lanterne and @jenxiez .

Okay, let the Jacobin Fiction Convention reopen!

2. The Summary

The movie tells a story of a real man, Joseph Bologne aka Chévalier de Saint-Georges. Recognized son of a white French nobleman and an enslaved black woman, Bologne must navigate the cutthroat world of the Parisian high society, dealing with racism and trying to reconcile his “white” upbringing with his African roots.

Sounds interesting, but let’s see how the premise was handled.

3. The Story

The Introduction scene - a musical duel between Mozart and Bologne, was actually quite good in my opinion. So were the other beginning scenes of kid Bologne growing up in France as an aristocrat and being bullied by his white peers, plus his father telling him not to let society break him.

These scenes establish quite well that Bologne has to carve out a place for himself among French nobility and make a lot of effort to get even a hint of acceptance. Sounds like a nice setup, right? Well, unfortunately at times Bologne in the movie doesn’t seem to have much agency at all.

For example, his title is granted to him by Marie-Antoinette basically on a whim, handed to him on a silver platter because the queen was impressed by his fencing skills, which in my opinion isn’t enough to show a character who has to work hard to be accepted. I think it would’ve been better if Bologne had at least several impressive fencing performances to prove himself and show more of his skills.

On the flip side, there are characters who have a bit too much agency. For example, in the story it’s Marie Antoinette who is calling all the shots and giving all the orders in France, even though Louis is alive and well. It’s definitely jarring to see how people say “by the order of the queen” when the king should be the one mentioned instead.

I didn’t care much for the love triangle storyline, but it’s my own personal preference and also the fact that it, like many parts of the story, isn’t all that nuanced. So yeah, very bland and boring.

Yes, Citizens, unfortunately nuance has officially left the chat, especially when it comes to the main character. See, at first Bologne doesn’t give a shit about poverty and famine plaguing France. He is enjoying his cushy life and his friendship with the queen of France instead. However, you know what makes him join the Jacobins? A fucking PERSONAL FALLING OUT WITH THE QUEEN. Not promises of abolishing slavery or granting rights to black people, not his own ideals… Just fucking pettiness!

It would have been much better if he didn’t have a falling out with Marie Antoinette and signed up for fighting with the Republicans because he genuinely wanted to do what was right, not due to personal beef. Especially since that was why he joined Frev in reality – the real Bologne made a choice to do the right thing simply because it seemed to be the right thing to him. Not out of petty desire to get back at the queen.

Also, the conflict between Bologne and his mother about how he is acting “too white”… eeeehh. To me it felt very anachronistic but maybe I’m wrong and there is more nuance missing because EVERYONE at court had to carry themselves in a certain way to make it. If you couldn’t do it, you were socially FUCKED. Besides, Nanon (the mother) and her friends crack really mean jokes about Bologne being “too white”, which is… well, an INTERESTING way to endear him to his mother’s culture…

The movie is juggling admittedly anachronistic theme about black culture, anti-slavery message, court drama and love triangles… and the juggling is done quite sloppily too, I’m afraid.

Also, just to illustrate how inaccurate this movie is, the events of 1789 are shown happening in 1776 for some reason, which shows just how much the creators didn’t give a shit about research.

Moving on.

4. The Characters

I really didn’t care for Bologne to be honest. He shows selfishness and pettiness, doesn’t have enough agency in the story and is also very inconsistent. After falling out with Marie Antoinette, he claims he defended her, which… he didn’t! At least it’s not shown in the movie! What the fuck happened to “show, don’t tell”?! Also, his incredible talents aren’t really shown in the way they could’ve been, more on that in the soundtrack section. A missed opportunity, really.

Nanon, Bologne’s mother, is a real embodiment of the themes of slavery and trauma present in the the movie. She merely exists to push him to embrace his African heritage and to remind him that he will never be truly accepted by other nobles. I honestly wish there was more to her character, because she ends up being little more than a walking theme embodiment.

Marie Antoinette here is a capricious, fair weather friend. She CLAIMS to support Bologne, but does it in indirect ways out of fear that nobles wouldn’t appreciate her openly backing a black man. Even though she is an absolute monarch so she can afford to show her support more openly. Actions speak louder than words, and she is clearly not a true ally of Bologne.

Marie Joséphe, Bologne’s love interest, is a woman trapped in a miserable marriage and yearning to act in Bologne’s operas. While I do sympathize with her, I believe that there really isn’t much depth to her either. We just don’t learn much about her. This is becoming a common theme…

Also, just as a side note while we’re talking about characters, many white characters in the movie are shown as mere flat caricatures. I can understand why, but, again, this doesn’t show nuance as in reality, while Bologne definitely had to deal with racism, he was not only accepted, but adored as a celebrity, but we don’t see that reflected in the attitudes of other people towards him. Because apparently the brains of the spectators will implode when they see nuance in a modern movie, it seems.

5. The Setting

Personally I wasn’t that impressed by the costumes or the settings. I’ve seen much better ones. Nothing bad, but nothing outstanding either.

6. The Soundtrack

Where the fuck is actual music from that time period?! Where is music by Bologne himself?! It’s a fucking missed opportunity and I don’t know what prevented the creators from including the music written by the MAIN DAMN CHARACTER into a biopic about him. A shame that they missed yet another opportunity.

7. The Conclusion

Honestly… I can’t say much when it comes to what this movie is fucking about. The story is bland, lacks nuance, doesn’t follow basic historical facts and is pulled in a million directions.

For a movie about an obscure figure, it doesn’t show much of the things Bologne was known for and at times even strips him of agency. We need to have better POC representation, because this is just not it.

The movie is mediocre, bland and forgettable. Don’t waste your time on it.

With that, I declare today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention to be over. Thank you for your patience and support during this hiatus of mine.

Stay tuned and stay safe!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

#chevalier 2022 #joseph bologne #jacobin fiction convention #french history #black history #french revolution #marie antoinette

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midnightsun-if · 8 months

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What is the general student body’s opinions on each of the ROs? For example, Scarlett is popular, but is it in a positive or negative way?

Good question!

Koda: The general consensus towards Koda is that he’s a genuinely happy dude that just wants the best for everyone he comes across. The type of guy that’d give the shirt off his back if you asked. He’s the happy-go-lucky jock type that’s an overgrown teddy bear (literally in this case). He makes friends easily, and everyone tends to like him.

Scarlett: She’s definitely popular, but it’s in a mixed sort of way. In the positive aspect a lot, and I do mean a lot, of people vie for her attention; partially because she doesn’t give people the time of day, unless she absolutely has to, and because of her position within the supernatural world. For some, it’s become a game to try and catch her interest first. In the negative sense, a lot of people are jealous/envious of her. Wanting what she has, vying for her attention just so they can say they’re the first to receive it (and actually keep it), are among the common things.

Cyrus/Cyra: Everyone tries to clamber to be their friend. After all, they’re part of House Aurelia. Most think that they’re standoffish, when in all actuality they’re just trying to focus on certain things, and because of that a general consensus is that C thinks they’re better than everyone else because of their family. Just goes to show you that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear on the grapevine, huh?

Quinn: Similar to Koda in the aspect that a lot of people enjoy their presence, but Quinn tends to move away from large group activities, which doesn’t make them as popular. Most think of them as being a nice person to chat with, to get to know, but that’s about it.

Caden: Most people don’t really have an opinion of them. As Caden tends to stay away from the students they don’t have to interact with.

Sloane: An invisible ‘Do Not Approach’ aura surrounds them at all times, something that everyone adheres to. They’re a person that people don’t wish to mess with and try to steer clear of.

Blake: Quite popular themself, Blake tends to attract a lot of attention— both the good and the bad— among the student population. They’re seen as a partier that likes to let loose and doesn’t seem to have any actual attachments to anyone. They’re seen as the person to talk to if you want to find something fun to do around Aurelian.

Reginald/Regina: An enigma, an experiment, that everyone is interested in watching. The first human to ever be admitted as a student into Aurelian. What will they do? Will they be able to find their way? Everyone will be watching to see if they fail, and unfortunately a lot of people are expecting them to.

#midnight sun #asks #ro: blake herrera #ro: koda kingston #ro: caden randall #ro: quinn grant #ro: r presley #ro: sloane addams #ro: c aurelia #ro: scarlett voltaire #ginkgo-daydream

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rey-jake-therapist · 8 months

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Fandom and misogyny (spoiler Endless Nights)

I never cease to be appealed by the way some people will constantly find a way to dogpile on female characters, most often for no valuable reasons.

Take Killala of the Glow, in Endless Nights for example: this morning I woke up reading a post that said, "Dream and Desire used to be best friends, it's so sad they're strangers now, I spent an entire day cursing that BITCH Killala for cheating on Dream and ruining the good relationship he had with his sibling. She did them both so wrong!"

I read Endless Nights entirely (not just the excerpts that circulate online) so my eyes popped out when I read that, a bit like this:

Just because it is, you know.... it's a lie! Or at least, it is one, partially: it's true that Killala dumped Dream for another immortal being - Sto-Oa aka the Sun, no less, - who seduced her that day, but who started this, hmmm? No, not Dream's who didn't do anything wrong this time, it's someone else, search better....

It's THEM, Desire, yeah! They're the one who had fun pushing Killala in Sto-Oa's arms, and who made fun of Dream afterwards and didn't understand why he was upset!

I think maybe people forget how powerful Desire are? They are also the one who, eons later, would canonically cause Nada's infatuation for Dream and probably Dream's for her, because they knew it was forbidden for an Endless to love a mortal and wanted Dream to be caught in the act of wrongdoing...

Also, a bit of context is important here: Killala wasn't Dream's long time queen, she had just met him in her dreams a few days ago. Ok, it doesn't make cheating better, but she said herself to Destiny she wasn't sure she loved Dream yet. And once again, it was Desire who orchestrated the whole thing, as seen in this panel:

I wonder how come it's rarely pointed that he would repeat exactly the same trick eons later with Nada: he made Nada want Dream after she saw him in a dream, then made his lonely brother want Nada, because she wanted him and he was flattered by this attention.

Coming back to the subject, Endless Nights, it seems to me that Desire's intent was ALWAYS to mess with them -Dream and Killala -, because they wanted to have fun at their brother's depends!

And I genuinely believe they didn't think Dream would react so badly: nothing is serious for Desire, who lives only for the moment. How could they imagine it would be so serious for Dream, and that he would hold a grudge for so long?

Let's see a bit of context:

When we meet Killala, she has just met Dream - she tells Desire Dream visited her in a dream "some days ago"- doesn't know him much and isn't even sure she loves him. It doesn't excuse cheating on him, but I think it's fair to assume than it this story, it's more Dream's ego than his heart which was hurt. All he does after catching her in the act is telling the young Sol she will find her way home, and that her new lover will probably transport her. If he's big mad at Killala, he does a really great job at hiding it. At the end of the story, it is said by Sol's son - who tells the story to his own son - that Killala eventually died, but at no point it's suggested that Dream caused her death.

Another interesting fact to put the situation back in its context:

Killala has a little chit-chat with Destiny, Dream's big brother and the oldest of the Endless. He asks her if he loves Dream (she doesn't know, thinks she does) and tells her that "a millennia from now", the Endless will be forbidden to love mortals and that her case in particular will be heavily discussed:

Why though? It's often believed that the drama with Killala caused the "no romance with mortals" rule, but Destiny says it would be decided a millenia after Killala's era so frankly, it's doubtful that her fallout with Dream caused this.

However, it occurred to me that it may be the tension between Dream and Desire, caused by Killala cheating on Dream with Sto-Oa, that was discussed. Think about it: Dream and Desire probably worked together before Desire did that "joke"... After that day, they worked AGAINST each other, or at least Dream looked down on Desire's realms and Desire hated him for it. I don't think that Dream having a failed romance with Killala had any influence on the universe per se, but isn't it very likely that the shift in Desire and Dream's relationship did? 🤔

Another reason could be that Sol, the future sun that would shine on Earth, wanted the not yet created mortal humans to look like Killala, who he found very beautiful.

Who knows if Dream didn't have a negative reaction to this idea, and caused the higher instances to decide that it was better for him and the other Endless to not have romanced with mortal beings who liked the woman who had previously hurt one of them? All speculation of course, since we don't know much about this "no romance with mortals" rule after all, but it's so fun to speculate!

But I digress (bless Tumblr for the absence of text limit!). The subject of my post was the misoginy which Killala of the Glow, among other female characters in The Sandman, were subjected to by a part of the fandom. Don't get me wrong: what she did to Dream was very bad, cheating is wrong! But let's not accuse her of "separating the siblings" while:

1) she was surely under Desire's influence (see the screenshot below: Desire was watching her and Sto-Oa engage in a discussion, smirking),

2) the only one who can fairly be accused of doing that was one of the siblings themselves, Desire, when they decided to make fun of their sibling by humiliating him.

3) Also I'd argue that if Dream was entitled to be angry at his sibling - it was a very bad joke... - he should have moved on after a while.

Fun fact, by the way: Dream was disappointed by Killala's change of heart, but he didn't seem angry at her, and he let her go. He even understood immediately what really happened and Desire's influence! That's why he directly went to Desire after he caught her kissing another man. It was Desire's actions that hurt him, way more than Killala's, because he valued his sibling's affection and considered him his favorite sibling.

But sure, let's blame the blue skinned lady for not being able to resist the manipulations of an immortal being, who's got exactly that kind of power. Let's just do that! 😒

#the sandman meta #fandom sexism #Killala of the Glow #desire of the endless #dream of the endless #endless nights #the sandman spoilers #fandom misogyny

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pearcethinks · 11 months

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genloss episode 3 has me genuinely flabberghasted. /pos

genloss spoilers below

Find the founder, Kill the founder

you remember that, right? from the early videos on the youtube? well, hetch, the guy who claimed to try and 'help' ranboo? hetch mentioned about how the founder runs this all. and what im guessing is at the end of episode three, when its shown that it was on a tape recorder. that person that grabbed it? what if thats the founder. or is that the next person that will be taken here? generation 2? for all we know, this could be anyone.

ALSO. notice how squiggles came back in episode three ONLY at the end. when there was real content. when the show was able to go on. squiggles is part of this. we knew that, but still.

CHARLIES STREAM. i watched through it, and i believe someone in chat said that the wingdings said something about the colors, and blah blah you blah, i dont remember and was unable to decode the wingdings myself. What i did do was try and go to the video that charlie played. and i did get to it! as of writing this, posted 12 hours ago. 2-3pm eastern time! incase its important

that ending. where ranboo died. did he even die? i doubt it. either he didnt die or they died but are going to be brought back for generation 2. the show must go on. we have seen people die and come back. charlie. he died but came back next episode.

notice how the one time ranboo DOESNT listen to chat, everything goes wrong. like- literally EVERYTHING. but what if they did listen to chat? would it keep going as them being controlled?

the mask turned on and off at the end, but also that could be because of the mask malfunctioning. but also, he asked to die. he wouldnt do that, showfall media wanted him dead. while the mask was partially broken, it literally had a hole in it and you could see their mouth partially, ranboo was not acting himself still. ranboo was being controlled the entire time. hetch was part of showfall media. maybe the founders right hand man. great at manipulation. even if ranboo could make his own choices, hetch convinced him to keep the mask on. to stay in there. to 'save everyone' although it saved noone.

#ranboo generation loss #generation loss #genloss #genloss spoilers #generation loss spoilers #gsneration loss episode 3 #genloss theory #generation loss theory #theories #charlie slimecicle #sneegsnag #ranboo genloss #sneegsnag genloss #slimecicle #slimecicle genloss #charlie genloss #hetch genloss #my brAIN oh god /pos

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yourdeepestfathoms · 1 year

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more Glitchtrap and Vanessa things

Glitchtrap mainly manifests as a voice in Vanessa’s head, but he can sometimes appear as a full-body hallucination

Or, at least, she HOPES he’s a hallucination

They’re actually capable of being civil with each other

Dare I say friendly

Which is

Very Strange

For Vanessa, at least

Because isn’t Glitchtrap supposed to be a sadistic serial killer?? And yet he’s making light-hearted jokes with her??

At first she thinks it’s all an act to get her guard down

And sometimes it is

But other times, he’s genuinely just being chill

Because I don’t think Glitchtrap is malicious 24/7. I think he’s capable of being “normal”—as normal as the sentient malware of a dead serial killer’s soul can be, of course.

So sometimes they’ll have friendly banter

Or they’ll make jokes with each other

Not to give him credit, but Glitchtrap is actually pretty funny at times

Vanessa will be out in public, and she’ll hear Glitchtrap mutter something about someone, and she’ll have to fight the urge to laugh

He forces her to eat not because he cares about her, but because her body is HIS body, and he doesn’t want it shutting down because she’s too fucking dense to remember to drink water

Glitchtrap does NOT like Luis

Not one bit (same bro!!)

He may be a monster, but even HE can recognize that Luis is an obsessive creep who’s obviously just trying to get into Vanessa’s pants

“He’s a perverse nut job. I don’t want you talking to him anymore. He’s a distraction to you, anyway. Ignore him.” “What are you, my dad?” “I’m your boss, girl. And you will do as I say, or I’ll take care of the freak on my own.” “Seriously, you sound like SUCH a dad right now.” “It’s almost like I was one, you idiotic bitch.”

Glitchtrap is the CEO of insulting nicknames

They’ll be having a regular conversation, and then Vanessa will slip up in the most minuscule way, and suddenly she’s being called a brainless whore

On the other side of that coin: creepy terms of affection

“My dear” and “love” are most commonly used for Vanessa

They’re usually used in the context of sarcasm or in a sickeningly sweet sort of way

(In a non-romantic way, I should add. Just in case because I know SOME people will take it that way)

Glitchtrap is EXTREMELY volatile in his mood. Little, absolutely minute things will send him into a seething rage. One minute, he’ll be chatting calmly with Vanessa over something, the next moment, he’ll be screaming at her to the point where her ears bleed (literally)

So Vanessa is CONSTANTLY walking on eggshells with him

Sometimes Glitchtrap’s emotions and desires will bleed into Vanessa’s, and it’s quite frightening for her because she’ll randomly get these awful, sadistic urges that she can’t control

Glitchtrap has a scary amount of control over her body and body functions

He can make her fold over in unimaginable agony with one proverbial flick of his wrist, and there’s nothing she can do to stop him because he has more control than she does

This is one of the ways he gets her to do what he wants

He’ll do this shit in public, too

Because his most effective method of “persuasion” is humiliation

Vanessa will be at the grocery store, in a quiet argument with Glitchtrap, and suddenly, an excruciating pain will infect her entire body, forcing her down to her knees in the frozen food aisle

“Stop it.” “Say I’m right.” “People are staring.” “Say I’m right, and I’ll stop.” “No! You’re not—” She has to fight the urge to scream as the pain doubles down more intensely, to the point where she almost blacks out.

Though, she prefers this form of public humiliation compared to his…other methods.

After all, Glitchtrap is a partially digital being. He has access to her computer and any other electronic device. He has access to her private information.

He taunts her with this private information. Threatens to leak it to everyone and anyone she knows. Even to people she doesn’t know. It won’t be difficult for him to mass spread it all over the internet.

I can easily go more into depth about this specific concept. I won’t on this post, but I just think it really helps highlight how truly messed up Glitchtrap is.

#they just have SO MUCH wasted potential #their dynamic could have been SO COOL #fnaf #fnaf security breach #five nights at freddy’s security breach #five nights at freddy's #fnaf vanessa #fnaf glitchtrap #glitchtrap #william afton #fnaf headcanons

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toomuchracket · 11 months

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sweetheart!george

I think she's quiet and shy and clever but he discovers she is very funny, she just doesn't make it obvious to the rest of the class who think she's maybe a bit dull and stuck up, because she's clever in class? Sitting next to her, he gets to hear her witty comments under her breath about the teacher, he sees the band logos she's drawn on her pencil case, the lyrics etc she helps him when he's stuck. They pass each other notes or doodle notes to each other in their books - memories they'll come back to years later and laugh about and show their kids.

yes!! me and bff @throughthepostmodernlens were talking about this, and i think there's also an aspect of "i am so sick of having misbehaving boys sat next to me because i'm quiet and teachers think i'll be a good influence on them and expect me to mother them instead of being allowed to focus on my own education" to girly, which is partially why a lot of people assume you're stuck-up (really, you're just fed up). and i think when you tell george that, it's very eye-opening for him (kick-starting teenage george into full-blown feminism) and he's like "actually yeah that IS unfair why are you expected to do the teacher's job" and resolves never to be an arsehole to you and distract you and whatever. joke's on both of you, though - in him making an effort to be calm and studious and less cray cray and you making an effort to be nice to him and a bit more open, you both end up distracting each other because you become genuine friends and chat (within reason - you're still making sure you do everything you need to get done lol). and george is pleasantly shocked at how funny you are - like you said, sarcastic comments and insults under your breath that only he can hear, or passing little notes to him to keep conversations going - and thinks you might actually be the wittiest person he knows. obviously, there's a mutual crush that develops (because yeah fair enough you didn't want to sit next to him because you thought he was mad but oh my god look at him???), and george starts inviting you to shows; everyone is lowkey baffled when you show up - not in a bad way, like people don't hate you lol they just think you're quiet - but you think the band are great, you come to more shows, you actually become friends with all of them (it takes you a while with matty, probably, because he's so fucking loud and bugs the shit out of you, but you get there lol), you start to champion them a little bit and help out when needed with random shit. and yeah, you and george slowly become closer and closer until you're an actual couple, and you just stay that way lol. very golden retriever bf/black cat gf vibes, i think. adorable! <3

#mads muses #mads answers asks #george asks #fluff asks #sweetheart!george

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basslinegrave · 8 months

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hhhgdh

how to hang out with ppl irl without them being weird to me? would love to go anon somehow (i guess its bad to be like infiltrating a space but i mean it as starting off with a clean slate?) because idontknow. lowkey argued with someone today (i was right i just said the facts they called me a smartass and said im wrong. nuh uh) i guess they just actually dislike me or something being against me so much, cause they never say hi back irl and i feel like the few ppl that are like that carry it over to others.. like ppl i met separately from the groups were so chill and nice to me and then suddenly didnt even wanna talk to me or say hi idk what happened i doubt its cause im not always active on social media/in group chats but anyway. id like to like... be more anon and get to know more ppl instead of coming into a group and them already having a bad idea about me for some reason. probably im just making it up and being worried for no reason but it feels like some people genuinely dislike me - and thats okay! cant like everyone! i just feel like it spread to others too for no reason....

once again just trying to have a nice experience in the local furry fandom! i should stop trying and just enjoy having what i got (the 2 people that i actually vibe with, im grateful for that!!)

i know im a weirdo probably. i dont think its bad to be like unhinged, im naturally drawn to such people and some are like that in the groups too, idk whats the problem maybe cause theyre mostly from the big city and see each other and im just an outsider that cant even attend events? idk? but if im like the socially unacceptable weird? am i? how do i get to know that

or do they know im evil and a hater 😳 /hj

also extra but obvs i dont know everyone right? im still fairly new in these circles so i cant know everyone! but at one con a guy came to me and we were kinda hanging out there (had no friends with me and its my usual thing to find new ppl like this), he was a bit awful to me but i didnt know at first, later i found out everyone just hates him cause hes a creep, i wonder if its partially a reason they think im like that cause i was with him?? cuz we met someone else too and they were annoyed, probably thought im friends with the creep... i did draw something for the other person after that and they were really nice during that, and in group chats its neutral, but i got to meet them quite recently again and they literally just like ignored me idk. i mean im not very talkative and am more introverted but i tried to socialize and stuff, but it was very much as if i was an unexpected (and unwanted) guest :/ well sorry i was invited! sorry i went to hang out with friends and socialize ugh

also thought about this today but people my age and younger we rarely are on good terms it seems like, there are few exceptions, but usually its people even just a bit older than me that are more chill and mature idk. gonna be ageist and expect anyone under 21 is gonna be mean to me lol

#thoughts are being thunk #long rant #tldr i cant befriend local furries and it feels like they dislike me for no reason #and i keep trying when i know the outcome already

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chaoticgremlinwholikescheese · 10 months

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Don’t Let Go

Whump

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley

Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

I am californian and fire season is a genuine thing

AO3 LINK

Usually there's four seasons. Fall, winter, spring, and summer. In California, there's five seasons. Fall, winter, spring, summer, and fire. Fire season comes every year without fail. It's a staple of life you get used to when you live in the sunshine state. However, with climate change, the fires get worse every year. And this year is the worst one in decades.

"118! Listen up!"

Bobby's voice rings through the fire house as silence falls. Everyone gathers around him.

"As you all know, this years fire season has been bad. Our station has been assigned to fight the fires on the southern ridges. This is going to be a five day assignment, but it could go longer. We're expected to arrive by eight AM tomorrow. I know this is short notice, and I apologize, but I just found out about this myself. After shift today, please make any arrangements you need to. If you require assistance or have questions, feel free to ask me. Thank you all."

There's murmuring from the crowd, but it dissipates as everyone scatters.

"I was hoping we wouldn't be dispatched for a bit longer," Eddie sighs.

"It comes every year like clock work. Do you know if Carla can watch Chris?"

"Honestly, Buck, I don't know. I'll call and ask."

"Karen said she could watch the kids after work. Chris can stay with Denny, it'll be like a super-long sleepover," Hen interjects. "So as long as Carla can watch Chris during the day, everything should be fine."

"Hen. Have I ever told you and Karen that you two are the greatest people on the planet?"

"Yes. But hearing it again never hurts."

Hen goes off to chat with Chim, who's calling Maddie. Eddie turns to Buck.

"I was going to invite you over for a movie night tonight, but you'll probably want to pack."

"I've got everything I need at your place. I can throw it in my travel bag. Plus, I promised Chris I would make Bobby's lasagna tonight."

Eddie has this soft smile on his face. It's one that's reserved solely for Chris and Buck. Hen calls it his 'love-sick smile'. And in all honesty, Eddie knows she's right. He's head over heels for Buck. Has been for years. It's as familiar to him as breathing. Maybe one day he'll tell Buck. But for right now, he doesn't want to risk losing Buck completely. He can't handle that. He just got him back after the lightning strike. He won't lose him again just because he can't keep his feelings in check.

The alarm goes off, spurring everyone into action. Eddie forces himself to clear his mind.

*******************

Buck knows Eddie's kitchen like the back of his hand. Partially because he reorganized it while stressed, but more so because he cooks here more than he ever does in his own home. He spends more time at Eddie's house than he does his own house in general. He's become a staple in the Diaz household. And he'll forever be grateful that they want him here.

"Okay, the lasagna is almost ready. Chris, can you grab the water from the fridge?"

Chris does so, Dodging Eddie as he goes to grab the plates. The timer goes off and Buck grabs the food from the oven. He places it on the table, taking his seat next to Eddie.

"This smells amazing."

"Lucky for you, you're getting the first piece," Buck says as he serves Chris a slice.

They all dig in. They chat about their day. Chris updates them on the gossip from school. It's the domestic moments like these that Buck loves the most.

After dinner, Buck washes the dishes as Eddie dries them. Chris runs off to his room to get into PJs.

"We have to tell him we're being dispatched," Eddie whispers.

"I know."

"I hate leaving him."

"Me too."

He bumps his shoulder into Eddie's, a silent show of support. Eddie smiles at him. They stay like that as they wash the rest of the dishes. Eventually, Chris comes back in, now clad in dinosaur pajamas.

"Hey Chris, before we start the movie, we gotta talk about something really quick."

Chris shoots them a nervous look. Buck quickly assures him it's nothing bad. That seems to relax the boy a bit, but he's clearly still worried.

"You know the fires going on? Buck and I are being sent to go fight them. We'll be gone for a couple days. We have to leave tomorrow. Carla will watch you during the day like usual, and you'll stay with Karen and Denny."

"How long will you be gone?"

"We don't know. Probably about five days. I promise I'll take care of your dad, alright?"

"And I'll take care of Buck. We'll be back before you know it."

Chris nods.

"I'm not worried. As long as you two stay together, you'll both come home," he says confidently.

"Exactly. Now, what movie do you want to watch, mijo?"

*******************

Buck spends the ride to basecamp doing crossword puzzles. Occasionally he'll ask Eddie for help with a question, but on the whole his collection of random knowledge makes the puzzles easy. Eddie passes the time scrolling on his phone. He has a bunch of articles that Buck sent him, so he works his way through those. They're about a variety of different subjects. Buck tends to go on research binges, and he'll send Eddie things he finds interesting. Eddie loves it.

When they arrive, Bobby orders everyone to disembark. The moment Eddie steps outside, he's hit by a wave of smoky air. The sky is a shade of orange. It's apocalyptic. Bobby leads them over to the main tent, where everything is being organized. A woman comes out to meet them. She's rather short, but she exudes intimidating energy. Her salt-and-pepper hair is tied back in a tight bun.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Captain Hestwen. I'm the one in charge here. In a minute, you'll be getting your assignments. Over to the left is the field hospital. That tent right there is the bunks, grab naps whenever you can. A full nights sleep won't happen. Food is at the green tent, and the tent next to that is where we're storing gear. If you need me, I'll be here. I'll be seeing you all later at the briefing."

She heads inside just as Bobby comes out. He starts listing off their different positions.

"Chim, Hen, you're on med. You're going with a team from the 159 to help with evacuations and injuries. Andrews, you're joining the 35. Jefferson, you're going to help with heli-rescue. Diaz, Buck, you two are going out with the 128 to help with search and rescue. I'm staying here to help Captain Hestwen. Keep your radios on. The wind could shift, so I want to make sure I can get in touch with you all if I need to. Stay safe, everyone."

With that, everyone heads to their designated positions. It takes Eddie and Buck a moment to locate the 128. They find the crew resting around a table. There's about four of them. A young man comes up to greet them.

"Buckley and Diaz? I'm Ryan. I'm heading up this crew. That's Teri, Hartley, and Muniz."

"Nice to meet you. Call me Buck."

They all shake hands before heading over to the table. There's a map laid out, marked by red pins.

"Okay. There's a campsite that was right along the fire line. Most of the campers got out, but there's still three missing. There's a teenage girl named Jocelyn who was doing a solo trip, and a young couple, Nick and Theo. The wind is shifting fast, so we need to move faster. There's no way to get a helicopter out in this smoke, so we're taking ATVs down. We need to cover a large distance, so we're going to take different areas. Muniz, you're with me, taking the North campsite. Teri and Hartley, you're taking the east. Buck and Diaz, you're taking the west corner. You'll all get a map. Keep in mind that the fire line will be constantly shifting, so the map may be inaccurate."

Ryan leads them to the ATVs. Buck opts to drive, since Eddie is better at reading maps. It's a skill he picked up in the army. After making sure they're all on the same radio channel, they go their separate ways. Eddie directs Buck along the side trails. The road is thin and rocky. The smoke gets thicker as they head closer to the fire line. Buck can feel it settling on his skin. He calls out all three names, praying that they hear a response.

"To the left! A tent!"

Buck pulls over when he hears Eddie yell. They get out to investigate. There's two sleeping bags, so it must be Nick and Theo's. There's not much of the tent left. It looks like the fire swept through, charring everything in it's path. Buck calls out their names, even though it's unlikely the two men are anywhere nearby. They likely would have run from the fire.

"Let's head further down the trail. My guess is that they ran when the fire came."

Eddie nods in agreement. They climb back in and start to drive again. They see the evidence of the fire all around them. They're getting closer to the fire itself. When Nick and Theo ran, they didn't know the fire line would shift with the wind. They had no idea they were running straight towards it.

"Theo! Nick!"

Eddie's voice is hoarse from the combination of yelling and smoke. Nevertheless, he yells out their names again.

"Down here! Help!"

Buck abruptly stops. They run out of the ATV, heading towards the voice. They end up on a steep ridge. Down below, the two men are sitting. One appears mostly okay, but the other has a badly cut leg. Eddie can see the white of bone from where he's standing.

"The ridge collapsed! We can't get out," one yells.

"Grab the med bag," Buck orders. When Eddie returns, Buck has already scrambled down the ridge. He's putting pressure on the man's wound with the gauze from his pocket. "Throw down a rope! You'll have to pull them up, okay?"

They don't have access to their usual gear. All they have is some rope and carabiners. Eddie ties one end of the rope around a large boulder. He gives it a tug to make sure it's secure. Then he tosses the other end over the ridge, watching to make sure it doesn't get snagged on anything. Buck quickly ties it into a rescue knot.

"Theo, you need to go up. Eddie is going to help you."

"I'm not leaving Nick!"

"I promise I'll take care of him."

"Go," Nick croaks.

Theo hesitates, but grabs onto the rope. Eddie instructs him to put the loops around his legs. Once Theo is secure, Eddie uses all his strength to pull him up. Even with his gloves, the rope bites into his hands. The moment Theo appears over the edge, Eddie pulls him fully to safety.

"Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No. I mean yes, I have some cuts and a sprained wrist, but you need to take care of my boyfriend first, please-"

"Buck's got him. Go get in the ATV, we're going to get you both out of here."

The radio attached to Eddie's chest crackles to life. Bobby's voice comes over the line.

"All search and rescue teams, be advised that the wind is shifting. Fire is rapidly heading west."

Eddie swears. The fire is heading right for them. He can see it in the distance, getting closer with each passing second. They need to get out of here. He runs back to the edge of the ridge and throws the rope back down. Buck helps Nick up, carrying the majority of his weight. Buck has tied a tourniquet just above his wound. With a good bit of help, Nick gets secured to the rope. Buck gives Eddie a thumbs up.

It's when Eddie gets Nick to the top that the ridge collapses, taking the rock and rope with it. Eddie barely grabs Nick in time. Half the ridge falls, boulders tumbling down. He pulls Nick to safety before running over to check on Buck. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that Buck is stumbling to his feet.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Ankle might be broken though," Buck says. He's leaning heavily on his right side.

Eddie can see the fire getting closer. It'll reach them in only a couple of minutes. He has to get Buck up and out of here fast. Theo has already helped Nick into the ATV. Eddie searches the back for another rope, but there's none. Fuck. Eddie races back to the edge, wary of the fact that the ridge is unstable.

"You need to climb! Can you?"

"I don't think so. Eddie, you need to get Nick and Theo out of here. I'll find a different way up."

"I'm not leaving you."

"The fire is heading this way. You need to go!"

Eddie looks at Nick and Theo. Theo still has a small backpack on.

"Theo! Do you have any rope on you?"

He checks his bag, smiling when he pulls out a thin line. Eddie grabs it, testing its strength. It's enough. It has to be. He finds another hefty boulder and ties one end of the rope around it, making sure it's tightly knotted. He throws the other end down. He can feel the heat emanating from the fast-approaching flames. Buck knots the other end around himself. He looks warily at the flames, now eating through the trees only a few feet away.

Eddie begins to pull. His muscles scream at him, exhausted from all the work, but he ignores the pain. All that matters is getting Buck to safety.

The rope creaks.

It snaps.

Eddie lunges forward, grabbing Buck's hand just in time. The rope drops into the flames below. Eddie tries to pull Buck up, but he gets dragged towards the edge. The only thing holding him in place is the root his foot is lodged in, but that's about to give way too.

"Eddie, you have to let go, I'm going to pull you down with me," Buck begs.

"No," Eddie chokes out through gritted teeth. If he lets go Buck is going to fall. And if the fall doesn't kill him, the inferno waiting below will.

"Chris needs you."

"He needs you too!"

"Tell him I love him, okay? And- and there's notes for everyone. Just in case. They're in a box in my closet. Tell everyone I love them, alright?"

"Buck, please-" Eddie's cut off by his own strangled sob. The root gives way a little more.

"It's okay. I love you, Eddie."

With one last smile, Buck lets go. Eddie watches him fall.

CONTINUE READING ON AO3

#911 #911 fic #buddie

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florasolarsystem · 5 months

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System Roles and Jobs

To clarify because im terrified of miscommunication- system roles are their general role and title within the system that their jobs fall under. The jobs are more specific tasks that they do to fulfill their role.

The variety of jobs within systems? I love it. Even looking at the most general terms how that role specifically works within a system is so fascinating to me. No system is the same and how one protector operates and their job within a system can be so entirely different from another. For us a lot have hyperspecific or seemingly random roles and tasks within the system in order to help us. It's also partially why even if they're defined as (for example) a protector we tend to have to go into more detail due to their specific jobs.

Some examples of jobs within the system that I find cool:

Our main protector has a variety of jobs but one of the daily ones was helping us walk to and from school, especially with crossing roads in general. We've always been bad at it and genuinely put ourselves in danger accidentally repeatedly, and when we're struggling mentally it's even worse. So he's join us in co front of take front and just chat with us as we walked and made sure we stayed safe. There were a few other situations like people's dogs not being locked away properly or strangers offering us rides- lol- that he handled within the role.

One of my headmates her role is genuinely just to like things in moderation and has a few jobs that fall under that. We have issues with hyperfixations and obsessions over things we like and damaging our mental health due to it (and occassionally physical stuff due to things like forgetting to eat or not sleeping) and so when she fronts or is nearby it's easier to take breaks from things or she'll redirect us to new tasks or things like eating and help us stay focused on them instead.

We have one person who just helps us communicate with each other in different ways. It's normally by finding ways externally to communicate and then helping remind and encourage us to use them. Some of it has been through helping people write excerpts about their day or life or goals (normally masked as fanfiction), finding songs people relate to, starting a lil system of notes and reminders on our mirror for example.

Someone helps us establish boundaries by having alone time. It just means she fronts and does her own thing for a bit but doesn't reply to texts or talk to anyone unless it's urgent which is something we really struggle with.

One person's role as a protector is to just share violent and scary thoughts with those who can handle it better, in order to help us find coping skills for when one of our irl friends does something similar. His main job is literally to say scary things about harming people-

But yeah, none of this is gonna be a ground breaking revelation to hear but I find it cool all the specific jobs and ways people do their roles. If you have any you'd like to share please do, I could go on abot this for ages. ✌️

#sysblr #system shit #osdd did #dissociation #actually did #system roles #system jobs #protector #persecutor #im so fixated on systems always you dont understand i need to know everythign about our system/lh

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olreid · 1 year

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Ok whats the etiquette cause im not trying to ask for recs if you dont want to give them but i also sometimes like to know what you would recommend. Lol

you can ask whatever you want! i am an adult who can choose not to answer asks that i dont want to answer lol. i will say that yeas recently i have grown a bit weary of rec request asks, partially they take a lot of time to answer thoroughly and because i feel like i have already recommended TONS of stuff on here over the years to the point that most questions i get of that variety have already been answered.. to be fair i have not tagged stuff like that very well so i can imagine that it might be hard to find, but it is there!

and then also a lot of times the questions are so vague that it feels really transactional, like i'm sure people could put 'essays about hauntings' into google and find basically the same information that i would provide, so at that point i feel more like a search engine than a #girlblogger. like someone recently said "recommend me bad tv shows" and when i get that kind of message my gut response is like. why.. i don't know you lol. if you write in and talk to me about tv and ask about my fave good-bad tv shows that's a different vibe, if that makes sense.. more like we're chatting and having a conversation and less like i'm a robot you go to when youre bored and out of stuff to read.

i want to be clear that i DO often really enjoy answering questions in this vein and have only started to feel like this recently... especially if your question is about something more specific/specialized or if you tell me about something you enjoyed and want to know what to read or watch next i am happy to help... like i am a librarian at heart and i do genuinely enjoy helping people with reading and research decisions! and obviously i like talking about things i've enjoyed and do that often on this blog! but i am also a guy with my own life and i don't want to like. spend my time doing anyone's research for them just because they asked me to. so idk in summary ask whatever you want but hopefully that helps to clarify my. love-hate relationship with rec requests lol

#asks #anon

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mellow-is-liveblogging · 2 years

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good morning chat today I'm rambling about my interpretation of Enrico Pucci

starting from the fact that he's mostly torn between wanting to have control over his life and wanting to have the responsibility of choice being stripped away from him

the latter is not due to some "I want my evil actions to be justified" reasoning. Pucci doesn't care about justifying his actions because he doesn't care about other people and sees no reason to. he wants to be free of choice because he blames himself for his sister's death and, with my headcanon that he used to be friends with Kakyouin, hates himself for not doing anything to help him out of being mind-controlled by Dio. he doesn't care about everything else that he was complicit in. just that one thing. except that the first case was a genuine mistake that he shouldn't be blamed for, while the second one was partially an act of neglect. (I say partially cause it's debatable whether he would be able to pull out a fleshbud without being infected himself, getting Kakyouin killed, permanently damaging his brain and/or being Gotten by Dio afterwards.) but either way instead of actually dealing with his grief he goes down this route of "things wouldn't have gone otherwise because we don't control destiny" because it absolves him of his mistakes quicker and more efficiently. it feels safe. there's no possibilities, he doesn't have to choose for himself, the universe follows an already choreographed routine that he is part of and is powerless to change. all he can do is know it because only if he knows it his life can really start and he can finally satisfy the craving for affection that he has suffered from his entire life.

and here comes the "he desperately wants control" bit: deep down he kind of wants to be able to disrupt fate. made in heaven is not a thing that's supposed to happen. so for only a moment, he can say that he had control over time and time and fate are two facets of a whole. we r talking about a guy who rarely ever felt control over his own actions and body or privacy in his own mind, cause that's what catholicism tends to do. god knows everything and all that. this also ties in with how I imagine that Pucci would feel like he has no choice but to be evil: stress and trauma can lead to intrusive thoughts and if thoughts alone can be sin, then, Pucci isn't going to Heaven either way- might as well brute-force his way inside.

he's used to having his choices made for him. his parents planned out his future for him and he couldn't disappoint them. so the thought of being controlled by fate is a comfort, but also something that torments him. he desperately wants to have control over something, anything, and that's also where FF kinda comes into play, again- he's made something he can hurt and control the same way he's been hurt and controlled by the adults around him when he was a kid and it makes him feel better about himself.

#jjba #stone ocean spoilers #enrico pucci #jojo's bizarre adventure #religious trauma tw #father pucci #mellow.txt #[puts him in a church-shaped enclosure and carefully observes him]#yk i see a theme of jojo villains living in suspended states that #hm

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