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#so how are there NO LESBIAN URBOSA FICS
unityrain24 · 5 months
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i'm not super into reading x reader fics (or romance/sex fics in general, but especially x reader) but sometimes i'll scroll through them anyways and.
why are there literally like no lesbian urbosa fics. everyone knows she's a lesbian. everyone thinks she's hot. so how are there like 0 lesbian urbosa fics. what's wrong in the world
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vigilantdesert · 11 months
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Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?
Welcome to the Salty Spittoon
Urbosa/Daruk, 100%. I've never thought there was any romantic chemistry there, but they are the two oldest champions so I'm not terribly surprised? I think I'm A) too married to Lesbian Urbosa (yes I know Gorons don't really have a gender and wouldn't be considered men, but Urbosa doesn't really tend to go after masc presenting people of any gender) and B) too stuck on the implication that Daruk is significantly older than Urbosa. I don't say the last bit in the sense that I think it would be a weird age gap, I say it more in the sense that I've always viewed their relationship as something of an "old mentor and student teaming up to fight the big bad" sort of arrangement.
In fics I wrestle with younger Urbosa a lot and let me tell you, she was terrified to be chieftain. She never tried to run, and she always understood it was her duty to lead, but there were many times when she wished she could have turned to her mother, who passed barely after Urbosa came back from her coming-of-age-journey. I feel that, during those times, she often turned to Daruk, who she always got on with during diplomacy trips, and who she thought understood their culture better than the Rito, Hylians, or Zora did. Gorons are native to Death Mountain, but their living conditions are still much more dangerous than the rest of Hyrule is to its chosen people. Daruk understood how hard water rationing laws could be, how unpopular drafts were, and that the balance of when to yield and when to stay strong was often a decision made in the moment. This is all to say that, when the pair come to work together as champions, I've always seen it more as them coming together as equals at last rather than potential romantic partners meeting for the first time.
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science-lings · 2 years
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BOTW/ Linked Universe Fic WIP’s
THIS POST IS OUT OF DATE AND INACCURATE, THE CURRENT ONE IS PINNED ON MY BLOG
Of Dubious Sophistication: 2/? posted chapters, Wild meets the chain on a day where he has to act like a person and decides to fuck with their misconceptions of him.
The Silence of the Knight: BOTW pre-calamity fic that’s mostly an introspective fic about why Link went silent and how everyone around him reacts to his lack of outward emotions. I just saw the concept of people seeing him as not quite human because of his refusal to show any emotions and wanting to catch a glimpse of how/ if he reacts when tragedy strikes, just to see if he has the ability to feel anything at all.
Unpublished fics under the cut, please let me know if any of them interest you so I can prioritize what I should focus on writing!
Free to Hide: Zelda and Link attend a festival in disguises unbeknownst to each other and they end up spending the whole time together without knowing that there are eyes in the darkness watching them. Spy thriller/ romcom vibes. Also there’s gender stuff because Link wears a dress and Zelda is almost exclusively referred to with neutral pronouns. 
The Last Champion: Wild gets all the champions abilities after their spirits move on, but in a more similar way to how they used them, mostly just Hyrule and him becoming magic buddies and Wild learns how to use his new magic abilities. 
Between the Doors of Death: A mix of both LU and BOTW as it takes place while Wild is dead and he hangs out with his ghostly incarnations and dead family members. Lot’s of family headcanons and an appearance from the 10k hero. 
No Goodbye is Forever: How the last day with the chain happens and everything after. Meeting up in the afterlife and a little bit of keeping Wild company during BOTW2. 
Another Second Chance: classic Wild gets pulled into the AOC timeline and is tasked to help prevent the calamity. But he looks different enough from his counterpart that he doesn’t reveal his true identity. He accidentally parallels Astor in the whole mysterious sorcerer/ seer vibes as he both knows the future and popped out of nowhere in a dramatic cape and ancient technology. Lots of interaction between Wild and the champions and there is both angst and hijinks. There’s also stuff about the new champions as most of it follows the plot of AOC. Also Wolfie is there because I thought it would be funny for him to bop around the baby egg guardian.
Tainted Blood: Time, Twilight, and Wild are related. How they find out and how the magic that they used affects the bloodline. Malon as Malanya because I love the idea that she just turns into an eccentric horse god and was waiting for a child she had already met. 
Son of the Storm: BOTW fic centered around Urbosa and Link because I love her and her mom energy is perfect. Definitely some gender stuff and found family vibes. Link deserves a mom and Urbosa saw this short blond child and didn’t even ask if anyone else was going to adopt him she just did it. 
The Cruelty of Destiny: BOTW Fem!Link fic focused on how being the first female incarnation of the Heroes Spirit would be treated with a little bit of Zelink as forbidden fantasy lesbians. Link is angry and all of her past lives are just as pissed as she is. She’s seen as a harbinger of the calamity rather than the hero sent to stop it. And she’s seen as a mistake of the goddess and proof that the 10,000 years of peace was now at an end. General woman problems you know?
Hylia’s Chosen Children: BOTW Link and Zelda catch up on being shitty kids after the Calamity and preparing for it stole their childhoods from them. Pure fluff, let them be kids please. Lots of pranks and sleepovers with Riju and stuff like that. They’re both trying to learn how to be regular people without absolutely massive responsibilities. 
The Bloodline of the Wolf: Similar to the one before as it’s focused on Time, Twilight, and Wild and how they’re biologically related but this one is more about their canon relationships and answering questions that the comic gave me. Like why only Twilight and Time know about Wild’s memories despite how we are to assume that the entire chain kind of came together at once, why them and all that. 
When You Can’t Die: Wild and his strange relationship with death, as someone who has been resurrected countless times and literally cannot die. He still has the champions abilities and kind of forgets that it is very much not normal to die as much as he does. 
What was Killed for Good: Wild and his struggle to be human, the shrine took more from him than his memories and replaced them with something else. He’s just very odd and the people around him notice more than he does. He doesn’t know what’s normal and he feels alienated because of how people react to him. He just wants to vibe in the woods and ride bears. 
Breaking, Broken: You know how all the weapons in BOTW break and it’s super annoying? What if that was a curse and also applied to people? Anyway, Wild is touch starved and desperate not to accidentally hurt his friends. Fortunately, magic has loopholes. 
A Strange Kind of Self Reflection: Wild has identity issues and gets stuck in beast form after catching Twilight’s Shadow crystal. I have the perfect idea for what animal he would be and you guys are not ready.
The Heroes Before: Pre-Calamity Link learns about his predecessors through artifacts and very old records in his attempt to prepare for Ganon’s return. 
Damaged: Literally every Link is a little fucked up and this fic is an exploration about how it manifests. 
Some Kind of Sauce: Wild Genderfluid fic featuring Lullaby/Sheik and sexism. 
Age of Heroes: AOC but with the entire chain, idk, I don’t have much for this one other than wanting to have my own take on the trope. 
Untitled fics ideas:
Modern with magic AU
Pride fic
Gerudo Town fic
Masquerade Ball fic
Soulmate/ Soulmark fic
Cursed Animal fic
Superhero AU
Once Upon a Time AU (mostly in the way that it’s a mixture of a modern au and a fantasy world kind of thing)
Indiana Jones/ the Mummy AU: Zelink but Zelda is an archeologist and Link is an Adventurer/ Explorer type and they need each other but go from reluctant allies to lovers due to plot
BOTW roleswap AU: Prince Link and Champion Zelda, maybe I’ll add some trans vibes but who knows, not me
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botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years
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Whoopsie King Rhoam’s a dick but I gotta flesh him out so
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Read Part 1 here!
Part 2
If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!
Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1
‘sup ya beautiful bastards it’s time to gush about the process of storytelling and writing as we fix up the fix it fic so let’s just jump into it
- - - - - - - - - - 
A quick recap of Part 2, and I swear this recap is faster than the recap last time: Chapter 3 of Age of Calamity opens with a more substantial scene the beginning points of Revali’s character, and contrasting the old position that Link and eggbot have, so that their later changes in this chapter (well, at least for Link in this chapter) are more pronounced. We edited a bit of the dialogue to make Revali’s intentions make a bit more sense, while also putting some little foreshadowing points with some camera tricks for the Hollow Champions. The Hollow Champions can now speak, which means their potential for being used to bring out the flaws or bitter aspects of each character is more readily available further into the story. And of course, we’ve introduced the main antagonist of Astor, and coupling his presence and dynamic with Zelda’s insecurities. While his intentions of needing Zelda for something is clear, his motivations and backstory remain a mystery as of yet, the only true clue we have so far being some sort of connection to eggbot. 
I didn’t get any big asks or comments about Part 2 so I’m going to assume that it was mostly well received (although I will note that I promise I’m going to flesh out Revali to be more than he has been presented as of yet, this is just the very very start of this development don’t you worry your feather loving butts) that being said, you should totally critique me or give me your opinions or comments. I’d love to hear them! Although, keep in mind that I am restraining my rewrite to the guidelines already said, so don’t get mad at me for not killing off all the Champions or something. Thaaat’s a rewrite for another time. So yeah if you reblog you get a little kiss from me because believe it or not I spent a lot of time trying to rewrite an entire storyline while keeping it’s tone and integrity intact. So thanks much <3
Okie dokie then chaps! Let us finally delve into Urbosa lesbian vibes, a zest of Zelink angst, rants about pacing, and a couple tablespoons of Astor backstory, all starting in the latest stage of Chapter 3: The Road Home, Besieged 
So right of the bat, big problem here. This Chapter follows directly after the events of Korok Forest, so you assume that maybe “The Road Home” refers to the team, going home, back to the castle, to tell King Rhoam what’s up. But...that’s apparently not the case. 
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So this entire stage, firstly, it brushes over any scenes where Zelda, Link or the other Champions might talk to King Rhoam about the Master Sword, or the Deku Tree, or...hmm what else happened last stage that might be interesting to see—oh yEAH HOW ABOUT that mysterious magic guy that tried to kill Zelda and was going off about the future and stuff?? That guy that wielded a bunch of dark magic and malice looking stuff and, uh yeah, you’d think it might be important and interesting to see the King’s take on was is essentially a wanted traitor to the crown who may or may not be leading the entire movement for the Calamity’s uprising. But nope, no one asks questions, no one says anything or has interesting conversations that reveal stuff about the plot. It's just….just all about Zelda and ooooOOooo she can’t awaken her powers oh no what’s a gal to do!
And I do mean that quite literally, this entire stage is all centered around two scenes with Zelda. The first, an admittedly narratively important scene of Zelda having a quick flashback about eggbot after he sings her a song, but it lasts for five seconds. And the second, being a pep talk with Urbosa as Link eats rocks in the background. For the majority of this stage, it’s all focused on Zelda, and pacing wise, it does virtually nothing to progress the narrative/plot forward.
And on paper, there’s nothing wrong with that! Hell, people read entire fanfictions dedicated to character development and relationships that have absolutely no external plot. Having a scene dedicated to just character development is completely fine, it’s something that’s pretty common and even encouraged to an extent. The problem arises when you remember that this is a story being told through the medium of a video game. 
Now, I am going to try and  breeze by this because, similar to Age of Calamity, I have to also construct this post with pacing that keeps my audience engaged, while progressing with my core narrative and story. But I highly encourage you to watch through this video by hello future me (On Writing: How to Master Pacing) because a lot of what I know about this I’ve picked up from his videos, and if you’re a writer or just someone who thinks storytelling is cool, it’s a great guide to the art of pacing.
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Anyhow. There are two levels of pacing within a story. There is the small type of pacing, like for the structure of a singular scene. And there is the pacing of the overall core narrative, how the larger beats of the entire story is revealed. Good pacing for your core narrative is about whether the reader feels like they are getting closer to the big thing, the big climax or answer or promise of satisfaction. The smaller type of pacing, for your singular scenes, focuses on that timing between how close you get to achieving new information, this refers to  your slow and fast pacing, tension versus rapid action.  
So, overall the rule of thumb is: the amount of time you invest into your smaller scenes, even put together, that must correlate with a big enough payoff in the core narrative. That’s what good pacing is. (And that’s why people make stuff like the Three Act Structure to help visualize this pacing process but obviously other forms of pacing guidelines exist like the Five and Seven Act Structures but that’s too complicated for this Nintendo Game anyhow that’s just some educational flavour for ya to impress your highschool English Teacher I guess) 
So knowing that, the question now is: Does The Road Home, Besieged contribute good pacing to the story? This is going to be my excuse for changing up other later scenes in the game, so when I mention pacing and narrative again, remember this. The time spent playing for thirty minutes, minimum, in the game, to only be paid off by two lines of character development isn’t good pacing. So the answer is “no.” 
Delving as long an amount of time as thirty minutes, means that pretty much everytime a stage is complete, you must introduce new substantial progress to your story. A game like this just doesn’t have time to waste it’s valuable cutscenes on character development alone. There’s an even further wrench in the issue when you consider you also need to account for sidequests, so you could really be forcing your player to go through hours of gametime before you introduce new details in the story. 
Obviously it’s not always gonna be cut and dry like that—sometimes you have to account for how enjoyable the gameplay is, and sometimes the amount of character development offsets any lack of narrative development—but for the majority of stages I’m gonna change, they all suffer this pacing problem. In a game that's entire story hinges on these cutscenes, bad pacing is just something it doesn’t have time for.
Anyhow anyhow anyhow, I got to get my dose of serotonin by talking about pacing writing structure and stuff and blah blah, so now I shall grace you with the changes that address these problems that would theoretically lead to vast improvement. I gave you this reasoning and backstory to writing because I am making hella changes, to hopefully make the experience more “poggers,” which is something the cool kids say these days if you didn’t know. 
Firstly, timeline wise this stage is gonna take place directly after the Korok Forest battle. The gang is returning home from the battle, with Link, the new wielder of the Master Sword, along with this new information regarding a certain Astor character. 
We open the same way it does in game, focusing on Zelda’s face, before the frame is suddenly blocked by the pommel of the Master Sword. A wordless way to express how the sudden revelation of Link being the hero has forced its way into Zelda’s mind, great use of camera Koei Tecmo 10 outta 10
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Now I don’t want to immediately jump into Zelda’s “oh poor me I can’t awaken my powers” dialogue because—and this is something even Breath of the Wild is guilty of—This game seems to forget that there are other characters besides Zelda. It’s marketed towards kids, sure, but I assure you that kids playing this game have a longer attention span than 2 minutes. You don’t need to keep reminding the audience every single scene about how Zelda is anxious about her powers. It gets redundant, you waste the audience’s time, and therefore you waste your own time, because you could have been using that precious screen time to develop some other thing further.  So anyhow, goes a bit like this. 
Zelda’s walking, the Master Sword comes into frame. Zelda looks down at the ground but keeps walking, but you can tell from her expression that she’s troubled. Don’t need to waste time on dialogue for her here, show don’t tell, we need to make the most of the scene here. Camera is still on Zelda, but the focus blurs shifts from Zelda to the Champions behind her. We can start with Mipha, I don’t have my heart set heavily on any specific dialogue, but I want her to say something along the lines of “how proud she is of Link” and what an honor it will be to fight by the side of not just her dear friend, but also someone selected by the goddess to be the hero. Subtextually, I want her to say this in a tone that suggests that she doubts the need for her to be here at all. She’ll say something like “He’s grown so…” glances up at Link who's just walking ahead, “...so much stronger than I could ever imagine. [Something Something] His power has grown so much over the course of a few days, more than I have achieved in a lifetime.” She looks down, but she still has a sweet smile. 
Now I’m doing this because I want to develop further this plot line of “getting stronger” that Age of Calamity sets up but never does anything with. Remember how in Chapter 2, Mipha asks Daruk to train with her to get stronger? I really like the possibilities of this arc with Mipha as it can not only parallel with her feelings for Link, but also make her character better as an individual. Mipha wants to get stronger so that she can protect Link, but now she thinks that Link’s already growing stronger to an extent that she might not be needed. She’s not jealous of Link, nor does she wish him to be weaker, she simply wants to be more than she already is. This is literally echoing her words that she left her father, about how leaving the Domain and experiencing new challenges would be “good for her.” So I wanna run with it. The dialogue here establishes Mipha’s motivation to grow stronger, almost equivalent to a rivalry of sorts. 
So after Mipha says this, Revali scoffs and butts in. Again, I’m not too set on any particular dialogue here, just something like “Hmph! Well, I don’t know about that. Seems to me all that’s happened is some magic sword gave the knight an ego boost. Blade’s only as strong as the little Hylian who wields it, and—based on my own extended experience and professional observations of course—I’ve yet to see this ‘stronger’ boy that you speak of.” Another camera pan to Link a ways in front of them. “If you ask me, hero or no, that knight is still exactly the same as I first met him.”
Revali places a wing on his chest dramatically. “Perhaps if you’re truly keen on seeing growth in skill and strength, Mipha, you’d do well to—”
“Flattering of an offer as that may be, Revali,” Urbosa interjects, “But I think Mipha might find it difficult to observe growth from one of the shortest Rito in Hyrule.”
Cue laughter from others or snickering or something. We just need some banter to add a bit more flavour to the characters. Revali can do a little huff and cross his wings or flip his scarf or something. But then Urbosa continues. 
“Although...he is right about one thing.” Urbosa looks straight ahead. “A sword does not alter a hand, just as strength does not alter character.” She puts a hand on Mipha’s shoulder. “Grow as he might, there is no doubt in my mind that he is the same boy as he’s always been.” Urbosa looks up in the direction of Zelda. “Whether you realize it or not.”
Ok so, scene’s not done yet, BUT quick gush on the dialogue flow here. I’m trying to establish parallels in these character perspectives based on the flow of conversation. We started with Mipha who, like I said, wished to grow stronger along with Link. This flows into Revali who also has a similar parallel as he wishes to grow above Link’s shadow. But the distinction between Mipha and Revali is that Mipha think’s Link’s strength is earned, and Revali thinks he cheated, gaining authority through a magic sword, and not through merit and skill. Thus, leading to Revali’s perspective of Link being exactly the same as he’s always been, he believes the sword doesn’t change anything. Urbosa then speaks, because she thinks exactly the same thing. However, her distinction is that Link is the same as he’s always been: a determined young boy earned his place and cares for his friends. Then she looks to Zelda who, as we know, will develop a perspective that contradicts this. So you get it? This scene is like 20 seconds long but it already mirrors nearly all the character parallels and perspective, that’s why the flow of dialogue is important. And I know half of you probably think these kinds of details are a stretch but I promise you it’s not, just look at any movie or show ever and I guarantee you can find similar stuff there too. Ok moving on moving on— 
Urbosa looks up at Zelda, comments her, “He’s the same boy, whether you realize it or not” piece of dialogue. Camera shifts back to Zelda and Link, who, idk if I mentioned this, but in the scene there’s enough distance between the Champions and Zelda and Link that the Champions can speak without the other two listening. So they didn’t hear any of this. 
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So the camera is back on Zelda, and now we can get her “How can I…..If I am unable to awaken my inner power….” line. Eggbot senses her sadness, does his little cheer up dance, Zelda gets a flashback.
One small change I wanna make to this flashback: Instead of just a baby Zelda going “nighty-night” I want there to ALSO be a figure in the background behind eggbot wearing a silk royal blue dress. And said woman has blonde hair and she’s by the table back there. We don’t have to show her face or anything because Nintendo hates that. Just place the woman somewhere in the back somewhere
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Also possibly you could add the shadow of another figure by the doorway, maybe? It would serve good continuity purposes for the plot points that I’m telling, but that part is not as necessary. I just need at least the woman there. 
Then Zelda is like “I remember you” to eggbot and all that and blah blah… Now, instead of Impa offscreen just yelling “enemy ahead!” I just want it to be a full on ambush. Not like a major one, but just enough where the group is surprised a bit. Maybe on the cliffs above, a lizalfo throws a boomerang, or a bokoblin shoots and arrow, or even just throws a rock. I don’t really care. I just need this to happen because…
As soon as this danger is presented, Link turns around to grab Zelda’s hand and they start running again. And he can like use his body to try and shield her a bit, I need it to parallel how he acted during Chapter 1 on the road to the Royal Tech Lab. However, this parallel has one important distinction because…
Zelda rips he grip from Link’s after a moment. “You don’t need to coddle me!” She says, or something along those lines. “Y-You...You’re the hero aren’t you! I’m perfectly fine, you don’t need to spend your precious time playing babysitter to me.” In the distance, a horde of monsters is beginning to form. Zelda looks between the monsters and Link’s Master Sword, her expression unreadable. “Well? Just...just go do what you need to do.” Link hesitates, looking between her, and the approaching monsters. Zelda speaks more sternly now, “Go!” So Link, not one to disregard an order from the Princess, gives one last look to Zelda before setting off towards the monsters. Maybe Zelda can take a deep breath to steady herself after he leaves, but as soon as Link unsheathes his sword, the metal glistening in the setting sunlight, it cuts immediately to gameplay. Start battle. 
For essays’ purposes this is the part where I explain why this is better than the original. So here’s my reasoning:
Uhhh, it just is. :3
Ok but seriously, I’ve already talked a tone about why the pacing and dialogue flow is better than the original. But also this scene doesn’t just say “Ooo Zelda is sad about her powers,” because that’s not interesting. Like I said, it’s redundant information. What is interesting is see how characters deal with that internal conflict and how it affects their relationships. AKA Zelda’s relationship with Link, who now basically embodies the success that she’s been working so hard towards but never achieved, is deteriorating a bit. I wanted to get that sense of the Zelda that we see in Breath of the Wild because all things considered, they should be roughly the same character.
So that’s that, you fight the battle, the Hollows show up a bit, so insert “dark evil Champion” dialogue because if you’re gonna use the evil clone trope might as well use it to the fullest. Then you fight the Talus and hurray horrah the day is saved. 
Then we have that iconic Urbosa motherly pep talk to Zelda as Link eats rocks in the background. Now honestly, I’m not that big a fan of the first half of the dialogue, so I wanna change it into something more interesting. But the rest of the beats and camera work go roughly the same. 
Zelda: “Link is...so much stronger now”
Urbosa: “‘And yet I have not.’ I presume that’s what you’re thinking, hmm?”
Zelda: “Well it’s true, isn’t it? More and more, monsters have been appearing around Hyrule. It is a sign that the Calamity draws near. So...there isn’t much time. And still, no sign of my power awakening.”
Urbosa: *sighs* “Little bird…”
Zelda cuts her off, in an attempt to change topics: “Why do you call me that?”
Urbosa: “Hmm?”
Zelda: “Little bird...I feel like I’ve heard it before. Why do you call me that?”
Urbosa, after a beat looks off in the distance or something: “A long time ago, my dear friend would call me to the palace, or perhaps invite herself over to mine, [she chuckles] ...and she would talk with me all day, and ask me to gaze upon her little bird with her. Her dearest daughter...a princess”
Zelda: “You mean my…”
Urbosa just smiles with a soft nod: “Back then, times were a bit different. The destiny that you have was still upon the Queen, who worked day and night to refine her powers and fulfill her destiny. In just a few short years, I went from being friends with a Queen, to friends with the destined sealer of the Calamity.”
Another pause, before Urbosa speaks again: “But...she was still the same woman I had grown with. Still the same loving mother who spoke about her little bird with joy. She had not changed one bit.”
Urbosa: “Even when your mother passed, her loving smile was there until the very end. She always loved you—believed in you, Zelda. She had great hope, great faith that her daughter would grow into the beacon of light Hyrule needed. That even with her gone, you would spread your wings and fly, because you were just that amazing to her.” *Urbosa puts her hands on Zelda’s shoulders.*
Urbosa: “Destiny did not change your mother’s love, just as it does not change Link’s courage, or your value.” *the camera can pan to Link eating rocks now*
Urbosa looks directly at Zelda now: “Look how hard we’ve all worked to get this far, how hard you have worked to get here. While we may grow in strength, in that regard, we’re all one in the same.”
Zelda: “...I….well…”
Urbosa: “What did the Great Deku Tree say? There is no need to fret princess.”
Urbosa: “Our faith, Link’s, your mother’s, it’s all as strong as ever. And everyday, with every moment that you travel towards your destiny, it just grows. It is always with us. So believe in that, have hope, yet, little bird.” *Eggbot can scurry up and make cute noises here next to Zelda*
Urbosa: “I know, you are where you need to be. You must accept that too.”
Zelda: “...”
Zelda gives a solemn nod: “Thank you, Urbosa.”
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So that’s that scene! Don’t let the length fool you, it’s technically even shorter than the original scene in Age of Calamity. So why is it, in my opinion, better? Because for one, we actually get an insight into Zelda’s mom and Urbosa’s relationship, something that was PROMISED To us but never given and I’m still a bit salty about it. Anyhow, in addition to just getting some lore details, that relationship between the Queen and Urbosa is important for this scene because, just like Urbosa spells out, it’s in direct parallel with Link and Zelda. 
Before the Queen suddenly got sick and died, she was destined to seal the Calamity. But she didn’t let that destiny change her, she was still the same loving mother to the end. Now that is something that Zelda needs to realize about Link, as his newly acquired destiny doesn’t change who he was before, the knight who cares for her and wishes to protect her. Zelda needs to realize he’s the same and that she can still trust and confide in him. Hence, that’s why this mom backstory is in this scene and not somewhere else, because it serves to the narrative but also more impactfully to the character development. 
The dialogue could probably be polished a bit more but come on, not half bad for an improvement yeah? So that concludes Chapter—
SIKE we’re not done yet. We still have to move into the entire point of this stage, the road home, to the castle. 
So, badabing badaboom, I’m adding an entirely new scene from scratch right here at the end, because it is VITAL that I set up something new about the story, as a sort of clincher. So anyhow 
Zelda is alone with her father, let’s set it in the royal library (Intact, not ruined, of course) because we don’t see enough of that location and it’s really cool. So Zelda is briefing her dad about the events in Korok Forest and on the journey back home. I know I always gush about cinematography but it can’t be fully appreciated since I’m….writing,,, this, BUT I think it might be fun if the side shots of Zelda have her background be some bookcases of the library, maybe half bookcases and the other half the ornate walls. Then the background for the King’s shots is the full symmetry of the elegant staircases.
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[And if you needed the specific reasoning for that, because it makes camera shots more fun. Like when Zelda says something that aids in her scholarly side, the camera angle can change slightly where the bookcases take up more of the frame, and then when the King’s will takes more power, then the book cases can be angled a bit more out of frame. And then the symmetry of the King by the staircase is a way to show his higher power dynamic to her, and contrasts well with Zelda’s shots since the bookcases are dark and the stone is lighter, so on a meta level is also makes it easier for the audience to understand where they are. Shot composition is fun ok, and that’s not even getting into color theory (Thinks about Baby Driver and LaLaLand....even videogames like Undertale and Hollow Knight have such wonderful shot composition and use of color theory hhhhh love it)]
Ok so Zelda’s briefing the King in the library, she’s standing while he’s sitting at a desk. There’s maybe two or four Royal Guards on the staircase entrances, but for the most part, they’re alone. You can tell that this meeting between them has been going on for a bit now, as from Zelda’s dialogue, she’s retelling events midway through the story. 
The King is flipping through some paperwork, not really looking Zelda in the eyes. She continues speaking. 
“And so...with the malice cleared and the monsters being dealt with, Link and I made our way into the heart of Korok Forest.”
The King hums a response, flipping through another page. “And this is when Link pulled out the Sword that Seals the Darkness then, I presume.”
Zelda paused, as of thinking of how to phrase her next words. “Not exactly. I...we both encountered someone beforehand. A man, with a pale face, and dark hair and robes, and he had the power to control malice, using a strange object in one of his hands.” 
Rhoam stops writing in his journal or whatever. He doesn’t look up, but the sudden stop he makes is obvious. Zelda notices, but continues. 
“He talked about...the Calamity, and my birthday...destiny, and the future….I’m not quite sure I can remember his intentions word for word. But he did introduce himself as—“
“Astor…” Zelda and the King say simultaneously. The King has fully perked up now, looking at Zelda. She’s pleased to see a reaction from him. The King rises from his chair, and starts pacing a bit, stroking his beard thoughtfully like the asshole he is. 
“So you know him then? This Astor man? Who is he, father? What does he—“
“Were you alright? Did he hurt you, or mention anything else?”
Zelda pauses for a moment before shaking her head, as if the concern he was expressing was uncharacteristic. “N-No. No, I’m fine, and Link was there. During the battle, as Link fought him off, that was when the sword was pulled. Then Astor fled, or...” Zelda pauses for a beat, “retreated...he expressed his wish to speak with me again.”
Another beat of silence, as Rhoam gets up, hands clasped behind his back. “He used to work at this very palace.” The shot is now directly on Rhoams back, as he faces a bookcase, although it’s clear that he’s just deep in thought, and not just staring at books. Rhoam is in third column of the shot (he’s to the right, not in the center) 
“A trusted advisor. Someone gifted with foresight, who many years ago, had first predicted the coming Calamity.” Cut to shot of Rhoams face, the camera being by the bookcase, so that we see Rhoam’s expression and Zelda’s.
“In truth, I thought him dead. For the last time I saw him alive—truly, truly alive—was ten long years ago...” The shot goes back to the original establishing shot, of Rhoam facing away from the camera, towards the bookcase, he’s standing to the right, hands still clasped behind his back.
“...when your mother still graced this earth.”
From left frame, a younger Astor walks up and stands beside Rhoam. He runs his fingers along the books. Rhoam looks to his left, as if he is seeing Astor. Camera cuts to Astor’s right, as if looking at him from Rhoam’s perspective. He continues brushing his fingers against the spines of the books, before he finds the one he’s looking for. Pulling it out, he opens the book, flipping through its pages, before giving a genuine smile. Cut back to wide angle behind them. With the book, Astor starts walking back out left frame, but this time the camera follows him. Filter fade to a memory tint as the camera pans right to left
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[when the camera fades fully into the Astor memory, the figures can have that silhouetted effect like you see in botw. Cause I know Nintendo hates making new character models for some reason.] 
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So if it wasn’t clear already, even though the memory filter doesn’t come immediately, Astor isn’t actually there, but it’s just a flashback. I’m a sucker for merges, which is something this game and botw NEVER do which bugs me because there are so many creative ways you could introduce flashbacks without just doing “ooOooOoo fade to sepia filter and then oooOOooOOO we fade back to reality and no time has passed.” I apologize if my explanation of the camera doesn’t make sense as it’s hard without much visual aid, but hopefully it makes sense so far. Anyhow! Let’s continue.
We’re now fully immersed in this memory, but King Rhoam’s voice still narrates overhead. 
Astor brings the book to one of the desks in the library, where a woman sits writing something onto paper. News flash, it’s the queen. Astor hands her the book and starts speaking about something, although you can tell the tone of their conversation is light, almost akin to Zelda rambling about Sheikah Technology. The Queen laughs about something unheard, as Astor continues ranting about something, his hands moving to like a professor giving a lecture. 
Rhoam Narration: “When he had first predicted the Calamity, things were much more hopefully for our kingdom. As although his foresight granted him only glimpses and fragments of a future, he was almost certain that with the Guardians, and the strength of your mother’s power, our victory would be absolute.”
Scene changes to the Queen walking down a corridor, Astor is leaning against the wall by a window. 
Rhoam Narration: “He and your mother would often work together tirelessly to study the ancient arts, to make the most of the powers given by the goddess.”
The Queen has walked up to Astor now. She crouches down and gestures to her left, the side not yet seen by the camera.
Rhoam Narration: “In fact…”
The camera changes to focus to where the Queen was looking towards—a young Zelda, crouched behind her mother’s dress, stares up at Astor. 
Rhoam Narration: “I would not be surprised if you found within yourself, a memory of such.”
I would prefer if you could see the expressions of Astor (giving Zelda not a smile, but not really a frown or anything rude either) and young Zelda. But I guess it can also just be silhouettes too cause again, Nintendo hates giving us younger character models outside of first person POV stuff. Anyhow. 
The scene fades, the light from the window dimming as everything darkens.
Rhoam Narration: “I often times wish we could go back to such a time, when victory and pride swam in every corner of this castle.  But of course…”
The scene brightens again, although not as bright as before. It’s the exact same corridor with the large window, but now it’s raining. A young Zelda stands alone in front of it, looking outside.
Rhoam Narration: “Such a time did end…”
We now cut to a new scene, King Rhoam is walking down a hall, the camera’s perspective is of a bird’s eye view, like we’re peering in from outside a window. We can see the shadow of Astor chasing after him, as he starts speaking frantically about something, not quite, but almost to the point of shouts. 
Rhoam Narration: “After your mother died, the visions of the future shifted drastically. No longer was there glimpses of rolling fields and shimmering skies, but instead, of rubble, red earth, and death.”
You can now more clearly hear the words coming out of Astor’s mouth. He is telling something about failure, and souls, and the Calamity to the King’s ear. He’s still walking forward.
Rhoam Narration: “He was adamant that our demise was now coming faster than ever, and that without your mother, we were doomed. That even you, should you take up your mother’s mantle, could not save everyone.”
Astor: “I’m telling you Your Majesty, if you go down this path, there is no going back.”
King Rhoam: “There is no other choice, we are moving forward.”
Astor: “I don’t think you quite understand the true gravity of the fate you’re choosing for yourself. It is a guarantee that you, me, and countless others shall die.”
King Rhoam: “I don’t want to hear it.”
Astor: “And of course, there are a multitude of possibilities, but the end result is the same.”
Astor: “Do you have a preference, perhaps? Crushed by rubble? Suffocation under ash?”
Rhoam’s tone is deadly: “Stop.”
Astor: “I’ve seen fire too. I’m not yet quite sure the exact circumstances that lead to flame appearing and spreading so quickly, but rest assured that if you—”
King Rhoam: “Stop.” 
Astor: “If you saddle someone else with this duty I am absolutely certain that you and I will—” 
King Rhoam, voice not shouting, but still with a booming intensity: “Just like you were so certain of our victory 10 years ago?”
Astor’s face darkens. He’s silent for a moment, collecting his words before practically spitting the first articulation: “...That, future, was the one that would come to be if Her Majesty was alive. If you’re so unsatisfied with my departed wisdom you can go ahead and flail around with destiny alone. You think I choose for these events to happen? You think I lie when I saw I want what’s best for this kingdom—”
King Rhoam: “What’s best for you.”
An ugly pause.
King Rhoam: “It is decided, Seer. It’s time you accept this. My wife is dead. That is the truth. Thus the role of sealing the Calamity shall pass to my daughter. She will work to awaken her own ability. It will be her duty to save us.”
Astor half laughs: “A child?! Surely you don’t need the supernatural to see how foolish that is.”
King Rhoam’s voice is even more stern: “You are living proof that the future is not absolute. Therefore I...must place all belief in her ability.”
The King walks away, leaving Astor alone. Weirdly, he smiles. Perhaps to mask some other emotion.  
After another moment, Astor yells to the King: “I’ll fix this! Alone if I must!” He’s chuckling as he shakes his head. “Your useless faith may cost many lives, but even so mark my words, I will fix this.”
The King looks back, but says nothing, his expression unreadable. He continues forward, leaving Astor alone chuckling, or perhaps something in between chuckling and crying to himself.  
Rhoam Narration: “We haven’t spoken since that day. I simply left him to his devices. If he was so determined to find another way to stop the Calamity, then who was I to stop him. I doubt my word could have swayed his mind regardless.
We’re now looking at a room, the camera is just by the doorway, looking at an office, circular and domed. It’s stone brick walls are covered in parchment and ripped books, covered in symbols and frantic writing. An old Sheikah tapestry hangs crudely on the left wall, and the window on the right seems to tint grey, or even a deepest crimson. Centerframe, is the back of Astor, robe hanging just above the paper ridden floor. He is flipping through something on his desk. 
Rhoam Narration: “Fixated as he was on the perfect future that you mother might have led, I still had hope that with time, he might still assist you with your destiny one day.”
The camera slowly comes closer to Astor. We can see more clearly the type of stuff that sprawls the papers and books and diagrams across his office. Some depict stars and constellations, and even a few notes on Ancient Technology, although in a noticeably cleaner font. However, as the camera moves close and closer to Astor, the papers and books depict only one clear topic: the aura of death that comes only with necromancy. 
Rhoam Narration: “It seems…”
Astor finally reacts to whatever he was doing on his desk. You don’t see his eyes, but as he fully turns around to face the camera, you see his smile, along with him holding a dark orb of unknown energy. It hovers in his hand. 
Rhoam Narration: “...I was mistaken.” 
The camera cuts to a wide angle, looking at Astor from behind a stack of books on his desk. The stack of books on Astor’s desk brighten in color (from the memory dull filter), until the scene fully fades back into the Royal Library. The camera is now focused on a similar stack of books on the desk behind Zelda, where Rhoam was working before. 
Zelda is still looking at her father, who is still turned away. Now, he turns back around to face her.
“He had disappeared completely one day, so it was my understanding that whatever he was working on killed him. However, if he is truly back as you say…”
Rhoam walks closer to Zelda, close enough that he might have put a hand on her shoulder, but his arms stay behind his back.
“It is in your utmost interest to prove him wrong. I know not what he plans on doing, but it would be wise to stop him before he does.”
Rhoam turns away now, pacing back to the otherside of the desk. “But, your more important priority is unlocking your powers, understand? Now more than ever, is not the time to get distracted.”
Zelda, taking this all in, takes a deep breath. She then nods at him. “I understand...Father.”
After a moment, the King makes a motion as if to dismiss her. She starts to walk away, her thoughts churning in her head, heart thumping to the same beat as her echoing footsteps. Suddenly, Rhoam calls, 
“Zelda.” It’s not a question, but the tone is asked like one.
She turns back, looking at him, expectantly. Rhoam only stares at her, an uncharacteristic moment of uncertainty for him. The words he wants to form seem stuck in his throat, until finally, he lets out a quiet breathe through his nose, before simply saying:
“You must.”
Zelda can only frown, her shoulder’s slumping slightly, as she ducks her head and leaves.
- - - - - - 
And that’s that! That’s the complete end of Chapter 3. So tune in next time for Chapter 4, including a new slight but important story changes, Yiga husbands, and shocking turns of events.
Edit: I forgot that posts with link’s dont show up in tag results so a rb is appreciated :p
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ashenpages · 3 years
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Current Fic Ideas & Emoji Voting Key
Quick disclaimer that I’m a romance writer in all aspects of the term, so most of my fics will contain mature content. Engage at your own risk, you know the rules, you’re responsible for curating your own experience of the internet, blah blah blah. This post serves as a current mock up of fic ideas I’m either actively working on or considering working on next. You can drop me an ask about any of them, or just vote via the emoji combo I’ve assigned them.
Voting lets me know you’re excited about an idea and makes it more likely I’ll actually work on it. You can vote anytime, there’re no deadlines or winner announcements, just me gauging your interest by what I see in my ask box most often.
You can also ask me about the original stuff I’m working on currently. The current WIPs are Medusa centric and the emoji for them is: 🐍
- Lupin: 🤑🤠💍  These are all oneshot ideas, between 5-15K each. If you want to vote for a specific idea, send me the emojis and the number of the idea. 
Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon always play rock-paper-scissors after a big heist to decide who’ll give the group a striptease, and who will get showered with money. Based on a piece of fanart that is basically this sequence of events in a 4koma (except in their version Jigen loses and in mine, it’s Goemon). (written, just needs editing)
Zenigata cuffs Lupin four times, and Lupin steals his heart. Very NSFW conclusion. Zenigata is the most caring lover you’ll ever find. Lupin is as thirsty as usual and twice as intense. (written, just needs editing)
Jigen protects Lupin from poison darts during a treasure hunt in an Aztec temple, and Lupin nurses him back to help--forcibly, since Jigen is a horrible patient. Born from my desire to spoil Jigen and talk about what ridiculous domestic husbands these two are. (WIP)
Born from the idea that Goemon and Zenigata probably couldn’t be an item, my brain decided to come up with how I could write for them. Goemon’s teaching an ikebana class as part of his training, and Zenigata shows up as a student on forced recreational leave for his health from the ICPO. Zenigata wins the samurai’s heart through flowers. But what happens when Lupin and Jigen find out? (Only good sexy things, I promise. These beans are in a healthy polycule--be gay, do crimes)
Trans!Lupin and Trans!Jigen premise: Jigen cares for Lupin after the master thief has top surgery, since Jigen has Been There and Done That. Caring, sweet, and a little sexy. Lupin is a much better patient than Jigen.
- Sonic Vampire Novelist Coffee Shop AU: 📚☕💐 
Shadow is an immortal vampire who has seen the world change for the worse too many times. These days it feels like he only lives for his coffee dates with Rouge, another immortal who loves each new era they encounter, warts and all. He has to admit that the book series she got him into speaks to him, at least. If someone in this era can understand him without meeting him, it can’t all be bad. But he hardly expected the goofy blue barista at the new coffee place to understand him the way those books do.
This is a novel length romcom romp with some big feelings about what it means to watch as things change, grow, and die. Expect lots of Big gothic feelings from this one, emotionally charged kissing, and overly-adoring sex. But also expect shenanigans from everyone in the coffee shop, which include Rouge, Amy, Tails, Knuckles, Cream, and more.
- Sonic Blazamy: 💖🌸💎
Amy Rose has been in love with Sonic for a while.
Or has she?
When the Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, and Silver are trapped as the fuel sources for Doctor Eggman’s newest evil scheme, Amy teams up with Blaze, Rouge, and Cream to save them. With Sonic out of the picture and Amy fulfilling his role, was she ever really in love with him? Or did she just want to be like him?
This is a novel length epic romance with lots of competent women and lots of romantic Blazamy content. Expect flowery hopes and dreams, badass self-actualization, and glancing hand touches that give way to cuddly and sweet sex.
- Persona 5: 🗡🍛☕
After bringing down the Metaverse twice, Ryuji didn’t think graduating high school and figuring out what to do with his life would be so hard. Akira’s back in town, and the gang’s more-or-less all in Tokyo, but everyone else seems to have a plan while Ryuji just floats. How’s he supposed to change the world when he’s not a phantom thief anymore?
This is a novel length fic that addresses how powerless one can feel being just one person in the face of all the corrupted systems and bigotry the world has to offer. It’s about holding on to what you believe in, working through the doubt, and fighting your way to a better tomorrow with the power you do have. The whole gang is queer, featured relationships being Mako x Ann, Ryuji x Akira, Futaba & Yusuke as platonic life partners. Akira is polyamorous and omnisexual, Futaba’s asexual and aromantic while Yusuke is demisexual and very romantic, Makoto’s a lesbian, Ann and Ryuji are bi, and Haru’s pansexual, demisexual, and aromantic. They’re one giant band of queer Phantom Thieves, and even if they’re not really doing the Metaverse thing anymore, they’re still gonna save the world!
Also, I’m gonna make Makoto not a cop. That super didn’t age well. Zenkichi and his boss can work on making them better/abolishing them for other better organizations.
- Hades Game: ❤️‍🔥💀
Oneshot. I just really need to elaborate on the threesome you can have with them in-game, okay? Healthy and canon poly relationships are so few and far between, so often I have to do a ton of groundwork to explain why it’s working in the fic, but NOT WITH THESE KIDS!
Get ready for Meg helping Zag and Than be better at expressing their feelings, lots of kissing, and probably pegging.
- Castlevania Animation Trevor/Sypha/Alucard: 🧛🏰🛌 
Castlevania gave Alucard a threesome last season, and I just really need S4 to give me him being taken care of by his partners. They’re probably not going to give it to me, so I’ll need to do it myself. This is just an everybody loves Alucard oneshot, with the gang’s signature banter (to an extent), Sypha being sexy, and Trever being remarkably sincere. This fic is gonna feel like that Ann Hathaway picture with Trevor kissing Alucard and Sypha holding the end of Trevor’s whip while she leans her head on Alucard’s shoulder adoringly.
- Devil May Cry Nico/Lady/Trish: 💋✨😈 
Nico’s gay, okay? Like really, really gay. And Lady’s bi and not into men who make her pay bills, but very into women who make amazing guns for her and demonesses with hearts who fight by her side. Trish is ace, but loves people and is pretty attached to Lady at this point. Plus it’s cute when Lady blushes and says nice things like they’re insults. I don’t have super solid ideas for them yet, and I envision these more like a polycule where Lady’s with Nico and with Trish but they’re not with each other more than seeing it as a threesome, but who knows what might happen. This is probably 1-2 oneshots depending on ideas, but might turn into a series of oneshots if people are interested (or I can’t control myself and inspiration strikes).
- Post FMA:B Blind Roy & No Alchemy Ed: 👀👑🙏
This is actually an old novel-length fic I wrote ages ago and didn’t post that didn’t turn out well because I was new to writing sex when I first wrote it. The plot is good, and is all about Roy learning to work with his blindness to reclaim his ambition of being Fuhrer and changing the system to something that actually cares for its people. He and Ed reconnect, fall into bed, and both set about working through their respective traumas about being “useless” having lost their sight/alchemy. They go to Xing as an ambassadorial party to offer Amestris’s collaboration on Al and May’s Alkahestry experiments--and uncover a plot that might threaten both kingdoms.
- Age of Calamity continuity Mipha x Revali: 🦚🐟💘
The first time Revali noticed Mipha, it was in the heat of battle. She stole his mark, taking them down with a flurry of quick blows from her spear. Violence rained from her like water--and then she healed him on her way to her next battle. No questions, no conditions, just pure kindness. The usual need to measure himself against those around him was quiet in her wake. And Revali couldn’t understand it. But how to get to know more about her? A fish and bird may fall in love, but where would they live?
This fic could be a oneshot or novel length depending on how far down the hole I fall. I need it to cover time, but it could be done in linked vignettes or with actually covering events in detail. I may elect to do a oneshot just to get it done and out of my system faster. So much fic to write, so little time.
Expect trans!Revali, polyamorous Zoras, scary competent Mipha, songbird Revali, love confessions that are made up entirely of berating Link for not loving Mipha the way she wants him to, and breaking these characters a little outside of their assigned roles in BotW and Age of Calamity. Background Link x Zelda, and Urbosa x Zelda’s Mom.
- Epic desert romance about Urbosa and Zelda’s mom: 🏜🏝⚡
I just think Urbosa should kiss women and Zelda’s mom should get more development and maybe a name or something. Also, lightning imagery/metaphors/play.
It also went way over my head that Riju wasn’t Urbosa’s daughter the first time I played BotW, so now I want to write about the Gerudo queen who refused to produce an heir. The Gerudo are fascinating and have a very interesting cutlure, but I think it could be examined from a nonbinary perspective that rejected pregnancy and wanting to find a husband. Not in like a hateful way, but in a way that examines if that’s really right for everyone. There’s that shop in town that sells Voe armor, after all. Maybe finding a husband and having children isn’t something you have to do if you don’t want to. And Urbosa really doesn’t want to.
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thegeminisage · 7 years
Text
zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it
aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it
i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;
omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!
aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot
AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all
oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food
ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm
topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...
haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?
ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL
went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...
ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang
i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...
ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3
swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense
"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you
ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember
hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady
omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo
lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg
ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/
i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!
aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks
LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying
wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL
jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map
i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys
oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge
oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it
oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!
uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE
ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml
awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):
ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out
oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless
tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked
ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............
i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions
but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so
i found the missing gerudo soldier!
"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES
theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao
OMFG LOL IT WORKED
dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao
nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;
LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS
this is so funny dkjfgh fck
urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY
im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around
ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?
NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME
i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all
at least i can get the chest i missed
lol and i cant save in here. perfect.
ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it
apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?
this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...
WAIT fuck i finally see the exit
ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.
master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok
fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny
i love it even his bones cracked
isn't what he used to be, apparently
wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows
and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong
maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him
ok google says to drop his things on his head
HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED
this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him
"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING
fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall
"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"
what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise
aaaand thunder helm retrieved
but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!
ah good her cell is empty!
lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear
oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!
urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!
also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?
aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her
(give it to meeeee)
ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn
ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez
FUCK YES HERE WE GO!
aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!
i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow
AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;
ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it
oh man. it's so big. it's so big
oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!
i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice 
okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far
i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck
oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo
LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"
thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements
geeeeez i just barely got it
oh EW that never gets any less gross
ohhh my god
"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E
oh my gOD?
she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!
and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ
i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like
he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda
and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin
where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh
or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him
when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!
oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back
do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?
anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms
oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost
LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus
lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from
my sand seal is also STUCK lol
ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!
omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY
i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god
nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho
huh...? she only asked for 1k...?
i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!
god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME
ooh this one is orange and green
FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED
holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!
ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes
i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"
which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but
i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief
ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck
anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick
of the desert. even worse than rain tbh
now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast
lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but
i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long
plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest
maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away
im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This
lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine
they are SO BIG
im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast
just. jesus christ. so BIG
ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*
or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao
lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain
whoa this tower has rock all over the top??
ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol
not the lost woods if i don't get lost!
lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here
aww rauru hillside...im sad
BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song
zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h
omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!
which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed
even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes
ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess
mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat
see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun
the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint
i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth
omg i found korok forest!!!
oh
there's my sword
said "oh" out loud
kinda wish the quest had been more, idk
but.
mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first
haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right
man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping
tbh i kinda miss her 
even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being
for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them
i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...
really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game
and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps
like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down
OH MY GOD
I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME
and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"
AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING
AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC
and i straight up burst into tears
"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning
and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker
oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down
idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised
and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods
ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck
oh god now he wants me to pull it again
what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?
i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ
okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!
oh my god it takes your LIFE?
and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet
i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........
ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.
there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too
im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn
I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!
LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream
i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!
oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??
oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him
sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again
aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them
they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;
tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day
i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?
ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??
lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see
aaah no it DOESN'T omg
well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?
ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones
me: already fast-traveling
Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted
fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men
LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on
they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before
I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT
IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST
ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD
she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link
more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again
her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise
it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T
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