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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

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Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

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Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to.

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows.

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets.

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later.

Then came The Witchers.

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see.

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live.

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly.

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus.

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person.

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings.

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again.

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear.

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived.

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off.

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands.

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming.

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train.

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable.

It was surreal.

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time.

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent.

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck.

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either.

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications.

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.”

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vikingqueer · 3 years

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music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

#music stuff #amalie.txt #music recommendations #mika #the mechanisms #the amazing devil #dodie #claudia boleyn #hozier #oh land #oysterband #ben platt

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randomfandomimagine · 3 years

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Fic Writer Interview Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me, @sheimagineddragons!! 🤗🥰

1. Your favorite fic that you’ve written? (Or just one you want to give a shout out to)

The one I’m most proud of is Soul of a Warrior. I love Jaskier, I love Geralt, I love The Witcher, I love Nissa and I love every single thing about this series, it’s so special to me and I’m so happy with it!

2. Your favorite fic title that you’ve come up with?

The first one that comes to mind is Steal Your Pain Away, a Bucky Barnes ficlet I wrote not too long ago. I love having titles with double meaning, and this one also feels very emotional and encompases the events of the ficlet very well, so I really like that title (even if I kind of stole it from one of the lyrics of Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee 😂).

3. How do you get inspiration to write?

Many different ways! Sometimes I’m inspired when I watch a particular movie or show or anything that I like so much, other times it’s random, other times I fall in love with a new character (or fall in love again with one I already new), and other times I just feel the need to write when I have thought about an idea enough.

4. Your favorite genre / subgenre of fic to write?

To write, fluff. To read, angst, hurt/comfort. (I agree with you here, Kit!)

5. Do you have other hobbies?

Sure, many! I like to play video games, watch movies, reading, playing guitar and piano, drawing, painting...

6. A fun fact about you that a lot of people may not know?

Um... This is silly, but I love origami! It’s been forever since I’ve practiced, but I used to be able to do lots of things to gift to friends and decorate my room. One time I gifted my best friend a big jar full of colorful origami stars.

7. Pick one character to self project onto, go!

I’ll give you two because they are very close to my heart! Ellie Williams from The Last of Us and Prompto Argentum from Final Fantasy XV. I relate a lot to them both in different ways.

8. Favorite genre of music?

Heavy metal, I love the energy and the raspy voices and the loud instruments and frantic drums and the electric guitars. Still, I have a varied taste in music and I also like rock, a little bit of pop and folk and sometimes even rap.

9. Your favorite singer/band?

I feel like everyone is tired of hearing me talk about them, but The Amazing Devil! I discovered them when I learned that Joey Batey (the guy that plays Jaskier in The Witcher) had a band and I loved him and his voice so much that I looked them up and absolutely fell in love with every single thing about their music. I also really like Avenged Sevenfold, Muse, Queen and Three Days Grace (and a bunch of other bands).

10. And finally, how has your experience in fandom been?

Mostly very pleasant. I love to share my enthusiasm and love for fandoms with other people, and although there’s a few fandoms that are very toxic and I hate ship wars, everyone has mostly been very nice!

I don’t really know who to tag, so if you see this feel free to do it and tag me so I can read your answers! :D

#tagged #tag game #sheimagineddragons

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noladyme · 4 years

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The Frog Princess. Chapter 2

She had no wish to be bound down to anyone, but Y/N none the less found herself being dragged across the continent; to marry King Foltest of Temeria. In stead of pomp and spectacle; she was accompanied by the witcher, Geralt of Rivia. Their travels would bring both monsters, lust, love; and heartache. All soundtracked by a endearing buffoon of a bard, named Jaskier.

TW: Violence, language, sexual themes. Rated M.

The rank smell of rotten seaweed and fish woke me up.

“Ah. The lady awakes!”, Jaskier scowled at me from where he was standing at the railing. His face looked as I was feeling. Nauseous and miserable.

“You slept all morning”, he said, clutching a handkerchief; occasionally holding it to his mouth. “Are we there yet?”, he called to the fisherman. “It’ll be a few hours yet, good bard. Try singing a song; it might take your mind of your stomach”. Jaskier heaved a few times, before leaning over the railing, and parting with his breakfast.

I wrinkled my nose at the sight, and stood up; feeling stiff and uncomfortable. Walking towards the middle of the ship, I almost fell over. “Sea legs not strong?”, the witchers gravelly voice said. He was wiping down a long sword, that looked as if it was completely made out of silver.

“I’m a Skelliger. My sea legs are perfect. I’m just hung over”, I sneered. ”For a Skelliger, I don’t know which would be more embarrassing”, the witcher smirked. It was only the third time I’d seen him smile. It wasn’t unpleasant; but I couldn’t let it distract me.

“Why Attre?”, I asked. “Going through Cintra Capital would be faster. You wouldn’t have to drag me as far”. “Are you saying I will have to drag you?”, he asked. “You’re avoiding the question”, I retorted.

“The Capital would be the obvious move; and could possibly bring armies to the gates of the city”. He looked worried for a second.

“I suppose I wouldn’t want to bring that on Calanthe”, I said. He raised a brow at me. “You like her”, he said, more as a statement than a question. “I respect her”, I said. “I don’t agree with all her politics, but she’s strong, stubborn and intelligent; and she has her peoples best in mind”.

“What makes you so sure that she knows what is best?”, he asked, looking at me. “I’m not. But that’s not the point”. I pulled my cloak around me; shielding myself against the cold afternoon sea breeze. “Her people have roofs over their heads, full bellies and well stocked markets”. “And the elder folk?”, the witcher challenged.

“That is a subject she and I disagree on. But, wrong or right, she doesn’t take shit from any man. Not even my cousin can tame her. I think that’s why he loves her so much”. I smiled to myself. The witcher held back a laugh, and continued his task; leaving me to find something to soothe my upset stomach.

---

We made landfall – about 10 miles south of Attre – as the sun was setting; once again leaving us to ride through the dark. The witcher had declined Jaskiers plea to take a room at an inn for the night; making the bard sulk as we traipsed through the forest.

The witchers decision fit my plan well; as I didn’t think it would be good to have to sneak out of a crowded inn; leaving witnesses in my wake. I’d rather disappear quietly into the forest as the witcher slept. I hadn’t caught him resting yet, and I figured we’d soon need to stop for the night.

Reaching a small glade, the witcher built a fire, and we made to have supper – fried fish; from the catch the fisherman had been so kind as to let us have a small ration of.

The color having returned to Jaskiers face; his mood had also lifted. He was tuning his instrument, and struck a few chords, earning a groan from the witcher. “I forgive you”, the bard said. “What?”, I asked, confused. “For being rude… and making me steal Eists horse”.

I snickered. “I didn’t make you do anything”, I said. “I just told you a white lie, to get you to stop moaning like a child about having to walk”. Jaskier tightened his lips. “Well, I forgive you anyway”, he said, with an insincere smile. “It must be difficult to be taken from your home, and shuttled of into the arms of a man you don’t know”.

I wanted to punch him in his handsome face; but simply nodded. “Thank you very much. That is very kind of you”.

His eyes warmed. “I’ve actually been working on a little tune for you, my lady”. The witcher looked up at him; with his eyes willing him to shut up – to no avail.

The bard strung a major chord.

“Lady, my lady, your beauty is rare. Your eyes have the power, a man to ensnare. Princess, oh princess, with skin so smooth. Your beauty is great; though your mouth is uncouth”.

I chuckled.

“Foul mouthed lady, be kind onto me And I’ll be your thrall, I will never flee. Foul mouthed princess, have mercy, I plea And I shall be ever a servant of thee”.

I clapped my hands, laughing at his little ode. He was a fine singer, and seemed like a goodhearted man underneath his pretty boy exterior.

“That was… different”, I laughed. “Well it’s from the heart”, Jaskier smiled.

“Do you want to draw in the wolves?”, the witcher snarled at us. “Well, pardon me for trying to lighten the mood, Geralt. Would you rather have the young lady sulking the whole night?”, Jaskier said. “She can do whatever she wants, as long as she stays quiet; and finishes making dinner”.

“I’m not cooking”, I said, looking at the fish hanging from the stick he handed me. “If you want to eat; you are”, he said. “Shove it up your ass”, I snarled. “I’ll shove it up yours”, he answered; and probed the stick into my hand.

I was about to whack him over the head with it, when Jaskier stepped in, and grabbed the fish from me. “I’ll do it, princess”.

“Stop calling me a fucking princess!”, I shrieked; an owl fleeing from a nearby tree at the sound of my voice. Jaskier stifled a smile. “I can’t imagine why you haven’t been married yet”, he chuckled. “Can’t even cook…”, he mumbled, and walked towards the fire.

“I can cook just fine”, I said. “I can cook, bake, sow and milk a fucking cow with the best of them. I just won’t. I don’t like being told what to do…”, I said. “Because you’re spoiled”, the witcher said, voice bored. “You know nothing about me”, I answered.

I went to stand by the fire; warming my hands. Jaskier served us the fish a few moments later, and we ate quietly.

“You could let me go”, I said, breaking the silence. “No”, said the witcher. “You’re my contract”. “In that case all you need is a head. I saw a fresh grave a few miles back. Foltest doesn’t know what I look like; you could pop back and dig her up”. “Her?”. The witcher suddenly seemed interested.

“There was a plank with her name and age on it. It could work”, I jeered. His eyes met mine.

“Get some sleep”, he said; pulled out his sword, and laid it next to him, before he laid down himself, head resting on his folded-up cloak. “Jaskier, you take first watch”. The bard rolled his eyes. “Yes, sir. Would you like a foot massage while I’m at it?”. “Do what you want. Just don’t wake me up”.

He closed his eyes, and seemed to fall asleep instantly.

I laid down; trying to make myself comfortable. I’d slept on bare ground before, but the treetops were to close together for me to be able to see the stars; so, I wasn’t enjoying the experience as I’d done then.

Just wait, I thought, have patience. Let the bard get drowsy.

I heard a small snore from near the fire. Jaskier hadn’t been able to stay awake long. Now or never.

I crawled to my feet, and ran.

---

My skirts were catching on the thickets, and it was difficult to find my way. I knew I had to find a place where I could see the sky; and find the north star. I didn’t know why I would go north, but I needed a direction.

There was a crackle of twigs behind me; and I looked back to see a deer running in the opposite direction. Sighing in relief, I continued; lifting my skirts around me, to free my legs.

I felt a sudden pang of fear from the fact that I was running in a strange forest in a strange land; without direction or goal.

Where am I going?, I thought. I can’t run back to the harbor. A village? If I find a village, I can maybe pay my way onto a carriage, get to Cintra Capital, and find passage home… If they’ll take me back.

I heard a hoot, and the sound made me trip over my legs in surprise. You win this one, owl!, I thought. Getting back onto my feet, I noticed my dress was stuck on a branch. I desperately tried to get it lose without ripping it, and I heard running behind me. My heart climbed into my throat. With a hard yank, the skirt came lose, leaving a long tear on the side of it.

“Shit”, I whispered to myself; picked up my skirts again, and ran on.

Reaching a small stream, I searched franticly for a spot to cross it, that wouldn’t get me soaked. I saw a stone sticking up over the water a few yards further on, and ran towards it; jumping onto it tentatively. It didn’t sink. Looking at the opposite side of the water than from where I came, there was a tuft of grass that seemed dry. I held my breath, and jumped again.

One of my feet landed on dry land, the other sank into the mud. I couldn’t feel a bottom, and panicked, leg stuck from my thigh down.

“What are you doing, little frog?”.

The witcher was looking down at me. He had crossed the stream without as much as a drop of water touching his boots, and at that moment I hated him more than I had hated anyone before.

“Leave me alone!”, I yelled. “No”, he said, and sauntered up to me; grabbing my thigh, and pulling me free from the mud. “You are coming back with me”, he said, and took a hold of my arm.

I saw a broken branch on the ground, grabbed it; and swung it at him, narrowly missing his head, as he drew back with inhuman speed. His confusion gave me enough time to set of running again, and I made it about 10 seconds, before two strong hands gripped my waist, swung me around, and threw me to the ground.

The witcher was laying on top of me; holding both my wrists above my head, and pinning my legs with his own. “Stop struggling!”, he said; not allowing me to move my hands. “Let me go”, I yelled; and tried to make my knee meet his groin, unsuccessfully. He bared his teeth.

“You are not playing nice, little frog”, he said; getting up – and threw me over his shoulder, to carry me back. I kicked, hit him and screamed as loudly as I could. Reaching my hand around, and scratching him across his face; he finally put me down.

“That hurt”, he growled. “Good!”, I sneered back at him; and went for another hit. His hand caught my wrist; and holding on to it, he backed me up against a tree; pinning me to it, by putting his knee between my legs and lifting it, until my feet no longer touched the ground. “You might just be more hassle than you’re worth; but I made a deal, and I intend to honor it!”, he hissed; eyes ablaze.

My voice hitched, partly from fear – and partly from the sensation of his knee between my legs. “Are you going to punish me now, witcher?”, I said; a small part of me hoping for a yes.

His hand flew to my throat; holding it, and squeezing it lightly. “Don’t. Play. With. Fire”, he said as calmly as he could – which wasn’t very. His face so close to mine, I could feel his warm breath on my skin. I bit my lip; unable to control the smile that ghosted across my face. Then he let me go.

Landing with a bump on the ground, I felt a sharp pain in my knee. I had landed on a stone, that had cut open a gash about two inches wide.

“Fuck”, the witcher grumbled above me.

I struggled not to cry; but couldn’t hold back a whimper, when I touched the wound.

“Let’s go”, the witcher said; picked me up, and began walking back towards the camp, carrying me all the way.

“Where were you?”, Jaskier said, voice panicked; as we came back into the light of the fire. “You fell asleep”, the witcher grumbled; and set me down on the ground. He fetched a small pouch from his satchel, and kneeled down next to me, lifting my skirt above my knee to tend to it. “Well, it’s been a very trying day”, Jaskier retorted; and went to poke at the fire, making the embers light up.

“He’s sensitive”, the witcher said, and looked at my wound. “Am not!”, Jaskier said; hurt. “I’m just not accustomed to being left alone in the middle of the woods with nothing to protect myself but my lute”. “If someone came to rob you, you could always sing to them. Might make them turn around and leave”. Jaskier gasped. “Well!... I never!...”, he said, and puffed his chest out, before laying down; his back to us. “I’m going to sleep”.

The witcher poured some water onto a piece of cloth, and began rinsing the dirt and blood away from my knee. I hissed at the sting from his touch; and tried to pull my leg away from him. He grabbed my calf, and held it in place. “Sit still”. “I can clean my own wounds”, I said. “I’m sure you can. But you landed in some blood moss, and I don’t want it to fester”, he retorted; and pulled out a small flask. “This will sting. It wasn’t made for humans to use; but it’ll cauterize the wound”. He looked at me seriously. “Hold on to me”.

He put my wounded leg over his own; took a firm hold of my ankle; leaning, so that I couldn’t see what he was doing. I took a hold of his arm; and held my breath. A sudden excruciating burning sensation spread across my knee; making me scream from the pain. I threw my arms around his bicep, and pressed my forehead into his shoulder, sobbing. “Shh”, he said. “It’s done”. I felt his thumb stroke my calf; and the feeling made a warmth spread up my leg; towards my core – mixing pain with pleasure I didn’t know how to react to.

I lifted my head, and our eyes met. His shone in the light of the fire, at once shallow and bright; at the same time deep as an amber ocean, hiding secrets below. He was excavating my own, it seemed – drawing out my deepest desires, fears and insecurities. It was disconcerting and intriguing all at once.

Remembering himself, he looked down at my knee. “There”, he said, handing me a bandage. “You can wrap it up now”. Where the gash had been was now and angry red line covered in small blisters. It stung, but I could tell that it would probably heal well.

I was wrapping the bandage around my knee; when a hollow shriek broke the silence.

“Would you stop screaming, woman?”, Jaskier yelled, and sat up. “He already fixed your bloody wound…”.

“Shut up!”, the witcher hissed. He was standing alert, looking into the dark. “Ger…”, Jaskier began. “Sshh!”.

The witcher picked up his sword from the ground. “Stay by the fire!”. He drew a complex figure in the air, and a purplish haze rose around us.

From behind the trees a grey mist drew closer. “I told you we should have stayed at an inn”, Jaskier whimpered.

I drew my hidden knife, and stepped forward. “Stay back”, the witcher growled; not taking his eyes of the mist. “It’s a moonwraith!”. “Oh, gods”, Jaskier said, his face once again turning green. “I’d do what he says”.

From the mist floated a spectre; screaming and moaning. Its face was horrifying – a long tongue hanging out of a jawless mouth. Its eyes were two large holes, and tattered rags hung from its thin limbs, not leaving the creature with any modesty.

The witcher held his sword with both hands, and stepped forward to face it. My whole body was shaking; and I realized that it was because Jaskier was holding on to my arm; shivering in fear.

The witcher slashed at the figure; making it draw back with an anguished roar. It swept forward, and our protector rolled across the ground to avoid it. He got back on his feet gracefully, flanking the spectre; and gutting a gash into its side – gray fog streaming out where blood should have been.

The witcher sprang for his satchel; grabbing a small bottle, that looked like the one he had used for my knee. He poured the content over his sword quickly, before putting the bottle to his lips, taking a small sip. He groaned, and fell back a step.

I ran forward, slashing at the ghost with my knife. It shrieked, and swung at me. There was a hard hit to my side; and I flew across the ground; landing near the fire; inside the ward the witcher had put up for us.

He looked back at me; his amber eyes gone. They were now black, and his skin impossibly white and grey. He looked like he walked the thin line between life and death – death not taking him, but strengthening him instead. The sight was terrifying.

He roared, and jumped into the air; slashing his sword through the spectre, making it tumble in the air, and fall back. He lifted his hand, and a force – like a gush of hard wind – flowed from out from it; pushing the creature against a tree. The witcher made a different sign in the air; and the spectre became more corporeal in its appearance.

He lifted his sword a final time; and slashed downwards; splitting the creature in half. A final scream, making the ground shake – and there was only quiet.

My heart was beating so hard and fast that I thought I could see it through my chest.

The witcher turned around – his ghastly white face sprayed with black blood. He marched up to me with impossible speed, and grabbed my arm; drawing me in so close that our faces almost crashed together.

“I told you to stay by the fire!”, he roared at me; black eyes digging into to me. “You could have been killed, you stupid girl”.

“Geralt…”, Jaskier tried calmingly, his knees still shaking.

Grabbing me by the back of my neck; the witcher bared his teeth into a sneer. “I should have let her have you!”. He pushed me away harshly, letting me land on my bottom. I was frozen in place.

“Geralt”, Jaskier said again, stepping between us. “She didn’t know. She was trying to help”. “I don’t need help”, answered the witcher; and stomped away to clean up.

Jaskier crouched next to me. “Best leave him alone a little while”. He patted my shoulder.

I didn’t move for a long time. I couldn’t feel the heat from the fire, nor could I move to get closer to it. I just sat there, cold and strangely devastated by the situation. In the end, I simply laid down, crawling in to myself; and fell asleep.

---

Thanks for reading.

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- no lady

#geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia #the witcher netflix #the witcher fic #the witcher #jaskier

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mightiestheroes · 4 years

Note

Hello! Could you maybe write a Jaskier x Reader where Reader is also a bard. And they meet from time to time in taverns or to play for some royal festivity. And reader is super shy and comes off as cold expect when playing for others and everyone, including Jaskier thinks she is just vain and thinks better of herself. But she hast a crush on him and wants to know him better. And then they get caught by bandits or something dangerous. And then angst and fluff happens!

Thank you for the request! I hope you like it!

Y/N huffed another deep breath. She loved performing, her lute and being able to sing bringing her so much pleasure in life. A lonely life. She wasn’t sure how that was possible but being among lots of people made her feel even more lonely. But she knew it was probably mostly her own fault. She was shy from the very beginning, she thought that performing would help her socialise and meet some friends or maybe even someone to fall in love with. But no such luck. She met another amazing bard – Jaskier some time ago in The Hairy Bear when she walked in while he was singing and damn, he was good. He had a strong but smooth voice that carried emotions so perfectly. She sat down and ordered a stew and some ale. She noticed people being naturally drawn to him, enchanted even and she felt jealous. She knew it was stupid but she wished she could be like him around others. After a few more songs and a loud applause, the bard appeared by her table.

“Do you play as well? That’s a beauty!” he asked pointing to her lute.

“Thanks, it was a gift from King Foltest. I performed at his court a few times.” You responded quickly but without much emotion because you got shy and nervous once again. He didn’t seem bothered by this at first.

“What are you doing now?” Jaskier seemed genuinely interested which made you even more flustered and distant.

“I’m a bard,” was your short response.

“Marvelous! Will you play something for us?” he asked loudly and the room seemed to go silent.

“I suppose I can.” You said taking your instrument and started playing. You decided to stay at your table where you felt quite safe and comfortable. Some of the folks looked at you sceptically while scoffing but you closed your eyes and started singing. When you finished and opened them, you saw Jaskier who was a bit shocked and other patrons clapped. But no one came to talk to you, no one commented on your song. They continues to eat and drink as they were.

“That was beautiful! Sorry but I didn’t catch your name…” Jaskier trailed off. You looked at him for a few seconds still replaying his words in your head. You noticed his blue eyes sparking with curiosity and joy, his playful yet warm smile. You wanted to stay there for a little longer and get to know this man. But your brain had other plans as always.

“I’m Y/N. Sorry, but I have to go.” You stood up quickly, leaving the fellow bard confused but intrigued. Jaskier wasn’t sure what to think about you. You were talented for sure, you had an amazing voice that could match his own. An idea popped into his head that it would be great to sing together some time. But he wasn’t so sure if he’s going to see you again, especially when you didn’t seem to be very friendly. Maybe playing on royal courts made you cocky and shallow. Maybe Foltest gave you not only that stunning instrument but also some lessons on how to treat commoners with pride and vanity. The young bard shrugged his shoulders and went on with singing and having fun with the small crowd.

The next time you meet him it’s his turn to walk in on your performance. You were standing in a middle of the town’s square which held spring festivities. And once again Jaskier found himself captivated by your voice and aura. You spotted him when you were finishing your last song and felt your heart quicken. He bowed theatrically and all you could gave him was a small, tight smile. People started clapping and you quickly bowed to them and wandered off. Jaskier thought it was quite odd, because he always mingles with people and talks to them about anything and everything to keep them entertained. He guessed people really saw your distance and coldness towards them. You were so angry with yourself, because finally you met someone interesting but couldn’t get past your fears and thoughts to get to know him. You wanted to work on that and you decided to try and talk to more people. The next day was so beautiful, the sun was shining and a warm delicate wind was bowing on your heated skin. You were roaming the streets and the market watching people walking around, buying and selling their goods, interacting. You walked up to an elderly woman who was selling herbs and oils. You breathed deeply, trying to stop your hands from shaking.

“Hello, do you have something to keep your throat healthy?” you asked shyly but quite proud you managed to do that.

“Oh of course, little dove. Are you a singer?” the sweet woman asked and you get nervous again but tried to fight it.

“I am indeed. I am a bard.” You replied and added a small smile in the end.

“That sounds interesting! Can you sing for me?” she caught you off guard but you kept reminding yourself that you want to make friends.

“I’m not sure… Maybe something short.” You replied and started singing quietly an old lullaby elder speech. As you saw the woman’s eyes widen as well as her smile, you felt amazing and smiled wholeheartedly at her.

“You are very talented, my dear! But you seem lonely.” she exclaimed and you got flustered again but decided to be honest.

“I am, actually. I am very shy with people and they don’t like me because of that…”

“You are beautiful and talented, you have nothing to be afraid, sweetheart. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!” she smiled and patted your hand. You returned the smile and thanked her as you walked away with a good feeling.

What you didn’t know was that a certain blue-eyed bard saw and heard everything and decided to befriend you next time he sees you.

Which happened a few weeks after that, when you both got invited to perform on some lord’s ball. You kept practicing your interactions with people and felt a bit better about yourself but going to such a big event still made you nervous. You also kept thinking if Jaskier is going to be there as you were getting ready. You put a little more effort into your appearance to make yourself calmer and braver. When you walked into the huge ballroom, your hands got a little bit sweaty but you pushed through and sat by the table. You heard a fit of giggles and followed the sound only to find Jaskier himself entertaining a few young women. You were happy to see him in hope to get to know him some more but the sight made you feel self-conscious again. Some people were trying to talk to you at the table but you couldn’t stop watching the handsome bard and brushed them off which seemed cold and rude once more. You needed some relax so you poured yourself some wine and observed the crowd. When you stepped outside to catch some air you noticed Jaskier by the small garden, watching the stars and mumbling to himself. Maybe it was the wine or the way the Moon made his face look angelic, but you took a few strides and came next to him. He did a little doubletake which made you blush and smile at him.

“Well, hello Y/N! Fancy seeing you here.” He greeted you but stayed aware of your usual cold demeanor. Which is why your response shocked and pleased him to no end.

“I was hoping to see you here…” you admitted shyly and couldn’t look him in the eyes so you quickly added “What are you doing outside?”

“Umm… I have an idea for a new song but I can’t get it right.” He started to walk into the garden away from the court and you followed him. “Will you help me?” he asked.

“Sure, let’s hear it!” he made you feel at ease as you walked and talked and hummed. You didn’t even notice when you got that far away as you sang with him the new song.

“I think we should sing it together, you know? As a duet.” He stopped and suggested looking her in the eyes with a small smile.

“I’d love that, Jaskier.” Hearing her say his name made the bard feel a bit dizzy and he felt butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to say something clever to make her smile again, when they heard rustling from the bushes. Two men emerged holding something in their hands which looked awfully like knives.

“What do we have here? Nevermind, give us your coins!” the first one exclaimed and they both pointed their knives at you. You paled and your breath hitched feeling scared.

“We don’t have any. Just leave us alone and go away.” Jaskier put his hand before you and tried to convince the men.

“Don’t think so. If you don’t have money, we can get something else…” the other one suggested looking at you and licking his lips. You wanted to say something, to protect yourself but Jaskier beat you to it.

“Like hell you are! Don’t even come near her” he screamed and started throwing punches. When the two men fell to the ground, the bard seemed shocked himself but then quickly turned to you.

“You can thank me later…” he tried to joke not sure how to handle this.

“You could’ve gotten hurt!” you shouted suddenly at him.

“But I didn’t. I wanted to make sure you were safe.” Jaskier admitted taken aback by your outburst.

“What for? They had knives Jaskier!” you weren’t sure yourself why you were mad at him.

“Because I care about your cold heart!” he was getting angry too.

“Cold?!” you felt tears in your eyes, his words hurt even if they were true.

“You act like you are better than all of us and brush off anyone who wants to get closer to you!” you knew he was right. You threw your arms in the air feeling helpless and not being able to find the right words.

“I know.” Was everything you said quietly and he stopped in his tracks looking at you expectantly. “I don’t think I am better than anyone. I just get stupid and nervous and it was always easier to push people away. But…” you stopped yourself not sure if you should tell him the truth.

“But what, Y/N?” he asked somehow hopefully and trying to catch your eyes. You took a deep breath and muttered.

“I don’t want to push you away.” You said quickly and quietly but he seemed to hear that. Jaskier smiled brightly and took your hand in his. You looked up just in time to see his breathtaking smile.

“Then don’t.” he simply replied and put his hand on the side of your face. He glanced down to your lips and you felt somehow calm and content. You smiled slightly and it was all it took for Jaskier to kiss you with all his passion.

REQUESTS OPEN

#the witcher #witcher #request #prompt #writing #jaskier x reader #bard reader #angst #fluff #julian alfred pankratz #reader insert

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kingofdirtandnothing · 3 years

Text

@polyfacetious big ass Christmas Drabble Extravagaza: Day Twenty Two

Aerith Gainsborough has a gift. And that gift is talking people into doing something that they don’t want to do and making it feel like it was their idea in the first place. That’s the only reason Geralt can find for the fact that he’s sitting in a coffee shop on a Friday night, listening to slam poetry and geeks on guitars.

There isn’t even beer here. No spiked ciders or even Irish coffee. It’s a fucking travesty, and every time he builds himself up to say something about it, Geralt looks down at the tiny woman with a grip on his arm, and he swallows it.

Damn those eyes.

I can hear the cannons calling, as though across a dream-

Geralt pulls his sour gaze away from the top of Aerith’s head when he hears the first strains of the song. This wasn’t some hipster strumming along with a woeful little play at a folk song. There was something haunting in that voice that was drawing Geralt in.

The sight that greets him isn’t so bad either.

The man perched on the edge of the stool, a guitar propped on his knee was gorgeous. The line of his stong neck was curved as he looked down at clever, graceful fingers plucking at the strings. Brown hair brushed against his forehead, and when the singer looks up, Geralt feels a jolt in his gut.

Like the singer is looking right at him.

Distantly, he hears Aerith tell him that Cloud was there, a pat to his arm before she disappeared into the eclectic crowd. And any other night, this would have been the moment that Geralt left his seat and got the hell out of here.

But he’s pinned to the spot now, trapped beneath the stare of incredibly blue eyes and a voice that curled against the base of Geralt’s spine and laid down roots.

The song is sad, too weighty to just be called melancholy. It casts a spell over the room, most of the idle chatter and clinking of flatware and dishes falling away to the sound of it. And when it ends on a low, aching note, Geralt is pulled from the spell of it by the eruption of applause around the room.

The singer smiles, and it changes his whole face. Gone was the melancholy boy singing about lost loves. Unfortunately for Geralt, what was in his place was a disgustingly good looking man. Why did people have to be both talented, and good looking? It was unnatural.

Geralt watches him step down from the stage, cradling his guitar in his hands like it was something special, until he could slide it back into the soft case he had for it, propped up against the back wall of the coffee shop, far enough away from the lights of the makeshift stage that he wasn’t drawing attention away from the next person on the stage. (Geralt isn’t sure if it’s a man or a woman who’s taken up the stage now. He’d have to be able to look away from the singer to do that.)

Any thought Geralt might have stifled about going up and saying something to the singer is lost when people start to crowd around him. “Jaskier!” That’s Magnus, who owns the place, who swans up to the singer, this Jaskier and embraces him warmly, kissing both of his cheeks. “One of these days darling, I’m going to get you to play a happy song.”

Jaskier smiles, nose crinkling. “Oh, you know me Mags. Art is pain, et cetera, et cetera.” Jaskier waves the words away as Magnus turns back to answer a question from someone else. There was still a gaggle of people around Jaskier, and Geralt turns his glare down towards the Earl Grey in a steaming mug in his hands.

Stupid. What would he even do with a pretty little thing like that? (The back of his mind has a few vivid, sweat soaked suggestions. Geralt ignores those.) Nothing. It’s not like they’d have anything in common. It would be pointless to talk to him in the first place, and it would only end badly if he did.

Geralt downs the rest of his tea in three long scalding gulps and puts the mug down on the table. There was no reason for him to stay now, Aerith just liked the company on her walk over, and Geralt liked glaring at idiots who thought they might want to talk to her. She had her blonde boy there now, and Aerith would decide if she wanted him to walk her home. Which meant it was time for Geralt to go.

“I love the way you just sit in the corner and...brood.” The words startle Geralt from his thoughts, and he looks up to find himself face to face with those stained glass blue eyes. Damn, Jaskier was quiet on his feet. (Or Geralt wasn’t paying enough attention to his surroundings.)

“I’m here because a friend doesn’t like to walk at night alone.” He’s here, right now, because he couldn’t stop looking at the man in front of him. Now Geralt just has to convince them both that it’s a load of horse shit.

“Good. Right. Yes.” Jaskier takes a seat from the row in front of Geralt’s and straddles it, because Geralt’s life isn’t hard enough right now. (And his life isn’t the only thing that’s hard, either.) “Well. No one else hesitated to comment on the quality of my performance. Except you.”

It shouldn’t be charming, the bastard going from group to group around the room to collect his praise for a song well done. And yet, here they are.

“Come on.” It’s wheedling, Jaskier leaning the chair forward so that only two legs are still on the ground, his chin resting on his crossed arms. “You don’t want to keep a man with...bread in his pants waiting, now do you?”

Geralt knows better than to engage. He knows. And still the words leave his stupid mouth. “If that’s a metaphor, I don’t understand it.”

Jaskier grins. “Oh no, I never joke about bread in my pants. Watch.” Geralt watches, because what the fuck else is a man supposed to do when he sees a twink wiggling on a chair to pull a flattened piece of pain au chocolat out of his pocket, still wrapped in the plastic wrap that Bilbo used for his treats. He waves the bread around and takes a hearty bite before he speaks again. “You must have some review for me. Three words or less.”

‘I want you’ are the first three words that come to mind. And as much as Geralt is starting to get the impression that it’s mutual, he’s not putting himself down that road. Fucking some out of towner was one thing, or the girls in the red light district. It was a means to an end, a way to scratch an itch.

Fucking a local meant seeing them again. It meant feelings getting involved and everything getting messy. Geralt didn’t need anyone, and the last thing he wanted was someone needing him. “It’s not right.” There. Three words, and as polite a ‘fuck off’ as Geralt can manage.

But the words don’t make Jaskier turn away. If anything, he leans in closer. Geralt subtly places the toe of his boot against the crossbar of Jaskier’s chair to keep it from dumping over forwards. Backwards, he couldn’t help with. “Ooh. Fun. Let me guess. Not a fan of love songs? Flowers? Go on, tell me.”

Bossy. Another thing that shouldn’t be charming but it was. Geralt watches him for a long beat, but the withering stare that seemed to drive people off in droves wasn’t doing a damn thing right about now. “It’s still a lie. Even if no one hears it, you’re still lying to yourself.” Geralt would know. He’s lied to himself more than he’s ever lied to anyone else.

Jaskier, for some bizarre reason, lights up at the words. “Oh, a pedantic. This is so much better than my guess of repressed heterosexual.” Geralt scoffs, but he’s fighting a smile as he does it. Damn it all to hell.

“I’m not repressed.” He’s not heterosexual, either. There were too many good looking people in this world to fuck to leave it just to one side or the other. His mother taught him to clean his plate when he was a boy. Geralt took that missive through all aspects of his life.

“You’re not? Well that’s good to know. You’re also very rumbly.” Jaskier gives him a thumbs up before he tears the smashed remains of his croissant in half and offers it out to Geralt. “If I lure you in with sweets, will you tell me your name?”

Geralt makes a low hum of a sound in his chest, to pretend like he was thinking about it. He plucks the piece of chocolate croissant from the cling wrap and pops it into his mouth. “No.”

“No?” That earns him a bright huff of laughter from Jaskier. “You sir, are a scoundrel and a cad. If I have to lower myself to your nefarious levels to find out your name, then so be it.” Jaskier leans back in his chair and calls across the room. “Oy! Magnus!” There’s a moment before Magnus turns away from a customer, brow raised. “You know his name?”

The entire fucking room is staring at them now. Geralt has never been the kind of man to shrink away, but he’s not a big fan of attention. There are too many eyes on him right now, including Magnus Bane’s bright eyes. God help him if Magnus mentions they’ve fucked.

But surprisingly, Magnus doesn’t call back across the room. He just sends Bilbo’s little brunette assistant over, who grins at the both of them and hands Jaskier a napkin. Jaskier snaps it open, the way you would a newspaper, and hums. “Well well well. It seems you’ve been outmanuevered, my dear….Geralt.”

It’s been awhile since he’s heard his name pronounced correctly. The Mediterranien influence was strong here. They were far from his part of Europe. But he should have known a man named Jaskier would at least be within spitting distance of the parts of the world that Geralt grew up in.

“Oh no.” Geralt’s delivery is flat, as is his expression. “I’ve been found out.”

And he’s never going to admit how much he enjoys the peal of laughter it gets him. Damn it all to hell. “It’s true.” Jaskier nods along solemnly, and Geralt can feel the weight of the chair against his toe. Jaskier would be flat on his face if Geralt wasn’t holding the chair in place. “I’m a master spy. James Bond often calls me for tips. But don’t blame me for his blasphemous taste in martinis. That’s all Jim.”

Jim. Geralt rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t do a fucking thing to deter the pretty little singer staring him down with those blue eyes.

Geralt was in trouble.

“I also taught him how to pick up beautiful, dangerous people.” Geralt wouldn’t consider himself dangerous, but the size of his arms tended to put that idea into people’s heads.

Geralt cocks a brow at him. “When are you going to show me that?”

Jaskier holds a hand to his chest, leaning far back in the other direction. Geralt has to shift his foot quickly behind the cross bar to the chair to keep it from going over backwards. “Oh ho ho, the pretty boy has a sharp tongue! You wound me, sir.”

Fuck it.

Geralt uses his foot on the chair to tip Jaskier back towards him, and he’s rewarded with a yelp. He catches the back of the chair with his hand, knuckles brushing against Jaskier’s forearm as he does. Leaning in himself, the next few words are only for the beautiful disaster in front of him.

“I can show you what else this tongue can do.”

#ch: geralt #polyfacetious | jaskier #polyfacetious #v: expats row #queued #carlota's christmas drabbles

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