#so if a funky little sandwich is what keeps me going then I will gladly buy it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moemoemammon · 3 years

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can we have the demon bros with an mc who's a horrible cook? (not solomon level bad though, but still pretty funky tasting.) however! they are capable of improving with practice. i'm a pretty bad cook myself so i have my eyes on this one 👁️👄👁️

MC is a Terrible Cook!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

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Lucifer

When Lucifer introduced you to the house's dinner-making rotation schedule, he expected that you might have a little bit of trouble. After all, you're now having to come up with a meal to serve the entire family once a week.

But what he didn't expect was for you to serve poison for dinner.

Maybe you were trying to appeal to the palates of demons? But although they eat strange things, that didn't mean they'd enjoy.... whatever it is you've put on the plate.

Lucifer also thought it might've been a fluke, until you REPEATEDLY offended their taste buds with the random concoctions you created in the kitchen. And you do so with such earnest that he can't bring himself to ask you to stay away from the oven at all costs-

"I've realized that asking you to adjust to an entirely new world of cuisine is a bit harsh of me, so I've decided to enroll you in RAD's cooking class. I think you'll find it useful, and... I look forward to eating what you make. Do your best."

Mammon

Mammon can't brag about being a five star chef or anything. Hell, he's tried serving cup noodles for dinner repeatedly. But that doesn't mean he doesn't know what tastes good, and your food? Yeah uh.... this ain't it, chief.

When you ask him to sample a new dish you've tried making, Mammon's filled with giddy pride. You're asking HIM to try it out, and not his brothers! That's his human! ✨

But now he sort of wishes you'd have asked someone else. What are you, Solomon?? Or maybe human food is just like that???? Well... it ain't as bad as Sol's, but it's still funky!

It takes everything for his dramatic ass not to spit out the mouthful of food right then and there. He can't when you look so hopeful-! Damn it, stop making your eyes sparkle so much!!!

"....Th-that's a pretty interestin' flavor ya got there, MC. Real uh.... unique! But if ya REALLY wanna make food that The Great Mammon likes, I'll just have to start teachin' ya! I ain't takin' no for an answer!"

Levi

It took a long while for Levi to actually taste your cooking, considering he spent most of his days in his room eating whatever he smuggled in. But one day, your cooking had the chance to change his life forever...

All he wanted was to recreate some TSL recipes with you! It should've been simple! It was only a cursed goat sandwich with cheese, and you were in charge of the tartare sauce!

Yet somehow... you've created something so foul, Levi is sure you've made a curse instead.... It emanates a darkness that rivals that of the Lord of Corruption himself-!!!

Okay, that's a biiiit of a stretch. But why is it so??bitter??? Uh... he probably should've asked if you could cook in the first place. Maybe a little practice wouldn't hurt, but how can he say that to your face??

"Th-that looks great, MC! But um... hey, why don't we do this every weekend? You know, trying to cook together? I can look up recipes so we can improve together! Ahaha..."

Satan

Satan is pretty bright, so it didn't take him long to realize he should start eating before dinner when it's your days to cook. Don't get him wrong, he's all for new experiences, but your food leaves much to be desired.

But he's not so cruel that he'd keep letting you get away with making food like that, so he tries helping you in the kitchen. That upgrades your cooking to something tolerable, at least?

Hey... wouldn't it be funny if you snuck your food into Lucifer's meal every night? Satan's sure he'd make a great face! Ooh, or maybe you should start preparing his coffee every morning?? Somehow, you even manage to make drinks taste completely unique!

Okay, maybe he shouldn't use you like that. How about you take advantage of his collection of cookbooks instead? He wouldn't mind if it means you'll come to his room more often.

"Why don't you pack Lucifer's lunch for tomorrow? I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you surprised him with a special meal of your choosing. And afterward, you and I could start prepping for dinner together. I'll show you the recipe I found for us. I think you'll like it."

Asmo

Asmodeus isn't one to hold his tongue, so the first time he tried your cooking... well.... We could say he's pretty conditioned to eating terrible things thanks to Solomon, so yours was somewhat okay!

But seriously, there's no way he can let his sweet little MC get away with such atrocities! He's GOT to help you out ASAP!

Asmo loves all things trendy and he's always staying on top of the new and popular foods, so he suggests making them with you! Every time something's trending on Devilgram, he'll make it with you! And he'll get some great pictures for his social, too!

It's a little tedious and he's not a fan of hard work, so there are days when he outright suggests going out for lunch instead. Teaching someone to cook is tiring, you know?

"Hm? O-oh, that's right. I'm still on my diet, so I probably can't eat whatever you're making. I know I know, a shame isn't it? As much as I'd love to, I just can't! But I'll gladly eat you instead, MC~! ❤️"

Beel

.................This should be illegal.

There's no way food can taste like this, right? It's got to be cursed. Or maybe you're playing a prank on him. Between you and Solomon, Beel has decided he won't even touch human world food with a 70 foot pole.

That being said, he loves you so he'll teach you how to make Devildom food instead. You can't mess up something if he's there to help you, right? Because Beel's starting to become wary of you when you enter the kitchen, and it's not good for his health...

Lucifer doesn't mind that though, since it keeps him out of the fridge in the middle of the night. The groceries have stayed in their places for three weeks straight! ✨

"You want to make a meal from home? Um.... I think Belphie's allergic to that, so why don't we make his favorite instead? I'll teach you, so let's go shopping. And we can get a snack on the way back, too."

Belphie

Belphie spends so much time sleeping, there are times he'll even eat in his sleep! It's a feat to behold. And we all know how it's nearly impossible to wake him up from his slumber...

Yet the first time he had your food, it was enough to make his eyes open. He had to make sure it was food he was eating, and not some kind of mystery slop Mammon put in front of him as a prank.

Wait, you made this...? Is Beel okay???? He's been eating this all this time?!?!!

Belphie doesn't like troublesome things like trying to teach you how to cook, but there's no way he'll let you abuse his brother any longer. He'll do his best... And besides, it's kind of cute watching you struggle cook.

"Hey, you know that's the sugar you're holding, and not salt? If we were cooking for Lucifer I'd let you go through with it, but I have to eat this, too. Here, let's just do it together, okay? I want you to learn well so you can make my favorite meals."

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