#stilll always the loves of my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starillusion13 · 7 months

Note

I Know it's weird to ask erm.... but Can you pleaseeee do the four seasons of love one with Yunho version because I want to imagine him in that fic and am currently obsessssssed with YUNHO. I know I can read the fic inserting his name but stilll PLEASE IF YOU CAN DO IT.

FOUR SEASONS OF LOVE (Yunho ver.)

Pairing: Ateez! Yunho × f! reader

Genre: Slight angst, Fluff, Slice of life

Warning: self doubt, hints of hating and willing to end life.But our big baby is there to comfort you and show that life is worth to you when you are with right person. A lot of comfort through the images of seasons. You all are precious remember it.

W.C: 4.2k+

Network: @k-vanity @cultofdionysusnet

A/n: don't accuse me for plagiarism coz if you have read this fic before then you must have read the Chanyeol ver.This plot is basically inspired from his solo songs but I had literally Yunho on my mind for this but as I had a request for Chanyeol oneshot so I used this. Thanks to the anon for making me post it.

Many thoughts storming through your mind. Your mind swirling like a cyclone, heart clenching and hands going numb. Nobody wants you, no one even cares for your existence. Maybe they are right that your parents left you at the orphanage because you are unwanted. Why? You never hurt anyone or being a threat to anyone. The only person you have your faiths and trust on has suddenly turned their back to you. You never thought that you have to witness a day like this too after being treated like a shit all these years. Was it not enough for you already?

"Why should I live now?"

Tilting your head back and closing the eyes, you let the raindrops fall on your face directly. Hairs are already drenched and sticking to your forehead and neck, not even caring to move the strands falling on your eyes. Numb hands growing cold under the heavy rain, eyes swollen with crying but people might mistake your eyes are red due to rain. Each falling drop getting mixed with your tears rolling down. Tears of pain? Tears of loneliness? Tears of betrayal? No. Tears of hope.

"Why can't everyone be happy?"

You must be right. Not everyone deserves to be treated as someone's priority. Someone has to feel the pain to let others be happy. You lightly chuckle on your own thoughts. Like always you have to be the sacrifice. Your feet move on its own and now you are standing in the middle of the road surrounded by abandoned constructed buildings. At least there are no people here to judge your every moves.

Unknowingly, you spread your arms and head still facing the sky but with a little smile adorning your face.

"Can I fly alone?"

Its past safety hours at night and you are getting soaked in rain in an empty street and thinking about flying. Are you a child? Maybe only if you can be a child and someone would care about you and take you in their arms and whisper Its okay. I'm here for you.. You want someone to care for you, someone to give you the warmth you crave in your life. This cold rainy night is befriending your nightmares to make you alone, to make you feel...you are not good for anyone.

"Such a bad girl.”

Your eyes shot open on hearing the voice. Rather a very familiar teasing voice you must say. You don't even care to look in the direction to know who the person is but let the raindrops pierce your eyes directly, making you to squint on the effect.

"If you are trying to be blind then I have some better options for you to try."

Better option? Death. You don't see any will to live your life. What life? To be an extra character in everyone's story. Every individual on this planet has their own story but you must believe that you are just the extra one in their story to make give them more spotlight by increasing the sea of people.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, I should have asked you the same, little angel."

Little angel. If only you could have been one then you would have done everything possible to be happy. Just be happy and away from these people who blame you for everything. You are a bad luck to everyone.

Bringing your hands to yourself, eyes fixed on the broken wooden board hanging from the wall of a building to your front. Your back still facing the person but you can feel the stares burning on you.

"I'm not in a mood for your jokes."

"I'm asking you a question not joking. This is not your colony and also not mine but the complex there is mine and I come here often. So, what brings you here?"

"Can't you just leave and let me be alone for once?"

Silence. That's what you got in return. Like others, he also left. Your heart clenched on the thought and your shaking hands turned into fists by your side.

Why are you feeling like this? Its not like you were appreciating his presence, or were you? At least him teasing you whole day somewhat makes you feel that someone care to spend a little bit of their time to talk to you....... To tease you maybe. With hope, hope? You turn around slowly, gaze following how each drop hitting the ground and shattering into tiny droplets. Just like your hopes to see him behind will shatter soon into pieces of disappointment, loneliness and pain.

"Yunho?..”

He is still there, hands in the pocket of his hoodie and eyes boring onto your figure. You feel a bit of joy but for what, just to see him standing there? Like the way an angry mother scolding her child for being out so late. Your shocked eyes contacting with the daring eyes of his challenging self as if it's challenging you to look away.

“You are still here.....I thought-“

"You thought like everyone else I will also leave you alone here." His tone is monotonous, not even hinting any sort of emotions behind it, neither of caring nor even of hatred.

You nod your head obliviously.

He 'tsch' and shakes his head, footsteps approach you. You try to avoid the closeness, panicking you are looking everywhere to just run away from him. But deep down, you want to stay close to him, to hear his teasing voice and to make you annoyed until you glare at him and he will return you a playful wink. At least, he never made you feel alone or ever hurt you.

"Why?"

Why? It's obvious because am not a one to waste your precious time on. You want to scream this on his face but you feel your throat becomes heavy with a lump stuck inside. You are about to break down because you can't take this feeling that someone is waiting to hear your response. Caring for you.

"Please..go away...if you are here to tease me later for this then please go away."

"Do I hurt you?"

"Huh?"

"Do I hurt you with my teasing?"

"I d-don't know." No.

“Do I make you uncomfortable when am around you?"

No.

He paused but your lost eyes staring at him made him continue. "Do I burden you?"

No.

You want to scream but you can't utter a single world but gazing up at him with lost swollen eyes. His warm hands cupped your cheeks. Why are his hands warm and yours cold? Oh, God has a priority.

He is also drenched but not like you for almost over an hour. His few portions of the clothing are soaked but his hairs are getting wet fully, his umbrella lying upside-down at the side of the street. Why is he getting wet despite having an umbrella?

"Do you hate me?"

No? Yes? Do you? Well, you really didn't think of him like this way before. Do you really want him to go away? You never felt hurt because of him. Rather you enjoy his company. You don't know whether it's bad or not but you love his presence. His presence is the last thing that can burden you. When everyone is turning their back to you, he is the only one looking at you with mischievousness of course.

"Yunho...don't ask me this." Your fingers tightly hold his wrists but you are keeping his hands close to you, leaning to his touch more. Seeking the comfort in his warmth, you are feeling safe.

"Why?"

"I, myself don't know how to respond you."

The rain has stopped but the tears still keeping your eyes wet.

"Y/N, will you let me hold you like this forever? I can't see you broken like this anymore. You don't know how much it hurts me whenever I see you crying."

"What are you saying?"

“Everyone breaks you down but you try to stay strong. You put on a fake smile just to lie to yourself that you are fine. But I want to see the real you.”

“I-n-no...I'm fine."

"Really? Crying alone in the middle of the street under the heavy rain and I have to believe that you are fine like always."

"Why are you being like this Yunho? I hate when people show me comfort out of pity. I am used to being alone like this so just leave me and go away."

No, please don't go. You try to move away his hand but he doesn't budge and his cold eyes staring deep in your orbs as if it can read the hidden truth behind those tears. His thumbs brush over your cheeks, wiping away the tears which are rolling down. Why are you crying? He is not doing anything to you.

"This is why I never approached you to show my care. I always see you getting hate from the ones you have trusted and that's why I wanted to be someone to you whom you will have some different kind of feelings. I didn't want you to see me as others who is just pitying you but I wanted you to see me treating you like a regular person.”

"Different kind of feelings?"

He squeezes your cheeks and smiles at your silly face. Those slight dimples occurring in the end of his smile on the cheeks, your hands move upward to touch them and you can feel him lean to your touch and closing his eyes for a moment.

"Yes, puffer fish. Someone approaching you like you are a loner to their eyes and then suddenly turning their back to you when you actually started to lean on them. I never wanted that to happen between us. I wanted you to see me differently from others. So, I started to tease you and you have to agree that sometimes I have really made you laugh. Also, your glares, you think you look so angry and scary but you just look silly."

"Yaaa." You slap his arms and his dimples deepen when he smiles wider which brings a little smile on your lips.

And this is Yunho. The tease who doesn't leave a single chance to annoy you even at this moment when you are so vulnerable and confused with your feelings. But what is the meaning of different kind of feelings?

"I wanted you to see me as an annoying person who can make you angry, frustrated, getting on your nerves so you make silly faces at me when am too much overbearing and also laugh with me on my jokes. But-"

His fingers tracing your cheekbones and big doe eyes staring at your swollen eyes.

"But?" your voice is like a whisper but he can still hear you.

"But I always try to make you forget others, how they mistreat you, how they ignore you, how they hurt you. I don't want to see you cry over them. I want to see you smiling Y/N."

"Why are you doing this, Yunho?"

You are suddenly being held in a big warm hug, him holding you tightly as if you might blow away with the light breeze blowing after the heavy rain. Your body shivers due to the weather but his warm hug feels so comfortable and you wrap your arms around his big frame. Can you provide him the same warmth back?

"I can't see you like this Y/N. Please let me be a part of your life. Please."

Your body again shivers to the wind and he retreats from the hug. A part of your life? Which life? The one you don't even know what is the use of its existence where everyone knows just to hurt you and ignore you.

“Y/N?"

"Hmmm...”

"Let's go home. You will catch cold like this."

"I don't want to go home."

Why? The place where you feel secure, away from all the judging eyes but suffocating yourself with the thousand thoughts within those four walls of your apartment.

He suddenly picks you up in his arms, your shocked face getting a chuckle and wide smile from him.

"What are you doing? Put me down."

"Well, if you don't go by your own then l'm taking you like this."

"Yaaa put me down. You don't even know my place and if I start to shout right now, you will really be accused for kidnapping.”

"Hm that's right but I can say that someone was trying to end her life and I am just being her saviour. Also, I'm taking you to my place so please keep quiet and let's go before you really die of this cold."

Die? Yes, but will you be really okay after that?

"No. I will not go with you.?

"And I'm not leaving you here."

"Yunho...”

“Please Y/N.” His creased forehead and serious look urging you to agree with him.

You nod but still your thoughts are running as why you are trusting him so much. If tomorrow like others he will also leave you.Then? He will act as a stranger to you. He will avoid you as if today never happened between you two. His teasing will stop and he will hate you because he has seen you vulnerable so many times. You have cried in front of him many times but why you always show this side to him even when you had a boyfriend. Well, that shit was only there for you for a bet and just left you alone in the darkness when you were taking things too seriously according to him. How foolish of you! You thought he was the perfect one.

But this feeling being in Yunho’s arms and feeling safe and having the warm comfort, you never had this with your boyfriend and this thought is really disturbing you.

"Yunho...” He looks down at you when he enters the complex building to make his way towards the elevator. "Why?"

"What?"

"Are you really caring for me because we are.....we know each other?"

Pressing the twelfth floor by his elbow, he nods to himself.

"Because you are my four seasons of love."

"Huh?" Your confused face only got a tight smile from him. You ask him again but he didn't say anything instead waiting for the floor. You thanked mentally that other people didn't get in and see you like this even when you tried to make him put you down but his teasing was the only thing keeping you distracted. Ding! You have arrived to the floor.

He puts you down but still holding your one hand, the other one unlocking the door. With a pull, he lets you inside the apartment and locking the door behind. Your eyes taking in the new environment, each and every piece of decoration screaming richness, looking around the way, your eyes caught a photo frame of a family picture. You didn't notice when he left you there wandering on your own, returns with a towel in his hand.

"Is that your family?"

"Yes. That's our last picture which we clicked when I was in middle school.”

Oh! Suddenly you feel him put the towel on your head and starts rubbing the scalp and hair. You try to stop him and insist that you can do it yourself but he doesn't budge and continues. After having satisfied with your somewhat dried hairs, he gives you a pair of spare clothes to change into but your hesitating self is not willing to do it in someone's apartment.

"Are you really going to stand here in these clothes?It's already raining again and I don't think it will be nice for you to go at this hour. I will not let you go even if you put your rebellious acts."

"But I can wait until it stops raining.”

"You will let your clothes get dry on you? No way, I don't want someone to fall sick in my place.”

"Its okay."

"Do you want me to change your clothes or what?"

"Yaaa Yunho."

You hit his arm earning a loud laugh from him and he pat your cheeks directing you to his bedroom to use the personal bathroom and he will use the other one. After getting freshen up, when you make your way towards the living room, he is standing by the wide glass window showing the blurry city view behind the window because of raindrops hitting the glass.

"What are you doing there?"

He is in black t-shirt with matching trousers and hairs damp after shower and you in similar grey set but of his size. He turns around and scans your form which makes you a bit self-conscious. And man, he suddenly starts laughing holding his stomach which brings a frown on your face.

"Why are you laughing?"

"You look so funny in my clothes. Yo-you look like a kitten got dumped under a pile of clothes.”

You go beside him to take a peek at outside because you love to watch such views in rainy days. You shoot him a glare when he pinches your cheek between his laugh.

"It's not my fault that you are literally a giraffe.”

If there was no rain then the city might look so silent from up here, right? If I have lived somewhere like this, I would have got a better life, right?

You feel arms wrap around from your back and him resting his chin on top of your head. Your stiff body and lost eyes watching the reflection of yours on the blurry window that how much height difference you both have.

"I love you, Y/N."

Love you? Is he teasing you again? If yes or if no, in both the cases, he should not love you because, you don't want him to turn his back too when he will be bored of you. You don't want to lose him too.

"Don't. You should not love me. One day you will also get tired of me and leave me broken. So, it's better how we are now with each other. Like just...friends."

“Don't you want to hear my answers to your question?"

"Which one?"

"Why you are my four seasons of love?"

"Hm...Tell me.” Your fingers tracing some patterns on the glass against each raindrop hitting the frame.

“Tell me the sequence of seasons."

"Ummm Spring Summer Fall Winter?"

"Yup. I love you differently in every four seasons so I cant ever get tired to love you."

"What?"

"Let's start with spring. The season of love, the blooming start of every individual, every life and every relationship. We can start our first love in the spring when there will be bright sunlight with birds chirping as if a melody playing for our bond. Holding hands under the cherry blossom while knowing each other for the first time. The joy, love and beginning of our life will be in this season. Every year this season will be the start to our love from the beginning."

"Summer?"

"Summer is the season of explore, when our love will take the centre of the stage. The clear sky with blazing sun and warm breeze hitting our skin making us feel to be loved by each other. A warm love between us where we can explore into each other's depth like the way the whole world gets explored by the bright sunlight. We will travel together, explore the life and our love. The bond between us can be taken to a different stage where the only spotlight will be on our romance."

"Fall? Will our love fall here?"

"No. The beginning of fall is with rainy days when we can have our breakdowns. Don't think it as fall, see it as autumn. We can show our vulnerable selves towards each other without any hesitation. The grey clouds making the atmosphere dark and gloomy, the falling leaves from the living trees making it seem like a dead. Our relationship should show all its fault in front of our eyes. No one is perfect but our imperfectness makes each one of us unique and an individual to stand out otherwise we all would have considered same. We can cry with the rain, we can fail in our life but we will again stand on our feet the next day holding each other.”

"Winter?…….”

You can feel him nuzzling his nose into your damp hairs inhaling his shampoo, a smile ghosting over his face. Your one hand still busy on the glass while the other one takes a hold of his hand around you. A wave of comfort and warmth spreading over your body. You can sense yourself being held in safe hands, protected from this whole cruel world and him describing you why you should let him to love you. But winter, the cold environment when every relationship drifts apart because of the numbness in their bond. Will it happen to you too?

“Winter. Well, the season of festive. The most romantic season when we can make more love with each other, we will support our decisions, will spend time together. When the whole world will be under the thick cold white blanket of snow, we will find the warmth in each other. The season when we can share our most hidden secrets and light up mysteries hidden in the cold darkness of our life. We will solve our problems and make love with joy in the festivals like Christmas eve and new year. We can also have one more thing."

"One more thing?"

He turns you around, caging your body between his warm frame and cold window frame. His hands resting beside each side of your face. His big doe eyes watching your every reaction on the face with a sly smile resting on his face and his puffy cheeks again making an appearance. Your hands on the window space keeping your balance leaning backward due to his close proximity. He leans forward to whisper in your ears.

"Winter is also known as the cuffing season. Maybe, we can plan our future in some other ways."

Your big round shock eyes earn a wide smirk on his face. He laughs when you hit his arms and try to move away but he holds you in the place with a soft look and an admiration in his eyes. As if you are the most precious aspect of his life which is resting in front of his eyes.

"Let me love you, Y/N.”

"Yunho. What if I don't deserve you?"

"We don't know ourselves what we deserve or not but we can give chances until we lose hope on everything. And I don't want you to lose hope on me. Please don't leave me.”

Leave him? This is the first time, someone is asking you not to leave them and you are sure you are not going to do the same thing like others did to you. With a last glance on his face, you hug him catching him off guard but he quickly returns you the hug. His cologne hitting your nose strongly and a spell of hope surrounding you both. His heart beating against your ears bringing a melody of love and your heart matching the beats. Your fingers curling to grab his t-shirt in your tight fist. Tears rolling down your cheeks and his hands moving up and down in your back to soothe your nerves with overwhelming feelings.

“Thank you, Yunho. I love you."

"I love you more angel.”

He pulls you away to press a soft kiss on your temple, on your eyes, on the tip of your nose and then pauses. Your heart racing with every kiss from his warm lips. With your closed eyes, you nod to him.

He closes the distance between your lips. Holding the back of your head and the other resting on your cheeks, he deepens the kiss. A passionate kiss for a blooming love. This is a perfect kiss like a dance, a symphony of lips and chance for a new beginning. A moment where time stands still and all the world is hushed and still. The outside loud cold rain is blocked by the window pane for the silent warm love inside. Only lips, no tongue, no other skin as if only the lips can swallow each other to protect them in a cage.

Breaking apart from the kiss, his forehead rest against yours and he presses a soft kiss on your nose. A genuine smile filled with joy dancing on your lips and he smiles back to you. Fingers wiping the fallen tears which are drying on your cheeks.

"I love to see you smile when it is raining."

"I love to see your soft puffy cheeks when you smile."

"And my teasings?"

"Yunho....” you whine on his ask.

"You will always be my four seasons of love."

Standing close to each other, in a warm embrace of love and the cold rain making the whole city gloomy except where you both found each other's happiness and love. Each drop of your loneliness, pain and disappointment is breaking down into love, joy and hope.

Your smile is the umbrella for you under the rain and the sound of falling rain is the rhythm to your life and he is the sunshine to make you dance in the rain. Yes, you are his four seasons of love and. And he to you?

"And,You will be my sunshine in every season."

Reblogs and Reviews are always appreciated. Please do me favor and reblog it🙂.

Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah [open!]

199 notes · View notes

thirdtidemouse · 6 months

Text

i have to do more bc she isnt rly brought to life yet.. she will change a LOT... but this is dylan :-] (hammarlund? underhill?) i couldn't not do a hilda oc and i couldnt not make it a nervous werewolf. she stresses herself out but is surprisingly organised about cooking, one of the famously stressful activities. she spends a full day planning out a meal, cooking for herself and kaisa (thank god. that nerd cannot cook) and then asks for detailed reviews.

she is very stressed out about being a werewolf though. she has just finished being a teenager and this is kind of that all over again. she does not want ANYONE to find out and confides reluctantly only in kaisa. what she fears is people fearing her, and she feels like the moment her life has been pieced back together again, she's losing grip, again. it's almost a black hound situation when the people of trolberg hear about a werewolf sneaking around. some episode centred around the mystery ensues.

she likes food + music! although she's more of an amateur at music, she owns + plays a guitar, a mandolin, a banjo, and a harmonica. very folksy. she has a swedish-welsh accent. try and imagine it please.

the default sister dynamic is kaisa getting home from work late (she probably lives in a flat in/around the library), and dylan being in the midst of homemade ravioli or something with a sauce that took 6 hours. kaisa asks about her day to be polite. dylan tells her about the sauce that took 6 hours, a long hike, 3 different invasive plant species, a lot of butter, and the use of powertools. kaisa has been re-shelving niche history of magic books but got so caught up re-reading them that it also took up 6 hours. when they have eaten dylan asks for her opinion and scribes the whole thing down in her notebook as kaisa voices her 5 star yelp review. they do not ask anything else about each others days and interact mainly through dylan slow-motion fake-punching kaisa while she is trying to just hang out in the living room or do her work and is ignored. only when she is in a very good mood will kaisa fake-punch back. dylan has a lethal case of younger-sister-that-is-taller syndrome.

sorry for my handwriting but the vague outline of her backstory WHICH MAY PROBABLY CHANGE is:

from the time she was 8 and kaisa was 21, they lived alone together. kaisa became a full-fledged witch between then and age 25, when suspicion against witches was on the rise for a short while - dylan never became a witch, but the only trusted adults in her life (basically kaisa and tildy) were, and they decided it would be best for her to grow up somewhere less troublesome. they were both pretty messed up about her having to move away, dylan holding some kind of spite toward her sister for a while, and kaisa feeling incapable, guilty and ill-equipped to take care of her.

she went to school in wales at 12, living with as-yet-unspecified family members/friends, and while kaisa almost immediately regretted sending her away, dylan adjusted quickly and spent the rest of her school career there. after a few years she forgave kaisa, because she ultimately enjoys her life, but she is stilll missed at home. at 17 going on 18 she became a werewolf (whether she was bitten or it was always in her somewhere?) and four months later she finished sixth form and called kaisa out of the blue asking if she could come and move in. since they didn't live in trolberg before, she's new to the city.

i will write more cohesively about her relationships to other characters/flesh her out more later, ESPECIALLY the werewolf stuff, but now i have to go to bed. thank you for reading :-] feel free to ask/suggest anything about her!! i love discussing hilda ocs

by the way this is i think my first ever actual OC? i've made up others before but they've just been single designs i've never really thought much about their actual selves because i suck at writing. dylan is the first one thats really stuck. part of her is based off myself and people i know, most of her is not. the main similarity between us is double-denim.

this is fun though. critique is welcome

(obviously her werewolf self is a swedish elkhound. i know the design kind of just looks like a furry im working on it)

#hilda the series #hilda netflix #kaisa #dylan #hilda oc #original character #im going to bed sorry this is not proofread

133 notes · View notes

cherrycola27 · 2 years

Text

Sleigh Ride

This is my contribution to @notroosterbradshaw #hello december playlist challenge I hope you all enjoy it

Pairing: Rooster x Reader

Warnings: None, just fluffy sweet goodness

...................................................................................................

"Bradley, you know I hate surprises, where are we going?" You grumble to your boyfriend who has had you blindfolded since you left your cabin.

"Just trust me baby. I promise you'll love it!" He assured you.

"You said the same thing about ice skating yesterday and I almost broke my neck." You reply.

Rooster had flown the two of you out to Virginia to spend the holidays with some of his aunts, uncles and cousins. You had spent the past few days tucked up in one of his aunt's cozy mountain cottages. The earth was covered in snow, and for the first time in your life, you were going to have a white Christmas. It was December 23rd and tomorrow the two of you were going to a Christmas Eve dinner with his family. Then, unfortunately you would spend part of Christmas day on a plane flying back to California to spend the evening with your father and stepmother... or so you thought.

"I promise you will love this... trust me." He told you. "Okay sweetheart, just a little futher and.... stop." Rooster said. He gently pulled the blindfold off of you and your eyes lit up.

There before you was a horse drawn sleigh decorated for the holidays. An older man sat on the driver's bench, and two gorgeous white horses stood ready to go.

"Rooster! You didn't!" You exclaimed. The two of you had been listening to the radio on the drive to the cabin and the song "Sleigh Ride" came on. You had mentioned that you had always wanted to go on a horse drawn sleigh ride though the snow, but growing up in San Diego, it was never possible.

You were bouncing in your toes you were so excited.

You two walked over to the sleigh and he quickly helped you in. Once settled you noticed Rooster had blankets and a thermos of what was probably your favorite peppermint hot chocolate in his arms.

"Are we all settled Mr. Bradshaw?" The driver asked looking at the two of you with a smile.

"We sure are Ernie!" Rooster called back as he handed you a cup of cocoa.

You had the biggest smile on your face. "I can't believe you did this for me. This is the best Christmas present every!" You squealed snuggling closer to him as fresh snow danced through the air.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that just yet honey." Rooster said as he kissed your head. He wrapped one arm around you while the other slipped into his coat pocket making sure the velvet box was stilll safely in there.

"I can't believe we are on an actual sleigh ride!" You tell him as you both take in the sights of the snow covered town. You're eyes are lit up like a child's on Christmas morning.

"A sleigh isn't the only thing you're going to ride today." Bradley whispers hotly in your ear.

"Rooster!" You squeak out smacking him on the shoulder. You look up to make sure the driver didn't hear what he just said as your cheeks flush from the cold and from embarrassment.

Rooster laughs and tucks you under his chin.

"We are almost there Mr. Bradshaw" Ernie the sleigh driver calls to him.

"Thank you Ernie." Rooster replies.

"Almost where?" You question him.

"To the second part of our surprise." Rooster smiles at you with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"Second part? Rooster... what did you do? Whatever it is... it's too much! This is more than enough!" You scold him

"Honey, when it comes to you, nothing is ever too much. I'm going to spend my whole life proving that to you." Rooster says before kissing you.

You sigh. God how did you ever get so lucky? Rooster was truly the best man you had ever been with. He loved you with his whole heart and soul and you could never imagine your life without him and honestly it's a miracle that you two ended up together. After everything that happened when you two were teens, you thought you would surely never see him again and you kicked yourself for never telling him how you felt.

But fate brought the two of you back together in June of last year when he came back to San Diego for a mission at Top Gun. You just so happened to be working at the Hard Deck the night he came in. He saw you and his eyes lit up. He spent the entire night trying to get your attention.

Once he had it he was by your side every minute he wasn't training and you were the arms he ran into when he got back, and he hadn't left them since.

"Sir, we are here." Ernie spoke as he pulled the horses to a stop.

"Bradley oh my God! It's beautiful!" You exclaimed as he helped you from the sleigh. The two of you were at an indoor winter garden that was full of bright white and red poinsettias, hanging baskets of vines, and twinkling lights.

"I'll be here waiting." Erine smiled, tipping his hat.

Rooster offered you his arm as the two of you strolled through the garden. It was absolutely beautiful. The lights sparkled against the plants and the setting sun cast everything in a beautiful golden light.

It was was cozy inside the glass garden as you looked around with amazement. You were also curious as to why no one else was there. But knowing Rooster, he probably rented out the whole place.

"Okay baby. One more surprise. I'm going to cover your eyes... no peaking" Rooster warned as he placed his larger hands over your face and lead you.

Soon, he walked the two of you into the middle of the garden.

He stopped and uncovered your eyes.

You gasped at the sight.

There was a beautiful fountain bubbling up, with dozens of candles floating in it. Fresh rose petals had been scattered on the ground.

"Roo—Bradley—what's all this?" You asked as tears pricked your eyes... this wasn't happening was it?

Bradley grabbed your hand and lead you in front of the fountain.

He knelt down and pulled a black velvet box out of his coat pocket.

You couldn't help it as a few stray tears escaped.

"Y/N, I have loved you since we were kids. The biggest regret I have in life was leaving you when we were teenagers and not telling you how I felt. I am forever thankful that God and fate brought us back together. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. So, would you please make me the happiest man on Earth. Y/N will you marry me?" Rooster's speech moved you to tears.

"Yes! Yes, a thousand times yes!" You told him.

Bradley had the biggest smile on his face as he slid the ring on your hand. You held it up and admired it. It was a round cut diamond set in a rose gold pave band.

"Bradley it's perfect!" You beam. "I'm so glad you like it baby. I love you."

"I love you too. This is the best Christmas ever!" You tell him as he pulls in in for a kiss.

"I can't wait until we get back to the cabin. I have to face time Dad to show him... wait... did he know?" You ask as the two of you walk towards the exit.

"Of course he did. I asked him for his blessing baby." Rooster tells you.

The two of you leave the garden and head back out into the cold. Ernie is waiting at the sleigh with a grin on his face.

"I hope congratulations are in order?" He says looking hopeful.

"She said yes Ernie." Rooster smiles at him. "Wonderful! Congratulations you two. If not that would have been a terrible waste of champagne." Erine laughs as the two of you climb on and see that he had placed a bottle of bubbly and two glasses for you.

The whole ride back to the cabin you can't help but stare at your ring. Rooster grins a mile wide everytime you look up at him.

When the two of you return you both thank Ernie and Rooster slips him a generous tip.

"Bradley... why is the cabin so dark, I could have sworn we left a light on?" You say as the two of you walk up.

"Not sure honey. Don't worry I won't let any scary snow monsters get you." He laughs as he fishes the key out of his pocket.

He opens the door and flicks on the light.

"CONGRATULATIONS!" A chorus of people yell.

You jump at the sound but smile when you see that Rooster's family has set up am engagement celebration party for the two of you.

"Everyone knew?!" You look at him with shock.

"Yeah, part of the reason we came out here is that the center diamond in your ring came from a piece of my mom's jewelry that my aunt had. When I told her I was planning to propose she insisted I use it. I designed the ring and she had it made out here for you." Rooster tells you.

"Oh my God." You sigh as more tears flow. If it was possible you loved your ring even more now knowing that it connected you to his mother.

"Sweetheart I'm so happy for you!" You hear your father's voice call out.

"Dad?!" You whip around to see him before he pulls you into a hug.

"What—what are you doing here?" You ask him.

"You think Penny, Amelia, and I would miss your engagement?" He asks you as you notice your step mom and step sister coming up to hug you.

"When I asked him for his blessing, I convinced Maverick and Penny and Amelia to fly out here to surprise you. They are going to spend Christmas here with us. It's going to be one big Bradshaw-Mitchell family Christmas party." Rooster tells you.

Your heart is so full, you're sure it could burst. You smile and look around at all the people who love you and Rooster. You couldn't ask for anything else. This truly was the best Christmas ever.

Tag List: @dreamingathighaltitude @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mak-32 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @rosiahills22 @thedroneranger @roosterforme @notroosterbradshaw

#top gun maverick #top gun #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #rooster top gun #lt. bradley bradshaw #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #tgm fic #tgm #tgm fanfiction #top gun 2 #hello december playlist challenge

180 notes · View notes

findroleplay · 22 days

Note

looking for mxm historical OC RP!

experiance: 3-4 years (rping with a smaller group of friends), newbie to the larger rp community!

details!!:

- i'm 17, look for someone around my age!

- practically only OC x OCs (i dont like rping as preexisting characters) (open to making more ocs if you have ideas for settings and plots, i love writing especially when collaborating HHWJSHWHE), MLM preferred (most of my ocs end up very gay so 💀)

- english is my second language, although i've been speaking and writing in it most of my life, i still may make some slight mistakes

- i rp in tumblr dms, but if its for some reason too much of an issue we CAN rp in discord, i just prefer not to

- i do historical and historical inspired rp primarily (i LOVEE history, you will find it in most of the rp i do), in terms of fandomless i am interested in: wild west, victorian, edwardian and medieval eras, greek/slavic/general mythology

- BUT media i am really interested in rping in isss: night at a museum and bridgerton primarily, percy jackson not so much but stilll

- NO smut

- tropes ive done the most: slow burn, friends to lovers, found family, misfit/outsider, mutual pinning (those the MOST like all my rps had at LEAST one (but all were slow burn and misfit) (ill be fr i only do slow burn and misfit...)) enemies to lovers, various academies/schools, past trauma, forbidden love, abusive/no parents, hurt/comfort, i also dont take my rp too seriously- i include a lot of humor!

- practically all of my characters are slavic/balkan (like me!) (this is always a thing so might as well warn abt it 💀)

- total newbie to the larger rp community however from what i understand most of what ive done is called "short form illiterate rp", however i REALLY enjoy longer replies and i really want to look into and try lazy and regular literate rp!

- i rp and reply mostly or at least once daily (unless ofcourse i/you notify the other that you cannot that you are busy or sick or anything) so i want someone semi-active!

- lot of communication and plotting out OOC is required! im autistic and prefer everything to be cleared up like that 😭

in short, i am willing to rp a lot of things in all forms as i want to explore the community, i adore collaborative writing so more then willing to brainstorm together and plot out rp and ocs in detail (literally if you like historical stuff and all this seems okay to you just reach out with your oc or setting or ship or whatever idea ILL LOVEE TO MAKE SOMETHING UP TO RP WITH YOU im really flexible with it) but someone patient enough to let me make possible mistakes as i learn would be wonderful!

if interested, send a dm here!: @welcometotherpsideblog

#roleplay #rp #oc rp #original rp #fandomless rp #mxm rp #historical rp

6 notes · View notes

pbaintthetb · 3 months

Text

Lol watched Book of Mormon (and hoo boy possibly actually one of my faves I've watched on stage. Plot is average at best but the goddamn choreo and the lights- the act 1 finale? I digress) thoughts

You can never go home again, or more accurately, You can never go to Orlando again. Anyway Price probably needs a few years to resort his head and life before he can go to Orlando and appreciate it because currently I don't think he can seperate what he wants (needs) Orlando to be from what Orlando actually is...

Orlando and Salt Lake City are the same in the sense that neither of them actually exist and they're metaphors (ignoring the fact that they do, both exist). Both Nabalungi and Price songs about their favourite fictional (real) real (fictional) place are kinda tragic because it reveals the things they view about the world as fact. Hence why this place is so special. Yes comparing Price's pretty first world problems with Nabalung's concerns is a bit of a stretch but also it kind is the same thematically.

I do hope Nabalungi can get what she wants from Salt Lake City though, although not necessarily in Salt Lake city idc.

The vibe I had in the interval was that it was possible out of district 9 Price is the only one to have actually read the Book of Mormon, cover to cover. Cunningham explictly hasn't, the conversation about "latter days" made me wonder if the other mormons only kinda read it which-

leads onto my thinking that like Price's relationship with Mormonism is, in many ways, more academic/clinical. Like he's got that kind of obsession with religion that I personally associate with people who don't actually believe but either A. really want to or B. really want to disprove it. Price is firmly in A, but yeah like I feel like Price needs Mormonism to be real where he is in the plot (Orlando. If mormonism is real he can go back to Orlando. And it's worth it.) But he doesn't necessarily actually have that spark of genuine belief the other District 9 elders have ya get me? Like he knows it back to front he knows the logic, adn in the coffee scene talks about how a lot of it has always seemed nonsensical and incoherent to him. It's a set of rules and guidelines but idk if Price actually has like core real belief/faith.

When those extra rows of lights came down for Man Up near the end of act 1? Oh yeah you bet we were all in for a fantastic time then, you know good stuff is gonna happen

The lighting in Sal Tlay Ka Siti was beautiful, like I mean the actress's performance and voice were great too, but the lighting really sold the like kinda hopeful tragic nature of the song. She's so happy most of the time but that song, ugh, the tree branch gobos, the visible beams, the colour KSJDFJS:LKDF

Lol disco ball.

The set? It's so detailed? And they get it up so fast? LIke I know they drop blacks in "You and me (but Mostly me)" so it's more than the black out, but STILL?

Again, how do they get the waistcoats on so bloody fast in "Turn it off"??? (I do actually have theories about this but that's not the point, it's stilll so cool)

Maybe this is just the run i watched, but like the Mormons, other than being dressed the same are all roughly the same height (except Cunningham) so their numbers are so extra cool because they really do kinda blend and move as one unit and it's so cool to watch. Especially Hello and Two by Two where they all have black ties.

Did they just start a new cult at the end? Curious what most of the mormons are gonna do when they leave Uganda. Also curious if their parents got an angry phone call from the mission president and are just like.... why aren't they home yet???

BFN is an elder now? Okay... not gonna touch that and how that happened

Nabalungi's dad is fucking hilarious omg his delivery this guy

The only song I'd heard was "You and me (But mostly me)" but I had been told of the spooky mormon hell song. The latter slapped. Did not have Atilla the Hun playing flute on my bingo card that day.

^I loved the blacks coming in from all sides to trap Cunningham out of "You and Me (But mostly Me)" and leave Price as the star also like I knew the song but teh first "but mostly me" cracked me up

One of the incorrect names Cunningham called Nabalungi was "Nigel Farage" lol. Couldn't hear much of the dialogue after that.

About the incorrect name, Nabalungi has the patience of a saint for sure.

Oh during teh play i couldn't watch half of it because I was too busy watching the district 9 elders, but mostly Price reacting to it. It was hilarious. Price looked so fucking happy but like he was trying to hide it and was clapping Cunningham on the shoulder at one point.

As a musical, it's incredible, and it properly contextualises a few things people have said about it and how long it's been running. By "as a musical" I mean the general production of it n shit. The plot is pretty average, the songs have funny lyrics but a lot of the numbers probably won't hold up so well on sound track for me personally- but when you're watching it??? oh yeah. Oh yeahhh.

Oh, the pipes on the guy playing Cunningham, man. MAN.

You can never go to Orlando again.

#Book of Mormon #this is more for my personal reasons so I can recall my thoughts on it in the future #you can never go to orlando again #I don't think price lost his conviction or faith in mormonism but rather his conviction that mormonism was worth having faith in

8 notes · View notes

saebaragi · 6 months

Text

ranking nine percent's to the nines album just because

this was so hard to rank omg

#7: RULEBREAKER

youtube

first of all, sorry i didnt put the music video, is cuz this is focused on the song, the music video is distracting ok! i was surprised myself that i ranked this #7, i love rulebreaker very much and i'm sure she would be higher here if zhengting had more lines. just kidding (or not), i'm obssessed with rulebreaker, i mean it, don't get me wrong, the only reason shes last is cuz the other songs are just that good. i think rulebreaker is really special and the perfect title track for their debut

#6: GOOD THINGS

youtube

this one also surprised me while i was making the rank! i ove good things, shes so sprecious i don't know what i would do with my life if she didnt existed! i love my nine vocalists!! my boys can sing!!!

#5: EI喔EI喔

youtube

i think this one is c-fans favourite cuz shes the only one i can still listen to on spotify cuz i found this account that shares songs that are popular on douyin. if thats the care, i see their vision, ei oh ei oh is a great song with a refreshing summer vibe that is just so adictive and mesmerizing

#4: 离不开

youtube

talking about songs with distracting music videos, this one is so emotional... is a shame zhengting doesnt have more lines, i'm convinced iqiyi hatewd giving my boy lines, but is whatever ig, shes a really good ballad and i love her

#3: 一起跳舞吧

youtube

i have no words to describe my feelings for this one, shes iconic, shes exciting, shes fun, i used to put her on my alarm when i had to wake up early for therapy and it was really cool to wake up to so much good energy

#2: I NEED A DOCTOR

youtube

best ballad in the world, queen of the iconic bridges, miss mesmerizing music video, really, i could have putted the mv here but lets not lose focus i can talk abou i need a doctor musicvideo some other time, for now lets talk about how geniously she was constructed, xukun's intro edited like that starts the song already very heavenly, then we have yanjun's beautiful voice right after????? urgh shes (i need a doctor) is historic!!! and dont even let me get started on the brigde, is just too good, sometimes i can't believe this song is real

#1: 了不起的9%

youtube

friends and non-friends HER!!!!! as the name of the song implies, this is nine percent being extraordinary, this is nine percent being amazing, this is nine percent showing what they were here for!! i'm very addicted to justin and zhangjing's voices in here, and zhengting opening the brigde is always a promising formula. i love listening to her at the gym cuz it makes me forget that i actually hate the gym and also she never fails to give me a energy boost

[breaking news!] i think we as a society were so much better with nine percent, like, 2018-2019 was the best years of my life, you think is a coincidence? i don't think so. even if iqiyi was kinda homophobic for not giving them more songs i stilll treasure this 7 little ones with my whole being and i'm happy and proud of my 9 boys for all they accomplished since then (and if i wake up in the middle of the night wanting to scream and cry "nine percent pls come back to me" that's like, unrelated)

1 note · View note

aajjks · 1 year

Note

I have a problem. I really don’t know where else to go with this. I’m sorry to dump all this on you I just don’t know where to go to and I’m to embarrassed to just message you. Maybe even other can help? I don’t know.

My best friend (A) and I have been friends since we were kids. We grew up telling each other everything, sharing clothes, constantly hanging out etc. When we were around 13 we met this boy (J) who was soo awkward and shy and I thought he was ugly and annoying meanwhile J thought he was adorable so she befriended him.

He instantly started following her around like a lovesick puppy. She truly is someone they not only him but other gravitate to, she’s seriously an angel on this planet. As the years go on I can clearly see how much J loves A; he didn’t like physical touch but would let A all over him since her love language was physical touch (she was abused as a child and didn’t like being touched so if she touched you she felt safe with you, he knew), hates sharing food with anyone but would always push his food into her plate if she didn’t have much (she had an issue with not eating and he knew) or just buy her her favorite food, always gave her his jacket, she grew up with 4 little brothers so it was hard for her to focus on hw when her single mom wasn’t home she he’s go over and play with them so she could have her own time, gave her massages, constantly remind her he was proud of her. Point is he’s always been in love with her. Well after he confessed to her how he felt they got together when they were around 17-18 and they’ve been together for almost 7 years. They moved in together around 3 years ago and are still going amazing together. I was with my boyfriend for a few months before we broke up and I had no where else to go. My family and I stopped talking after a huge fight over my exbf and I’m just to petty to say sorry. So A and J let me move in with them until I can figure this all out. Now.. my problem.. I see how much of a man J has become. Not just a man but a respectful, caring, loving, humble, protective man. He’s perfect. He’s my walking dream. I’ve gone from man to man my whole life because I hated the idea of settling down but living with J now makes me think it’s not so bad. A just gave birth to their first son little less than a month ago, he’s a premature baby but a month. He’s home now and A is still recovering from giving birth so J has made her stay on the couch/bed and he does everything for her. Although A has been getting better and up moving more he’s stilll overprotective of her. I’ve never had a man do anything of this for me. He feeds her when she’s to tired to move, he helps her shower when she don’t feel like it, he lets her sleep while he watches the baby. Everything. She has it so easy now and I hate it. The perfect husband and cutest son. I thought he did a lot when she was pregnant but now, seeing how well he takes care of her.. I love him and her son. Because of her upbringing she doesn’t trust many people with her child but when she’s sleeping in bed and J isn’t home, he has been working from home lately but he still has to go get things, I offer to stick around and watch him. But last week A was in bed sleeping after feeding him, he was in his crib that’s in their room, I went in there to get him to hold him. I was sitting on the couch when J walked in with more stuff for the baby and A, and I could help but feel like J was my husband coming home with things for me and our son. Now I feel like whenever I’m holding the baby he’s mine and Js. A hold her son a lot and she doesn’t like letting many people hold him and it’s making me mad, I have a right to hold the baby whenever I want since I help out. She walked in on me 2 days ago when I was trying to do skin to skin with the baby so we could create a bond like how babies do with mothers and fathers. We got into a disagreement when I called her out on not sharing the baby and she brought up how I needed to be focused on finding a place. But I can’t. One I don’t have money but who’s going to take care of the baby? also who’s will help J around the house? Since she’s gave birth all she does if take care of the baby and sleep pretty much. J was agreeing with her and that pissed me off to the max. He doesn’t see how lazy she has become how fucking spoiled he’s made her. I can be a better wife and mother than she ever could be. She’s always said we were a family but now she’s calling J and their son HER family when they’re OUR family. I hate that the best friend I thought was an angel is such a fucking bitch

umm idk what to say I feel I’ll say something you won’t like so… I’m sorry.

#asks

4 notes · View notes

vibesaresimplyatrocious · 2 years

Note

Dude your tags on that writing post are making me go wild because oh my gosh your fic does read like someone committing to the bit!! Like in the nicest possible way it does read like improv every plot point feels like a “yes and” moment and it’s AMAZING (also it’s great to know that the character assassination of Johnny Storm was not premeditated lmao)

oh yeah pretty much everything in it is just a "yes and" moment where I did something earlier and I decide to play off of it more. Like, especially in chewing coffee.

i decided to commit to chewing coffee because I had like. one specific scene with the avengers i wanted to write, and i needed a way to fucking get there. So i decided I'd just start with dealing with the narrative consequences of the last fic and I would get to the avengers when I figured out how to get peter's character emotionally to the place he needed to be for that bit. it's been three hundred pages, by the way. and we still have some decent ground to cover.

I like talking about writing and stories, so there's a huge fuckign data dump below the cut about how the improv developed and the johnny storm thing. don't feel obligated to read it, it's a lot.

One of my big pet peeves in stuff that has romance, especially when there's a "woman" character (since the omegaverse basically just always has a guy taking the "female" role in the relationship) is when that character's like. entire life becomes their love interest. Like nah. They have to have other shit going on. you gotta let them do their own things. having feelings for this person doesn't mean you don't have other shit in your life.

My other big pet peeve is when people do things for drama and then don't follow through with the logical consequences of that.

Which is one of the reasons why Matt's the love interest and has hardly been in the fic. peter's got his own shit going on. The biggest consequence of hand-spun silk wasn't them getting feelings for each other--that's manageable, even if they're going to be huge fucking dumbasses about it. It was the bridge. at the time, I decided i needed a big climax action scene thing to sort of make a transition moment in the narrative that would push matt and peter to commit fully to what they were doing. but the logical consequence of that is "wow the public got a HUGE FUCKING CLUE as to who this mystery omega is."

of course, i was never going to write chewing coffee, so i thought i was never going to deal with it. then, i wrote chewing coffee. so i had to deal with it.

so Peter's got bigger shit going on, and he's got a very full life outside of matt. Matt stilll adds to his life! even if they both have a huge amount of trouble realizing it, they both really love being with each other. They're both some of the most important people in each other's lives. But they still get to lead their own lives, which i find much healthier and does way better justice to Peter's character. Like, he is his own main character, and so is matt. Both of them are superheroes in their own right, and while they are huge allies, neither of them is less capable or some kind of damsel. neither of them is teh traditional hollywood love interest screaming for the hero to save them. So peter does not need his narrative chained to getting a boyfriend. he can get a boyfriend and stop a bomber.

and like. i want to be clear, i'm not shitting on romance as a genre. finding love can be the number one driving factor! that's okay! great even! especially if you don't want to have to devote a bunch of narrative space to a bunch of subplots. the pet peeve specifically arises when people set up a bunch of other stuff to make it more exciting, like some kind of villain or enemy, and either make it secondary to the love plot when the fucking murder attempt is objectively way more pressing, or when they make it into an excuse to damsel the "female" character for the love interest. Like, i'm sorry, peter can lift multiple fucking tons and you think the physically normal man is the one who does the rescuing? Peter is not a damsel. he has never been a damsel. like he looks like a twink but he is one of the most powerful heroes in comics and way too many people decide to damsel him just so whoever's playing his love interest can be a hero. In general, i don't like the entire trope of "love interest as damsel." Like. take MJ for example. She's been dangled off so many fucking bridges. but she's been in peter's life for forever. she's tough as nails and deserves having her own narrative and character independence outside of being someone you can dangle off a bridge.

I dunno, it's a balance that has to be struck for me, i'm not saying it's bad if love interests help each other. Like, Matt does help peter! Peter needed help that Matt specialized in (law), and Matt was able to help him! there's nothing wrong with needing help and matt and peter can and do pull each other's asses out of fires. but peter still gets to be strong and independent and capable and matt doesn't need to hold his hand through every fucking plot point, jesus christ. I think some of the best romances are ones where people are just looking at their partner being extremely badass and applauding. it just icks me out when one person is made less capable just so the other person can be a big fucking hero. so that's the number one thing i had in mind while improv'ing matt and peter's relationship.

I do plan on making matt more present in the plot, for the record! once i started getting a sense for what i was doing, i started realizing some things i wanted to have in there needed build up or they'd be coming out of left field, so we have a lot of narrative threads just set up that i'll be tying together soon.

The other reason why Matt hasn't been as present and will start being more present is because my biggest rule of writing is that I can never sacrifice character for plot. i've trashed and redone entire projects before because i decided that i hadn't brought the characters to the right point to make the decisions they were making for the sake of plot, so the plot had to go in order to make the characters right. it's more of a general vibe? the biggest guiding factor during all of this is whether I've gotten them to a point where I can understand why they're able to make the decisions they're making.

And there was no fucking way that Peter would ever get with Matt after hand-spun silk.

Part of this is because I very firmly believe that just sex cannot be a basis for a relationship, especially in the context of ABO. Like, if it's just that they spent a rut together? Nah. Losing control of your body and having hormone-fueled sex is not grounds for a relationship. if anything, it's the grounds for intensive therapy, not a relationship. Like, what do you like about their personality? how do you feel about their communication style? what if you hate the way they chew? Peter's never going to look at someone he just had a bunch of sex with and think "wow, we should be in love." Sex is great, fantastic, having good physical chemistry can be really valuable, but it's not the sole basis of love. He spent his entire life being objectified, and he's also someone who's in a very healthy long-term relationship where they had to work fucking hard to stay with each other.

MJ and Peter's love story was something that sort of strung itself together in the background and it became something I really, truly loved. Like, originally, I was trying to figure out how to just make Peter mentally good with offering to do this for a bro, and I decided he couldn't be in a relationship. He'd have to necessarily talk it through with someone else to clear it, and matt would have called the entire thing off the second it started causing more inconvenience than was already obvious, so that would derail it entirely. But I didn't want to do that thing where the preexisting female love interest is a huge bitch or inexplicably missing or whatever just to make way for a ship, so i decided that she was still a huge part of his life and decided to add in a gag where they called it on and off again like they were playing a game of hot potato. Inadvertently, that gave them an epic fucking love story of people who had to wake up every single day and make the conscious choice to love each other.

it's hard to show, because it's all stuff that happened in the past, but it's inherent in their everything. it's one of the reasons why they have such good communication--it was figure it out or destroy each other, and they figured it out. Inherently, Peter and MJ are extremely traumatized people subjected to structural violence and generational abuse. they spend every single day of their lives under extreme stress, from poverty and violence and inequality and fighting crime. their early relationship would have been a mess. they had to create ways to keep themselves from destroying each other. they had to spend a fucking decade meticulously laying boundaries and figuring out how the other worked best, and working fucking hard to respect and fulfill each other.

Like, most of it ended up written in their mannerisms. Like the scene where MJ's going off to get peter's camera--i fucking adored that scene, because Peter's arguing with her about how dangerous it is for her to go and how he doesn't want her to go while tying her shoes for her so she can go. That was extremely important for me because I felt it was the key to why their relationship ultimately worked. Because MJ would bitch slap anyone who tried to throw their weight around with her. She would never be with Peter if he was the kind of person who would think he could make that decision for her. Peter still gets a voice, he still gets to raise concerns, but he recognizes that it's her decision and he will enable her to make it. It's a huge act of respect and one of the fundamental building blocks of the way I made MJ's relationship with Peter was that they mutually respected each other.

The other thing I wanted was to make them deeply messy fucking people. That's why MJ's so crude in this--it's a choice, and a big source of trauma. She grew up in hyper traditionalism. I grew up in hypertraditionalism, and you aren't supposed to know what a dick joke is. You aren't supposed to swear. you're supposed to be perfect and ladylike and daren't say a word if the men say something unseemly and you shan't repeat such dastardly things.

Anyway, I have a mouth like a sailor and wrote a porn fic to see if i could. purity culture doesn't work.

So MJ grew up where she was just boxed in to only appear as perfect and ladylike as possible, so she went the opposite direction and became as crude as possible. she likes pushing people's buttons. she will make comments about your ass. And that's deeply inappropriate behavior at times. With peter and ned? They're used to it. They've consented to it. It's part of why they love her, actually. But slapping matt's ass? he didn't give her the green light to touch him like that, and she definitely wouldn't have done it if she hadn't been drunk. In the end, he didn't care, so no ultimately harm done, but there could have been harm done and she doesn't exactly get credit for lucking out. it doesn't mean that she's a bad person, it's just that she's not a perfect person and she does dumb fucking shit at times--which, everyone does. She's extremely messy, oversteps boundaries, and it's a direct product of trauma. Peter ain't exactly perfect either. he's borderline suicidially reckless and has trouble ever letting people into his decision-making process. He'll risk himself eleven days out of ten before giving an inch, which was one of the reasons he's nearly fucking killed himself with his heats.

So it ended with these extremely messy, imperfect people who had to try again and again to keep loving each other. So many romances, especially in the superhero genre, stem from some kind of inexplicable chemistry instead of conscious choice. MJ and Peter could have burnt out and stopped loving each other. They worked hard not to. That's important.

So Peter became this character that had an extremely hard won love that would have been invalidated every single day by people who thought biological chemistry was superior to a decade of fighting to be together. like, the omegaverse? It's fucking weird about biological predeterminism in general. one of the premises that i set for myself when i decided to do this was that i had to keep everything from the omegaverse but if it was something that was fucking stupid, i would make it a part of the stupid things that people believe or just a part of the absolute most extreme moments like heats and ruts.

like, for example, guys in my family would always say "men drink because they like it, women drink because they don't like something else." that's the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard. do they think gender affects your fucking taste buds? also, have they ever thought for even half a second about the sheer number of men who are alcoholics and drink specifically as a coping mechanism? Women have better tasting drinks than men because someone randomly decided that beer was for men and fruity cocktails were for women, despite the fact that cocktails taste better and have stronger booze. it's the stupidest goddamn thing i've ever heard. but the world is full of dumb shit about biological predeterminism just like your fucking drink preference. So everything i hated in the ABO world just became that kind of thing.

So that thing in the ABO world? The thing where people just smell good and that means you're fated because you both smell really good to each other and, you know, you can base an entire relationship off smell? or the thing where you find someone of the opposite secondary gender and immediately they're the perfect alpha/omega for you and you're ready to do everything with them immediately upon meeting? That's present in this world. It's a dumb thing people tell Peter when trying to convince him and MJ that they'll never be happy with each other, and that some dumb fucking frat bro alpha can do more for them with goddamn body odor than a decade of dedicated love.

So Peter was never going to be able to get with Matt after hand-spun silk. Absolutely not. He's way too traumatized for that. If anyone suddenly developed feelings for him after years of platonic friendship when the most notable thing that changed was that they fucked due to a biological demand? He would never, in a million years, believe that they could have fallen for him because of his personality. He'd think it was just them deciding he made a good omega for them in bed and he'd leave deeply fucking hurt. Even if he realized he developed feelings for matt in the aftermath, he'd never trust any feelings matt developed to be real. Peter was in his right mind. matt wasn't. It would eternally fall into the same trap of "I was just play acting at being his obedient omega and that's what he was into."

Like, Matt too, for the record, just for different reasons. matt would have never gotten with Peter after hand-spun silk becuase he has a guilt complex the size of jupiter and he'd never in a million years make a move on peter after the guy just nuked his own life to save matt from dumbassery his twenty-something self willingly committed. No. He's going to crush everything down deep inside and then one day he'll die. And, honestly, I do think that would have been the right decision had Peter not liked him back.

One of the core distinctions i made between Peter and Matt's character is that Peter is really good at dealing with his emotions in a healthy way but is absolute shit at recognizing them. Matt's dumb as a fucking post about dealing with his emotions but tormented by his own awareness of them. So Peter's big problem is that he will be fully into someone and shuffle that away as something that's obviously not his own emotions, pshhhh. Matt, meanwhile, woke up after his rut, realized he had developed feelings fucking immediately, and then had a panic attack in the bathroom.

I'd like to go on record that neither of them developed feelings for each other because they fucked. it's because they, necessarily, had to be more intimate with each other than they would have ever been with like, their regular bro, and it made them realize that this person who'd they'd already die for is someone they'd really like to live for too. They had to go to bat for each other. Peter destroyed his own life to help matt. More than once, Matt fought through his hormones to try and give Peter an out because he'd rather he be hurt than Peter be hurt.

And, it's also the little shit. They talked a lot about things that they never would have talked about otherwise and realized how deeply they related to each other. they did a lot of little acts of intimacy, like when peter would scratch the base of Matt's neck because he liked it or when Matt would deny his impulses to help peter through anything. Neither of them really had to do that for the rut. They did it purely just as acts of caring, and those were the bits of each other that they got feelings for.

And those nice feelings would almost absolutely be crushed down forever in the aftermath of a rut. you'd have to drag them kicking and screaming to emotional realization. there's a lot of fucking work to put in before they can get past their own issues and realize that it's okay to give each other a shot.

I have a LOT of thoughts about the Johnny Storm debacle. It's going below, so if you're interested, read on. Some of it is what's outside of Peter's perspective and therefore not featured in hand-spun silk or chewing coffee. I doubt it will be able to make it into the fic, just because there's a lot that gets missed when you limit it to one character's perspective. There's still a chance it may come up, so there's a risk of spoilers.

The Johnny Storm thing is something that i think is a lot more nuanced than i was able to show. Part of it is that i made it up totally on the fly so it was very sloppy execution. Like, if you go back and read the Johnny parts of hand-spun silk? i shift the goal posts a LOT because i was still developing Peter's own character and figuring out how he would respond to all this. The other part of it is because this is totally from Peter's perspective, and so we have kind of a coke-bottle lens view of it.

See, the thing about the Johnny Storm thing is that i think it could have been a relatively minor speed bump in their relationship, and then circumstances, a few very poor choices, and plain bad luck blew it up into something major. I also think that Johnny Storm and Peter Parker would be great together, but that they could never work in an omegaverse specifically.

in the comics, i think they're fucking great together and make a fantastic ship. In the ABO world specifically, i think that Johnny would be ass over tea kettle in love with Peter, and Johnny would at best be a ship in the night for Peter.

Because the thing is, from Johnny's perspective, he was legitimately in love with Peter and did not ever want to hurt him.

I want to be clear, I'm not excusing the dumb shit he did. I have explanations for it, they're discussed below, but they're not excuses. He has to bear the blame all the same, but I think that it adds a little more nuance and makes it a little more tragic.

He was legitimately in love with Peter and it wasn't because of the rut in the same way Matt didn't get feelings for Peter because of the rut. Like, nothing about why Johnny fell for him had to do with the bits where Peter had to put on a show of being the perfect omega for him. Johnny actually really, truly loved him way better when he wasn't play-acting at being the perfect omega for him--which is why, at one point, Peter mentions that Johnny always made dumb fucking jokes during the rut and it would always snap him out of pretend and he'd instantly threaten to kick johnny's ass. Johnny really liked Peter's like, actual personality. He figured out early in their friendship that dumb fucking jokes always got a rise out of Peter, so he memorized them ahead of time and brought them up whenever he had enough sense to so he could get back to how Peter is normally, because that's the Peter he loved.

(which was another distinction I tried to draw between Matt and Johnny, incidentally. I decided to give Matt an identical moment in the rut where he was aware enough to realize that Peter was playing things up to cater to his hormones and try to get back to Peter's actual personality, which is the one that he actually had feelings for. However, Matt said directly to him that he was aware that he was putting on a show and let Peter consciously drop out of the headspace he had put himself into in favor of his genuine personality, whereas Johnny sort of tried to draw him out. Neither had any ill intentions behind it, but Matt's more consciously communicated with Peter.)

The thing about Peter is that he is the first partner Johnny ever had that treated him with the love and respect you'd give an actual partner, and they weren't even actually dating.

This entire thing has been a big mash up of the comics and the movies and the only rule is that I steal whatever i find funny. Like, Peter? I know most people think he's tom holland peter because of MJ and Ned, but his basis is actually comics Peter for me. Ned and MJ (and the Toomes plane crash) were the funniest fucking things from Homecoming for me, so I kept it. He has the key to the city like Tobey!Peter (because how the fuck do you explain having that, that's the most useless piece of decor over a guest can never see it) and a lot of the lines and personality i get from Andrew!Peter and most of the backstory and attitude is comics peter. Like, imagine whatever fucking Peter you want, I don't give a shit, I want everyone to have their own experiences with this fic, but all of the characters are really just a frankenstein, and Johnny is no exception.

Like the comics, he became a superhero when he was still a teenager, is the thing. He's been in the spotlight forever. Celebrity culture is fucking toxic as hell and he sort of was drowned in it young. Like, the thing in the movies, where he's dating an eternally changing supermodel who goes on live TV and announces that the most important thing about dating the human torch is fireproof lingerie? weird straight people celebrity bullshit. why would you ever fucking say that outloud to millions of people jesus christ. and it's all this johnny has ever really known, relationship-wise.

Like, it's give and take. He's not exactly a passive participant or victim or whatever. He likes having sex and has a lot of it (and there's nothing wrong with that). He fully wanted Peter Parker to be a notch on his belt and nothing more when they first met, and his expectation was that Peter Parker would be another person who wanted to happily fuck a celebrity--and then would probably post on Twitter a full review of how he was in bed, without ever asking Johnny and with Johnny never consenting to it.

So Johnny made the stupid fucking decision to roll up to Peter in a sports car to ask him if he could take Peter for a ride, and Peter immediately fucking laughed in his face, asked him if he thought dick size correlated with how stupid your car was, then proceeded to call MJ in front of him and heckle about it for seven minutes straight before walking off to catch the subway. this peter believes in eating the rich and was deeply unimpressed.

Like. johnny benefits from his public image, dont get me wrong. He gets a lot of hook ups because of his image and certainly isn't upset by this fact. But the standard that was set when he was very young and dating for the first time and getting his heart broken for the first time was that his body was public narrative and he was being used for his name and the publicity attached to it. he got fucked up by it. It was a long string of toxic relationships that usually ended up on the front page of a lot of tabloids--and that's how it always was and that's all he ever expected. his nudes get leaked without his consent and everyone acts like it's a completely okay thing on the person's part, and he should have known better and is at fault. his exes sell interviews. he gets photographed on his walk of shame and the person he hooked up with goes on ellen to reveal that he does perform oral. and i'm not going to say he was comfortable with any of that, he wasn't, he hated it, but he wasn't looking to change the status quo--partially because he didn't fully believe that the status quo would change, partially because he was having fun with hookups and wasn't looking to settle down (which, again--as long as both people go in knowing that's all it is, is not a bad thing). He'd always be johnny storm. There'd always be a price tag attached to intimate parts of his life, and a lot of fucking people would be more than happy to cash in.

Peter would rather rip out his own appendix than be publicly known as the person who risked getting set on fire to climb on Johnny Storm's dick, however.

So, for the first time, Johnny found himself in a relationship where the person was genuinely only in it for him. Peter didn't want the novelty of fucking a celebrity. He didn't want to go on a talkshow or go viral because he leaked a picture of johnny's dick. He rather violently and aggressively cared about Johnny and Johnny alone, actually. It was sort of Johnny's first experience ever, after years of dating in the public eye, where he was in a relationship where no one was looking to exploit him. The other thing was that they did this for a long time. This was a month they spent together, most of which didn't involve Peter having to play pretend because that wasn't necessary until right before the rut.

And from Peter's perspective, they did the same shit they always did, just with sex, so there wasn't any change. From Johnny's perspective, he got to spend a month in constant contact with someone who genuinely cared about him, was hilarious and ridiculous and one of the best fucking people he had ever met. Like, he loved that Peter brewed coffee with red bull. He thought it was ludicrous. He was in love with how ridiculous Peter was. So he found himself wanting to keep with it afterwards. he wanted his relationship to be with someone who genuinely cared about him and treated him with respect the way no one else had.

The problem was they were never in a fucking relationship in the first place, which was a slight wrench in the works.

There are three reasons why it blew up as bad as it did/why they would never work, and that's 1) outside forces, 2) privilege, and 3) just plain dumb immature love.

Outside forces:

This is the absolute biggest thing that I think sank them, and it's kind of sad in the sense that it was legitimately outside of Johnny's control. The media is the biggest one. If they got together, eventually, the news would get out. It would be chaos. Like. Johnny's an A-Lister, and a fucking superhero A-Lister. In the public eye, Peter's a total nobody. It would be rabid. It'd be like if every wattpad fanfic about one direction falling in love with some random girl from fucking iowa or whatever the trope is came true.

I could write an essay on how biological predeterminism and natural law resulted in like 97% percent of modern issues and inequality, but this is already too long for anyone to read. but the omegaverse would undoubtedly be 1000x worse about it, holy fucking hell. which means the way we treat women in our world? even worse in the omegaverse.

The public narrative fully thinks that he's a slut who will fuck any cape that looks at him twice. He's been considered a slut since before he even agreed to fuck Johnny. It was a given, and Peter knew that going into it. Like, no one had any illusions that the human torch was going to find a nice omega for his rut and settle down in holy matrimony before they so much as graze each other's hands god bless amen praise the lord jesus christ. The expectation is that whoever would be sharing the rut would just be doing it casually. that's PEAK slut behavior. Peter's a public whore from the start, and while it always bothered him, he didn't care about that nearly as much when there wasn't any chance people could find him or his loved ones.

If he actually ended up with Johnny? Nightmare situation. Jesus Christ, he'd never know peace. People would hate him and be jealous of him and psychoanalyze everything he ever did. he's queer. He's in love with MJ, a fellow omega. he drinks red bull with coffee and is a fucking mess. he wants zero children. Johnny's an alpha, and a superhero to boot. People would eternally expect him to be the perfect omega and it would not fucking work out.

And that's something that can be overcome, don't get me wrong. The important people in the relationship are teh ones actually in it. But it's a huge stressor factor, and It's one I don't think they could have overcome for other reasons.

The other big outside stressor is the Fantastic Four.

Full cop, I don't like Reed Richards. I think he's a dick. He is the only one i directly was trying to character assassinate. for the record? they were fully in the wrong for everything they did. But I think most of the shit they pulled arose from assumptions that would have been extremely likely had it been anyone other than Peter.

because from their perspective, they're trying to protect Johnny from what's already been the biggest violation of his life.

his private health information got leaked by people they hired, and it became a talk show matter. johnny was visibly tormented by it. they felt like shit and knew it was only going to get worse. he was going to live with whoever did this talking about his dick for a solid year after. it was going to be brutal if he ended up hurting whoever he fucked. they were in damage control mode. legally, NDAs around sex cannot be enforced (a lot of celebrities try to have them--it's just a scare tactic. not a court in the US would ever enforce one. it's legitmately impossible to make them binding, but i won't get into why). so whatever happens, it's almost definitely going to make the news.

Then, in strolls baby brother, having announced that he found an omega all on his own.

and it's a fucking reporter from the superhero slander newspaper. They were fully convinced that not only was peter doing this for fame, but this was basically a work assignment for him.

All of Peter's butting heads with them was him setting very healthy and necessary boundaries. From their perspective, it looked like he was trying to increase his bottom line.

He was forgoing all health precautions--because he refused to fuck their brother in a monitored room on videotape with eight medical professionals watching at all times and the EMTs and the fucking fire department in the next room listening to him get it on. he's got superhealing and a precognition for danger that let's him know when johnny's getting too riled up and he needs to calm him down or dodge a dick fire. From his perspective, danger is minimal and he isn't making a fucking sex tape or putting on a week-long peepshow for a bunch of total strangers.

The F4 saw a totally normal unenhanced human willing to get third degree burns inside of him if it meant that he'd get a bigger payout when he appeared on oprah.

Same thing with pregnancy. Peter demand a certain level of dignity from the proceedings. He was going out of his way and fucking a friend, their baby brother, exclusively for said friend's benefit. He gets the fucking dignity of not being treated like a cheap whore who needs to be monitored to make sure he's not going to baby trap someone he'd never be able to get otherwise. He was not going to let the Four watch him take the contraceptives or the pregnancy tests of his own free will, because that's fucking humiliating.

For the F4? Great, not only is Peter going to leak this all afterwards and break Johnny's heart, he's definitely going to be an eternal source of emotional devastation because he's looking to get a fucking child out of this that Johnny will forever be tied to.

And the problem was that it was all based on the assumption that Peter was doing this out of self-interest. And they don't get a pass for treating someone fucking terrible just because they thought he was going to hurt their baby brother down the line. But without the context that Peter was spider-man and a good person, it was the plainest thing in the world that he'd be leaking all of this. So the F4 became a huge source of stress and bad feelings that constantly hung over anything Johnny and Peter could have had.

Privilege

This is another thing where Johnny wasn't consciously trying to do something bad, but it is something that sort of made everything worse. Johnny's rich. A celebrity. Male. An alpha. White. He's about as privileged as you can possibly get.

And I think that it's important to note that that's not a source of fault, but it is a thing that you have to be aware of. And I didn't think Johnny would be aware of his privilege throughout this and it would make everything worse, simply because his privilege never really came into play with Peter.

Peter could not care less about whether or not Johnny was rich, or white, or an alpha. In fact, that's more likely to be an active deterrent than anything else. So Johnny walked in with the mindset of "this is someone who just cares about me for me. he doesn't care that i'm famous or rich or whatever. we just care about each other's actual selves." And that's true!

Doesn't take into account every fucking other person on the planet, though.

A lot of Johnny's fuck ups were directly sourced in the fact that he didn't consider his privilege. He sort of took this on with the mindset of the media being a storm they'd have to eventually weather together, if they did end up together. And he's used to that. He's been eternally in the public eye for years. It's hell, but it's something you can get through together. but he didn't consider that that storm would be extremely different for someone who had money, resources, clout, who wasn't an alpha, and also who wasn't at times in a publicly queer and interracial relationship.

The media storm for Johnny is horrible and invasive. For Peter, it's "hey, haha, is Someone Going To Kill My Entire Family." Johnny didn't even think about showing up on Peter's doorstep with roses, because he's never even goddamn had to pay rent before. it didn't even occur to him that this may make people come to try and kill Peter and his family (Peter's fucking Spider-Man--he's the last person in the world to worry about handling some random fangirl) and it didn't occur to him that it may put Peter in the very difficult position of not being able to afford to move. Johnny's already been to Peter's apartment before. So he didn't even think about how showing up with roses would end with months of serious agonizing stress for Peter.

And it's not an excuse, but it is an explanation and it is something that he has to learn from. Like, there's a lot of fuck ups i've unthinkingly done because i didn't even know it would be a fuck up. i've been privileged in ways I wasn't aware of and ended up with egg on my face. In Johnny's case, that wasn't a minor fuck up you learn from and move on from, it spiraled into something bigger than it otherwise might have been.

Immature dumb love

The last factor in why this went the way it did was simply because this was very much this Johnny's first real time being in love and he was sort of fucking stupid about it.

Like, Peter's lightyears ahead of Johnny when it comes to "being in love" maturity because he has intensive experience. He and MJ had to fight for their fucking lives figuring out how to navigate a relationship. Johnny's never once been in a real one that didn't come with the expectation of "hey so we're gonna fuck around for a while and in the end you're inevitably going to leak my dick pics and tell everyone that i'm good with my tongue and get a spot on a night show from it, and I'm going to feel embarrassed every time i leave my home for a while." Johnny's like. Early twenties. People in their early twenties have a vast fucking range of things they're really mature in and things they're total fucking dumbasses in. i'm 23 and i've got things i'm lightyears ahead of my peers in and things i'm like a toddler in. He's young and fucking stupid about some things, and in this case? He fell in love for the first time and blue screened completely.

he got butterflies and set himself on fucking fire on live TV at the mention of his crush, inadvertently starting a media frenzy. You could see his crush from fucking space. he had no idea how to handle doing this like an adult, because every other relationship started with making a pass and immediately hooking up. He tried that with Peter and Peter asked him if he thought dick size correlated with how stupid his car was he has no backup plan. So he just started choking on his own dumb feelings.

For the record? His intent was never to make Peter feel like he was less capable. He knows Peter is capable. But he got within twenty fucking feet of peter and ended up choking on his own panic and emotions like a school kid with a crush. So he just ended up hanging around his crush and fumbling around him and checking in with him way too often and being extremely conscious of how sweaty his palms are or how many times he asked Peter how he was doing in the span of one conversation, fuck that was too many this got weird.

But we don't see Johnny's internal reasoning. We see his actions through Peter. Who has spent his entire life being pushed down and treated like he's some helpless damsel when he's the most competent person in any room he's in. So everything gets filtered through a narrator who's not entirely reliable, and intentions get read in that aren't exactly there.

Johnny's plan when confessing his feelings was to try and handle it like an adult. He dressed up and got roses, because that's what Sue told him you do when you're trying to make a big romantic gesture. He was going to confess his feelings as best he could and respect Peter's decision no matter what.

.... And then he walked right into the knowledge that Peter was in that very moment fucking another alpha and got brutally kneecapped by his own disappointment. His entire plan got put on the off-step.

When Peter let him down, what was going through his head was that he was extremely disappointed and didn't want to put that on peter, so he wanted to give them space so Johnny could get over him and not impose his feelings on Peter unfairly. What came out was "let's not be friends for a while," which isn't actually what he meant but people don't say exactly what they mean in the moment a lot. He realized that after the fact, got panicked that he might have fucked up the best friendship he ever had, and then fucked up even worse by trying to fix it in the moment instead of respecting the words Peter was actively telling him. And that's still his fuck up, and he still needed to respect boundaries. But the reasoning wasn't "I don't see you as someone worthy of respect," it was "i'm in a panic spiral and making poor decisions."

The worst, most egregious thing Johnny did, and in my opinion the one that's the absolute hardest to forgive, was when he started a public fight with matt on the bridge where he directly talked about peter's fucking sex life in front of people.

Like holy fucking hell, that one there's no real valid explanation for. Like, i included it because comic book characters, especially Johnny Storm, are very impulsive and hotheaded and a lot of people do fucking stupid things in the heat of a bad moment. It was an act of total immaturity, jealousy, and the culmination of a lot of disappointment and bad feelings that resulted in him saying a lot of really fucking dumb things that he regretted immediately after he said them and has been absolutely torturing himself over ever since. And, once again, his regret doesn't excuse his actions, and it's up to peter as to whether he'll ever get forgiveness.

I think the entire Johnny Storm thing, under different circumstances, could have been minor. Johnny could have confessed his feelings, Peter could have turned him down. Johnny could have swallowed his disappointment and they would have moved on. But a lot of outside stressors, bad timing, and people being their worst selves resulted in Johnny fucking up with way worse effects than otherwise it could have been. His decisions are on him, don't get me wrong, but I think sometimes just plain bad luck can also lead us to being worse versions of ourselves. I will say that a lot of the harm he caused was unintentional, and he is actively in deep regret over it--and not because he lost out on a romantic partner, for the record. He regrets hurting the best friend he ever had, hurting someone who helped him at dear cost to himself, and potentially losing him forever.

#chewing coffee #this is very long due to who i am as a person #i wrote an extreme slow burn after having them fuck for eight chapters straight like i'm just long winded #i answer comments on the fic like this too it's ridiculous #why am i like this

15 notes · View notes