#r it was too much pressure

[avatardoggo]

pretty sure my psych prof boosted my exam mark significantly bc there's no way i passed on my own 🥹

#SO to professor abeare he's a real one frfr #honestly such a compassionate guy when i told him about the funeral and everything he was like when do YOU want to do the exam :') like sir #stop showing me basic kindness im going to screamcrybarf all over your plaid suit #and i honestly tried studying during my reading week but between getting ready to speak at the funeral actually speaking at it and the afte #r it was too much pressure #and i was even telling my roommate how i felt like i failed and she was like 'well considering the circumstances i think you shouldn't be #too hard on urself and i- 🥺 #ppl need to stop being kind to me my heart can't take it #so ya highlight of my week is getting a 50% on my psych exam when i guessed basically every answer #vk overshares in the tags #thanks for everyone that's praying for me also it means a ton <3!

[fearmeeeee]

I’m sure you’ve probably mentioned it before- but I’m curious! Where did the original love for Sebek come from!

Always been curious about that since your style just fits him so nicely!

Thank you sm! I'm glad you think my style suits him! I think his design is pretty elegant so I try to do it justice as much as I can.

Good question!! So I had to look up my own archive bcause I didn't remember but the first time I drew him was end of december. its been.... 9 months...

I have been aware of twst a few years prior but I was never INTO it. I really liked Sebek's design from the get go though, it has many elements that appeal to me personally (AND HE'S IN THE EQUESTRIAN CLUB!!!! I LOVE HORSES!!), but since he wasn't in the main story much I really didn't know anything about him. Then Glomas happened and I ended up getting obsessed w twst, and honestly around that time sebek got A LOT of cards back to back (dorm card, glomas, new years, masterchef, birthday, harveston on en) wich made me wanna look into him more and.. BOY!!!!

He is so obsessive!!!!! SO confidently wrong!! His perception of reality is so warped!! I wanted to study him under a microscope immediately. And honestly he's so FUNNY he makes every scene hes in a treat. A moment that had stuck out to me when I was still learning about him was how important it was to him not to lose to silver at.... coffee drinking... LIKE MY GUY!!!! NOBODY CARES!!!!! His point of view is so fun to see. I need to put him in a blender. I find characters like him very interesting, devoted to one person and all of their actions and morals are dictated by that.

Of course eventually it did become apparent that he has actual reasons and deep insecurities that affect his behaviour (which I hope but doubt ch 7 will actually touch on), that make him a pretty well rounded character, very fun to analyse and see more of. And his bond with the rest of Diasomnia is super interesting too. Silver is my 2nd favourite so it's nice that they interact a lot and mirror eachother.

Heres a wip💚

#asks #moonlight-phobia #my pen pressure stopped as i was lining this #sorry for writing 3 paragraphs #did i mention hes funny hes so funny funniest lil guy #but yea slicked back hair + slit pupils + fangs + thunder eyebrows is a killer combo for me #i love drawing those #and hes a BOOKWORM #aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #and gets attatched to stuffed animals #and likes horses :'0 #he gets 100 points just for being a horse girl #i may delete this l8r bcause i rambled too much but like no way i can cut down the length im just very obsessed with him #addmitedly i wouldnt be that into twst if i didnt need sth to cope with how exhausting and boring uni is but now here we r #emotional support green anime boy #also hes quite tragic a lot of the time but i will stop here i just have so much to say

[drenched-in-sunlight]

am back on my elden ring bullshit and scrolling through your art and the way you articulate ranni’s fingers hrggggggggg i am eating my entire fist

also malenia

anyway your art is beautiful and i just wanted to let you know

you know it makes me really happy that even though it's been a while since i draw them, ppl still remember me as "dat fromsoft fanartist that draws WOMEN. WOMEN IN LOVE"

hehe thank you!

#WHEN IS THAT ER DLC #anon #ask #i were under pressure to keep my tumblr as a gallery when i were still looking for a job months ago but now i'll start answering ask again #i miss drawing my girls but spiders on my mind 24/24 these days #cant draw too much anymore now too cuz i already draw 8 hours at work a day so my wrists r crazy these days #grrrr

[vampiremansionpoolboy-moved]

going insane over the fact that happiness and care and concern and love is underneath every interaction between newt and hermann in pacific rim

#HEAR ME OUT. they’re introduced and newt and being a groupie and behind him hermann is all huffing and rolling his eyes and shaking his #head but he’s Not Angry. no. he jumps to defend newt albeit in a somewhat mocking and sarcastic way BUT THE THOUGHT IS THERE. and then when #hermann is rambling on about numbers being the handwriting of god newt is in the background smiling and laughing and making silly #hand motions and yes the hand motion was a bit mocking BUT THATS THEIR WHOLW THINF. anyways i’m not done. when newt drifts with the kaiju #and pentecost is there talking to him and hermann and newt r yelling back in forth u can hear the unease and shakiness in their voices and #especially the frustration in hermanns. he’s frustrated abt newt risking his life and is worried abt that which translates out in anger. #and yeah maybe he’s salty abt being proven wrong too lmao. BUT CONTINUING ON. stacker could have just told newt to go to hannibal chau and #he would have done it. but instead they watch the film of him on HERMANNS computer as HERMANN controls the computer to look at the film. if #thé film was shown it was for a reason. newt doesn’t seem like the type to need reassurance abt chau before he goes. he was willing to die #for his trash drift. and stacker gave him the card and info so there’s no need to do anything else. the video is most likely there for the #viewers but it needs a reason to be there in the show. hence my reasoning that HERMANN asked to see it out of concern for newt who would be #doinf this alone. hermann demanded to see some proof to reassure himself. stacker having the card on him makes sense. him having that bulky #tape doesn’t. meaning hermann pressured him into leaving getting the tape and coming back to show him. anyways one more bit. so the drift. #hermann is clearly scared out of his mind and thinking abt the impending triple event. yet he still drifts with newt he does it to protect #him to take part of the neural load. and it takes a toll on hermann it makes a big enough mess of his brain that he ends with him bleeding #and shaking and sweating and coughing and throwing up. and he knew it would take a toll. he knew it would be a lot he’s seen the jaegers. #he’s seen what happens. he knows it will be rough. he knows it’ll be much worse for him who wasn’t drifted then for newt who has. yet he #still does it to help newt and to show his care and trust and concern and love and THEYRE DRIFT COMPATIBLE U DONT UNDERSTANDABLE HOW #EMOTIONAL I AM OVER THIS FUCKING OVER THEM #anyways one last thing. the way that they full body slapping each other on the back bear hugged when the throat collapsed (they were behind #herc and tendo so it was a little hard to see. i missed it the first time) in pure adrenaline happiness before we see the quiet tender hug #when they know everything is over for good (for now at least) when it’s time to celebrate when it time to think abt their drift and their #bond and their relationship and their LOVE. i’m so ok abt them rn actually #toad.txt #i wish i wrote this in a keep reading bit and not the tags now. anyways #pacific rim #pacific rim spoilers #newton geiszler #hermann gottlieb #newmann

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation? #uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made #friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go #bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple #the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula #for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b #concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown #its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a #healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take #more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end #of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me #and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this #project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data #bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i #just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem #bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping #ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and #classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die #my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday #who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio #majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes #b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative #ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week #until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad #who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we #die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him #its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of #sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol #whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄 #unrelated

[nomaishuttle]

ohhh fml i was like maybe i cn stya up a bit late after all its weekend tomorrow. no it fucking isnt today was thursday i have work tmrw everything is evil always

#gonna get ready 4 bed ig.. i wanna try n wake up at ermm 545 bc ive been sleeping in far too much and ive barely been brushing my teeth in #the mornings ive mostly just been doing mouthwash #aughhh idk why my body is being so dire today my thighs r doing the incredibly weak and fatigued thing again. i feel like that tweet thats #like im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idc abt that rn but its i probably have some undiagnosed physical disorders but i live in a #garage so idc abt that rn #idk. its been going on for a couple years but its been getting worse to the point i can barely move my legs when it happens #that and then my limbs have been falling asleep very quickly even when theres nothing thyat would like. im not laying on them or anything #ill just be walking or something arms at my sides and one or both will get rly bad pins and needles #and it rly sucks and is weird. but again i live in a fucking garage so it is fr the least of my worries #like rn at my computer typing my arm isnt resting on anything or having any pressure put on it and my hand is falling asleep. UGH #it has been happening a ton with my hands i get this weirxd sensation in my wrist/palm zone that like. idk #its weird and i should prolly get it checked out but i dont have a dr rn and like. worst case scenario i chop my arms off and either surviv #and have a good story or i die and dont have to go to work anymore. so

[ruby-static]

Yet another update:

NERD AQUIRED

#Static screams into the void #Static plays FNV #LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- #I HAVE AQUIRED MY BOY #God I need to play more but shit keeps getting in the way :') #(Also I put WAY too much pressure into the roleplay for Riley and keep putting it off tbh.) #(I want it to be P E R F E C T . ) #Either way- I just had to get this done before I leave to visit family. #So I might not make more progress for a bit- #But I will try to draw more Riley art alongside Artfight stuff!

[fideidefenswhore]

Both girls were delighted with their new brother-- Mary for maternal reasons, and Elizabeth because it gave her a playmate nearer to her own age. By March 1537, the Sheltons had no longer been in charge of the girls' household, which must have been a relief to Mary.

Elizabeth's Women, Tracy Borman

#by m a r c h 1537?? jesus..... #tracy borman #this is sort of what i was talking about in that anon i got so long ago #the narrative about jane as mary's stepmother really needs some examination #either A) she was really not as invested in mary's comfort as some authors have gushed #or B) her influence with henry was pretty minimal #and borman gets some major things wrong in this book so like i'll doublecheck but im pretty sure that paper by jeri l mcintosh gave the sam #timeline and iirc it's borne out by primary sources too... #chapuys selling this as a win is now even more embarassing #the boleyn relatives still as stewards of mary and elizabeth's joint household. jesus #like yeah they were probably kinder to her and had stopped pressurizing her #but that was not so much bcus the most influential boleyns were dead as it was because mary submission had already been achieved.... #for like. four seasons after . #henrician #also playmate is a little. eh . i mean... not exactly #he was pretty sheltered

[sanchoyo]

guess who got a JOB 👈👈😎

#idk how itll actually be but it sounds good in theory!!! #they can do my hours + benefits!!! on part time!!! (GOOD benefits too!!!) PLS LET IT WORK OUT....PRAYER CIRCLE #i dont start until MAYBE next week (or later depending on the speed of the background check/drug test stuff) BUT....it SOUNDS good to me #ill be workin Alone for the most part...just Vibin in my Own Area...free food/drinks too!! #i rly would like for it to work . bc this was GREAT TIMING i lose my dads insurance v v soon like 1 month T_T was starting to sweat over it #AND ITS NOT FAST FOOD OR RETAIL (HUGE W IF I HAD TO GO BACK I WOULD START BAWLING) #+ the boss seemed v nice and chill (and had sick tats) (I DONT HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR A NORMIE COLOR EITHER!!! DOUBLE W) #sanchoyorambles #very very happy. and so nervous i will probably puke #there were no interview questions btw it was just us cracking jokes + paperwork i got hired on the spot B) #i mean /i/ had questions but like none of the usual bs like #'where do u see urself in 5 years. why is this ur ideal job' type shit which was GREAT bc i hate those qs SO MUCH #we all know im here for money. and benefits. we do not need 2 play these games #but actually dishwasher or janitor kinda IS my ideal job?? so??? lol actually #i LIKE chill jobs where im cleaning things im GOOD at it when i had a higher pressure job where my work actually like #could influence HOW WELL AMBULANCES WORKED. IF I MISREAD A BLUEPRINT OR DIDNT DO MINOR THINGS RIGHT. THATWAS SCARY AND TOO MUCH PRESSURE #i mean my real dream job is artist/writer/otherwise creative in nature but. yknow! not realistic rn so....we r doing what we gotta 😤 #i...will try very hard this time #i NEED that debt to be paid off fr

[ragingbullmode]

busted my thumb & both my knees doing carts at work trying to fucking dodge this asshole of a lady kicking her car into reverse so fast & then doing 30 in the parking lot in her stupid honda crv

#personal #like ..... tmi but my thumb isnt very visibly busted up but my nail dug into my finger so hard it was bleeding a Lot #& was a lil pus filled earlier... like it hurts if o put too much pressure on it lmfao... #my knees r really swollen 😭 pretty much shoved myself against the carts at like 100 mph bc she backed out of her space so fast #like man. fuck her i hope her transmission fails 👋

[truethes]

because none of them refuse to leave my brain despite all lifes efforts find some romance/sexuality hcs for my ge.nshin muses:

kaveh. bisexual, but as in disaster bisexual as his semblance of being put together falls apart with every single day. he's the first on a night out in lambads to exclaim how beautiful certain people look, and has canonly (drunkenly) mistaken his roommates muscles to be the dendro archons ...

diluc. never one to label himself, but the closest would be bisexual as well. he's closer to demiromantic, however, given how he chooses to sacrifice the majority of life's own comforts for the mission he'll take to the grave. he's a bit of a traditional lover, so truly does hope to find 'the one' at some point in his life.

kaeya. pansexual to the very core! kaeya's always been seen as a flirt to the people of mondstadt, but truthfully he doesn't waste his time trying to change that. he tends to flirt very nonseriously with his friends in order to get a ruse out of them, but it's extremely clear when he's interested in someone. he doesn't try to hide it, really.

eula. lesbian. she's been into women since a young age but unfortunately has only recently been able to come to terms with her sexuality. allowed a man to court her in her early years as a knight, but this sincerely didn't work out. now her and her ex courter remain good friends, though she keeps him unnamed if having to express her story in the future.

tartaglia. battlesexual? na, he's sincerely just a bisexual, but leans to being demiromantic as well. he's never truly experienced a relationship, but is pretty open to exploring with no strings attached in the meantime. his parents showed him a lot about how a strong relationship should be, and truthfully he wishes to settle for nothing less.

beidou. lesbian. there remains one woman she will always have the biggest crush on and it is a fact known well by both her crew and all of those who reside on her ship for passing travels or long term stay. truthfully she's always found women more beautiful than anything a man could show.

chongyun. hasn't thought on it much at all. he holds romantic interest in masculine people over more feminine, though.

hu tao. definitely pan, however also classifies herself as greyromantic, as most romantic endeavours fall short to all her other interests and her line of work. she's fallen for all sorts of people, but they've all mainly been short term crushes that she's grown out of / lost interest in fairly quickly.

yanfei. bisexual with a feminine presenting preference! she's had a few relationships over the years, but they've all broken up pretty amicably. it was the way her parents fell in love despite one being an adeptus and one not that helped her understand from a young age that love just ... happens. it doesn't matter where, and it doesn't matter who with. as long as you're both in love with one another, you can fight practically anything.

thoma. bisexual with a masculine presenting preference. he's never told a soul but because they were childhood friends, his childhood crush was diluc himself, something he looks back to pretty fondly. his protection of the kamisato clan comes above all else, so the experiences he has had are very short and sweet in comparison to others. he doesn't regret it, though.

itto. oh. 100% pan. granny taught itto that love is just love and he can go ahead and fall for anyone he wants. itto is the biggest crusher, and his feelings are also very obvious no matter how hard he tries to hide it. he's the sweetest when doing so, however. granny taught him those sorts of manners, too.

kazuha. pansexual. when tomo was alive, kazuha knew he held some sort of feelings for him, but never was able to place a proper name on it before it was unfortunately too late. ever since, he hasn't been one to actively look for any future romantic endeavours, but that doesn't mean he considers himself completely shut off from the idea. he's secretly also a bit of a romantic, and hopes to one day experience a love as great as the poets claim.

dehya. bisexual! she has a feminine presenting preference but truly she doesn't mind who she ends up with as long as they're both happy. being a mercenary means she sometimes struggles to get to know people given the fact she doesn't spend too long in their lives, but she always likes the idea of a home she can come back to, even when everything else goes wrong.

cyno. im settling for pan but probably demiromantic as well. most people hes met find him too intimidating to get to know beyond the surface, even after hes tried cracking a joke or two ... its not something he dwells upon nor does he bring it up too much, but that doesn't mean the interest isnt there either.

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #long post / #UNDER THE READ MORE ANYWAU #i have so much muse but work zapped away every ability to type today it was UNREALLL #some of these hcs r rlly sweet to me but also if you write any other muses mentioned dont feel pressured into #adopting hcs abt ur muses from my portrayals but also if we ever thread and you want too . #🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕 ur my new bff #these were fun to write but now i wanna be IC!! alas i will be ... soon

[samboverse]

milfs milfs milfs

#Amirah Takagi #Harper Takagi #Amita Bhattacharya #my art #!!! new post! finally #apologies for not posting as often but school n life have been very stressful on me lately :c #artblock n pressure are not a good mix at all FHJGFGG #anyway adding little info abt these ladies in the tags #Amirah works as an English teacher :> she also used to model but quit over a decade ago #amita is a former businesswoman and is currently a convict #there r several reasons for that but I’m too tired to specify em rn #she gets released later on in the story (much to the detriment of her daughter)

[jewishfalin]

Just think the gatekeeping shit around the lesbian community and identity is really pointless and just makes it even harder for lesbians to figure themselves out.

#that shit made it even harder for me to realize i was a lesbian... even though I literally knew since I was a child cuz yknow. #wasnt attracted to boys #but i was like well. i could see myself with a man though. i guess #even though i dont desire that #but theres so much pressure on lesbians to be perfect and do lesbianism right whatever tf that means #and then people claim to support trans and nb/gender queer lesbians until that lesbian is Too Masculine #dumb as hell. then theres the people who claim they love butches soo much til the butch is too gender nonconforming for their taste #like. u r not being any better than terfs and straight bitches. what the hell #and claim they r just respecting lesbian history while actively ignoring it... okay then #vent #birdy screams #anyways

[starlightkun]

ANTICIPATED* UPCOMING FIC RELEASE TIMELINE

saturday, 08/05/23, 2:00 p.m. eastern: the dragon's happily ever after teaser

saturday, 08/12/23, 2:00 p.m. eastern: the dragon's happily ever after full fic release

saturday, 08/26/23, 2:00 p.m. eastern: a brief history of werewolf-human romance (pupsick sequel) teaser

saturday, 09/02/23, 2:00 p.m. eastern: a brief history of werewolf-human romance (pupsick sequel) full fic release

TBA, expected mid september: miracle (romance is dead sequel)

*subject to change at author discretion

⤷ blog masterlist

#i usually dont do big announcements like this bc the formality feels like a lot of pressure for me #but it was like too much to put into real words in like an actual random text post #timeline made more sense in my brain #and all of these things minus miracle/rid2 r done so no presh on me #and tdhea teaser is already scheduled :)) #i really want my phantasmagorical fic (sungchan hockey player) for october bc it has a halloween party in it lmao #but its not nearly close to being finished so i didnt put it on here #but i have been working on it in tandem w my strawberry sunday fics actually! #anyway im excited for all of these #miracle/rid2 is very close to being done i literally have two halves of scenes left #anyway #talk #text #mine #writing #f: tdhea #f: abh #f: miracle #au: strawberry sunday

[noxtivagus]

i love perdev sm

#🌙.rambles #my fav class fr #;;; adolescence huh. period between childhood n adulthood... pressure. decisions. #oh man 'is it easy being an adolescent' i have sm to say on that but i'm too tired to speak rn #i'm too tired to recite rn but some of my classmates' answers r pretty interesting. i can rlly see the kind of ppl they are #personally for me tho my answer. less than expectations of society n all #not much ppl quite as talk abt how hard it is to adjust. that middle ground between #missing the past n looking forward to the future #'fit into society' huh. i understand that a lot ;;; less in the comparing way but #there's no point in comparing myself to others. i know i'm mature n confident in that sense #but it's lonely when you /feel/ different from the rest of the world #bcs god i'm not exactly overachieving anymore bcs my mental health has been flopping but #i'm smart. yeah i perform great even in school despite my increasingly shitty mental health #i'm deeply attuned w my thoughts n emotions as well as that of others #i'm proud of my mindset honestly. i love my love for everyone's individuality n my own personal identity. i love my gratitude and grit #i'm a music person. an arts person. a writer. #for a lot of ppl managing all those stuff is hard. #we all struggle but i think there's a different kind of pain when you're self-aware of that struggle #n so ppl like me r stuck between being kind/harsh to themselves. #n oh we really do think and feel deeper than most ppl. n it feels lonely when we can't really share it w others #i know i'm intelligent but when my mental health struggles then social stuff rlly is a big weakness of mine ;;; #yh hmm i'm always improving but i think recently for the past few weeks #it's been harder than usual to manage it all. for numerous reasons i'm aware of #oh yeah this is definitely adolescence;;; n i'm nearly a year older so. yh goddamn that pressure #'as much as you want to achieve this personal independence you still need guidance' yeah . #it's hard to accept that tho. bcs there's feeling like a burden & uh. the reason why i kin to a certain ffxiv character;;; #ms my support systems r falling apart tho . oh god that thought is a bit painful but perdev reminded me of stuff again #as long as i continue to improve n challenge myself. to only be better than who i am yesterday. that's enough. at my own pace #ahh there you go i feel better again. i really just needed to hear it. w another person's voice. i remember again #it's still hard for me these days especially bcs i'm more tired n drained than usual but i really needed that reminder.

[loverofallthingssmart]

why r there so many ppl at this get together

#first off thsi was supposed to be close friends but there r two new families and i can’t do this… #PLUS i’ve been now promoted to fucking babysitter i GATE being the only girl teenager here #its vishu sadya 😭😭 i want to eat good food there is TOO much stress #i feel like i’m in a pressure cooker i need OUT!!!!