So I needed a distraction. Also I had bought #expresso chips and mini #chocolate chips. I hadn't had a purpose in mind for them at the time, but a #distraction was a good purpose. So, I did a little research. I wanted to check a few recipes and proportions. I made cookies very similar to these before, but those just had coffee and caramel extract. These have actual coffee in them as well. Also, #Buttermilk.
In the test batch I made, I used the chips I had on hand, but I would switch out the mini chips for the sea salt caramel chips that #Hershey's makes. The expresso chips I had were #Nestle. Both of these, with a quick google, have some competition. Amazon has many varieties of anything. Now, the one thing that is hard to get is the extracts. #Vanilla, no problem. Coffee is even easy nowadays. But Caramel extract? It's very hard to find Caramel EXTRACT. You could use caramel flavoring in a pinch.
I also used #Starbucks for the coffee since I had it on hand. But a regular cup of coffee or expresso will do. The stronger the coffee, the stronger the cookie. It makes sense.
Now, since I was in the middle of cleaning my oven, I was in a bind. All that cookies dough and nowhere to bake it! I had a thought, I have a toaster oven. An oven is an oven, right? After all, we used to bake with a light bulb in a toy. (Easy bake ovens, remember them?) I checked around online, and hey, it turns out other people have also tried this. This might change my life. Or I'll buy or make more cookie dough that I just end up eating.*
But the toaster oven worked, and I gentled baked 4 cookies. I saw my neighbor outside and took him two to taste test. He loved them and asked when I was making more. He's had my cookies before.
So I present my newest Kookie Kreation,
CARAMEL BLOWOUTS!
The name comes from the diner term for pancakes since they contain buttermilk. Feel free to enjoy it, but don't pass them off as your own and don't steal my recipes. Enjoy! Mangia!
*Don't eat raw cookie dough folks. According to the powers that be, it will kill you, even though everyone I know has always eaten raw cookie dough. It's about the raw eggs, if you're curious. Where that leaves Hollondaise, mayonaise, and eggnog, I'm not sure.
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*inhales deeply*
LET'S GET DANGEROUS....
I know I don't owe anyone anything, but I want to be transparent about why I've not been as active lately.
My recent job loss and the discrimination that contributed to said loss had me severely depressed. After coming down a little from survivor/PTSD mode, I needed to take space from everyone and everything. I am starting to feel better, thankfully.
I have been performing odd jobs in my neighborhood so that I am good on cash for bills and housing this month and part of next month. Beyond that, I don't know what to expect.
I am still working on my Ko-Fi shop. This is one of those things I jumped right into thanks to survivor mode, and I didn't account for everything as thoroughly so I'm taking my time with it.
I did speak to a few legal advocates and a couple of lawyers during these past few weeks. Here's the good, bad, and ugly:
Good: Yes, there was illegal discrimination at play. My place of employment didn't handle things the way they should've regarding my excused absences related to disability, and they contributed to emotional duress and screwed over my education prospects.
Bad: I didn't have a paper trail for everything, but I had enough to prove that I did what I was supposed to do on my end when it came to adhering to my place of employments processes. There is sadly nothing that can be done about the third party health insurance company that played a role in screwing me over.
Ugly: Even with the pro-bono stuff that was offered, I'm looking between 20,000-35,000k out of pocket if I wanted to take this to the highest.
Folks...I do not have 20-35k lying around nor the emotional bandwidth to go through a trial/suit. Yes, GoFundMe is an option if I was dead serious on dragging these fuckers dicks through the dirt, but guys, honest to god, I'd rather that 20k-35k go to the following:
Keeping a roof over my head and food on the table until I have stable employment
Ensuring I can afford medical care for my disability, and afford new tests that I'm going to need for long-covid issues
Help me stay in my graduate courses/obtain my therapy licensure
Use it to help out other disabled folks in similar situations
I have closure that I was indeed wronged, that I did everything on my end to the best of my ability, and these dehumanizing assholes aren't going to rob anymore of my energy or time than they already have.
I have appointments to see if covid has fucked up or contributed to anything more serious that hasn't been addressed. I have a secondary PCP now cause of health concerns that have gotten worse. My fibromyalgia flares have been more chaotic since catching covid in January and I'm still figuring out what my new baseline is with that.
Spring Term of my graduate studies started last week, and I'm getting as much as I can done so I have more free time.
I am trying to find motivation to work my fanfics, drabbles, interacting, etc. It's been hard with everything.
My former employer is trying to get out of unemployment benefits and I've been battling that on top of the other stuff.
I need time to rest (like hibernate) and I haven't had the opportunity to do that.
Thank you again to everyone who has checked in on me, asked me how I've been, sent something positive, or donated. I'm sorry I haven't had the hit points to get to everyone individually, but I am trying and I am grateful for the compassion and appreciation.
If you still want to donate before my Ko-Fi shop is up, you can donate at these places:
Kofi: KitchenRaptorJ
CashApp: $JayRex1463
If you don't have the means, that's a okay. Take care of yourself first.
If you want to send me comfort things (Ardyn Izunia, Higgs Monaghan, Karl Heisenberg, dinosaurs, dragons, etc.) like art, fanfic, etc. my way, that would be wonderful and I am open to that. I'm still open to a friendly hello or check in, just know I won't respond right away.
Now that all is said and done...
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