Broken Pieces - Weeks
nothing like a calming bathtub.
Ren is not CPR certified.
Here is the masterlist for Broken Pieces, which is part two of the Unsalvageable Collection, please be sure to read Window Panes first. Here is the link to my Mega Masterlist, and my Random Ren Masterlist for more.
TW/CW: NSFW, degrading, not sexy talk degrading, explicit references to previous assault, flashbacks, triggering talk of child abuse (there is none, not once will there be in this fic), betrayal, infidelity, Dateline w Lester Holt, mentions of previous pregnancy, miscarriage mentioned from Window Panes, childbirth, breastfeeding, very apparent Stockholm syndrome still in place, therapy talk, Planned Parenthood, very talkative conscience, the narrator is losing her mind, Tom is Draco from Harry Potter, you’re welcome.
“Fuck, that feels good.”
You rolled your eyes, shifting slightly on your side to get a better angle with your wrist. Smushed into a pillow and Ren’s bare back, scratching thick lines with your nails over the naked skin while he moaned into the dim evening.
“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, pressing his forehead into his pillow dramatically, “You’re so good at this, I missed it so much.”
You scoffed, “I’m just itching you like you asked, nothing special…”
Ren’s head turned to peer over his shoulder, hair flopping around wet from his shower, “It’s just been a while since I’ve had someone do this for me.”
“I used to do it,” you stumbled over the rest of that thought because you used to do it before. When you were a prisoner/lover in his dungeon of a home, and then he was sent away to prison with no one to cuddle with…
“What was it like?” you blurted out, pausing your scratches.
Ren’s back tensed up, muscles clenching with irritation. You hadn't spoken about his time in prison, how he had only tried calling you once. That he sent you random letters with trinkets he thought you’d like, or how the last words he said to you before going in was, ‘I’m going to kill you!’.
“What do you mean, love?” his tone was sharp, leaning off the bed to sit on the edge. Still facing away from you but now illuminated by the bedroom lampshade. Showcasing the red puffy scratch lines from your fingernails, along with some other deeper cuts you must’ve missed the last time you’d checked.
Ren was always scarred under all his clothes, even when you were younger. But you’d never asked, he wouldn’t tell you anyway. However, some of these were fresher, still scarring and pink like they hadn’t had time to heal enough.
You rolled on your back, looking down at your twisting hands while you thought about what to say next. Your curiosity peaked, desperate to know if he missed you, and desperate to know if he watched you or sent people to monitor you.
It made sense really, the strange notes and gifts delivered around the time of your pregnancy. The phone call at your baby shower, how he knew Tom’s name without mentioning it to him. You had to know, the lizard brain squealing for validation from all the years you felt alone and guilty for missing him.
Ren cracked his neck, the popping sound making you flinch from your spot. Tugging your blanket under your chin, he turned a little towards you. Showcasing a deep scar that you’d never noticed before across his abdomen and up towards his pec. You traced it with your gaze, feeling every raw slice of the skin on your own, feeling the painful toll that must’ve caused it, the complete agony-
“What was prison like, Ren?”
He popped his lips a few times, bringing a hand to lay on your blanketed chest. Just a slight amount of pressure on the bandages, “Why do you want to know?”
You paused, trying to take a few calming breaths under his glare.
“I just thought I’d ask,” you shrugged it off, “You kept me locked away for so long, I just wanted to know how you liked it.”
Ren’s hand was around your throat faster than you could blink, squeezing the light from your vision in a violent transition.
Another hand made its way to your scalp, ripping into your hair while your hands scrambled to latch to his wrist. Snarling above you, “You know nothing of what I went through, stupid girl.”
Your head lolled to the side, silently screaming for him to let up. Lips popping while he squeezed enough for your ears to burst, “Plea-a-s-e…”
“I spent every day fighting,” spit flew from his bared teeth, caving in on your blackened vision. Spots filtering in and out, you were surely going to die for this. He wasn’t letting up, voice warbling through your jelly ears, “To think of any way to get out, to get home to you. Fighting to stay alive and in one piece. You think I’m scary? That I’m violent and punishing? I met men who ate people like you for breakfast. Do you fucking get that? I needed to get out.”
You nodded, tears streaming down your cheeks, gasping as your vision went out. Moments before you would pass out, you heard his voice turn gentle again.
“I needed to get out to see you.”
—-----
“Ren,” you spoke from the kitchen, not looking up as you chopped away at carrots. Next would be celery, maybe some salami for a nice pasta salad for lunch. Luke loves eating it back at home… you thought it would be nice to have something to remember it by.
“What?” Ren's voice echoed from the living room, glued to the couch watching TV. Beer in hand while he sat and stared, the news was talking about local weather or something else.
Too domestic for your taste.
You sighed loudly, whispering to yourself, ‘asshole’, making a show of how annoyed you were with his attitude. Since getting across the border, you’d refused all of his advances. Even when he pinned you to the mattress, choked at his hands, and delirious from the blood rushing to your ears.
Pushing him off you when he leaned over the couch to caress your scalp, play with your hair. Kiss your face in long languid strokes while you try to perform menial tasks. Anything really, you knew you were pushing your luck.
Sooner or later he’d snap and force you to go down on him or something else truly bone-breaking.
You cleared your throat again, chopping away another carrot, “We need to talk about Luke.”
“He’s fine,” he clipped back at you. The TV volume rises over the sound of your thoughts. You rolled your eyes, fucking child.
“He needs to go back to school, Ren.”
Silence.
You scraped the food off the cutting board, mixing it together in a large blue plastic bowl. Pleased to have some comforts of home, Ren let you have an allowance at a local target.
Spending all the money you could on laundry detergent, toys for Luke, and cleaning supplies. Anything to make you feel at home, while you blend further and further in with society. The thoughts of freedom you harbored wasting away every day.
Luke zoomed past your island, running around with a toy spaceship you found on clearance. The boy was so bored, nothing to stimulate him since Ren had confiscated all the electronic devices from your grasping hands. All part of the dance, you wouldn’t give him what he wanted so he took something that you wanted.
Genius really, Ren was acting like a toddler in front of his own.
You scooped in some cheese slices, satisfied with the amount before turning back to the biggest man baby, determined to win this round. You wiped your hands on your apron, another great find, checking your face in the hall mirror. Brushing away some flyaways from your ponytail, perfect. You looked like a housewife, which is what Ren craved from you, and now you would exploit it.
Stepping over the massacre of toys on the floor, you rounded the couch in calm steps. Being sure to sway your hips seductively, Ren’s eyes flashed towards you for only a moment before turning back to the television. Taking another swig from his bottle before letting it hang loose in his grip.
He cleared his throat, “What do you want?”
You shrugged, playing cool, “Nothing, I just wanted to come say hi.”
Ren squinted at you, “No, you didn’t.”
You shook your head, leaning over to plant your hand on his kneecap, nudging it open slightly for you to shimmy between. Cutting off his view of the screen, but that was okay. You needed his full attention on you, “What else would I be doing? Can I not come say hi to my,” you took a deep breath, “husband?”
“Mm,” he looked away from you, “So, I’m your husband now? I thought I was an asshole.”
You grit your teeth, of course, he heard you. Retrying your approach, you climbed into his lap, which he let you. Glad to accept any affection you assumed, you watched Luke run past again. Not batting an eye at the scene of you climbing on his daddy. You wrapped your arm around the back of his neck, slinging your body to the side.
Being sure to push your chest in his face, just to be sure it would work.
Ren rolled his eyes at the display, taking another drink before smacking his lips, “Why are you on top of me? You’ve been pushing me away for days now.”
“I just wanted to come talk to you, is that so wrong?”
He snorted, “Alright. What do you want to talk about, love?”
You keened at the sound of your nickname, he had been sparse with it since shoving him off recently. This was good, you brought your free hand to his face. Dragging a finger across his temple and down to his jawline, careful to touch where they connected. Yours had fibrous scar tissue there from years ago, but he was smooth. A little bit of stubble there, but littered with moles across his cheeks. You brought your lips close, stealing yourself for what the repercussions might be.
“I wanted to talk about you and me.”
“Hm.”
You pressed your lips on his cheek, kissing a few times as soft as you could. Watching Ren take in an unsteady breath before leaning into you. Pressing a few more on his prominent freckles, you made your way towards his ear. “And about what we made together.”
He hummed again, “What did we make together?”
You rocked your hips forward, putting pressure between your legs from his heavy belt buckle. You whimpered at the feeling before getting back to your task, voice low and husky, “A baby.”
Ren's eyebrows shot up, smirking a little as he turned his face into your neck. Mumbling against the steaming skin while you moved in slow circles on top of him, “We did make a baby.” Ren kissed your neck, “Would you like to make another one?”
You shook your head, “Nooo, I wanna talk about the baby we already have.”
He pulled away at that, huffing an irritated breath through his nose, “What about him, then?”
With a deep breath, you gently grabbed onto his shoulders for support. You pouted your lips forward to try and capture his in a kiss. “I want to get him enrolled in school.”
Ren froze.
Dropping his head back against the edge of the couch, he stared at the ceiling. Working his jaw side to side while you waited. It’s been nearly a month since Luke was taken out of school in the states and you were terrified of him falling behind, he was six. He couldn’t be kept in a cave, Ren couldn’t do that to his miracle child.
Could he?
You leaned in closer, pressing your chest to his in a desperate attempt to get him to focus back on you. Kissing at the underside of his jaw a few times as it ground together painfully slow, Ren's hands snaked their way around your waist. Gripped tightly as you rocked forward.
“Please?” you whispered as seductively as you could, “Please,” your breath caught as you chose your words carefully, “Please, daddy, can we please put him in school?”
Ren grunted, shifting lower on your couch so you were forced to completely straddle his lap. Pressing your front into his even harder than you intended, backtracking a little.
Too much for what you wanted to do, too much in front of Luke.
You lifted your head to spy on him, but not seeing him anywhere in the living room made your blood pressure spike.
Where did he go?
Eyes darting around the living room while Ren laved at your neck, using his plush lips to create more bruises around the beltline of marks that marred you. Moaning a little between each smack, you reeled as you looked around. Getting ready to call out for him, when Ren startled you.
“Why does he need school, baby? Can’t you teach him like the good little thing you are?”
You whimpered as he bounced you in his lap, pressing hard on the belt buckle between you both. Catching your clothed core just right to have you yelp, “Ren-stop.”
He growled, “I don’t think so, you seem to be enjoying it. Aren’t you?”
You took a wet breath, leaning in as he ground you on your clit. Sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body, “I don’t-No-stop please Ren.”
He frowned, “What happened to daddy? Huh? Don’t want our baby hearing you call his daddy the same name?”
“No-I-oh…”
A hot tongue made its way across your skin, curling up towards your earlobe in the process. You moaned out louder than you wanted to, flushing from embarrassment before letting out another. Ren rocked you hard in his lap, making steady waves over and over.
You felt the telltale bulge grow in his jeans, pressing incessantly at your apex. You dug your nails into his shoulders, arching your back as he lapped at you.
Pressing messy kisses all over your skin, a short suck between his teeth to catch a mark. You moaned long and loud, Ren echoed you with his own.
“I think you’re trying to pick a fight with me, you’re so bored and pent up from pushing your daddy away that you’ll do anything for attention…” he husked in your ear. Another kiss, “What you really need is a good fucking, don’t you?”
“I-“
“Say it,” he growled, hands traveling down to your ass. Grasping roughly through the fabric of your leggings, kneading the flesh in his palms. “You want to get fucked. Hard. And dirty, like the dirty girl you are, isn’t that right?”
“Y-yes,” you stuttered, brain cloudy with pleasure as you forgot your original goal. Seeming so insignificant while he grinds on you, all you could think about was his large hands caressing you. Lips teasing you, hard body pressing you down onto the very exclamation point of his rock-hard-
“Mommy! I want lunch!”
Little feet stomped into the living room, running at full speed towards the haughty display of you riding your captor on the couch. You scrambled to get away, Ren was having none of it, clenching his teeth to sink into your pulse point without hesitation.
You screamed as Luke’s eyes met yours over the couch. Color draining from his face as he saw you, in a confusing position. “Luke-baby,” you panted, trying to not burst into tears as Rens canines ripped into your skin and tugged hard.
Grasping the base of Ren's skull and digging your nails in hard.
You did what he would do to you in this situation, sending shockwaves of pain through his body as he let up on his bite. You shivered as his red lips kissed at the mark he made.
Puckering indents of his teeth, shiny with spit all over your front as you unlaced yourself from his grasp. Careful to not look down and only focus on Luke, who backed away from you slightly.
Lip trembling as you quickly made your way into the kitchen, gasping when you touched the tender skin. Paper towels were all you had, the medicine cabinet was locked from you.
“Luke,” your voice croaked, “L-lunch is ready-y f-for you. Come w-wash your-r hands pl-please.”
You caught a glimpse of Ren as Luke walked into the kitchen.
Lips painted with your blood as he smirked at your trembling form, mouthing out something you couldn’t understand.
No.
He would not win this round, after almost biting your jugular, you were going to beat him.
Luke came next to you with a bowl in his little hands, holding it up for you to scoop out some pasta salad for him. You took a calming breath before speaking, “Guess what, baby?”
“What?”
Your eyes flashed back up to Rens.
“Daddy's gonna bring you to your new school tomorrow!”
———
“Stop touching it or else it’ll start bleeding again.”
You fidgeted with your turtleneck sweater, annoyed with how it scratched your skin, “That wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t fucking bite me yesterday.”
Your eyes looked over at the other family a few steps away, briefly making eye contact with the mother who blushed.
If only she knew.
You rolled your eyes, grabbing at Luke’s collar to straighten for the millionth time. Rens hands on his shoulder to keep him from bouncing around from excitement.
After your announcement yesterday afternoon Luke wouldn’t shut up.
Screaming out thank you’s to Ren while explaining all the little things he used to do at school when at home. Jumping on his lap and squealing for all your neighbors to hear, and nearby dogs with how high-pitched it got.
You were in serious trouble.
Ren finally cracked and forced you to give him what he wanted, after you so rudely went against his word.
Last night you did what you weren’t proud of, but oh how your body needed the release…
Bent on all fours, crawling towards your master, duct tape across your mouth and tits. Another strip to cover your cunt, Ren wasn’t touching you where you needed it.
He spent the whole night filling your ass, stuffing his rock-hard cock inside you over and over. Copious amounts of lube slicking the way for him to hammer hard enough to bruise.
He didn’t stop until early in the morning, hole sore and red, barely able to pucker for him when he commanded you to. Just a hole for him to cum inside before he ripped all the tape off. Leaving you screaming on the bedroom floor all the rest of the morning.
It had been so long since you’d slept on the floor, and your back was aching from it while standing in line at the registrar's office.
Your little family stepped forward as the line moved, closer to the desk where the woman would take your…
“Fuck,” you whispered, quickly grasping onto Ren's coat sleeve and yanking. “Ren-how is this supposed to work? We don’t have residency here… or even IDs?”
He rolled his eyes, shaking your hand off. “Be quiet. This was your stupid plan, you should have to figure it out yourself.”
You wrung your hands on the straps of your purse, wallet inside empty after Ren took everything from you. How would you prove who you were? The fake passports were back in the car, but that wouldn’t be enough to establish residence, you didn’t even know your address!
“Next please.”
You stepped up to the desk, nerves catching up to you as the woman eyed your outfit. Completely covered in black knit and large sunglasses over your still semi-bruised eyes. It looked like you hadn’t slept in weeks, which would be an understatement.
Luke bounced in Ren's hold, unbelievably excited about the school's prospects. He was desperate for human interaction, steady friends once again, and maybe some stimulation that could keep him calm at home. You were still worried Ren would turn on him, so far so good though!
“Ahem,” the woman cleared her throat, “I have other people needing to be registered… if you could please hurry?”
“Of course,” you scrambled, pushing up your glasses. You cringed when her eyes went wide at the sight, smiling a little to assuage her worry. “We want to register our son, Luke, in 1st grade?”
“Can I see proof of residence, ID, and birth certificate?”
You swallowed, “Sure.”
Sneaking a glance at Ren, who was smirking while he held onto Luke. You reached into your purse, purposefully being slow before wetting your lips. “Uhm, what counts as residence? We just m-moved here?”
She sighed, “Bills, any mail you have with your name and address on it? Is everything alright ma'am?”
“Y-yeah.”
You dug in your purse, grabbing at receipts and other items. Looking at your wallet, empty. You cleared your throat, “Um-honey?”
“Mm?” he cocked a brow, hiding a grin from your struggle.
“Did you bring our stuff?”
Ren thought for a moment, sucking his teeth. “I’m not sure… this was so sudden I don’t think we have anything to prepare.”
“Ren,” you begged, flashing a smile again to the woman who was growing more irritated by the minute. “Can you check?”
Ren let go of Luke, dramatically reaching in his coat pockets. He raised his eyebrows, “Oh! Well, you’re in luck, my love.”
Low and behold, he produced every document. Setting down a bill for the water, which you didn’t know had been charged yet. IDs, even a birth certificate, Luke’s real certificate with his name on it.
You slyly added Ren's name to the original years ago, in a depressive episode where you missed him terribly.
Short-lived, of course.
Luke was invited on a tour of the classroom, which you happily agreed to once your nerves settled. The cage for your son was opening up more and more each day. That’s all you wanted, and soon enough the door would be open enough for both of you to be free.
You just had to wait.
———
It had been four weeks since you’d arrived in Canada.
Four fucking weeks of domestic bliss one would say, no fighting or shouting. No intense beatings that couldn’t be covered by your concealer. Just a firm backhand or bite to keep you in check.
It was strange, quiet.
Too quiet.
Your body had an ache, a hollow need for him to punish you. For something, anything really. A sick twist of your gut every time you did something wrong, or spoke back at him, or even spilled food down the front of his shirt.
He would just breathe a heavy sigh and walk away from you.
“Come, love,” Ren's hands reached for you from across the table. You'd been sitting there for twenty minutes, staring at the wood grain while everything else moved around you. “Lukes in bed, why don’t we take a bath, huh?”
“Okay,” you whispered.
Your feet felt like thousand-pound weights as you followed Ren to the bedroom. Through the bathroom door and standing still in the center. Like before, he undressed you, filling the tub full of steamy warm water. Swirling it while you blinked, was this it?
Your life?
“Why haven’t you done anything to me?”
You blurted out, catatonic as you sat in the tub. Perched on Ren's lap while he rubbed your back, humming in soft tones while he massaged your tense muscles. He froze, brow furrowed in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
He looked dumbfounded, while you stared at him with wide eyes. Just as confused by the beating of your heart, roaring over your eardrums. This calm, docile man wasn’t the one you knew. Expecting him to be colder, more brutal, worse than before. But he was soft, smooth, gentle with you, and it was infuriating.
“I don’t understand you, Kylo.”
A breath.
“For years, you tormented me. Kept me locked away for your own selfish gain, kept me as a pet for you to play with day in and day out. Marked me with thousands of scars that I can never recover from, and for what?”
He stayed quiet, hands unmoving from your back.
“For you to play nice all of the sudden? Act as if nothing happened? Like you didn’t murder nine fucking people to just keep us afloat? Kylo-I don’t know you anymore…”
Tears welled in your eyes, trembling as the water cooled around you. And he stayed still. How?
How?
“Fuck!”
You launched at him, wrapping your feeble hands around his throat like he used to do to you when he loved you enough to care. Yes, that's what your brain was telling you, he didn’t care anymore. Everything he said was a fucking lie, a lie like he always did, that was it.
Digging your nails in hard, Ren barely moved as you thrashed on top of him. Hips straddling the outside of his slippery thighs, you squeezed as hard as you could, bringing his reddening face close to yours and barred your teeth, just like he did before.
“Fight me, dammit! Anything is better than this limp dicked man you are now,” you spat at him, saliva flying on his cheeks as you readjusted your grip, “What the fuck happened to you?”
“Let go of me.” Ren hissed at you, hands stopping their caressing movements on your back to cling to your spine. He thrashed his head to the left, throwing your weak hands off his throat as he took deep breaths.
You pushed hard on his shoulders, slamming him against the wall of the bathroom. Tile echoing as they smacked, “Come on-fucking pussy.”
“Oh?”
Ren cocked a brow, mirroring your own as you kept steady pressure on his shoulders.
“You want me to fight back at your lazy attempts to rile me? Treat you like the garbage you came from? Huh? Keep doing it, you aren’t going to like what happens.”
“Oh-shut up! Your threats are empty, you haven’t done anything since we came here, and I think it’s because you’re scared. Scared that I’ll leave with Luke, you’re terrified of being alone.”
“Am I?”
You thought for a moment, confusion lacing your bravery with something else. Fear maybe, slinking up your spine and wrapping around your throat in a tight squeeze, what was he saying…
“I was alone for six years, love.”
Silence.
“I think you’re the one terrified of being alone.”
Ren's hands moved up your spine, one hand resting at the base of your skull, but you paid it no mind. Focusing your angry stare at his cold eyes, searching for any feeling whatsoever. He told you that you were his universe, and where was the passion? Where did it all go?
“You think I’ve forgotten,” his voice dropped low, leaning in, “How delicious you taste when you’re so broken. How much fun it was to break you in half every morning, just to put you back together again in my image.”
“No-that's not…”
“Hush now, I’m talking-you’re not talking.”
Your mouth closed involuntarily. Whimpering as his fingertips dug into the muscle, “Okay.”
“You don’t feel loved? Hm? Feel like I’m going soft with you, because I haven’t put you in your place, huh baby?”
Ren nodded condescendingly towards you, eyes wide and shimmering with glee, you tried to thrash away from him. But his hold only grew worse, you felt the phantom pain of his teeth sinking into your throat from earlier in the weeks. Not wanting to feel it again, you took a deep breath and let it release out of your nose, Ren mirrored you.
“We can’t have that, can we?”
You shook your head, a pitiful no echoing through the walls of the bathroom. Bouncing back to ring around in your molten skull, fuck. The way he spoke to you stoked the fire in your heart, desperate to claw at him in the throes of passion like before…
He pulled you closer, angling your face to stare directly into his eyes. He licked his lips slowly, your body seizing up with the inevitable blow to your psyche.
Ren's voice was small, “Do you want me to remind you, my love? How fragile you really are, and how much power I have? You seem to have forgotten… Maybe you’ve forgotten all of my other lessons. Do you know who controls if you live or die?”
“N-no… I-I know,” you whimpered.
He clucked his tongue, rolling your answer around for a few moments, “Do you though?” His grip tightened around the back of your neck, squeezing tight until your vision went foggy. You moved to throw him off but his fingertips pushed too hard on your jugular until it felt like you were a flounder gasping for water out of the surf.
“How well can you hold your breath, my love?” He smiled, and your heart sank, realizing where you were positioned. The cooling water around you a prison, “Wait-no-Kylo…”
“Let us find out.”
Ren flipped you backward, the back of your head slamming on the porcelain in a deafening crack through your water-logged ears. Your hands scrambled back to try and release yourself, legs pinned between the walls and his strong thighs. His other hand coming up to circle the front of your throat as he tightened his coil, you gasped.
Water burning as it entered your lungs, you tried so hard to stop the involuntary reflex, the waves crashing down as your brain went cloudy.
This is it.
—-----
Your chest ached.
Throat burned.
Back broken.
Your eyes burned as you woke up, staring directly at Ren's bored face, hair slicked back from his face while he grasped your cheeks. Feeling coming back from the stinging of your fingertips and toes, all the way to your scratching eyelids. Gasps of air shot lightning bolts of pain emanating from the center of your chest, you were sure you were lifting your hand. Looking down with wide eyes to see your blood-tinged fingers to touch…
Touch…
Your-you…
“K-ky-kylo?”
You rasped another breath, pain shooting once again while you tried to blink away the spring of tears that clouded the view of his face. Eyes dancing around you, he smacked your cheek a few times, going from barely feeling it to searing pain. You wailed, screams echoing around the cavern that once housed your lungs.
“You'd make a poor mermaid.”
Ren chuckled above you, brushing his hair that fell on his face before leaning over your body. You felt his breath, hot on your cooling skin. “Tell me-if you can-do you want to be alive? Do you want me to help you, or do you want to waste away here? Leave me with Luke, mold him into whatever I see fit.”
You tried to shake your head, muscles aching as you brought in more and more life-giving air. It burned as it settled in the remnants of your lungs, “Pl-please…”
“P-p-please?” he snorted, “Please what? Please let me live? Use me how you see fit? Hm? Do you want me to use your broken and beaten form? I had to break your fucking ribs to save you, can you feel it?”
You nodded.
“I saved your fucking life, and you have no chance of staying that way without me. Do you fucking get that? Do you remember? I control if you live or die, bitch.”
He heaved you off the floor, blood rushing from your ears down to your feet. You could feel how much you lost in the fight, when he caved in your chest with life-saving compressions. Your lips tinged from him biting in when giving you life-giving breaths, he was so generous. He could've let you die, and taken Luke all for his amusement.
You owed him your life.
Your brain tried to process the information while he brought you to the shower stall and hosed you down like livestock. You caved in on yourself like a dying star when he let go of your forearm, spinning you until your cavern was flush with the cold tile wall. You moaned at the feeling, yes, feeling…
Ren hauled you off to the bedroom, pushing you down on your back while your chest rattled with broken bones and open sores from his rough thrusts. You moaned again when he laid ice packs on the burning skin, ripping open gauze and other bandages with his teeth. You blinked at the ceiling, counting the sheep jumping over the fence that danced in your head. Falling sleepier the more he moved you, everything felt like it was in slow motion.
Your head as it raised to brush through his damp hair, he purred into your touch. Kissing your open palm with soft kisses. Your entire torso stuffed with gauze and sealed with Coban tape, Ren rolled you onto your side. Stuffing a pillow under your tender head and one in front of your chest. Pushing you gently forward, the pressure a pleasant lull from the pain of each breath.
“Stay still little one,” he whispered, but you didn’t pay any attention. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, curling around the pillow while he propped your upper leg at an angle.
Ren slipped inside you with a smooth thrust.
Grunting in pleasure when he met your wetness, your body finally getting what it craved. The strict life-giving pain of being with him once more, you wanted it so bad. Whimpering out soft kitten yips as he picked up the pace.
Ren held you carefully, kissing your shoulder and up the curve of your neck. Lingering on the faded scar there before he huffed in your ear.
“Do you really think you're better off alone? When you could die so easily? No. You’re much better here, with me.”
______
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