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#ror x y/n
kanroji-san · 4 months
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Poseidon: My brother and I are the rulers who deserve the most elegant women in the world. We are the strongest, we can never marry someone who is weaker than us.
Hades: Very true, my dear brother. Otherwise, it is unacceptable.
Later of the same day
*Hades holding Y/n who is hugging him like a koala*
Hades: Heaven.
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btdemaru · 11 months
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Chambers
Poseidon x GN!reader
Note : i don't see much posts about him and I'm willing to make some! also reader is human.
Warnings : overstimulation, bottom!reader, master kink, sadistic poseidon, oral sex (reader receiving), dacryphilia, spanking,
MINORS DNI!!
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Poseidon never showed any affection towards you, never held your hand, not even soft kisses in public. Never. He's too prideful and sucked up in the whole 'divine being' thing.
For years you put up with it, even other gods/goddesses felt bad and wonder why are you still with him. What they don't know is that secretly deep inside his dark chamber filled with luxurious items and silk sheets is where he showed affection.
You're sitting on the Gods lap as he sat by the edge of the bed, his fingers sneak their way through the hem of your expensive soft clothing, giving gentle kisses on your neck while leaving pretty reddish purple marks.
It all started there and hours later you're crying, sobbing as he continues to devour you, not giving any time to breathe as he catches another orgasm from you as Poseidon drink every single drop of your cum only for him to start all over again making you more sensitive then before. Thighs twitching, back arching as you plead for at least a five minute break.
Poseidon ignored those pleas "are you saying you're giving up? And here i thought you can do better to please your master." He teased, gaining pleasures from your tears as the tent in his pants grew bigger, and hell he was big. a little too big. You tried closing your legs saying that it won't fit and that it'll hurt too much. "Be quiet, I'll make it fit." His emotionless face glances up to you, no smile but a sadistic smirk creeps up onto his face.
Lining his cock on your hole before sliding it up and down just to tease you, making you plead for him to put it in only for Poseidon to give you a huge spank. You opened your mouth to complain but he pushed in with no warning roughly, not giving any time for adjustment Poseidon thrust deep amd hard but slow. His hand gripping your waist leaving his fingerprints and bruising it perfectly.
The kisses you share with the sea God was deep, passionate and heated. chasing his orgasm Poseidon picked up the pace, throwing your legs on his shoulder giving him more access for his cock to go deeper, your moans can be heard even outside his chambers and yet he only shared a few deep breath and grunts as if he's just doing nothing. Feeling the coil in your stomach released was euphoric, locking and clenching him in, milking every single last drop of his divine cum inside you as your own orgasm washed over.
Your whole body felt tired, exhausted and fatigued. You closed your eyes wanting to finally sleep and get a rest until you feel a sharp sting on your ass making you jolt back up only to find Poseidon's creepy grin. Something tells you that this will be a very very long night..
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sketchy-owl · 1 month
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RECORD OF RAGNAROK NO SENSE
Episode 27
Y/N: Apollo move your ass we are late!
Apollo: I'm putting my make up! Dont worry darling I'm almost done!
Y/N: Apollo you know you don't need make up.
Apollo:Awwwwww that's so sweet from y-
Y/N: You need a whole plastic surgery.
Apollo:....nevermind.
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yukisnowowl · 10 months
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Meme for @deathmetalunicorn1
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Leonidas and Brunhilde are going to beat Apollo in the ass for teaching a child that word and calling Leonidas DILF
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malleusthehammer · 8 months
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Hii, could I please request Sasaki, Heracles, Adam and Hades react if child! reader asked for a piggyback ride? I honestly think that would be so cute and wholesome 😭, reader and the character are very close, and I was thinking of reader kinda looking at them as a parental/brotherly figure? (Brotherly for Heracles, because we all know he would be the best brother ever), thank you if you have time to do my request!
AWEEWS YES YES YES THIS IS SO CUTE IM GONNA BAWL OMFG!! this idea is absolutely amazing
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Getting a piggyback ride from Sasaki, Hercules, Adam, and Hades!
Warnings: None!! pure fluff :3
Type: Headcanons and drabble
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⚔️ Sasaki
You just always thought he was cool!
so of course, you just followed him around
He loves playing with you!
Tag, hide n seek, you name it!
he’s oddly good at hide n seek
This man has taught you so many terms and words you shouldn’t know but ya know
When you ask for a piggyback ride, he absolutely agrees!
You and Sasaki were sitting in a field as usual, resting after a fun-filled day. Sasaki was gently rested against the large oak tree, his eyes closed. The gentle breeze pushed his hair, the grass around him following suit.
His eyes fluttered open as you stood up from your sitting position, standing infront of him in the sun. Your eyes were wide and full of playfulness.
“Mister Sasaki..! Wake up!”
He smiled, sitting up.
“I’m up kid, i’m up.. Are you ready to head back home?”
He watched as you grabbed his hands, trying to pull him off the ground.
“Yes yes! I want a piggyback ride!”
“A piggyback ride? Oh lord, kid..”
He chuckled and stood up, walking over to you. He soon squatted down, waiting for you to hop on his back. He and you laughed and laughed as you rode on his back all the way back home.
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💪 Hercules
SILLY
SUPER SILLY
Demi god jungle gym
just let’s you hang from his arms on a daily basis
Hercules was busy walking down the halls of Valhalla, his weapon resting gently on his shoulder. The only noise breaking the silence was the sound of feet hitting tile in a fast manner.
“Herc!! Hercules!!”
The large Demi god stopped in his tracks, looking over his shoulder to see you running towards him. Your bright smile and small legs hurdling towards him. He was quick to turn around, squatting down to your level.
“Hey kid!”
He opened his arms wide, pulling you into a tight hug. Hercules stood up, spinning you around in a circle before setting you down.
“What’re you doin’ here?”
“Miss Hilde told me where to find you!! I haven’t seen you ALL DAY and i miss you!”
He chuckled at your antics, your slugged down, rolling your eyes about how long it had been since you had seen the god. You quickly made ‘up oy’ hands towards Hercules.
“I wanna be with you! Can have a piggy back ride?”
He smiled and nodded, grabbing you swiftly and setting you on his shoulder.
“I know this ain’t a piggyback ride, but it’s just as cool!”
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🍎 Adam
Hes already carrying you around
you help him pick fruits!!!
Eve loves you sm omg
Adam walked around Eden with you, you both holding baskets of fruits. You both had been roaming around, feeding animals and having fun in Eden. Adam noticed you getting tired over time, slowly trudging behind him in the fields.
“Hey, you okay little one?”
He looked down at you as you slowly trudged up the hill, your forehead covered in sweat.
“Mhm.. i’m.. im okay..”
Adam waited patiently for you to catch up to him, his hair swaying in the wind. As you met him at the top of the hill, you sat the basket in your hands down. You took a deep breath, sitting down in the grass.
“It’s so hot..”
He blinked at you a couple times, before squatting down next to you.
“We only have a bit longer til we see Eve. Can you make it?”
You slowly looked up at him, your eyes heavy and exhausted. You shook your head, wiping sweat from your brow.
“Can.. Can i have a piggyback ride Mr Adam..?”
He stared at you slightly before obliging. He sat you snugly on his back, carrying you the rest of the way back to the house.
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☠️ Hades
Not amused
at all
like he likes you
but he’s not amused by your antics
You had been following Hades around for hours now. Brünhilde had shewed you off, leaving you to wander the halls of Valhalla til you found Hades. He had been ignoring you for the whole time. But he has kept a keen eye on you, always steering away from the gods that may cause you trouble.
After another hour or so, he could see you slowing down behind him.
“Mister… Mister slow down..”
He heard your pleas, his feet stopping completely. He turned to face you, his eyes looking down on you.
“Mm.. as you wish, small one.”
He waited patiently as you caught up with him.
“Mister-“
“Hades. Just Hades.”
He cut you off, kneeling down to match your height.
“Mister Hades- can.. can i have a piggy back ride?”
His brows furrowed slightly, before he slowly nodded. He helped you on his back, then proceed through the halls to helheim.
I LOVED THIS SO MICJNOJ MU HOD ITS SO FITE OSHWWHHSGR SO CUTE IT MADE ME SCREAM THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST!!
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praisethesuuun · 1 year
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I can I request a Poseidon NSFW alphabet please?🥰
So, before you read I have to make some assumptions: the first is that this alphabet has been made as canon as possible; the second is that for this very reason it may not be liked. Having said that, I'll leave you with the reading.
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POSEIDON: NSFW ALPHABET
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A: aftercare <what they're like after sex>
Poseidon is definitely not the type to cuddle and cradle his lover profusely, he doesn’t see the need for it and for him it’s a waste of precious time; however, once the love sessions are over, he stays awake, watching over your sleep and observing your sleeping body, without letting even an inch of skin escape. It’s his way of taking care of you.
B: body part <their favourite body part on them and you>
His favorite part is his hair: always so perfect and cared for, he loves running his hands through it and feeling it soft like golden waves; only he can do it, no one else is granted such freedom. The part of you that he prefers are the eyes: so sparkling and vivid, they change color according to the shades of the sea, and he stares at them whenever you’re busy doing something and so you can’t notice his gaze. Sometimes he finds himself thinking about what would happen if he stole them from you.
C: cum <anything to do with it, really>
Poseidon doesn’t like to see his sperm: it’s the most obvious symbol of his weakness for you, his need for you, and he sees it as a huge flaw in his perfection, something no one should know. But if he cums inside you, who can know the truth? Of course you won’t tell anyone...you just have to try.
D: dirty secret <a dirty secret of theirs>
Before penetrating you, Poseidon loves, LOVES, to put you in the most awkward and painful positions to test your resistance. If you’re really going to be around him, you have to prove you’re capable of it: bear the pain without complaining, know how to stand up to him, and take the pleasure yourself. If you know how to do it, he will have nothing against giving you the fun you want, but you have to earn it, and hard too.
E: experience <how experienced are they>
Poseidon doesn’t have much experience because, before you, his body and mind have rarely made him understand that he needs another person. Moreover, this is not his problem, but yours: you will have to teach him everything, whether you are more experienced than him or not. And don’t leave anything out!
F: favourite position <self-explanatory>
Doggy style: he doesn’t have to look you in the eyes, plus in this position he can dominate you as he wishes, pull your hair, grab your buttocks and make you scream as and how much he wants. Good luck!
G: goofy <would they use humor in the moment?>
He NEVER smiles or jokes in any way, much less while he is fucking you unconscious. In these moments he is even more serious and silent than usual, neither your moans nor your praises elicit the slightest smile from him. A statue.
H: hair <how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the courtains?>
They match and yes, he’s well-groomed (he doesn’t even have to make too much effort because he’s not very hairy there). He cares a lot about his hygiene and to present himself as tidy as possible, so you won’t have to reproach him for anything.
I: intimacy <are they romantic in the moment or they do not care?>
Poseidon is rarely romantic: few caresses and only a few kisses, he prefers to use his hands to torment all your most sensitive points and squeeze you so hard that he takes your breath away. However, it may happen that sometimes a little sweetness flows through his veins and then he touches you more delicately and repeatedly strokes your hair and back, whispering something nice to you.
J: jack off <...self-explanatory part 2>
He never does it because there is no need to: he rarely gets turned on if you’re not there next to him, it always happens in your presence. It is another of the skills that he must recognize.
K: kinks <their kinks>
The Tyrant of the Seas loves to see you wriggling under him, so his kinks must involve something that causes torment (but not necessarily pain): however, there must be no marks on your skin, everything must look perfect… therefore, he would probably have a tickle kink. He would also do it to see how much you resist and with what spirit you face the torture, and furthermore the sound of your increasingly loud and uncontrolled laughters would give him enormous pleasure. What a benevolent god he has.
L: location <where they usually do the do>
His entire palace is one big place where you can bend to his will. The servants quickly disappear at the first moan you emit, everything is silent, there is only you two: there could be no better nest where to test your love.
M: motivation <what turns them on>
Whenever you show yourself haughty and imperious, with that high chin and attitude worthy of who owns the world, he can’t help but feel invaded by the urge to take you on the spot and roll you under him to see how much your composure remains so. If you are in a private place, it will do without ifs and buts; if, on the other hand, you are in public, he will wait for the right moment to push you against the closest wall or the first hidden corner and give vent to his urges.
N: no <things they refuse to do>
Seeing yourself covered in fluids of all kinds (and not water), or dirty in some way. The slightest stain, even a tiny one, sinks his pleasure, there’s nothing that can fix it and make him interested in you again until you’ve cleaned up or changed clothes. Even then, however, it takes a while before he gets close to you again.
O: oral <do they like giving or receiving?>
He prefers to receive than give, the feel of your soft lips around his cock is one of the things he learned to love quickly. He is also good at giving, but before he does it you have to entertain him with your skills for a long time, and only after that he will decide what to do. And you have to swallow all of this sperm.
P: pace <are they slow and sensual or fast and rough>
It depends on the mood, but initially slow. Then, as your moans become more frequent and louder, he speeds up and the sex becomes not necessarily rough but certainly much more animated.
Q: quickie <would they fuck you for five minutes or wait until you wait home?>
Often and willingly, since you are always available. Remember that your personal duties, of whatever kind, will always come after him, so if he asks, you answer; otherwise, he will come and pick you up.
R: risk <...DUH>
He’s not a lover of it: he’s quite habitual and not interested in experimenting, you already manage to give him what satisfies him, so why try something new? That would be a waste of time.
S: stamina <how long can they last?>
He has considerable energy, so prepare for multiple sex sessions throughout the night, each of them quite long - unless he gets tired first, of course. If he sees that you can’t stand it anymore he stops, but he does it reluctantly, and asks you to train your resistance to be able to keep up with him in the next few times. What a bi-
T: toys <do they own any? do they use them?>
Just the word bothers him, let alone seeing them around the room. He doesn’t need it like you don’t need it: you are enough for each other.
U: unfair <how much they like to tease>
A lot, really a lot: from the orgasm denial to pulling back in the middle of intercourse because something you did didn’t go his way - and then he makes you pay by starting to tickle you until you’re about to pass out -this god is the ultimate expression of the unfair in the bedroom. I am very sorry for you.
V: volume <are they asking for a noise complaint, or are they quiet?>
Not a sound, not even a moan. Dead silence compensated by your voice, which in all this silence is even higher and clearer. At least while it lasts!
W: wild card <a random headcanon☆>
If you ask him to have sex in the sea, he can’t help but grab you and fulfill your desire. He takes you where you can’t touch and watches your every move as you try to stay afloat and meanwhile you have to deal with his hands, his mouth and his intimacy that overbearingly demands attention, all while the waves play against you. But it was you who wanted it, so you can’t complain about anything.
X: x-ray <what to they look like under there?>
This god doesn’t have a huge fish, but he knows how to use it against - inside, pardon - you and that’s enough. It is medium long and smooth, slightly thicker at the base.
Y: yearning <are they in the mood to fuck or are they tame?>
Not very high: sex is not among his priorities and he is not the horniest person you can meet, however if he gets excited it can be difficult for him to control himself and he must satisfy his urges as soon as possible.
Z: zzz <how quickly they fall asleep afterwards>
Before sleeping, Poseidon loves to contemplate you for a long time; only when he is satisfied with your sight will he follow you to sleep, without any thought or concern to cloud his mind.
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la-rougo · 7 months
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*SFW*—
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Hades x Chaotic deity ! GN reader
I could make a chaotic reader series lmaoooo
Warnings: swearing
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Even though the king is often busy and doesn’t really visit the upperworld unless necessary, but he sure does know a lot of dieties out there, including you
He only heard about your title like “f/n the disaster bringer” or “f/n the god/goddess of stupidity” he lowkey wanted to know who this deity is
You often run around in valhalla messing with gods and goddesses, pranking all of them and get kicked out sometimes, even Loki is afraid of going near you but ended up being your sidekick
Now that piqued the helheim ruler’s interest, how did someone even managed to do something even worse than loki?
He decided to come out to the upperworld more often to observe you from afar. He wanted to know more about you and maybe hang out around sometimes since he haven’t seek any fun in his life for a long while after all, though he have tons of work to finish
There he sees you pulling out your shenanigans stupidly, how cute. Your chaotic behavior may seem dumb and annoying to other deities but to him? He found it adorable and fascinating on how you come up with new ways of pranking deities none stop
H/c deity was found pushing Loki lightly made him dropped whatever he’s holding “jeez f/n! You’ll never ever get tired of bullying me do you, oh well. That’s what I found cute about you~” Loki said teasingly as he bent down to reach for the object only to feel a hard smack on his ass, his body jumped up highly like those goofy cartoons, yelped loudly from the impact on his butt. He turn look back at you with an angry wojak expression, his fist clenching being one centimeter close to blow your head off with a single punch
You whistles casually and ran away “this is the sixth time of this week that you abused my cheeks you stupid as—!!! *racial slurs*” you saw him chasing after you, running for your dear life, you tried to find a way to escape him cause you know damn well if he finally get you then he’s gonna slap your bakery back with immense amounts of strength that could send you to the oblivion
You found a tall intimidating god, you didn’t look up to see who he is or you have any clue of it, you hid behind him, sticking your tongue out at Loki. The mischievous god sighs and asked the tall god “sir, I apologize for that gremlin and for the commotion. May I have them back?” Loki smiles sarcastically. The tall god chuckles… wait, you recognize his voice “I’m afraid you’ll have you get your revenge later” oh shit. Is that… is that Hades? You thought as you lean to his side to look up and see his face while Loki floats away in defeat
You stare at him, who’s watching Loki leave, he is Hades the king of the helheim… he’s even handsome up close, suddenly his gaze switches to your eyes as he look at you with a gentle smile
“Where’s my thank you hm?” Your soul flew back to your body and you bowed deeply, head digging down the floor “uhh thank you very much mister!” You said, not looking at him. Hades was about to say something but was cut off by you fleeing away from him as fast as you can, leaving him confused and amused
You actually have been crushing on Hades for a while now, obviously you rant about him to Loki
Every time you see him greeting gods and goddesses so formally, unlike you. Makes your toxic traits says you can do that too
Well you actually tried that but failed, miserably
You often sneaked into the underworld to see your fellow friends like hypnos and definitely not Hades
He’s like your biggest crush or smth, when you saw him training or slaying any titans so majestically or his gaze lays on you, literally those night at your house would be you giggling and kicking your feet thinking about him
You often see him in events, celebrations and parties that mostly zeus being the host(of course) and you see how nice, well mannered and perfect he is
He’s like completely opposite to you which made you believe that he couldn’t be with you, he deserves an independent, formal and smart person, a person who’s as perfect as him not a goofy comedian… at least that’s what you thought
After your first direct encounter, you’re so close to explode every time the moment he made an eye contact with you again
Hades decided, soon he’ll get to know more about you and maybe got together… wait what?
You were hanging out in Valhalla again, but this time. You’re alone, sleeping while your back leaning against a tree in the garden while shifting uncomfortably
A presence seems to be approaching your slumbering form quietly, not daring to wake you up from your beauty sleep. The presence looms over your unconscious body, whoever it is, stepped beside you and laying down next to you without making any sound.
Your uncomfortable shifting was not unnoticed by the person next to you, hands slowly caress your back and sides silently, your upper body was caressed gently, being guided by the hands, which make your body turns aside. Suddenly your head lays on a soft surface, a fabric texture. One of the person’s hand now rest on your head and stroking your hair so tenderly. With the change of position and feeling something on your head, it causes your eye lids to open up slowly, expected to meet a sunlight but instead, observing the sight in front of you made you realized your current position.
You were sleeping on Hades’ lap?! While he’s stroking your hair?!?!?!
“Wha-“
“Hush, dear. Go back to your rest”
Your slightly widened eyes stare at his gentle ones, as gentle as his smile that’s being portrayed on his face
You were about to ask more questions but quickly got shut up by Hades’ lip placing against your forehead. Saying you’re shock would be an understatement. Hades’ lift his head up slightly, moving to place another kiss on your already pink dusted cheek
After calling for your soul to come back to your body, yet you still can’t move, not that you want but you’re actually that surprised. But you collect all your courages left and leans up to his face, leaning in slowly and place a peck on his cheek, the same way that he does to you, which made him surprised, but it was quickly replaced by his silly smile
He peck you back on the forehead while his hand run up to your head and pat it dearly, you feel like you can die right there, like fr
Hades lean against the tree and lift you up by your lower parts, placing you up on his lap and he guides your head to rest on his shoulder
He didn’t expect your second encounter would be this… lovely and sweet, he loves it a lot. He felt like everything that mattered his mind vanished while there’s only you in his head, he had never seen your peaceful side before and he love it, honestly he admire everything about you to the point he didn’t realized his feelings developed more and more
The two rest together under the tree in a garden peacefully, no one dares to mind them or even see them in the first place. At least one person saw and ran away to go weeping in the corner
You and Hades eventually become closer and closer together, even if the two’s personalities are as different as day and night, rumors starts to spread about Hades being your boyfriend or smth
I kid you not, when Poseidon heard about this he’s beyond disappointment. Out of all god and goddesses, you??? While zeus actually being supportive and adamas is just, shocked
Hades didn’t mind the rumors, he actually likes it since its just fun to tease you something like “we look like couples don’t you think?”
You almost leave him a scar
He’s actually starting to get serious about his feelings, does he think of you as a friend? Of course! That’s what he at least tried, cause seeing you with Loki makes him rethink his plan about confession
One day he was about to meet you in Valhalla like usual, smiling a bit. Once he’s close to your meet up place. A frown soon took over his face when he sees you and Loki together
He was about to turn away but a few words reached his ears
“What if he didn’t like me back?”
“He’s obvious as fuck!”
“Wait really?”
Hades turn back to see your nervous form looking around, probably looking for him? Hell yea!
He sneakily approach you from behind and surprise you with a little greeting
You flinched and turn around to see Hades’ face, his handsome face… you look back to Loki and giving him the “what do I do bro” face. Loki didn’t reply and slowly leaving, giving you a last thumbs up and vanished
You were about to go chase Loki but soon realized what you have to do. You nervously turn back to Hades, smiling like always, gah dayum he’s hot.
You cleared your throat and trying to recall all the practices you did with Loki, only to stand in front of him awkwardly. Hades’ calm expression turn into confusion and lean himself in to see what’s mattering you
“Are you alright?”
You startled by Hades again and trying to form a sentence
“Okay so, I’ve been crushing on this guy lately…”
Hades’ frown slightly and straightened his back. He only stood silently, he doesn’t even have to ask who it is cause it’s probably Loki, if it’s another person then, why would you tell him and not Loki?
“He’s a very cool god, I used to watch him from afar and admire him, I never thought of approaching him or talk to him because he’s Zeus’ brother. I’m scared he wouldn’t want to date an unserious deity because he’s more than a divine being”
Hades expression changed into a shocked one as he awkwardly spoke up
“Poseidon?”
You look up at him with a “bro what?” Face and facepalm. Do you really have to confess more? You thought he’s more clever than this!
“No… it’s not Poseidon!”
“Adamas?”
“…no.”
That’s obvious enough judging from Hades’ even more shocked expression. You pray he doesn’t reject you or if he does then at least doesn’t damage your relationship, you heard a soft chuckle left Hades’ lips and a reply
“I apologize for my obliviousness… but thank you for your reassurance”
Wait what? Reassurance? Fr? Like— fr?!!
You felt your cheek heat up, so does his. Hades lean in to place a peck on your cheek and pat you
“I like you too”
Flabbergasted was just an understatement, you couldn’t process anything but the only thing you’re sure you’re feeling is happiness and love
You look at him, now slightly flustered expression, which suits him a lot. You lean up and return the peck
Holy shit, having hades’ as a partner is literally every girls dream
Since he have quite lots of work, he’s quite clingy. When he have a free time he would cuddle you and spending times with you ended up with him going back to his work late
He loves you with all of his heart and he never dares to not return the affections because you have to feel how good you make him feel!
He’s also not ashamed of giving you affection or you giving him too much in public, like when he’s having a meeting with the Olympus gang. You who weren’t even invited is sitting on his lap and calling him like “hades my pookie bear” he loves it a lot and love his relatives’ reactions (Poseidon being the most disgusted)
He cares a lot like A LOT about you, example like when you cough a little he would immediately become worried and ask if you’re ok, he’ll go get you warm water and meds
Of course you tell him to calm down, although you love that about him
He doesn’t often get jealous because he trust you and loves you! Though sometimes he’s a bit unhappy when you’re too close with some other god/goddesses. But he wouldn’t cause a scene and just look away until you’re back to him
He🗣️definitely🗣️cook🗣️so🗣️good🗣️even though most of the time you would cook for him, but when it’s his day off he would make the most delicious meal known to Olympus for you, his love of his life
He could go on days ranting about how you’re a light that lit up his dark life into a fun spontaneous one, he loves you so much even words can’t even describe how much he cherish you
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lilithizhere · 1 year
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Incorrect Quotes RoR #3
Shiva:*Is holding a kids leash/backpack* Where did they go?!?!?
Adam: I don't know you were supposed to be the one watching them!
Lü bü: *looking around for them*
Eve:*Same as Lu bu*
Meanwhile:
Y/n:*sitting in a tree eating Budda's candy they got (stole)* Hehehehe suckers! *Gremlin laughs*
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altdoux · 10 months
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A God’s Servant (SMUT)
Poseidon x M! Reader
this kinda sucks, but i thought id post it either way
“Ahn, P-Poseidon!”
You were on your back, legs raised with your knees towards you. Your cock lay inside him as he sat on you, riding you. He was aggressive with the thrusts, all with a sadistic grin on his face.
“What’s the matter?” He asserts breathlessly.
He slams to a halt, watching your face twist from euphoria to dismay.
“This isn’t over until I say it’s over.”
Enchanted, bewitched, obsessed; it would be an understatement to say Poseidon enjoyed having your cock in him.
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rae-pss · 1 month
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can't stop singing (a teen beach movie's song) but it's apollo and reader, who has been cursed momentarily by the god to make her sing instead of talking.
both having a small musical moment between them while he plays the ukelele (is that the instrument playing?) as she tries to stay mad at him; yet as the song goes on she begins to take it less seriously and even starts to dance with the god.
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geekedoutbunny · 1 year
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I liked your shiva headcanon story. May i request a one-shot with Shiva as a husband along with his wives pls? 🙏
Shiva x Spouse! Reader Oneshot - The Married Life
Ooooo~! My first official Shiva ask, so exciting!!
Thank you for sending in this request!! I'll try and give this fic justice!! Hopefully, it's to your liking!!
MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT
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You were in your own separate room, you were reading a book, the windows were opened wide to let in the warm summer air into your room. The sun was high, and the birds were chirping, it was so beautiful here in Svarga Loka, the flowers were big and full, and the animals were always oh so kind. You were deep into your story, when your door was opened.
You looked up and seen Parvati, she was the sweetest of the wives. You smiled kindly at her, watching her timid form creep into your room. You silently went back to your story, listening to her shuffle around the room silently. She always came to your room for peace and quiet, this household wasn't exactly quiet, but it was peaceful. She usually came to your room to work on a new clothing project that she's been working on.
However, that silence won't usually last for more than two hours, until Durga and Kali would come storming in. They were the more chaotic wives, Durga was a warrior with high honor but she was very loud and aggressive. Kali was more of a mischievous devil, she liked causing issues within the house sometimes. You sighed, closing your book, knowing that reading time was over.
"Yes, Durga?" You asked her patiently. She stomped her staff on the ground. "I be looking for Shiva!! Where is our husband!?" She asked, her English was rather broken, having grown up in the mountains. You looked at her for a moment, thinking of where Shiva could be. "Maybe he's in the garden?" You suggested, she thought over your words and she nodded in agreement. "VERY WELL THEN!!" She shouted, before she slammed the door.
Kali was peeking her head in, nearly gotten it smashed in the harsh slam and you could here her bickering through the door. "HEY!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?" She shouted. "NO TIME FOR FIGHT!!! WE MUST FIND HUSBAND!!" Durga shouted back, you listened to their footsteps fade away and you sighed. You then looked at the closet door with a tired stare.
"You can come out now, Shiva." You said, the door opened and out jumped an excited Shiva. "WHOO!!! THEY ALMOST FOUND ME, DID YOU SEE THAT!? DID YA!? DID YA!? DID YA!?" He excitedly shouted as he bounced around. You shook your head at him. "Why do you always hide in my room during hide n' go seek?" You asked him. He stopped jumping around and he looked over at you. "BECASUE!! THEY'LL NEVER GUESS TO LOOK HERE!!" He shouted as he spread his arms out.
You shook your head at him and Parvati sighed. The door suddenly slammed opened and a angry Durga was seen standing there with a ditzy Kali behind her. "I KNEW IT!!! YOU BE HIDDING HERE!!!" She shouted, Shiva stared at her with a fearful look, before he tried to come up with some half ass excuse. "N-N-NO!! I WASN'T!! I'D NEVER HIDE HEEEREEE!!!" He screamed as Durga jumped at him, ready to catch him, but he ran off coming toward you. Your eyes widen and you picked up your items as quickly as possible, but you weren't fast enough.
Shiva jumped on you, causing you to shriek, he then picked you up and held you up like a shield. "DURGA, WAIT LISTEN!! YOU WOULDN'T TACKLE POOR, SWEET, LITTLE (Y/N) WOULD YOU!?" He shouted, a sinister yet fearful smirk on his face. Durga continued to charge, a prideful smirk on her face. "OF COURSE I WOULD, PAVATI IS THE CUTE ONE AFTER ALL!!" You stared at her offended while Shiva looked around frantically for Parvati, but in her space was an outline of where she used to be.
. . . 'THAT LITTLE TRAIDTOR!!!' Both you and Shiva thought at the same time, but you didn't have much time for anything else, because Durga lunged at you both tackling you both in the ground. You both shouted in complaints, but Durga didn't care, Kali tipped over, a cat like grin on her face. "I WANNA DOG PILE TOO!!" She shouted before she jumps onto the pile. Parvati peeked into the room, a cute little smile on her face. "I love my family." She spoke.
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MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT
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kanroji-san · 6 months
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Proposing to Apollo be like-
Y/n to Apollo: uhhhhh the Pros and cons of being with me...
Y/n: Pros. You'll be the beautiful one and with that, I very much mean the beautiful one cause holy are you beautiful
Y/n: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
Apollo:*Grabbing your face in his palms and pecking your nose bridge* you’re perfect the way you are so nothing will change that my dear~
Y/n:*Is processing the action while looking in awe at Apollo's happy face* oh...,oh?....oh oh!?
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l0sercat · 10 months
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Yandere Alphabet w/ Jack the ripper
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Affection — how do they show their love and affection?
Little touches and small gentle kisses
Blood — how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
Semi messy. He won't outright kill people unless they are a threat. He may torture people that leave them on the brink of death if they don't immediately seek medical attention.
Cruelty — how would they treat their darling once abducted?
He would be nice and treat you like any gentleman would.
Darling — aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Yes but it's nothing serious. He may give you kisses on the cheek or lingering touches. Nothing psychical or terrible like rape or torture. He respects you and loves you and wants you to love him back.
Exposed — how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
Almost fully vulnerable. He has nothing to hide from you but a few dark things. He wants you to open up like he has.
Fight — how would they feel if their darling fought back?
He would not enjoy it. He wants you to accept him and your fate. You were made for each other.
Game — is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
It's not a game and he would hate to see you try to leave him. The first time it happened it worried him but after the second and third he grew annoyed.
Hell — what would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
When he comes home covered in blood and a disheveled mess. He hugs and smoothers you which results in the blood getting and smearing on you. You were panicked but he didn't let go of you despite your screams and protest. He fell asleep and gagged at the smell and threw up a little but he to wait to clean up until he woke up and released his hold on you.
Ideals — what kind of future do they have in mind for their darling?
One where you are both happily married and have at least a child or two.(if you can't have children then maybe you can adopt)
Jealousy — do they get jealous? How do they handle it?
He can get jealous sometimes but it's rare. He trusts you and is secure in the relationship. He knows you wouldn't leave him. When and if he gets jealous he just quietly huffs to himself and stands menacingly being you.
Kisses — how do they act around or with their darling?
He acts like a gentleman. He's very caring and loving.
Love letters — how would they go about approaching their darling?
Little gifts left at your door and then bloody roses. Before kidnapping you he would send a very detailed letter about his infatuation of you.
Mask — are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
Yes. Around others he can be considered standoffish and a little aloof. Although still nice. But around you you see his soft side.
Naughty — how would they punish their darling?
He would probably bound you to your shared bed and gag you. He might talk down to you and abuse you emotionally to make you feel bad.
Oppression — how many rights would they take away from their darling?
You wouldn't have a lot but you have more than what most darlings would have.
Patience — how patient are they with their darling?
Very patient. He almost never loses his patience or lashes out at you.
Quite — if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
I feel like there is a 6-10% he would find another darling if the first one does but it's very unlikely. He loved you very much but if he found another darling he wouldn't love them as much as he did you and probably only have them as a rebound. If darling escapes he would be devastated but try to find you. He is searching all over London and panicking.
Regret — would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling?
A little but seeing you next to him(wether you want to or not) gets rid of all the guilt.
Stigma — what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
Probably childhood. He's never had anyone and the one he did she didn't truly love him and then he killed her(*cough*his mom*cough*) He never truly felt love as now that he has he is not letting go.
Tears — how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
He hates it. He doesn't want you to shed tears and scream at him. He expects it he's not to delusional but, he still hates it and it visibly upsets him.
Unique — would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
He doesn't do a lot of non-con stuff and he doesn't put gags and ties on you. He doesn't believe he needs to restrain you and he believes you will warm up to him. He doesn't want to force himself on you because that will only push you away.
Vice — what weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
How caring he can be. He is always sweet and understanding with you. He may sometimes if you beg enough take you out. When it comes to you he a bit of a push over.
Wit’s end — would they ever hurt their darling?
If you push his buttons enough then yes. But he wont do it for fun he'll do it because he has to discipline you.
Xoanon — how much would they revere or worship their darling?
He worships you a bit. Not overwhelming but thinks your a gift from the gods because your so beautiful and amazing.
Yearn — how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
Probably 5-6 months. He just needs to make sure all the preparations for you are perfect and your going to be safe.
Zenith — would they ever break their darling?
I don't think he would. You would probably fall to Stockholm syndrome or fall normally. He's just such a gentleman and would treat you better the non anyone.
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sketchy-owl · 10 months
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RECORD OF RAGNAROK NO SENSE
Episode 24
~Apollo's palace~
Apollo:*looking at himself in the mirror* I look so beautiful!
Y/N:*laughing hysterically in the background*
Apollo:....I guess somebody ENVIOUS says otherwise.
Y/N: Bro you wear even more make up than my grandmother and at least she looks stylish!
Ares: Wooooooo!*cheering for Y/N*
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yukisnowowl · 9 months
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Record of Ragnarok Incorrect Quote #1
Shiva vs Maths Homework
*Ganesha And ChildY/N doing maths homework*
ChildY/N:Can you help us dad?
Shiva:Of course honey
*Horrified Shiva seeing complicated math problems*
.
.
.
*Shiva burning maths homework and holding shoulder of his kid's*: It's not gonna hurt you anymore
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asmolfolk · 1 year
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Buddha x F!Reader
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Thank you for your ask, it was fun doing it! ^^ Hope you enjoy it.
Buddha x Small F!Reader.
For Buddha, it doesn’t matter your appearences. If you are taller, smaller, fem, male or anything else... What matters to him is your personality. So with that out of the way, he is in love with you immediatly.  Don’t get him wrong, he just loves the way you aren’t scared of other gods and that you don’t let the fact that you are human affect that. You know your limits and you put respect on yourself, because of that, a lot of gods actually respect you - not as Buddha’s S/O but as you.  You would be probably one of the few humans that the gods actually like. I could see Heracles, Ares, Aphrodite and even Shiva really liking you and even asking you to spend a day with them.
Anyone that he doesn’t let you to be around?
Zeus and Thor.
 To be honest, I could see Buddha making you keep distance from Zeus - That old rag loves womans like you and Buddha doesn’t want him to try ‘to seduce you’ [Not that he doesn’t believe on your strenght... But wanting or not, Zeus is Zeus.]  And also - Thor. Thor never holds back, it doesn’t matter if it is a human, god, demihuman, his parents - It doesn’t matter to him, he just want a good fight. Because of that, Buddha tries to not make you and him join in fights. Aside from them, he doesn’t care at all if you are friends or try getting closer to others gods, he trust you and knows that - except Zeus and Odin - you could probably live after picking a fight with them.
Is there anything different on your relationship?
I know what I said, but... He can't help it - He will always be teasing you. He really don't care about your appearence, he thinks your beautiful in everything, any shape... But- The fact that you remind him of those chihuahuas are simply... Too funny for him. He is always picking you up, holding you close and then - he would bite your cheeks or kiss you - before he lets you down. He calls you by sweet names [Like literally, he would call you by candy, cupcakes and others sweets that are small.] He will always make things difficult for you - putting things in higher places just to pick you up and 'help you' get the thing. Of course, if you don't like those 'pranks', he will stop it. His way of showing his affection is teasing and annoying you- He always make it up for you on the end, he is always there for you, listening to your concerns and stopping anything that is clearly not fun anymore for you. He cares about you deeply and would start to show his affection with praises and physical touch, sometimes he teases you - but not about your height. If you tease him back, you better run - he will catch you and just tickle you to death-
How does he treat you in general?
He is no gentleman, he is a teasing idiot that loves to piss you off. He loves to see you fighting and would always encourage you to fight against him, after all - he loves to see you so concentrated and even so angry. He thinks it's hot. He loves when you ask him for things, he loves to get them for you - of course, he will tease you.
"Cupcake... You couldn't get that? Oh, poor you- Being small sure has it's ups and downs."
He loves to hold you, it makes him realize how small you actually are compared to him... He loves to feel your body by anymeans. Being a god, sure has it's perks... And being with you is probably one of the best things that could have happen to him.
Bonus.
Those are one of the many 'nights' where you would be the small spoon, being hugged by the one and only Buddha. He was with a calm expression on his face, but he was far from that... His heart was racing... They wanted to kill the humanity - he knows that you wouldn't like it... He knows that you would pick up a fight. That's why he decided to do that for you, he wouldn't let you risk your precious time with that... That's why he let you in Olympus, because he never wanted to lose you. It was selfish of him to prefer dying than having to see you die? He doesn't care if it was. He needs you alive... He needs you happy... And if fighting against the gods is what you want - then, he shall do it. He was in absolute love with you - How couldn't he do something like that for you? He would transform the world for you, he would build castles for you... He doesn't care what's needed... He just wants you to feel loved, safe... He doesn't want you to get hurt anymore... You already hurted yourself too much. "Buddha...? Are you still awake...?" You said, grunning a bit as you felt his hug get tighter a bit... What happened to wake you up. "Are you okay?" "It's... Okay, cupcake... I- I will explain to you later, from now - just rest... Hypnos is trying his best to make you sleep well." He said, Hypnos was a chill dude that you and Buddha could get along with... But even with the mention of him and even with the calm tone that Buddha was using, you knew something was wrong. "You can tell me... You know, I won't judge you or say something bad..." "It's nothing like that- It's... Just the gods, Bru-chan told me about something... And... I will tell you that later, you need to rest." He repeated and you knew that you wouldn't get any other info from him... At least, he would tell you before going to the Ragnarok... Right?
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