Dean / SPN - 1x03, 1x05
Dean ( Jensen ) love club: @jillmariej @deanwanddamons @deanwinchesterswitch @brilovesdeanwinchester @waywardbaby @spnfangirl1314 @shawnie74 @kwistowee @queenofallerdalehall @charred-angelwings @girlshunttoo @adoptdontshoppets @ddriverpicksthemusic @milo-winchester-4ever @wickedinspirations @quicklymybasement @jensensgotyoudean @lequisha @deansraspberrypie @thoughts-and-funnies @raidens-realm @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @eevvvaa @doublebill @avanatural @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @catnipster69
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1.05
-Bloody Mary!
-Jessica’s voice yelling Sam’s name in his trauma nightmare blends into Dean’s voice yelling his name in the car, his fingers on Sam’s neck and collarbone, to wake him. Sam’s head is tilted really far back on the seat so that his throat is exposed. He could have been curled up with his head in his arms, Dean could’ve shaken his shoulder. But no. Fingers on exposed neck, with only his neck and Dean’s fingertips sunlit. The sexual subtext is subtexting.
Sam is frequently depicted as tempting and in need of rescue like this.
-Sam always stands with his whole body facing Dean fig 4
-“what are you guys doing” Dean: “we had to go to the bathroom” ???
-this shot has Sam spotlit like the light of Dean’s life
-Dean is miffed that Sam won’t tell him about his dreams and didn’t laugh at his joke. He so consistently wants to take care of Sam.
-when the girl of the week begins telling her secret, “I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me, you know?” Dean’s eyes flick to Sam’s, and Sam stares at Dean for a long moment. He swallows and looks down and his nostrils flare before he looks back at her. He’s probably thinking about Jessica, whose death he feels responsible for. But he’s looking at Dean.
The most innocent interpretation is that he’s looking to Dean for support because he’s feeling guilty. And spn is nothing if not full of wholesome family innocence. Who else could he be thinking about that he loves in a way that scares him sometimes and it’s a secret?
-Dean asks Sam to blame him rather than himself for Jessica’s death. I wonder if he feels bad that he couldn’t stop it and prevent his little brother all this pain. Sam is so sincere that he doesn’t blame Dean.
-When he says “I haven’t told you everything” Dean is affronted. Like, he’s not used to that, this conflict is new to them. Sam must’ve told him everything at other times in their lives.
-WHY DIDN’T THEY LET US WATCH DEAN BRUSH HIS THUMB ACROSS SAM’S FACE.
This is genuinely the most romantic thing I have ever seen. Dean is kneeling over Sam, tenderly cradling his bloodtearstained face, brushing his thumb across his cheek, Sam’s mouth open as he slumps into his brother’s hands, gazing up at him under heavy eyelids. But Sam won’t let Dean call him Sammy again yet. That would be too familiar. I’m going to throw up.
-Sam is brave but Dean is the one who saves him, first by shattering the mirror and then holding it up to Mary.
-Sam tells Dean “you’re my brother, and I’d die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.” He’s clinging to some of the distance that he put between them by living his own life at Stanford.
-and look…If Sam were consciously and agonizingly in love with Dean, and trying his best to grapple with that, this episode would remain exactly the same. A lot of the text supports this reading.
-Jessica appears to Sam looking beautiful out the car window, then disappears. To me, this is a way of concluding his grief storyline. Of course his grief isn’t over, but from here out it’s not an immediate problem. Grief is a special kind of vicious when it’s fresh and it’s not fresh any more. It also seems like Sam wants to keep his life with Jessica specifically separate from Dean.
-episode theme is facing the truth about yourself that you want to hide from.
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Dean // SPN - 1x05
Dean ( Jensen ) love club: @jillmariej @deanwanddamons @deanwinchesterswitch @brilovesdeanwinchester @waywardbaby @spnfangirl1314 @shawnie74 @kwistowee @queenofallerdalehall @charred-angelwings @girlshunttoo @adoptdontshoppets @ddriverpicksthemusic @milo-winchester-4ever @wickedinspirations @quicklymybasement @jensensgotyoudean @lequisha @deansraspberrypie @thoughts-and-funnies @raidens-realm @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @eevvvaa @doublebill @avanatural @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @catnipster69 @waynes-multiverse
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