#silm crack

[gondolindon]

the fact that 'nolo' (derived from the root for wisdom) means embarrassing/cringe in finnish is hilarious to me. in cringe there is wisdom. professor's words not mine

#i do agree though #cringefinwe:) #tolkien #the silmarillion #silm crack #silmarillion memes

[sillymarillion-comics]

Sorry everyone but this is how i headcanon Huan from now on, idc...

#huan #lemmedoitforyou #kermie #longdog #luthien #beren #gorthaur #The Silmarillion #Sil(ly)marillion #silm crack #tolkien

[elvinye]

already inflicted this on the discord server and decided to make everyone suffer here too

assigning silmarillion elves bad driving habits

feanor: speeds, unless you tailgate, in which case he will slow down until you back off. if he has to stop in the middle of the high way, that's your fault for entering a battle of wills with feanor

fingolfin: tailgates

finarfin: does 5 below the speed limit in the outside lane

maedhros: chronic backseat driver

fingon: incapable of using turn signal unless he has explicitly been reminded by maedhros in the past 15 minutes

maglor: plays music so loudly he cannot hear sirens if an emergency vehicle needs to pass

celegorm: explicitly ignores those special speed limits around schools (either they learn or they die)

curufin: has modified the shit out of his car so the engines are super loud because he thinks it makes him look cool

caranthir: knows the location of every speed and red light camera in tirion. abuses this knowledge.

celebrimbor: on his phone

nerdanel: thinks stop signs are a suggestion (see also: red flags)

finrod: incapable of recognizing when he is too drunk to drive. very insistent he gives his drunk friends a drive home because they're to drunk to drive and he wants them to be SAFE

turgon: tells everyone to get an electric car while not actually having one himself

#tolkien #silmarillion #silm #silm crack #yes i know this is just house of finwe ssh i'm biased #not tagging everyone there's too many of them #i'd say tag yourself but i'm not a fucking cop #i may be feanor and maglor tho

[stormygopher]

The best possible adaptation of The Silmarillion would be musical in the style of SIX with all the kings of the Noldor singing about their horrific deaths.

#i’m right and you know it #silmarillion #jrr tolkien #finwe #feanor #maedhros #fingolfin #fingon #gil galad #not art #silm crack #Gil galad: didn’t you abdicate? #Maedhros: yeah but I still died horribly so #feanor spends half the musical attempting to physically fight fingolfin #lotr #lotr memes #silm memes

[vildo]

Fëanor: no one’s dying on my watch

Fëanor: go die somewhere I can’t see you

#shitpost #tumblr trash #tolkien #jirt #j r r tolkien #incorrect tolkien #incorrect tolkien quotes #silmarillion #silm #feanor #curufinwe #noldor #high elves #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect silm quotes #incorrect silm #incorrect quotes #silm fandom #silm trash #silm crack #silm shitpost #silm incorrect quotes #crack

[millenariumhappinesstheorem]

The real silmarils were the friends we made along the way

#silmarillion #silm #tolkien #shitpost #silm crack

[cilil]

Does Mairon...

...have magic hair? At least it's very pretty. It can probably combust too.

...have magic hands? Definitely. People were set on fire, and he's a sorcerer.

...have animals talking to him? He's the lord of werewolves. Nuff said.

Has Mairon...

...been poisoned? Not that we know of, though he would certainly claim one or two particularly bad cooks did this to him.

...been cursed? Yes, but mostly with good looks, charm and his amazing talents✨

...been kidnapped or enslaved? Yes. The Númenor incident.

...made a deal with an underwater sea-witch? Not that specifically, but he has a deal with the devil.

...ever had true love's kiss? Yes, because everyone is in love with him.

...have daddy issues? Probably. Eru seems to do that to people a lot.

Does Mairon also not have a mother? Nope, and none of the Ainur do!

Do people assume that all of Mairon's problems got solved because a big, strong man showed up? Yes, and that man actually was a prince too (though Mairon himself would certainly say Melkor caused a lot of problems than he solved...)

Conclusion: Mairon is a Disney princess

#mairon #sauron #crack #silm crack #shitpost #silm shitpost #silmarillion #lotr #i'm on 5 hours of sleep can you tell

[jlmssg]

Don’t let him near any flammables

#up to you to decide if Melkor is instigating here #feanor #the silmarillion #feänor #melkor #lord of the rings #the hobbit #sauron #house of feanor #artwork #silm elves #silm memes #lotr elves #lotr fanart #lotr #silm crack

[ughtumno]

real picture of mairon's first day as a bad guy

gothmog took it

also his expression kills me

#angbang #silm crack #seduction of mairon #melkor #mairon #theres 5 pixels of red on saurons face #dw abt it. its blood #middle earth

[carmisse]

Random moments from the Silmarillion PT 3

#the silm fandom #the silmarillion #feanorians #house of feanor #house of fingolfin #house of finarfin #finweans #russingon #turgon x caranthir #amras/angrod #beleg x turin #Anaire x Nerdanel #Finwe/Thingol #sons of feanor #curufinrod #Aredhel #Eol #elured and elurin #silmarillion #Celebrimbor x Maeglin #silm crack

[solmarillion]

i have the silmarils on my christmas tree, aren't they so pretty?

they're perfect ornaments, i'd love to kee-

[the sons of fëanor have entered the chat]

#feanor #feanorians #sons of feanor #silmarils #silm crack #silm shitpost #silmarillion memes #silmarillion

[elvinye]

when celebrian meets maglor she's openly furious with him and everyone assumes it's for a kinslaying/kidnapping related reason

except elrond, mortified, who knows it's because maglor made the mistake of teaching him the noldor equivalent of "the song that never ends" at age 8 as a way to annoy maedhros and elrond made the mistake of teaching it to his sons

you have not known suffering until you have experienced the world's most overexcited peredhil twins shout-singing at the top of their lungs at 3 AM refusing to go to bed

celebrian is willing to forgive a lot but some crimes are unforgivable

#tolkien #silm crack #silm shitposting #kidnap fam #kidnap dads #maglor #elrond #celebrian #elladan #elrohir #the good news is she is able to bond with maedhros over The Suffering

[kanafinwe-makalaure]

All the songs Maglor wrote during the Second Age

I Am Sad At The Beach (Part I)

Noldolantë 2 (It Got Worse)

All My Brothers Are Dead (Minor Key)

A Seagull Just Shat On Me

A List Of All The People I Murdered (To Pay Homage To Them) (At Least The Ones I Remember) (Sorry To The Rest)

I Am Sad At The Beach (Parts II&III)

I Am So Proud Of My Adopted Sons

Sometimes I Wish My Wife Hadn't Left Me (Good For Her Though) (But I Do Miss Her)

Requiem For Elros Tar-Minyatur (Secret)

Sorry Everyone (Including Everyone I Murdered And Drove From Their Homes And Also The Valar (You Guys Are Not As Bad As My Dad Said))

I Just Wanna Go Home (But If Anyone Ever Sees Me Again I Will Die Of Embarrassment And Shame For My Many Crimes)

I Am Sad At The Beach (Part IV)

One Of The Strings On My Lyre Broke (Significantly Impacting The Way I Play It) (Three Stringed Lyre Acoustic Sessions)

Seashells Remind Me Of The Beach At Alqualondë During My Glorious Uni Days (Where I Later Murdered A Bunch Of People) (I Hope None Of Them Were People I Went To Uni With)

I Am Sad At The Beach Parts I-IV (Adapted For Three Stringed Lyre)

I Befriended The Seagull That Has Been Bullying Me For Nearly Three Thousand Years

All My Brothers Are Dead (Reprise)

I Am So Sick And Tired Of Eating Mostly Fish

My Lyre Is Down To Two Stings

I Want My Mum

Intense Piece For Two Stringed Lyre (I'm Sure These Last Two Strings Will Hold Up Fine)

By Manwë This Can't Be Happening (Acapella Version)

I Think Elrond Is Looking For Me (Possibly To Execute Me For My Crimes But Likely To Love Me Which Is Way Worse) (Acapella Version)

#also titled maglors slow descent into madness #silm shitpost #silm crack #Silmarillion #Maglor #I'm so sorry for this #Elrond finds him and takes him to Rivendell #and puts a set of brand new strings on his lyre

[demonscantgothere]

I've survived death multiple times. Maybe I'm a cat, or maybe I just have Big Ring Energy. You decide.

— Sauron, at some point, probably.

#sauron #mairon #silmarillion #lotr #silm crack #lotr crack #this has been sitting in my drafts for a while

[vildo]

One elf to burn them all

#tolkien #shitpost #tumblr trash #jirt #j r r tolkien #incorrect tolkien #incorrect tolkien quotes #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr trash #feanor #curufinwe #silmarils #silmarillion #noldor #elves #the silm fandom #silm crack #lotr crack #silm trash #silm incorrect quotes #crack #text post

[cilil]

Imagine being literal Satan and then you hire this little twink to work for you and suddenly you get bossed around in your own fortress and permanently shamed for your utter lack of organization skills

#angbang #melkor #morgoth #mairon #sauron #crack #silm crack #shitpost #silm shitpost