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bikehubb · 8 months

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Improve Your Ride With Must-Have Bike Accessories.

Bike accessories are the essential companions of any motorcyclist, elevating their riding experience to new heights. These accessories are more than just additions; they are indispensable tools that enhance safety, comfort, and convenience on the road.

In this comprehensive guide, we'll delve into a wide array of bike accessories that will revolutionize your rides.

Bluetooth-enabled Bike Accessories

Bluetooth-enabled bike accessories revolutionize motorcycle riding by seamlessly integrating communication and entertainment.

These accessories, exemplified by brands like Sena and Cardo, allow riders to stay connected without compromising safety.

They offer hands-free phone calls, music streaming, and GPS directions, enhancing convenience and enjoyment on the road.

Moreover, Bluetooth systems facilitate inter-rider communication,

improving safety by enabling riders to quickly convey information about hazards or directions.

While they add convenience and connectivity, it's vital to use these devices responsibly,

minimizing distractions and prioritizing safety at all times.

Bluetooth accessories have become indispensable tools for modern motorcyclists, elevating their riding experience to new heights.

Smart Helmets: Essential Bike Accessories

Smart helmets are game-changing bike accessories, integrating a heads-up display

(HUD) for essential data like speed and navigation.

They also feature integrated Bluetooth for hands-free calls and music streaming.

With some models boasting hind-view cameras, these accessories

enhance safety and convenience, keeping riders informed without distractions.

Smart helmets represent the zenith of motorcycle gear invention, combining style

and technology to review the riding experience, prioritizing safety on the road.

GPS Navigation

Getting lost during a motorcycle lift can be a rider's agony, but devoted GPS

navigation systems designed for bikes are then to deliver you.

Among the most precious bike accessories, these biases help riders plan routes,

avoid business logjams,

and pinpoint near services and amenities. Some models are finagled to

be waterproof, featuring glove-friendly touch defenses that feed to riders

in colorful rainfall conditions.

Heated Gear-Vital Bike Accessories for Comfort

For those fearless souls who brave the elements on two wheels, heated gear reigns supreme among bike accessories.

Jackets, gloves, and pants equipped with heating elements are powered by your motorcycle's electrical system,

offering adjustable temperature settings to keep you warm and comfortable during

chilly rides, extending your riding season through the colder months.

USB Charging Ports

In today's digital age, staying connected is a top priority for many riders.

The installation of USB charging ports on your motorcycle solves the problem

of device battery drainage during extended rides.

These bike accessories allow you to effortlessly charge your smartphone, GPS device,

or other gadgets without worrying about running out of battery power mid-journey.

Security Systems

Security systems are pivotal bike accessories for securing your prized motorcycle.

These systems give peace of mind by guarding your bike from theft and

unauthorized access.

GPS Trackers GPS trackers are necessary for bike accessories.

They offer real-time monitoring of your motorcycle's position, allowing you to

track it at all times. In case of theft, this technology can be invaluable

in recovering your bike snappily. admonitions Motorcycle admonitions serve

as interference to implicit stealers and alert you to suspicious exertion around

your bike. These admonitions are designed to be loud and attention-grabbing,

discouraging theft attempts.

Immobilizers Some security systems include electronic immobilizers that help

your bike from starting unless you kill them.

This added subcaste of protection can baffle theft attempts indeed if stealers

have physical access to your bike.

Investing in security systems as part of your bike accessories is a wise decision to

ensure your motorcycle remains safe and secure at all times

LED Lighting

LED lighting is a must-have among bike accessories, significantly perfecting

safety and style. These energy-effective lights enhance night visibility,

promoting road safety.

Some smart LED systems, considered essential bike accessories, indeed

offer remote customization of colors and lighting patterns, adding a unique

faculty to your motorcycle's appearance.

LED lighting combines functionality and aesthetics, ensuring you are both visible and

swish on the road, making it a necessary addition to your collection of

bike accessories.

Rider-Assist Systems

Modern motorcycles often come equipped with advanced rider-assist systems like

traction control, ABS (Anti-lock Braking System), and multiple ride modes.

However, aftermarket rider-assist bike accessories can offer similar benefits

for those seeking further enhancements. These add-ons provide an extra layer

of control and safety on the road.

Conclusion

Incorporating the right bike accessories into your riding gear can make a world of difference, enhancing your safety, convenience, and overall enjoyment on the road. Whether you're a daily commuter or a passionate weekend rider, these accessories are your gateway to a heightened motorcycle experience.

Prioritize safety, and choose bike accessories that align with your riding style and preferences. With these indispensable companions, you can take your rides to new heights, embarking on exhilarating journeys with confidence and style.

#motorbike #motorcycle accessories #motorbike jacket #motorcycle #rider

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myridercourse · 1 year

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Tips for Acing the Motorcycle Riding Test

Are you preparing for your motorcycle riding test? Feeling nervous but determined to ace it? Well, you've come to the right place! We understand how important passing this test is for you, and we're here to help. In this blog post, we'll be sharing some tips that will not only help you pass your motorcycle riding test but also make sure that you ace it with flying colors! So, fasten your seatbelts (or, in this case, helmets), and let's ride straight into acing the motorcycle riding test!

The Importance of a Motorcycle Riding Test

Motorcycle riding tests are important for two reasons. The first reason is that a motorcycle riding test proves that the person can safely operate a motorcycle. The second reason is that motorcycle riding tests help reduce the risk of getting in an accident while driving a motorcycle.

Prepare for the Motorcycle Riding Test

If you plan on taking your motorcycle riding test, there are a few things you'll need to do in advance.

First, make sure that you have a valid motorcycle license. You will also need a driver's license with at least 6 months of experience operating a motorcycle. If you don't have either of these things, you can get them through the DMV.

Second, practice! The more time you spend riding your motorcycle, the better prepared you will be for the riding test. There are many safe and fun ways to practice riding your bike, so find something that works best for you.

The last thing to remember is to be aware of your surroundings and use common sense when driving a motorcycle. Remember that motorcycles are powerful machines and should always be treated with respect. If all goes well on your riding test and you receive a sticker saying "Passed," it's time to start planning your dream ride!

Tips for Safe Motorcycle Riding

Now that you have decided to learn how to ride a motorcycle, here are some tips to keep you safe while riding:

-Be aware of your surroundings. While it is essential to focus on the road ahead, be aware of the traffic around you and what other vehicles are doing.

-Stay alert and maintain control of your motorcycle at all times. If you find yourself losing control, immediately pull over and stop your motorcycle. Remain calm and exercise caution when making any sudden movements.

-Observe the rules of the road. When riding on public roads, observe all traffic laws and signs. Obey red lights and stop signs, as well as lane markings. Do not pass on the right or left side if there is a marked center line; pass only when it is safe.

-Use proper gear and clothing. Wear appropriate gear, including a helmet, eye protection, gloves, and long pants or sleeves to protect against weather conditions and injury in case of a crash.

Use Your Skills to Avoid Accidents

When you take your motorcycle riding test, use your skills to avoid accidents. Here are some tips:

• Wear a helmet. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), wearing a helmet can reduce the risk of death by 50% or more in a motorcycle crash. Wearing a helmet also can help protect your head in other crashes.

• Ride defensively. When you're on the road, always ride defensively and be aware of your surroundings. This means watching for other vehicles, pedestrians, cyclists, and wildlife. Stay far enough back that you can react quickly if necessary, but don't be so far back that you can't see what's happening ahead.

• Slow down when approaching a curve or intersection. Slow down gradually when approaching a curve or intersection and scan the area before proceeding. If there are no traffic lights at the intersection, use caution when deciding whether to go through it. Always obey traffic signals!

Conclusion

After reading our tips on how to ace the motorcycle riding test, you should have a good idea of what it takes and what you need to do to be successful. If you are currently preparing for your motorcycle riding test, make sure that you review our advice and practice as much as possible. Once you feel confident that you can pass the motorcycle riding test easily, go out and enjoy the freedom that motorcycling provides!

#motorcycle riding test

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idlerexperiments · 2 years

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Give the Bullet a new look with these superbike accessories!

Royal Enfield is a bike that you can easily modify and give a different look. For this, there are also companies in the market that give a completely different look by customizing your bike. But for this, they also charge a high price.

Today we have brought you such accessories for Royal Enfield Bikes that are not only low in price but will also give your bike a completely different look. So let's know about those accessories;

Light Grill Caver: You can decorate the headlight of Royal Enfield's bike with a grille corner. It's very much in vogue these days. This grille is also available in black metallic and other colors. You can buy it online for just Rs 350 to Rs 600.

Leg Guard Rope: You can also make the leg guard of your bullet completely different. Buy leg guard rope where you can easily put your LG. The installation is also easy. Its price ranges from Rs 165 to Rs 300.

USB Mobile Charger: The mobile charger is no longer limited to only cars, but now you can also incorporate it into your bike. It gives a different feature to your Royal Enfield Bullet or any sports motorcycle. You can buy this charger online for just Rs 300 to Rs 600.

Chain cleaner brush: Royal Enfield's bikes are better off-roaders. It is easily run on the road and condition of every stage. In such a situation, its chain needs special attention. You can use a chain cleaner brush to give your bullet a different feature. You can buy this brush online for just Rs 150 to Rs 200.

LED headlights: This is one of the popular Royal Enfield accessories. These lights give you better light also good visibility for a long time. These LED lights are available on online shopping sites at prices ranging from Rs 1800 to Rs 5,000.

Steel handlebar: You can also use handlebars of different sizes and designs in your bullet. There are many different design handlebars in the market nowadays. It gives the bike a different look and also improves your seating position. On online shopping sites, these handlebars are available in the range of Rs 1500 to Rs 2,000.

Like this, there are many other superbikes accessories you can find. If you want some reviews over Royal Enfield all-season Riding Pant or Royal Enfield X TCX Stelvio Riding Boots then visit IDLER EXPERIMENTS YouTube channel. Visit the channel, and watch the videos now. If you like they don't forget to like, share and subscribe. Visit now!

#Royal Enfield #Sports Motorcycle #Royal Enfield Accessories #Superbikes Accessories

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leathercollectionus · 3 years

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Best motorcycle chaps

These Torque Best Motorcycle Chaps Leather are everything you need for all-day comfort on a bike. A stretch panel in the thigh, lining that drops to just below the knee, and side zippers let you enjoy the ride all day with no discomfort in these best leather chaps. Best motorcycle chaps best motorcycle chain, best motorcycle helmet, best motorcycle lock, best motorcycle safety gear, Biker Chaps,…

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missbeautyandherbeast · 4 years

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Midnight Rider

Raphael X Biker!Reader

Summary: Raphael, fed up and needing to blow off some steam, goes out for a night ride not expecting company. Until a mysterious rider challenges him... and he feels free for once in his life... but who’s behind the helmet and leather?

A/N: So in light of me getting my motorcycle license and a bike, here’s this cute little piece that I love so much. Because nothing is freeing like flying down backroads. It’s also safe to do while social distancing so... yay for me. I love you guys. Let me know what you think!! Seriously, I love your comments and reblogs, they make my day.

Tags: @brightlotusmoon @boatloadsofheart @legandarybeauty @crazywritingbug @bitch-kms @ravn-87 @just-a-casual-fangirl-011 @unicornjoos @stuckoutsideofthebox @ilikestuffproductions @whygz @coffee-addicti @sugarspooks15@leslieebee@serperiorkb@blossom-skies@fantastical-67impala-fangirl@coresan @big-banging-red @iceprincess2019 @raphaeladdict @thirstyforvenom @merindagriese @depressedemo-152 @bengewatch @corabmarie @bitemebro522 @tmnt-queen @muleka-loka @violet-sky-96 @curadopordeus @artemismohr18 @thewhisperpen @xjupitermoonsx @bisexualbumblebeesstuff @merindagriese@oceans-daughter-3 @dixonreedusfangirlforever @shanidenise @thegayestfish441 @lovelyyroseee @yourlieberhoe @dolphincommander

Raph was bored. Completely bored. The Kraang had been taken down and no one had heard from the Shredder or the Foot Clan. No mutants, no mutagen, no criminals. What was he supposed to do? Train? Been there done that? Argue with Leo? Fun, but not now. Casey was out of state for the next week, so he had nothing to do.

Huffing he headed to the garage and suited up. He was going to ride. All night and maybe he would come back.

Pulling onto the street, he raced off, going as far as he could until he was forced to turn. It was freeing. To be out there alone with no one to answer to, with no one expecting anything of him. The surge of euphoria and adrenaline coursed through him.

Yeah, this is what he needed.

He followed the streets, no real direction but his own digression guiding him.

Until someone zipped past him.

He shifted to a stop, staring at the rogue biker who slowed as well, but didn’t stop. The biker stuck their hand down and gave the two fingered biker salute... something an experienced biker knew. Something that he knew.

The biker was beckoning him on. Maybe Raph wouldn’t be alone tonight. Putting his bike back into gear he raced towards the biker in black. He couldn’t make out who they were under the helmet, or the layers of leather that they wore. They were as faceless as he was.

The biker slowed at a stop light and looked over to Raph. He could only guess what the mysterious rider wanted. Until they revved and stared at him longer. If he could only see under their visor. Without the response that they wanted the rider revved their engine again and tilted their chin back.

A challenge.

A grin curled across Raph’s face.

He could do a challenge.

With a simple nod Raphael geared up his bike, knowing he would easily overtake this rider with the modifications Donnie made to it.

The rider took off without a second thought that had Raph chasing after. They turned abruptly, making him take a wider arch than necessary, losing ground for him. Cursing, Raph threw his bike into a higher gear, pushing it harder.

When the rider was within reach, they stopped almost instantly and took the nearest right. Raph was going too fast to think to make that so he did the next best thing: he went up a block and met his rider as they raced past him.

Laughing Raph raced after them, forgetting the challenge and for once just letting someone else lead who knew what they were doing. His rider challenged him, turning sharply, speeding down straights, taking turns faster than he would. They were wild and free as they rocketed down the bridge. A kind of wild and free that he wanted to be.

His rider was nearing the edges of the city, to the unknown. Somewhere Raph couldn’t follow. Regretfully he slowed, staying in the city streets. His rider slowed and made a wide arch making their way back to him. Side by side they stared another down.

“Who are you?” Raph asked.

They said nothing but took off, disappearing before Raphael could catch up.

__________________________________

In the safely of my garage I unfastened my helmet and panted softly, grinning. I had never met anyone as daring and reckless and I was when it came to riding. It was... euphoric having a partner who could keep up... let me lead even.

I couldn’t ruin that. He asked who I was. I knew as soon as he knew that I wasn’t whatever macho biker guy he was imagining; we’d lose whatever tonight was.

Not like I didn’t know who he was. I knew of the Night watcher. And I knew of the four brothers who protected this city. I rode at night. And at night you see things.

Another reason he couldn’t know who I was.

__________________________________

“Where have you been?” Leo demanded as he strolled back into the Lair.

“Out.” Raph smirked.

“Out where?” Leo almost snarled.

“Chill out Fearless. I was riding, no need for you to go all mother hen.” Raph scoffed, flopping onto the couch.

“Did anyone see you?” Leo hissed.

“No one who wasn’t as reckless as I was.” Raph smirked switching on the tv.

“What does that mean?” Leo stood in front of the flickering image; his arms folded.

“There was another rider out tonight. We rode together. And before you ask, no I didn’t blow cover.” Raph craned his neck to see around Leo.

“There was another rider? This late?” Leo was lost in thought. “Are they dangerous?”

Raph rolled his eyes. “Yes Leo, they’re planning to take over the world by riding at two in the morning around the streets of New York,”

Leo pursed his lips and shook his head in dismay before heading off to the dojo.

Raph didn’t pay him any mind. All he could think about was the mysterious rider. Who were they? Where did they come from? Where had they learned to ride like that? And most importantly, would they be out tomorrow night again?

Raph never really looked forward to much. Maybe a UFC fight here and there, or the anticipation of a mission... but this was different. This almost made him nervous. Would they be back tonight? Would he see them again? Would he feel free again?

As he rode the streets, looking for his rider, his hope started to wane. They didn’t seem to be out tonight. Maybe whatever had happened last night was a fluke, and it wasn’t to happen again.

Raph sighed, racing the streets. It wasn’t the same doing it alone. There was nothing to prove. There was no one to chase after.

Until there was.

His rider peeled out of an alley way and trailed behind him. In his review he could see the salute again that they gave. Another challenge. This time he was going to lead.

Grinning Raph took off, shifting into high gear and racing down the streets of New York. His biker was right there beside him, keeping pace, leaned forward in anticipation like he was.

A sharp turn that he took, and the rider was right behind him. They sped through the tunnels and into the outskirts before turning back and weaving through neighborhoods. The feeling of freedom coursed through Raph’s veins as he pushed his rider harder and harder.

On the Brooklyn bridge he slowed and stopped in the middle. His rider paused beside him, lookin g at him, questioning.

“Who are you?” He asked again, more in wonder than wanting an actual answer.

______________________________

Again, he asked. And I almost gave in. I wanted to give in.

But I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want our rides to be over. Not when the fun had just begun. So again, I took off and disappeared.

______________________________

For almost a week Raphael went out and rode with his mysterious rider. He has stopped asking for who they were and instead they would ride together, getting into more trouble than he cared to admit, until they’d disappear then reappear the next night.

Every night Raphael would feel free from the mundane nothingness that the Lair offered.

He got reckless.

He got careless.

He took a turn too fast and didn’t calculate the counterbalance that it needed.

______________________________

I watched him drop in my review. He slid about ten yards before stopping.

I screeched to a stop and raced back, dumping my bike, before running over to him. Without thinking my helmet came off and so did my gloves.

“Raph!?” I asked, fear riddling my voice as I crouched beside him. “Raph are you okay!?”

“How do you know who I am?” He grunted, trying to sit up.

I rolled my eyes and checked him over for any potential injuries. All of his gear seemed to be intact, so I could check road rash off the list. I still feared for something to be broken or dislocated... but what did I know about how his body worked versus my own.

“I’m fine,” He snapped. “How do you know who I am?” His helmet came off and he stared me down.

“I ride at night and I have for years. I see things.” I snapped back. “Now are you okay!?” I almost shouted.

“I’m fine,” He chuckled, trying to stand, staggering.

I supported him until he found his bearings. When he did, he looked over at me, for the first time really taking me in. I bit my lip, waiting for the backlash, waiting for the “it’s too dangerous” and “are you crazy.”

He didn’t say anything though. We just stood there, staring at each other.

“You’re not afraid of me.” He finally said.

“And you’re not yelling at me,” I countered.

“Why would I yell at you?” Confusion flitted across his face.

“Oh, come on.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve heard it all before. A chick like me shouldn’t be riding that recklessly. It’s dangerous, I’ll get hurt,” I mocked, scoffing. “So, let me have it,” I crossed my arms.

“I’m the one who crashed, not you. Where’s my lecture?” He smirked.

I blinked, not expecting that.

“You’re not mad? That I’m...” I gestured and shrugged.

“You’re one of the best riders I know. Why would I be mad?” He raised an eyebrow.

I pursed my lips, mulling over his words. All of the thoughts of doubt about what I could do because I was only a girl seemed to fade away. I was his equal, with or without the mask.

A smile spread across my face.

__________________________

“Raph?” The radio on his shoulder piped up

“What?” He snapped back into it. His rider looked like she was going to laugh.

“Are you okay? The bike’s distress signal is going off. Leo’s on his way over.” Donnie informed him.

He cursed and almost snarled. “Why?”

“Because this is getting out of hand Raph,” Leo chimed in. “You’re getting to reckless and one of you is going to get hurt. I don’t care how good the two of you are. Something was bound to happen.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, not saying anything. He rolled his eyes and brushed off her look. She laughed and went over to her bike, standing it up, turning it on long enough to ride over to him and his own bike that he struggled to right. Something was not right with his shoulder. He’d have Donnie set it later.

Leo dropped down from the rooftops just as she helped him stand his bike back up and she picked up her gloves and helmet.

“You’re a girl?” Leo was taken aback.

A laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head, running a hand through her hair.

“Sorry to disappoint.” She drawled.

Leo stared at her, confused and upset. It was one thing that his brother was out being stupid and reckless, it was another thing to drag a lady into his idiocy.

“What’s the matter Leo,” Raph grinned. “Scared of a girl?” He taunted.

“No,” The answer was immediate. She raised an eyebrow at that. “She shouldn’t be out here riding with you.”

______________________________

“And why the hell not!?” I bit out. “Please tell me,” I challenged.

“It’s not safe,” Leo held his head back in dominance.

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not the one who wrecked.” I folded my arms across my chest, glaring him down. “So, get off my case. I’m a better rider than your brother.”

Then realization settled in his eyes.

“You know who we are.” He accused.

I laughed and shook my head.

“Yeah. I do. Got a problem with that?” I wasn’t going to explain myself to Mr. High and Mighty over here. Not a chance.

Leo fumbled for an answer and Raph grinned at me.

“Get hack home. Donnie needs to look at you.” His voice was like ice as he spoke to Raph. He turned to me one last time and scoffed before taking off.

“Well isn’t he a ray of sunshine,” I muttered, looking at Raph. “Are you okay to ride back?”

“Yeah I’m fine,”

I wasn’t convinced. Rolling my eyes and shaking my head I took the key from his bike.

“You’re not driving. I don’t live far from here. I’ll drop my bike off and come back and take you home,” I said, daring him to argue with me, and he did.

________________________________

“Not a chance,” Raph snarked.

“I’m not letting you ride with a dislocated shoulder,” She snapped.

He had to admit that he was impressed that she picked up on that. He has to admit that he was impressed with her period. From her riding skills to her attitude around Leo to her caring side that she let peak through... he didn’t know how to act around her.

So, what could he do but give in?

“Fine,” He mumbled.

She grinned and slid her helmet back on and took off into the night. He stood there, staring after her, wondering where the hell she had come form and how had he not noticed before? She knew more about him and his brothers than he thought anyone did who was an outsider.

She was back not minutes later, helmet tucked under her arm as she made her way to him, his key dangling from her fingertips.

“Ready?” She asked.

“I can ride just fine,” He tried to argue again.

She just rolled her eyes and straddled his bike, turning the key and starting the engine.

“Are you coming or not?” She challenged with a smirk.

After a stare down, he found himself behind her on his bike feeling ridiculous. Without directions she knew where to go. Maybe he should worry about why she knew so much. Pulling into the right alleyway, she killed the engine.

Tossing the key back to him, she started to walk away.

“Hey, wait. Where are you going?” Raph reached out and grabbed her hand gloved in black leather.

“Home?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t you wanna come in? Meet the rest of us? Maybe piss of Leo some more?” He gave a small smirk.

If he was honest, he didn’t want her to leave. Not yet. He had just figured out that his rider was also a badass take no prisoners drop dead gorgeous chick who knew more about him than he liked, and he didn’t want her to leave.

She tilted her chin back, a slight smile on it.

“Maybe another time, Red,” She drawled. “Make sure you take care of your shoulder.”

She left no room for argument in her gaze. He was tongue-tied for the first time in his life and he watched her walk away, hips swaying softly, her hand giving the biker salute.

“Y/n,” She called over her shoulder as she rounded the corner. “Since you never asked,” She smirked and winked, gone from his sight.

Like my stuff? Here’s my masterlist!

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ijustwant2ride · 10 months

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Motorcycle Product Review: Sherrie Leggings by Wind & Throttle

My wife has been looking for armored motorcycle pants for a while. What she really wanted was armored motorcycle pants made for women.

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joopiterjoon · 4 years

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Piece of Peace- MiniMoni

Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin

Genre: +18, Strangers/enemies-kind-of to lovers?

Warnings/Tags: Kittygang!Jimin, Professor!Namjoon, swearing, mentions of gangs and gang violence, stealing motorcycles, anal sex, sex on a motorcycle, exhibitionism (of course), FYI I don’t know much (anything) about motorcycles

Wordcount: 1k

a/n: this is technically part 3 of Boys Meets Evil and Burning Up, but you can read it by itself! Also this was FOREVER ago but thank you @honeymoonjin and @ddaenggtan for reviewing this and telling me if it’s kitty gang worthy!

Part of ficswithluv’s #FWLBingo!

Everything about the Harley dealership is new. The pristine floors, the smell, the design. Even the echoes of engines, obviously a repeated sound bouncing around the fancy space, sound unique each time. Everything the place contains within is shiny and desirable.

It’s exactly where Namjoon wants to be. Surrounded by newness, he’ll craft a new him. One that isn’t clumsy, isn’t known for being nerdy.

One that befits his new boyfriend, Jimin Park.

But with a shake of his glasses, Namjoon thinks he may need a new bank account.

“What do you think?” the ever eager salesman asks. Namjoon stands, straightening his secondhand, jean jacket as he eyes the (probably new) suit of the man.

“Ah, it’s… it’s nice,” Namjoon smiles shyly. He’s not sure what words he should be using. He googled motorcycle terminology, but all that escapes him now.

“Would you like to take it for a spin?” the salesman presses with a little shake of his hips. His balanced persona of friendly and pushy is a bit terrifying. Namjoon laughs nervously. He doesn’t know if he should get on something he can’t afford, it might just hurt more when he has to say no.

A hand slides around his waist under his jacket. Naturally, Namjoon eases into the touch despite the public display. He jostles into his boyfriend’s side. “What do you think, babe? Gonna hop on?”

“Ah,” Namjoon clears his throat. He looks down at Jimin whose head rests on his shoulder. He immediately regrets it. Behind the shades, Namjoon can see the lazy look in his eye. Namjoon tries to distract himself by looking lower, only to see Jimin’s tongue wet his plush lips, only to then glance even lower and see how far Jimin’s thin, white shirt is dipping down his chest. Jimin’s undeterred by the price tags that surround him. Hell, Jimin looks more expensive than the thousands of dollars of metal littered around the stage room.

Namjoon decides to focus on the salesman instead. “It’s a bit out of my price range.”

Jimin’s tinkling laugh sends a chill up Namjoon’s spine. He bites down his smile. He still can’t believe he can make such a man laugh. That from the shadows he managed to capture the attention of a man who constantly danced in the spotlight.

Jimin always laughed when Namjoon marveled at him. He apparently felt the same way. As a reckless boy from the streets, he doesn’t understand how someone with a masters would be captivated by him.

They fit each other, filled in the cracks of where they were lacking, the yin to yang, in more ways than one.

“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Jimin tells the salesclerk, pinching Namjoon’s cheek.

“Yes, Mr. Park,” the salesclerk chimes, tucking his hands behind his back with a small bow.

Namjoon’s jaw drops. He shoots Jimin a questioning gaze, but Jimin just shrugs.

“Are you serious?” He hisses, straightening his glasses. “What did you do?”

“What?” Jimin asks, lowering his glasses so Namjoon can see the faux-innocence in his eyes. It’s one of those looks that reminds him when to keep his mouth closed. “I’m just cashing in a favor… literally.”

Jimin gives his side a squeeze before walking over to the bike, his boots clacking on the floor. The salesman’s shoulders tense a bit as Jimin runs a finger along the back of the bike.

“Yes, thank you, Mr. Park.”

That. That’s why Namjoon wants a bike. Wants anything, anything that can put him on par with his boyfriend. No matter what Jimin says, Namjoon is still just a bookworm when it boils down to it. He knows Jimin’s much softer than he appears, too, but he wants that. Jimin’s ease, his natural ability to control a room and all that’s in it.

“I want to see what you look like on top,” Jimin winks. He leans over the back, head cocked, lightly shifting his hips towards the bike.

Namjoon’s brain short circuits at the insinuation. Unable to resist, he draws closer to the bike. His nervous hands tentatively stroke the handle, feeling the ridges of the rubber under his fingers.

“Please,” Namjoon folds his lips in, terrified he’d said that out loud. But he realizes it was the salesman, bowed with the key extended.

Jimin could make anyone beg.

When Namjoon takes the key, the salesman starts to wheel the bike towards the entrance. Jimin winds his arm back around Namjoon’s waist as they walk, rubbing circles into his back.

“You’re gonna look so hot, babe,” Jimin muses. He still watches Namjoon. Only him, nothing else in the store. None of the pretty toys, the other men, the passing cars. Whenever he’s with Namjoon, Jimin’s eyes are always on him. Namjoon shrinks under the attention, but he loves it.

Outside, Namjoon straddles the bike. He gives it a once over, trying to remember everything Jimin taught him. It’s different than his bike, but he can figure it out.

“Hot damn,” Jimin sighs. “You look like an 80’s heartthrob.”

Namjoon giggles. He appreciates that Jimin noticed he dressed for the part.Taking his glasses off and safely tucking them into his pocket, he pats it twice to make sure they won’t shake out.

“Oh my god,” Jimin giggles, tripping over to the bike. “Don’t. That was so cute.”

He comes round to the front of the bike. He puts his hands over Namjoon’s, straddling the front tire. Namjoon tries to sit straight under his boyfriend’s wandering gaze.

Jimin licks his lips again, fingers tightening over Joon’s as his other hand runs through his hot pink hair. His rings hurt a bit, but Namjoon would never tell Jimin to let go.

“This is a wet dream. I’m living a wet dream right now.”

Namjoon chokes. He should be saying the same thing. Jimin is about to buy him a motorcycle. Jimin is straddling said motorcycle, tight pants and loose shirt leaving little his imagination. Jimin is… Jimin.

“Wanna ride me?” Namjoon asks.

Jimin’s eyes darken, his lips parting a bit.

“W-WITH” Namjoon stutters. “Ride with? I meant do you want to-”

Jimin’s lips silence him. Soft, molding to his own. He brushes the stray strands of hair out of Namjoon’s face. He pulls back only to put the helmet on Namjoon’s head. Namjoon watches while Jimin pouts a bit, trying to find the strap under his chin.

Namjoon may be getting hard. Jimin pats the side of the helmet and all the thoughts in Namjoon’s head jumble.

“Let’s do both,” Jimin smiles. A large, boyish grin that lets Namjoon know he’s a goner.

“Wha-really?” Namjoon asks, trying to spin around as Jimin slings himself over the back of the bike. Namjoon yelps when Jimin’s hands accidentally dip a bit too low, grabbing at his crotch before drifting up to his waist.

“I’ll tell you where to go,” Jimin shouts. “Throttle it, baby.”

Namjoon nods, looking at the controls before him. He goes through the motions, missing how Jimin’s hands usually guide him. His favorite part about being with Jimin is he’s never in charge. Jimin watches over him, tells him what to do, what not to do, that he’s doing great. It’s such a contrast to Namjoon’s daily life where he’s constantly critiquing others and making decisions for his department. He craves Jimin even more after a long day.

And boy was today a long day. And he definitely, really craves Jimin when he nuzzles the plastic helmet into his back, all muscle pressed flush against him.

Namjoon never thought he’d like motorcycles. Until he met Jimin, he thought they were just accidents waiting to happen. But now, he sees the joy. Of course, it’s still incredibly dangerous, which is why Jimin directs him to the back roads. But the wind whipping by him feels like he’s flying. The loud roar of the motor cancels out all other thoughts. The metal horse beneath him answers to each of his movements.

And of course, he knows he looks fucking cool. Jimin’s friend Jungkook showed him photos of their nights together. Jimin was right, Namjoon looks hot on a bike.

Eventually, Namjoon figures out where they’re going. His heart rate picks up. There’s something different about driving Jimin to their spot, instead of him clinging to Jimin’s back as he guides them to the secluded spot.

He rounds the last corner up the hill, pausing before the road turns to dirt.

Jimin’s helmet knocks into his. Namjoon laughs. Jimin tried to tuck his chin over his shoulder as always, but the bulky helmets block him.

“Keep going!” Jimin shouts.

Namjoon rubs the handles nervously. “The bike will get dirty.”

He imagines Jimin’s eye roll, that accompanies his sassy, “Always such a good boy. Drive.”

Namjoon doesn’t need to be told twice. By now, he understands Jimin’s commands will always be obeyed, by will or force.

And he’s long from cursing how that makes his stomach stir with excitement.

The bike is harder to control offroad. Namjoon focuses hard. Each bump and shuffle reminds him how skilled Jimin and his friends are when they whip through the city streets, over curbs, and across sidewalks.

Jimin’s helmet is off before Namjoon’s brought the bike to a standstill at the top of the hill. The city lights are flickering on below them, but up here there’s nothing but trees. It reminds Namjoon of them. How Jimin sparkles and shines below, and Namjoon watches on from up here as a simple tree in a vast forest. It’s only a certain amount of time before Jimin consumes him, just like the city will someday reach this secluded space.

Jimin surprised him by not appreciating the implication that he would destroy the environment in some way. He’d wrestled Namjoon to the ground that day, demanding he creates a cuter metaphor before he declared it “their spot.”

But today, Jimin just jumps off the bike and jumps forward to twirl about a few times as he takes in the fresh air.

Namjoon stares on once his helmet’s off. The setting sun paints the sky a soft pink, the same as Jimin’s hair. His boyfriend looks so free out here, leather jacket filled with the breeze and his smile overtaking all his features.

Namjoon swings his leg over the bike and leans against it for support. He feels a bit like jelly, hands and legs still vibrating from the ride. Jimin continues to prance around, shouting and giggling and jumping. He is free, Namjoon reminds himself. And not even Namjoon can tame him. Everything about him oozes courage and unbridled happiness. Namjoon wants to be like that. He wants to set his own standard for happiness, just like he chooses to forge head off road.

“Joonie,” Jimin sings, running full-force at Namjoon. Namjoon braces against the attack, but Jimin just skids to a stop in front of him. He smiles up at him, a giggle shaking his shoulders.

“Mini,” Namjoon murmurs low. Jimin somehow smiles wider. Namjoon loves it. They don’t get it. The world. The way confessions and blockades all fade away for Jimin. For anyone with Jimin.

As though Jimin knows he’s considering fading, he grips the edges of Namjoon’s jean jacket and yanks him forward. Namjoon gasps, hands bracing on Jimin’s chest. He closes in, simultaneously trying to take in as much of Namjoon as he can. He noses at Namjoon’s jawline. He waits for a shudder to rock through Namjoon before he nips at his ear, giggling in response to Namjoon’s whine.

“So…” Jimin trails off. He pulls back so Namjoon can see the devilish mischief in his eyes.

“Yeah?” Namjoon breathes. He leans forward, focused on Jimin’s smirking lips, but Jimin tucks his chin. Namjoon whines in protest, which only makes Jimin throw his head back in laughter.

“I rode here with you,” Jimin teases. He presses a chaste kiss to Namjoon’s cheek.

“Did I do good?” Namjoon asks.

“Yes,” Jimin laughs again. Namjoon runs his palms over Jimin’s shoulders, under the jacket. To his surprise, Jimin drops his grip on the jacket, shrugging his own off his shoulders. Instead, he shoves his hips into Namjoon’s, the bike shaking a bit as Namjoon falls back into it. He reaches out to support himself in case the thing falls. Jimin’s hands fall over his own, caging him into the bike. He could care less if the bike falls over.

“What was your other question earlier?” Jimin teases. His eyes have that same lazy look like in the dealership. Namjoon’s cheeks warm.

“Did I do good?” Namjoon repeats. He gulps when Jimin leans a little closer, lips hovering before his own. He looks like an angel, soft features and pink hair framed by the twilight.

“To ride you,” Jimin corrects with a roll of his hips. He finally closes the space, only to kiss at the sensitive spot below his ear.

Okay, well, Namjoon did say looks like an angel. He’s well aware he’s far from it.

“Ah, that would be,” Namjoon clears his throat, sinking on to the seat to help his shaking legs. He reaches to adjust his glasses but forgets he isn’t wearing them. No mind, Jimin grabs his hand, kissing over his palm and wrist, watching him with syrupy sweet eyes. “That would be cool.”

“Cool,” Jimin giggles into his palm. He scrapes his teeth over his wrist. Namjoon whimpers. “You’re so cool these days, Joonie.”

“Stop teasing,” Namjoon whines.

Jimin’s eyes darken. He grabs Namjoon’s wrist and twists. With a yelp, Namjoon’s body involuntarily twists to avoid the impending pain. Jimin grabs his waist to have him turned flush against his hips as he kicks at Namjoon’s foot to have him straddled lower. His hand wanders to the button of Namjoon’s pants, easily undoing them. His tongue travels, slow, up the length of Namjoon’s neck.

“Okay,” Jimin murmurs into the shell of Namjoon’s ear. Namjoon tries to lace his fingers with Jimin’s over his zipper, but Jimin grabs his wrist. He guides Namjoon’s hands to rest on the handlebar and the back seat. “10 and 2, babe. I know how you like your rules.”

Namjoon nods. The bike is sturdy beneath his hands, unlike his mind that whirls in a hazy fog of Jimin. When he looks up, he’s reminded that they’re in the open, in their spot, the city down below just as capable of looking up.

Jimin’s undeterred, of course. After fixing the zipper, Jimin slips both his hands into Namjoon’s jeans, letting the push help Namjoon’s pants down his thighs as he smooths over the skin, rounding out to squeeze Namjoon’s ass.

“God, Joonie,” Jimin groans. “Fuck, there’s so much of you. Love it.”

Namjoon hums in response, eyes falling closed as Jimin’s hands wander over his skin. He can’t be nervous with Jimin here. Jimin’s invincible. He doesn’t care. And when Namjoon’s with him, he starts to feel the same, too.

“Should I-” Namjoon starts to take the jacket off, but Jimin wraps himself around him.

“Fuck no,” Jimin answers. When he’s sure Namjoon won’t move again, he gets back to work, kneading Namjoon’s ass cheeks, thumbs sneaking closer and closer. As his pinkies sweep lower, Namjoon jumps, then almost falls over the front of the bike. Jimin’s arm wraps around his waist to keep Namjoon from falling headfirst over the other side.

“This isn’t gonna work,” Jimin tuts.

Namjoon’s heart drops.

“What? No, please, please don’t, please fuck me, ride me, please,” he babbles. He turns quickly, a little panicked. He can’t bear when Jimin starts and leaves him hanging.

But when his gaze finally meets Jimin’s the man looks amused. He’s trying to bite back his smile. “Joonie, I meant the position.”

Namjoon’s blush deepens. Here he is, bent over (maybe?) his new bike begging his boyfriend to fuck him.

“Get on the bike backwards,” Jimin orders with a flip of his hand. He walks to the back of the bike, then straddles it til he’s in the seat like he’s about to go for a ride. He pats the rounded metal between the handlebars.“Come be my motorcycle, babe.”

Shit, how many times had Namjoon wished he was underneath Jimin, dreamed about being fucked on his bike? He almost trips trying to get out of his pants. Jimin offers his hand like a gentleman, helping Namjoon sit in front of him.

It’s not until he’s there, hands braced behind him on the extended handles, that he realizes how exposed he is. His pants are on the ground, his legs are tucked by his ass, hard cock dripping and on display.

And he can tell Jimin loves it. He runs his hands over Namjoon’s inner thighs before he takes his cock, stroking slowly. Namjoon shyly stares at Jimin’s own crotch, still clothed.

“Think you can handle this?” Jimin asks, reaching into his jacket pocket. Namjoon’s not even surprised when he pulls out a bottle of lube.

“Of course,” Namjoon mumbles.

“I mean the position, babe,” Jimin titters. Namjoon leans back onto his hands a bit more. He’s strong, despite his soft exterior. He nods.

“Good boy,” Jimin hums. He takes one of Namjoon’s feet, gently guiding it off the bike and into the air. Namjoon bites his lip, the cold breeze heightening his vulnerability.

Jimin kisses at Namjoon’s shin, undoing his own pants. Namjoon zeros in on the senses. Wet lips and gentle fingers, the sound of his zipper and the shuffle of fabric as he pulls out his cock, the scent of poplar and oak.

“You good?” Jimin asks. His voice is close. Namjoon didn’t realize he’s closed his eyes. Jimin’s eyes bore into his own, concern filtering through his pupils. Namjoon melts. It’s a look he’s only ever seen for him, and no one else.

He nods. “Please.”

Begging. He always gets here. Always more desperate for it. Always begging for Jimin’s cock. And Jimin always sits there like he does now, lathering lube over his cock, teasing fingers doing the same to Joon’s rim. No rush.

“I’m going to take your other leg now,” Jimin says. Namjoon opens his eyes again. Jimin has both his legs in either hand. He’s dressed beside his fat cock protruding from his leather pants. He’s a sinful mess, coming closer and stretching Joon’s legs higher until the head of his cock meets his rim.

“You ready?” Jimin asks.

“Mini,” Namjoon groans. Such a fucking tease.

It stings. The push, Jimin entering him slowly without any stretching. Namjoon loves it. Loves how his body accepts Jimin so easily, how Jimin could just take him, take and take like he does in the streets, but always treats Namjoon with such tenderness. At least, in the beginning.

As he bottoms out, the stretch in his thighs has Namjoon’s eyes stinging. Jimin’s head tucks into his collarbone, trying to hide his haggard breathing.

“Fuck, it’s so hot how you just fucking take it,” Jimin rasps, rolling his hips. Namjoon can’t talk, just digs his fingers into the rubber handles. “Fucking ruin me.”

Namjoon sighs. He loves the power. Jimin takes care of him constantly, but in these moments, Namjoon relishes the power he has over him. Jimin starts to pump and pick up pace and has Namjoon whimpering as the bike shifts beneath him. Once they start, Namjoon’s in control. He has the power to ruin Jimin. Every moan has Jimin answering back, each squeeze of his muscles makes Jimin’s hips stutter. When Namjoon begs for his mouth, Jimin’s kisses are sloppy and needy.

“God, love your skin,” Jimin croons, sucking at Namjoon’s neck. He tosses Namjoon’s legs onto his shoulders so his hands can wander over his tan skin, taking fistfuls of his ass and tweaking his nipples. Namjoon’s hard cock bounces between their bodies. Jimin takes notice, giving his hands a better task. His lube soaked fingers tug at Namjoon’s length, fisting him in time with his thrusts.

“Mini,” Namjoon whimpers, no other words coming to mind. Nothing’s in his mind besides his boyfriend completely consuming him. The metal of the bike bites into his ass as Jimin sinks his teeth into his neck. His arms stretch from the angle on the bike while his thighs flex on Jimin’s shoulders. It’s so much, so good, accompanied by the breeze and the setting sun, and Namjoon can’t handle it. The beauty of it, the perfectness, the contrast.

When Jimin finds his mouth again, soft lips and wet tongue meeting Namjoon’s, he cums. Jimin’s hips stutter, hand momentarily pausing before he makes sure he works Namjoon through it. He takes care of him every time, before he breaks free, breathing heavy before he leans back and pumps hard. His eyebrows furrow, mouth forming a perfect oh as the softest grunts catch in his throat. His nails dig into Namjoon’s thighs, but the pain means nothing as Namjoon watches Jimin’s euphoria chisel into his features.

As he comes down, he collapses forward onto Namjoon. Namjoon’s legs drop to the seat behind him. It’s uncomfortable, the headlight of the bike digging between his shoulders, but he won’t move. Jimin’s tousle of pink hair fans over his chest as his boyfriend catches his breath. Namjoon takes his chance to finally touch Jimin. He runs his hands through the damp hair, over his shoulders, under his chin.

“That was such a quad workout,” Jimin chuckles.

Namjoon chuckles back, both of them rumbling with it.

Jimin perks up, tucking his chin on Namjoon’s chest. “I didn’t know you were an exhibitionist.”

Namjoon strokes his cheek, a blushing pink. Namjoon still can’t believe he’s his. “I’d be anything for you.”

Jimin’s smile falters for a second. The sly look in his eyes flickers with something warmer, something vulnerable.

But then as always, he’s giggling. He shakes his head, sitting up to get off the bike so Joon can sit up, too. “You’re such a romantic.”

Namjoon wants to press it. Press the fact that Jimin slips up sometimes. Namjoon can see it. His calm and cool exterior breaks every now and then around Namjoon. But he doesn’t. He takes his glasses out of his pockets and puts them on. He picks up his pants and pulls them back up, yelping when Jimin gives him one last swat to the ass.

“Why the glasses?” Jimin teases booping Namjoon’s nose.

“There’s no way I’m driving back after that,” Namjoon mumbles, scuffing the dirt.

Jimin laughs, falling into Namjoon’s arms. “Okay, okay.”

To Namjoon’s horror (but no longer surprised), Jimin heads straight home, not even passing the dealership. What Jimin wants, Jimin takes. And Namjoon’s so glad Jimin chose to take him.

Imma craft this into a nice big oneshot soon, so look forward to it!

#minimoni #namjoon x jimin #namjoon smut #jimin smut #hyunglinenetwork #thekimlinenet #bangtanhq #ficswithluv #namjoon #jimin #piece of peace #kitty gang #namjoonie #kitty gang jimin #mxm #fwlbingo

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bike-safety · 5 months

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Gear Up Right: Your Guide to Finding the Perfect Motorcycle Suit Fit

Selecting the right motorcycle suit isn't just about style; it's about comfort, safety, and functionality. Here's your comprehensive guide to choosing a motorcycle suit that fits like a second skin, ensuring a smooth and secure ride every time.

Understanding Your Riding Style: Determine your primary riding style—commuting, touring, sport, or track. Different styles demand varying features like ventilation, flexibility, or aerodynamics.

Material Matters: Leather suits offer superior abrasion resistance, while textile suits are lighter and more adaptable to changing weather conditions. Choose based on your riding needs and climate.

Focus on Protection: Look for CE-rated armor at impact areas like shoulders, elbows, knees, and back. Ensure it fits snugly and doesn't shift during movement.

Getting the Right Size: Measure yourself accurately or get professionally measured. Pay attention to size charts provided by manufacturers, as sizing can vary between brands.

The Fit Test: A motorcycle suit should fit snugly but not restrict movement. Check for mobility in riding positions—sit, crouch, and reach as if you're on the bike to ensure comfort and flexibility.

Length and Proportions: Sleeves and pant legs should cover your wrists and ankles without riding up. Check for adequate coverage in the riding position to prevent exposed skin.

Adjustability: Look for suits with adjustable straps or Velcro closures at the waist, cuffs, and ankles to fine-tune the fit for your body shape.

Try Before You Buy: If possible, try on different brands and models. Comfort and fit can vary greatly between designs, and personal preference plays a big role.

Consider Layers: Think about the clothing you'll wear underneath the suit. It should comfortably accommodate base layers without feeling too tight.

Rider Feedback: Read reviews or seek advice from experienced riders. Their insights into fit, comfort, and durability can be invaluable in making your decision.

Remember, the right motorcycle suit isn't just about looks; it's about ensuring your safety and comfort on every ride. Take your time, do your research, and prioritize finding a suit that fits well, allowing you to focus on the thrill of the ride while staying protected.

#Motorcycle Suits #Best Motorcycle Suits

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allaboutglamour · 5 months

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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Harley Davidson Motorcycles Womens Deluxe Black Leather Chaps Riding Pants 2006.

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 3 years

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Locked Down

Oh joy. We’ve finally reached that time where movies starring Covid-19 are beginning to trickle out into the world. This romantic dramedy/heist movie stars Anne Hathaway and Chiwetel Ejiofor as Linda and Paxton, a couple who have broken up but are forced to remain flatmates in London during the initial lockdown in March 2020. If that sounds like studio execs just throwing ideas at a dartboard that says COVID on it in big letters, well. That’s what it sounds like. So how is the execution for a movie like this, that went from idea to release in less than 7 months? Well...

Did you read that last sentence there? Yeah, it’s about what you’d expect. I didn’t hate it, I didn’t love it, and I would be really interested to see it again long, long after this pandemic is behind us as a sort of time capsule. From the writer of that terrible Matthew McConaughey movie Serenity, I’m not sure we could expect much more.

Some thoughts:

PROMINENT HEDGEHOG ALERT. One of the benefits of our London setting. What a fantastic way to start the movie. [ETA: Fun fact, when you go on IMDB, the hedgehog is first billed, and is played by a hedgie named Sonic!]

I’m always here for a Dulé Hill cameo, but what is this throwaway lesbian subplot with Linda and Dulé Hill’s wife? I can’t tell if it’s meant to be some sort of gimmick or it’s meant to add emotional heft to Linda’s ennui, but I kind of hate that it’s mentioned that these women spent a night together and it barely comes up again. Why include it if it doesn’t mean anything? I’m all for normalizing wlw relationships, but is this the way to do that, by being like “oh yeah we spent an amazing night together (when we were both with other people) but ummmm bygones”??

The camera work is very weird and off kilter, but given the film’s depiction of lockdown, it fits with the strange and off kilter way that lockdown feels. I wish it felt less intrusive, but I probably should expect it from Doug Liman, the director of The Bourne Identity, which has this same shaky camera, voyeuristic, spyglass feel. I was much more annoyed with it at the beginning than by the end, so I suppose I got used to it, but I didn’t love it.

I’m enjoying Malcolm (Ben Kingsley) as an aggressively devout Christian and East End boss of a truck driving company who is Paxton’s boss. Huge props to Ben Kingsley for finding this niche of weirdo working class guy just trying to make it through the day, and leaning the fuck into it in the later years of his career. I’m obsessed with it.

So I think the thing that is bothering me about this movie is that it’s very talky. It feels like a play in many ways, partially because of the singular location with them both stuck in the apartment. But unlike a play where a heightened kind of dialogue and interiority of character makes sense and feels authentic, this feels....not that.

Absolutely love all of Anne Hathaway’s wardrobe for her work calls. I even like her cozy clothes, these cactus pajama pants are delightful. If the script isn’t pulling its weight, at least the wardrobe department is.

Steven Merchant and Mindy Kaling inject a much-needed boost of energy about halfway through the film. So far their scene is far and away the highlight. [ETA - this is a fucking heist movie, and this 1-minute scene was still the highlight. That’s messed up.]

Paxton and Linda sound like they were a hell of a good time when they were young. Hanging out in biker bars, being pagans, smoking heroin. Ok, maybe not that last thing, but the rest of it? Hell yeah, I wanna hang with them. Too bad they got boring as hell when they grew up.

At every turn, the writing grates on me more. It’s doing that thing where the couple who have been together for at least 3 years say each other’s name every other sentence, which I always find incredibly off-putting. Do you know how often I actually say my wife’s name when I’m talking TO her (not about her)? It’s about 4 times a year, when we’re in a store and I’m trying to get her attention and she doesn’t hear me say “babe.”

I admit, I am a sucker for a woman wearing all black riding a motorcycle. Anne Hathaway is good at making this A Look after this and Ocean’s 8.

Paxton taking a whole tray of macarons from Harrods is exactly what I would do when faced with choosing from the fanciest food court in the world. If I were committing a heist, it would not be for gold or jewels - it would be for macarons.

In terms of actual heisting, this heist movie is light. Barely 15 minutes of actual heist. FAR TOO LITTLE HEIST.

Did I Cry? Jesus, no.

The climax of the heist should make you want to hold your breath and bite your fingernails as you wait to see if the thieves can possibly get away with their big plan. This climax made me barely want to look up from a game of Candy Crush.

And the hedgehog fucking died. Offscreen, but still. Man, this movie was a disappointment in every way.

Overall, I just feel like everything about this could have been...better? Like, Anne Hathaway and Chiwatel Ejiofor are giving it their all, but it’s all so wordy and masturbatory, tbh. People don’t talk like this, even former pagans and poets trapped in a room together. 2020 made us all reevaluate things in our lives, but trying to make this weird solipsistic bubble compelling is, I think, the work of a stronger script than this one.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #locked down #locked down review #anna hathaway #chiwetel ejiofor #ben kingsley #dule hill #movie reviews #film reviews

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