STATUS UPDATES: GOING INTO 2024
2023 has been rough for me in all manner of ways but I will say it has been very fruitful with regards to my writing. I managed surpass my goal of 100k words, reaching an unfathomable 150k at present, and I’ve even managed to hit a big milestone when it comes to my following! I’m extremely grateful to all my readers, both those that have stuck with me and those who are new, and I wish I had adequate words to really express that. but going into 2024 I will likely be writing less frequently than I did this year. this is due to my own health, and a multitude of other problems that I can no longer keep on the back burner.
plenty of you have seen mentions of hospital visits and procedures on my blog, and while I’m not very comfortable oversharing about medical stuff I do want to be transparent about the fact that I will be posting fics less because of it. I’ve been in and out of semi hiatus for the better part of 4 months but I was always awful at sticking to it. next year I want to actually give myself grace, and take care of my body.
please do not fear!!! this resolution actually aligns perfectly with my writing goals for 2024. I want to focus on lengthening my word counts. I’d love to post fewer fics, but to have said fics be 25 to 50k respectively, rather than to post a lot of 1 to 15k fics. mostly I want to work on my own impatience when it comes to writing, and berate myself less for what I think I should be doing writing-wise. I will still be around on here, and I always want to talk with you guys (and read whenever the mood strikes!!), the biggest difference is I’ll have longer projects, and you’ll have to wait for them (though if I’m honest I will likely still post a shorter fic here and there lol).
I appreciate the patience a lot of you have already shown me this year, what with my random breaks and gaps between posting. you have all been so so kind and generous with your praise and I wouldn’t be here, writing and sharing, without that support. I love you all and wish you well going into the new year!!!!!
edited: 18/12/23
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fuck it friday
tagged by @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 💖
this time a bit more of the cheating fic - istg normally I'm not a big fan of those but this is soooo much fun to write haha (especially this buck, idk, i'm having a blast haha)
prev snippet
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“Wha- Where-” Eddie mumbles, confused, and Buck panics even more. Does Eddie not remember? That would be- worse, probably. Then he’d absolutely have to tell him, and he’s not ready for that conversation. Buck’s eyes are glued to the ceiling, but he feels Eddie moving off of him, propping himself up into a sitting position, his weight and warmth disappearing from Buck’s chest. He doesn’t immediately miss it. He swears he doesn’t. “Oh, fuck.” Eddie whispers after a moment, and the way his voice sounds so shocked and horrified, it’s safe to say he remembers. Or he figured it out, what with both of them being naked in bed and all that.
“Mhm. Well said.” Buck swallows hard, and licks his lips, and then he remembers getting to taste Eddie last night, got to kiss him, got to trace his lips all over his body, and- is he on fire right now? How is it this hot in here? He needs a cold shower. He needs to- he doesn’t want to, but he needs to scrub Eddie off of himself. Well, he does want to. He has to want to.
“We, um-”
“Yep.” Buck doesn’t let him finish. “That happened.”
“Shit.” Eddie exhales loudly, completely moving away and sitting up, making sure to take enough covers to cover himself from the waist down, but not too much so that Buck is still covered too – as if they didn’t see it all already. Buck still doesn’t look at him. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean- I mean, it’s not like I didn’t want to.” he rushes to correct himself, and Buck just needs him to shut up and not make this worse. He can’t hear that Eddie wanted him. Though maybe that makes this whole thing better? (...) “I just didn’t want it to happen like this. I’m sorry.” he repeats, and Buck can see him shake his head out of the corner of his eye.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @loserdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @hippolotamus @eowon @jeeyuns @disasterbuckdiaz @forthewolves @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @fortheloveofbuddie @jesuisici33
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man i wish the chinese johnny bravo joke would die
I assume most people on here have not actually seen Johnny Bravo in at least 10 years and don't remember anything about the character but it is rather unfortunate that the Wang Qiye character has been reduced to "female Johnny Bravo" in some people's minds, not least of which is because it's a weak comparison if you watch more than like 1 video.
Now that I type this, I'm guessing the Johnny Bravo comparisons come from 1) cartoonish walking; 2) hitting on strangers; 3) egotistical; and 4) in the original video that blew up on here, Wang Qiye corners the guy up against the wall, which is probably reminiscent of Johnny Bravo getting up in peoples' spaces in the old cartoons.
However Wang Qiye's humor comes more from a style of humor being slightly unhinged and perverse (变态). I would say the character is more supposed to be more predatory/a menace rather than the Johnny Bravo brand of goofy muscle-head. She's clever and money-hungry yet often broke, though she doesn't let anything affect her because as far as she's concerned it's her world and everyone else is just living in it. The fact that handsome men run away from her is part of the appeal for the character because she likes pulling power moves.
So the Johnny Bravo joke is annoying but ultimately harmless I think. If you watch a Wang Qiye video where she's playing word games with Chinese idioms and think "man this is just like female Asian Johnny Bravo" then that's sort of your loss, isn't it?
But also yes. "Omg female Asian version of this unrelated white man!" ==> 🤡
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I wanna talk about something...
There was a post I saw a few days ago, that's a few years old at this point(50% sure op deactivated, but I forget). Where they were talking about how their teacher was talking about internet safety and not giving your address to a stranger on the internet because of the dangers.
op basically told their teacher that their internet friends wouldn't take advantage of them. And said to rb if you weren't a predator or smth like that. And it sort of spiraled from there. And there's two things I want to talk about with that.
Again, this post is a few years old, and no hate to op. I get it, no one wants to believe that someone they're close to or think they're close to would do something bad.
I want to make something clear here. I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULDN'T EVER MEET YOUR INTERNET FRIENDS!
It was kind of clear to me that op was probably a younger teenager at the time this post was made(based on the fact that I was pre-teen to young teens when I started getting told things like this, and assuming that they didn't lie about their age to make an acc, which in the US is young teen years). And those years are lonely, or at least they were for me, and it seemed that way for op based on their post. But at the same time, it's not safe to give internet strangers the exact address of your house. Especially if you're not an adult.
And yes, I know I'm not the best example of this. Considering my mental breakdown a little while ago.
However, there are safe ways to meet your internet friends. Meetup in a public area, bring someone you trust irl(if you're not an adult I suggest bringing a trusted adult with you)(and encourage them to do the same!) I am not saying you shouldn't meet your internet friends irl, but it's best to be safe about it. Because at the end of the day you only know the internet persona they put on, you don't know them!
But this isn't just about that.
It's about the fact that people took that post, and then called those who scrolled past or didn't/wouldn't reblog it predators. I get that it's reblog bait in a sense. And I fall for a lot of reblog bait, I'm always scared that someone's going to hate me because I decided not to rb something. Intrusive thoughts and Anxiety are not a fun combo when seeing most of those posts. And I'm probably going to still fall for reblog bait after this as well.
And I guess this is a more general statement, but still. No one should be called names(homophobic, transphobic, aphobic, predator, etc...) because they didn't want to reblog a post. It's one thing to comment something like "reblogging this could save a life," under a post with important information. I prefer those ones, because they tell you the good impact that you could have by reblogging it.
But it's another to call people names, to say that they're a horrible person for not rbing it. And I know I've rbed stuff like that before, and I can't say that I'll be able to stop. But here's why:
I have this terrible terrible fear of people leaving me, of not being perfect enough and people hate me for it.
And these posts, they make it worse, because all of a sudden, if I don't reblog then they're talking about me. Because I saw the post and didn't reblog it. That is who these comments state they are for. And I hate it so much because I know that I'm giving this anxiety to someone else who feels similarly when I've reblogged it. But it's hard not to, when that feels like the only option. When the other option makes it feel like I'm going to lose friends, or that people will associate me with these horrible things.
I've gotten better at ignoring those posts, but I still reblog them. It's hard for me not to, almost impossible at times. And, I'm not mad at the people who reblog them, either in good faith or because they have a very similar fear to mine. But I am mad at the people who make the comments calling people those horrible things, with no regard for the context or how that affects(effects?) other people.
It sucks, because this isn't something that I can say will never happen again. I know it will. But it's also something that I am so sick and tired of.
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