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radiance1 · 2 months

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Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.

Jason: What.

Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.

Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?

Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?

Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?

Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.

Jason: That's almost sad.

Danny: You in?

Jason: Sure, why not.

===

Maddie: Danny, honey.

Danny: Yes mom?

Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.

Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.

Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.

Danny: Mother I need more context.

Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?

Maddie: Jack!

Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!

Danny: Say WHAT?

===

Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!

Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.

Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?

Jason:

Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.

Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?

Danny: Jason.

Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.

Danny: [Squints eyes]

Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]

Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.

Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny isn't romantically interested in Jason in the least #Neither is Jason romantically interested in Danny #But he needed a partner and Jason was the only one available #Jason somehow managed to balance that and being a crime lord #Jack and Maddie instantly had the suspicion of him being Red Hood aka a crime lord aka a criminal aka a danger to their boy #Danny doesn't know at ALL though and so they hang that theory up because if Danny didn't know then he probably wasn't a crime lord #Jason's identity was almost blown because he pretended to be the boyfriend of his friend #Again Danny doesn't know shit about him being Red Hood he just thought dude was dedicated to his job plus its Gotham #Not that weird to come back with scraps and scratches

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laurents-secret-diary · 5 months

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the quirked up white boy Of Vere

#laurent of vere #captive prince #kings rising #prince's gambit #MY PASTY GUY #i know he's supposed to be enchanting or whatever but i need him a bit fucked up you know what i mean #if he is anything like how damen describes him then my dude resembles a victorian child huffing asbestos #“his skin almost indistinguishable from the pristine white shirt he wore”#ok? ok?? MY MAN TAKES BATHS IN THE STYX??#I just find it soooo funny that this is Damen's ideal man.#this frog ass looking aint shit white boy with the brain processing power of an intel i9 card #i bet his hands are always clammy but noone would know because this dude wont let anyone touch him lol #caprisun

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intrinsically-disordered-proxein · 29 days

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#i didnt make this credit to my friend ubro for making the funniest shit alive #they gave me permission to post #ophioglossum reticulatum #biology #meme #botany #i think #ferns #plant biology #plant genetics #dude these guys are so fucked up #acamemeia

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egophiliac · 6 months

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"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.

there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.

for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #platinum jacket birthday #sorry that this ended up as me just talking about trey's birthday story for...about as long as trey talked about mustard. whoops.#i have said it before and i'll say it again though #the birthday cards have the best and most insane lore and i love them #especially for trey. he wants us to believe he's just some ordinary dude SO bad but he also keeps saying shit like this.#although to be fair as soon as rook enters the building the weirdness bell curve gets immediately fubar'd #so i guess it's all relative #me any time the characters brush off the most whackadoodle bonkers nonsense: why are they not questioning...oh wait #this is a universe in which rook exists and is a real person that they know #never mind please continue

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vieramars · 1 month

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Mag 12 is probably my favorite Gerry episode because this man is covered in hours-old burns zonked out of his mind on painkillers limping around in a hospital that is actively turning into a slow cooker and he still puts in the effort to say mysterious shit and serve cunt

#the magnus archives #tma #gerard keay #gerry keay #mag 012 #him just saying shit and not elaborating is even funnier considering he was off his ass on morphine #also mad respect to him for waking up to kill a dude and then going back to sleep #would be me tbh

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hiragis · 7 months

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No home to return to.

Happy Oct 3rd to those who celebrate!

#fmaedit #fma #edward elric #alphonse elric #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #my caps #graphix #oct3rd #holy shit my dudes i made this on my work computer and had to get the tumblr app to upload lmao but the day i miss oct3rd means im dead #anyway this was a quick thing #hopefully quality is not messed up #happy oct3rd to those who celebrate

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

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i've been asked multiple times for Awake Barnaby so instead you get messy lights out Laughingstock doodles

#featuring the moment everyone found out he was awake #poor dude woke up w/ his arm missing and got Tackled full-speed by 8ft of manic caterpillar #in my mind after howdy stops his 'holy shit youre up' ramble #he suddenly goes dead serious and grabs barn by the lapels and essentially goes 'say something funny. do it. now. make me laugh'#barnaby stammers out the Worst joke of his life #and howdy laughs so hard he stops making noise & just. collapses. wheezing #poor dude's lost it...#meanwhile wally is standing there buffering bc uhhhhhh He Hasnt Spoken To Barnaby In Decades #and is trying to remember their dynamic / how to act around him #wh lights out au #scribble salad #and then we've got a moment from act two!!! yippee!!!!#i wont say anything about whats going on beyond the obvious in that scribble

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soups-archive · 3 months

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Honestly, I don't think people give qCellbit enough credit. As much as he can be blinded by his own self depreciation, he knows his husband.

And there is something deeply wrong with "Roier."

Props to cc!Roier for his acting, because as someone who's been watching the both of them for almost a year now, the way he plays Doied with qCellbit makes my stomach churn a little bit.

It's an almost perfect impression of qRoier, but it's wrong in the ways that matter. He's a little too careless. A little too surface level in his portrayal.

He feels like if someone watched Roier's pov and took his attitude at face value without bothering to consider any of the nuances underneath. Which is, I guess, what Doied actually did.

He hits Cellbit with a sword when he's under-geared just "for fun". He stands back in fights when Cellbit's calling out for help. He nonchalantly brings up Bobby in order to convince the eggs and Cellbit to leave. He tells Pepito that he's Pepito's only parent and that Pepito is only his son. The small details all add up together and the result is something immensely off.

It's VERY well acted, and it's the kind of difference that only someone who spent a long time with a character could pick up on, which is exactly why I think qCellbit seems to have caught on so quick.

#qsmp #soup speaks #like dude roier is fucking KILLING IT #he is selling this shit so hard #and to be clear:#i dont think qCellbit has fully picked up that Doied is a different person yet #but i do think he can tell that something is REALLY fucking wrong #he felt a lot more distant towards 'roier' today #and with the shit he's already seen on this island its not gonna be long before he realizes roier's been replaced #as a viewer every conversation they have feels so.... uncanny #and that is as an outside observer #i cannot IMAGINE how weird it must be for qcellbit

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zivazivc · 2 months

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the morning (afternoon?) after this messy stunt. Floyd got off too easy in my opinion, but it's hard for Les to stay mad at him when he makes those sad pouting faces... 🤦

If you think Floyd's being really dumb at the start of this comic before getting a reality check, you have to take into account that he's madly lovesick and was feeling very smug atm; he's also a 15yo pop troll who thinks making out with someone means they're together now; and he assumed Les's sour mood was entirely the result of a nasty hangover...

P.S. They forgot about Hed lol (I almost forgot about him too, drew him just before posting lmao)

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls floyd #trolls oc #les #hed #ex bandmates #my art #pop trolls curse in their kid friendly lingo but rock trolls curse normal-style #it's just facts #i don't think les is being honest about how much what floyd pulled really upset him #he is a victim of much abuse growing up and some shit fucks him up more than the regular person #but he also knows floyd had no malicious intent and is just a kid #so he rather bottles it up to not upset both of them even more #amazing coping and communication skills this one 🤙#he is trying his best tho #i can't tell if you guys can tell but he's basking in the sun in that one panel #trolls comic #this was a really fun way to explore les's character and their dynamic #also les and hed's dynamic #trigger warnings:#tw alcohol #tw smoking #les gives life advice then offers cigarettes uwu #also you know this dude's hair smells horrible if he stores cigarettes and koosh in there ksjfbsdkc

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inkskinned · 2 years

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it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!!#i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person!#this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!!#it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!!#please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me''#im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay''#about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me.#i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine.#you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer.#none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

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wibble-wobbegong · 2 years

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will byers literally went to hell, redecorated it, came back to life, got possessed, and his biggest problem is some guy named Mike

#bro stand up PLEASE #HE’S SO FAR GONE DUDE #HE COULD BE HAVING PTSD NIGHTMARES BUT I BET HE’S DREAMING ABOUT HOLDING MIKE’S HAND OR SOME SHIT #coping through the power of being gay and really sad works i GUESS #byler

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spearxwind · 7 months

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✦ Tfw your killer AI gets himself stuck in fucking orbit, somehow still manages to be a nuisance ✦

I've had this idea in mind for a few years and finally drew it, but since I've missed doing actual comic pages and I really wanted to start messing with more creative paneling I thought I'd use it as an excuse to experiment instead of just doing a little strip like usual >:] so enjoy this shitpost in 4k ultra HD edition

#windyart #comic #the hollowridge disaster #knife #adriel #TEEHEE.... DOING LEGIT COMIC PAGES LETS GOOOOO #im actually so fucking proud of this my dudes like for fucking real !! hello!!!! i drew this with my own two hands!!!#and i didnt use my usual workflow I just made some shit up!! :D feels good!!!!!#if i ever did a legit HR comic it would probably look rly similar to this i think. i love the aesthetic very much #im probably gonna try and do my comique shitposts this way for a while bc i wanna practice paneling and such. its more of a time investment #but also its an investment nontheless!!#anyway i hope you enjoy this i hope you find it as funny as i do MWAH

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bigender2 · 1 year

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