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somekindofpoet · 1 year

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La Petite Mort - C'est Comme Ça

Summary: The repercussions of RJ's return hit hard

Word Count: 4.8K

Warnings: Language

A/N: This chapter is brought to you by boygenius, specifically Phoebe Bridgers because she has ruined me. You asked for angst. Remember YOU ASKED FOR THIS. There's a little TLOU2 easter egg in there for you fellow Ellie lovers. I have to say, I can't believe this story is the result of an ask about a girl getting head for the first time...writing is weird.

LPM - Part I LPM - Part II LPM Part IV LPM Part V LPM Part VI

The tension in the air is palpable. You can feel the moment strung taught, a high wire of social choreography forcing you to tiptoe carefully. Truth be told, it was your own fault. You were the one fucking RJs girlfriend. And you were the one flirting with Maxine. You’d made your bed, but you were determined not to sleep in it.

You motion to the hay bales behind Maxine, “Ma’am if you don’t mind?”

She turns, her eyebrows raising as she realizes she’s in your way, and slides over to the edge of the tailgate. Into the exact spot Lorraine had just vacated. The significance of the moment is not lost on you, but you brush it off and reach for the hay. You pull it down and lug it into the barn, breaking a sweat that has little to do with exertion. A wolf whistle rips out from behind you, and you drop the hay and turn to find the source. A man in aviators and a white cowboy hat is leaning against the truck next to Maxine, a toothpick rolling around his lips.

As you approach, he slides his sunglasses down his nose to look at you, “Howdy darlin,” he says, his voice thick with amusement.

You raise an eyebrow at him, reaching for the next bale, and nod in greeting. Something about him screams con artist, and you immediately decide you don’t like him. Maxine giggles and pulls at his shirt sleeve, swinging her legs. You’re acutely aware of Lorraine in your peripheral, glancing over at the interaction as RJ talks at her, his hands waving around excitedly.

The con man pulls the toothpick from his mouth and clears his throat, “Names Wayne,” he says, his unnaturally white teeth gleaming in the sun, “You ever thought about bein in movies?”

You squint at him, your hands wrapped in the rope keeping the hay bound and shake your head, “No, actin ain’t exactly my strong suit.”

Maxine snickers, and a devilish grin spreads across Wayne’s face, “That’s okay. Actin is not high on the priority list for my movies.”

Your eyebrows fly up your face as you realize the implication. In all the fuss, you had forgotten the type of movie RJ had been filming with them. The realization comes with the knowledge of who Maxine must be, and suddenly her flirting makes sense. You’re flattered, really, at the proposition, but you’re also mortified.

An involuntary laugh slips out of you, bubbling up from your belly through your chest. You heave the hay off the truck and shake your head, “I respect what y’all do, but I’ll stick to what I got goin on, thank you.”

Wayne puts his hands up in surrender, “Alright, alright. I’d be a fool not to try though, especially since Maxine here has been eyein you. Jackson and Bobby-Lynne over there would probably agree that you’d be a welcome addition, but suit yourself,” he points to the two making out against the van.

You look in their direction and laugh again, seeing them dry humping each other, “I think they have their hands full as it is,” you say and turn toward the barn.

As you make your way back out, squinting in the sun, RJ’s raised voice catches your attention.

“I’ve been gone for a week Lorraine. You can’t spend one night with me?”

You note the change in his tone, dropping her nickname to say her full name in irritation. She mumbles something too quiet to hear, and seeing her cower in front of him makes your blood boil. She always made herself small for him, careful to stay out of the way and quiet. She was a quiet person by nature, but even more so in his presence. Watching her with him is like seeing your favorite flower wither, her beauty shriveling in his wake. You ball your fists and clench your jaw.

“Aaaah, you got a thing for brunettes, huh?” Wayne’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

You frown and shake your head, “What?”

He gestures toward Lorraine with his head, “I don’t blame ya, RJ caught a fish way too big for his reel there.”

You scowl at him, fighting the urge to knock his lights out. How dare he even look her way, much less speak about her. Your composure is rattled, and the conversation between RJ and Lorraine is growing more agitated by the minute. You turn back to them, ready to start a brawl, but you’re halted by a look from Lorraine. She looks at you out of the corner of her eye and shakes her head, asking you to stay out of it. You grit your teeth, feeling wild and out of control.

“Baby let’s go, I’m so tired of farms,” Maxine whines, blinking up at Wayne.

You feel like you’re an extra in a movie that’s in the wrong shot. Stranded between keeping up appearances and doing what you really want to do. Which is to sweep Lorraine off her feet and kick RJ in the teeth. Deep down, there’s resentment building toward her too, but you’re not ready to deal with it. The bed you were trying not to sleep in was pulling back its blankets, welcoming you to the mess you’d made.

When Maxine brushes past you to return to the van, she runs her fingers from your shoulder down your arm and winks at you, blowing you a kiss as she walks backward. You make eye contact with Lorraine, and it’s like the whole scene blurs around you. The pornstars chattering in the background, RJ having his meltdown to the side, and the two of you, front and center. An unspoken moment passes between you, and you can feel the delicate balance shatter around you. It hurts you more than you have words to describe. If that moment hurts, it has nothing on what you feel when she turns around and climbs into the van with RJ.

——

One of your favorite things about Mr. Day is his ability to work in comfortable silence. He doesn’t press you for small talk or waste time preaching to you. He’s a quiet, peaceful man, and you can see Lorraine’s got it honest. When he does speak, he says what he means, and that’s that.

The two of you had saddled up and ridden over an hour to his back pasture to repair the fencing that had been neglected over the season. There were several feet of fence that needed replacing, and it was laborious work. The two of you drudged along with the chore in silence, occasionally grunting or grumbling when the wires pierced through your gloves and cut your skin. It came as a shock to you when he left his post and came over to yours, leaning against the wood, clearly wanting to talk.

You wipe your cheek with the back of your glove, pushing your hat back off your brow, and squint at him, “How you doin sir, comin along alright down there?”

He sighs, his black and silver mustache rustling with his breath, “I’m gettin too old for this mess y/n.”

You chuckle, “That’s what you have me for. I can finish this up if you want to head in.”

“What do you think of that boy, RJ?”

You jerk your head back, the wire in your hand sinking into the skin of your palm, making you wince. You gulp, unsure of how to answer.

“How do you mean?” You ask, willing your voice not to waver.

He tilts his head at you, his expression so shockingly similar to one Lorraine would make it nearly knocks the wind out of you.

“I mean, what do you think of him?”

He doesn’t give you any further context, his tone is neutral and steady.

“I think,” you pause a moment, “I think he’s fine.”

Mr. Day watches you for a moment, clearly evaluating you. “Try that again, and be honest.”

You set your pliers down on the fence post and pull your gloves off, your palm stinging from the fresh cut there. This man has known you since you were a child, and you should have known better than to try to sugarcoat your opinion in front of him.

“I think he’s a pretentious asshole. If you’ll pardon my French.”

When he smiles at you, Lorraine is there again, in the crinkle of his dark eyes and the curve of his mustache hidden mouth.

“That’s more like it.”

He pushes off the fence and hobbles over to his horse, pulling two warm PBRs from his saddle bag. He hands you one as he leans back up against the fence and cracks his open, gulping it and eyeing you. You open yours and swig, relaxing your posture and turning to lean back with him. His presence is calming, and you feel grounded for the first time since you’d seen the van pull into the ranch driveway.

“I just don’t know what she sees in him,” you tell him, your honesty shocking you.

He takes another drink, “I was hoping you’d tell me. Seems like you know Raine better than most, I’d say.”

The knowledge that he’d almost caught you having sex with his daughter several times now makes you hesitant to reply. You can’t know if he knows, but from his tone and the way he’s eyeing you, you’re beginning to think he does. It’s surprising to you that he doesn’t seem to be upset about it if he does know. You proceed under the assumption that he is ignorant of your situation, thinking it the safer option.

“I couldn’t tell you. Guess you could ask her.”

He grunts, “I could, but Mrs. Day would have my head. She says I ought to leave Raine be. She’s an adult and all.”

You hum, drink your beer. He grunts and drinks his. You both stare off into the distance, watching the high grass rustle in the gentle afternoon breeze. You find your mind wandering, thinking about where Lorraine might be now and what she’s doing. You wonder if RJ ever takes her out for ice cream and if he notices the way she closes her eyes when she eats it, or how she taps her fingers against the cone in quiet excitement. The thought makes you feel sick, leading from the ice cream to what they’d do in private. His hands where yours had been, unaware of the now faded marks you’d left there.

You chug the can and crush it, forgetting you were with company. You’re not lucky enough to have escaped his notice, and he watches you with careful eyes. You’re flooded with shame at your own anger and the sadness that weighs in your bones. You had no right to be upset, but that didn’t make the sting any less painful.

Mr. Day sighs, the lines on his face almost sorrowful as he watches you, “Love is a pretty strange thing. Wilder than a feral mustang, and even harder to control.”

You don’t answer, his words settling over you. You think he must be referring to his daughter, but you get the tiniest notion that he’s not talking about her and RJ anymore. Unwilling to open Pandora’s box, you nod silently and pull your gloves back on, dropping the crushed can at your feet and returning to your work. He thumps you on the back affectionately and finishes his beer.

“Well, would you look at that,” Mr. Day grumbles, “Speak of the devil, and she shall appear.”

You frown in confusion, still twisting the wire around the post. You clip the end and turn, following his gaze to a dirt cloud in the distance. The Day’s truck is rambling down the dirt cut toward you, kicking up dust behind it. It must be Lorraine because in all the years you’d worked for them, Mrs. Day had never graced you with her presence further than her backyard. Your stomach flips in excitement, and it makes you roll your eyes at yourself. Even in the depths of heartbreak, your body still reacted to the mere idea of her being near. Another beer is pushed into your hands, and you take it eagerly, knowing you’d need it to keep your cool as the truck nears and you see RJ in the passenger seat.

You exchange a look with Mr. Day and pop the can open. Lorraine parks the truck and slides out, shooting you a shy smile.

She beams at Mr. Day, “Hey Daddy! Momma told me to come out here and pick you up.”

He grunts, but you can see the smile behind his mustache, “She gonna come out here and patch this fence then?”

“I can help!” RJ chirps, rounding the truck, a small camera in his hand.

It’s quiet for a moment as the three of you stare at him in disbelief. You look at his soft hands and smirk, knowing full well, he was incapable of doing manual labor. You don’t miss the chastising look Lorraine shoots you.

“You gonna do that with a camera in your hand?” Mr. Day asks him, not unkindly, but his tone isn’t warm either.

RJs steps stutter as he looks down at the camera. He appears to be afraid to part with it and hangs it around his neck with the lanyard. He puts his hands up to show they’re free and smiles. Your lip curls involuntarily, his mere presence putting you in a bad mood. You decide it’s best to keep your mouth shut because if you speak, you’re going to say something that will upset Lorraine. Instead, you take a few healthy gulps of your beer, the warm liquid fizzling in your stomach and calming you.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea RJ,” Lorraine says, “Mending fence ain’t easy.”

He scoffs, his spine straightening. He may as well beat on his chest with machismo. He looks so self-assured. “I can do it Lorraine.”

Lorraine shrinks, nodding. She avoids your pointed gaze, keeping her eyes trained on her shoes. You tilt your head, feeling surly knowing you can’t do anything to help her without making the situation worse. Then an idea springs forth in your mind, making you smirk. You pull your gloves off, leveling RJ with a challenging stare.

“Here you go RJ, take my spot. I need a break anyway.” You hold the gloves and pliers out to him, daring him to refuse.

You can see the indecision warring in his eyes, not expecting you to call his apparent bluff. You shake the gloves at him with impatience. If he wants a masculine display, you’re going to allow him to try. Lorraine raises an eyebrow at you, warning you to tread lightly. You find that you no longer care if you upset her at the moment. You flash her a brilliant smile as RJ takes the tools from your hands.

Mr. Day nods and finishes off his beer, “Come here then boy, let me show you how to tie the lines.”

You lean your back against the grill of the truck and cross your feet, sipping your warm beer and waiting for the inevitable. Lorraine slides over next to you, her arm brushing yours. You try to ignore the way it makes your stomach cartwheel. As upset as you were with her, something in you enjoys the sensation of your forbidden, secret intimacy.

She leans her head toward you, whispering, “You know this is not gonna end well y/n.”

You snort, tip the beer can to your lips, “Whatever makes you say that, Lorraine?”

She turns her head up to stare daggers at you, but you keep your eyes trained on RJ and Mr. Day. She doesn’t push the conversation and looks toward the fence again.

It takes all of five minutes for RJ to hurt himself. You sneer, hearing him cry out over the wire in his palm. Mr. Day shakes his head at him and looks to his daughter for support. Lorraine pushes herself off the truck, quickly making her way to fuss over RJs bleeding palm.

He brushes her off, “Don’t touch it! I don’t need your help. Just get me a bandage.”

She jerks back, startled by his harsh tone. You step forward, ready to stand between them if he says anything else. Luckily her father takes the lead in handling the outburst.

“Young man, you’d do well not to speak to my daughter like that. Get in the truck, I’ll drive you back to the house for a band-aid.”

RJ glances back and forth between him and Lorraine, fear apparent on his face, “Oh no sir, Raine can drive me, can’t you baby?”

She opens her mouth to answer, but she’s interrupted by her dad, “I said get in the truck boy. Rainey, ride Shimmer back to the barn. Give her a good gallop before she sees it, though, don’t want her goin barn sour like old CB over here.”

“Hey!” You yelp, “My son is not barn sour!”

Mr. Day chuckles, “Kick him in gear then and see who gets back faster. You can finish the fence tomorrow.”

You narrow your eyes at him playfully, thinking he’s made this decision on purpose. He’s setting you up for an hour alone with Lorraine, and it’s transparent to you. The love you have for him grows even further in that moment.

The truck rolls out of sight while you finish packing up your tools, Lorraine adjusting her father's stirrups to fit her legs. You fill up your saddlebags and buckle them closed, patting CB on his rump affectionately. You turn your head to watch Lorraine, her hands on her hips, trying to work out how to climb on top of Shimmer without a step stool. You lean your shoulder against CB, crossing your arms, content to watch her struggle until she asks for help. Shimmer is at least three hands taller than Lorraine’s quarter horse, so she’s slightly out of her depth. You stifle your laughter as you watch her try to hike her leg high enough to get her toes in the stirrup and fail. She turns and glares at you, her pride too large to ask you for help yet.

After a few more minutes, you can’t take watching her struggle any longer. You saunter over to her and kneel down, silently offering your bent leg as a step stool. She huffs, hesitates a moment, and steps on you to swing her leg over Shimmer’s back.

“Thank you,” she grumbles, gathering the reins in her hand.

You tip your hat at her and stand, “My pleasure ma’am.”

She pulls the reins, so Shimmer turns and smacks you with her head, stomping in irritation at the command. You stumble backward, laughing, and jog back to CB, hopping up into your saddle with ease.

The ride back is anything but relaxing. Lorraine is quiet, introspective. You peek over at her every few minutes, trying to find a way to start the conversation you desperately need to have. A conversation a part of you does not want to have because it requires a terrifying amount of vulnerability.

“So,” you start, leaving the word hanging in hopes she picks up where you left off. She doesn’t.

“So, how…how was your night?” You don’t really want to know the answer to this question, the possibility of her giving you an answer that will gut you being very high.

She gives you an impassive glance, “Just ask me what you want to ask me.”

You screw your face up, the accusation hurting your feelings, “I asked you what I wanted to ask you.”

“No, you didn’t.” She turns her head to watch you, her body gently rocking with Shimmer’s slow steps.

You clench your jaw and purse your lips, “Did you…did you-“

“No,” she interrupts, relieving you of asking the question that was making you feel like you were sinking.

You visibly relax, and you see her smile from the corner of your eye. “Did he-“

“Now that is none of your business,” she stops you.

You frown, then let it slide from your face when you realize you’re being petulant. Just take the win that she did not have sex with him yet. Yet. The word weighs heavy on you.

“What does this mean,” you ask quietly, looking down at your hands, “for us?”

She sighs, “I don’t know yet.”

There it is again. Yet.

You nod in acceptance and keep your eyes trained on the horizon.

——

You decide to camp by the pond for the night. You didn’t want to feel trapped in your apartment. The walls and ceilings would make you feel caged. You ride CB out to the clearing and pull his saddle and blankets off his back when you get there, letting him roam freely. He never goes too far and knows to come to you if you call. A small campfire burns in a dirt patch, your sleeping bag rolled out next to it.

You settle in and lay on your back, your hands under your head, and get lost in the stars. As much as you’d like to not think of Lorraine, your brain just can’t seem to help itself. It was a small comfort to know she hadn’t slept with RJ the night prior, but every passing day meant you were inevitably closer to the moment when it would happen. You’re unsure of how you should feel about it, but you know that it makes you sick to your stomach. How you’re going to manage this is beyond you. Would she leave him? For you? You snort a cold laugh through your nose, knowing that situation was impossible. You had nothing to offer her that RJ didn’t have. In fact, his being a man made Lorraine’s life easier; being with you would mean a lifelong struggle against adversity. You want to want a simple life for her. You want to want for her to be happy with him. But you don’t. What you really want is simple. You want her.

Trees rustling off to your side draw your attention away from your thoughts, and you sit up on your elbows. Your shotgun is at your side, and you eye it warily. Branches snapping and bushes being pushed aside gain CB’s attention as well. He picks his head up and stares into the brush with you. Your body grows tenser the closer the sound comes, and your fingers inch toward the gun.

Lorraine bursts through the trees on her little quarter horse Pearl, her white coat shining in the moonlight. You breathe a sigh of relief, and CB drops his head back down to chomp at the grass when he realizes it’s his barn companion. She doesn’t remove Pearl’s saddle when she climbs down, telling you she doesn’t intend to stay. She walks around the fire, and you move off your sleeping bag into the grass. You gesture at it, telling her to sit on the fabric.

“Hey,” she says as she drops down next to you.

“Hey.”

“I thought I’d find you out here. CB’s stall was empty.”

“Yeah, I figured we could use some fresh air for the night.”

She nods thoughtfully and reaches her hand out to rest on your leg. You look down at her fingers and fight the urge to lean into her. Your spine goes stiff with the effort of it, and she notices. Her teeth worry at her bottom lip, and her eyes wander everywhere but on you. She’s here for a reason, so you decide to wait for her to tell you what it is. Even if it’s not something you’re prepared to hear.

“So. You like Maxine?” She says, moving her hand from your leg to pull up blades of grass from the dirt.

You laugh, your expression appalled, “What?”

“I saw how you looked at her. Kissed her hand.”

You shrug, feeling guilty, “I don’t like Maxine.”

“Why not?”

Irritation flares up in you, simmering in your veins. How could she ask that? As if she doesn’t know that you don’t like Maxine because you only have eyes for her now. You hold your tongue, not wanting to lash out at her.

“Come on Raine. You know why.”

She turns her head away from you as if that was the last thing she’d wanted to hear. You’re sure it complicates things, having her know you wouldn’t move on so easily.

“RJ is a good man.” Is all she says back, and it stings.

Your anger is building now, becoming unmanageable. “He’s not good to you. He’s a self-righteous prick Lorraine.”

She tips her head back, blinking quickly, “That’s not fair. You don’t know him.”

“I know him well enough.”

“Maybe he’s what I deserve.”

The words hang in the air, and to you, they look a lot like a noose. A hangman’s collar for the relationship built between the two of you.

“You deserve more than him.”

You can see her jaw clench; she’s becoming irritated with you now. “Tell me what I deserve that he doesn’t give me?” Her voice shakes, tears brimming in her eyes when she looks at you.

“Love,” you say gently, “The ability to know you better than he knows himself. Taking the time to learn that you like the smell of jasmine more than roses, that you’re adventurous and kind, that once you gave that homeless woman in Austin your shoes because she didn’t have any.”

She lays down on her back, her hands at her side. She’s silent for a long time, longer than you’d like, but you let it settle over you.

“You never asked me what my dream was about. From the other night.”

You turn your head to look at her, and her expression is so soft, her smile weak, and her eyes watery. It’s like a javelin to the gut.

“I just assumed it was something to do with what we’d done the day prior.”

She sighs, turns her head back toward the stars, “No. No, it wasn’t that, I have real life for that.”

You roll toward her and prop your head up on your hand, “Well, what then? You said you dreamt about me.”

“I did. You were little again, five, maybe six. Like the day we first met. Overalls and pigtails and everything.”

You chuckle in spite of the growing despair crushing your chest, “You remember that?”

She scoffs, “Course I do. You shoved that boy Rance into the sandbox and kicked dirt in his eyes.”

“He called your freckles ugly. He deserved it, I’d do it again.”

She laughs, the sound tinkling from her lips and wrapping itself around you like a snake made of nostalgic joy.

“I remember that too.” She turns her head and looks up at your face, “That was the day I told my Momma I loved you.”

A genuine chuckle escapes you, and you fight the urge to reach for her, “What did she say to that?”

“The same thing she told me today.”

Your eyebrows lift in surprise, “You told your momma you loved me today?”

She nods, blinks a tear from between her lashes. Your hand slides over the grass toward her, but stops just inches from her elbow.

“What did she say?”

“She said Atlantas was beautiful, and now it’s gone because they built on unstable foundation.”

You blink, taken aback, “What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” she sighs.

You’re struck with the idea that she does know, but she’s afraid to say. The look in her eyes is so mournful, you feel like you know too. You swallow hard, your throat constricting painfully.

“What happened in your dream?” Your voice cracks, betraying your calm exterior.

She closes her eyes and smiles, “You offered me a candy from your pocket. It was covered in sand, but you were very proud of it.”

You lie back, turning toward the sky again, staying silent.

She continues, “When I took it from you, you grew up, and we were on the ranch. You climbed up on CB’s back, looked at me, and said, ‘I was looking for you,’ and then you turned and rode off into the sunset. I stood there and watched you until I woke up.”

You nod, the grass rustling under your head, “Well, your dreams got that part right. I’m always looking for you.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, and her hands press into her stomach. When she opens them, tears brim at the lids but don’t fall.

She sighs and sits up, looks down at you.

“I better get back.” She pushes herself to her feet, and you don’t watch her go as she leaves you there.

#lorraine day x reader #lorraine day #lpm #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x y/n

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barbatusart · 3 months

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a few more funny one / yuusuke murata moments between my preliminaries & @meanbossart's stunning finals from our SAD SACK series (2019-2020). i think the best part of working together, for me anyway, was getting to learn firsthand about stronger composition and anatomy, & getting to firsthand witness RJ's anatomical prowess and gorgeous blackout shading as it all came together. i learned shitloads from him especially the longer we worked on this - im very comfortable being a sketch-only artist ie an artist with a skill ceiling, but it was So much fun to challenge myself to improve laterally (if that makes sense lol) based on the example of the brilliant teacher afforded to me through collaboration like this

also these are all funny but that first set is the most outrageous glowup of all LMAO i was drawing that character as a thumb with teeth and a wig on for Ages

#sad sack #gore w

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thegratefulsouth · 24 days

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Alright I have just finished Season 1 of TWD DD and I have thoughts and questions and feelings. And energy!

I am very new to this fandom, and while I've done some searches in places, I'll still just apologise in advance for being repetitive and missing stuff. I will miss stuff every time.

I'll get Laurent out of the way, and even though it's all connected for me, the rest is Caryl.

#1 So Laurent. I have questions about his ability to see into the future. He was convinced Daryl would survive the Gladiator battle, he knew they'd all end up back together. Is this a real thing? Is it coincidence in faith? The drawing I don't care about, I'm not sure how involved he is with the manipulations, but he should definitely be able to feel that this is happening with Isabelle, given his empathic nature. So in that case, does he sense there is a reason to go along with her ways, for a future purpose we don't know about yet.

The empathic thing:

Episode 1, he says to Daryl "You're homesick. I see it in your eyes. I feel things. In my stomach. I feel your sadness." Episode 5, he tells Madame Genet that she isn't angry; her heart is broken.

He can distinguish sadness between heartbreak and homesickness- these are very specific feelings. Are there more examples? Not sure when I'll be able to watch it back. Is this significant? Is there a point to this? Is he going to make the match? Is he going to be overwhelmed by Carol's grief and guilt, though hopefully she'll just be happy and relieved when he meets her (hopefully!!).

"Daryl why don't you just kiss Carol like she wants you to?"

What are the rules around this? I don't know how it works.

#2 Second up! The boats. Is there any evidence that any of the boats have any significance? I know they probably just make sense with the location and the storyline, etc. But when Laurent cuts the boat loose, Daryl is losing his most immediate TANGIBLE lifeline to Carol and that is because a BOAT has drifted. A boat.

Okay, and also, I was thinking about this on my long drive to work this morning and I swear to the husks of dust on my Jim Shore Dorothy and Glinda figurine, Spotify threw THIS song I've never heard before at me. Yes, PIRATE song. Pirate song by mehro. But dear god the lyrics.

"Are you ready to let me in?"

"I've been trying to believe what I said is what I need."

This is such a haunting, beautiful song. I'm so thrilled to discover this artist. I'm not immune to dissolving into a puddle on the side of the road when I hear a new song that spins me out. I feel things so intensely. I'm going to do a post just for this song. This song is Caryl to me.

#3 Daryl's longing for Carol in a ramble:

I like the connection between Daryl saying "I have family back home," and Carol in the teaser clip saying Daryl is the only family she has left. It feels like a string, tying them together. Feels like they're on the same damn boat. Emotionally.

I just want to touch on the name dropping Who Are Your Friends scene with Laurent. Even though I have no idea whether this scene is supposed to have any significance or if it's just supposed to be a simple moment of connection for these two. Regardless, it is significant. Every second beyond about a week just is. So to touch on Laurent again, I'm just wondering is it possible that Daryl's a little guarded here, because he knows the kid's intuitive? Does he feel like he needs to be more careful with his emotions? He's already elevated. But he says Connie's name really easily. It's easy for him to say her name and I think that says a lot. He's trying to connect with the kid, so of course Judith and RJ pop up. Daryl got himself started, and there's a very slight gap, while he's thinking before he offers up Ezekiel. That's where he should say Rosita but she's gone, or Aaron (but too much missage? Their bond), Michonne's not there! Oh, Ezekiel! They were starting to get along? They had a hug and everything? I don't know. I like the link between Connie and Ezekiel though. Anyway Daryl has to say Carol because she is his heartbeat, so he manages to get that out and then he stops. No more names.

Laurent says they sound nice and is Daryl's response a little defensive? Even though Laurent's just a kid, he's a little intense. Daryl says, "Yeah, how do you know?"

I think that's interesting. Like he's shared as much as he's comfortable sharing and then he wants to bundle his family back up again. It's painful to talk about Carol because he misses her and he promised her and she cried when he left and she is his soulmate. She's a little too precious and valuable to be spoken about by someone who hasn't even met her.

Alrighty now I need to go find some gifs for that song post.

#caryl #caryl is endgame #caryl positivity

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cheolhub · 11 months

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It's award season (unconfirmed)! Give some of your mutuals silly little awards.

OHAMSHAHGE OMG HOW EXCITING

award for being the most beautiful and talented person ive ever had the pleasure of knowing goes to🥇 @ncteez !!! HON, my lover, my wife, you are my favorite writer and artist and overall person, i love you so so so much. you’re also always taking care of me and it makes me want to get on a plane and give u a big smooch 🙈 miss u dearly, please come home to me soon </3

BEST YANDERE GOES TO @jeonghantis BRHSH im kidding dbbs. keir, there’s never a dull moment w you, so you get bestest friend award because there is no one who puts up with my annoying ass the way you do. you read over my shit, you laugh at my corny jokes, you let me be h word with u and best of all, u let me read ur heaven-sent work before anyone else — U ARE SO AMAZING I LOVE U SO MUCH

fastest writer goes to @toruro… im so envious of you actually 😭 you write so much and it’s all good content like you’re crazy (in a good way ofc) but i love u and ur work and ur so wonderful to me.

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast gets the award for being the biggest supporter!! RJ I SERIOUSLY ALWAYS LOOM FORWARD TO UR REBLOGS. i love you, thank u for always reblogging my fics with 30 funny ass reaction photos and for making me feel like im a good writer 🥹

kai (@lovelyhan) gets the sweetest person award but also the “im really jealous of u bc all ur works are toe-curling and you make me really nervous” award. i dont think i need to explain, the award says it all 🙊

@baeksbyunny BIGGEST BAEKHYUN/TAEIL/HAECHAN LOVER AWARD AND ALSO THE AWARD FOR BEING THE FRIENDLIEST AND LOVELIEST PERSON TO EVER EXIST. bex, seriously, i feel so taken care of every time we talk and i love u

@agustdiv1ne TWIN AWARD!!! we are literally clone copies of each other, i feel. we are both 5’5, both like choi san & p1h, and we are both obsessed with bf!yeonjun. I WANT TO TALK TO U MOREEEEE, if u have discord, add me 🤬 ill finally be able to send u my txt vids

@majestyjun BEST TXT BLOG THAT THIS APP HAS EVER SEEN GOES TO MILLS. my txt bias is actually millie, i have no idea who soobin is. no but seriously everything u write is so vsgwvevwhw i love it, i love ur blog 🫡

@rubyreduji gets the i wanna be ur friend award bc i always see ur posts on my dash and i wanna interact but i have crippling anxiety and literally dont know how to talk to people first 🤣

@hyuk4ngel gets the best ideas award… u know why… ur brain is massive and all my gyu fics are bc of u. ILY THANK U

@honeyhypen SWEETEST ANGEL BABY AWARD. MY LOVE, HONEY, u are everything to me. i am actually so happy i found you bc u are literally are like a breath of fresh air to me, idk what it is.

@heesbaby BEST SMAU’s AWARD BC OMG?! i usually dont read them but urs?! URS….. omg anyway also love of my life award. like seriously i love u. i wanna talk to u more so bad burgwgwgev i get nervous >< im getting back into enha tho and have no one to talk to abt it ….. so 🙊

#seriously every single one of my moots deserves a moot #an award *#im so sorry idk why my brain isnt workinghshebe #ANYWAY I MIGHT DO ANOTHER ONE LATER WITH MORE MOOTS BC I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM #[💌: anon]

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lenteur · 6 months

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random thoughts about castaway diva, episode three

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

i'm glad we're getting to see more moments of mok ha during her time on the deserted island.

I'm also glad we're seeing so many parallels between her and yoon ran joo and i really hope the show will develop the relationship between the two women because the story is very interesting.

I'm just speechless because both women have so much in common but they don't know it yet. They're both born in the same island, they have a passion for singing, they went through the same hurdles at the same time. It's details like these that make their bond so special.

The su*c*dal ideation for both mok ha and ran joo is understandable. Mok ha has spent a long time alone on that deserted island that she lost hope of someone finding her. She figured no one would miss her/no one thinks she's alive after all that time. It's not easy being alone for more than a decade with no one to talk to. For the latter (ran joo), I think her dark thoughts occurred when the public turned on her because of her attitude. The only thing that made her happy (singing) was no longer an option because no one wanted to listen to her. Or maybe it's because of the band-aid on her neck? I don't know what it is but it could be the cause of her distress and less than happy thoughts?

I see ran joo's ex manager turned into her new CEO profited from her to become some hotshot in the entertainment industry. It seems he forgot about her and invested the money he promised to her on new and younger artists.

It's really telling how women are more affected by time in the entertainment industry. Once she became "too old" or "too diva-ish" (sorry for my lack of vocab), lee seo jun (finally found his name) along with the public diverted his time and attention to someone else. I'm saying the entertainment industry is more severe on women because only one little tiny mistake can make them fired/erased from public attention. For men, it seems the industry and public is lenient on them. This is only my opinion that I based on things I've seen in the music industry as a whole.

Lee seo jun compared the artist to flowers that wither with time. I think it's the perfect image to describe what I was trying to say earlier (cf. Previous point).

So yes, it is only natural for yoon ran joo to be sad because she can no longer do the thing she loves the most: singing.

The audacity to name the company RJ Entertainment and mistreat the artist who started it all!!! And to rename it RNJ so it won't be based on ran joo's name anymore. I'm seething. All men do is lie and cheat. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!! tomatoes tomatoes

Mok ha is so cute as a fangirl. Park eun bin really nailed that part lol.

I find it both sad and beautiful that the only person that seems to pay attention to/care about yoon ran joo is mok ha when lee seo jun should be the one to do so.

Woo hak insulting ki ho stating a literal teenager should be able to throw down a whole adult, an adult that is as tall as a fridge? He's lucky I wasn't right in front of him or else I would've slapped him so hard he would've landed on the moon. How can you blame a child for that?

So it's both the abandonment from her company and the vocal nodules that made ran joo spiral into alc*h*l and dark thoughts. This must have been painful to hold in for so long. And the fact that mok ha is the first person she told this to is another proof of how strong their bond is. It might not have been long but they both are each other's confidant/emtional support.

It seems that even ran joo disappointed mok ha by giving her false hope when dr*nk. Even then, mok ha is worried about her and wonders what she went through to change so much. Mok ha is the only one who hasn't changed that much after all that time. It's like time stopped for her while everyone else moved on and changed.

Just like ki ho said, mok ha liked ran joo because she lacked worries and gloominess. But now it's not the case so i'm wondering if mok ha will stop being a fangirl and see ran joo in another light.

Okay so bear with me while i try to write my thoughts. I just find seo mok ha empathetic to the point where she sometimes forgets herself. She's willing to protect ran joo and pretend she didn't hear her beg for an audition. She's going as far as giving her compliments that no one has told her (ran joo) in a very long time. I think this is both a strength and a weakness because I can predict some people will take advantage of that (and her credulity) to manipulate her. However, just like I mentioned before, Mok ha still hasn't changed at all and has kept her naivety. So yeah, I'm very interested to see how or if she will evolve in that sense.

I'm just saying that because mok ha was ready to throw hands when she understood how lee seo jun took advantage of ran joo, but it seems she puts others before her.

The man that took over the seafood restaurant is a betrayer. First he told ki ho's dad how he was working and earning money to save for the future. And now he's also telling the father that mok ha came to visit him. It's disgusting because he's trying to hide it behind a smile. He's on the father's side because ki ho never dared accuse his own father of ab*se. I mean when his own dad is a police officer, it's difficult to do so.

The truth bomb scene is exactly what i said previously. Women in the entertainment industry are aging way quicker than anyone else. The truth hurt mok ha and it's like she's submerged with it. She doesn't know what to do. Even then, she finds it in her heart to have empathy for ran joo. Mok ha is an incredible and strong woman.

I am so happy they developed the story around mok ha and ran joo. They're helping each other out and making the other realize things that they wouldn't be able to see otherwise.

I'm relieved someone opened ran joo's eyes about lee seo jun's goals. He wants to wait until the end of ran joo's contract just so she won't become the majority shareholder of the company. That's why he left her. He doesn't want her to sell 20 million albums. GOOD JOB MOK HA! GO KICK LEE SEO JUN'S ASS RAN JOO!!!

i'll give this episode a 9.5/10 as well

#well well well... if that isn't me writing a whole novel in this post #no wonder i have a hard time watching the next episode </3 #i don't have a lot of time on my hands and i end up exhausted whenever i finish writing my thoughts #this episode is promising #there are a lot of things i'm waiting for #anyway if you didn't know i'm a big fan of the show #random(al) thoughts #kdrama #castaway diva

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thosewildcharms · 2 months

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AMEN TO ALL YOUR RECAP FROM EPISODE 3. So so amazing. I cannot wait for the crying, yelling and makeup loving in episode 4. I just saw a theory that had me freaked out a little. Saying the phones don't add up and that Judith is more grown up in the sketches could mean he took helicopters and kept an eye on them over the years?? And that the reference to Carl was actually RJ and that is why he couldn't get it quite right? I doubt that though. He has no idea about RJ. Secrets coming out?? ARGHHH I need to know! What do you think? Also, do you think there will be another season? I need them :'(

thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I think we're all excited for episode lol this show has me wishing away my saturdays smh

well. personally I don't think you need to be freaked out by that theory because (respectfully) I don't think it makes any sense lol. I'm putting this under a read more because It's gonna get kinda long

I don't really see what doesn't add up about the sketches, honestly? because I think the simplest/most logical explanation is likely the accurate one. rick is (painfully) aware of how much time is passing, so every time he asked for a new sketch he'd say how old judith would be at that time and the artist would have adjusted her appearance accordingly. as for carl - I did see one person say they thought the "not getting it right" line implied that rick was starting to forget what carl looked like, because it's been a while now since he died. I think that's plausible, but personally I think part of it is that a parent who loses a child never really stops grieving, and no sketch can ever live up to the memory of that child no matter how objectively accurate it is. maybe it's a little of both? either way, I don't think it's supposed to be RJ.

I think we have to consider that while rick was never ever gonna stop trying to get home to see his family ("I'm getting home or I'm dying. That's it.") okafor played the ultimate and final trump card when he told rick his family would die if he ever escaped the CRM and went back home. as we saw in 1x01, that was it - the lights went out, and rick basically immediately became suicidal because he knew that he would never, ever put them at risk, so his only option was to die (again, "i'm getting home, or I'm dying") and short of actually killing himself he decided to metaphorically die instead.

all of this is to say that everything we've seen from rick on screen since the end of the first episode specifically shows us that he is resigned to never seeing his family again. for a brief moment when okafor died rick thought he maybe had a chance again, especially with michonne there, only for jadis to show up immediately to remind him that she has the SAME trump card as okafor only worse because she set it up so that if she dies his family will be killed anyway. and his only goal at this point is making sure michonne gets out. there's no indication that he has ever set eyes on any of them.

but even just logistically like. do we think the CRM is letting rick 'cut my own hand off trying to escape' grimes fly a helicopter unsupervised? do we think CRM security is so lax that he'd be able to steal one? if it was, wouldn't that be the first thing he did to try to escape, once he enlisted? ALSO the first thing rick did after he and michonne reunited was ask if judith was alive. why would he ask if he already knew? like, he's shown to be pretty decent at lying under pressure but why would he lie to michonne, at that moment? like, I'm sorry this just does not track as a theory to me lol

as for a season 2. well, season 1 is doing extremely well so far, so it wouldn't be a matter of the network not wanting more seasons. I do think an issue would be danai's availability because her schedule is insane. personally, I have my own feelings about whether or not I even want a season 2, but I guess we just have to see what happens!

I hope this answered your questions :)

@ricksmarlene

#ricksmarlene #answered #the ones who live

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bengiyo · 1 year

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My Tooth Your Love Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

Oh, Frigay, how you've given us so much to enjoy this month. I love ending my Frigay with My Tooth Your Love. It's really my favorite. I love the way we're showing a relationship between 30-somethings here. We should be picking up with Bai Qing confronting Xun'an.

Really love the opening shot with Bai Lang framed awkwardly between his sister and boyfriend. Way to bring us back in and let us know exactly what the current conflict is.

I think Bai Qing has a right to be concerned about her brother. In many ways she's a maternal figure to him, and Bai Lang has trapped himself in his trauma.

Yes, Renmin the hockey player is back to flirt with A. Love a man willing to clear his entire weekend to hang out with his crush.

I love the conversation in the drive to work about how even at 30 it feels different when you start doing first-time couple things with someone. But I want to reiterate not to kiss while driving. That seemed like a specific choice by Xun'an, considering Bai Lang has trauma around car violence.

Oh no they are almost sickeningly cute right now.

Realizing that RJ is artistically talented is giving me so many feelings of warmth and yearning for him. This is a diary, and seeing Alex recognize how much RJ liked him is giving me complicated feelings about their potential romantic future.

I'm excited to see where this consequences thing goes with these two.

I like this dynamic with Renmin and A. Renmin maybe tried too hard to force a romantic moment, and they had to talk it out and come to a compromise. Still, it's clear they want to try making this new thing between them work.

Is Ye Qiran trying to beef with Bai Lang?

It's really refreshing how much there isn't really a love triangle here. I like that the show knows the audience isn't invested in seeing someone complicate the romance as if they're a genuine threat.

I love the staff at the clinic. They are so loyal and invested in this romance.

I do feel for Ye Qiran. He missed his opportunity with Xun'an over a decade ago, and now he has to deal with losing him a second time because the hope is being squashed. The use of the piano scene exemplifies how good their dynamic was at the time. I hope Bai Lang is prepared to deal with Xun'an's family.

I kinda wished we'd lingered on Xun'an trying a bunch of foods he didn't like.

Alex being awake during that window cleaning scene adds another layer I wasn't expecting. I am so curious where this will go.

Welp, time for the drama next week.

#my tooth your love #taiwan bl #taiwanese bl #bl series #Ben watches

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hallmark-movie-fanatics · 2 years

Text

Here's when all 40 new Hallmark Christmas movies will premiere (from ew.com) — Part 2 (HM&M only)

We Need a Little Christmas

Premieres: Oct. 22, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Erica Durance, Patrick Sabongui, Lynn Whitfield

Contains: Multiple stars from the Arrowverse, widowed mother, older neighbor

Official description: "Julie is adjusting to being a single mother to a grieving child while facing her first Christmas without her husband when she develops an unexpected friendship with her older neighbor Irene."

Christmas Bedtime Stories

Premieres: Oct. 29, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Erin Cahill, Steve Lund, Charlie Weber

Contains: Missing military man, missing military man's wife trying to raise their daughter

Official description: "When Danielle's husband goes missing in action during his deployment, she is left to raise her daughter on her own. Three years later, as she acclimates to life without him, she begins to tell her daughter bedtime stories of her father."

A Maple Valley Christmas

Premieres: Nov. 5, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Peyton List, Andrew Walker

Contains: Property for sale, arrival of handsome stranger, romance on the ranch

Official description: "Erica is a rancher who has spent her whole life working the family farm with her mother and sister. When Aaron arrives and disrupts her plans, she starts to question what it is she actually wants."

Our Italian Christmas Memories

Premieres: Nov. 12, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Sarah Power, Beau Bridges

Contains: Dementia, grandma's beloved pasta sauce

Official description: "The Colucci siblings, in an effort to jog the memory of their grandfather who is struggling with dementia, set out to recreate their late grandmother's legendary pasta sauce."

Long Lost Christmas

Premieres: Nov. 19, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Taylor Cole, Benjamin Ayres

Contains: Interior designer, surprise family members

Official description: "Hayley is an interior designer who plans to surprise her recently widowed mother, Patricia, with the perfect holiday present: the extended family she knows her mom yearns for."

Time for Him to Come Home for Christmas

Premieres: Nov. 26, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Holland Roden, Tyler Hynes, Tenille Townes

Contains: A Mayans M.C. star, mysterious voicemail, second chance

Official description: "Four days before Christmas, Elizabeth Athens receives a voicemail from a number she doesn't recognize. On the message, a man she doesn't know makes one final plea to the love of his life for a second chance. The fifth installment of the popular movie franchise, based on Blake Shelton's song 'Time for Me to Come Home.'"

The Holiday Stocking

Premieres: Dec. 3, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Nadine Ellis, B.J. Britt, Karon Riley, Tamala Jones, Mykelti Williamson

Contains: Angel who just got his wings, estranged sisters

Official description: "RJ is a new angel, who is given the chance to address his one regret, that he didn't help his sisters reconcile while he was still alive. Returning to earth as a stranger, he gets each of them to revive the Holiday Stocking, their parent's old tradition to encourage charity at Christmas."

The Gift of Peace

Premieres: Dec. 10, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Nikki Deloach, Brennan Elliott

Contains: Widow who has lost faith, Christian support group

Official description: "Artist Traci is a once-devout Christian who has stopped believing in God after her husband tragically died despite her prayers. As her second Christmas without him approaches, she tries going to a support group for inspiration and comfort."

Five More Minutes: Moments Like These

Premieres: Dec. 17, 10 p.m. ET/PT, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

Stars: Ashley Williams, Lucas Bryant

Contains: A Williams sister, young widowed mother, holiday homecoming, music from American Idol alum Scotty McCreery

Official description: "The second holiday story inspired by Scotty McCreery's song 'Five More Minutes,' a young widow's Christmas wish for her son is answered in unexpected ways when she returns to their old home for the holidays."

Click this link HERE for more of this article at ew.com

#news #hallmark movies #link #miracles of christmas #hallmark movies & mysteries #first look #photo preview

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ofunknwn · 1 year

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MY WAY , SOON by greta van fleet is something that resonates with RIAN JHA . the music teacher at glen ellen elementary is glen ellen's very own STARVING ARTIST , who has been in town for ten years . while they are only thirty five , they can be very SHIFTLESS but if their friends mentioned them , you'd think they were more GENUINE . in a town where every one knows everyone , it's hard to keep a secret , but i think the killer knows that [ redacted ] , and it's bound to get out sometime soon . i wonder if the killer also thinks of the chill in the air of an early morning before the sun rises , travel mugs full of terrible coffee , tape around the hinge of a broken pair of glasses , the distant sound of acoustic guitar like i do, when i think of them.

name : rian jha

nicknames : rj

age : 35

gender : cis man , he / him

orientation : bisexual

relationship status : single

occupation : music teacher , freelance musician on the side

hobbies : performing in local bars , collecting posters and other band memorabilia , playing video games

EVERYONE ALWAYS SAID he would never make it in life , that his dreams were too big compared to his lack of ambition — and honestly , they were probably right. it is easy enough to say you want to be a star , and even to have a natural inclination for music , but without the drive to back it up , that's when you end up stuck as a teacher in a small town and playing the open mic night on the weekend.

that isn't to say rian doesn't love his life. in reality , he wouldn't change a thing — even considering his lack of expendable income , he's still indulging in his passion which is all that is important to him. of course there are still moments , however , when he can hear the voices of his parents urging him to get his degree in something more useful , or the voice of his younger self excitedly claiming he's going to grow up to be a ROCK STAR , that make him reconsider his life choices.

some wanted connections :

THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY ; it didn't work out but rian still writes sappy songs about them every now and again.

THE RIDE OR DIE best friend ; his go-to , someone that rian just doesn't know how to function without.

AN ENEMY ; it's hard for rian to really dislike anyone , he's a very easy-going person , but I think it would be fun to have someone he really hates for whatever reason.

#RJ : dossier #bludsintro

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oculus-de-malus · 2 years

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1,10,11,17,27 for the music ask 🖤

1. Favourite song right now - I'm low key obsessed with RJ's latest at the moment:

10. Song you have seen live - So many! I've been lucky enough to see dozens of bands and artists live. One of my favourite shows was definitely NIN as part of their And All That Could Have Been Tour though.

11. Song from the '70s:

I'm a big horror soundtrack fan.

17. A holiday song - I don't have anything specific, and it depends on the type of holiday too and who I'm with!

27. Song you daydream to - one of the many:

Thank you for asking 🖤

#ask #answered #music game

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deadfractals · 2 years

Photo

This isn’t quite right. You’ve lived this before. Lingering on Memories will do you no good.

...Go Back to the Present...

Have you seen RIORDAN WILLINGHAM around Faerune? They’re a VAMPIRE who IS NEUTRAL ABOUT restoring the Seelie Court. People have heard they’re LION-HEARTED, COMEDIC & HOSPITABLE but can also be HEDONISTIC, IMPULSIVE & INCONSIDERATE We’ll see where they fall when the revolution arrives, but until then they can be found working as a TATTOO ARTIST, BAR OWNER, & STAND-UP COMEDIAN.

Name: Riordan Jacob Willingham Aliases: Rory, RJ, Ror, October hasn’t called him his actual name in nearly 3 decades so there’s a bunch of nicknames there- most commonly “Joe Fucks” in relation to his birthname, Johannes Fuchs. Age: 228, but he died at 30. Affiliations: Porphyria- He’s their drummer, and probably will be until someone ashes him. Formerly head witch of the Betrachter des Verfalls Family/Coven, fathered a child with Ortenia, which by a degree of separation involves him in the descendants of the Seelie Courts. Formerly a doctor at the Faerune Hospital, specializing in neurosurgery, though he’s left that position as of 2020. Occupation: Owner and Bartender at The 13th Tombstone Tavern, Tattoo artist, and amateur comedian. Gender/Pronouns: Cis Male, He/Him Sexuality: Bisexual Demiromantic Quirks: Heavily tattooed, gauged ears, some of his tattoos for military service, others seeming to indicate a former position of power or magical background, “Ab Inferis Usque ad Sacellum” in a ring at the base of his throat. A slightly lopsided set of fangs, his left notably longer than the right. Wears several pairs of dog tags on one ball chain, and has a number of small silver burns on his arms in the shape of a signet ring for the Betrachter des Verfalls.

BIOGRAPHY

TW Self Harm Mention

A good ol’ boy with a stranger background has probably never found his home in Faerune than Riordan Willingham. Born in Germany in the 1790s to a pair of powerful necromancers, Johannes Fuchs was slated for greatness from the moment he was able to speak well enough to perform an incantation. The Betrachter des Verfalls Coven, “The Beholders of Decay,” were largely regarded as one of the most powerful groups of witches of their time, known for working predominantly in magical schools viewed as ‘unethical’ by other practitioners- Necromancy, blood magic, and specific subsets of potioncraft encouraged among their members- consisting predominantly of the social elite, rich, and locally well known. The Fuchs family was one such family, and Johannes’ mother headed the coven with an iron fist and smooth confidence that demanded the respect of the people of what today is known as Munich. Given little choice in his existence, Johannes assumed he was happy, trained to eventually become the leader of the coven he’d been raised as a veritable prince within. Wanting for nothing and capable within several schools of magic, he was the pride and joy of his mother, a proper heir to her legacy as a necromancer and witch. He threw himself into his studies, eager for praise and attention for being the top of his classes and displaying mastery of a new incantation or cantrip- and often received it, even when he turned his magic on his classmates to prove himself more powerful.

Raised to display savagery and a cool control over a situation, Johannes was rarely allowed to express his emotions, and because of this, rather ostracized from children who weren’t part of his coven- or the network that his coven maintained. A loosely gathered collection of supernaturals orbited the Betrachter des Verfalls, a small grouping of wolf packs and vampire hives relying upon the necromancers to do away with those they may have killed- by accident while feeding, or on purpose, on rare occasion. Among them was Penelope Du Pont, the ‘daughter’ of a head vampire and a suitable political attachment for young Johannes. Changed at a mere 20 years old, she was unskilled and clumsy, Rory often tasked with cleaning up the aftermaths of her feedings, interring bodies to earth while his ‘friend’ chattered in his ear. They grew to like one another, though perhaps not in the way that Johan’s mother would have preferred of him- He cared for Penelope, and she was surely his friend- but there was little love in Rory for her, only trust and affection. It wouldn’t be her problem for long, as when her son was only 18, Marianne would pass away, a vicious and sudden onset of a disease they could do nothing to cure taking her to the grave she forced others to evade.

At 18 years old, Johannes was the head of his coven. At 18 years old, he was leader of a shadowy, twisted cabal that would someday expand across the whole of Europe- swallow and consume others of power into its thrall, signet rings bearing the potion bottle and dagger of the Beholders around several regal and politically charged fingers. And much of this expansion took place in the 12 years young Johannes led. His life became little more than the coven, recruiting, controlling, displaying why Marianne Fuchs was a woman to be respected- why his mother’s training within him should have been feared. He led because it was what he was good at, he led because it was what he was born to do. He was married rather quietly to Penelope- his mother’s instructions clear on the matter, even if her son didn’t truly love her. Their marriage tied the Fuchs and Du Pont families into a clean knot of power and dominance. The coven would control and manipulate- the vampire hive would feed and protect. Known for his willingness to blackmail and bring ruin upon those who slighted his coven, the young necromancer was not without his fair share of enemies, and it would be an encounter with one of those enemies at a mere 30 years old that would start his undoing.

Poisoned. He’d been poisoned at a party, and at death’s door, he’d been laid prone. While he recovered- healers working desperately to drag him back from the hell that surely waited for men like Johannes- His wife’s mind would not. While he did not love her beyond friendship, Penelope’s attachment to Johannes bordered on unhealthy- she’d adored him, and the idea of him dying- not early, but at all- troubled her greatly. It lingered in her chest and mind, the awareness that her husband was far too mortal for her liking- the steady drag and cadence of his heart in his chest a taunt now, reminding her that he was little more than fleeting in her immortality. Eventually, she grew tired of being taunted.

On a cold October morning in 1825, Johannes Fuchs was attacked and changed by a vampire.

His own wife.

As his magic quieted in his veins and his heartbeat went still, he begged her to tell him why, and was only reminded that he was no immortal- but it was fine, soon, once he woke up- he would be. And they could be together forever. He awoke a member of the undead, numb and absent without his magic. He remained with Penelope reluctantly, learning how to control his hunger, use compulsion- to thrall with his abilities, over his gift of gab. But he could keep his new position as a vampire no secret from his family, from his coven forever. And after a few months of care- everything in his power done to hide his death from those around him, he was caught.

The years that followed were a blur.

An escape from Munich, no family- not any more. He was useless to them as a vampire, and unfit to lead, little more than one of the corpses they used than a man who once led them. America, War. First for the Union, then, some time later, the Allies. His dog tags weighed heavier each time. He’d hidden away in the states, settling in the deep south, making a home in Georgia and picking up an accent over time. Johannes no longer- looked upon with suspicion when giving the name there, he changed, Riordan Willingham serving alongside his human compatriots to fight injustice. But still the violence tasted bitter and black on his tongue, each time he fed he brought harm to others- each time he fed, he burned skin with a silver signet ring, several bottles and daggers burned into his body to repent for what he’d become. He called Georgia home until an arrest in the 1920s caused him to flee, consuming his cellmate and digging bare-handed through the dirt floor of his prison.

He wandered for the 5 years following- living off animals and the rare willing party while avoiding society as a whole- and eventually found himself at the edges of the Feywild. Initially intending to disappear within- somewhere he could hurt no one, surely, he found, instead, Faerune. A haven for the supernatural, somewhere he wasn’t a monster preying on the innocent, but perhaps a man among his fellows for the first time since his time in the Beholders. With nothing but a willingness to work and his guilt, he took steps to make the city his home, and once more, time felt as if it picked up speed.

A plot of land near the city, odd job after odd job to scrape together cash, a tavern purchased near the local graveyard and a new reputation among his peers- Rory Willingham was kind of an idiot. Well meaning and simple, he would do anything for a laugh, hurt himself for a lark, and had a thousand funny stories on backlog for those willing to buy him a pint and pay him their mind. He didn’t quite use his brain, and that seems to serve him well, he doesn’t have to be the smartest guy in the room- just has to keep the liquor flowing, and rack up a few rounds of pool for what ails any given visitor. College. He takes the time to attend college, and become a doctor- wants to help people. And that, for a while, is something he’s passionate about.

He meets October Roulette in his second year, a big, mean motherfucker of a vampire in leather and dark glasses, and Rory is quick to make the two of them friends with drinks and a ‘damn, you’re a big ol’ bastard’ once in a while. They graduate together, and when October decides to start taking music seriously- make metal instead of Ska with some of their other classmates, Rory is the first man he asks to join as their drummer. Rory’s happy to oblige.

Porphyria becomes a mortal world juggernaut after 6 years of work, and Rory is given power and a thrall of loyal followers in a way that feels uncomfortably similar to leading the Beholders, these people willing to do anything for their idols a comfortable revolving door to feed his lingering desires from his coven- sex. drugs. control. He adds blood to the list infrequently, when they’ll allow him to feed. He tries to ignore the way that even now, the way indulging the beast in him makes him feel hollow and cruel. Tattoo artistry becomes an interest in 2010, and he quickly takes a position at a local shop- soon becoming one of their head artists with a pretty impressive wait list for the opportunity to sit in his chair. He grows tired of the doctor position- constantly inundated with bad news and suffering of others as he tries to use hands stained black to help. He leaves the position in 2020, to a rather warm, loving farewell from his fellow staff members, a cake he can’t eat with a ‘good luck Dr. Willingham” in green frosting.

He gives himself back to the Tombstone and the tattoo shop fully, focuses on his passions, on being a kindhearted simpleton with a sideways set of fangs and a little sadness behind brown eyes. He worries, however, that the guilt that gnaws at him is obvious, that those who now call his Tavern and his company something happy in their minds may one day see him for the beastly cultist or starved, desperate vampire he had one time been.

He hopes they don’t look too far past good, simple Rory.

#faeruneintro #Blood Redder than My Neck;#Season 1;

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