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ngscoffeecupcommentary · 2 years

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Spy x Family vol.1 by Tatsuya Endo

You can practically hear the music. No, I haven't seen the anime, but this manga is already giving off spy movie vibes. I'm loving it.

I'm loving the juxtaposition of Twilight|Loid as this calculating, smooth spy - with endless disguises and perfect emotional distance - and then he gets the mission.

The one that will break it or make it.

Marry and have a child.

Well, not really, but-!

His reactions are absolutely delightful through this whole volume and the way he has to learn to unwind a bit, not be so inflexible with himself and others. The way his heart foes get stirred by both his new child and his new wife - in different ways of course.

Next we have the Thorn Princess|Yor, who I at first thought was using that space-cadet persona as a mask - but it turns out she really is like that, and honestly, I like that even more. The office lady is an assassin and the assassin is an office lady and that's wonderful.

Her honest belief in Loid is vary charming and though he sometimes finds it baffling he is charmed by her - especially when going gets rough and she shows off her assassin skills, she is pretty darn amazing and his delight at that is pretty obvious.

Then we have Anya, the cute little menace who thinks her new 'fake' parents are the coolest thing since EVER. Naturally she has the advantage of being a telepath and knowing their every secret thought. However, just because she can hear people's thoughts doesn't mean she knows what to do with or about what she hears. She is still a little girl and it shows.

She quickly manages to win over both of her new parents who are absolutely ready to murder a man for her by the end of volume 1 and I'm all about that.

I'm really looking forward to development of this small family.

Now for some reading commentary I typed while reading this so you can see me freak out:

Spy movie vibes, music in the background.

Poor Karen, though maybe not if she's like the crime boss's daughter XD I guess we'll never find out - she's just another sacrifice for the mission.

I wonder if this is going to be all comedy or if we'll delve into the politics of this conflict.

'You will marry and have a child' *spews coffee* HACK! COUGH!

'I have seven days to make a child?!' he yells in the train - spy everyone - lol

I wonder how long you'll be able to 'play' father before you actually become a father

Little Anya is literally cheating by reading his mind :p

Oooo, an Experiment? I wonder if that's all satire writing or if it'll come back

She is so cute, takes it literally <3

'i want a pistol with a silencer' 'Yes, fine, if we see it on sale'

I would SO love it if they all stayed a family and Anya grew up to be a super cute badass with terrifying badass parents who love her.

Omg

Well you can't say he's not serious about parenting. He immediately hit the books. 100% effort by our man - even if he's acting like he's never been a kid himself - who knows what his childhood was like tho (no interrogation - omg)

Oof...there isn't going to be any future. That one hit me.

I'm looking forward to seeing you eat your words. I don't like bad parents in fiction (or reality) so I'm looking forward to a turn-around that I'm expecting will happen.

Anya's having fun - kinda XD and Twilight is getting an aneurysm lol

Getting reported for child abuse will be the least of his worries

Intro to Franky, hmmm, an informant?

ACTION! I love the true mood of this is a spy action movie.

Oh boy, what a cliffhanger with that - the guy behind him, him thinking about abandoning Anya

Ooo, bits of history on both Anya and Twilight - oof, an experiment and a kid from a war-zone

Papa has such cool internal monologue Anya can't help her hero-worshiping.

Papa really is cool.

Twilight looks monstrous.

Shaded with black, only eyes glowing - I love it.

Awww

Papa is the biggest liar and a cool one at that. He'll also get you a castle if there's one on sale. - I'm looking forward to this sentence being a running gag.

He helped her study and exhausted himself - and now they're snuggled up on the couch. So sweet <3 except he's a spy and hair-trigger so he woke up.

OH NO! THEY NEED A MOMMY ASAP!

Honestly Franky looks cute, but maybe doesn't suit Twilight's image as a spouse, hmm.

'You can have a peanut' Anya <3 <3 <3

Omg...Yor is a space cadet - tho I know it's a front, but it's still cute.

...being single at 30 is suspicious...well I guess I'm a spy too then.

They are all 'fake-friendly' it still leaves a bad taste even if I know Yor is a front.

Oh dear...even her family…

I suppose they wouldn't know, but still…

Omg she got herself into her own trap - now she needs a boyfriend

Oh dear...that's some sus brother there - I feel like he's manipulative, somehow - she's a bit too cowed…

Oooo, Thorn Princess.

Thorn Princess and Twilight <3 sounds like a lovely pair.

'Cleaning house is the only thing I know' omg.

They could work So well together.

Lol, they couldn't send him a suitable wife because suitable ones were dead - omg

The dark satire in this is hilarious when examined

Hahah 'Will I be sold to traffickers? - ‘not if you're a good girl’ - she's learning that language from you papa

Ooo, Yor's skill caught his eyes! :D

Anya's faces!

Omg

She just thinks they're so cool! (and is starved for entertainment)

And she's RIGHT!

Omg, their internal monologue - he's like manipulating and she's like 'what a wonderful person!'

Oh no - his schedule is fcked.

This is terrible - he's gonna stand her up unintentionally - oh no

He was late, but he saved the day, and then she saved the day! And and and

----that bitch literally called Yor a whore to Loid's face. What a crew….

AND now Loid and Yor are in their own action scene <3

What a delight. She's not simpleton Loid, she just thinks you're great.

'The sharpest or dumbest woman' lol Loid, she's fantastic -she's just got niche talents ...like you

Oh he looks so delighted at her strength <3

SHE asked HIM to marry her!

While in a shootout

Its perfect for them

He's like calculating and she's like 'the only man who'll like me as I am.' oh darling - the more he knows you the more he'll love you - I'm CERTAIN! ...He better love you.

Engagement in a shootout. Glorious.

Moving in and then prepping for interview - I kinda feel bad for Loid with how much he plans and then has his plans fall to shambles because he's not working solo and basically has to rely on other people's skills.

None of the 'refinement' is actually suited for them - but I bet it'll be useful later - somehow surprisingly, because rule of funny. I love how they just squared up to help an old lady, they are so cute ;o;

OMG the selection process is cutthroat - and Yor's 'no I idea what I'm doing, so I'll just follow Loid's lead' and Anya saluting a bald man - fantastic

Loid, omg, the gutter rescue, you're amazing - and so cool

OMG the housemaster is ...so over-the-top - hilarious

An effing stampede… ;o; unbelievable

Omg - so it wasn't a test, but an actual crisis XD hahaha

OMG

YOR

SHE PARALYZED THE COW

Loid, you better fall in love with this insane woman or I will swipe her up

Two changes of clothes. They are absolutely terrifying in every way imaginable and I love them. <3

Now I'm wondering if this will end up in a Mr. and Mrs. Smith type of ending? Or situation somewhere along the line - if not, I'd like a fanfic anyway.

OOOO the cutthroat interview - Get is Anya! Don't let the jitters get to you!

Omg

That man

I love how Yor and Loid immediately took Anya's side and walked out of there like boos ass bitches.

Aw I'm gonna cry - they are such a cute family ;o;

Rating: 5 stars

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anisaanisa · 1 year

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Mood ☆

#my edit #anya forger #bond forger #bond #anya #manga #manga cap #manga edit #spy x family #sxf #spy x family manga #sxf edit #スパイファミリー #animanga #shounen #tatsuya endo #sxf volume 1 #sxf special illustration #anisa reads sxf

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gfitzwillsebastianz3rd · 1 year

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Loid's Dossier, Spy X Family book one, in Chapter 5.

Bonus mini Anya comic, also from Chapter 5.

I love how she is just like a 4-5-year-old girl that wants the cute blind bag surprise from the sweets, even though she has powers.

#Spy X Family #Spy X Family Manga Volume 1/Book 1 #Agent Twilight #Tatsuya Endo #Anya Forger

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newcaptainofsquad9 · 1 year

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Now I'm shipping Yor and Fiona. The vision is there and there clearly isn't enough fanfiction so.....

#fiona x yor #yor forger #yor briar #fiona frost #spy x family #theyre both so fine #Yor has always been my lady since volume 1 and Fiona jumped into my heart after i caught up on the manga

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typewritersounds · 2 years

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#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things volume 2 #stranger things volume 1 #eleven #my posts #spy x family #spy family #anya forger #loid forger #doctor brenner #martin brenner #millie bobby brown

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outarou-mikado · 1 year

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Love staying up late to read (my overdue) manga and none of them were that great :)

#true suffering #they were okay #but nothing fantastic #all excited for the yuri manga and them i was not impressed by it ansjwjsbdbndjdnd #got bolume two on hold to see how i feel #but there is Too Much Man involved in my yuri manga this is not why I am here 😐#and I was dragginggg myself through the volume of spy x family #😭😭😭#not fixing anymore typos in this its 1:30am #witness my.spelling mistakes girlies💕

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nii-chan-tamer · 2 years

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#spy x family #volume 1 #spy family

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skully-bones · 2 years

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i'll never get over how weird walmart's manga selection is asdhgfsd

#picked up volume 1 of ascendance of a bookworm today!#but i was looking for spx x family volume 3 plus a couple other series i collect #and for spy x family #they ONLY have volumes 1 2 and 6?????#i'm gonna try and go to barnes & noble this weekend #if all else fails i'll just do some online shopping asdgfjhdfdaa

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illyrian-dreamer · 11 months

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Our girl – Part 1

Azriel x Cassian x Reader angst

Summary: Deeming you unfit for a mission, the Inner Circle have betrayed your trust and shattered your life’s mission to avenge you sister. And the two males you love most were at the centre of it all.

Word count: 5k

Super angsty IC dynamics, little bit of violence/blood. Injured reader.

--------

“It was my right!!” Your voice was shrill, breaking from the volume – but you couldn't care less.

“I understand that Y/N, but I have a duty to my court. And to you, to keep you safe.” Your Highlord was unmoved, professional and stoic, your anger washing over him like water against stone.

The thud of your heart was in your ears, the tips of them hot, and you were sure the rest of your family could hear it too. You tried to breath, to think, to let yourself see the logic in Rhys’s decision to let Azriel make the kill over you.

But it was all bullshit.

“He was mine to kill,” you seethed, your voice unrecognisable, an almost growl from the deep part of your throat that strained at you not to cry.

“Try to understand–”

“No!” you spat, marching up to the High Lord, your finger pointed at your chest. The rest of your family stiffened as you approached, untrusting of what you would do next. You could see Azriel’s shadows run down his frame, even though the male hadn't moved from his formal stance by the door. He kept his hands clasped behind his back, still unable to look you in the eye since the moment you had barged into the room. Feyre was biting the nail on her thumb, her face pained and distressed as she watched you march up to her mate. But it was Cassian who showed the least amount of trust, taking a step closer, ready to jump in if - or rather when he had to.

“She was my sister Rhysand, MY SISTER! Not yours, not anyone else's here. He took her in innocence, and his death was mine to mark.”

Rhysand’s brow clenched. “It had to be this way,” he offered softly.

You scoffed, running shaky hands through your hair as you paced backwards. “You expect me to believe that?” Sarcasm oozed from you as easily as the aggression. “I’ve only ever asked you for one thing Rhysand, one thing! Meryl’s murder was unjust, and you promised to train me to avenge her! You promised I would be the one to kill that male!”

Rhysand took a deep breath, his violet eyes pained, but his head remained high. “I’m sorry Y/N. It’s as I said, you’re not ready to execute a mission this big, and Alvar had intel on our court that we could not risk exposing.”

“I have worked my ass off for years for you Rhys. I have trained in hail, rain and shine, I’ve completed mission after mission with no complaint. I have fought for you, lied and stolen and killed for you. I have given my life to avenging Meryl, and you have the audacity to tell me I’m not ready?”

“I know it’s hard to hear. There’s no changing that you didn't have clearance.”

“From who?”

“Cassian and Azriel.”

And that was the last thing you heard before your heart broke in two.

The males you trusted most in this world, the two that had broken your walls, taught you to trust again, trained you and nurtured you, the very beings you loved most in this world,– had not only known of the task, but had been the ones to stop you from fulfilling your life’s mission?

They knew the depths of your reasoning for joining the Inner Circle, for training as a Velarian spy. They had known your one true desire to find Alvar Ashwood – Hybern’s lead assassin – and make him pay for the innocent life that he took.

You looked between the two of them now, your mouth agape as you tried to find the words, or even a sound that could come close enough to the anguish you felt. But no sound found you, even your shaking had stopped. Rhys was saying something, but his words were a world away, muffled and muted as heart-wrenching shock consumed you.

Cassian looked back at you with broken, pleading eyes. Azriel's head hung low in shame.

You would never forgive them for this.

“I-I.” You stopped yourself, gulping. You had nothing left to say. Nodding slowly, silent tears of realisation rolled down your cheeks. One thing was clear – there was no one left that you could trust.

“I’m sorry you’re hurt Y/N, truly. Please, take some time to rest, to process. We’ll discuss this further when you’re ready, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” Rhys’s stance had softened at your tears, his palms open as he dared to try and slip through your mental shields to sooth you.

Gritting your teeth, you slammed your walls up as high as possible, shutting him out and throwing him from the outskirts of your mind. You whipped your head back to your High Lord, a snarl ready at your lips as you took another stride towards him.

Cassian jumped into action then, stopping you with two large hands on either of your shoulders, his back to his Rhys as he blocked your path.

“Hey, hey, how about we go talk about this outside, ok?”

“Get off me,” you spat, shaking off his hold as you tried to eye Rhys over his shoulder.

Feyre had joined her mate now, their arms linked as they stared at you with pure shock. Neither of them had anticipated just how deeply this decision would cut.

Giving up against Cassian’s hold, you looked between both of them, their figures becoming a blur as tears welled in your eyes. “How could you do this to me?” you broke, your face crumpling. “I trusted you, all of you!”

Cassian pulled you close to his chest as he walked you from the room. “Shh, its alright, c’mon, come with me.”

You had nothing left to give. No energy, no fight, certainly nothing that could resist Cassian’s strength as he dragged you from that room, weeping.

You weren't even sure how you made it to the gardens, but the bite cold of the night shocked you enough to push the General off of you.

Bending at your waist, you held yourself up by your knees, your breath shaky and uneven as you struggled to breath in between sobs. Bile rose in your mouth, and you were unsure if you were going to be sick.

“Shh, its alright Y/N. Just breath.” Cassian’s large hand framed and soothed your back.You wanted so badly to give in to him, to throw yourself at his chest and let him hold you while you cried. But no – he had betrayed you, just like the rest.

“D-don’t touch me,” you managed to gasp.

“Alright sweetheart, alright.”

“And don't call me that!” Having regained a steady breath, you straightened to look at him, disgust seeping from your expression as your eyes darted between his. “You knew?”

Cassian sighed, closing his eyes and dropping his head slightly. “Yeah, I knew.”

“How could you not tell me?”

Another sigh from the General. “We knew you’d go after him if you found out.”

You blinked back at Cassian, biting your lip as you shook your head in disbelief.

“I know it might not make sense right now doll, but we did it for your own good.”

You shook your head faster, your frown deepening as you stepped further away from your once friend. “No, no no Cassian! No! There is no excuse!”

“I’m sorry you’re hurting Y/N, really, I am. I know what it feels like to lose someone you love, to need to avenge them.”

Your eyes narrowed. “That’s right Cass, you do. So where was our family to lie and deceive you all those months you spent slashing and killing to avenge your mother?”

Cassian’s eye softened as he took a deep breath. “You know that is the deepest regret of my life.”

“At least the decision was yours,” you spat, turning your heel for the gates at the back of the gardens.

Cassian was on your tail. “Please, Y/N. We did it out of care for your safety, try to understand.” You kept a stubborn chin forward, picking up your pace as you sought any kind of exit from this Gods-forsaken home that had once been your haven.

You had finally reached the gates, magic willing them to open on their own accord. You steered straight ahead – to the thick of the woods that bordered the house

“Where are you going?” Cassian asked.

You didn't answer the General. Before you, your destination lay clear.

“Y/N. The woods are dangerous.”

You scoffed, your pace and direction unchanged. A strong hand caught your wrist.

“Get off me Cassian,” you snarled.

“Look, I’m sorry, but I can't let you.”

“I said get off!”

Cassian snatched his hand back, a sharp breath drawn as he winced in pain. Your power – that unpredictable, uncontrollable current of energy now swarmed your skin like an electric coating. It was moments like this that your gift found you, unpredictable and dangerous, much like yourself. Surely part of the reason your family had decided you weren't good enough to find and kill Alvar on your own.

You had no room in your heart to care if you hurt Cassian. This was your window to flee, so you did, escaping him and heading to the depths of the woods.

————

The woods were crisp and dark, the usual brilliant array of stars hidden by tree tops. But you didn't care, your own discomfort numbed from the sheer rage that fuelled your every step.

Your breath was a smoky puff against the cold, twigs and branches crunching underneath the stomp of your boots while circular thoughts reeled in your mind, over and over again.

Rhysand had ordered Azriel to kill Alvar. Cassian and Azriel didn’t give you clearance and kept the mission a secret. Alvar was dead. You would never avenge your sister.

It was done. It was over. The last tether to your sister, buried forever. Everything you had worked for, the one motivation that kept you from falling apart at her death, that got you out of bed on those days when grief was an excruciating ache on your stomach – gone in an instant. And the people you loved the most were to blame.

Deep within your turmoil of thoughts, the shadows that slinked over your footprints went unnoticed, and the figure that flew overhead amiss.

The sound of a bubbling brook pricked your fae ears. You decided to follow it – perhaps a sip of cold water, or running your hands through a stream might calm the energy that still zapped at your skin.

Sure enough, not a short walk away was the brook. The water trickled down into a large pool, the tree tops cleared as moonlight danced in the reflection of the water. Under any other circumstance, you would have found this setting to be beautiful.

You bought shaking hands to cup at the stream, wincing as the cold stung at your power. But the liquid was quick to sooth you, and your spark began to fizzle as you bought your hand to your mouth, drinking intently.

After a few more sips, you sat back at the bank of the pool, closing your eyes as heavy breaths pushed through the ache in your chest. The sound of a small splash of water had you opening your eyes, and you jumped as unfeeling, black ones stared back at you from the centre of the pool.

A sickly pale face watched you unblinking, its figure still beneath the water from the nose down. Adrenaline was quick to fuel you to get the hell out of there, but you also knew better.

This was a kelpie. And it was too late to run.

The kelpie moved silently beneath the water, wading its way towards you. You took the few moments you had to scramble to your feet, patting yourself for anything to defend yourself with. Fuck – you hadn't a weapon on you.

Reaching the edge of the bank now, it stood on its long limbs, water trickling off its sickly figure, its own long black hair blending with the reeds that clung to its frame.

“Are you a royal?” it grinned, its pointed teeth yellow and rotted.

You forced a steady voice, calling on your power you so often stifled. “No,” was all you said, staring the creature down.

The kelpie ran an insidious tongue along its teeth, churning a nauseous feeling in your stomach. “Then why do you smell of it?”

You blinked – you hadn't realised you carried the scent of your family with you too. Perhaps a kelpie’s scent was more heightened?

“They are my family. Unrelated.” you explained, buying yourself more time for your power to gather. “They’ll fetch for me soon,” you lied.

The kelpie hissed and grinned at once, walking closer towards you. You took a few steps back, keeping your distance.

“You smell…,” the kelpie paused, its awful nostrils flaring against its face. “Delicious.”

“You best leave. They’ll kill you if you harm me,” you replied quickly, cursing yourself for the fear that you knew now tinged your scent. The kelpie caught it too, its grin growing wider.

“But I’m starrrrved,” it drawled, lowering its look to you. “I’m afraid I cannot contain myself, even if I tried.” A sickly chuckle racked through its chest.

You gulped, sizing up the creature in front of you. Ordinarily, you knew you could take down someone of his size. But you were without your weapons, and your power was unreliable at the best of times. If it took you in the water, you were sure as dead. Begging to the Gods, you clenched your fists, willing your power to find you in any shape or form.

“Any last words, non-royal?” it cackled, readying itself to attack.

You didn't have a chance to respond as shadows flooded around you, blue siphons glowing among them. The kelpie yelped and howled, and as the darkness cleared you saw its pale figure pinned to the ground.

“Are you alright?” Azriel was before you, his hands gripped at both your arms. Your eyes were wide with shock as you took him in. He had followed you?

The kelpie was deceivingly strong, and fought against his shadows, freeing itself quickly. It screeched as it lunged for you both, a darkened claw swinging for Azriel’s back. You shoved the Shadowsinger aside, the kelpie’s claws slashing across your arm as you yelped in pain. Blood began to pour from your new wound, and the kelpie hissed too, having being struck by your power on contact.

Azriel was on the kelpie in an instant, a blur shadows and muscle before you spotted the glint of truth teller. The next thing you heard was the kelpie’s final howl.

Its mouth agape, the kelpie bled black blood, crawling back to the depths of the pool, choosing to die in its element. Neither you or Azriel stopped it.

Azriel was panting, his breathing loud as the final sign of life from the kelpie bubbled to the surface of the water. You stayed still with shock.

Hazel eyes were before you now, scanning you over.

“Your arm,” Azriel said, touching you gingerly.

“I’m fine,” you said with a distant voice, your mind still with the hideous creature that attacked you. Your forearm was warm with your own blood as it gathered at your fingertips before dripping to the ground.

“Let’s get you to a healer.”

It was that instruction, that order, that snapped you out of your trance. You had heeded and trusted that voice for far too long. And in the end, it had betrayed you.

You snatched your arm away from Azriel, scowling as you met his eyes. “Do not tell me what to do.”

Azriel levelled a look at you. “This is not a regular wound, Y/N. You know a kelpie’s claw is laced with poison.”

You gritted your teeth, ignoring the burning sensation quickly spreading across your body, or the reel in your vision. How convenient that you so desperately needed his help.

“I’ll see to it myself,” you snapped, glaring deep into the Shadowsinger’s eyes. A muscle feathered in his jaw, Azriel’s tell-sign of irritation. He was far less patient than his brothers.

You made to step around him, before a strong arm circled your waist, pulling you back. Too weak to fight him off, a scarred hand covered your mouth to mute your yell of protest. Instead a quick rush of air filled your lungs as the forest folded around you, quickly revealing an infirmary wing.

Shoving yourself from Azriel’s hold the moment you landed, you stumbled forward, finding balance by clinging to the edge of an empty cot. A set of healers rushed to you, grabbing your arms and holding you up.

“A kelpie’s claw,” Azriel said before either of them could ask the question, one of the healer’s dashing for the antidote. “Where is Madja?”

“She does not work nights,” the healer’s voice was loud in your ear as you clung to her, barely able to stand. A small groan escaped you, the fire from the kelpie’s poison burning through your veins, your mobility slowing with every second.

“Fetch for her, please,” Azriel instructed, taking your limp body from the healer and placing you in the cot. A vial was bought to your lips then, the contents inside giving off a putrid smell. You jerked your head stubbornly, but the vial was tipped further against your mouth.

“Drink,” Azriel ordered, his cold hand lacing through your hair and pushing at the back of your head. You had no chose, swallowing the liquid while you still could. The fire in your veins began to dull, and you breathed, thankful for the quick relief.

“Good,” the Shadowsinger said approvingly. You hated that affirmation, but were too weak to show it.

The healers dotted around you, placing cold rags on your face and stitching your wound. Azriel watched, his arms folded and face etched with concern. Uncontrollable shakes racked through your body, your muscles jerking with pain and exhaustion.

Falling in and out of consciousness, you were too dazed to note Madja’s arrival, and with her, Cassian.

“What happened?” Cassian asked his brother, his eyes panicked.

“A kelpie,” Azriel said tightly.

Cassian clenched his eyes shut, punching the bridge of her nose. “She got away from me. I didn't want to chase her, she was already distraught.”

“I was tracking her too. I should have intervened sooner,” Azriel responded, his eyes not leaving you as a deeper frown settled on his face.

After a quick check of your vitals and words with her healers, Madja approached the two.“The antidote is working. She’ll recover soon.”

“She still looks sickly?” Cassian questioned, looking past the healer at your sagged and sweaty body.

“That is what I wanted to talk to you both about. Y/N is carrying symptoms of something else I can't place. Do either of you know if she was involved in a foreign mission lately, perhaps something of high risk or stress?”

The brothers shared a look before Azriel responded. “Not exactly Madja, but she… received some bad news today.”

“She was very upset,” Cassian added.

Madja nodded slowly, tutting softly. “Whatever has happened, it’s manifesting physically. She’s weaker than usual, and will need to rest for a few days. I suggest keeping her here, where we can tend to her.”

“Perhaps we can bring her home Madja. Would you see to her there?” Azriel asked, his arms crossing tighter. Illyrian’s being preternaturally possessive, he preferred you at home where he could keep a closer eye on you, help even.

“The choice is Y/N’s really. Let me do what I can while she rests, I’ll call for you when she wakes.” The brother’s nodded, making to leave the wing.

“Madja,” Cassian half turned, grabbing the healer by her arm. “Please, just, tell her we’re sorry.”

With a small frown, Madja reluctantly agreed.

————

When you awoke, you expected it to be light. Instead, the infirmary was dim, the soft glow of fae light warming the medical wing around you.

Memories from the night before returned, your stomach churning at the thought. The kelpie, hurting Cassian, the fight with your family. Your heart clenched as you were reminded – they had betrayed you, and you could no longer trust them.

Groaning as you turned to your side, you felt around for anything to catch the bile rising in your throat. You luckily landed on a pan, what little remained in your stomach hurled up as your gut clenched and heaved.

Madja entered at the sound, rubbing soothing pats on your back and taking the pan away when you had finished.

You fell back onto the pillows, your body clammy and weak. “What’s wrong with me?” you asked her as she checked your breathing.

“You were struck by a kelpie. Although your wounds are healing well.”

You looked at the ceiling, nodding as you recalled the horrific event. It was hard enough to almost die at the hands of a creature like that, but your heart ached at the thought that Azriel had saved you, yet you never wanted to see his face again.

“It would seem there is something else that plagues your mind, child.”

You looked at Madja now, blinking away the tears that were quickly building.

“Your family mentioned some kind of distressing news?”

Closing your lids, a silent tear rolled from each of your eyes. You merely nodded, your hands quickly brushing away the evidence.

“Its none of my business, but the General was eager that I relay their apologies.”

You froze, flashing a broken look at the healer you had known for many years. How many wounds and ailments of yours had she patched and cured in your career? But emotional wounds – this was new territory for the both of you.

As if finally in safe hands, your face crumpled, your anger and anguish overwhelming as you began to sob. Madja was ordinarily tough – she had no time for foolery and was unsympathetic for injuries of your own fault. But she comforted you now, hushing you and patting your back in a motherly way.

“What do you do when you no longer trust the people you love, Madja?” you asked through shallow cries.

She gave a small, tight smile, squeezing your hands that she now held in hers. “You spend eternity learning to forgive them.”

You bit the quiver in your lip. “I’m not sure I can,” you admitted.

She sighed softly, nodding with understanding. “You have the rest of your existence if you choose to try.”

Madja’s wisdom comforted you, your eyelids turning heavy and you fell to another bout of sleep.

————

Azriel, Cassian and Mor were eating breakfast at the House of Wind, none of them speaking as the weight of last nights events hung heavy.

With a sigh, Mor looked between the males. “She’s going to forgive you eventually, you know that right?”

Cassian gave her a sorry smile, while Azriel kept his eyes on his eggs. He gripped his fork tighter, his jaw clenched. “You didn't see the way she looked at us.”

“She just needs time,” Mor said. “This was her life’s mission after all.”

Azriel’s head snapped up, an icy cold glare fixed upon his face, a blanket over the sheer guilt he felt at Mor’s statement. “You don’t think I know that?”

Mor blinked at the Shadowsinger in shock – it was so unlike him to lose his cool.

“Easy Az, don't snap at Mor for things out of her control,” Cassian frowned at his brother, before shovelling another mouthful of oatmeal.

Azriel let out a sharp breath, clenching his eyes shut, ignoring the sting from the lack of sleep. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, still unable to unlock his tight jaw. Mor waved him off, assuring him it was no big deal.

A gust of foreign wind blew as Rhys and Feyre winnowed into the dining room. The High Lord disregarding pleasantries, his hand clutching a letter, its broken seal the unmistakable symbol of the infirmary.

“I have received news on Y/N.” The High Lord’s tone was to the point, cold even, like he was only interested in discussing the facts.

“Is she alright?” Cassian asked urgently. Azriel’s grip tightened on his knife and fork as he held his breath.

“Madja says her recovery is slow, but she is making progress. One or two more nights at the infirmary and she should be strong enough to be discharged.”

“I asked Madja about attending to her here. Has she written about that?” Azriel asked.

Rhys’s lips tightened before he loosed a deep breath. Feyre, her face pained, jumped in. “Madja has also written that at this point in time, Y/N does not wish to return to home.”

The others fell silent.

“What does that mean?” Azriel gritted.

Tears welled in their High Lady’s eyes, and Rhys slipped his hand over his mates.

“She no longer wishes to live here,” he said, his violet eyes saddened and dim.

Mor gasped, and Cassian shook his head. “Where will she go?” The General stood, his chair scraping as he pushed it out behind him.

“It’s unclear at this stage. Madja has asked that we respect her privacy while she heals. I’m hoping we can talk to her when she’s feeling better. Perhaps even convince her to stay.”

“She won't come back.” The rest of the group turned to the Shadowsinger, his gaze darkened and his shadows building to his neck. “I could sense her rage, the hate she held in her eyes. To her, what we did is unredeemable.”

“Don’t say that Az,” Feyre begged, a lone tear rolling down her cheek.

Azriel’s pounded the table with his fist, his knife now stuck upright in the mahogany wood. “Would you prefer I lied? She’s worked her whole life to avenge Meryl, and we shattered that dream. I wouldn't forgive us either.”

“Surely there is something we can do,” Cassian looked between his brother’s, eyes desperate, almost pleading.

But Azriel kept his cold glare on the couple before him. “You asked me to find Alvar first. So I did. And now we’ve lost our girl.”

Rhys’s power coursed through the room as he bought his mate closer to his side. “Watch it, Azriel,” he warned. “Alvar had intel on our wards, our home would be forever exposed if he got away. I tried my best to give Y/N the opportunity. Let’s not forget the decision you and Cass made to keep her grounded.”

“She was going to get herself killed,” Cassian muttered, not defensively, but as pure fact. “The desire to kill him – it makes her power unpredictable. She would have hurt herself, or died trying.”

“We all did what we had to do,” Feyre said softly, bringing sense back above the tension of the room. Pained, guilty expressions reflected hers.

Azriel stood now too, making his way around the table and heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Rhys asked.

“To go get Y/N.”

“She’s asked we give her some space Az,” Feyre reasoned. “We have no right to go barging in while she’s trying to recover.”

“I don't care. She’s angry, but that doesn't mean she knows what’s best. She’ll heal better here, with people that care about her. I’ll go–”

“Sit down,” Rhys interrupted the Shadowsinger, the air thickening with his power as he pulled rank.

Azriel’s shoulder’s tightened at Rhys’s order, halting his steps yet refusing to take his seat. “She belongs here, with us,” he gritted.

“We can't force her to do anything Azriel,” Mor whispered, her eyes soft as cast a sympathetic look at her friend.

There was silence in the room again, none of them knowing what to say next.

“This is my fault,” Cassian swallowed, his gaze distant in a deep frown.

“No one is to blame,” Rhys said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The situation is unfortunate, but I’m certain it will get better in time.” He breathed deeply, offering a broken smile to his mate before casting a stern look at the others. “We’ll keep you updated if we hear anything further.”

With a few quiet goodbyes, the High Lord and Lady winnowed back to their River Home.

“We–“ Cassian began.

“Don’t Cass,” Mor interrupted knowingly. “You need to leave bad enough alone.” She stood then, leaving the males to their breakfast.

Cassian cast a look to his brother, who was already looking at him. “Are we leaving now?”

“Not with all eyes on us. Wait until dark. Then we’ll go get our girl.”

“Deal.”

--------

Part 2 >>>>

AN: Ok, here’s that angsty piece I was telling you about....

I HAVE MISSED YOU GUYS!!!

Also I’ve been slack with my tag lists, very sorry! If you’d like to join a generic acotar one, drop a comment.

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ceraphise · 2 years

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sxf volume 1 mission 1

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sophiamarieispinkbunny-chan · 5 months

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More in depth analysis about the Spy x Family Manga Cover Chairs and Bonus Artworks (Or me just overthinking Endo’s decisions in everything and as always long post, please bear with me)

So I wanted to talk about something that I noticed about the various designer chairs that is featured on all manga covers.

Endo did say that he thought about how each chair matches the personality of the character, regarding it’s style, design or the color.

But I like to talk about something different about the chairs-it’s size or the seating capacity and how it reflects the characters relationship with others or their views about relationships. Also, I’m going to share something significant about the comedic bonus arts that also feature the chairs.

This focus mainly about Loid, Yor and Anya‘s Chair (including Fiona’s Chair) and the bonus illustrations that came with it.

Volume 1-Loid’s Chair: Le Corbusier LC2

There are two versions of this chair in the manga/anime, the love seat and the one seater. Loid is seated in the one seater chair in this cover, it means no one can sit there with him that reflects how reluctant he was in letting other people in his life. He wasn’t open for relationships (You can notice that those who are like him, intelligence assets; Franky, Fiona, Handler all sit in one seating capacity chair).

The bonus artwork was Anya sitting on the chair copying his pose. She’s the most fitting person to be in this seat because she can see through Loid’s mind, she basically knows who he really is and she likes him for that. Anya was fond of spies and she was excited about being part of his mission.

Volume 2-Anya’s Chair: Marshmallow Sofa

Anya’s chair has a large seating capacity and she was sitting at the middle, waiting for the empty spots on her both sides to be occupied. This depicts Anya’s anticipation for forming relationship with other people, about her wanting parents, a family, to be there for her.

The bonus artwork was drunk Yor lying face flat on Anya’s chair. This artwork, for me, reflects Yor’s unwavering affection for Anya and Anya’s appreciation of Yor. Even drunk, she’s determined to protect her, as if she was her real daughter as seen during the castle chapter. She is fond of Anya.

Volume 3-Yor’s Chair: La Chaise (Featuring Fiona’s Heart Cone Chair)

This is the chair I wanted to talk about and I have to use Fiona’s Chair for this analysis for Endo said that Fiona is designed to be Yor’s contrast and we can clearly see it in their chairs.

The seating capacity of Yor and Fiona’s chair greatly differ. Yor’s chair was big, Endo pointed how it didn’t even fit the cover, and even though Fiona’s chair is big too, she’s the only person who could sit in it. Other people can fit Yor’s chair but not with Fiona. I analyze this as Yor being open to genuine relationships and selfless while Fiona being closed off and selfish.

We know Yor’s motivation for being an assassin was for Yuri, for the sake of other people, and what is Fiona’s motivation? Clearly it was mainly for Twilight to marry her, love her and it was evidently show with all that stuff hiding behind her chair. I’m sure she experienced a lot of traumatic stuff that led to her being a spy but I don’t see other praise worthy and selfless motivations from her that was aside Twilight’s affection. Don’t get me wrong, she’s an interesting character and she isn't a bad person but I’m not really a fan of her personality just like I don’t like Yuri’s obsession with her sister.

In Yor however, she has nothing under or behind her chair. Just that blood that wasn’t even behind or below her chair. She wasn’t faking anything about her personality. It’s true that she accepted her marriage to preserve her assassin job but she genuinely wanted to marry Loid because he was the one who acknowledged her selflessness and that was enough for her to completely entrust her life to him. She welcomed Loid and Anya to her life because her longing for a companion to share her life with is as big as the size of her chair.

The bonus art in Volume 3 was Loid sitting on her chair. Despite the comedic set up of these illustrations, I think the people who tend to sit on the chair on the bonus arts were the ones who gets the person on the cover the most.

That is why Anya is in Loid’s (Because she can read his mind) Why Yor is in Anya's (Because Yor lost her parents at a young age too and she knows how to care for Anya because she did that to Yuri) and why Loid is in Yor’s chair (Because Loid understood her self sacrifice because he too, is the same as her) Also why Anya and Bond are in the bonus of Volume 4 because the two of them get each other, being both experimented on.

I also have some analysis about Volume 5-12 and the bonus artworks as well, but I might post them in another time since I haven't seen the translated bonus artworks in Becky and Emile and Ewen's Volumes.

But let me know if this analysis makes sense to you.

#spy x family #spy x family manga #anya forger #loid forger #yor forger #twilight #twiyor #spy x family anime #sxf anime #sxf manga #sxf thoughts #sxf analysis #The chairs are really playing significant roles in their character #Endo must've spent a lot of time thinking about it #Everything about the chairs just fits them #I'm excited to see who's going to be on Volume 13's cover #But my hunch would be either Henderson or we will repeat a character

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anisaanisa · 7 months

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Until my mission…my killing…do we part ☆

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piracytheorist · 1 year

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A few notes on trigger discipline, with examples from Spy x Family

One of the first things you learn when learning how to use a gun is that you absolutely do NOT put your finger on the trigger unless you're 100% ready and willing to shoot (and deal with whatever the consequences may be).

Accidental fire is extremely easy to occur. If your finger is touching the trigger, a simple spasm of the hand, a sudden sound or movement in the environment, or jostling from moving can cause the finger to pull the trigger. If you haven't aimed correctly at something that you want to shoot at, you'll very likely shoot something you don't want to shoot, including your own body parts. That's not even counting the fact that you may not properly control the recoil.

So normally, you need to train your discipline so that your first instinct when picking up a gun - especially during a stressful moment - will be for the finger to not go on the trigger until the gun is properly aimed at who/what you want to shoot.

I only trained with air guns some years ago, but discipline was still important; you wrap your hand around the handle with the index finger away from the trigger, make sure you have a good grip on it, raise the gun from the counter, aim, align the sights, and then you put the finger on the trigger and shoot. The one (1) time I accidentally put my finger on it before raising the gun, I shot at the wall while raising it and got a very angry look from my instructor. I was lucky that's all I got.

Since then, I've been noticing trigger discipline in media, and a lot of those get it very wrong.

To his big credit, Tatsuya Endo gets it right.

Twilight's finger is resting parallel to the barrel of the gun, away from the trigger. While this entire pose is more artistic than realistic, it was still important to Endo to portray correct discipline. You don't do that if you don't know about it.

Similarly with Nightfall in the cover of the sixth volume.

Again, artistic, not realistic pose. Still correct discipline.

More examples of artistic depictions with correct discipline:

And then! An action pose!

Twilight has a clear ready-to-shoot pose; he has a target, so finger goes on the trigger. (Normally the gun should be a little higher so he can properly align the sights but he's TwilightTM so I give it a pass)

Even Bondman has good discipline!

Seeing correct discipline in those pictures piques my interest a lot, because it shows that the artist is consciously choosing when he'll show a finger on a trigger, making such a moment more impactful.

Twilight aims his gun right on Edgar's head, his finger on the trigger. Again, you don't put your finger on the trigger unless you're about to shoot. If you're only threatening someone, it should still be off because one single unintentional fire can kill your target when you didn't mean to. Now, I can suspend my disbelief and say Twilight has super duper control over his body to the point of not being jostled or his hand not spasming suddenly because he's TwilightTM. So I instead focus on how serious Twilight was here about killing Edgar. Should Edgar do any movement, he's dead.

Again, it's about the knowledge of trigger discipline itself. When you portray a character not touching the trigger when they don't need to, showing the opposite hits harder.

The Handler prepares the gun ominously, her finger off the trigger.

But when she aims it at the student's head...

She's serious. She's made sure the students heard her prepare the gun, so when she threatens the student, he knows what he's facing despite wearing a blindfold.

Again, in a realistic scenario, in both cases their fingers would rest away from the trigger, because their intention is not to kill their targets unless absolutely necessary. But that might have confused the readers who don't know about trigger discipline, and might have made for less impactful moments. So I give that a pass, especially since Endo is shown to be aware of correct discipline.

The anime is also aware of this.

Twilight is assessing the situation; finger is off the trigger.

The Handler prepares the gun; finger off.

She threatens the student; finger on.

(Of course, there have been moments both in manga and anime with incorrect depictions. But I can let those pass cause I know there's a lot of people involved in creating the art and things can get complicated)

A few more examples, from the Imperial Scholars meeting:

Those are very short moments, but someone drew those stills and intentionally had the guards' index fingers extended and not around the trigger.

As I said above, those examples pique my interest because they are conscious, deliberate choices... and good use of that can make for an impactful scene... say, identity reveal happens, Twilight is aiming his gun at the Thorn Princess, but his finger is off the trigger. He urges himself to put the finger on it, but the damn thing won't move... she also cannot bring herself to stab him even though her dagger is right at his throat, and she notices his hesitation... Endo-sensei I am begging...

(don't spoil me if it happens in the manga, let me live in ignorance)

#Spy x Family #tw: guns #guns tw #sxf meta #500 #1k

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animaymay · 1 month

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SxF 96 Analysis: Some Small Details About the Reveal

Ok, hear me out. I haven't even read the manga for Spy x Family (yet); I've only watched seasons 1 and 2 of the anime, but I've somehow stumbled upon spoilers for the last two chapters (ch. 95 and ch. 96), and other small bits here and there.

And since I am not totally caught up on the story, I hesitate to call this a proper analysis since I'm mostly going off of what I know from the anime at this point. But!

I've been following the chatter and excitement following chapter 96 and I just wanted to throw this quick analysis out there, since I haven't seen some of these details mentioned yet.

So, I'm going to focus on this particular moment, just for what it is. Down the line, after catching up and having all of the character and story details, I might revisit this scene again with additional insight.

Of course, I'm sure we've all seen this panel at this point.

At first glance, this panel is beautifully drawn. You can tell that it was drawn with a lot of care and attention to detail. Typically, such manga panels are used to emphasize the fact that this is an important moment for these characters and/or the story.

There are even bits of confetti(?) flying around them, reminiscent of cherry blossom petals; this is another known technique used in manga to indicate the emotional importance of a scene for the characters featured.

That all feels pretty obvious, I'm sure. But I also wanted to point out other small details given here, which could potentially add another layer to this scene for folks.

I've seen a lot of discussion around how Anya's admission here is a big deal (and it is). But I haven't seen anyone mention the small detail here that she whispers, "I can read people's minds."

I believe that is also why we see that speech bubble transparently -- to visually show us the softness of her voice in that moment (in addition to representing Anya's willingness to be transparent about herself).

However, let's consider the conversation up until this moment. Right before, Damian had jokingly asked her, "How did you know about my dog and the pond, anyway? What, did you read my mind or something?!"

Of course, he was not expecting Anya to say, "Yes". But it's not the fact that Anya said, "Yes" that makes this scene impactful. Anya could have easily said the exact same words, at normal volume, with a smirk on her face, and nobody would think twice about it. Damian would have immediately understood that she was teasing him. And anyone overhearing their conversation would have thought the exact same thing.

But that isn't what happened. Because Anya was serious in that moment. With a genuine expression on her face, she says, "Yes" and then she whispers her secret to him.

And that is what shocks Damian. That is what causes him to freeze.

In that moment, he's able to sense her sincerity and hear the truth in her words.

His gut reaction is to believe her, whether it's because it's Anya or because of how she said it. It isn't until he has a second to think and his brain kicks into gear that he starts to notice the disparity between what he knows to be true and what Anya is telling him. In a split second, he questions this, and then ultimately rejects the notion that she could be telling the truth.

Why?

The obvious answer would be that what she's told him does not line up with what he knows to be true of reality. The rational and logical part of his brain overrides his heart and his gut, ultimately recognizing this disparity and forcing him to reject Anya's claims.

However, they are at a young enough age that it wouldn't be uncommon to easily believe in "impossible" things like magic or superpowers. So, there's also a chance that it goes a bit deeper than this.

Perhaps this sudden display of sincerity and truth from Anya didn't line up with her typical behavior with him. He's not used to seeing that side of her, and as a result, his mind resorts to him thinking that she's lying to him. He thinks that she's just teasing him. Not only because that's what he expects from her, but also because the only other alternative would be for him to admit that they've just shared a true moment of openness and transparency between them.

Anya's whisper implies, "this is only for you to know." As a defense mechanism, Damian's brain decided that it was more likely that Anya was teasing him than it was that she was being vulnerable with him in that way.

Another detail from this moment stems from the fact that this reveal takes place while they are dancing together. Partner dancing is an activity that requires cooperation and teamwork. At first, we see Damian and Anya struggle with getting the hang of it, but eventually they start working together.

That, in itself, seems to be a fairly good representation of their relationship with each other. However, even more so, it follows the flow of their conversation in this moment. It isn't until they start cooperating that they start to open up to one another.

And the pinnacle of the conversation -- the reveal -- happens at the exact moment when Damian dips her. Not only does this make for a picturesque panel, but it is also a symbolic visual of what's happening.

Dipping your dance partner inherently requires a level of trust. The person being dipped has to literally put themselves in their partner's hands. Depending on the dip, they are giving up varying levels of control and safety over to their partner. They have to trust that their partner won't drop them, or bring them too close to the floor; they have to give up their balance and trust that their partner can hold the weight that they're giving up. And their partner takes on the responsibility and burden of that person's trust (as well as trusting that the person that they're dipping does not throw themselves around carelessly).

And here, in this scene, despite the bickering we see Anya and Damian do, we see that there is at least that small amount of trust between them. Anya trusts Damian to dip her, and Damian trusts Anya to be dipped.

But underneath the surface level, the fact that Anya whispers her secret to Damian while he's dipping her reinforces the idea that she trusts him with that knowledge. In that moment, she gave up some of her own control and safety, and placed it in Damian's hands. Only his. Her whisper implies, "this is only for you to know." And he's been given the responsibility and burden of deciding whether to hold it, or drop it.

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