#incorrect tolkien | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vildo · 2 months

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Fëanor: no one’s dying on my watch

Fëanor: go die somewhere I can’t see you

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autistook · 3 days

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Merry Brandybuck as text posts

#lotr #lord of the rings #the lord of the rings #tolkien #merry brandybuck #meriadoc #meriadoc brandybuck #lotr merry #lotr gifs #incorrect tolkien #incorrect lotr #incorrect lotr quotes #dom monaghan #jrrt #middle earth

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sauronnaise · 3 months

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Slay

#tolkien #shitpost #silmarillion #tolkien memes #slay #first kinslaying #second kinslaying #third kinslaying #fëanorians #noldor #teleri #sindar #incorrect silmarillion #incorrect tolkien #using incorrect for tags when its in fact very correct #crack

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entishramblings · 10 months

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Tolkien Characters as things my extended family and I have said on our annual five day bender (pt. 1)

Aragorn: Anything that wants my blood bothers me.

Kili: No cousin wants to see their cousin’s friend’s dick and balls!!!

Legolas: You cannot mount the lama. I’m sorry. You cannnot do it.

Boromir: What is that? Your ass peircing??

Denethor: MINECRAFT. THEY ARE SITTING ON THE PORCH BEING CRIMINALS. M I N E C R A F T.

Samwise: Google potatoes.

Fili: And then she had this unwashed asshole and she wanted him to eat her ass because she really wanted him to eat it, but he never did.

Thranduil: I threw shit at my children. White claws. Dirt. Children.

Merry, seeing Pippin pour beer on his foot: That’s alcohol abuse.

Bombur: I’m a big fan of beans.

Bofur: I’ve got a mattress. I can pretend that someone is under me….and on top of me.

Kili: *rushes Fili into his room* I need to tell you about my bagalini addiction. *pulls out 5 different bags* “You can’t tell Thorin!”

Dwalin, looking at Bilbo: He’s a concerning kind of weird.

Gimli: Hey! ASSHOLE! Come join your friends over there. There’s some sort of orgy happening.

Samwise, spraying an insect eating his plants: fuuuuuuccck youuuuuuuuu

Kili: Uncle Thorin poked me in the butthole.

Gimli, to Gandalf: You look like you have been antiqued.

Frodo: I feel like a shriveled up shrimp.

more parts coming soon!

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an-eldritch-peredhel · 2 years

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My most brilliant animatic idea that I will never make: Gay or Calaquendi, in which several Sindar speculate on Maedhros' sexuality to the tune of Legally Blonde's Gay or European. The climax of the song, of course, goes like:

Daeron: So Lord Maedhros, this alleged affair with Lady Luthien has been going on for?

Maedhros: 2 years

Daeron: And your first name again is?

Maedhros: Nelyafinwë

Daeron: And your boyfriend's name is?

Maedhros: Fingon.... I'm sorry! I misunderstand, you say boyfriend, I thought you say best friend! Fingon is my best friend!

Fingon: You lying bastard!

#russingon #daeron #maedhros #fingon #incorrect tolkien #incorrect silmarillion quotes #gil estel speaks #(if anyone wants to make this... tag me ;)#the 'look at that condescending smirk see it on every guy at work' part cuts to maedhros saying 'a king is he that can hold his own'#the'yet his accent is hypnotic but his shoes are pointy toed' bit is esp funny bc feanorion accent and my noldor actually wear pointy shoes #'they play peculiar sports in shiny shirts and tiny shorts' cuts to celegorm and aredhel #'its not a fashion curse if he wears a kilt or bears a purse' cuts to finrod #'~depending on the time of day vanyar go either wayyyyy~'

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frequentlychangingfandoms · 9 months

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Balin: So how exactly did this accident happen?

Ori: We were driving and Amahle didn’t see that there was a deer in the road, so I said, “Amahle, deer!”

Balin: Okay. And then?

Ori: Do you wanna tell him what you said next or should I?

Amahle:

Amahle: *sighs* I said, “Yes, honey?”

#incorrect quotes #incorrect hobbit quotes #incorrect tolkien #the company #the hobbit #ori the dwarf #balin #amahletook #amahle x ori

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mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware · 7 months

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#humor #shitpost #pls help #lotr memes #lotr #incorrect lotr quotes #lord of the rings #the lord of the rings #gandalf #jrr tolkien #hobbits #po tay toes

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thethirdtreeofvalinor · 1 year

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#they’re asking elrond #barbie movie #tolkien #lotr #lotr memes #the lord of the rings #incorrect tolkien quotes #lotr fandom #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #aragorn #legolas #frodo baggins #gimli #samwise gamgee #pippin took #boromir #gandalf #the fellowship of the ring #merry brandybuck

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silvantransthranduiltrash · 6 months

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Ngl, obsessed with the idea that the questers know that legolas is, if not thousands of years, then centuries old, but it not regestering until he mentions having met their ancestor or a historical figure to them. It doesn’t help that legolas looks like a teenager.

Just like that scene with eowyn realizing aragorn is a legit grandpa but with legolas and the rest of the walkers instead.

Legolas: i never had the pleasure of having a conversation with the man, but from the brief glimpses of (insert boromir’s ancestor from 1000 years ago here) that i saw, he was an honorable man.

Boromir, bluescreening: yes, he was known as quite the chivalrous man. But for you to have met him you must be at least a thousand years old!

Legolas: *clicks tongue and doesn’t say anything with an amused smile*

Aragorn, who has gone through all these emotions already: older.

Gimli: Older?? Are you telling me that this beardless, pointy elf with a face of a teenager is, what? 2000?

Aragorn: more.

Gimli: MORE???

Merry: if he is close to 3000 years than he was probably born around the last war for the ring!

Legolas, enjoying this all immensely: i was old enough to fight in it actually.

Pippin: alright, so legolas is 3000 and a few centuries. That’s a lot older than i thought to be honest. He looked like the youngest elf in rivendale.

Legolas: i’m 4000, actually.

Gimli: GODDAMN IT! I knew we shouldn’t trust these babyfaced point ears! You can’t even tell their age!

Legolas: if it makes you feel better, other elves also have a hard time discerning the age of silvans. They’ve routinely thought of mine to be millenia younger that we actually are.

Boromir, having an existential crisis: what the fuck

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incorrect-lord-of-the-rings · 2 years

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incorrect-tolkien-quotes · 1 month

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Legolas: I kissed Gimli.

Aragorn: Wow.

Aragorn: I owe Gandalf so much money.

#gigolas #legolas greenleaf #gimli son of gloin #aragorn #gandalf the grey #incorrect fellowship quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect tolkien quotes

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vildo · 2 years

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autistook · 28 days

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Merry: *Nervously* Here we go. I'm bisexual. Alright, you'll have exactly one minute and zero seconds to ask any questions regarding this.

Frodo: How long have you known?

Merry: Since I was a tween.

Sam: What made you decide to tell us now?

Merry: Pippin found out at Bilbo's birthday party, and I was positive he wasn't gonna be able to keep this secret for much longer.

*Cut to a few days back*

Pippin: Bye, Merry. I mean, not bi. But bye! I mean see ya. I mean, have fun only having sex with women. Just banging chicks left and right! *Gives a thumbs up.*

*Cut back to present day*

Pippin: I just stopped saying bye altogether.

#lotr #incorrect lotr quotes #b99 #merry brandybuck #pippin took #lotr memes #lotr shitpost #incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr #meriadoc brandybuck #samwise gamgee #frodo baggins #jrrt #tolkien #incorrect tolkien

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sauronnaise · 2 years

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entishramblings · 2 years

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Gimli: Penises perceived!!!

Legolas: Where do you just see penises?

Gimli: Ya know….on the sidewalk.

#LOTR characters as actual things my friends and I have said #LOTR #lord of the rings #gimli #Legolas #incorrect quotes #incorrect lotr #incorrect lord of the rings #incorrect the hobbit #incorrect tolkien #LOTR meme #LOTR memes #LOTR shitpost #LOTR shitposts #queue you fools!

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an-eldritch-peredhel · 2 years

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In conjunction with my fic lovely laughing maiden, since it focuses on Lalwen, for a late day two entry of @finweanladiesweek I'm obligated to say that trans Findis owns my entire heart. I see young Findis as fairly similar personality-wise to young Galadriel, and I also think her deadname was something very respectable and politically safe unassuming, so I think her coming out went like:

Her: I am a nis, not a ner.

Fëanor: oh good that means she isn't a threat replacement problem to me.

Her: I am changing my mothername to Findis. I will be keeping the name Sartafinwë.

Fëanor:

Findis Sartafinwë: :)

(Also I really don't think Indis would be making such a big political statement with her firstborn, and if it's not a Statement then Findis is just. Not a great name. Hair-woman/a portmanteau of parent's names is not acceptable alone but in conjunction with the Statement becomes tongue-in-cheek, especially when the person who chose it is a trans woman with very pretty, very Vanyarin Gold hair.)

#my headcanons #headcanon #tolkien #findis #trans tolkien #feanor #incorrect tolkien #finweanladiesweek #findis isn't quite spiteful but she also is Not Dealing With Feanor's BS and has very little sympathy to his abandonment/replacement issues #oh so he hated her when she was his brother but as soon as he doesn't feel like he's being replaced by her he's perfectly cordial?#sounds like a him problem. say hello to your sister finwe-indis (-vanyarin-hair) steadfast-finwe *bitch*#lalwen is now feanor's favorite sibling by virtue of having no opinions on her. lalwen knows this so *her* favorite sibling is fingolfin #pre-darkening he technically only barely beats out findis but she is also Making A Point

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