#kylo ren x female reader

[kowaiitenshii]

[Wish We Never Met]

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader 

Plot Summary: You haven’t seen Kylo Ren since he destroyed the Jedi academy you both called home in your youth, and you want nothing more than to forget about him. That doesn’t stop him from reaching out. 

Warnings: Kidnapping. Kylo is his own warning. Angst? 

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Hello again everyone! This oneshot is the product of a betrayal prompt from a good friend of mine! If this does well and people enjoy it, I will be open to prompts and requests and if the demand is high enough, I may even write a part 2 for this. Thank you so much for all the love on Sunkiller Lullaby again as well!! Please enjoy! 

A perfectly clear night on Ossus, a rare meteor shower had been forecasted that night, and you didn’t dare to miss it.

You and your best friend, Ben Solo, had snuck out against your Master’s wishes to watch the shower together. 

It was once in a lifetime, after all. 

You couldn’t have thought of a better person to sneak out with, you’d known him since you were just ten years old; not that you had many other friends in the academy regardless. 

The two of you never quite fit in with the other padawan learners, having earned reputations for being too reckless, too quick to anger, too ready for a fight. But you found solace in one another, always sparring, studying, or shirking off your responsibilities to go on some ill-advised adventure together. 

As the two of you grew, as did your fondness for one another. Master Luke began separating you more and more, fearing that you would build ties too strong to sever. 

Attachment, of course, was strictly forbidden. 

But that did little to stop you from stealing away to see the person whom you were closest with in the entire world whenever you could.

The two of you laughed like the foolish teenagers you were as you ran through the lush green field littered with wildflowers together hand-in-hand, searching for the perfect spot to watch the show.

Cresting the top of the hill, Ben suddenly dropped  to the ground, pulling you along with him as you tumbled down through the long grass. As you came to a stop, landing on top of him at the bottom of the hill, you playfully punched him in the arm. 

“You really ought to be more careful Ben! We could have gotten hurt!” you scolded him, still laughing like mad. 

“You know I wouldn’t let that happen!” he reassures you, laughing back at you as you shift off of him and take a seat next to him in the tall grass. 

The two of you spent a long time in comfortable silence, watching the meteors shoot over your heads. It was an awe-inspiring sight, countless comets of every colour followed by their glowing tails lighting up the entire sky above. It truly was beautiful, and you were still unsure if you’ve seen such beauty since. 

You spent hours just watching, enchanted by the ethereal lightshow. 

That is, until you looked towards Ben, and instead of watching the beauty of the stars, he was watching you. 

Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart swelled in an unfamiliar way as you looked at him, realising in that moment that he had grown up, no longer the awkward, lanky boy you knew as a child. 

His eyes sparkled innocently in the dim light, reflecting the colours of the stars. His lips were pink and parted, as if to ask something that was caught just on the tip of his tongue. His long raven hair blew in the gentle breeze, tousled by your tumble down the hill. 

For a split second, you envisioned running your fingers carefully through his soft locks to fix it for him before forcing yourself to look away. 

Cheeks hot and heart thumping in your chest, you tried to remind yourself of the rules of the Jedi you so desperately tried to uphold. You knew attachment was wrong, and love could only serve to destroy you. And yet, the idea of a life lived without ever knowing love, that kind of love, left a hole in your heart that ached for it. 

Clenching your fists so tightly your nails dug into the palms of your hands and closing your eyes, you tried your hardest to push your feelings down, to bottle them up and seal them away. 

The gentle feeling of Ben carefully, almost sheepishly placing a large hand to your left cheek and turning you to face him snapped you out of your quiet rumination. The sensation of his touch was warm and tingling, spreading goosebumps across your skin like wildfire. 

Your eyes met again, Ben measuring your reaction, looking hesitantly from your eyes to your lips and back again, as if he too could sense what you were feeling. 

Given the tender, vulnerable expression that spread across his countenance, you knew that he could. The rough pad of his thumb ghosted over your cheekbone, your skin feeling electrified as he touched it, the energies between you rich and palpable. 

“(Y/N)...” He whispered your name like a prayer. 

Before he could speak again, you would take his face between your hands, crashing your lips into his in a moment of reckless abandon. 

They’re soft and wet, the feeling of the kiss itself and the mixing of energies setting you both on fire. 

You lose yourself in it, all teeth and tongue and burning desire, kissing him over and over again. 

Ben is just about to lay you down right there, in the soft grass beneath the stars, before you force yourself to pull away. Sitting up pin straight and wiping the spit away from your lips, you were too ashamed to even look back at him. 

The world goes black. 

The next scene that plays is the one that has torn you apart for years. 

Standing before the devastated Jedi academy you called home for nearly your entire life, you watched as it burned to ash. Tears flowed in rivers down your cheeks as you sobbed in agony of all that was lost, all because of the boy you loved. 

Falling to your knees, Ben’s name tore its way out of your throat in a grief-stricken scream.

Eyes flying open, you jolt upright in bed. 

You’re then hit by the same cold realisation that it was all a dream, as you are every time you have that dream. Although, you suppose it's more of a recollection than a dream. 

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you groan groggily as you spot the familiar silhouette of a man’s astral body across the room. 

“Ugh… Go away Kylo.” you moan, already becoming annoyed. 

Even if he wasn’t there physically, seeing him through the force hurt all the same. 

“You know I can’t, even if I wanted to.” he replies matter-of-factly, and you know it to be true. Whatever unseen force it is that binds you to each other, neither of you could control it. 

He haunts you like a ghost, torturing your very soul every time you would connect unannounced. His presence tonight is especially wounding, having been freshly reminded of the feelings you held for him despite everything. 

Throwing your covers off, you annoyedly begin to stoke the small fire pit in the centre of your hut, doing your best to ignore Kylo’s dark and magnetic presence looming in the shadows. 

“Where are you?” he asks abruptly, looking around the room and searching for any indicators of your location. 

You roll your eyes, finally looking in his face. His eyes are locked on you as he stands in the darkness of the room, the light of the flames illuminating his features. 

He’s every bit as handsome as you remember, all doe eyes and plump lips and strong nose. 

He’s gotten taller, and bulkier in terms of muscle than you remember, no doubt enhanced by his new training. Your heart strings tug painfully in your chest, and you remember why you avoid looking at him when this happens. 

“You know I can’t answer that.” you whisper solemnly in reply. 

“Why not?” he snaps back instantly.

“You know exactly why, Kylo Ren.” you sigh in irritation, spitting his name at him as if it tastes foul. You throw another log into the fire before standing and turning around, crossing your arms and doing your best to shut him out as your anger and frustrations build. 

“It would be so much easier if you would stop hiding, if you would just join me.” He continues, ignoring the vitriol in your tone and trying to coax the answer out of you. 

“I’m not hiding, Kylo. You just can’t find me. There’s a difference.” you scoff back at him, vaguely pleased when you hear him let out his own irritated sigh. 

You’ve been through this hundreds of times, your answers and his questions never changing. Everytime you speak to him, everytime you look at him, the void in your chest that calls to him grows wider. And with great pain every time, you deny him.

It’s torture, the purest form you could imagine. 

“You called to me. In your dream. I heard it.” he asserts in a gentler tone, as if it would change anything. You dig your nails into the skin of your arms in an attempt to temper the rage bubbling up inside of you. 

“I’m tired of fighting Kylo.” you sigh. “Can’t you see that? That’s why I’m here, in a hut in the fucking jungle.” you spit, an edge of hurt in your tone that you pray he doesn’t hear.

“Then why won’t you just come to me?” He tries desperately to persuade you. “I will take care of anything, everything you need. It could be so simple if you would just-” he starts on the same tirade that he starts every time you see each other. 

The fresh pain of the memories, the aching of your heart at seeing him, listening to the same argument; it’s finally all too much. The dam you’ve built to withhold your emotions finally breaks, your hurt finally overflowing as you spin on your heel to face him, screaming out the truth as you cut him off. 

“Because I love you, Ben! Because I love you, and you’ve destroyed everything else I’ve ever cared about! And I hate myself for it!” you bark at him through gritted teeth, hot tears welling up in your eyes and threatening to spill over.  

His brow furrows in frustration and shock as he yells back at you.

 “You know that isn’t the truth! I didn’t-” 

Clutching the sides of your head in frustration, you continue screaming, cutting him off once more. 

“Everyday I wake up and I’m forced back into the hell that is the realisation that this is my reality!” you gesture feverishly around the humble, run down hut in which you both stand, then between the two of you. “This is my reality, and I will never forgive you for it Ben.” your voice breaks, your anger spent and only leaving you with aching despair as the tears finally begin to fall. 

“I loved you, I really loved you.” you choke out between cries, the growing lump in your throat making it hard to speak. 

For once he’s silent, saying nothing as he looks upon you with widened eyes. 

He’s visibly taken aback, and the realisation finally hits you that you just admitted your love to him, and that you hadn’t called him by his name, his true name, since the incident that ripped you away from each other. 

He turns away from you, hiding the tears welling in his own eyes. 

“I don’t need your forgiveness.” he whispers, and you take one last look at him before he promptly vanishes. 

Left alone in the crippling emptiness of the hut you call home, you fall to your knees under the crippling weight of your sorrow, wracked with anguished sobs. 

Elsewhere in the galaxy, Kylo Ren wipes the stray tears from his face and steels his nerves, before throwing on his cloak and helmet. 

He could feel your presence even more acutely in the force now, the bond strengthened by your heated confession. It was certainly not one he had expected, but he had no doubt now that he would track you down.

All he would have to do is follow your signature. 

Your words were all the confirmation he needed as he stormed out of his personal quarters to gather a fleet, barking the orders to gather his knights at a commanding officer. 

If you refused to give yourself willingly to him, he would just have to take you. 

The next morning, you awaken suddenly to the sound of Stormtroopers blowing the door clean off of your hut. 

In an instant you leap to your feet, ready to defend yourself from any danger. Time moves in slow motion as you look out the door, the mass of troopers, fronted by the Knights of Ren  parting like the fabled red sea. 

Blood running cold, your heart drops to your feet as you lay eyes upon their leader who moves to the forefront, Kylo Ren.

You’re stricken with the awful, ice-cold revelation that he had used your bond in the force against you. 

It lead him right to you. 

Frantically turning to reach for a weapon, you’re cut short as a blaster hits you with a stun ray, rendering you unconscious. 

Your body falling to the floor with a soft thud, Kylo Ren strides over to where your body lay crumpled, just within the doorway, sighing regretfully. Crouching over you, he frowns as he softly brushes a lock of hair out of your face.

“It could have been so much easier.” he whispers like an apology, before carefully scooping you into his arms.

He takes a moment to look at you, admiring the beauty of his prize before carrying you onto his ship.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo x you #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x f!reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x f!reader #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars imagine #kylo ren x you

[angelltheninth]

Kylo Ren would finger you while sitting on the throne. He'd use the Force to keep you still on top of him, keep your legs parted when you can't anymore and move his big, thick fingers slowly in and out to the point you starts weeping and begging for release. When you do he lets you go but he also puts his fingers out and fishes out his hard cock. You can't to come don't you? Then get to riding.

#star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars smut #kylo ren smut #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren headcanons #kylo ren x female reader #star wars imagine #star wars headcanons #star wars x female reader

[peterparkersnose]

Two Ghosts

pairing: kylo ren x queen!reader 

word count: 2.6k

warnings: neglect, arranged marriage, dislike of s/o, reader has children, descriptions of periods, domestic abuse, old values (women are dainty bullshit), guys kylo isn’t nice remember that, fertility issues, stopping of a period due to stress, reader lives for her children basically, reader obviously has anxiety, reader is basically breaded for heirs, kylo is awkward (the dude doesn’t have social skills. at all. whatsoever), even though he still has some rizz (call him kylo rizz if you would), a good ending? idk guys remember kylo just isn’t a great person and the first order isn’t a good organization too

a/n a long warning list 😬. anyways i never get notes on kylo fics but i simply do not care. i love writing new content for this man. he deserves it all.

summary Kylo tries being the husband Y/N always wanted him to be

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read time: 9 mins 40 seconds

Watching you felt almost wrong. The neglect he’s given you through the years- the pain you’ve felt and him not caring about you for as long as he’s known you.

He didn’t deserve to watch this beautiful sight of his family, the family he didn’t even want. The family he wasn’t even apart of. You two were an arranged marriage, married for political reasons. He needed an heir, your father needed peace on your home planet. You and your children had always been a nuisance to him. 

You had given up on the romantic attempts years ago. But something in this sight, something about you right then made him sick. Something made him click taking in this view from the balcony on the hill.

For weeks he had longing feelings of sadness. He hated admitting it and rejected it as much as he could, but light was seeping into the cracks. His moods began to lighten softly, not enough for you to notice but enough to scare him. Now looking down and feeling this, it was just a confirmation of what was really happening to him.

The sun shown down on your beautiful yellow dress that was layed out on the grass. Your hair was up in intricate braids due to the heat on Naboo, the tiny loose strands were swaying in the wind. The field you sat in was just off a short cliff, the beautiful rural city and coast were just feet away. The perfect escape between the busy city and the old city. The mansion sat atop the hill, separating the two separate terrains. You were on a vacation and had begged him to come for the sake of his children.

Your oldest son ran around you in circles, playing with a TIE one of his father’s assistants bought him for Christmas. Kylo couldn’t be bothered to celebrate, let alone give gifts. Henry was just shy of his sixth birthday. His blonde hair was messy and in need of a cut sometime soon. His gray tunic and black pants matched his father’s aesthetic a little too much for your liking. Running around, he made engine sounds as the ship would like a typical 5 year old.

Your youngest daughter sat in front if you, playing with some wildflowers she had plucked into an array of ‘jewlery’. She was three. Unlike her brother, she had beautiful strong brown hair. Unbeknownst to you, it completely mirrored her grandmothers. You had her hair in your hands, coming through it with your fingers trying to decide what design to attempt today. Amala squirmed as she attempted to join her brother, but you kept her in place in your lap. She was to learn to be a lady as you were. Her dark pink dress was spread out in front of her.

Kylo watched you as the pit in his stomach felt odd. It had always been empty, but this time something ached inside of it. He had never had any interest in you. The times you ever had sex were intended and resulted in children, exactly what he needed. He cared more about Henry than Amala. Henry was the oldest and the heir to the First Order. But work called. He was never a family man, he was never meant to be a family man.

These feelings continued to conflict him throughout the night.

As the sun set you came in with the children. The nannies took them upstairs and readied them for bed. You took your place at the long dinner table. On the opposite side sat your husband- legally.

Over the years you obviously lusted for other men. You didn’t even dare act on your thoughts, or barely thought the thoughts at all. You knew Kylo would have their heads within seconds. With an absent husband emotionally and physically it was hard. In the first few years of your marriage, you struggled with fertility problems. Life was so lonely without the children. He grew angrier and angrier with you each time you got your cycle and your anxiety got so bad that it soon stopped. Your doctor moved you to separate chambers and eventually Henry was conceived after years of trying.

You felt like a failure before your son was born.

After copious amounts of treatment during your pregnancy, Henry was born. And then a while after that Supreme Leader Snoke granted you permission to have another. An heir and a spare.

You and Kylo sat silently eating your dinner. Over the years, you had perfected your etiquette. No slurping your wine, no scratching of the fork on the plate. At dinner you would mostly go over your thoughts from the day. The tuition papers you had to sign for Henry’s first school next year. Amala refusing to listen to her nanny and requesting her mommy really warmed your heart. The beautiful memory of that day you had spent with the children. The fact that you were doing it alone and was so good at it.

He listened to your thoughts. You knew he did. No datapad, no work bot giving him constant coded updates you didn’t understand. Tonight it was just the two of you. Two strangers eating dinner together. The show, the facade had to go on. Media wise you two were the loveliest couple in the galaxy. In reality, you spoke maybe once a week.

“R-80!” you called from the dining room. Kylo’s head shot up from his plate of food to see you waiting on the cleaner droid. You had finished the meal and was waiting to leave this awkward encounter.

The droid came around and you began to exit the room. His hand deliberately reached out for yours as you walked past him to get to the door.

A tiny gasp escaped your lips. You stopped and pulled your hand back, a concerned look was on display.

You were begging in your mind for this to had been an accident.

“It was no accident,” he said strongly. His deep voice boomed through your ears. You forgot how powerful it could be sometimes.

For the first time in years Kylo was feeling anxiety. Over something so minuscule, speaking to his wife. His eyes met and darted over your face. He recognized the braid pattern in your hair. You had worn it on your wedding day. Rarely he had seen it on you, depending if he even noticed you on the daily. His eyes were drawn to your dark lipstick on the lips that were slightly pursed.

“Your hair-” he said. Your eyes flicked up to the window, looking for any sign of a reflection.

Did he hate it, was he about to tell you to never wear it again? Was a strand so obviously out of place? Hell, why was he even speaking to you in the first place?

“It’s how it was on our wedding day, if I remember correctly.”

You nodded your head. Heat rose to your cheeks. This is the longest conversation you two have had in months.

He stared into your eyes. He forgot just how beautiful you really were. They were still the same as always, but this time with a few unnoticeable lines around them. You refused to meet his gaze, staring forward at the distorted mirroring of the room in the window.

Ten years in with two kids, you had managed to keep up with yourself and your appearances. For what, you really weren’t sure anymore.

“May I be excused? I would like to go check on the children.” you asked, avoiding his eye contact.

“Yes, one moment.” he said, his hand reaching out for yours. You hesitantly took it.

Kylo took a deep breath. Even though he seemed calm and composed, inside of his head the red alarm was going off. The urge to even ask you this went against everything he believed in. The twist in his stomach snapped. He gave in to the light feelings, begging for more after how good he felt after asking you a simple question.

“May I sleep with you in your chambers tonight?”

Your brows furrowed. “D-did you talk to the Supreme Leader? Did he give you permission for another?” you asked him, worried. You loved your children but you had no say in having them. The Supreme Leader could make you give birth to an army if he willed.

“No, no. This isn’t about sex.” he assured you. Of course you assumed it was about sex. It was the only time he ever really spoke to you. A slight relief flew off your shoulders.

You sighed, taking your hand from his. “I’m going to check on the children.”

Your heels clicked down the empty hallway. Something in you secretly hoped that he would follow you to see the children, but you knew your husband.

You were baffled in his sudden change of heart. He hadn’t shared a bed with you since- well, since Amala was conceived. You didn’t deny his request, but neither confirmed it.

Your thoughts kept you company as you walked down the many corridors and hallways of the mansion.

The large door was cracked, left like that by the nannies. They knew your routine better than anyone else. Amala was sleeping closest to the door. The canopy above her bed was swaying from the wind of the open window. Henry was laying on his stomach in a deep sleep, his limbs all sprawled out over the large bed.

A smile rose to your face as you quietly closed the door. Your heart was full once again. No more doubt plagued the poor, confused thing from dinner.

You made your way to your chambers. You passed what you knew was Kylo’s. Shockingly, the door was open. You caught a glimpse of him working at his desk. He looked too large for the thing, trumping the tiny chair in size. The patio was open and the moonlight rushed in, lighting his room ominously.

He caught a glimpse of your flowing yellow dress passing his room. He wanted to finish up a few papers before bed, but in his heart he knew he had to neglect his work for one night.

He mustered up enough courage to knock on your door. A sweet “Coming!” came from inside. Within seconds, your door was open and he was met with your fresh face. You had changed into your night robes and had your natural hair down on your shoulders. The bathroom light was on and he noticed the fresh mint scent coming from your breathe.

Your night maids hadn’t been around yet, he presumed.

Something in your look, your energy died a bit when you saw him.

How had he never noticed? How could all these feelings, these guilt trips be plaguing him now, suddenly? What changed?

“We’re you hoping for a maid?” he asked, following you into the large room. He locked the door behind him.

You sat down back at your vanity, pulling your brush out of the drawer.

“No.” you replied. He knew you were lying.

The bed creaked as Kylo sat down. His dark grey dress pants were perfectly ironed and didn’t crease at the contact. He itched at his black turtleneck, swiping the cuff with his finger. He could hear his watch ticking from his wrist. The room was cold.

“May I ask why you wanted to be here?” you asked, a certain confidence in your voice had occurred. Turning now to face him, you finished brushing your hair and placed your hairbrush back in the drawer.

“Honestly darling, I’m really not sure.”

Darling?

If you weren’t so poised your jaw would have been on the floor.

“Today I saw a sight. You with the kids in the field.”

“Oh Kylo, there children. There’s nothing wrong with them playing in a field if this is what this is about-”

“No. I-”

Kylo Ren had never felt himself speechless before, yet again choking up at the sight of his family he used to despise.

Your tucked your chair back into your vanity. Now standing infront of the cowardly man, you waited for his response.

His hand cradled his forehead as he stared at the floor, watching your perfectly manicured feet come into frame.

That’s when he let his first sob out in years. You quickly embraced him in your arms, his forehead finding a resting place against your stomach. Your hands sprawled over his back in a cautious way. Peeking over ever so slightly, you checked if he had his lightsaber on his belt. Thank the gods he didn’t, you were afraid he would cut you into two.

Nobody had ever seen Kylo Ren cry.

“I don’t understand what you are getting at.” you whispered to him. Another sob came out, you began to rub his back.

“I-I am such a fool.” he managed to speak. His eyes looked up into yours, finally making contact for the first time in forever.

The look on your face was baffled.

“What have I been doing? I have a family- a wife? So much neglect, so much hate. How are you still here, my dear? How have I not driven you away, or driven you to worse? I-I have two children. Two beautiful children I don’t know and such a beautiful wife that I’m strangers with. So many years wasted. How did it take me ten years to see this? How did one small instance make my life come crumbling down around me?” he asked, bawling out his words.

You were speechless.

“I want to learn- please. How do I have such an amazing person with me and I don’t know the slightest thing about her? Tell me, w-what’s your middle name?” he went on, now holding you by the hips and eagerly speaking.

And that’s when it really hit you. You two were strangers.

“Amala,” you muttered out. “Oh! T-that makes so much sense—in our daughter. Her name,”

“What are there names, please tell me.” he seemed to beg.

“Henry Cornelius Benjaq Ren, Amala Charress Bryneri Ren.” you answered, a smile emerging on your lips.

Was this too good to be true?

Kylo was stunned of Henry’s middle name. Benjaq. There was no way you knew of his real name. The coincidence hurt him even more.

“Cornelius and Charress…” he pondered. “They sound so familiar are they…”

“My parents.” you answered him. “King Cornelius! How could I forget? Oh Y/N. I have neglected you for so long. How could you ever forgive me?”

His voice sounded genuine. “It’s definitely going to take time.” you sighed. Suddenly the years of loneliness and suffering flashed back in your mind. You broke away from his embrace and walked to the open balcony, giving him an invitation to follow.

“I will try. Please Y/N, let me.” he begged, following you outside.

The warm air brushed against your cool skin. You sighed, wishing you would wake up from this nightmare and your husband would be back. Did someone poison his food?

The yearning for anyone’s touch seeped into your mind. Watching all the other royal couples around the galaxy, they all seemed to love eachother. Hands touching almost constantly, sneaking a kiss or two at events. It was rare that you even got a photo with Kylo at the parties you would attend.

“I know,” he sighed, taking your hands into his. “I wish I could make it all go away.” he said with remorse.

The waves crashed against the sand. The wind was beginning to pick up. Your hair began to sway in the slight breeze. “Make it then,” you whispered, grazing a hand against his cheek. You dared giving him any sign of affection. You were half expecting him to pull his lightsaber out and cut you in half, just as you thought before. Something felt so wrong, but so right.

You kissed your husband for the first time since your wedding day. His lips were slightly chapped and you could taste the negroni he was drinking at dinner. The moon show down on the both of you, and the feeling he felt seemed to pass on to you. Force sensitive or not, the force was in your favor tonight. You felt the remorse and the pain he had been harboring for years. All the sleepless nights over work and heartache over his past life. You seemed to dilute all of that inside of him. You were the missing piece he was looking for all along. The thing he wanted the least was now his prized possession; his wife, the mother of his children, his Queen, his Empress.

All of that love came back. The feeling of when he was a little boy and still had light into him entered his heart once again. Ben Solo seeped through the cracks of his dark, broken heart.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy @milly-louise​ 

#peterparkersnose #kylo ren #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fluff #kylo ren angst #kylo ren pregnancy #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren star wars #kylo ren one shot #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren headcanon #adam driver #ben solo #ben solo x reader #ben solo one shot #ben solo angst #ben solo blurb #kylo ren blurb #ben solo fluff #ben solo imagine #ben solo fanfiction #kylo ren x fem!reader #kylo ren x princess!reader #star wars #star wars fanfiction #kylo ren x queen!reader #peterparkersnosework

[stranger-nightmare]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 | 𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧

requested by @hopelessforthefreakandtheking

A/N: my first time writing for Kylo, I really hope you like it!! thank you for the request

“You keep your eyes on that mirror. I want you to watch how I make you fall apart. I want you to watch so that I may invade your mind, and watch too,” Kylo commands darkly as he positions your hips above his face, holding you steady with his large hands.

You let out a small whimper as you do as instructed, turning your head slightly to look in the mirror positioned at the right corner of the bed. You watch as your mouth hangs open, a moan passing your lips, your body lurching forwards as Kylo licks a stripe through your folds. A deep groan rumbles though him just as you feel his presence caress the back of your brain. You grant him access, letting him into your mind, letting him see what you see. He hums in satisfaction and you know he likes the view just as much as he does.

You struggle to keep your eyes focused as your body lurches forward again as he starts to pull his focus onto your clit, sucking at it and swirling his tongue all around it. You have to put your hands out in front of you, splaying them over Kylo’s impressive torso to keep yourself upright. You can’t help as your eyes shift focus, the urge to look down to where your hands rested on his stomach.

Barely a second goes by before you feel a sharp sting on your ass as Kylo lands a swift blow to your soft skin.

“I said,” he murmurs against your pussy, “keep your eyes on the mirror.”

His voice is laced with such spectacular command and authority that your eyes immediately snap back to gaze at yourself in the mirror. You moan at the sight, feeling Kylo do the same, as you both take in the view of you riding his face. You could see your own face twisted with pleasure, your mouth hanging open, your eyebrows knitted together. You could see the way your body bucked and grinded frantically, guided by Kylo’s large hands as they splayed over your hips.

You watch as your body lurches with pleasure, Kylo’s tongue moving even faster and harder against your clit, coaxing you closer to your climax. You feel rather than hear his voice in your head as he keeps his mouth busy on your pussy.

You’re close, I can feel it. Let go for me. Watch how pretty you look when you cum. Let go.

And, with a final cry passing your lips, you watch as your body shakes with pleasure when your orgasm finally washes over you.

Even you had to admit, it was indeed a sight to behold.

Main Masterlist // Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

#stranger nightmare #kinktober 2022 #kylo ren #kylo ren smut #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x f!reader #kylo imagine #kylo smut

[vibrantbirdy]

No Survivors: Kylo Ren x Female Reader Fic

Title: No Survivors Fandom: Star Wars: Skywalker Saga Genres: Sci-Fi; Action/Adventure; Enemies to (almost) Allies; Hurt/Comfort; Romance if you squint Setting: Pre The Force Awakens Characters: Kylo Ren x Female Reader Chapters: 1/1 (Complete) Word Count: 3k Warnings: Detailed (probably inaccurate) descriptions of injury/aftermath of injury (non-fatal impalement); descriptions of (probably inaccurate) emergency/makeshift medical treatment; mild descriptions of death from a crashed ship; mild sexuality; mild/canon typical swearing

Summary: You are Resistance fighter who has been captured. You are in transit aboard a First Order transport destined for an Imperial prison on the swamp moon of Delka 6. When a violent electromagnetic storm brings down the ship, you appear to be the only survivor. That is until you come across Supreme Leader Snoke's primary warlord, Kylo Ren, amid the wreckage. The volatile Ren is injured and you have to decide whether you can put your reservations aside to help him in the aftermath of the crash.

You open your eyes and your vison is blurry. Your head pounds. As the world languishes into focus, you realise that you are staring up at the clear night's sky.

But something is wrong. The constellations look strange tonight. Where is Sheyn's bow? And why does Terrin's saber have several stars missing from its hilt?

Slowly, you realise you are not lying on the soft grass in the meadow by your family's farm. Your sister is not here beside you. You are not laughing as you star gaze together and make up silly names for your own constellations.

Pekka's left knee. Channa's wonky nose.

You are not at home on Bakura at all.

Instead, you are wet through and frozen to your bones. You are lying in a marshy puddle, and sharp, thick reeds are stabbing uncomfortably into your flesh. Your saturated clothes are plastered unpleasantly to your cold skin. With each inhale, the damp smell of rot and sodden earth fills your nostrils. A cloud of tiny insects swarm around your face and bite at your skin, feasting on your blood. Then, you notice that your ankle is throbbing dully. You sit up to examine it, cringing and shivering as filthy bog water drips from the tangled mess of your soaking wet hair and down your back.

Not broken. Good.

The fuzzy outline of your memories start to take shape. This must be Delka 6, your destination. You remember the storm already raging as the prison transport juddered through orbit and into the moon's atmosphere. The sky alight with white fire flashing violently through the slit of a window in your cell. You hear the shouts and cries of others, the unholy metal screeching cacophony of the ship as rips itself apart around you spiral down helplessly into the black abyss.

You must have been thrown clear of the wreckage.

The transport had been moderately sized, equipped for long journeys with living quarters and communal areas for the Troopers and cells for twenty prisoners. Only six of these were filled by the time you reached Delka 6.

You didn't know any of them, at least not to begin with. But stuck with nothing else to do in a miserable cell for days on end, you'd joined in sharing tales through the bars with the rest of them. Stories of your family and friends and life before the First Order when you thought you might one day complete your medical training and become a doctor.

Your heart breaks for the lives lost. God speed rebels. Brave men and women of the Resistance, fighting the good fight, just like you.

That is until a botched recon job on a backwater world in the Outer Rim lead the First Order right to you...

You spot a flash of brilliant white a few meters in front of you, shocking against the grim landscape. You realise it's the helmet of a Stormtrooper, broken and smashed and sullied by the thick mud. You're surprised to feel a twang of of unexpected sympathy for the Trooper and his fallen comrades.

As you stagger to your feet, you wander aimlessly for a time, feet sinking and sticking in the marsh. Amongst the debris you come across the bodies of more Stormtroopers and fellow prisoners alike.

Here and there, fuel fires still burn ferociously, eerie little funeral pyres in the dark water.

Suddenly, a drawn out howl of pain and rage echoes across the marsh. You spin around, trying to pinpoint the location of the cry and spot a torn-off section of the transport.

You wade through the bog. It's unpleasant, especially with your aching ankle which complains as you have to rip it free of cloying, stinking mud with every step.

As you reach the remnant of the the vessel, you have to duck and weave under sparking wires and clamber over and under pieces of jagged metal. When you finally make it inside, the interior is surprisingly intact - an officer's personal quarters - and it's an odd and surreal juxtaposition to the hellish wasteland outside.

A tall young man, about your own age is half sitting, half lying on his bed. He is barefoot, clothed in simple sleeping attire of three-quarter length black pants and a loose long sleeved shirt.

He has a full head of thick, shaggy raven hair which falls in waves around his long, interesting face. His prominent, aquiline nose sits well with his other features - deep set eyes, full lips and a sharp well-defined jawline.

Under normal circumstances you would have considered him to be handsome, but you recognise him immediately even without his fearsome mask.

Kylo Ren.

You've heard the stories. Ren is Supreme Leader Snoke's formidable dark apprentice. Powerful with the Force, an elemental warrior driven by a mixture of blistering internal rage and radical First Order doctrine.

It all makes sense now. The strange, tense atmosphere between the Stormtroopers on the ship. They'd been so uptight, hardly deigning even to making a passing jest at the expense of their prisoners. All because Ren had been on the transport. Kriff knows why he needed to visit a backwater swamp like Delka 6.

Ren is propped up at an uncomfortable angle as if he has been interrupted while rising from the bed. Oddly, he is framed by a variety of metal spikes, as if the bed has been designed to resemble some dark, otherworldly throne.

After a moment, you realise that these spikes are actually durasteel rods from the ship's internal frame work. They must have slammed through the wall of Ren's sleeping quarters on crash impact.

With a jolt of horror, you suddenly understand that one rod is jutting upwards through his back and out through his left shoulder.

Ren is panting with exertion, breathing hard through his teeth. His brow is ridged in a deep furrow of pain. Sweat is dripping from tendrils of black hair into wild, anguished eyes and down his neck.

Sensing your presence, he looks up at you. His face is unguarded and softened by distress. In this moment, he appears disarmingly like any other young man.

"Please," he says quietly.

His tone is low and firm, but it is filled with a humility you don't expect. Still, you hesitate in the doorway, saying nothing. Your resolve solidifies and you stare coldly at him, wondering at the Universe's poetic sense of justice.

Ren's face hardens. Any hint of vulnerability present in his expression vanishes in an instant. His eyes darken like storm clouds as he comprehends that you are not going to help him out of his well deserved predicament.

He turns his attention back to the rod embedded in his shoulder . He puffs out his cheeks and gives a long, juddering exhale through his lips before wrapping two large, shaking hands around the pole and wrenching upwards.

It budges, but marginally, the slight movement serving only to send a new wave of agony tearing through his body. Ren snarls in pain and slams his head back against the wall in frustration, eyes squeezed shut.

After a moment, he plants both palms flat against the mattress and draws his knees up towards his body, positioning his feet flat on the bed below his bottom.

Your stomach lurches as you realise that in his desperation, he is going to try and push his body up and off the rod.

Kriff knows what he'll do to himself if he tries that and gets it wrong.

"Don't!" You shout out before you can help yourself, moving towards him instinctively, palms outstretched.

Ren looks up, narrowing his eyes and squinting at you, clearly startled to realise that you're still there.

You curse your medical training for kicking in automatically, but you know you can't leave him like this. As much as you'd like to. As much as it would be a fitting punishment for Snoke's war dog.

But you've made your decision. You stride over to him and put a hand on his heaving chest.

"Stop moving."

You are surprised as he immediately does as he is told. You look down into his pain clouded eyes and are surprised to find that they are not the black, emotionless pits you'd expected. There is a golden, amber light behind them and you realise that he really is just a man.

Climbing up on to the bed, you straddle Ren as if you are lovers. You rest a knee either side of his hips, sinking into the soft mattress and bringing yourself to rest gently on his lower abdomen. You are careful, but you feel his whole body vibrating with pain beneath you.

He looks surprised, but you ignore it. With how Ren is positioned and the need to avoid the other sharp pieces of metal jutting out dangerously from the wall, this really is the best and easiest way to assess the damage. You have a direct view of the exit wound in front of you, and you can appraise the entry wound in his back by leaning over his shoulder, all with a low chance of impaling yourself in the process.

Still, you can't help but feel a flash of satisfaction as his uncertain face flushes when you move around on top of him.

The placement of the wound is not the problem. There will be no permanent damage and Ren is extremely lucky that the metal didn't pierce a lung, or his heart.

If he has a heart, you think sourly.

The real issue, you realise, is that the pole is stuck fast through the back of the durasteel wall, gripped tightly in molten, twisted metal. No wonder he couldn't move it. You'll have to cut it and he'll have to pull it out in quick succession.

Now you know what you're working with, you grab the front of Ren's shirt and tear it open, revealing a chiselled torso. You can't stop the heat that creeps up into your cheeks and despite the pain he must be in, the most irritating ghost of a smirk flickers across Ren's face.

Now it's your turn to feel uncomfortable.

You strip him to the waist, carefully working the fabric away from the areas where the foreign element is impaled in his body.

"Where's your laser sword?" you ask.

"What?"

Ren speaks the word so quietly, but there is a sinister, cold edge to it. Suddenly the energy in the room feels heavy and oppressive.

"We need to cut this or you're not getting out," your words tumble from your mouth and you are furious that you've allowed this sudden change in his demeanour to ruffle you.

You clear your throat and the next time you speak, you've regained some composure.

"I haven't come across any actual medical equipment in this hell hole, so your lightsaber will have to do."

His expression is full of suspicion, but you hold his gaze defiantly. After a moment, he appears to acquiesce that he has no real choice.

"By the door."

He lifts his chin in the direction of the twisted sheet of metal that had once been the door to his quarters, and you see the weapon hanging from a belt on a hook on the wall.

Carefully, you extract yourself from Ren, trying not to hurt him further. It's difficult as the soft mattress bends and shifts under you. He places a big hand on the curve of your waist to help guide you and you try to ignore the glance that passes between you.

You walk across the room and unclasp the weapon from it's belt. You examine it, fascinated. The black hilt is an odd shape, roughly made, with its wiring exposed. It is far from the elegant thing you've heard described in the old tales of the Jedi Order.

But then, Kylo Ren is no Jedi.

You take up some of Ren's torn shirt, rip a length off and coil it into a something for him to bite down on. He looks at you, weary and resigned, before he takes it and positions it into his mouth, pliantly.

You make sure he understands that when he comes to pull the metal out, he must do it all in one go and make sure he follows the exact angle of the rod's path through his body.

You get him to sit up slightly. A growl, low and long resonates in his throat as he gingerly props himself up. The gap he has manged to make between his upper back and the wall is small, but you should be able to cut through the pole quickly without catching him with the blade.

Ren grips the base of the rod as close to the exit wound as he can. He takes a couple of deep, heaving breaths, clenches his jaw, then nods.

You flick the activation switch on the lightsaber's emitter and the laser roars into life, crackling and sputtering. You are suddenly overcome with an ugly feeling of power as you wield this deadly weapon. And you suddenly understand how vulnerable Ren is right now. Paralysed and defenceless before you. You could end his life in a second right here and no one would be any the wiser.

You'd be a hero of the Resistance... And a murderer and a coward for striking down an unarmed, wounded man.

So you don't.

Instead, you use the spluttering, fiery blade to quickly cut through the durasteel pole which impales Ren to the wall. The metal gives way like butter under a knife.

Ren doesn't hesitate. In one swift movement, he rips the pole from his shoulder as soon as you sever it. He gives a roar of anguish which hitches in his throat somewhere, and throws it across the room where it lands in a corner with a metallic clang.

Finally free, he leaps up from the bed as if distance from the place of his injury might help quiet the white hot pain flaring through his body. He staggers wildly and you step back out of the way, realising for the first time the enormity of his height. He collapses in a heap on the ground with a thud then rolls onto all fours, spitting the cloth out of his mouth.

Ren lets his forehead come to rest against the cool metal of the durasteel floor. He is gasping in deep, shuddering lungfuls of air, nostrils flaring with each ragged breath. You get the distinct impression he's trying not to throw up. His dark hair cascades about his face. One hand is pressed flush against the wound in his shoulder, the other, supporting his body weight, is clenching open and shut against the floor, fingers clawing at the metal tiles.

"Thank you," he utters, finally.

He doesn't move, he doesn't even look at you, but you are taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. He means it.

"Don't thank me yet," you snip coolly, "that's bound to get infected. Bacta spray?"

Ren shakes his head, although in his exhaustion, he doesn't bother to lift it from its resting place against the floor. The tip of his long nose graces the metal tiles with the movement. Ren is bleeding freely down his back and rivulets of crimson are seeping through his fingers where he is pressing against his shoulder. Bright red drops spatter on the metal floor.

You need to do something soon.

The hilt of Ren's lightsaber is still in your hand and you reignite it. Ren's head snaps up and you realise you've made a dangerous mistake by arming the blade without consulting him first.

You've heard stories about how he can hurt people, throw them about like ragdolls with just with his mind.

"We need to cauterize the wound," you explain quickly, "I can't see another option right now."

You think you see a shadow of panic cross his face, but he quickly composes himself and he nods once in reluctant ascent. With great effort, he pushes himself up to his knees and sits back on his heels. With resigned, laboured movements, he reaches out and picks up the throng of twisted fabric, placing it back between his teeth.

You move behind him. His shoulders rise and fall rapidly as his heart rate quickens and adrenaline surges through his body. Just a touch should do it, you don't want to cause more damage.

Grimacing with concentration, lightsaber feeling clumsy and unwieldy in your hand, you press the searing blade lightly against the entry wound in his back.

Ren throws his head backwards, muscles tensing down his long neck. A muffled scream escapes through the material in his mouth, but he doesn't move. He is gripping his knees tightly and you notice his knuckles are white.

You crouch down in front of him and prepare to cauterize the exit wound. He locks his gaze on you, the unstable red beam of his weapon dancing like fire in his golden eyes. He reaches out grasps the emitter, large hands coming to rest upon yours, enveloping them. His touch is almost gentle.

It's a silent plea for a moment to brace himself. It's back again, you realise, that sliver of humanity in his expression.

He inhales deeply, readying himself, then lets go of you. Without wasting time, you press the blistering blade against his shoulder once more.

This time he makes little sound, save for a low keening in his throat as he grits his teeth against the twisted length of fabric in his mouth. He keeps his penetrating gaze fixed on your eyes. You don't look away.

After it's done, you give him a small nod of approval and allow the trace of a smile to form on your lips. He did well.

You both sit down on the bed again and you set to work, using the rest of his tattered shirt to fashion a sub-par bandage which wraps around his wounded shoulder and across his muscled back.

"You're a medic."

It's not really a question, but a statement.

"I was," you say sharply, "before the First Order turned the hospital I was training at into ashes."

Silence.

You finish your work on his injury.

"There, try not to move it too much."

Once you've finished, he rises and you notice in alarm the way he towers above you. He looks down with an odd, appraising look on his face, as if he is trying to make a decision.

"Come with me."

You don't see how you can argue. You both clamber outside and you recoil as the stench of rotting vegetation from the swamp hits your nostrils. Still, you welcome the cool air on your face after the heat of your exertions and the metallic smell of Ren's blood.

"A rescue vessel will arrive soon," Ren states.

You say nothing. Some rescue.

"There is a settlement ten klicks west of here," he muses, almost casually.

"I came to look in to reports of a Resistance faction operating on this moon," he continues, "But having had the opportunity to thoroughly investigate, I will be able to report back to the Supreme Leader that this is no more than mere rumour. For now."

Ren turns to you. There is a smirk on his face and a spark of humour in his eyes. It makes his expression boyish and almost charming.

There it is again, you think. That light in the darkness.

You can't bring yourself to thank him. The words refuse to leave your mouth. But you do allow yourself to give him a reluctant half-smile of your own in return and an inclination of gratitude with a bob of your head.

With that, you set off across the bog and into the unknowns of Delka 6.

**************************************************

Kylo Ren watches as you limp westwards across the marsh. You disappeared into a cover of stunted trees and out of his sight.

Behind him, a Lambda shuttle descends. He holds the emitter of his lightsaber in one hand and his mask in the other, both salvaged from the wreckage.

Boarding the ship, Ren ignores the almost imperceptible turn of heads from the Stormtroopers who line the durasteel ramp as he traipses slowly up it bloody, filthy, shirtless and barefoot.

As he passes the Captain at the top of the ramp he utters two words in a flat, level monotone.

"No survivors."

#kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanfiction #ben solo fanfiction #star wars x reader

[write-and-wander]

Touch: Chapter 7

Pairing:  Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader

Warnings:  Swearing, angst, and a new version of the sequels

Word count:  7.6K

Author’s note: Everything comes down to this- the final chapter :)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Chapter 7: Journey's End

He’s searching for someone.  Who?  He’s not quite sure anymore.  A Kenobi not yet brought to the dark side, now running loose, should be his enemy.  Another target to hunt down before the resistance gains another leg up.  A companion gifted to him by the force, however- someone who needs him just as much as he needs her- that’s something entirely different altogether.  If he is meant to rule the galaxy with her by his side, then he now has no way of protecting her.  What if they find her first?  What if she strays from her purpose- from our purpose?

He knows that if you were to turn against him, you could very well be his downfall.  What if I don’t have the strength to stop her?

He paces the room, his mind racing through multitudes of possibilities and their solutions.  The tablet still sits open on the table, the red indicator for the missing ship’s tracker still lying to him.  You are gone.  And he has no way of finding you.  Unless…

The force has brought us together before, he thinks, focusing on you; on the shift in the atmosphere- in the force itself- when you were present.  He calls out to the force.

And it answers him.

As if rounding a corner, you walk in, your name immediately tumbling from his lips.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You’re walking- almost jogging- through the resistance base, discerning faces and scanning over heads in the search for Poe.  Come on, come on, where is he?  You pull a couple of different people aside, asking them if they’ve seen Dameron, only to be met with shrugs and wild guesses.  You start to make your way out of the main rooms and begin to weave through hallways, praying to the force that you don’t get yourself lost in the maze of the bustling base.  You come to a fork and stop for a moment before you feel the force pulling you to the left.  Rounding the corner, you stop dead in your tracks at the sound of your name and the sight of your abandoned Commander.

“Where are you?” He asks right away, his voice gentle.

Why would the force do this now, of all times?  “I need to go,” you say curtly.  You try to move past him, but he steps over, blocking your way.

“You were so close,” he says low, his brown eyes boring into yours.

You pause and take a breath to speak, but you can’t seem to find anything to say.

“Please, come back to me,” he pleads, his voice breaking, “I feel so lost.”

You shake your head, taking a step back.  He closes the gap, his face just inches from yours.

“Come home,” he whispers, bringing his arms up to your sides.  He lowers his eyes to level with yours and moves to grab your shoulders.

Just before his hands touch you, the man right in front of your face snaps to Poe Dameron, whose hands are now holding your shoulders.

“Hey, you!” he greets with a smile.

You jump, breathing hard.

“Woah, woah, hey-” his voice drops as he immediately switches gears, “you okay, Kenobi?”

Relaxing into his grasp, you let his strong arms keep you steady as you collect yourself.

“Yeah, yeah-”

“Deep breaths,” he interjects.

You nod, swallowing hard.  “I need you to come with me to Coruscant.”

“Just me?”

You nod again.

“Why?”

“I have something you need.”  You watch excitement grow in his face as he nods, taking your hand.

“Well, then, what are we waiting for?”

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You land on Coruscant shortly before Poe does, as he had followed you closely on the trip over.  You land further off than you normally would, attempting to divert attention to from your house.

When you walk in, you realize that this time, the house feels stale.  There’s a noticeable layer of dust on the surface- this place hasn’t been so well kept.  Did Vilya just… stop taking care of this place?

Poe lands even further yet, and waits a while to follow you into your home.

“So,” he starts, looking around at your home. “this yours, or?”

“Yeah,” you answer quick, focused on what you came for.  You head straight into your parent’s bedroom and withdraw the wayfinder from its hiding spot for the last time. 

Poe is looking around when you return. You hold it out towards him.  His eyes widen.

“Here.”

“How the hell did you manage to get this from them?” He asks with a grin, taking it from your hands to inspect it.

“I didn’t.”

He freezes, looking up at you.  “Then how do you have it?”  Though his words form a question, his sudden shift to a cold tone frames it more like a statement.

“It’s a long story, Poe.”

“Oh, we’ve got time,” he retorts.  He pockets the wayfinder.

Staring back at him, your expression shifts from nervous to hurt.  Does he not trust me?  I guess I didn’t think about how I would explain this to him.  How do I even begin to explain everything?

“You’re lucky I trust you,” he adds, pulling up a chair to sit and motioning for you to follow suit, “or you wouldn’t still be standing.  Now talk.”

You nod, sitting down in front of him.  You know you can’t blame him for his reaction- any person with half a brain would respond in kind.  You’ve never seen Poe this guarded before though- especially with you- and it’s unsettling, to say the least.  Shaking off your discomfort, you collect yourself.

“Remember how my parents left me a few gifts after they disappeared?”

He nods.

“That was one of them.  But it was different then.  The light in there was green.  It felt different when I carried it.”

“Different how?”

“It wasn’t anything... dark; just the opposite, actually- it was light.  And it promised hope.  And I used it to find Luke.”

“Skywalker?”

You nod.  “Turns out, he changed it so my dad could find him down the line- but when my dad disappeared, he changed it so I could use it.”

“That’s a real convoluted way of leaving an emergency contact,” he quips, relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Wasn’t my idea,” you defend, putting your hands up.

“Fair point…” he affirms with a soft smile.  “So why’d it change?”

“Well, Luke smashed it the second I showed it to him.”

Poe laughs, “right.”

You can’t tell if he was being sarcastic, but you’d rather not try to clarify.  Instead, you continue.  “But I wanted it back.  It was still something my parents gave me, and I thought maybe it was worth a shot.”

“So, what, you built a new one?”

“No, no, I, uh…” You pause, realizing this is going to sound ridiculous.  “I reached out to the force, and it… fixed it.”

Poe stares blankly.

Desperate to move things along so as to not waste anymore time, you give up on trying to explain it.  “It would make more sense if I could show you.”

“Sure,” he says hesitantly, clearly not buying your story, but not in complete disbelief either.

“May I?” you ask softly, lifting your hand to his temple. 

He shoots you a confused look, but when your expression remains completely serious, he finally nods. 

You place your hand on the side of his head and call out to the force.  Please.  Let me show him.  Show him what you showed me...  Show him the wayfinder.

Your memories flash through the front of your mind- holding the wayfinder, hiding it, using it to find Luke, watching it shatter, reaching into the dark side to retrieve it, seeing Exegol, hiding it from Poe, hearing of it on the resistance base, and handing it to Poe.  You drop your hand in your lap, watching Poe’s expression shift from confusion to resolution.

“I’ll be damned,” he murmurs.  “You’re a special one, Kenobi.”  He stands.

“So you’ll get it to Rey?”

“I will.”

“Do you think General Organa will be okay with it?”

“I think she’ll be relieved to know it’s almost over.”

You nod, taking a deep breath in relief.  It’s almost over, you repeat to yourself.

“What’ll you do?”

You stand.  “You’ll need time to get everyone ready and get over to Exegol, right?”

He nods.

“I’m gonna buy you some time.”

His face falls as he mutters your name in disbelief, his head tilting slightly to one side.

“I’ll make sure the Order isn’t on your backs.  And if they are, like I said: I’ll buy you some time.  I’m kind of a big deal over there,” you joke half-heartedly.

He shakes his head.  “Are you sure?” he asks, concern saturating his tone.  He knows better than to try to stop you- not because you couldn’t be convinced otherwise, but because he knows damn well he’d try to pull the same card if he were in your shoes.  That was something the two of you undeniably had in common- the guts it takes to come up with big plans, and the iron will to try no matter how risky. 

“I’m sure,” you answer with a deep breath, “it’s the least I can do.”

He nods, reaching out to shake your hand.  You oblige, before he immediately pulls you into a proper hug.  “Just come back to us, okay?” he whispers.

“Only if you promise to come back too.”  You pull away just enough to look him in the eyes.

Poe lets out a breathy laugh.  “You’ve got a deal.”

With one final squeeze, you both let go.

Poe heads straight to his ship and you watch him take off.

You’re about to jump into your own ship when you pause for a moment.  Though you made a promise, you both knew it wasn’t one you were certain you could keep.  You decide that, just in case you don’t make it back to your new home- to your family- you want to get one last look at the place you grew up in.  Just a few minutes can’t hurt.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

He’s tearing through space in his TIE Whisper, combing through the galaxy using the force- though it isn’t helping as much as he had hoped.  He feels like he’s holding his hands straight out in front of him, reaching into darkness, feeling around blind, hoping that eventually his fingers will graze your shoulder just long enough for him to understand how he can reach you.  She’s close.  I can feel it.

He glances at the navigator and sees a familiar planet marked on the map.  He looks up, almost as if to confirm that this map isn’t lying to him too.  Coruscant is right there.  He thinks back to the tablet- to the tracker installed in his ship that you managed to remove.  He’s hesitant.  Would she really have come here?  Where I could so easily find her?  Is she leading me away from something else?  He debates diverting his path, feeling stuck between going after his latest lead and going after you.  If she is my way forward, he reasons, then I can have both.

Arriving at Coruscant, he sees a ship parked away from your home and lands next to it.  It felt odd to be back at this place- it’s been a while since he last visited.

With your first trip home, he used the tracker in your ship to pinpoint where your house was.  In between your visits home, he would stop by to search through your house, ensuring his own security.  Unfortunately, on one such visit, he ran into a woman dressed as a stormtrooper stocking up some food in your cupboards, her face red and stained with tears.  Even worse, he recognized her; she tried to replace him years ago.  He knew it would only be a matter of time before she turned you away from him, used you against him, or managed to do both.  He was quick to dispose of her.

He leaves his helmet in his ship and walks up to the doorway, in which the door was wide open.  For a moment, he worries that this is a trap, but the thought vanishes the moment he sees you.  You’re alone, humming to yourself as you stand in the center of the main area, looking around the space.  Again, he speaks your name into the silence.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You jump at the sound of a familiar voice calling to you, whipping around to see Kylo standing in the door.

“I was worried I’d never find you again,” he professes breathily as he rushes towards you, raising his arms to embrace you.

You step back, uncertain of what to say.

He stops while his brows stitch together upward in a pained expression of confusion, arms slowly returning to his sides.

“I don’t need you anymore,” you assert, finally finding your words.  “I found someone to restore my memory.  I just wanna be home now.”

“But you promised…” he trails off.

Your heart breaks as you watch his face.  He looks exhausted.  Desperate.  Lost.  You think of the resistance and the friends counting on you as they prepare for their hardest fight yet.  You think of what Luke had said to you when you first met: ‘You can guide him back.’

“I can’t do this without you,” he adds, his voice hovering just above a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, you nod.  “Okay…  But I won’t go back to the Finalizer-”

“You won’t have to,” he interjects, “I know where to go.  Just come with me.  Please.”  He offers his hand to you.

You take it, your motions stuttering for a moment as a wave of déjà vu hits you- you’ve seen this before too.  Maybe this is how the force reassures me that this is the right way, you wonder, by reminding me of those visions.

As your hands join, you both pause to take in the moment before moving on.  Kylo leads you out of your house and onto his personal ship.  He plugs in a new set of coordinates and takes off.

You’re both silent on the way over.  Kylo is focused on piloting the ship, eager to get wherever it is you’re going as fast as possible.  Meanwhile, you’re thinking about everything that suddenly seems to be happening at once, worried that you’re bound to let someone down.  Before you can worry about it any longer, you seem to arrive at the destination as Kylo lands his ship.

He steps out and offers his hand to help you step down onto the slippery surface of the wreckage, surrounded by raging sea.  The roaring waves seem to you like a physical manifestation of the dark chaos that surrounds this place.  In your mental periphery, whispers tease as your thoughts.  You brush them off, focusing on your footsteps.  One step at a time. Keep moving forward.

Kylo guides you through the wreckage of the destroyed spacecraft, eventually making it to the room in which the wayfinder was kept.  Your heart stops as you watch him pick up a pyramid made of stone and green glass.  There’s another one?  As he picks up the guiding device, admiring it, your heart continues to sink as you realize: not only is our deal over, but now the resistance is in danger.

He turns to you.

“Is that the wayfinder?” you ask, hoping he’ll buy into your clueless act.  Think, you plead with yourself.

He nods.

“So… what did you need me for?”

“We can move forward now- together,” he begins, closing the gap between the two of you.

You pause for a moment, trying to think of something to say, desperate for a course of action.  I can’t convince him to stop.  But I can’t let him have that wayfinder.  Suddenly, it dawns on you.

You hold your hand out in front of you.  “Can I hold it?” you ask, softening your tone as best as you can.

“You won’t be able to use it.  You don’t even understand-”

“I know, but… The Force gives me visions.  Sometimes it shows me the past, sometimes it guides me towards the future.”  You place a hand on his shoulder.  “I want to understand,” you whisper.

He nods, gently placing the object in your hands. 

You take a couple of steps back as you stare down at it.  Visions of Exegol flood your mind again- but this time, darkness grows as lightning erupts from below the surface up into the sky above.  Your eyes widen.  No, focus, you reprimand yourself. You look up at Kylo.  Without another word, you think of Luke and smile.

“What do you see?” He asks as his face begins to light up.

With as much strength as you can muster, you catapult the wayfinder through the massive broken window on your left.

Kylo’s gaze follows the object as it flies into the violent waves outside.  In an instant, curious eyes flip to rage.  He draws his saber.

Without a moment of hesitation, you draw both of your own sabers.

“First, I killed your father,” he growls, his volume rising as he walks around you in a circle, “then, I killed your friend-”

Vilya, you realize in horror, no!

“Don’t make me kill you too,” he yells, his threat echoing against the metallic walls surrounding you.

With a yell, you charge at him, lifting both sabers and bringing them down towards his head.

A clash rings out as his saber crashes into your own, blocking your attack.  Kylo pushes up and to the right, forcing your blades off of his own and bringing them downward.

As he attempts to swipe at your legs, you jump and twist around to swing towards his arm.

He spins out of your blade’s path as you land and jumps off the mass of shrapnel behind him, pushing his blade straight down towards your shoulder.

You roll out of the way and jump up as Kylo swings at you again, meeting his blade with one of yours.  You aim your other saber at his side, but he swings down to catch it with is.

With an angry yell he begins to swing wildly, moving towards you.  You start to walk backwards to maintain distance, catching his blade with one of yours at the end of every swing.

Making your way out of the room, you manage to find an opening and graze his side as you spin your saber around his arm.

He retracts for just a moment- just long enough for you to turn and run.

He chases you outside of the decaying construct, catching the back of your thigh with the tip of his saber. 

With a cry, you reflexively spin around with your blades pointed towards him.  Your foot nearly slips on the soaked metal you stand on, but you manage to catch yourself and use it to slide over to dodge another attack.

Kylo continues to push you backward as he swings at you with increasing speed and ferocity, his anger guiding his every move.  He lifts his saber over his head and forces it downward, meeting both of your sabers crossed over one another in a screaming clash. 

You struggle to keep the red saber away as he pushes down, forcing you onto your knees.

“After everything I did for you,” he spats through gritted teeth, “you destroyed our future.”

Just as your arms are about to give out, the pressure suddenly lifts and Kylo stares out blankly.

He hears his mother’s voice calling out to him. ‘Ben,’ she whispers.

In an instant, you realize this is your only chance to get out alive.  I promised.  You spin back up to your feet and bring your blade down on Kylo’s thigh. 

He feels that she’s fading, and a searing pain in his leg tears him away from her, and then she’s gone.  He drops to his knees with a cry. 

Before he can retaliate at all, you’re sprinting towards his ship.  He stands to chase after you, but as he turns, he sees his father, Han Solo, standing in the way.  Another wave crashes over him.  The water comes down, and with it, Han Solo is gone.

And you are flying away.

I can still buy them time.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

When Kylo finally gets back to the Finalizer, you are the only thing on his mind.  Finding you has never been more crucial to his life’s work.

However, the moment he arrives, he’s called to the throne room.  His search will have to wait- just for a while.  Soon.

Walking in, he kneels before Snoke, who briefly delivers the news.

Time suddenly moves differently as the words ring in his mind.  ‘She’s been sent for execution.  She is useless to us now- and only a distraction to you.  A weakness to be eliminated.’

Unbridled fury blinds him and commands his body to move.  Though his mind is far from him, his body is swift in its delivery of judgement.  It all seems to move past him in a blur.  She’s dead, he hears, over and over and over in his mind, screaming louder and louder. She’s dead.  My future is gone before I could even reach her.  She’s dead.

When his body finally stops, his chest heaving in labored breath, he looks around him to see bodies scattered across the floor.  Snoke’s legs still sit in his throne, but his torso lies on the ground beside it.  The blood of the praetorian guards riddles their already-red suits with dark crimson splotches. 

He’s killed his way through everyone that attempted to confuse him- to turn him from his destiny- and yet he’s never felt so lost.

But before he has another moment to think, someone else reaches out to him.

‘Kylo Ren,’ a familiar voice called out in his mind, ‘You are losing your way- straying from the legacy of your grandfather.  Join me.  Allow me to guide you again.’

“Okay,” Kylo whispers to himself.  He finally tears his eyes away from the slaughter he’s surrounded himself with and heads to his ship, on which a map through the Unknown Regions has been transmitted.  Ignoring the unfolding chaos around him, he takes off from the Finalizer’s hangar, headed for Exegol.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

As the troopers drag you away for execution, adrenaline slows time down to a crawl.  You think about everything that has seemed to go wrong since you made it to Chandrila, and how every decision- whether for better or worse- has brought you here.  You think about your father, the man you never got to meet again who died just the same way you’re about to.  It’s almost poetic.  Almost.

You think about the people you care about.  Vilya, who sacrificed her livelihood and her life for you.  Poe, whose promise you’d be breaking.  Kylo, who may never make it back to the light.  Finn and Rey, who trained with you and welcomed you into the family you never had.  Luke, who became like a father to you.  Obi-Wan, the man who believed in you despite the odds, and would now have to be let down.

Be with me, Grandfather, you think as the troopers bring you to your knees, the laser ax humming near your ear.

‘Bring balance back to the force,’ his voice replied urgently, ‘balance, padawan.’

You hear the whispers of the dark side teasing your mind again, and this time, you take its hand.  In one swift movement, you wrench from their grasp, turn around, and lift both troopers off the ground in a chokehold with the force.  The moment they fall unconscious, you dash to the hangar, taking the lesser-known hallways and shortcuts you've grown acquainted with to get there as fast as you can undetected.  When you arrive, you run to the closest ship and hop in, taking off the moment the ship starts running.  Though some troopers notice your sudden departure via an unauthorized ship, their blasts are powerless against your escape.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Arriving back to the resistance base, you’re surrounded by chaos.  Countless ships are beginning to take off, while many others are speeding around to gather their supplies and say just-in-case goodbyes and well wishes.  Looking for any familiar face, you find Finn handing off gear to some pilots.

“Finn!” You call out over the noise of the crowd, weaving through the bodies to reach him.

His head perks up at his name, and upon your arrival, he greets you.

“Have the others left yet?”

“Rey is already there.  I think Poe is on his way, but he’s still reaching out to our allies for help.”

You nod.  “What about General Organa?” you ask, realizing the normally hands-on general is nowhere to be seen.

Finn's face falls.  He glances to the pilots, who wear a similar expression, and they take the rest of the gear before promptly heading off to their respective ships. 

“She’s gone,” he says finally.

Your heart sinks.  I didn’t know…

“But we carry on,” he adds.  “In her honor, and in the name of everyone we've lost along the way.”  Finn puts his hands on your shoulders.  “We could use your help.”

“I’m no pilot-”

“No,” he interjects, shaking his head, “Help Rey.”

“I don’t know if I can-”

“You have to try,” he pleads.

His look of desperation takes you back.

“Someone has to try,” he reiterates.  “I’ve seen you train.  You’re the only one of us who can keep up with her, and I’m worried she can’t do it alone.”

“Okay,” you nod, “I’ll try.”

He pulls you in for a hug, whispering a ‘thank you’ beside your ear.

“I’ll see you later then,” you suppose.

“See you there,” he confirms as he takes off towards the base.

You get back into the ship you had taken from the Finalizer to find that Finn sent you the map they had retrieved from the wayfinder.  With a deep breath and a prayer to the force, you take off to Exegol.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Rey steps off of her ship and onto the ground of Exegol with Leia’s lightsaber in hand.  Before her stands- no, floats- what must be an old Sith temple just above the planet’s surface.  She looks up at the massive black structure as lightning strikes the ground nearby at random.  She moves forward, eventually finding a platform that begins to lower her underground.

She watches the statues surrounding her grow in height as the platform falls lower and lower until it finally stops.  She steps off and follows the guidance of the force as it leads her into the amphitheater that holds Darth Sidious, held by the Ommin Harness, and his throne.  She slowly walks up to Sidious, who greets his granddaughter with an all-too ominous sense of anticipation. 

With words he knows will sting, Sidious taunts her, insisting that her legacy is here.  Though a comment on her parents and a threat to her friends tempts her for a moment to give in, the force pulls her back as she realizes:  I’m not alone.

You’ve arrived- she can feel it. And you’re just in time.

She steps away, the hum of her drawn saber echoing in the massive room.

Sidious senses a shift and pulls back.  At the same time, the Sovereign Protectors make their way out of the shadows.

Rey brings her blade up with a smile.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Kylo lands beside an old X-Wing fighter when he arrives to the stormy planet.  The dark side is potent here, meaning that the light stands out all the more- and Rey is a crimson stain on a blanket of snow.  He doesn’t need to see her to know that she’s already here.  In his mind, though, it’s just one more person from a long line of people that must be eliminated.

“All these lives, just for control?” The voice of Han Solo beckons from behind, stopping Kylo in his tracks.

Kylo keeps his back to the ghost of his father.  “They’re sacrifices for the greater good.  Control can put an end to the suffering.”

“The suffering will never end, son.  It’s life.  And no matter how hard you try, you’ll always find more like me- people who want to really live.”

“I killed you!” Kylo bellows, fists clenching at his side. “What makes them any different?”

“Did you?” Han asks, taking steps towards his son.

Kylo stops.  For once, he’s wordless.

“No matter how hard we try to run, we always end up back home.  The sooner you accept that, the easier your life is gonna be, kid.”

“I have no home,” he laments, turning his head back just over his shoulder.

Then, Leia speaks: “Oh, that’s a terrible excuse.”

Finally, Kylo turns around to see his father and mother standing side by side, looking at him with nothing but compassion in their eyes.

“Pave a new path, Ben,” Leia beckons.

He takes a few long moments to think. 

“There’s so many choices,” he finally whispers.

“It never matters how many options there are,” she reassures him, “you’ll know which one is right.”

“But even the right path seems so dark now.”

“The light will find you,” Leia encourages.

“It always does,” Han adds.

His parents fade, and he turns to stare out to the horizon.  With a grunt, he throws his saber.  As it arcs in the air, a bolt of lightning strikes down, running through the lightsaber and reaching the ground.  The hilt cracks as it falls to the dead earth, the kyber crystal inside shattered into pieces.

No more.

“Ben?”

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

When you arrive to Exegol, you take comfort in the feeling of having been here before; it gives you more confidence in your ability to help Rey.  Landing near the massive black box that seems to float on the planet’s surface, you notice two other ships are already there.  You take your place in line with them and step out of your ship. 

Your eyes are immediately drawn to the man you had been running from for so long now.  He stands at a distance, his body half-facing you, and yet he seems to be staring off into nothing, taking no notice of your arrival.  You watch as he throws his lightsaber into the horizon, a lightning bolt catching it as it flies.

You hesitantly walk towards him, but as you approach, you realize something is off.  The man before you is not at all the man you had come to know, and at the same time, he has never seemed to be more himself.  Suddenly, you’re reminded of one of the first times you had seen into his mind, all those months ago: the visions of his mother longing for him to come home- the sound of her calling his name.  As you look to the man before you, only one name comes to mind; so, in a shaky voice, you call to him:

“Ben?”

He turns to you.  The light.  His mind takes a moment to process the sight in front of him. He runs to you.  Before you can embrace, he stops just short.  But what if she’s only a ghost, too; here to haunt me for my failure?

You sense his hesitation, his fear, and his aching heart.  You take his hand in both of yours.  “It’s me,” you affirm softly.

His shoulders relax as he lets out a shaky, thankful breath.  She’s alive.  Despite his moment of blissful victory, he is still left unsure of what to do or say next.

Something tells you he didn’t come here to help.  Yet, you know now that he can.  Together, you think. 

“I have to do this,” you finally say, your voice carrying a greater confidence than you were used to.

“I know,” he says softly.

“And you do too.”

He nods.  “Together.”

You remove your sabers from your belt and hold them out in front of you.  Your eyes linger on the saber in your left hand- Anakin’s saber.  The one Kylo unknowingly brought you to in Tatooine.  The one Luke gifted to you and trained you with.  The one that could bring balance to the force when carried with the other.  Looking back up at Ben, you hand him his grandfather’s lightsaber.

You both draw your grandfathers’ blades as the Knights of Ren suddenly surround you.  Clashing blades and strained yells and thuds of bodies ring out in a cacophony accompanied by the sound of thunder as you fight.  As blades once turned against each other return back to weapons meant to work together, you both feel the spirits of Obi-Wan and Anakin guide your minds and your blades to act as one.  Though fighting well, the Knights of Ren could not stop the power set in motion by the two of you.

It's as if the force is using you both to heal a wound neither caused.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

Luke was first caught off guard by the smell of smoke, as if a giant bonfire had been started somewhere nearby.  It wasn’t until he saw the source of the smoke that he began to panic.

Running towards the old tree, he’s horrified to see flames engulfing the trunk.  As he begins to hopelessly attempt to put out the flames, he realizes Yoda has been standing there all along in his ghostly form.

“Help me!” Luke cries out in desperation.

“No need, there is.  Start the fire, I did.”

Luke stops as Yoda’s words sink in.  “You did what?”

“Time, it is.  Pave a new path, we must.  One of balance.  Set in motion, you must,” Yoda explains.

“But we could still use those!”

“Create something new, you cannot, if, cling to the old, you will.”

Though a little reluctant to admit it, Luke sees the truth of Yoda’s words, even if he disagreed with the drastic actions taken to underline them.  It was time to let go of the idea that there could only be one or the other- light or dark.  He could still leave a legacy, but it could be a better one; it could be dedicated to accepting the balance already within the force.

“So how do we start?”

“Your nephew- needs you, he does.  To Exegol, you must go.  Made right, wrongs will be.”

Luke wonders if perhaps the force will make a way for him, so he could still help guide his nephew; perhaps he didn’t fail Ben completely.  Maybe he could help his latest padawans, too.  But there’s only one way to know.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You and Ben manage to finish off the Knights of Ren and make it down to the throne room of the Sith Citadel by the time Rey defeats the last of the Sovereign Protectors.

As Rey steadies herself again, the three of you line up and ready your blades.  For a moment, with the each of you giving it your all, it seems you just manage to counter every move Sidious can throw at you.  We have a chance of winning this.  However, after only a few moments of vicious back-and-forth attacks, Sidious forces the three of you backward.

Holding Rey and Ben back with the lightning that streaks from his hand, Sidious force chokes you, lifting you up and towards him.  “Give into your pain,” he growls at you. 

He then turns to Ben.  “Your anger made you stronger,” he taunts.  He throws you off to the side, your back slamming into the stone wall surrounding you. 

Using the force, he holds you there, a few meters off the ground.  “And you cannot save them all,” he cackles to Rey as the ceiling of the Citadel splits open.

Hanging above you are hundreds and hundreds of ships flying amidst a massive Sith fleet.  Canon blasts riddle the sky as the ships all fire at each other.  Suddenly, a gigantic bolt of lightning arcs up into the sky, splitting into hundreds of small branches, each attaching to a resistance ship.

As the lightning shoots upward, Sidious slams you to the ground.

You hear both Rey and Ben yell as you hit the ground with a thud and blackout.

When you come back to consciousness, you look up to see Luke standing a few yards away from Sidious.  Casting out from his hands is a cluster of lightning, aimed directly for Luke.

Luke’s eyes are set on Sidious, his determination made clear in his expression.  On the other side of the bolts of lightning are Luke’s hands, catching the lightning and pushing it backward.

Sidious laughs as Luke begins to slide backwards due to the force of the attack he’s holding back.

Blueish spheres of energy begin to build in front of Luke’s palms as he finally holds his ground and begins to take steps towards Sidious.

Sidious’ expression shifts to concern as Luke overtakes the power used against him and harnesses it.

With a shout, Luke pushes the energy he had channeled back to Sidious, and suddenly the lightning bolt branching out in the air above disappears as Sidious is forced backwards.  Cracking and crashing sounds ring out as the harness holding Sidious up and keeping him alive breaks down, some pieces falling to the ground.

Luke flies backwards from the resulting explosion, landing hundreds of feet away from the fight.

Ben jumps up with his saber, set to fly down on Sidious and split him in half, but he’s stopped just inches before his blade can touch the Sith.  His saber falls to the ground as he’s held in the air.

You finally manage to get to your feet and run to Luke, but before you can make it even halfway to him, you’re suddenly being dragged backwards towards Sidious.

In just a few moments, You and Ben have been forced to your knees side by side.  You watch helplessly as beams of whispering, swirling light are drawn out for your chest and his.  You feel the force cry out as you become increasingly weaker.  Your body fights to get into overdrive as death draws near, but to no avail.

A sick laughter echoes in the chamber as Sidious watches his decomposing body come back to life, sapping the power of a dyad.

Suddenly, the pressure holding you and Ben up relieves and you both drop.

Rey stands between you, two sabers clutched in her hands.

Another arc of lightning crackles over your head, which Rey catches and pushes back with Obi-Wan’s saber.

“I,” Sidious bellows, his voice ringing out in the room and in your minds as you struggle to stay awake, “am all the Sith.”

Rey begins to push forward.  As she passes you, you can hear the voices of countless people whispering.  This time, the whispers aren’t dark, hissing threats.  Instead, light seems to glow around her as the whispers make her stronger.

“And I,” she answers through gritted teeth, drawing Anakin’s saber and crossing the blade over Obi-Wan’s, “am all the Jedi.”

She reaches the steps of Sidious’ decayed throne and forces the lightning back onto him. 

His flesh begins to rip and tear away from his bones.  He cries out in agony as his power, his throne, and his life are finally ripped away from him for the last time until there is nothing left.

The moment he’s gone, you glance up at the skies to see the Sith ships explode as the resistance ships- now recovered and revitalized with hope- destroy everything that’s left.

You smile weakly, looking back to Ben to make note of the victory, but he’s no longer there.

He sits beside Rey, who lies limp on the ground.

You manage to crawl over to her.

“Do something,” he pleads to you.

I’m the healer.  I should be able to do something.  You look down and gingerly take Rey’s body from Ben’s hands.  As you hold her, though, you sense that she is too far gone for any tincture or medicine.

“Give her to me,” Luke instructs softly as he kneels down next to you.

You look up at him hesitantly as you shift Rey from your lap into his.

“It’s time we bring an end to the Jedi, too,” he begins, looking between you and Ben as he holds Rey, one hand cradling her head while one rests on her stomach.  “One extreme will always foster the growth of the other.  Forge a new way.”

You nod, and though you don’t understand why, something churns in your stomach telling you that this is goodbye.

Ben nods, and it seems he understands more than you do.  “Thank you,” he whispers, his eyes sparkling as they well up.  A tear gently rolls down his cheek in silence.

With a soft smile, Luke closes his eyes and calls out to the force one last time.  He takes a deep breath.

Rey’s breathing grows stronger as color comes back to her body.  She looks over to you, then to Ben, then to Luke.

You smile at the sight of Rey sitting up, her strength renewed.

She turns to Luke to thank him, but before the words make it out, Luke disappears.

You blink a few times as you look down to see his robes left behind in his place.

Rey turns back to you both with a grin, sharing a knowing look.

Though he’s gone, you realize you can still sense his presence, and you finally understand.

Without wasting another moment, you pull Rey and Ben into an embrace.  You all let out a breathy, almost incredulous laugh.  We did it.  We won.

You all help each other onto your feet and stand.  Rey gathers the robes of her mentor and calls the stray sabers to her hands.  You and Ben take your sabers back from Rey and look up to the skies. 

Though the ships are no longer firing, and most are still, you can almost hear their cheers from down here.  One by one, the resistance and their allies begin to take off, heading back to wherever they came from.

The three of you silently return to your ships.  Rey gets into hers first.

“I’ll meet you there,” you promise.

She nods, thanking the both of you one last time, and takes off to return to the resistance base.

You watch her leave before looking back down at Ben, who can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. 

He closes the gap between you and wraps his arms around you in a strong embrace.

You return the affection without a moment of hesitation.

While you’re holding each other, it feels as if something has finally finished; as if a chapter is closed- one that you both-and the force itself- were waiting for all along.

You let go just enough to see Ben’s face and, with as much courage as you have left, kiss him.

When you finally pull away from each other, you both wear a bright smile.

“I need to return to my friends,” you finally say.

“Go,” he encourages, walking backwards to his ship.

“Where will I find you?”

“I’ll be home.”

You laugh as you watch him take off.  You know he means your home, in Coruscant- but, you do like the idea of sharing it with him.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• 

Arriving back to the resistance base, you struggle to find a place to land among the scattered ships that were hastily parked and the masses of people celebrating the final victory.  Eventually, you do find a place to comfortably park your ship.

Although you’re exhausted from the insane day you had just endured, you’re also antsy to see your friends again.  You wander through the clusters of people, scanning for anyone you recognize.  You realize trying to ask anyone for direction would be hopeless- not just because they would have no real answer, but also because they’re caught up in their own moments.  Finally, your eyes land on Rey and Finn, locked in a tight embrace. 

You jog over to them and see a weary looking Poe approaching the couple.  You run straight to him, nearly toppling him over in a hug.  He lets out an easy laugh.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“For what?”

“For keeping your promise.”

“Only because you kept yours,” he answers, relief clear in his voice. 

You lightly peck his cheek and pull away.

He gives you a wink before Finn barges in and hugs Poe, the two of them laughing.  You turn to Rey and the two of you embrace again, your laughter joining the cacophony of jubilation that surrounds you all.

It’s over.  You all won.  And you can change the future for the better.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •• 

After some retellings of the battles you each fought and making plans to meet up again to discuss the journey that now lies before you all, you decide it’s time to head back home.  You start making your way back to your ship to see Luke leaning against it, grinning as he waves at you.  Beside him is Obi-Wan, arms crossed, watching with a smile.  The two of them, though appearing to you clear as day, seem to be somewhat translucent.  You stop in your tracks.

“Thank you,” you whisper to them, “for everything.”

With a wink from one and a nod from the other, they fade away.

You get back to your ship and arrive at Coruscant to see Ben standing outside, leaning against the doorway of your home as he watches the sunset.  When you reach him, he lifts and spins you in another hug, setting you back down with a kiss.  There is so much to say, but for now, it will have to wait.

The two of you head inside to celebrate, rest, and dream about the future you will create together.

(Epilogue)

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x fem!reader #kylo ren x OC!reader #fem!reader #OC!reader #female reader #original character #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren self insert #star wars self insert #star wars sequel trilogy self insert #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren fanfics #kylo ren fanfictions #kylo x reader #x reader #self insert fanfiction #self insert fanfic #self insert #kylo #star wars #reader insert #touch #touch chatper 7 #touch: chapter 7 #touch: chapter 7 #touch part 7 #touch (part 7) #star wars series

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Under The Mask - Kylo Ren / Ben Solo X Female Reader

Title: Under The Mask

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo X Female Reader

Additional Characters: Rey, Poe (Mentioned), Finn (Mentioned), and Palpatine (Mentioned)

Requested

WC: 1,553

Warnings: Mention of death, insecure Reader, some fighting, slight angst, blasters mentioned, lightsabers mentioned, feeling sick mentioned, enemies to lovers, feels, and fluff

You and Kylo Ren have had a strange relationship, if you could even call it that. You had fought beside Rey and the others in the Resistance when he came with his lightsaber ignited. You were in the Resistance hideout when you felt something. It was an odd feeling, something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it was as if someone else was trying to get your attention. It felt like a whisper, more like an echo from a far off room than anything else. You felt pulled towards something, subconsciously making your way to the control room, where Rey stood. 

"He's here." She spoke, her voice filled with emotion as she turned around, her eyes meeting yours.

"Kylo?" You asked, staring at the brunette before turning back to the control panel.

Rey furrowed her eyebrows, "Yes. Are you alright? You look ill." She placed a hand on your forehead, feeling the heat radiating out of you, "I think you're sick."

You sighed softly, "No, I'm fine, Rey." Rey looked unsure but nodded anyway. "We have to get rid of him."

A couple of weeks after that, it happened again. You were taking a small stroll on another Resistance planet, the trees loomed over you, the ground covered in moss. You had to get out of the base. Being stuck in there for days upon weeks made you feel antsy. You walked down the path, following it to a clearing until you stopped. A wave of nausea went through you and you found yourself leaning against a tree as you tried to keep yourself upright. The world around you grew dim, as your surroundings became blurry. You felt like you were sinking into the ground beneath you. Breath labored, you looked up, spotting a dark figure before you.

Kylo watched you as you steadied yourself, placing your hand on the tree behind you. Blinking rapidly, you gained back your strength, the feeling of nausea subsiding.

"Are you alright?" He asked, voice manipulated by his mask.

"Did you do that?" You asked, your own voice soft as you cleared it.

"No. But, I feel as if you won't believe me." He answered, taking a few steps forward.

"You saying that really doesn't help that matter,” You said,  crossing your arms. Your words came out a bit harsh, but you didn't care. You weren't going to let this guy mess with your head.

The masked man stopped, seeming to hesitate before stepping closer. Your eyes widened and you quickly backed away, your back hitting the tree.

"I'm not here to hurt you." He then said, but you shook your head, unable to look away from him. Especially the lightsaber that was clipped onto his belt.

"As if I'll believe you. Kind of low for you to try and attack me when I am without a weapon." You said, raising an eyebrow.

Kylo sighed, "I am not going to hurt you. You are not my target."

You frowned, "Yeah, Rey is. Now, why are you telling me all this anyway?"

"We are not so different you and I-"

"Oh, don't give me that," You interrupted him, "We are not the same."

Kylo looked at you for a moment, debating whether or not he should tell you what he knew. "You feel it? That strange feeling? It overtakes you from time to time?"

"Yes. How do you know about that?" You asked, glaring at the man in the mask.

"It's the Force bond between us," He paused before continuing, "It's strong. Strong enough to make you feel weak."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "Are you telling me that the feeling I get is because of some Force bond that I have with you?”

Kylo stared at you, his expression unreadable, "Yes. Don't deny it. The Force has already bonded us together."

Your jaw dropped, your eyes wide. Before you could say anything more, Kylo left.

For the next couple of weeks, every time you closed your eyes, there he was. His face appeared in your dreams almost every night. At first, you chalked it up to stress; but as more nights passed, the thought that maybe he wasn't always there made you wonder if he was actually real. So much so, that you started to consider contacting him. But, you had no way to. Half of you wanted to know the truth, while the other wanted to get rid of whatever spell had been cast on you.

It had been over a month until you saw him again, during another walk of yours. You felt that he was there before you really knew it. It was almost as if you heard him calling to you too. Like his voice was right on top of you and all you had to do was turn your head slightly. He stood there without his mask, surprising you. Your eyes raked over his once-hidden features and suddenly, you were drawn to him. Who knew he had a head of curls under there? Something told you not to run, not to pull your blaster, to follow him. Something in you told you that he wouldn't hurt you, that he was only looking out for you. 

"Why are you here?" You finally spoke up the fear that you'd wake up from this dream leaving you almost breathless.

"I wanted to see you," Kylo said, his eyes scanning your form.

"How did you find me?"

His lip curled slightly as he smirked, "There are many ways to find someone, especially if you spend enough time looking."

Your face flushed at his response, "Maybe I don't want to be found." You muttered, "Especially by you." You added, only for Kylo to take a few steps forward; stopping a few feet away from you.

"As I said, I wanted to see you," He replied, his gaze on you.

"So, you followed me." You said, your tone accusing.

"I have my reasons."

A small sigh escaped you, "You confuse me, Ren."

Kylo raised an eyebrow, "I confuse you?" He asked, making you laugh lightly, looking up at him with a small smile.

"Yeah, a lot."

It was a long time before you saw Kylo again. And a lot was happening. Rey had been gone for a long time, along with Finn and Poe. From what you understood, Palpatine was alive and Rey went to stop him. Meanwhile, you were stuck at the base doing nothing. You were bored and frustrated. It seemed as though everyone else was busy with their own problems. As you were packing up your things from the base, you heard heavy footsteps. The odd feeling came back, making you tense up a bit. Yet, a rush of excitement flew over you. You turned around to face the sound.

Your eyes widened at the sight of Kylo at your door, his hair was frazzled as was his breathing. He stared at you with wide eyes, before making his way to you.

"What are you doing here, Kylo?" You asked in a hushed whisper, not wanting anyone to find him.

"It's Ben. Ben Solo." He corrected you softly.

You nodded slowly, "Ben... Why are you here? Not that it's not good to see that you're okay..."

He looked hesitant as he continued to speak, "I wanted to see you before I went to Exegol."

"Wait, Exegol? Why are you going there?" You asked, your brows knitting together.

"I want to help Rey in defeating Palatine." He answered, making your eyes widen.

"What? Why?" You asked frantically, biting your lip.

"She needs my help."

"She'll be fine without you." You argued, "Besides, what if you don't come back? I've heard of Palatine's powers with the Force..." You questioned, stepping closer to Ben. "Is it Rey? I know you also have a bond with her." You then asked softly, fear and insecurity engulfing you.

Ben opened his mouth to respond, but then his lips pressed together into a tight line, taking time to think before responding, "Yes, we do have a bond, but it's not like ours, Y/N." Ben began, hesitantly reaching out and taking your hand in his. "Ours... It's like two parts that fit perfectly. It's stronger than the bond I share with Rey. More powerful even."

You smiled, trying not to blush at the sensation his skin gave, "I'm still scared, Ben." You whispered, your smile turning into a frown.

Ben reached out and placed a finger under your chin lifting your head up so that you were staring into his eyes, "We'll see each other again, I promise."

You nodded, taking Ben's hand in yours; placing it on your cheek. "Just please stay safe. If something happens to you, I can not bear to lose anyone else... Especially you." You said, your voice cracking.

Ben smiled softly, leaning down to kiss you gently. The kiss was gentle and tender, his fingers brushed against your cheek, sending tingles through your body. Once they pulled apart he lowered his forehead, his nose brushing against yours, his warm breath caressing your skin.

"Goodbye, Y/N." He whispered.

"Goodbye, Ben." You responded, closing your eyes.

You felt him pull away, opening them to find his figure disappearing down the hallway. Sighing, you bit your lip, hoping Ben would come back to you alive.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #ben solo #kylo ren #ben solo x reader #ben solo x female reader #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you #star wars #x reader #x female reader #enemies to lovers #cute #slight angst #fluff #star wars fanfiction #star wars tlj #star wars tfa #requested #request #requests are open #requests #requests open

[star-killer-md]

Dream A Little Dream of Me Pt. 9

I’m just going to conveniently not say anything about the whole ‘it’s been two years since my last update thing’ and instead give a huge thanks to all the people who have continued to express amazing love and support for this fic despite it being unfinished for so long. You're all the best and have singlehandedly motivated me out of hiatus. I will finish this fucking thing even if it takes me another two years lol. Anyway I see all your messages and comments and I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy! <33

AO3 Mirror

Part 8

Part 10 to come

Warnings: the usual amounts of angst, but also some comfort! we’re growing <3 I promise the smut is coming in the next part

Summary: In which weaknesses are discovered and a friend is made.

Ship: Kylo Ren x Negotiator!Reader

Word Count: 7.8k

It was damp on the floor of the bathroom. The condensed steam from your shower the night before had collected on the smooth tiles and fused the skin of your thighs to the grout. You had hoped that by staying there, bare and wet and curled against the vanity, that you might become one with the walls. Might decay in the space of a night and melt into the molding. 

You already shared many similarities in regards to autonomy with, say, a nice side table or perhaps a sturdy desk chair—reliable yet held to the behest of whatever was set down upon you—that it wouldn’t be too much of an adjustment. 

But the powers above were, at best, indifferent; you remained held together by joints of bone rather than wood, and your responsibilities still weighed on you as light began to filter in under the door.  

Perched feet away and seemingly impervious to the tepid moisture of the air, however, the notebook sat after being abandoned an hour or so before dawn. You’d gone over it so many times now, deciphered the handwriting of a power hungry lunatic—of which you were in no short supply—stupidly hoping there would be some secret, some sense hidden that you could find. Something you were missing that would make all of this microscopically better. 

You found nothing. 

And the longer you read, the more you committed to memory, the darker the pit in your stomach grew. The more sour taste bubbled up from the back of your throat as though something in you really was rotting. 

Peeling yourself off of the floor and padding out into the main room, you found it predictably empty. There was only a slight and purposeful rumpling of the sheets, a few delicately presented strands of dark hair, that made the curdling taste grow stronger. 

All the hints of his stay in your bed, the blankets tossed around as though it were an afterthought, reeked of an unawareness your Commander did not possess. 

It screamed: 

Here is the evidence of the crime. 

Look at what you’ve missed. 

Not very much. A warm body between you and the doorway for only the night, hands that would only touch you softly when you wouldn’t remember it, mint scented words that made impossible promises.

No, not very much. The words shouted out in your head and you did not care whether the man in question heard you. 

Or where he was now for that matter. 

He certainly didn’t  tell you, no other deviations from the norm were allowed. No mercy. Not from Kylo Ren. 

There was, however, a small slip of paper torn off the complimentary notepad, resting on the bedside table. 

“Don’t leave this room,” it read in some of the neatest print you’d ever seen. 

You took a moment to set aside your anger and appreciate the penmanship in a time in which years could go by before you’d ever seen anything written by hand—notebook of a madman notwithstanding. The ink was firm and even as though perfect pressure was used to push the pen to the paper and there were fine lines which connected each letter despite the fact that it was not cursive. As though his normal scrawl was looping and graceful, but he’d chosen print to be sure you could read it. 

Someone had taught him that, you thought then. Someone had sat down and guided his much smaller, clumsy hands to copy lines and hold the pen so that it would put a divet on the edge of his middle finger. An image came to mind of his massive shoulders hunched over the little table, uncapping the pen between his crooked teeth and writing out his unnecessary command. 

It made your chest warm and tight and quelled just a bit of the roiling in your gut. 

You trailed a finger softly over the indents left on the page, and fought to keep the small smile threatening to appear off your face.

Another thing you’d never considered he would do. Sleep, eat or drink—black coffee and room temperature fruit—brush his teeth and smell of regulation mint, write you notes…

He seemed always to be full of these things you thought him incapable of. 

Next you’d discover that he crocheted in his free time. 

But you put those thoughts away before you fell victim once again to that pesky little habit of yours. To melt like butter in the sun at the sight of the ordinary. You considered, instead, the horrible notion that it may all be manufactured. That the sticky sweetness dripping down your spine then was placed there on purpose, orchestrated by Atreus, the man currently trying to end your life, the very same life he’d apparently controlled, for a few more rungs up the ladder. 

And, if true, was everything Kylo Ren felt but would not say artificial too? Like everything in the First Order. Transplanted into your Commander who otherwise would not have cared for you at all?

Which then begged the question;

Was fabricated obligation still obligation?

Did the intention matter here?

It was as though you were back again, tucked into your small quarters, with a closet full of uniforms and water that was always the wrong side of lukewarm, your life as expendable and just as identical to every other officer that had the misfortune of walking the halls of Starkiller Base. When all you had were dreams to set you apart, to keep you going. 

You supposed it was best that the note—tucked into your bags for safekeeping—was all you had now. 

Just like back then, not really so long ago, the anger was easier. 

You wouldn’t know what to say to him anyway, and the thought of facing Kylo Ren—the person, the Commander—was bitter. Like the shattering of an illusion. You’d like to think you were never one to avoid problems, professional or otherwise. Whether that was out of personal habit or it was beaten into you by Hux who would have had you taken to the bridge and shot if you dared ignore an issue, you didn’t know. But now you couldn’t help but feel like drawing out the final moments before the ball dropped. 

For the first time in a long time, since perhaps your academy days, you wished very deeply to pretend for a while longer, that you had not read what was written on the pages you’d memorized hours before, instead of rushing headlong into the fire. 

Pretend that the frustration you felt towards Kylo Ren was simply because he’d destroyed another conference room or pissed off another senator’s son and later tonight you’d wrap yourself in scratchy synthcloth sheets and close your eyes so he could melt away all that dark, pulsing anger with calloused hands. 

And it seemed that, for once, you may have gotten your wish. 

Your head turned abruptly as someone rapped lightly on the door. A bolt of adrenaline coursed through you suddenly, making your hands shake as you frantically grabbed for one of the complimentary bathrobes before shuffling warily over. 

“It’s me!” came a cheery and blessedly familiar voice from the hall. 

You unclicked the lock and pulled the door open immediately. 

“Hiya,” Lem said, looking almost comically disheveled in your doorway and peering down at you with eyes crinkled at the corners from his grin. “Can I come in?”

He was also dressed in a bathrobe, his hair undone and forming slight waves that brushed his cheekbones, dusted pink. In his hands he held two mugs, clearly swiped from the kitchens on the ground floor and an equally stolen, and rather expensive, looking bottle of Coruscanti sparkling wine. 

“Uh, sure,” you mumbled, shooting him a confused look and fighting to keep the smile off your face at the hilarity of seeing him in such a state. 

“Oh thank god,” he sighed, pushing past you into the room and wandering over to your table to set down the bottle and mugs. “I was afraid you’d have gone before I finished my smuggling.” 

“And what exactly do I have to do with your smuggling?” you asked, laughing despite yourself and leaning back against the door. 

“Well I felt horrible blowing you off last night, so I thought I’d help you finalize your speech,” he picked at the foil cork covering for a moment before tearing it off completely with his teeth and opening the bottle with a resounding pop, “I also have my own causes for celebration.” 

He certainly did. Even from across the room, you could see the dark bruise, speckled at the edges on the side of his neck and a few more dipping below the plunging neckline of his robe. His skin and warm eyes glistened and his teeth poked out between thin lips with the effort to keep from smiling. 

You remembered the circumstances for his ‘blowing you off’ and sighed. 

Lem looked so…in love. So much so, even you could recognize it. 

And you found you didn’t hate him for it. 

“How kind of you,” you said, accepting the mug of wine—which broke so many rules of etiquette it was almost painful—and took a real sip. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

It was Lem’s turn to peer at you quizzically. 

“I wanted to.” 

He said it was the simplest thing in the world. And maybe it was in his. You wished briefly that sort of sentiment came naturally to you as well. 

Maybe that was why you never quite fit in with the other officers. Maybe that was how they sniffed you out and tried to tear you out of the chain of command, like just another weak link. 

You wondered how Lem could have ever thought he’d belong there with his rosy cheeks and his caring that he may have abandoned you. 

He downed his mug in one go and poured another without a second thought. Neither of you mentioned the fact that you were both clearly wearing nothing more than a robe. You appreciated the solidarity. 

“I guess we can get to it then,” you said, gesturing to the bed. “Sorry my other chairs, uh, broke, so—”

Lem cut you off by launching himself back onto the rumpled pillows and destroying any of the vague messages left for you that morning. He laughed again and patted the pillows beside him. 

You bit your lip to stop from grinning back. 

“You’ve got to apologize to him in here somewhere,” Lem huffed, gesticulating with your datapad in hand and taking another sip of wine. “Truly it’s impressive that you’ve managed to avoid it completely seeing as it was the entire point of the thing.” 

“Never underestimate the First Order, Mr. Alba,” you replied, not looking up from the outfit you were attempting to lay out for the day. 

Lem chuckled behind you. In your mind, you could perfectly picture the little roll of his eyes and the slight, incredulous shaking of his head. 

“Well, I’m adding it into the third paragraph.”

Your eyes wandered as he continued nitpicking and stumbled across the faint outline of a bloody boot print on the floor and quickly tossed a loose top over it. 

“I really wish you wouldn’t.” 

Dark eyes peered at you from narrowed lids.

“It’ll never get approval if I don’t,” he muttered and you heard his fingers tapping away, rewriting the lines. “And don’t wear that top, it’s too heavy. The second one you had was better.” 

“I didn’t know you were branching out into fashion consultation too,” you griped, but put the hanger in your hand back on the rack. He was probably right anyway. They always cranked the heat during these things. You’d done it before, to make them ‘really sweat’ Hux always said. 

“ I’m actually not too great at all that,” Lem had drained the rest of the wine from the bottle and was currently rolling onto his back, head halfway off the mattress so his hair brushed the comforter and revealed his face. “Jane likes it though. Did you know you’re not meant to mix black and brown leathers? Quite tacky, I’m told.” 

“Who?”

You held up a few options of matching bottoms and continued deliberating, only glancing back after a few seconds of what you discovered was stunned silence. 

“Jane. Jane my—” Lem cut himself off, his mouth hanging open, aghast until it dawned on you. 

“Oh! Oh, right, yes the waiter boy,” you nodded and tried to look a bit abashed. “Did he say anything about which of these bottoms would be best?”

“You’re shameless.” 

He was right side up when you looked over this time, still sprawled out but leaning on his elbows. More of his robe gaped open at the front, showing a line of bruises that seemed to hilariously have been sucked into the shape of a heart just under his collar bone. 

Lem followed the line of your gaze and quickly moved to cover himself. “The first one.” 

“Give him my thanks, will you?” 

You thought your companion looked much less scandalized than he probably would have been if not for the wine. Mostly because you, yourself, were feeling much less tight lipped than usual. 

“You’re just jealous that you’ve not got yourself a man who would,” he gestured vaguely to his chest, “for you.” 

Something about that statement itched a bit at the back of your neck, but you laughed nonetheless at the mere image of Kylo sucking a heart of hickies onto your throat. 

“You’re right, I definitely do not have one of those,” you said. 

In the ensuing silence, you padded over and flopped back down on the bed next to Lem so the two of you lay head to foot. It was quiet for a moment more, just the peaceful sound of breath and the slight crumpling of linens. 

Your face felt warm, whether from the wine or from what you were about to ask you didn’t know. You embraced the burn of cracking open. 

“Do you love him?”

Lem shifted next to you. Maybe trying to catch a glimpse of your face, but you didn’t bother looking back at him. 

“Jane?” he asked and continued without waiting for your answer. “Yeah, of course I do.” 

“How do you know?”

He thought for a bit at that and you could feel the rotting, twist in your stomach returning. You almost lost your edge and told him to nevermind, forget you’d asked. It was just the wine. Wasn’t it? The two of you weren’t close, it was an odd thing to ask someone you’d only just met. 

“Because I’d do anything for him,” Lem said, after a moment. “Not just little things, but die and kill and all that existential stuff.” 

“Really?” you asked, overcome by a sudden desperation to hear his answer. “You’d kill for him?”

“If he needed it. I wasn’t sure before, but I am now.” This time the answer was instantaneous, but the question that followed took its time bubbling out of his throat. “Do you think that’s enough?”

It was your turn to try fruitlessly to peer down at Lem who had turned his head to the side and mumbled his question into the blankets. You flopped back down and thought for a moment. 

Thought of the bloody boot print on the floor, and a dark shadow standing between you and whatever threat waited just beyond the door. You thought of hands that dragged you back from the depths. Of pretty waves and dark hair that hid the world from view—acts of devotion. 

“I’d love anyone who’d do that for me.”

It wasn’t until you heard Lem’s answering hum that you realized you’d spoken at all. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

A short while later, after checking the time, Lem scrambled to grab his mugs and abandoned bottle, rushing off to get his own outfit picked out for the long day ahead. 

You walked him to the door, but he paused before you could swing it open.  

“Thanks,” he mumbled, using his free hand to pull you tightly to his chest. “You’re a good friend.”

You froze on the spot, arms hanging limply by your sides, unable to recall when exactly you’d ever done this before, as he crushed your ribs for a brief moment and stepped back. Strangely your eyes had begun to sting the second your cheek made contact with his shoulder and your voice felt strained when you spoke. 

“See you later,” you said as he stepped out into the hall with a final, grin before shutting the door behind him. 

“I wonder if I could speak with you for a moment.”

The first meeting of the day had only just finished and your heart sank as you stopped in your tracks just outside the conference room door. Other, blessedly free staffers continued to flow out into the hall, taunting you as they disappeared through the elevators or down stairwells. 

You couldn’t have ignored that voice even if you’d tried—which was tempting though ill-advised. Not with the words dripping down your spine and sticking to your hands, thick and sickly as oil. Atreus didn’t bother to phrase it as a question, though it wasn’t quite a demand either. Just a statement, confoundingly neutral. 

“Of course,” you replied, expression schooled—blank and polite even as his face alone, angular and bone sharp, elicited a blur of frantic handwritten maniacal plans to flash behind your eyelids. “I have some time free this evening if you’d-”

“Oh no,” pale eyes bored into you, setting the hair on the back of your neck on end. “I’m afraid my schedule only permits a few minutes currently. If you please-” 

He stepped back as the last few people from the prior hour’s meeting filtered out of the conference room, and gestured for you to follow. It was harder than you’d like to admit to squash down the shot of panic that coiled in your gut. You clasped your hands behind your back so he would not see them shaking—an old trick Hux, of all people, had bestowed upon you once a long time ago. He seemed to use it himself quite frequently. 

With a deep breath, you followed Atreus inside. 

“What is it you’d like to discuss,” you began, placing yourself squarely by the door. “If it’s about my speech, I’d be happy to receive any critiques during my scheduled presentation. I believe it’s right after lunch.” 

“Actually no,” Atreus sighed, a strange and out of place sort of sound from a man who seemed so perpetually smug. Dejection was not a look he wore well. Or convincingly for that matter. “I believe you are owed an apology.”

What. 

You blinked. 

“Excuse me?”

Very rarely could you say you’d ever been truly blindsided on the job. You were well seasoned. The First Order was no stops barred when it came to the disturbing, disgusting, and blood-soaked. Needless to say, it took a lot to shake you after years of what amounted to incredibly effective exposure therapy. It was probably very telling in a way you shoved immediately down your throat, that an apology of all things was what sent your brain flashing a great big error screen. 

The shock must have shown clearly on your face, because Atreus chuckled at the apparent crack in your exterior. 

“Yes, I’m sure you aren’t accustomed to this sort of thing in your line of work,” he mused, leaning down against the table top across from you. 

In your haze, you noted it lowered him just enough that he had to look up to meet your eye. 

“No,” you flashed him a tight lipped smile. “I’m only a bit uncertain what you’d be apologizing for .” 

That may have been your best lie yet. The actual list went on farther than the list of the Order’s confirmed galactic war crimes. Trying to have you killed hovered close to the top of the list, right next to the fact that his hairline only receded on the right side of his head and not the left which was somehow more frustrating in that moment than the ongoing murder plot. 

“Well I believe Mr. Alba may have made some,” Atrues paused, shifting to look down at the floor briefly, the movement made him slouch as he continued, “ inappropriate comments concerning you and your superior during our dinner last night which I feel I may have inadvertently encouraged.”

You crossed your arms in a mostly subconscious and defensive gesture. Dinner had certainly been an uncomfortable affair, but no more uncomfortable than any other interaction you’d had the displeasure of experiencing during your time on Coruscant. There was something distinctly off putting both about the way that he had so clearly thrown his own fellow staffer under the proverbial bus and in his particular placement in the room. 

Worthless insect of a man, you thought as loudly as possible. Hoping that leaning into the anger growing in your chest, you might stop shaking in your boots. 

There was still the unsettling feeling of being ensnared, trapped despite the exit free and clear. Still teeth digging into the meat of your leg, your brain quickly parsing out whether it was better to simply chew it off to escape or face the creature before you. 

“I can’t recall Lem making any untoward comments regarding the General or myself,” you said, annoyed more on Lem’s behalf than your own. He certainly made quite a few impulsive quips, but you didn’t feel any pleasure hearing the criticism come from someone else’s mouth other than your own. 

Maybe that’s what being friends was, you wondered distantly, determined to ask him the next time you got drunk together. Whenever that was. Hopefully soon. 

“As I said, I may have encouraged the conversation down a less than savory path,” Atreus sat then in one of the abandoned chairs, placing himself even lower as you remained standing. “In any case, I’m sure no one meant to insinuate any sort of unprofessional relationship between you or any of your superiors, the General or otherwise. I would not want to have inadvertently offended our honored guest from the Order.”

“Well, you have my thanks for your concern,” you could feel your palms begin to sweat, slick heat that had your nails biting into the muscle of your hand. “As I said, I work only for General Hux, and I’m sure no one, Lem or otherwise, meant to imply there may be some relation between us other than that of a subordinate and superior.”

You hoped your hidden meaning was plain, even as the man, if he could be called that, across from you acted as though he did not notice. Acted as though this was not the battle he’d clearly meant it to be and refused to take your bait, refused to play the game. Acted as though the whole of it was genuine, as though he was capable of concern for your comfort, 

As though—

And maybe it was the way he looked at your through his lashes, brows knit just a touch to wrinkle the skin and how his pale eyes were shaded just enough to appear a slightly deeper blue, the light streaming into the room making his hair seem to shine in the light—but you finally placed why exactly you felt so threatened in spite of the seeming lack of visible threat.

You’d felt this way once before, back in your academy days and it had stuck with you ever since. One of the very few times there actually had been a lesson in a disciplinary action. You and another recruit had been caught out fighting—verbally, something trivial enough that you couldn't remember the details—and were lectured thoroughly on the less than professional display. 

But it wasn’t the lecture that stuck, it was your classmate’s response. 

You knew him well enough, vicious and cruel in a way that made him a perfect fit for a First Order Officer but you’d watched from the hall as he’d curled in on himself, groveling to your instructor in such a way that needled something deep and instinctual in your brain. 

Not quite right, not quite human, but the facsimile of remorse. 

That was exactly what you were looking at now. A poor impression of the way Lem glanced at you during meetings, a gross misinterpretation of worry lacking any of the warmth and foolish sincerity that came from the man who’d just brought you wine and helped pick your clothes. 

Hugged you. 

Called you friend. 

It was that same part of your brain that lit up now, alerted to the presence of something almost . Some attempt at emotions this thing before you could never hope to capture. 

Playing at something only understood in concept and never felt. 

What you couldn’t really parse out was why.

“I’m sure you’re glad of it,” he replied smoothly. “Respectfully, I have not heard the other members of the triumvirate to be easy individuals to work with.” 

“I wouldn’t know, really, my contact with them is limited,” you said in as conversational of a tone you could muster up, pulling out your data pad as though to check the time. “They’re very busy people, as you can imagine.” 

“Is that so?” Atreus mused, and you watched him through your peripherals as he stared pointedly, frown melting from his face as you looked back up. “Your reputation seems in conflict with that.”

“Well cleaning up after someone else’s messes does not usually entail much contact with the man responsible,” you powered off the screen and took a step back towards the door, hoping to talk your way into an exit by divulging just a bit. “I’m afraid if you were hoping to be regaled with stories of our illustrious Commander, you’d have much more luck speaking to the General. He’s always happy to share his frustrations in that area.”

“Really? I’d have thought you’d have seen a great deal of Commander Ren considering the circumstances.”

Oh you’d seen a great deal alright, unruly mind supplying you with plenty of supporting evidence in the form of a wide expanses of bare, freckled skin and thick, corded thighs, dark eyes and crooked teeth with little gaps that left the tip of his pink tongue poking out, nearly the same shade of pink as—

Yes. 

A Great Deal. 

“No, I’m afraid not.” You took back your earlier statement. This was most certainly the best lie you’d ever told.  “Apologies, but I do have another meeting I have to attend.” 

“Yes, of course.” 

You tamped down the increasingly loud voice in your head telling you to sprint full speed out of the room and not stop until you’d put at least a few light years between yourself and the man behind you. There was a pressure at the base of your neck the second you turned your back to him. A familiar and otherworldly sensation of hands pushing in on your temples, pinching the skin and bone. But there was no flash of images that accompanied the intrusion, just blank pain that increased until it felt as though you’d taken a blaster bolt straight through your skull. 

And then, nothing. As though the sensation had been ripped away, forcefully until you stumbled forward through the door. You only looked back for a moment, too caught up in the ensuing panic to bother keeping up appearances. 

But it was long enough to catch the gaze directed at your back.

And in it you saw fear. 

The room was quiet when you returned, just as the light was beginning to fade, casting the walls with a dying red glow. You toed off your shoes at the door and let it drift closed behind you. No chairs today, both because Kylo had shattered your last one and because it somehow felt unnecessary after the day's events. 

You were thinking while you shuffled into the bathroom and ran the tap cool. Splashing your face, the water dripped down your chin and you stared at it for a moment, running down the drain. 

Thinking. 

Thinking of a moment from your last meeting. Lem was right, it was stifling hot in those rooms, and sweat had run tracks down your spine and ribs. The salt sting of it on the still healing scratches you bore from your late night beach escapade actually helped distract from the announcement Atreus made as he went over the timeline for the upcoming week. Brought back more pleasant if not equally violent memories. 

“We have only a few days until Representative Gahl will make the announcement he is running for re-election,” he said in that cloying voice, sweet in the way that rot is sweet, no longer pretending to be anything other than what he was. “I expect you all to put in whatever hours necessary leading up to the event.”

He paused as if for dramatic effect. It would have been a physical struggle to not roll your eyes at the display if not for his long, pale finger—hooked like a scythe—pointing at one of the dates projected before you. 

The day you’d die. 

“You will do whatever is necessary to ensure our success.”

His eyes had a strange, thousand parsec stare to them as he said it, making the wrinkles of his face seem harder. As if he were saying it more to himself than to anyone else. You pretended not to notice that his eyes flicked to you as the words dissipated through the crowd. If you’d dared to stare back, you thought maybe you’d catch a glimpse of it again, that dark drop of panic in his stark gaze. 

You shivered despite the heat.

And now, you slid to the familiar cool tile floor, relishing the grounding chill. 

It was interesting. 

You hadn’t thought it would be, the whole ‘countdown to your own demise’ conundrum. But it was. The calmness that it brought, really, that was what surprised you. For all intents and purposes, you’d spent so much of your time with the underlying assumption that at any moment hell could descend upon your stationed star destroyer and you’d be cast out into the ether to return from whence you came. You guessed that experience was universal when it came to your fellow members of the Order. Everyone was always operating under the constant assumption, just under the surface, that each day may be their last and they would have spent it bitching about the cafeteria slop or cursing the seemingly nonexistent water heating capabilities of Starkiller Base. 

You’d never quite been able to make peace with that the way all the other officers seemed to. It wasn’t just a pulse under the surface for you—a sensation that faded into the background. It itched and burned just under your skin. 

But not now, and that was the interesting bit. No, now that you were staring down the metaphorical and potentially literal blaster barrel, you breathed easier than you had since arriving on this godforsaken planet. 

Because you could walk into it, you thought, burying your dripping face into one of the disgustingly fluffy white hand towels. Because you could walk in and sit at the table and know more than your opponent. 

Because Atreus had made a fatal mistake. Actually quite a few in succession, but they all came from the same source. He had fallen victim to the most simple of follies one could in the world of negotiations. He had underestimated his opponent and in doing so, had let you see something you certainly weren’t meant to. 

Atreus was afraid . Which had to mean not everything had kept to his plan. You weren’t entirely sure what it was, but you did know how to find out. 

You still had the upper hand. 

And you needed to keep it. 

To ensure success.  

You couldn’t avoid or pretend any longer. If you were going to come out on top, you needed to face some fears of your own. 

“Alright,” you said softly, to no one in particular. You’d been thinking during every dull meeting and script revisal of this moment. What you’d say, where you’d position yourself in the room, the set of your jaw and the exact tilt of your head. 

But now that the moment had arrived, it fizzled around you like a pair of lungs trapped under the surface of the water, all out of air. This was not a negotiation of sides, there were no rules with this that you knew. And the party on the other end of the table, so to speak, would not care if you cut a threatening image, held firm in your tone and gave away nothing. 

He would come regardless. 

And so you sat, huddled on the bathroom floor and stared at the arching door frame, taking in the carved white molding. And you closed your eyes. 

Kylo?   you spoke into the dim sunset shine of the dying day. We need to talk.  

The words echoed around in your skull, as though you were shouting down a tunnel, hearing them reverberate off the walls of this strange cavern inside your mind. And you felt, at the other end, a hum. An acknowledgement that rang back in answer from the other end. There was a feeling too, like fingers sifting through the phrase you’d tossed into the cave and finding among it what exactly you wished to talk about. 

Understanding without any explanation. 

And then something unreadable—the only word you could think of to describe the tone of the sigh that drifted in answer through the dark walls of your head. The same inaccessibility as the look that often adorned his face. The twitch just under his eye, the slight tightening of his jaw. 

No response ever came, but you could sense the approach of something, like a shadow blocking out the light at the end of the tunnel as it traveled nearer—heard the sound of boots on tile growing closer until they were no longer only inside your head, but just outside the door. 

You heard the sound of the knob slamming into the drywall as the door swung open with more force than was necessary. As though he’d been expecting something to block his path and was surprised to find, for once in his life, there was no resistance between the Commander and his goal. 

“In here,” you called, before the question ever left his lips. 

And then he stood before you, nearly taking up the entirety of the door frame and blocking your only route of escape. Though, this time, there was no sensation of walls closing in. No feeling of metal teeth biting into your leg. There was only the soft scent of ozone and shampoo and worn leather. 

Kylo’s face was bare.

His lips, full and bitten red, were slightly parted with each breath and he was dressed in more casual clothes than you’d ever seen before. There was a similar blooming of color on his cheeks as though he’d run when you called. Still always clocked in black, but this time is a loose pair of linen slacks and shirt that gaped just a bit at the neck. Your favorite mole stood out more starkly against the pink skin and his eyes were wide and dark as he stared. 

You knew then, with some supernatural certainty that this was exactly the expression he’d worn a few days before. When you’d come close to this moment with only the door stopping your palms from touching and were ripped away too quickly. 

You were glad you hadn’t seen him then. You didn’t know how you’d have survived it, when you didn’t know how long you’d have to feel him look at you that way. 

His brow furrowed almost imperceptibly at that, his fists clenching in that way he often did when you said things he particularly disliked. His eyes seemed to sit softer on his face, in a way you’d not noticed before. It looked strange on him. Not out of place or false as you had feared it might. 

Just out of practice. 

“What does it mean?” you asked, standing from the floor on creaking knees and taking a few steps closer. “I need you to tell me this time, no games.” 

Kylo blinked and the look was gone, replaced with the familiar, blank look of displeasure. But you could tell, somehow, that he knew what you were talking about. That word, bond drifted softly in the space between you like dust in the setting starlight. 

“So you do make a habit of it,” he huffed in response, retreating from the doorway and coming to rest on the edge of the bed, hands running through waves of hair until the frizz of it sat around his head like a halo. 

A dark king with his crown. 

A man, bowing under its weight. 

“What?” 

You frowned and followed him out of the bathroom, crossing your arms over your chest as you switched positions. Standing over him now as he glared. It was truly unfortunate how good he looked like that, staring up at you, dark lashes brushing his cheekbones when he blinked. 

“Asking stupid questions.”

You bit your lip to keep your jaw from dropping and took a breath. 

“I need to hear you say it,” you finally sighed, and prayed that he’d just play along for once. Just this once if nothing else. “This is important, please, sir.” 

You could see the gears turning in his head, crooked teeth peaking out to bite unconsciously at his bottom lip, before he spoke again. 

“It’s exactly as it seems,” he began in the same smooth, instructional tone he’d used before and shot you a threatening glance as though he felt your impulse to comment on his choice of words. “It’s a bond of two individuals, sometimes more, through the Force.” 

“I’m getting the sense that it’s not actually that simple,” you prodded and were awarded a sharp, disembodied pinch to the swell of your thigh in retaliation. 

Kylo elaborated while you licked your wound. 

“It isn’t.”

When you met his gaze again you got the distinct impression the Commander would rather swallow his own tongue than continue saying any of this out loud. 

I haven’t been saying anything out loud, came the response with a quirk of his brow. Neither have you. 

There was a pause, then a muttered:

Idiot. 

You blinked slowly. Feeling the way your lips had dried and stuck together with disuse and realized that Kylo’s as well, were still caught sorely between his front teeth. Never moving. 

Hold out your hand , Kylo ‘spoke’ again and now that he’d pointed it out you weren’t sure exactly how you’d missed it. When exactly his voice had stopped feeling out of place in your head. 

You compiled without resistance, reaching a hand out towards him as he sat up straighter on the mattress. 

He lifted his own to his lips and you traced the movement with your eyes, feeling your breath go heavy in your chest as he took one finger of his glove between his teeth and jerked his chin until his palm was bare and reaching out for you, leather still caught in his mouth. 

Your tongue was dry and tacky as you watched his fingertips slowly brush against yours. And it wasn’t quite a jolt that ran through you but the sensation was certainly strange and not that of simple skin against yours. 

Or it was, but doubled somehow. 

It grew stronger—the duality of the touch—as you closed your eyes and felt only with your hand the way he ran his fingers slowly over your palm. 

Do you feel it?  

The question came drifting into your mind as though you’d thought it yourself. Kylo’s fingers continued their soft mapping out of your palm, almost as mindlessly as he’d chewed the rough skin on his lips, while you contemplated the question. 

If you focused, closed your eyes and tried to block out the room—imagine as though you were floating in empty space—it wasn’t just the odd sensation of touching and being touched doubled over again, but the feeling of something deeper, something shared and pulsing in your chest. 

Yes, you answered and you felt a rush of warmth that followed. 

And you realized that it wasn’t from you, but his pleasure at your response that flowed through this living thing that connected your chests. 

There, he squeezed your hand lightly, that’s what it is.  

Kylo sounded pleasantly surprised, like a teacher finally having a breakthrough with a particularly challenging student. You felt his amusement as he agreed with your observation. 

It’s your own fault. You don’t usually catch on quite so fast . 

You pulled your hand away and opened your eyes again, but the pulse remained. Like a second heartbeat only a moment after your own. 

“You still haven’t answered my question,” you murmured, crossing your arms again and staring down at the empty space between the Commander's legs. It would be so easy to take a step into his reach. Maybe that was part of it too, how he seemed to be magnetized to you. 

Kylo Ren was silent, eyes open but not meeting your gaze and in the quiet of the room, you heard his answer clearly in the silence that followed. 

He didn’t know. 

Probably no one—in the grand scheme of things—had one, singular answer for a question so large. But you had at least an idea about the why . You took two, slow steps to the bedside table and pulled open the little drawer, feeling the familiar cool black cover you'd hidden there. Kylo watched in confusion as you turned the notebook over in your hands, glancing at him cautiously, trying to gauge any sort of reaction. 

But he remained as unreadable as always. 

“What is this?” he asked, aloud again and you shivered as the depth of it filled the room. 

“His plan, Atreus’,” you whispered, almost as if you might summon the man himself if you spoke too loudly. “All of it.” 

Brown eyes widened and flicked from you to the book and back again. In the swiftly dying light you could just make out the way his pupils widened, black eating away at the iris. You watched as he flipped from page to page, devouring the words there in seconds as you took careful steps forward as if dragged closer by his gravity. As he neared the end, you stopped when both his thighs bracketed yours. 

“How did you get this?” he asked and you faltered, frowning as you thought of how you could possibly explain the circumstances that led to the book coming into your possession. 

Kylo’s expression could have turned a lesser man to stone as he rolled his eyes and spat out an exasperated, “Show me.” 

You bit your tongue, thankful at the very least he hadn’t made another comment about you being a little slow on the uptake, and tried to replay the events in your mind. It flashed like film reel. Detached scenes of Lem's face, polished shoes clacking on the floor, wooden panels of the desk biting into your back and the leather warm in your hand. 

“You were projecting?” Kylo asked in a tone which led you to believe that this might have been a bigger deal that you’d initially assumed. 

“I suppose, but I’m really more concerned with the veritable psychopath who’s Force-glued our brains together to further his political coup,” you snipped, pulling the book from his hands and tossing it with a satisfying thump back down on the table. 

Very suddenly you were no longer looking down, but craning your head back as the Commander stood, his bare hand coming down to rest against your throat, fingers digging ever so slightly into your skin. 

“Listen to me for once in your life, officer,” Kylo Ren hissed through his teeth. “You cannot even begin to comprehend the gravity of the situation. This isn’t some political ploy, empires have fallen, whole worlds destroyed by bonds through the Force. This is light years beyond some spineless idiot trying to usurp my place.”

His grip on your throat grew tighter with each word, and you felt them reverberate like an echo in your head and as he spoke you felt something twist and roll and burn in your gut, licking flames up the back of your throat and in those eyes almost completely black, you saw reflected back at you a pit, dark as pitch. 

Air wouldn't come now, the blood flow restricted to your brain as Kylo’s hand that nearly spanned your entire throat dug into the skin. You slipped a hand up around his wrist, not bothering to pull, knowing a fruitless fight when you saw one. Just holding as you spoke to him desperately. 

So tell me, your words echoed through in the buzzing static in your head. Make me understand. 

The grip on your throat loosed by a small degree and your vision began to return. The vein on his forehead was pulsing, his teeth bared, those eyes on you. 

Whatever you know, you need to tell me, you weren’t above pleading. You tried to send across the pathway that connected your minds that night on the beach, how it had felt to tear at each other, how you both still bore the marks, how he’d said then too ‘you have no idea what’s at stake.’ 

No more secrets, Kylo. 

“No,” he sighed, hands slipping from your throat to trace the line of a particularly deep scratch down the length of your shoulder blade. “There won’t ever be at the end of this.”

His voice was quiet, breathy as you felt echoing back to you your own voice, the spoken and felt words ‘I want you’ as the ocean waves crashed against the shore. You felt a conflict not your own, a growing dread in the pit of your being. 

“You promised me,” you said, aloud now, voice hoarse as you looked up to meet his gaze, breathe his air, taste the blood and mint on his tongue. “You promised I wouldn’t die.” 

His acknowledgement rang out, determined and sure in your veins. His hands that had ghosted their way down your back, settled at your waist, squeezed at the flesh that gave easily under his grasp. 

“I need to know what we’re up against,” you murmured into the quickly dissipating space between your chests. Watching as the black fabric of his shirt shifted with every breath. “Don’t make a liar of yourself, Commander.” 

He didn’t speak but you could feel the intent, almost hear the I can’t tell you, in his hands sliding up the hem of your top, in his breath ghosting over your throat. 

“Then show me.” 

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic

[aurora-starwars]

Can you do one of the reader being with Kylo and she wanted him to react to the MrBallen podcast of the Bells Canyon story and so he does and she gets to see his reaction to it in the end?

Fear Is The Path To The Dark Side, Unless You're Already There

Pairing: Kylo Ren x fem!reader

Summary: Kylo Ren and reader listen to a scary story that reader loves

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: scary stories?

A/n: So sorry for being so late! 😭😭😭😭Anyway, thank you for requesting, this was definitely my most unique one yet. I have never heard of his podcast before and they raddled me as I listened to it in the dark of night. Please ignore if I got any of the story wrong. Regardless, I hope you like it! Enjoy! <33333

Masterlist

“Have you heard of the Ball’s Canyon audio file?”

This question would have been weird to most, but to Kylo Ren, bizarre questions like that came often. Always from the mouth of the girl he wished would never leave his side, even if sticking with her meant he often had strange questions thrown at him.

“No,” Kylo Ren started. “I have not heard that story. Why do you ask.”

His words were as monotone as he could get them while in [Name]’s presence. No matter where they were, [Name]’s voice was always a breath of fresh air, one that lifts his spirits.

“Well, I was hoping that you would listen to it with me.” [Name] smiled, the mischief in her eyes masked by faux innocence.

Kylo Ren knew better; it wasn’t often that her questions had innocent intentions. This could only leave him to wonder, what exactly was [Name] showing him. After a mumble of agreement from Kylo, [Name]’s face lit up for a beat before she regained her composure. Hurriedly, [Name] ran around the room looking for the nearest holopad. Once she found it, she made her back to where Kylo was sitting, grinning wickedly to herself, hoping that Kylo couldn’t see. He could.

“What am I listening to?” Kylo asked, watching [Name] set up the audio file.

“You’ll see.”

The file opened to a man wearing a cape with his hood over his face. Kylo glanced over at [Name] as if she would answer his questions, only to find the eager girl entranced by the man speaking. The man before them began the story, setting the scene in the depths of a dense forest far from any civilization, with one man going on a camping trip. The man was supposedly well trained, and had many skills in surviving in the wilderness. Kylo almost scuffed at that, he knew how to manage on his own.

[Name], as if hearing his thoughts, throw a glare at him demanding he keep listening.

At this point, the man, Matt, had gone out about a day travel into the forest and had set up camp for the night. After falling asleep swiftly, Matt was woken again in the middle of the night to rustling in the bushes. Thinking it was animals, like he has experienced time and time again, he unzipped his tent a smidge, but only enough to peek through. Only as he looked around, he found a man squat with his hands on his knees before his fire pit shuffling around. All of a sudden the strange man made eye contact with Matt through the small gap in the tent, eyes widening before running back into the woods. Running out of his tent, Matt used his flashlight to see if he could see the man or any evidence of his camp site. After all, it was not uncommon for others to camp, it was just wild to see another man in the wild like this, so far from anything, practically in the middle of nowhere. When he didn’t find any evidence of the man or his campsite, he headed back to his campsite, where he slept restlessly.

“Wait, who was that man?” Kylo grumbled shortly, only difference on his face from the beginning was a small crease between his eyebrows.

Making eye contact with Kylo, [Name] grinned once again before resuming her attention on the speaker in front of her. Kylo was left to roll his eyes half-heartedly, not understanding the point of the story so far.

Waking the next morning Matt in the story packed his gear and set out further into the forest, hoping to leave the strange man behind. After a two day’s hike, he set up camp again and began a fire. Cooking food, Matt heard more rustling of bushes behind him. Writing it off as animals, he continued his cooking on the fire. When he heard more rustling from behind him, he could not ignore it any longer. There was something behind him moving.

He stood up, turned around, and stood still, listening carefully. He expected maybe a deer to come out of the woods, but instead he hears a man’s voice come out of the darkness that says, “Do you know how to get to Bell’s Canyon.” His hearts starts racing, and even though he can’t see him, he knows that this man is the same guy he saw two days ago.

Kylo moves to pause the holopad, looking at [Name] with an unfamiliar look. If [Name] didn’t know better, she would have thought that he was scared. But she knew better… Right?

“How could he be anyone else? That man surely followed him on his hike.” Kylo pointed out, his knee bouncing up and down beside [Name].

“Maybe, we will only know if we continue,” [Name] smirked, having already known the entirety of the story.

Kylo Ren only shook his head.

“I wish they would tell me who he is…” He grumbled.

“Can we keep listening?” [Name] deadpanned, tilting her head to the side.

“Hold on,” His hand searched for [Name]’s and when he found the familiar soft digits of his lover, he grasped her hand, his hold firm.

“Alright,” Kylo took a deep breath in. “You may resume it.”

[Name] only smiled before pushing a small button on the pad. Soon enough the man in front of them was speaking again, waving his hands around animatedly.

Thinking to himself, “What does this guy want? I have spent the last two days hiking in random directions for 24 klicks, and he must have followed me.” Matt, not knowing what else to do, tells the man that he doesn’t know where Bells Canyon is. Then there is silence, Matt hopes that the man does not come in the light and just goes away. And another part is hoping that this is a different person, and maybe he just got lost and is looking for a place called Bells Canyon. The voice rings again, asking the same question with more force, “Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?”

Kylo’s grip on [Name]’s hand tightens, his breathing speeding up as [Name] can only imagine his heart is too. Leaning closer to Kylo, [Name] attempts to comfort the man with her presence. Giving Kylo’s hand a quick squeeze as to say, “I am right here.” Kylo smiles at [Name], his breaths evening out but his grip on [Name] doesn’t falter.

Matt knew that there was something wrong, this was not some hiker that got lost and now he has to do something to take control of the situation. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed his flashlight and in one motion shined the light in the direction of the voice. He found the guy from two days ago peeking out from behind a tree looking right in Matt’s direction; he was hiding from him. When the light hit him, the man barked at Matt to the shine the light away from him. Matt lowered his light without hesitation. Matt now knows that it is the same guy who has been following him for two days. For several minutes, the two stood still making no sound.

Until this guy broke the silence again, he had somehow moved soundlessly closer to Matt, and he asked him the same question again, “Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?” The voice was so close that Matt, afraid, raised his flashlight at the man, who was standing only a few feet away from him. The strange guy got scared just like the first night, and ran off again into the woods. Matt, not knowing better, ran after him. But once he was far enough out that he was worried he would get lost, there was no sight of the man he was once chasing. Matt wasn’t sure how he got away but he made it back to the campsite. He began thinking to himself of what he was going to do. He didn’t tell anyone where he is, was at least three days away from his ship and he didn’t have any holopad or comms to communicate with anyone while he is in the complete middle of nowhere.

Kylo ran his spare hand through his hair, and huffed, his body more tense than [Name]’s ever seen it.

So, Matt just stood in the middle of the campsite with his knife in hand for hours, expecting that the man would come back or speak to him from somewhere in the darkness. It was absolutely horrifying. Finally, at about 3 in the morning, he was so tired that he just had to go to bed.

After a restless couple of hours, he jumped up when the sun came out and packed up all of his stuff and began practically running back to his ship. When the sun started to go down again, he knew that he would have to set up camp again. After setting it up, he was so tired from running all day and mentally exhausted from the experience that he got in his tent and fell asleep almost instantly.

But several hours later her woke up to the sounds of somebody walking around his tent. And he knew it had to be this guy that was following him. Sitting up and clutching his knife, he sat for hours and hours while this guy just walked around his campsite. Around 4 or 5 in the morning, the man ran off again. When the sun finally came up, he jumped up to pack up his stuff and literally sprinted in the direction of his ship, hoping that he would not have to make camp another time before he made it back. And as the sun was setting, he knew he was not going to make it to his ship before the sun went down, it was just too far away. So when it became too dark to move, he set up his tent again and climbed inside with his knife in hand. Sitting in his tent with his knife, he waited, knowing that this guy was somewhere out there. But after a few hours of not hearing anything, Matt started to wonder if the guy was actually out there. Maybe he was not following Matt anymore. So he lied down, hoping to get some sleep when a voice came from somewhere out in the woods, “Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?”

Kylo removed his hand from [Name]’s in order to pull her in beside him. Holding her close with one arm and the other hand was free to hold [Name]’s. [Name] could only smirk to herself, maybe the famous dark and brooding Kylo Ren was scared.

Matt immediately sat up, his heart beating so fast that he thought he was going to have a heart-attack. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he just sat there holding his knife. The guy started running past his campsite making animal sounds, stopping periodically to moan and grunt, kicking up leaves and then would run past his campsite again. Over and over again, until the sun finally came up and he ran off into the forest again. Matt waste no time, running back to his ship. Where when he knew he was safe, he cried tears of actually joy, before leaving the planet for good.

The man finished, beginning to thank people for listening when [Name] turned the holo off.

“So, what did you think?”

Kylo sat still for a moment, staring blankly at the bright walls around him. He thanked the force for the light being so bright in this room. After a moment, Kylo came back to his senses, reminding himself that [Name] was still curled into his side. Kylo regained his composure and cleared his throat.

“Well, that was definitely something.” Kylo spoke avoiding eye contact with [Name].

[Name] noticed a waiver in his voice which only made her smile.

“Not scared, are you?” [Name] smirked, she was trying to get under his skin.

Kylo tried and failed to clear his throat once again, “No. How could I, Kylo Ren, be scared? And of a story about the forest? Absolutely not.”

His usual monotone voice struggled to stay even, only causing [Name]’s grin to widen.

“Whatever you say, my love.”

Kylo might not be able to see it, but [Name] knew that that story had shaken him. He might not want to sleep alone that night.

Sure enough, Kylo began complaining in the middle of the night about how [Name] was too far away and that he ‘couldn’t protect her from random men’ from the foot she was away from him.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! Again, to @inner-sparkle-inner-writings, I am so sorry for it being out so late. And I hope this lived up to your expectations, or was at least close to what you wanted! <3333333

Master-list

All creds of the story go to the MrBallen Podcast. That is where I got the scary story from. Episode #37--"Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon?"

#aurora-starwars #star wars #star wars x reader #x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x fem!reader #ben solo x reader #ben solo #ben solo x y/n #ben solo smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo #kylo x y/n #kylo ren fic #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren fanfiction #ben solo x you #rey of jakku #reylo #x fem!reader #star wars fanfic #star wars characters #starwars #star wars sequals #star wars the force awakens #sw x reader #sw tfa

[maybe-your-left]

need kylo to protect me from spiders this halloween 👉👈

enjoy this small blurb from Boyfriend! Kylo Ren coming in hot to K.O. any spider in your way!

"Kylo."

"Kylo!"

"KYLO PLEASE"

"What?!"

You snuggled into the couch harder, staring at the ceiling with quickening breaths. Unable to make any other noise than mumble his name a few more times before footsteps came from the opposite end of the house.

Kylo stood in front of you, hands on his hips, waiting. He raised a frantic hand, "Well? What is it?"

You pointed a lame finger towards the ceiling, shivering back further into your blanket fort.

He rolled his eyes, "Can you use your words," Kylo turned towards the direction indicated, squinting. "Can't fucking see what's wrong? I left my glasses in the office."

"You don't see that?" your voice panicked.

He turned again, raising his brows, "See what? I was about to win my game and you just yelled my name! Just tell me what's wrong."

The black spot on the ceiling moved while you stared at it intently. Jumping in your blankets, tucking your legs under yourself in defense while Kylo eyed you strangely. He approached, planting a knee into the edge of the couch and placing a palm on your pile.

"Baby," he licked his lips, "Can you please tell me what's wrong so I can go back to my computer?"

You lowered your voice, looking back at the ceiling and then down into his eyes. Laced with concern over his precious game, and not you and your peril.

"There's a spider on the ceiling..."

________

:) daddy just has to reach on his tip toes to get the bad spider.

#kylo ren #ben solo #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #adam driver #adamdriver

[starwarsfan2004]

She's my little flower Chapter 7 || (Kylo ren x Female reader)

(Hey everyone its ori here enjoy chapter 7 of this fic, the other star wars fic is currently a w.i.p so be patient also there will be more chapters comeing along the way!)

Warning!

(There will be kissing, neck nibble and kisses, comfort and reassurance and many more but in general nothing horrible!)

Sound asleep..

Still and warm you were underneath his blankets, you tossed and turn due to a horrible nightmare..

It was vile..

Horrible even but kylo felt your unease of your nightmare, he woke up with a sleepy face as he held you in his strong arms wich made you calm down by alot, you were still a bit hesitant and scared but with kylo holding you close to him you felt a warm feeling of relief and reassurance wash over you. That's how he knew you were at ease by his embrace it made him very happy to see you safe in his embrace, he would kill anyone if they ever so dare lay a finger on your soft skin he wants nothing more than just haveing you in his arms and under his wing, he looks over to the window it was almost sunrise outside the frost and snow as he looks over to you.. all snuggled up and fast asleep on his chest he felt his cheeks flush red for he cant help to look at you on how pretty, no but rather breathtakingly beautiful you are even if you were asleep but even your usual look would get him even more flustered with butterflies added to the mix of his emotions.

He knew he had to get up soon but he didnt want to disturb you not but one bit, he soon rested his large hand on your head as he gently start to give you long and gentle strokes, he eventually saw a smile crept onto your face as you soon look up at him with a sleepy face alongside a warm smile wich already made his day "Good morning" you said as you yawn and stretch with a sleepy tone ontop of his chest, you were so much thinner and build less for muscle that his frame could swallow your frame whole not to mention that he is infact much stronger than you with strength and muscle, not long after he chuckles at you as he landed a small kiss on your forehead this made your cheeks lit up but he knew you were still asleep so without warning he purrs gently into your neck whiles giving you kisses, this made you giggle as you try to squirm away from him but he didnt allow it instead he kept you in his strong arms aswell wrapping his legs to stop you from standing up you giggled out of his actions. Your expression on your soft face was much more lively as for both of you were now sitting up straight, well you were sitting on his lap as you looked up at him he smiled warmly as he planted multiple kisses on your cheeks and forehead "Morning beautiful" he said in a raspy voice wich made you chuckle at him, "How was rest hmm?" you asked him as he rested his hands on your waist and your arms rested on both of his shoulders "It was wonderful well with you ofcourse" he said happily "But you were tossing around dureing your sleep, what was it about?" He asked the curiosity getting the better of him, you looked down "Well.." before you continued he lifted up your chin to meet with his gaze he didnt said anything all he wanted was for you to look at him when you spoke it's a force of habit for people to look up at him whiles speaking "Talk to me.. what can I do insure that your comfortable my sweet?" He said with a raspy monotone, you felt your cheeks flush in his dimmed lit room as you continued on "Well its more of past events I sustained before I worked here on the ship, it's a long story but I'll cut it short.. I had alot of issues with my family and friends back home, and all the things I did for them I didnt get any credit for helping though thick and thin.." without warning he pulled you into a hug, God you felt small..

You felt how your eyes started to burn from the tears, kylo knew that pain all too well you've been hiding this pain away from everyone but for him he sensed your scent of emotions.. you started to sob softly as you melted into his hug as he hushed you with comfort and reassurance "Shh.. its alright my little flower.. they wont hurt you anymore.." he said patting your head gently as you looked up at him with tears strolling down your face, he smiled warmly at you as he uses both of his thumbs to brush away the tears "Thank you kylo.." he chuckles softly at you "I like to be called sweet names too you know but no need to worry love they wont touch you.." you smiled happily at him still feeling the heavy feeling of tears on your face but soon the sun rose from his window slightly lighting up his room, you got up while stretching a bit lord above kylo adored how you looked he was even obsessed with how you look, you looked over to kylo only to see him leaned backwards onto his bed with a small warm smile but actually he was screaming on the inside by your beauty "Arnt you going to get up love?" You said with a smile wich threw him a bit off guard "I will I normally lay here for a bit before takeing a shower but since your here... want to join me?" He said slyly as your face lit up red as he looks over to you begging to see your gaze, you didnt know how to respond to his offer instead you just gave him a small chuckle leaving him with no awnser "I need an awnser love you wont ignore me" he said as he got up holding you from behind wich made you shiver as he kissed your neck and shoulders "If you wont give me an awnser.." you turned over to him with smirk on your face "We'll see" is the only awnser you can give him "Oh stop being a tease, your going to be late and people will be dissapointed without your presence" you said with a small laugh "They can wait.." he said looking annoyed but you were right about this scenario.

"But yet.. I don't want to leave your presence during my absence" you cupped both sides of his cheeks as you smile warmly at him "I dont have any plans of going anywhere besides you are good at looking for people by the force is it not?" He smiles at you as he held both of your hands in his as he chuckles at your statement "True yet so precise, but promise you'll be here when I return my sweet?" He asked with pleading eyes "Ofcourse love, I promise" you said wich made him smile as he gently picked you up to meet with his level of hight as he kissed your soft and tender lips you soon melted into his kiss with your arms on his shoulders and your hands resting on his soft black hair, oh how he wished he could stay like this and forever with you he will insure to make that a reality.. He pulled away only to see your lush face wich drove him crazy on the inside, a feeling was bubbling inside of him and him having his thoughts run wild he was thinking of some "nasty" thoughts of you.. he liked it but it threw him off guard as you spoke wich made his gaze fall onto yours "Shall we get busy or are you not going to let me go hmmm?" You said jokingly with a smug on your face to see his reaction, he wrapped your legs around his waist as he pins you to the wall holding your upper half in his left arm and in the right your hands above your head you surely got a reaction out of his actions that's for sure.. "You can leave after I let everyone know that your mine alone.." he said but you still haveing a bit of fight left in you, you spoke up being a tease to him as he was about to lean into your neck giving you a bit of pleasure "Oh yea? How are you go-" without hesitation kylo sunk his teeth ruthlessly into your neck as he suck and bit harshly, this made you quite but only the sounds of a gasp and small moans left your lips "Dont act strong now.. submit.." he said softly whispering close to your ear wich made you shiver, you let him do his little attention spoiling spree as he gave both sides of your neck hickeys and bite marks eventually he finished resting his head just below your chin as he looks up at your head that was tilted back until you felt his right arm letting go of your hands, you felt his hand pulling your chin to meet his gaze once more "You've been a good little pet obeying my orders.. I wonder what else your hiding from your master.." he said darkly wihles teasing you playfully "But for now that will be enough, for now" he said as you rested your head on his shoulder panting lightly, this gave him clue of how you could easily run out of energy when being spoiled by his attention he soon chuckles at you as you slided down your feet softly touching the ground.

"G-gee you do l-like spoiling d-dont you?" You stammered as he held your hips with his large hands "Ofcourse my sweet, the attention is only met for you" he said as he pushed your shoulder back before kissing your forehead "Now.. get dressed and get busy with whatever you can fix or do and remember to meet me back to my quarters" he said lovingly leaving his hands off from your hips as he walked off to go take a shower, you sat on his bed with your legs feeling like jelly you have a good feeling that this type of "attention" doesn't stop there so you got dressed with your usual clothing, toolbelt, jacket, short blue Jean's and a black tank top as you grabbed your tools from his table and strapped them on your belt you didnt care about putting your boots on mainly because it would just slow you down. Without warning you left his quarters as you walked off to whatever task can be assigned to you and yet there were, for kylo he felt your presence close but not too close it made him a bit sad even as he gets dressed in his usual black armour clothing as he went marching outside of his quarters makeing twist and turns to check in with the higher commanders before his departure to a planet for further meetings of supplies and weaponry.

#star wars #star wars x reader #kylo ren x female reader #star wars x you #kylo ren #star wars fic #star wars fanfiction

[enviedear]

i've been going solo now ⟶ ben solo

description ⌙ when you get a distress signal from your dad and his life-long goon you're quick to try and come to their rescue. only problem? so is ben solo.

pairing ⌙ smuggler!ben solo x f!reader

warnings ⌙ childhood crush/frenemies turned adults with horrible communication skills, reader is the daughter of lando (biologically or not you decide), ben is a jerk, reader is a brat, petty arguments, forced proximity trope, inner conflict all the time, han and lando are just two pals getting into serious issues that their kids have to fix don't mind them (they're just mentioned), most likely incorrect knowledge of the falcon & starship parts, smuggler!ben solo au because that's canon to me, ben calls reader kid (affectionate, kinda), typos probabaly

word count ⌙ 4.1k

— request | masterlist

i just think ben solo is very much solo by future coded and i wanted to write about smuggler!ben and his smug attitude. special thanks to @crucifiedfaerie for letting me gush over this idea constantly in our dms <3

you never had the stomach for killing— the thought of it or the act itself. the notion of ending someone's life has always been abhorrent to you, leaving a sour sensation in your mouth that lingers long after the deed is done. but right now, you sit, filled with a growing and seemingly unstoppable rage that practically demands blood.

"don't even think about jumping into hyperspace, solo!" your voice is loud but erratic.

the black-haired man piloting the ship gives you a side eye, "and waste hours getting there? sure thing, kid."

you grip the co-pilot seat as hard as possible as he sends the absolutely geriatric ship into lightspeed. the force of it sends your head back onto the headrest, and you screw your eyes shut until the motion of the ship stills.

you've been flying with ben solo on the millennium falcon for a day and a half now, and this isn't even the first time you've wanted to kill him.

no, you'd harbored a hatred for ben solo for as long as you could remember. when you were little your father frequently left you in the care of the organa-solo's. any trip too risky for you to follow him on had you spending time on chandrila han and leia— and ben.

he was a few years older than you and so insufferable - spoiled rotten and full of mischief. the two of you would inevitably end up in scuffles over something, whether it be who got to shower first or which holovid show to watch. you often wondered how your father, han, or leia had managed to handle both of you. a hardheaded pair of troublemakers that needed little excuse to start bickering with one another.

but beneath it all, there had been another layer to your complex relationship with ben solo. even though you feigned anger whenever near him, deep down there had been an admiration growing since those early days spent together. your naive heart fluttered when he would absentmindedly flash his ever-present smirk in your direction. but you'd never admit or act upon any such feelings.

naviagting your crush had been difficult at first. especially having lando calrissian as a parent. you were forced to spend weeks around the source of your teen angst because of your father.

what use is a dad that can sweet-talk a jablogian if he can't fix your unwanted crush on his best friend's son.

you've cursed at his image in your mind every time you look at your ridiculous companion. if not for him, you wouldn't be with ben right now— you'd have never had the displeasure of his company.

you got away from the young solo, and most everyone else, for a good five years, hopping from planet to planet, picking up any honest work. which usually meant boring work— factory jobs, service stuff, a few instances of babysitting.

your life without ben solo is predictable and a little boring.

but you'd rather be bored than deal with the recklessness that becomes your life every time you see the smuggler.

but here you sit beside him, forced to spend an unknown amount of days with him until the both of you find your idiotic fathers.

you had gotten a rouge comm-link message from your dad just days ago. he sounded fine, voice still leisurely and warm, but it was his words that were worrisome, "han's got us in a bit of trouble, little star. would you mind coming to help your old man out? we're somewhere in the trilon sector— i'd try batuu first!"

when you got the message, your mind had gone into autopilot. you had rushed to comm leia, which had been a fatal mistake, as she had ordered her son to pick you up and accompany you. so now you're here, stuck with ben solo and his frightening flying.

"you know, dad should have warned me i'd be flying with a coward." ben's lips are curved into a grin, as usual with his teasing.

you whip your head in his direction, eyes ablaze, "well my father should have warned me that you've gotten even more annoying, somehow."

ben narrows his eyes, a stupid smirk still plastered to his face, "whatever you say, kid."

you feel your blood go hot, why he decided to start calling you kid, you didn't know, but you do know you hate it.

ben's barely your senior, only twenty-three years of age in comparison to your twenty. besides he behaves like an out-of-hand teen away.

"stop calling me that." you groan.

ben chuckles, "aw, what's the matter, kid? tired of following orders already?"

you grit your teeth, the way he talks down to you will forever get under your skin, "i don't take orders from you, solo."

"sure you do. you're on my ship, remember?" ben retorts, his eyes focused on the coordinates displayed to his left.

you cross your arms over your chest, "we're supposed to be working together to find han and my father and get them out of trouble, not bickering like children."

ben rolls his eyes, "it's not my fault you're so uptight."

you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you can't afford to lose your temper and start a fight, not when you're relying on him to get you to your destination safely. so, you force a smile, "look, can we just be civil? we're both here because we care about our dads and want to help them."

ben's expression softens a little, "fine. but if you start nagging at me again, i can't promise i won't call you kid."

you roll your eyes, "deal. now, can you tell me more about what's going on? my dad was pretty vague in his message."

ben hums, "same with mine. all i know is that lando got mixed up in some kind of shady deal, and now he's in trouble with a gang of criminals called the ninth sun. my mom's been trying to negotiate with them, but they're not ones to bend the knee."

you groan, "of course not. what's the plan?"

he shakes a stray black strand of hair from his eye, "no plan, just find them and go from there."

"lovely, that's totally going to work," you bite your lip, "oh and, it was han who made the sketch deal, not my dad."

ben shrugs, "and who told you that?" he rests his elbow on the armrest and brings his hand to his chin, "lando?"

you clench your fists, "let's just focus on finding them. no need to dwell on the semantics."

ben glances at you and for a moment, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes. something other than his usual teasing, mischievous demeanor, but it's gone as quickly as it came and he turns back to the console.

the ship hums steadily beneath you, and the silence between you two stretches on, broken only by the occasional beep from the controls. you fidget in your seat, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar hush. you've never been around ben so long without saying anything, and you're about to speak up before he interrupts you.

"we'll have to make a pit stop, i need to refuel." his voice sounds tired.

you nod, "alright. any nearby planets we can stop at?"

ben checks the navicomputer, "yeah, there's one a couple of light years away. i've been there before, it's not too bad."

"okay solo, lead the way." you say, leaning back in your seat.

as he pilots the ship toward the destination, you can't help but study him from the corner of your eye. he's changed since the last time you saw him. the boy who used to pull your hair and steal your toys has grown into a man. he's lean and toned with longer hair, still as sable black as ever. it falls into his eyes, despite how much he wills it not to, giving him a slightly disheveled look that you can't help but find attractive.

you rue the thoughts plaguing your own mind.

the embarrassment you used to feel over your crush has come back ten-fold. the feeling shocks you. he's trying to act all suave and mature, but you know deep down that he's still the same old ben who annoyed the life out of you. you can feel the familiar tug in your heart every time he speaks, and you know he can't have changed much over the years. not when he's making you feel just like you're fourteen again.

but there is something different about him now. maybe it's the way he pilots the ship with ease– no longer the boy who'd cover his ears ar take off, or maybe it's just the way his muscles flex under his tight-fitting shirt. he's almost mesmerizing.

it's clear that he's been doing this for a long time, navigating the stars all alone with nothing but his shitty attitude and perfect hair. you find yourself marveling over him, sure and smooth, his hands deftly moving over the controls.

ever the realist, you try to shake off the feeling, but it's proving difficult. you feel a strange urge to preserve your current addiction.

as you watch him fly, you feel a fixation building within you. it's a sentiment you haven't felt in years, not felt since the last time you saw him.

you try to push the feeling down, knowing that it's not the time to have those kinds of thoughts. you're supposed to be focused on finding your fathers and not getting killed by some lethal syndicate, not lusting after your childhood nemesis.

you feel wrong stealing glances at him, trying to understand what's changed and why you're feeling this way. you're towing a dangerous, line. especially if those feelings are inspired by ben organa-solo.

finally, after what feels like hours, you arrive at the refueling station. as soon as ben lands the ship, you stretch your legs inside the falcon, looking out at the new scenery. the planet is bathed in the evening light, and the scene around you is wide awake. the station itself is a bustling hub of activity, with all kinds of alien species milling about.

ben leads the way to the fueling station, where he begins filling up the ship's tanks. you stand by the ship's entrance, people-watching. your eyes find ben's figure again, and you let them stall. when he looks your way, you advert your gaze and step out of the falcon, swiftly approaching him.

the evening air is cool as it hits your skin. this planet is a strange one, with vibrant purple plants and thick, white fog swirling around. but you don't pay too much attention to it, your eyes are locked on ben.

he's leaning against the ship, checking over the fuel meter with a frown on his face. you walk over to him and clear your throat, expecting to get his attention.

he looks up at you, eyes meeting your own. you feel your heart skip a beat, and you curse yourself for being soft for him.

"you know, you didn't have to follow me out here." he mumbles, hand coming to brush the hair from his eyes.

you hum, "i didn't have anything better to do."

he ignores you and looks back at the fuel gauge, his eyebrows furrow, "i found something for you to do." his voice is monotone, but you're all too familiar with the subtle cut of annoyance within.

"what does that mean?" you own voice comes out a bit too anxious.

ben groans before looking at you, "one of the damn tanks has a leak— i told chewie to fix that weeks ago." he follows up his words with a few curses before kicking the faulty gas tank.

you roll your eyes, "can't we just get another one? i'm sure if we go inside someone would know where we could get another one."

"the problem isn't finding one," he tsks at you, "the problem is that this tank has been leaking fuel into the beacon finder. without that, we're never finding our dear old dads."

your heart sinks. you had been so sure that you would find your dad quickly, but now it looks like that might not be the case. "so, what do you suggest we do?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

"i'll have to fix the beacon," he sighs, "luckily i have the tools for it, but i need to find one more part, and with the sun setting soon…" he trails off, letting his silence complete the sentence for him.

you take in a deep breath at his implication. you can tell what he is suggesting without explicitly stating it.

you will be stuck on this planet with him tonight and forced to share the same cramped room. you thank god for separate cots, at least.

you try to ignore the warmth creeping up your ears, but you know that it's a losing battle. you haven't shared a room with ben solo since you were kids, endless unwilling sleepovers at each other's houses. but those instances were filled with innocent pranks and arguments, not the tension and longing glances you've found yourself giving him.

"alright," you say, trying to keep your voice even, "we'll just get the part and fix the beacon. the faster we fix this, the faster we can find our fathers and get back to our lives." you move towards the entrance of the fueling station, wanting to put space between you and ben.

"you mean so you can get back to your life." he calls out to you, and you look back at him only to be met with contempt in his brown eyes, "the one where you avoid me."

you give him a sharp eye roll before making your way toward a small gaggle of vendors, much more interested in finding this part. ben follows closely behind you, and you can feel the weight of his stare on the back of your head.

you're at a loss as to why ben solo would ever care that you've been avoiding him for the last five years. the ben you remember would've never batted an eye. when did that change?

you find a vendor selling the part that ben needs, and you both split the payment before heading back to the falcon. ben sets to work on the beacon, and you sit nearby, supposedly looking over the coordinates but mostly watching him work.

there's an abnormal sense of calm that fills you as you watch him. concentration is etched on his face, lips bitten bright red. you can't help but admire him, not for the sake of not trying.

you're brought back to reality when he starts cursing under his breath, "what's wrong?" you ask, moving closer to him.

"this damn thing won't budge," he grunts, trying to pry apart two pieces of the beacon.

you move to his side, peering down at the device. his breath is hot on your cheek, and you feel an urge to shiver. trying to focus on the task at hand you take a few breaths.

your eyes keep drifting to his lips, the way they move when he curses. you shake your head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. "let me help," you offer, reaching for one of the tools he's using.

he hands it to you, and you lean in closer, your sides pressed together as you work the tool. you can feel his heat exuding into you, a warmth that isn't just from the planet's humid air. you try to focus, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. every time he moves, you catch a whiff of his scent, musky and rich, and your mind starts to wander to places it shouldn't.

finally, after what feels like an eternity, the piece pops free, and ben lets out a sigh of relief. he turns to you, a small smile on his face, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes lock onto yours, and suddenly, the air between you is charged with something foreign.

you let your tone come out sardonic, "looks like i saved the day. you're welcome, solo."

ben tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "you're a brat, kid."

"i thought i told you to stop calling me that." you want to hit him.

"i said i had a condition," he pauses, arms coming to either side of you, palms pressing into the falcon's floor, effectively trapping you against him, "a condition you just broke. so you're back to kid, kid."

you feel your resolve slipping, "you're the worst. you always have been, and i can see now that will never change."

he has the audacity to let out an amused breath, "if you're going to say shit like that, at least mean it."

your brows furrow, "pardon me? as if i don't mean that."

his hands creep from the ground and to your hips, you gasp as he pulls you in closer. if he were anyone else, you'd expect him to kiss you next, but he's not anyone else. so instead, he cranes down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "i know you want me," he growls, his fingers digging into your clothed flesh. "don't act like you don't,"

you're completely caught off guard, and before you can respond, he's pulling away from you and grabbing the beacon. you watch in silent horror as he makes for the falcon's exit, leaving you confused on the floor.

you sit there, rooted to the spot, your mind and body in turmoil. you know if you follow him you'd just be throwing yourself into a petty or embarrassing altercation.

what did he mean by that anyway? how could he possibly know?

taking a steadying breath, you turn away from your seat and make for the other side of the ship. you need to keep yourself busy until nighttime, and you know that there's some maintenance to do on one of the storage bays. when you get there, however, it's already been taken care of. your fists clench in frustration as you realize ben must have done it earlier.

you start searching around the ship for any other tasks that might help keep your mind off things and pass the time more quickly- checking cords, tidying up shelves or going through supplies lists so nothing gets low.

the hours seem to stretch on endlessly despite how much work you manage to do, and all too soon darkness begins to fill the sky outside of the cockpit windows. with a heavy sigh, you head back towards where you and ben had been working earlier. he's back now, tinkering away with the beacon as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you earlier— as if his words hadn't sent a tremble down your spine and confused the emotions tumbling through your mind.

you catch an expectant glance from him when he finally notices your presence. you're sure he's expecting you to say something to him. maybe he wants you to yell.

you don't say anything though, instead offering only a terse nod before checking the endless cords around you.

your fingers move quickly and expertly over the tangled cords, your mind too preoccupied to focus on anything else. but you can feel his gaze on you, burning through the back of your skull like a branding iron. his presence is suffocating and you know that if you don't get a handle on your emotions soon, you'll combust.

eventually, you're so lost in thought that you almost miss the soft footfalls approaching you. you turn to see ben standing beside you, his eyes locked onto yours. the air between you is thick with strain, unspoken words, and feelings. there are so many things you want to say to him, but you don't know where to begin.

"so," his voice breaks through the silence like a blaster shot. "when are we going to talk about it?"

you hear the depth in his baritone voice and it's all you can do to keep your face neutral, your thoughts collected, "talk about what?" you ask, even though you know perfectly well what he's referring to.

"about me and you," he says, voice low but insistent, "or we can just keep ignoring it. the tension seems to be getting us pretty far."

your expression shifts as you take in his words, the longing that had been coiled in so tightly before now coming to the surface. you can feel yourself flustering under the intensity of his watch but you refuse to look away, instead lifting your chin higher and narrowing your eyes.

"there is no us, solo," you say firmly, though your voice is riddled with a hint of something else entirely, "there never has been, and never will be."

ben seems unfazed by your words, his eyes steady and intense. "you say that," he says, his voice softening. "but i know you better than anyone else. and i know there's some part of you that actually likes me. i bet it pisses you off, doesn't it?"

he's right— it does piss you off that your heart can't seem to let him go. no matter how annoying you find him, he's beautiful and confident. and he does know you better than anyone. he knows what buttons to press and how hard. with ben, there's always the thrill of how perceptive he is— that he can see through the walls of anger and indifference you try so hard to build up around yourself.

you can feel your will crumbling under his words, your heart throbbing in your chest, but still, you push back, "even if there is something there, solo," you say, your voice shaking slightly, "it doesn't change anything. we're two different people living two very different lives."

ben smirks, "you don't know anything about my life."

you let your eyes roll, "as if the life you lead is some kind of mystery," you take a deep breath, "i mean, what's to know? you fly alone, smuggle, and rack up credits. that's your life, solo."

he hums, right hand finding a home beside your head on the wall, "you know me so well, kid. you should write a book."

you feel inexplicably hot, "maybe i will. a long book of all the reasons you piss me off."

he doesn't respond, just looks down at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. he pushes himself from the wall and you, twisting and letting his back hit the durasteel wall. his face is turned to you, eyes downcast.

"you know," he says finally, breaking the silence, "i remember when we were kids, it was always you who used to be the one to instigate. you probably don't remember it that way, but i do, and i loved it. you never hesitated. you were fearless."

you look at him incredulously, wondering what this has to do with anything. but he continues, "you were the only girl that would play with me, and not just that, the only one that could beat me. but then one day you just stopped. you ignored me completely."

you stiffen, unwilling to admit even through body language that he might be right. a pre-teen you found avoiding your ben sized crush the most viable option. you just never thought he'd care.

he continues, eyes unwavering from yours, "you used to look at me like i was the only person that mattered. and then, you just stopped. it's was like… like you had something to hide."

it's like he can read your mind because he reaches out and grasps your wrist in his hand. his touch is nice against your skin, sending a comfortable feel through your veins.

"i miss you, the girl who wasn't afraid of liking me," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "and i want you to admit that you miss me too."

you struggle to find words, to make sense of everything inside of you, but before you can speak, his lips are on yours. his kiss is hot and demanding, and instinctively lean into him, body melting against his in perfect harmony. his hands slide around your waist and hold you close as the kiss deepens, and you can feel all of the frustrations of the past slipping away. when he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with emotion and a hint of a smile graces his lips.

he looks down at you for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "you want me to do that again?" he steps closer to you and cups your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with amusement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body and if it weren't for his strong arms around you, you would have melted into a puddle.

you nod slowly in agreement, too lost in the moment to say anything else. he leans down and brushes his lips against your cheek before pulling away completely, "then be honest. right here, right now. you like me."

you screw your eyes shut, basking in the shame of being found out, "i like you, solo. i like you a lot, but if you don't get off your pedestal and kiss me again i'll withdraw the opportunity."

he gazes down at you with an expression that's tender yet mischievous all at once. "i like you too," he whispers before chuckling lightly, you open your eyes to see.

his dimples are on full display, and for a second, he's the spirit of the little brat you fell in love with all those years ago. "c'mere, kid." his voice is soft as he pulls you back into him, lips meeting yours.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you #kylo x reader #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x you #ben solo fluff #ben solo angst #kylo ren fluff #kylo fluff #kylo ren angst #kylo angst #ben solo x female reader #kylo x you #kylo ren x y/n #smuggler!ben solo

[vibrantbirdy]

Hi! How are you??

Can I request a Kylo Ren x Reader, where the reader is Rey’s older sister and has telekinesis (very powerful) and protects him from all the people who are after him but over use them and pass out but release a energy blast but he catches the reader in his arms and places them his bed and waits till they wake up.

thank u :)

Thank you anon, you are my first ever request! I hope this is the sort of thing you were looking for.

Requests for Character x Reader fics are currently open in my Asks. Please read the guidelines first before requesting.

Title: Frequency Fandom: Star Wars: Skywalker Saga Genres: Sci-Fi; Action/Adventure; Enemies to Allies; Hurt/Comfort Setting: Post The Last Jedi, Pre The Rise of Skywalker Main Characters: Kylo Ren x Female Reader Chapters: 1/1 (Complete) Warnings: Mild/canon typical battle violence; mild/canon typical swearing Word Count: 2394 Summary: You are Rey's long lost sister - a powerful force wielder - and you encounter the First Order's Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, as you both search for something on a mysterious planet.

You are almost back to your shuttle when you hear it. Blaster fire. A lot of it. It echoes round the forest clearing and bounces off the ancient, gnarled trees typical of this green planet.

Lunah Prime.

You thought there might be something here to help you in your search, something within the ancient Jedi Temple. When you finally reached they decaying structure, however, you found it desecrated, gutted of all its artefacts and worse. At some point following the Clone Wars, it had been turned into a scrapyard for Separatist battle droids.

Even dormant, they were the stuff of nightmares. They were rusty looking, mechanical limbs strewn here and there. Dead. Even so, you'd been extremely cautious as you'd stepped over each and every one as if it were a sleeping predator.

Trust the First Order to just barge in and wake them all up. And why did they have to rain on your parade?! Their timing couldn't have been worse.

Idiots you seethe under your breath.

But it's not your concern. You are nearly at your destination. You carry on through the long, damp grass, making your way back to your shuttle with purpose. When you'd arrived, this clearing had been empty. Now it there were four First Order transports resting on the meadow in a perverse juxtaposition against the natural beauty of Lunah Prime's forested landscape. You are glad you landed somewhere more discrete.

The din of the firefight is close now. You don't stop. You don't even look back. You keep marching forwards towards your goal of getting the kriff out of here.

Just under a year ago, you'd felt a strange ripple in the Force. Distant, but so clear, so full of light and hope. And so familiar. In that moment, you knew your sister was alive and that something had awakened inside her.

It was as if Rey was finally exploring her own connection to the Force. Something you'd been doing for years now. And now you felt her presence as a thread between you, connecting you, so fragile that you felt if you let go of it just for a second, you'd lose it forever. So you never did.

You doubted Rey was aware of it. She had been so young when your parents had sent you away from Jakku. You had been ten and Rey had only been three when you'd left. She probably had no memory of you at all.

You knew your parents had done it to protect you. And Rey. But the memory still stung. Still, after that incident in the market when you'd thrown that idiot boy across the street and into the animals' water trough with your mind for pulling your hair one too many times...well... Even as a child you knew your parents had little choice after that. You'd drawn far too much attention to yourself and your family. You never understood why, but you knew you were in hiding on that junkyard of a planet. You'd never seen Rey or your parents again.

Your reverie is interrupted when you realise just how loud the battle at your back has become. You can't help it. You pause to turn and look at the carnage.

Stormtroopers are sprinting from the treeline into the clearing and towards the safety of their transports. They are in full retreat and their numbers are shockingly low. Then, you see the hoard of battle droids in pursuit.

Their advance is terrifyingly constant, pace neither quickening nor slowing as they creep inexorably forwards. They are shooting the Troopers without mercy, cruel blaster bolts searing through white armour and into retreating backs.

At the rear of the retreat is a tall young man clad all in black with tousled, raven hair. He is moving backwards, a solitary figure staying the advance of the droids alone. He swings his lightsaber, a fiery blade spluttering red with fierce looking cross-guard vents, and blaster bolts ricochet off it into droids and trees alike.

Immediately, you feel his presence in the Force. His connection to it is devastatingly powerful. He is ferociously strong with the Dark Side and you know it can't be anyone other than Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader of the First Order. Usurper of Snoke's throne.

Ren must have been looking for something in that ancient Jedi Temple too.

Soon he is the only non-mechanical lifeform on the field. You feel an unwelcome flash of admiration for his valiant effort. But no one, not even Kylo Ren, can hold off an entire garrison of B1 and B2 battle droids indefinitely.

The droids continue to encroach on his position, relentless, swarming like insects. Ren is tiring, his defensive swings become laboured and clumsy. You watch with an indifference that alarms you as a blaster bolt glances off his right thigh.

Ren lets out a cry of fury and pain. He is now on the ground, crawling backwards on his bottom as he uses his lightsaber to deflect a tide of blaster bolts with an intensity only desperation can fuel.

When he can, he uses the Force to blast droids backwards at great velocity. But his strength is clearly failing. He's covered in mud and his face is spattered with blood. His long legs flail as he scrambles backwards, trying to get purchase against the sodden ground with his uninjured leg.

You know you could help him. You're not a Jedi. But you have a raw power you've never quite understood, although you know it stems from the Force. You have always used it sparingly. You find it difficult to control. It drains you and necessitates that you rest and recover. It slows you down. And you don't have time for that...

You should leave Ren. It's no more than he deserves. Momentarily, you really think you've convinced yourself that you could abandon this man to die.

Dank Farrik you swear.

You sprint over to the fallen Ren, adrenaline surging through your entire body. Within moments, you are standing above him and have conjured - for that really is the only word for it - a shield of energy around the both of you.

Innumerable blaster bolts bounce off the thrumming wall with no effect. As you face them head on, you suddenly realise how many droids there really are, and your begrudging admiration for Ren's last stand increases ten-fold.

You take a few deep breaths, squeeze your eyes shut and centre yourself.

I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.

You repeat the ancient Jedi mantra an wizened man once told you about on some backwater moon years ago in your head. You don't know if the old-timer was making it up or not, but you have always found that it helps to ground you, to strengthen your connection to the Force, so that it feels that is nothing else in the Galaxy but your link to it

Then, with an almighty effort, you extend both your arms out in front of you and push. You watch as your shield becomes a battering ram, sending droids flying up into the air. You hold them there, unable to stop yourself marvelling at the surreal sight of hundreds of battle droids floating, weightless in the air, before you whip your hands downwards, palms facing the ground. The droids crash down to earth with a deafening cacophony of crunching metal.

You sway on the spot but stay conscious long enough to look down at the man whose life you've just saved. Ren's face is framed with wild tendrils of black hair and, expression softened by surprise and relief, he is disarmingly handsome. He has deep set golden eyes, a strong, prominent nose and full lips.

But... why is it blurry?

You stumble again and look up at the sky, trying to catch your breath and reestablish your balance. You're so tired. You need a minute. Just a minute and you'll be fine.

And then all fades to black.

*************************************************

Ren manages to sit up just in time to catch you, a large, gloved hand cradling your head and protecting it from slamming against the ground as you fall heavily against him.

He looks up and around in complete awe at the suddenly deathly silent surroundings. Battle droids, hundreds of them, lie either still as the grave, or twitching mournfully.

How fascinating, he thinks.

He hisses in pain as he staggers to his feet with you hanging limply in his arms. He is strong and powerfully built, but it's no easy feat to carry you with his injured leg which drags behind him as he starts to make his way slowly across the blaster cratered ground and the mechanical bodies of ancient battle droids strewn here and there.

Eventually, Ren realises this would be much easier if he had at least one hand free to help him balance so he lifts you up and slings you over his shoulder instead like a sack of meiloorun fruit. A supporting arm is crossed under your backside and your head lolls against his broad back in an undignified fashion. But Ren is growing impatient and weary and there is no need to be delicate when you are unconscious.

When he finally reaches his shuttle, he has to bend down even further than normal to make sure he doesn't bash any part of you off the door frame. He lumbers through the arterial corridor of the ship to his small, sparse quarters where lays you down with surprising gentleness onto his own bed.

Ren looks down at you, brows furrowed in curiosity as he studies your peaceful face. There is something familiar about you that he can't quite place. He takes up your hand, which seems tiny in his own, and closes his eyes.

He reaches into the Force, searching. Then his scar, the one that runs down the right side of his face, the one Rey gave him on Starkiller Base as it was collapsing all around them, throbs.

Of course. Your connection with the Force resonates on that same, high frequency. You can only be her sister. Perhaps a few years older than she is. But there's no mistaking it. That same strong resolve, that drive, that courage.

Your strength in the Force is brutally raw and untamed, but perhaps even greater than that of Rey. If tempered, if trained, perhaps you and he together could...

Ren rejects the thought almost immediately after it enters his mind. The wound of Rey's rejection of his hand on Snoke's gargantuan vessel, the Supremacy, still runs deep.

He doesn't need anyone. He can't trust anyone. What he needs is to focus on finding Palpatine and ridding himself of the only threat to his power left in the Galaxy.

He wants that Sith Wayfinder to light his way to Exegol. This disaster on Lunah Prime is only a minor foot note in his route to absolute power. He is so close now. He can feel it.

As the lingering adrenaline of combat starts to fade, Ren suddenly realises how exhausted he is. He removes his gloves and places a hand against your forehead, then two fingers against your neck to check your pulse. You'll be fine, he confirms. You just need rest. Then he can decide what to do with you.

He looks around at the sparsely furnished room searching for a chair, a bench, anything for him to rest in or against. First Order transport shuttles are spartan at the best of times and this is certainly not one of those.

Defeated, Ren winces as he lowers himself to the floor. He removes his long, black cape from around his shoulders and fashions himself a makeshift, muddy pillow which he lays his head upon gratefully. He acquiesces to keep watch over you for a little while until you recover. He owes you that much.

He just needs to rest his eyes.

********************************************************

When you wake, you are lying in an unfamiliar bed in strange surroundings. At first, you are too drowsy to register much but as your consciousness starts to return, you start and sit up as you realise you are on an Imperial shuttle. You look around the functional room. It is, thankfully, empty.

Empty save for...

What is that noise?

Someone is snoring. Only gently, but you are sure of it. You look down and to your surprise, on the hard, cold durasteel floor, the Supreme Leader of the First Order is asleep.

You feel a twang of gratitude that Ren didn't just discard you there in the clearing amid the bodies and the mud with battered and broken droids. Strange how a man with such a history would still give up his bed for an injured woman. How quaint.

Still, you don't know exactly how grateful for your intervention Ren is and you don't want to wait around to find out. You remove your shoes, desperate not to make any noise, and carefully extract yourself from the bed. Boots in one hand, you step over the sleeping man and pad barefoot to the door.

"Wait."

A deep voice, quiet but commanding resonates throughout the tiny room and travels up your spine. You freeze and turn. You jump involuntarily as you realise Ren is already on his feet, only inches away. He towers over you, your forehead only coming up to his broad, solid chest.

You look up and into his amber eyes with defiance, refusing to let him see your fear. This man would be dead without you, you remind yourself. If you have to remind him of that so be it.

You wait for him to speak, but he doesn't for a long time. He is looking at you intently, his face unreadable.

"It's nothing," he says, finally. His expression seems to soften and when he speaks next it's with disarming uncertainty, "I ... hope you find what you're looking for."

"I wish I could say the same for you," you quip with more bravery than you feel.

The ghost of a smirk leaves a faint trace in the dimples of his cheeks and he nods.

You turn on your heel and stride quickly down the corridor of the First Order transport and out into the meadow where you wriggle your toes in the wet grass and inhale lungfuls of the fresh, forest air. You waste no time in locating your ship where you drop into the pilot's chair with a relieved sigh.

Now, onwards to find Rey.

#star wars fanfiction #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren fanfic

[write-and-wander]

Touch: Chapter 6

Pairing:  Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader

Warnings:  Swearing, angst, and a new version of the sequels

Word count:  4.6K

Author’s note: It's time to see the truth behind Kylo's desires, and to meet the others! P.S. Enjoy a little indulgence in a moment with Poe Dameron, just to spice it up a bit here :)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Chapter 6: Fate's Blade

The following few months had come and gone in a bit of a blur.  Like clockwork, you would go through your daily routine, and on every fifth day you would stop by Coruscant to drop off the ship’s tracker before heading to Ahch-To for training with Luke.  After a long day of rigorous training, getting the most out of your time together, you would stop by Coruscant again before getting back to wherever the Finalizer had traveled and heading straight to bed.  In between your training, some days were hell in med bay with the odd failed battle or various attacks from the Resistance, while other days were oddly quiet; and in the midst of all of them, Kylo would make more consistent appearances.  You would find yourselves beginning to gravitate towards each other more often, giving in to the will of the force that would stop at nothing to draw the two of you ever closer. 

Despite the routine you had settled into and being satisfied with the progress you had been making through it, every once in a while you would have a day that strayed from the usual path.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You woke up slowly in the morning, your body aching from the long day before. You had been sent out for on-site care, as the Finalizer was close to the battlegrounds and it was easier to go to them than to try to bring up some of the injured. You let out a yawn as you stretched, and suddenly noticed you could feel another body weighing down the opposite side of your bed. Turning, you saw Kylo asleep beside you.  You sat up immediately, panic setting in.  For a moment, you wondered if something had happened that you didn’t remember. However, having just returned to the Finalizer the night before, you knew that wasn’t the case. 

“Kylo?”  You asked quietly, nervous to wake up the Commander.  You were met with no response.  He was sound asleep, his slow breathing still even.  Having adjusted to whatever this phenomenon was, you knew it would fade eventually, and instead got yourself ready for the day.  At one point, you thought you heard your name, but when you returned to your bed to look, Kylo was gone.  With a sigh of relief, you finished getting ready to go and took off to Coruscant.

The focus of your training that day was listening to the force- and not just in a meditative state or in combat, but in every moment.  The force- being the very essence of life and the animated energy of the universe- could guide you at any time, and if you could hear and listen to the force in the simple and quiet moments, then it would be a much stronger guide in more high-stakes moments.  Thankfully, that meant it wouldn’t be as exhausting or as long of a training day as you had grown accustomed to- though, it was just as tedious.  Despite the fact that Luke was patient and gentle in his training, he was also precise, and would not be finished with a session until he was satisfied with your proficiency. 

Upon reaching the conclusion of your training session, you decided to take an extra trip with your spare time and stop by Tatooine to visit the house of your recently discovered grandfather, Obi-Wan Kenobi.  You had been there before, when Kylo had a tantrum looking for something there, but you wanted to revisit now that you knew your connection to the place.  Before leaving Ahch-To, as you made it back up to your ship, your eyes drifted to the pile of weathered pieces of glass and stone left behind after Luke destroyed the pyramid you had.  With a soft smile to yourself, you thought about Luke’s advice to, “seek opportunities to invite the force in,” and closed your eyes, thinking about the object.  The moment you reached out to the force, it was dark- uncomfortably dark.  The black abyss whispered to you with voices you didn’t recognize, only having heard them once before; not the comforting hum of the light, but the sharp hiss of darkness.  You decided to push forward regardless, focusing on what you remember the object to look like, and reached into the thick shadows before you.  Feeling around, your hands grazed cold stone.  Reaching further down, you managed to grasp what feels like the pyramid, whole again.  The darkness began to crawl up your arms, the whispers growing in volume and dissonance as you grasped the object.  You took a deep breath in an attempt to quell the fear growing in the pit of your stomach and managed to pull it out, needing more strength than you thought you should, watching as the shadows retracted away from you.  In your hand was the pyramid, whole again.  You opened your eyes to see that the reality matched your vision as you held the repaired object.  Looking at it now, a small red light glowed in the center.  This one was different, somehow.  You had a feeling this is how the pyramid originally was, before Luke and Doron made changes to it.  You looked over to the cliffside to see the grass clean of all shrapnel.  Yes! You thought, celebrating the pay-off of the risk.

As you stuck the pyramid in your bag, you saw flashes of a dark planet.  Thunder roared overhead as winds kicked up the dust of the dead, flat earth.  There was a dark presence, stronger than you had ever sensed before.  The images faded just as fast as they came on, thankfully.  You let go of the pyramid in a bit of a panic, feeling the weight drop in the bottom of your bag, and took off to Tatooine.

Landing in front of the old abandoned home, you felt lighter than you had expected.  You were at peace here- like this place was always meant for rest and security.  You wandered the halls and allowed your hand to drag against the wall, the white dust gathering on your fingertips and swirling in the almost-still air before settling on the ground below.  You saw visions of the past again- an ability gifted to you by the force that you’ve finally started to grow used to- seeing Obi-Wan in his younger and older years, watching Luke and Doron play, and seeing a young, bright-eyed Luke learn of his past for the first time.  This home was filled with your family, and you were glad to be present in that for a while. 

After some time there, the sun began to approach the horizon, and you decided to grab some food from a nearby market before heading home, just to see what kind of things your grandfather and mentor had grown up with.  You walked through the market, struggling to find something that looked appetizing amidst the podracer parts and other goods of questionable origin.  At the same time, you pointedly kept an eye out for any bounty hunters or other sinister characters to ensure you’d make it back to your ship in one piece, as you knew these cities weren't the safest places to be.  Finding something to eat, you packed it up in your bag and quickly began to make your way out before someone appeared out of a nearby alleyway and grabbed your arm.

“Hey, Kenobi.”

You stopped, pulling over to the side, not wanting to draw attention to yourself or cause a scene.  However, your hands clenched into fists, prepared to put up a fight and make a quick escape if need be.  More importantly, you thought of the newly-reconstructed device in your bag, and hoped that he wasn’t after it.  “How do you know who I am?”

“I’m just here to tell you that you have friends who can help you,” he said as he glanced down at the crystal you had worn around your neck for as long as you could remember.  It seemed like he might’ve recognized it.

You looked at the man’s face, skeptical of whatever it was he was trying to sell- or, worse, take.  Admittedly, he was charming.  His dark features made for a handsome face, complete with dark eyes that sparkled with a sense of excitement.  He scratched his stubbled chin as you spoke again.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yeah, that was intentional,” he quipped, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of paper with coordinates written on it.  “Take this.”

You obliged, grabbing the piece of paper and palming it swiftly as you also reached for his dusty green cloak, pulling it back so you could look for anything that could possibly identify him.  Beneath the cloak was a unique leather jacket, well-worn-

“Hey, hey, hey,” he interjected, pulling his cloak closed, “let’s save that for another night, yeah?”  He flirted with a wink.  You stared back at him, struggling to keep up with whatever this interaction was.

“What do you want?” You hissed, grabbing his cloak to pull him close.

“Nothing!” He said immediately, putting a hand up in defense.  “Well, no- I mean, we want you, but only come when you’re willing.”

You loosened your grip as the last word- “willing-” fell from his lips; an all too familiar phrase.  Maybe he knew Luke, or someone close to him-

“Patrol’s coming, kiss me,” he whispered in haste.

“What-” You whispered back, not quite registering what he meant.

“Just- okay-” he cut you off, pulling you into him and pressing his lips against yours.

You stood still, stunned.  But before you could even think to move, he pulled away.  You heard a lower voice scoff- a grossed-out passerby, clearly antsy to move on with his day followed by a few sets of footsteps walking past.

“Sorry, I just- Ow!” He cried out as you dug the heel of your heavy walking boots into his toes. 

“I’ll think about it,” you said as you lifted your foot, “but that kiss doesn’t help your case, you know.”  You turned on your heel to walk away.

“No, I was just-“ he tried, but realized you weren’t turning back around for him as you continued walking.  “Oh, never mind,” he mumbled, taking off in the other direction.

Stopping in Coruscant, you decided to hide the pyramid back in the false panel in your home, nervous to take it out with you again after the interaction you just had.  With a moment to collect yourself and to hide the newly acquired coordinates amongst your things, you returned to the Finalizer.

On your way back, you thought about that kiss for longer than you would have liked to admit.  It wasn’t your worst kiss, but definitely wasn’t the best either; it wasn’t really anything notable, in all honesty.  But you wished it would have been someone else-

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

“Hey,” Luke calls out.  Hearing your mentor say your name is what finally pulls you out of your thoughts. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, refocusing your mind on the task at hand.

“We don’t have to train today if-”

“No, no, I need to.  There’s just a lot on my mind.”  You’re being generous, sure, but you definitely don’t want to talk about the things you’re thinking about.

“Leave it behind,” he reminds you.  You nod, thankful that he doesn’t push any further. 

“Okay,” you say with a deep breath, “I’m ready.”

“Here,” he says, holding out two lightsabers in his hands.  One, you recognize- it was the saber you had brought to him when you first met.  The other was unfamiliar. 

You look up at him, silently questioning if you should take them.  He nods.  You take both.

“Interesting choice,” he says, one eyebrow raised.  You realize he expected you to choose one; but both seemed to call to you.

“I should seek perfect balance, right?”  You ask, feeling the weight of both sabers in your hands.  At the same time, you can almost feel the force dancing between the two weapons- a dance between light and dark, like a passionate duel.  Luke nods, a small smile growing on his face.  “These blades balance each other out.”

“The force tell you that, too?” He asks, poking fun at your recent affinity for attributing most of your knowledge to the force.

“No.  It shows me.”  As you focus on the blades, the force brings visions to mind.  Training in a beautifully constructed temple.  Watching a beloved master die at the hands of a powerful warrior.  Fighting in battle after battle.  Sparring- as master and padawan.  Another padawan clashing with the blade- she, too, wielding two sabers.  Confidence.  Conflict.  Resolution.  Rebellion.  The blades clash together as a searing heat grows in the palms of your hands.  Betrayal.  Tragedy.  The vision snaps to black, and your tear-filled eyes look up to see Luke again, his hand resting on your shoulder.

“This blade belonged to my father, Anakin,” he says, looking to the saber in your left hand- the one you had recognized. “and this belonged to his mentor, Obi-Wan,” he adds as he looks to the saber in your right.  “You would make for quite the warrior, should you wield both well.”

You nod.

“One more thing,” Luke takes Obi-Wan’s saber from your hand and opens the hilt, revealing an empty canister.  “You’ll need that,” he continues, pointing to the crystal you had worn around your neck all your life.  Taking off the necklace, you unwrap the leather cord from around the crystal and place it into the saber.  Luke closes the blade and replaces it in your hand.  “Okay,” he finishes with a breath, “are you ready?”

You draw the blades from your sabers, your jaw hanging slightly in a moment of awe- I finally have my own lightsabers.

“An elegant weapon, isn’t it?” Obi-Wan’s voice echoes in your mind.

You smile to yourself and look back to Luke.

“Ready.”

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••  

You’re standing in med bay, organizing the latest shipment of bandages in one of the utility closets when Kylo enters the room, the sound of the doors opening making you jump.  Your hand moves to your chest as you catch your breath, calming yourself.  He greets you by name, his voice warped by his helmet.

“Commander,” you answer, intentional in your use of formalities in more public spaces.  You almost ask him what he’s visiting for, but you stop yourself, remembering that he would usually bring a prisoner to you around this time of the week.  It made for your least favorite days as one of the Order’s medics, but you prefer to have the chance to comfort the poor souls they took in rather than handing them off to a droid.  There’s clearly something about putting people in the hands of another living, breathing person that lifts their spirits, if even for a moment.  It also would also give you a chance to really take your time and keep them for as long as you could, allowing them a break from whatever hell Kylo and the other leaders on the ship would put them through.

Come to think of it, actually, you had yet to see Doron in med bay.  You’ve been hoping to see him ever since you found out the truth about him being your father, but you’ve heard nothing since they brought him in.

Kylo must have noticed your train of thought running away from you, as eventually he speaks up again, bringing your attention back to him.  “I notice you’ve been taking advantage of the ship.”

“I have.  Thank you.”

“What do you do on Coruscant?”

You feel your body tense at the realization that he had, in fact, been checking the ship’s tracker all this time.  You’re thankful that you’ve been careful about it.  “I enjoy being home as often as I can.”

“Was Chandrila not your home too?” he presses, clearly for a reason.  He was looking for something.

“Sure, but it’s not the same as a childhood home,” you respond, hoping that he wouldn’t continue to push.

He hums.

“Do you have anyone for me to tend to today?”

“No.  The few we had have been executed,” he answers, his tone more relaxed than you would like considering what he was saying.

Your eyes widen.  Doron.

“Is something wrong?” Kylo asks, clearly having taken notice of your reaction.

“What about-”

“The man?  Doron?”

You turn to Kylo.  That bastard knows, doesn’t he?

“Snoke ordered for his execution yesterday.”

“While I was gone?”

“Would you have preferred to watch?” He asks, almost pouring salt on the wound. You pause for a moment, horrified by his words.

“You knew,” you spat, rage boiling in the pit of your stomach.

If you could have seen under his helmet, you would see the internal conflict clear on his face.  On the one hand, he’s had yet to see you angry, and it’s beautiful to him.  It’s promising.  On the other, your attachment to Doron could mean you are, in fact, tied to the resistance.  His own anger begins to fester.  He decides to push.

“I don’t, actually,” he challenges. 

“I never saw him once!”  You threw down a bundle of wraps that you had been clutching, “What did you do to him?!”

“He-”

“No, what did you do to my father?!”  The question slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it.  His demeanor shifts.  Shit.

“You are with the resistance?” he asks, almost growling in a tone lower than you’ve ever heard.

“Kylo!” You scream, pushing him hard.  His back slams into the wall behind him.  The doors begin to open- likely troopers trying to come in and subdue you- but Kylo lifts his hand to hold them shut.

“I granted him a swift death- much more than any of those animals deserve.”

“Animal?!  He was-”

“Trying to ruin everything!” Kylo bellows, his figure now looming over you.  “People like them always ruin everything!  I killed him for our own good!”

Looking up at him, you realize you’ve been backed into a corner.  You try to push him away from you, but he catches your hands in his. 

He hisses your name.  “Can’t you see?”

You shake your head, feeling panic and confusion begin to set in and pierce through your own rage.

He takes his helmet off with his free hand and throws it against the wall just above your head, making you jump.  You feel his hot breath hit your face as he speaks.  “You asked why the force brought us together- this is it.  Don’t you feel that?  The power your pain gives you?”

You think on his words, helpless to do much else.  I do feel powerful.  The low hiss of dark whispers flood your mind again, cooing: ‘Good.  Let your anger drive you.  Give in to your pain.’  You pull away from the darkness, recognizing the feeling of the shadows clawing towards you, desperate to latch on.

“This is bringing you to your greater purpose,” Kylo adds, standing back so that he’s no longer leaning over you.  “We could rule the galaxy together.  Do what our grandfathers failed to do.  You and me.”  He extends his hand to you.  “Join me,” he pleads in a whisper as soft as a prayer, “please.”

As much as you desperately want to see the man you still believe was within him, at this moment, you can only see the monster who took your father from you and enjoyed it.  You shake your head, running to the doorway.  As the doors finally draw open, the troopers outside immediately draw their blasters on you.

“Let her go,” Kylo bellows from inside.  They obey, and you rush back to your quarters with tears streaming down your cheeks.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

After a few hours, you had cleaned yourself up and packed the absolute necessities.  You head to the hangar, making a point to avoid Kylo, Hux, and any other person of note that shouldn’t see you leaving right now.  Thankfully, you get to your ship without issue.  Dropping your bag off inside, you take the tracker you had grown accustomed to constantly removing and replacing, and you set it down in the stall your ship was parked in.  With it there, and with the luxury of having a ship that looks like most of the other ships in the hanger, you should be able to buy some time before anyone notices you’re really gone.  With a deep breath, you take off, staring at the coordinates written on the crumpled piece of paper in your hand.  It’s time to find these “friends.”

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Arriving at the resistance base, you're anxious.  You were riding in on a ship that clearly belonged to the First Order, following the coordinates and instructions of a man you were completely unfamiliar with, hoping that you did, in fact, have friends here willing to help.  It’s a gamble.  But, considering your other options, it’s a gamble you’re willing to take.

As you approach the base, a radio transmission comes through asking you to identify yourself.

“I was told to come here to find friends who want to help me.  I don’t know the name of the man who-”

“You don’t need to, Kenobi,” a familiar voice cuts in, “I was hoping you’d come.”

Your shoulders finally dropped as you relaxed.  Thank the force, he remembers.

When you land, your ship is immediately ushered to a different area to be repainted so as to avoid drawing any attention to the First Order’s ship residing among the resistance’s ships.  The first person to greet you as you arrive is the same man who found you on Tatooine and gave you the coordinates for this place.  You learn is name is Poe Dameron, also known as ‘the best pilot they’ve got,’ according to him. 

He takes you by the hand and walks you through the base, showing you where everything is and introducing you to just about everyone you run into on your mini tour.  You struggle to keep up with all the places and names, and he takes notice after a while, deciding to slow his pace and only point out the essentials.  At one point, as he talks, your mind begins to wander back to your first interaction with him, on Tatooine.  Does he ever think about it still?  Is it something he’s used to?  Is he going to acknowledge that it happened, or does he just want to move on from it?  Eventually, your thoughts wander back to the conversation at hand as Poe rambles on about the exciting new developments that have come along with some of the droids on base. 

At the end, Poe introduces you to his other friends, Finn and Rey, and of course, the leader of the whole operation, Leia Organa.  Though you’re quiet at first, worried about taking too much of their time- or really, not being worth the time and effort it would take to have you join the effort- you eventually warm up to your new friends.  Leia is headstrong, brilliant, and kind- like the kind of person you hope to be someday.  Finn is intuitive, selfless, and clearly very brave, based on some of the stories the others told you about him.  Rey is optimistic, tough, and confident; and her connection to the force seems to only amplify those things.  Poe fits right in, being loyal, persistent, and selfless, even if he is a little snarky sometimes.  You also eventually learn that Leia is Luke’s twin sister- after she tells you, of course, you can’t unsee it- and that Rey has been training under Luke as well, honing in on her abilities with the force.

After some time spent on the base, you grow more comfortable with the environment and with the people in it.  Rey finally asks you about your story, wondering how you ended up here.  Though hesitant, you eventually tell your friends everything.  You tell them about your relationship with Kylo, giving a summarized overview from your first interaction with him up to your last.  You tell them about your training with Luke, and your father’s ties with the Skywalkers.  You tell them about your lost memories, and your goal to get them back.

“I may be able to help with that,” Rey says, having been deep in thought for the past few minutes.  “So long as our General is willing to assist,” she adds, looking back to General Organa. 

Leia nods, “Of course.”

With a long bout of meditation, a few adjustments after multiple interruptions, and a group effort to reach out to the force for restoration, Leia and Rey help restore your memory in full.

In a moment, years of memories come flooding back into your mind.  You remember your parents, your mother falling ill and your father learning how to parent you alone.  You recall your favorite toys and the friends you had made on Coruscant.  You remember learning about the force and your strong relationship with it, starting to train at an early age.  You remember your father nervously trying to teach you how to listen to the force in all things, and how you were most interested in the force as a guide to help you care for others.  You remember the day your father left, finally connecting it to waking up the next morning, alone and confused.  While you still struggle to grapple with the pain and grief that comes with the decisions your father made, at the same time, there is a deep sense of joy and gratitude for the time you did have with your parents.  While you didn’t get to see him one last time as an adult, you could rest now that you know who your father was.

You’re given a moment on your own to process through all of your memories and gather your thoughts.  In doing so, you decide to stay with the resistance and help wherever you can.  They are the closest you have to family for the time being, they actively care more for each other than they do for accomplishing their mission, and together you can end Kylo’s reign of terror.  This is where you want to be- this is the side of history you want to be on.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

A few weeks later, you’re walking through the resistance base to find Rey and ask if she wants to train with you.  You pause in one of the hallways, hearing voices in conversation.  You step up to the door, listening in to hear them talking about a map of some sort that will guide them for the final battle.

“What was it called again?”

“A wayfinder.  It’s meant to guide Sith.”

“Like a map?”

“Yeah, sort of.  It's a pyramid, like a kind of three-dimensional guide, instead of a carving or a hologram.”

“How does a pyramid guide someone like a map?”

“Not sure…”

Their voices begin to fade as your mind immediately thinks of the stone green pyramid you’ve been holding onto all this time.  The one that first brought you to Luke, but now will clearly guide you to somewhere else.  The one that you were prepared to protect the first time you saw Poe. The one that Kylo Ren has been looking for all along.  He was right.  I am the key to finding it- because I have one of them.

You trace back through your memory and realize that it’s still sitting in the false wall in your home in Coruscant.  You can give it to the resistance, and they can finally put an end to all of this.

But first, you need to find a pilot who is both willing and able get you to Coruscant and protect you along the way.  Someone who is willing to do whatever it takes- no matter how risky- to succeed.  Someone who will know exactly where to take the wayfinder, and what to say to General Organa when it shows up on the rebel base.

You need to find Poe Dameron.

(Part 7)

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[justsomerandomfanfic]

Save Me - Kylo Ren / Ben Solo X GN Reader

Title: Save Me

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo X GN Reader

Additional Characters: Rey, Luke (Mentioned), and Leia (Mentioned),

Requested

WC: 5,198

Warnings: Mention of blood, mention of death, yelling, fighting, threats, very long, and huge angst with a happy ending

You stood in the middle of a clearing, eyes closed. Your lightsaber pulsed in your hand, and you held it tighter. You took a deep breath, before you spun around, holding your lightsaber in a fighting stance. Letting out the breath, you swung your lightsaber, slicing through the air. As you practiced, you tried to remember what Luke had taught you. You remembered him telling you to practice and to always be ready for anything.

You moved gracefully around the clearing, eyes remaining close as you did your deadly dance. You sliced through the air, occasionally feeling the heat of your saber near your face. The Jedi training was now nothing but a memory, though even though you thought about Luke's teachings, you still couldn't help but feel uneasy. You knew you wouldn't be ready without him. You couldn't teach yourself. Though, as you swung and moved, you couldn't help but feel at peace. You could feel one with the force.

But, that didn't stop you from trying every day. You practiced and practiced until you were sore. It wasn't easy to train when you had no one there with you to spar with, or at least watch over you while you did your practice. So, you just kept on doing it alone, knowing you would have to do everything by yourself.

As you swung your saber to the side, you stood up straight, breathing heavily. You finally opened your eyes. Rey stood there, hands on her hips.

"You're getting better." She spoke, and you sighed, sheathing your lightsaber and hooking it to your pants.

"It won't be enough." You muttered, wiping your forehead of sweat with the back of your hand.

"You're a very talented fighter, Y/N. You're better than me." Rey stated, walking closer to you, smiling warmly. "I can tell how much you care about getting stronger."

"It's not about getting stronger. I have to always be ready... For anything." You said, looking down.

Rey nodded, understanding before she looked to the sky.

"You feel that?" She asked and you paused, feeling the force course through you.

You felt something. Something was coming.

"Yeah... I feel it."

Rey turned to you, "I have to warn the others. You know what to do."

You nodded, your eyes hardening. Soon the trees around you moved as the wind picked up. A large ship flew over, landing in the field. It wasn't a Resistance ship. No... It was The First Order.

You grabbed your lightsaber, holding it firmly in your hand as you walked to the edge of the field. You watched as the ship's ramp lowered. Troopers marched down in pairs, stopping in a line, holding their blasters. Your eyes widened slightly as their leader, Kylo Ren walked down the ramp, his black cape flowing in the wind. You felt an overwhelming sense of dread and death flow from him. His force aura was strong... Powerful...

What was he doing here?

Kylo stopped only a couple of feet from you, tall, dark, menacing. He stared at you, you could feel it through his helmet. You felt your heart beat faster as you continued to stare right back at him. The troopers moved their guns, ready to fire. Kylo raised his hand, stopping them from firing.

"Surrender, and your friends won't get hurt." He spoke, his voice was robotic as it traveled through his mask.

You fixed your stance, tightening your grip on your saber. "Sure, like I'd trust the bad guy." You spat back defiantly.

His eyes narrowed, "The First Order is not who you think it is. We are here to protect our people. To restore order."

"And you think I'm the threat? Do you think the Resistance is a threat? We are here to bring peace and balance to the force once again." You argued.

"Peace and Balance are old ways. They've been destroyed." Kylo spoke, stepping closer to you.

You glared at the man, "Peace and balance can never be destroyed so long as you have hope." You spoke and Kylo initiated his lightsaber.

You observed his saber, glowing red. You racked your brain with questions. Who made his lightsaber? You concluded that Kylo used a cracked Kyber crystal, making his saber more ragged and unstable in appearance.

"Last chance, surrender or die." He spoke, threateningly, but you didn't back down. You kept on staring at him, your eyes focused on his mask.

"Not going to happen." You seethed, activating your saber beside you.

He growled, "Then prepare to meet your end!"

"Nah, I think I'll pass." You countered.

Kylo ran towards you, swinging his saber, but you blocked it. The two blades clashed against each other, sparks flying between the two of you. You were too quick for Kylo, dodging his swings easily. Frustrated, he swung again, narrowly missing you as you leaned back as the saber passed over you. You could feel the heat of the lightsaber against your skin.

"Come on..." You grumbled under your breath. "Is that the best you can do?"

He hesitated before speaking, which gave you a small amount of satisfaction.

"I should ask you the same."

You glared, moving forward, and you swung your blade. Kylo blocked it, as he gave the signal for his troopers to move in.

"No!" You yelled, eyes frantic as you continued to hold Kylo off. "You can't do this."

"What does it matter?" Kylo said, hitting your saber again. "They'll all die anyway."

"We aren't all going to die! I swear until my last breath that I am going to end the First Order." You threatened, your voice cracking.

Kylo smirked, "Good luck with that."

With a snarl, Kylo swung his saber, aiming at your chest. You shifted your body, putting your saber up and blocking it. Kylo pushed down, getting closer to you. You grabbed your saber with your other hand, forcing his saber up and off with a grunt.

You stepped away, breathing heavily, holding your saber in defense. A trooper of his rushed over suddenly, out of breath.

"Sir, we're outnumbered." He spoke, and Kylo turned to him.

"Go to the ship, we'll recuperate at the base." He growled, before looking at you once more, sheathing his lightsaber and turning away.

You watched as the troopers rushed past you, rushing up the ramp, Kylo walking up, hooking his saber to his belt. You smirked, sheathing your own saber, you crossed your arms, pivoting your balance to one side. Kylo stood at the entrance of the ship, looking at you as you wiggled your fingers teasingly his way. Growling, Kylo clenched his fist, his leather gloves crinkling.

Closing his eyes, he tried to get into your mind. To try and find out who you were. But you easily blocked him. Marching his way to the main cabin, Kylo slammed his hand down on the desk, startling one of his workers.

"Find whatever you can on this person." He demanded, pointing out the front windows toward you, still standing at the edge of the field, watching as the ship slowly lifted into the air.

"Yes, sir."

~~~

You watched as the ship flew away, once you couldn't see it anymore you finally let out a huge sigh. Rey rushed out and stopped beside you, placing her hand on your shoulder. You suddenly closed your eyes, holding your head. You could feel Kylo trying to get into your mind. You quickly pushed him back, and breathed deeply.

"Are you okay?" Rey asked.

You shook your head, "Uh, yeah. What about everyone else?"

"Yes, they are fine. Only a few injuries." Rey answered, patting your shoulder.

Looking up into the sky, you sighed. "He's going to come back."

Rey nodded, "Yes, but we'll be stronger. He won't stop us."

"I hope you're right."

~~~

"Sir, I got something." The worker spoke and Kylo walked over.

"Who are they?" He asked, and the worker cleared their throat.

"Their name is Y/N L/N, they used to be a lightsaber architect before the Resistance weakened. They created and constructed lightsabers to help teach younglings. Before that, they lived on Tatooine with their parents until they were killed by the Empire when they were young. They survived by thievery and later fixing up old speeders. They are force-sensitive and was found by Skywalker where they were taught the Jedi ways before the temple burned down. They then joined the Resistance and started creating sabers." The man spoke and Kylo narrowed his eyes on the screen.

"It also says here that their great grandfather created Darth Vader's lightsaber." He finished, now this information surprised Kylo.

"Send this to my data pad." He spoke and the worker nodded, sending the information to Kylo.

Kylo stomped his way to his chambers, sitting down in a large black leather chair. Clasping his hands together, he crossed his legs, thinking. He hadn’t thought about you in a long time. You were strong. Very strong with the force. Just like Rey. But, Kylo saw something different in you. Maybe it was your attitude. Or maybe it was your stubbornness. Whatever it was, Kylo knew that you would need to be taught. And that's exactly what he planned to do. He would convince you and bring you to the Order. He would teach you to become a fearless, and powerful fighter.

As Kylo thought, he realized that there was something that drew him in. Just like the force, you had some aura about you. Some power that was unlike any other. He knew that if he didn't have you in his ranks, then the Republic would surely rise in power. His door to his chambers opened, a trooper walking in.

"Sir, we're landing at the base." He spoke, informing the commander.

"Good, leave me." He spoke, and the trooper nodded, bowing before he left, the doors slid closed once more.

Pulling up the information about you on his data pad, Kylo stared at your profile picture.

You're just like me, he thought, zooming in on the picture. You both fought for what you wanted. You didn't back down. You stood your ground. You were powerful... Intimidating.

Kylo smiled as he looked down at his pad.

"Y/N L/N." He whispered, his lips curling into a smile. "If you're to join the Order, it will be my pleasure to train you, and… To see you again."

~~~

"We're moving bases?" You asked Rey as people around you packed everything up in the base, setting it in three heavy frigates.

"Are you saying we should stay?" Rey asked and you nodded, following her as she checked off things on her list.

"I'm saying that we should stay a little longer. I don't have a good feeling about this." You spoke, biting your lip.

Rey paused what she was doing, "There aren't any more resources on this planet to help us... We're going to Crait."

"Crait? What possible resources do they have there?" You asked, knowing Crait was just a small salt planet.

Rey huffed, "The base there has the resources." She explained and you looked up at her.

"What kind of resources?" You questioned.

Rey frowned, "Well... food especially, and medical supplies. There is a lot of technology on that base."

You nodded, "Okay. So when are we leaving?" You asked, glancing around the room.

"Tonight."

You continued to worry on your bottom lip, Rey sighed, rubbing your back.

"You'll be fine. He's far. If we're lucky, he won't be back for a while." She reassured you, and you nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you." You mumbled, smiling a bit.

"For what?"

You shrugged, "For helping me."

Rey smiled and nodded, before rushing off. Your smile faltered and you rushed to your room, grabbing your bag and packing up your stuff. You felt uneasy. You knew Kylo wouldn't give up that easily. He'd go after the Resistance. And you were ready to face him no matter what happened.

~~~

You pulled back, lightsaber warming the side of your face. As you breathed out, you swung your blade, slashing through the air. It had been a long month on the planet Crait. There was nothing to do except practice and help Rey and her friends. But, you are still worried. The wind picked up, the smell of the planet's salt wafted into the air. You finished practicing and turned off your saber, looking at it. Tossing it in your hand, you flipped it into the air, catching it. Smiling, you had an idea.

Rushing inside the base, you went to one of the workrooms. Shoving items and objects out of your way, you placed your bag and lightsaber on the table. You hadn't made or constructed a lightsaber in a long time, but you were excited to do it again. Taking out your tools, you grabbed your magnify-glasses. Grabbing your first tool, you began to take your lightsaber apart. Looking through the lenses, you could see the components, the wires, the circuitry. You carefully took them out, placing them on the table.

Slowly, you grabbed your Kyber crystal with your tweezers. You placed it on the table, and began working. You grabbed your protective glasses, you began to work on adding a few... Upgrades. You worked for hours, and hours. It was early morning when you finally finished. You placed and secured the final metal piece. You let out a huge sigh, completely tired, and slightly delirious. You cleaned up your workplace and grabbed your saber. You dragged your feet to your room and fell into your bed, instantly falling asleep.

~~~

"Y/N!"

You woke up when you heard your name, rubbing your eyes as you yawned. Rey stood by your bed, eyes widened.

"What?" You asked and Rey frowned.

"He's here. I need you to distract him. I have a plan to get his troops trapped in one of the salt pits."

When you heard that Kylo was back, you were instantly awake. Hopping out of the bed and grabbing your saber, you quickly rushed out of the room and out to the entrance of the base.

Kylo watched from the ramp as the base's huge metal door lifted, vulptices rushed out of the base; disappearing from sight as their salty coat shimmered in the light. As the door lifted further, you stood there, holding your lightsaber by your side. The both of you walked forward towards each other. The base's door shut loudly, echoing. Merely feet from each other, the two of you didn't speak for a long time.

"You should surrender." He spoke, and you sighed.

"Are we really going back to this? I'm not surrendering." You spoke with a roll of your eyes.

Kylo smirked, "Why not? You've given up on so many things, Y/N. Why not give up on this too?"

Filled with confusion, you tilted your head slightly. "What are you talking about?"

Kylo stepped closer, "You gave up on saving your friend… From the temple."

Eyes widening for a moment, you glared at the man, writing your teeth.

"How do you know about that? I cou;dn’t do anything, I was a kid." You spoke, roughly.

He stepped closer, "You had the force. You could've done something." He spoke and you growled.

"You are not tricking me into thinking his death was my fault. I have lived with the idea of that, but I know it wasn't my fault. It was the Empire's fault." You spoke coldly, looking away from him.

"So, you decided to join the Resistance instead of avenging him?" He asked, and you looked back at him.

"What?" You said, confused.

"What would joining the Empire or the Order do about my dead best friend? Nothing! But, joining the rebellion would save more lives than I could ever imagine. That's why I joined." You spoke and Kylo stopped, tilting his head. "I'm not an idiot, Kylo."

No, you weren't, he thought.

"You are more like me than you think." He spoke and you laughed bitterly.

"Really? I think that your helmet is cutting off your brain's circulation." You spat.

"And yet, you don't deny it." Kylo retorted, and you scoffed.

"I am not like you, Kylo. I don't kill people because they don't want to kneel before me." You spoke, and he glared.

"Do you think I care? I want to rule the galaxy, to defeat the last Jedi, and bring balance to the force." He spat angrily.

"Doing that won't bring you anything." You replied, and Kylo raised his eyebrows.

"How do you know that?" He asked and you shrugged.

"Darth Vader wanted the same thing, and from what I heard... He failed."

Igniting his saber, he growled. Lighting yours, you lit both ends, showing off your new double-bladed lightsaber. You watched as Kylo hesitated before speaking.

"Added an upgrade, I see?" He gestured to your saber with his.

"Yeah. I needed some change in my life." You replied, not looking at him as you swung your lightsaber expertly in the air, catching it and spinning it around with ease.

"A double blade will only slow you down, Y/N. It will not help you win against me." He warned.

"Oh, really?" You replied, and he smirked.

You both charged at each other, your lightsabers flashing in the sunlight. Kylo slashed, swinging his saber towards you. You dodged and blocked, moving your hands and feet. For a moment, the two of you were locked in a dance, both of you trying to get the upper hand on the other. Kylo grinned as he saw you start to lose your concentration.

Taking a step forward, Kylo swung his saber towards you, aiming for your chest. You stepped backwards, dodging the blow easily, but lost your grip on your saber, dropping it onto the salty ground. Eyes wide, you backed away, but Kylo followed.

"You have so much to learn." He spoke, before taking off his helmet and tossing it to the side.

You were amazed by how beautiful he was, with his black wavy hair, and deep brown eyes. He looked so similar. But you quickly pushed that out of your mind, glaring at the man before you.

"I can teach you." He continued.

"I don't want your teachings." You snapped, before jumping up and kicking Kylo's lightsaber out of his hands. Using the force, sending it flying in the direction of the salt pit.

"That's right. You shouldn't need that anymore." You spoke with a smirk, and Kylo sneered.

He wanted to wipe that smirk off your lips, one way or another.

"I'm going to show you pain." He snarled, charging at you.

Swiftly, you moved out of the way, avoiding his blow and dodging his fist, spinning around you and pushing him away.

"You have no chance against me, Y/N." Kylo spoke, and you rolled your eyes.

"Oh, I think you'll be surprised."

Kylo tried to grab you, but you used the force to knock him over. He landed hard on the ground, groaning. Picking himself up, he charged at you again. Quickly, you jumped out of his way, using the force to lift yourself into the air gracefully.

"Impressive." Kylo said, watching you float back down.

As the two of you moved, the red soil underneath the salty ground emerged, creating beautiful, but deadly art. You swing your fist, but Kylo grabbed your wrist. Trapped in his grasp, you tried to pull away, but you couldn't. Looking up at the man, you noticed his smug grin and narrowed your eyes. In a quick move, Kylo whipped you around, spinning you out as if you were dancing and into his chest.

"You're stronger than you look." He spoke, watching as you tried to figure out a way to get out of the situation.

"It's time to end this, Y/N." He spoke, and you nodded, getting an idea.

"Then, let's make it memorable." You replied, leaning up quickly and pressing your lips against his, holding his face in your hands.

Kylo's eyes widened, shock and surprise written all over his face as you pulled away. While he was distracted, you grabbed your lightsaber with the force and ran back to the giant base door, sliding under it as it went up and slowly closed. Kylo cursed under his breath, grabbing his saber and helmet with the force as well, stomping his way towards his ship. As the ship's doors closed, Kylo raged, looking around.

"Where are my knights?" He demanded, and a worker spoke up.

"They were lured into the salt pits, sir." He spoke, and Kylo growled.

Rushing off to his chambers, Kylo slashed the walls with his lightsaber, destroying everything in sight. Rage consumed him, but he pushed it away. Focusing on the mission ahead, he sat down and activated his comlink.

"I want everyone focused on bringing Y/N L/N in."

Kylo collapsed in his slightly murdered chair, running his hand through his hair. He tried to close his eyes, but all he saw was you. The kiss... Your body pressed against his...

"Focus on the mission, Kylo." He told himself sternly, opening his eyes.

~~~

You slid down the heavy door, breathing heavily. You raised your hand, touching your lips with the tips of your fingers. You felt dizzy, your heart racing, your face red with a fierce blush. Who was he? He was so familiar. The way he looked at you. Deep down, you felt as if you should’ve known who he was. You looked at your hand, before pushing yourself up and rushing to your room. Before you could get to your room though, Rey stopped you in the hall.

"Great job out there. Whatever you did kept him away long enough for us to take down his troopers." She smiled, patting your shoulder.

"Thank you." You breathed, smiling back at her.

You didn't want to tell her what you did to succeed though.

"You go get some rest. You deserve it."

"Thanks." You smiled, nodding your head and walking into your room. You leaned back onto the bed, closing your eyes. Your thoughts wandered to Kylo, and your cheeks flushed. You replayed the moment in your mind, and your heart pounded harder. You shouldn't feel this way towards him.

But you liked it.

You loved it.

~~~

It had been a few months since your 'dance battle' per se with Kylo. You had almost forgotten what had happened that day... Almost. It still lingered in the back of your mind at times. You and the Resistance moved to Tatooine. Where you were traveling through the small town, trudging through the sandy roads as you made it to a cantina. But, then you stopped. You felt uneasy. Something from the force was telling you that something was wrong.

You looked around but saw nothing, you shrugged to yourself and continued walking.When you passed an alleyway, you felt a sharp sting on the side of your neck. Hissing, you clutched your neck, feeling a small dart. Pulling it out, you stared at it before you began to lose your vision, and slowly slipped out of consciousness.

~~~

You groaned, the light behind your eyes already blinding you. You didn't want to open them, but you had to. Opening them, you found yourself strapped to a slightly tilted table. You tried to sit up, but you instantly fell back down.

"Don't move." A voice spoke, and you blinked a few times. You recognized that voice. Kylo.

"Where am I?"

"My base." He spoke and you glared at the man.

"How did you find me?"

"I have my ways." He spoke, and you narrowed your eyes.

"Why am I here?" You asked, straining against the wraps on your arms and wrists.

"You're here because I want answers, Y/N."

You rolled your eyes. "You already know that I am here, so you know where our base is. You don't need me. Can I go now?" You tried and Kylo frowned.

"That's not what I wanted to ask. Where is Skywalker?" He demanded, and you rolled your eyes.

"Who? Who's Skywalker?"

"Are you serious? Luke Skywalker!" He roared, and you glared.

"Mmm, no I don't think I know who that is..." You spoke, sounding very bored.

"You know where he is, Y/N." He growled, and you sighed.

"Fine. I'll tell you, but you have to let me go." You spoke softly, and he shook his head.

"No." He replied, and you groaned.

"Then I guess I can't help you."

"I know where your friends are..." He spoke, and you nodded.

"Very well. Then I suggest you untie me, so that we might continue our conversation." You spoke calmly, and he seemed to consider what you just said.

Kylo ignored you, staring at you as you stared at him. He had a look in his eyes, as he looked at you. You didn't like that look. It unnerved you.

"What is it?" You asked, looking back at him.

"I want to know-"

You sighed, annoyed, "I told you, I don't know where Luke is-" You interrupted him.

"Not that..." He spoke softly.

His mind was racing as was his heart.

"I want to know why you kissed me." Kylo spoke, and you turned bright red.

He wanted to know if you kissed him because you remembered, or not.

"I had to distract you somehow. By the way... It worked, all your troopers fell for the pit trap." You smirked and Kylo glared down at you.

Kylo narrowed his eyes as he looked at you. Using the force he let himself into your mind. You couldn't fight it, you were too weak from the tranquilizer dart. Searching in your mind, he smirked when he found what he wanted.

"Get... Out of my head." You seethed, eyes clenched shut as you hissed in pain. "Stop it! What do you want?!" You yelled, trying to push out of the way. Kylo grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"You." He growled, and you rolled your eyes.

"What are you even talking about?"

"I want you to join me. My reign will begin once Skywalker is gone."

"That's not happening." You spat back, glaring at him.

Kylo chuckled darkly before speaking, "Ah, but you wouldn't say that if you knew what was in store for you."

Moving your chin from his grasp you looked at him skeptically. "Like what?"

Kylo hummed, "You and I can rule the universe together. Not let anyone stand in our way."

Kylo moved closer to you, moving his lips to your ear.

"Surrender, Y/N. Join me."

You shuddered as you felt his hot breath on your neck. "No."

Kylo sighed, "I give you one last chance to join me."

You said nothing, turning away from him with a frown.

He scoffed, "I should've let you die... But I chose to protect you." He spoke and you turned to him with a confused expression.

"What?" You asked and Kylo turned back to you, glaring.

"You don't remember? I thought taking off my helmet would've helped you."

Staring at the man before you, you looked at his hair, to his brown eyes, to his freckles, and his nose. Slowly, the puzzle pieces formed together, and you remembered.

~~~

Everything was on fire. Smoke filled the temple, entering your lungs, making your cough. You couldn't see anything but flames. You coughed as you ran through the burning building, trying to find where everyone was. Around you, the other children were dead, either from the smoke or some other deadly weapon. You searched for some way out, feeling weaker and weaker as time went on. You had to find Ben, but you couldn't find him, he was gone. Your best friend was missing and you assumed the worst. Tears streamed down your face as you screamed for someone to help.

"Help!" You shouted, leaning down to cough. "There's no one else here! Please, somebody, help me!"

You suddenly felt someone grab you by the arm and pull you from the temple and through the halls and finally into the open air. You coughed wildly, holding your neck.

"B... Ben?" You stuttered, looking up at your best friend before you.

Ben held onto your hand, breathing heavily. He had blood dripping from his lip, and his clothes were charred.

You smiled, wiping the tears from your eyes. "I'm glad you're okay." You whispered, and Ben shook his head.

"I'm not." Your smile immediately vanished.

"What?"

Ben sighed, looking off at the burning temple. "I'm not okay. I don't think I ever was." He muttered, wiping his bloody mouth.

"I... I don't understand... Ben-" He suddenly ran off, into the woods.

~~~

You never saw Ben after that night. After he left, you thought the worst. That he was hurt, or worse. You waited for weeks, going over every detail of that night, hoping he would come back. But, he never did. Luke had found you and sent you to his sister's, where you stayed for the years to come.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at Kylo... No... Ben. His dark hair fell in his eyes. Ben's eyes were the same as Kylo's, but his were warm and kind, unlike Kylo's now cold gaze.

"Ben..."

"I'm not him anymore." He growled and you frowned.

"What do you mean?" You asked quietly, and he turned to you.

"The person you knew is gone."

"What are you saying? Kylo killed him?" You bitterly joked, and Ben nodded his head.

"I did." You shook your head, dropping your head to your chest.

"No, no you didn't. You are still Ben. You saved me. You took me to safety." You spoke, looking back up at him. "But I know now, I should've seen what you were going through. I'm sorry." You bowed your head, and Ben exhaled sharply.

"No... You are wrong. You did save me." He spoke, and you looked up at him.

"How did I save you, Kylo. You've killed so many people." You whispered, and he turned away.

His mind was telling him to fight, to find Skywalker no matter what and get rid of him. Take over the galaxy. But… His heart begged you to save him. 

"But... That doesn't mean that you can't change... You can still be Ben. I know he is still there inside you. I can help you find the person you once were." You whispered, and Kylo looked at you, tears in his own eyes.

"I don't think I can. I've caused too much anguish and pain."

You sighed, smiling slightly. "I know you can go back to the light, Ben."

He looked away, shaking his head. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

"We can do this together. Like we used to."

Ben stayed silent for a long time, before walking to you and untying you. You hopped down and immediately wrapped your arms around him. He hesitantly wrapped his own arms around you, pulling you close. Leaning down, he nuzzled his head into your neck, wetting your shoulder with his tears. You shushed him gently, raking your hand through his hair.

"We'll do this together."

_________________________________________________

Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like it! I had so much fun writing this. :)

#kylo ren #ben solo #rey #fluff #cute #angst #angst with a happy ending #star wars #luke skywalker #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x female reader #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x female reader #ben solo x you #adam driver

[xsister-serpent]

MDNI 18+, Female receiving, Dacryphilia Big Time, Begging, Female Squirting  A/N: Decided to make a Dacryphilia blurb with Kylo Ren. There's just something about making this man whimper and beg that does things to me. Based on this song. (I need help.) Anyways enjoy! 

Kylo stood outside the door to your quarters. He could sense your presence through the force. He could feel your anger as it grew stronger and stronger.

He could feel every single one of your thoughts and feelings across the ship.

The thought of leaving you here in your quarters was making him uncomfortable. It felt wrong because he knew there was no way for him to help without intruding further.

He paced back and forth as he felt your anger spiking.

“You might as well come in,” You replied taking a sip of your wine. 

Kylo's heart rate quickened as he heard your voice. He took a step towards the door, stopping himself before he could cross into the room. 

Instead, he spoke loudly from the other side of the door.

"What are you doing?"

His tone was still in its usual low and husky nature, but there was a hint of curiosity mixed with concern.

With a hiss, the door opened and he entered smelling the incense of sandalwood lingering in the air.

Your room was dimly lit as you hated the bright white cold lights of the Finalizer. You took a drink as I heard Kylos familiar footsteps enter and the door closing shut. 

“Getting drunk,” You bluntly spoke, “What are you doing here?? Surely there are more war prisoners for you to torture??” 

Kylo felt your words and how you spoke them to be a slight jab at him. He wanted to snap back at you but managed to contain himself. He stayed silent for a few seconds as he tried to think of another reason to have come to your room other than just checking up on you. But for once he fell silent.

Your eyebrows rose as you took a seat in your leather chair across from him, “Oh Gods…have you lost your voice??”

 A chuckle escaped you as you carefreely leaned back into the chair. You were already feeling the slight haze in your mind and the warmth in your chest. Kylo's expression slightly tightened at the sound of your laughs. His silence remained, and he took another step into your room. 

His eyes scanned your body, the way it relaxed in that chair with a bottle of wine in your hand. There was a small bit of frustration he felt as he continued to stare at you, as he watched you further lower yourself into the haze. 

"Stop,"  He finally spoke, his voice still in its usual low and husky tone. 

“You know this is my quarters, which means I have power here,” You stated, “And no, I won’t stop.”

You didn’t bother to understand why he was here. Everywhere you went, he was always there not too far behind. Even in moments like this. It drove you insane, like a shadow you couldn’t shake.

"You're going to get drunk," Kylo's response was short and blunt as he took another step towards you. 

“That’s the point Kylo,” You mumbled as you reached for your wine glass getting another drink, “Why are you here?” 

"I'm trying to stop you from getting drunk-" 

Kylo stopped as he realized just how much he was like a parent at that moment. It made him stop for a few moments as he tried to find another reason to be in your quarters, but he couldn't find one other than the original he had. 

He stayed silent for a few moments as he tried to think of anything to say before he spoke again.

"May I?"

You waved your hand motioning to the wine bottle, “By all means. It’s better than your little taste test of me.” 

As much as you wanted to forget you couldn’t.  The forceful way he placed his hand down your trousers. How his fingers entered your wet folds to coat his fingers. It was like a drug to him almost, the taste of your sex and the scent. He kept his index finger pointed vertically up the cheek and his middle finger brushed against his nose to inhale that scent.

“I don’t even know why I let you do it,” You stated quietly as he took a glass out for himself.

"I wouldn't call that a taste test, more of a", Kylo’s voice drifted as he came back towards you.

Your words struck a chord within him as he noticed the way your eyes narrowed, and your body tensed slightly as you spoke. 

He decided not to continue with his comment, it was trouble enough that he was here alone with you. 

Kylo poured himself a glass of wine from the bottle on your desk, as he then sat down across you in the other chair.

“Oh???” You challenged him with a hint of annoyance in your voice, “Go on say it. I’m curious to hear what you have to say Kylo.”

His eyebrow rose as he noticed the way you were staring at him. It was almost like a stare-down, but he knew he had already lost.

 "What do you want me to say? That I enjoyed it?" He retorted before taking a drink of his wine.

There was a small bit of curiosity mixed with a bit of boldness in his tone. 

“Did you??” You asked in a low hushed voice.

Kylo's entire body frame seized. 

You decided you wanted to hurt him now. You wanted to break him as much as he did you. And in that moment of his weakness, you knew how.

“Did it feel good to taste me? To taste that forbidden fruit? To smell me on your fingers?” 

His eyes remained locked on yours as he sat across from you, as he felt his body tense and his heart rate quicken. You had never spoken to him like this...in such a sensual and provocative way.

"Yes," he spoke simply as his voice turned into a whisper, "Yes it did..."

He would not lie to you or hide any of the feelings about that moment from you, and he was prepared for whatever reaction that you would have. 

A cruel laugh emerged from your lips as the drunkenness as well as this newfound power over Kylo sparked something in you. 

“You’re the worst you know that,” You spoke with a cruel smile.

 Kylo’s eyes didn’t stop following you as you walked over towards him. With newfound anger and lust, you weren’t sure how to differentiate the two anymore, you grabbed his neck slightly applying pressure to him. 

 “You still want that taste?” You asked him seeing his eyes stare back at you with a sort of lovesick gaze. 

"Yes,” Kylo whispered out as you held his neck. His eyes shifted over to your fingers as you applied pressure to him. 

His eyes closed and he bit down on his lower lip as he let out a moan, "More than I could ever say..."

You with the force, grabbed him and shoved him into the wall knocking him to his knees. His breathing became hard and heavy as he was looking at you in a mix of lust and fear. You pulled his collar down to your height as you kissed him deeply with feverish anger. You pinned his arms back against the wall as you invaded his mouth mercilessly. The feeling of your lips pressing against his was driving his heart rate through the roof. A whimper escaped his throat as you broke apart from him sucking in a breath. His pink flushed lips parted slightly as he tried to lick your lips back into his kiss. 

“Beg me to stop,” You repeated to him just as he did with you. 

The way you spoke to him... The way you demanded him...

Oh, how he loved it...

"Please..." He whined to say between gasps as he tried to catch his breath.

The mix of wine and the power you exhumed over him sent your senses afire. Kylo’s whimpering and moans filled your ears as you used more force. You released him from your grip and forced him to kneel with a slight wave of your hand. A strained groan escaped him as he realized you were more powerful than you had been. 

“P-please, I need it, I need you,” Kylo's tone was in a whine as he was stunned by your power, “I don’t care how pathetic I sound! I need you to use me!!”

His eyes were suddenly becoming glossy, almost tearful as his face was now pink and flushed. 

Gods he must’ve dreamt about this You mused to yourself as he was now looking up at you. 

You kept your eyes on him as your hands went to the waistband of your trousers. Kylo’s eyes shifted to your waist as your hands reached the zipper. It was a look of pure hunger in his eyes.

You took off your trousers exposing yourself fully to him. His lips parted slightly as his face was pink, his eyes eager and his mouth ready to please.

This was a different kind of power trip now. And You wanted to fully use it.

You moved in front of him and took a handful of his raven hair pushing his face into your pussy. A ‘Mmphf!’ whimper escaped Kylo’s throat, vibrating it into your core. 

You could feel him whining in pleasure as his mouth kissed your folds. His tongue flattened out as he moved it delicately between your lower lips. 

“Y-you wanted this,” You stifled back a moan feeling his wet kisses and tongue glide into your hot wet slit. 

The sight before him made his heart race even faster, which was a surprise considering how quickly it was already going. He was trembling as he buried his face in you. The moans and whimpers he let out added to the pleasure it brought you. 

Kylo's hands groped at your hips as he begged you to keep him there. He wasn't going to deny your last comment, he did want this, no matter the source and motivation for wanting it.

“I do,” he whimpered between each suck, “Me being down here, while you’re up there. ”

His lips pressed against your folds, and the sounds that were now escaping his throat were not of protest, but pure ecstasy. He didn't want this to stop. He wanted more. 

“I-I can’t believe I’m letting you do this,” You moaned as you began to palm your own breast keeping your other hand firmly on his head. 

 Your slight chuckle escaped your lips that turned into a heated pant. Your eyes fluttered open to glance down seeing his eyes slightly water with tears. His pale skin was now a flushed pink hue as he looked up with desperation.  His tongue moved with ravenous hunger making you feel a shortness of breath.

“G-gods Kylo,” You whimpered feeling his tongue move deeper, “I bet you dreamed of this..”

His eyes stared back up at you as tears fell them, you were in control of this entire situation, and him. And you knew exactly what he wanted. 

"I-I did,” Kylo breathed deeply savoring the full taste of you. 

You sighed in pleasure and slightly pulled his head away stopping him from continuing.

A whine erupted from him as you pulled his head away, carrying a slight strain of your cum on his lips. His lips were wet as was his chin, he looked beautiful.

“Do you.do you love me?” You asked him feeling the buzz of his pleasure from his mouth the buzz of the wine in your system. 

Kylo stared back at you as he blinked the tears he was trying to keep suppressed away. He then gazed back at you with a look filled with love. 

"Yes,” he softly admitted through a few tears, “I love you..."

A faint smile came upon your face and pulled his face back against your pussy once more making Kylo muffle his moan. The moment your hand returned to his back again, his lips started working hard again. Your tossed head back as a groan of pleasure came out. 

“K-keep going,” You heatedly whispered as his tongue moved around, slowly exploring every inch of the wet center. 

His hands kept groping at your hips as he pushed them up, urging you to move even further onto him. 

A gasp escaped you as you felt his face burying deeper. His nose brushed against your clit stimulating you even more. That wave of pleasure was increasing, building deep within you.

“G-gods Kylo,” You groaned feeling your climax bearing down on you. 

 You looked down seeing his tear-stained eyes staring up at you in admiration and lovesick. You sucked in a breath as your felt my chest seize and core tightened against his fingers moved in and out at a quick pace. 

“Give it to me Y/N p-please,” he begged, his hot breath grazing against your bundle of nerves, “Give. It. To. Me.” You were struggling for breath as you felt his mouth encase your pussy once again. His mouth was moving mercilessly against you as his fingers pumped into you. That sweet pressure between your legs was climbing further and further as Kylo’s tongue entered you. Your eyes shot open as you felt your body begging for release. Your hips began to buck into Kylo’s face as he muffled his moans into your folds, that beautiful sound of your wetness on his lips was music to him. He could feel your wetness on his face and chin and the wonderful tenseness of your arousal swelling against his mouth. 

“D-damn it,” You panted feeling him move faster feeling every muscle in your being grow tighter and tighter.

 Your climax suddenly ripped into you causing me to jolt forward into Kylo’s mouth. Your eyes shut tighter as you felt a sudden gush leave you in a loud guttural moan. Your hand firmly rested on his raven locks intertwining them in your fingers. 

“Please!Please! Please!”, his words were a mix of both moans and gasps as he felt you tighten around his fingers, his mouth parted as he saw and heard your wetness gliding out of you. 

Kylo whimpered once again as he felt you release on his face, as your essence dribbled down your legs and onto his mouth. He was drinking up everything that you were releasing, as he heard your panting and the soft grunts he was making himself, it was a pleasure he had craved for a long time now.  As you gathered your bearings and looked down at him. His face was completely dampened now with a mix of your own cum and squirt. He lapped at your clit once more savoring your shaken breathing and taste.

“You’re so pretty when you cry,” You spoke as your hand went to cup his pink cheeks.

Kylo’s head tilted backward as he moaned softly at your words and touch. He was in a state of complete bliss as he felt your wetness spread from his mouth down his jawline and neck. It became clear at that moment you had marked him with your scent, and he relished it.

#star wars #kylo ren #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x reader #kylo ren smut #reader x kylo ren #Dacryphilia Kylo Ren #so this is for all the females who can do this cool little trick #cause im one of them so yeah IT"S COMPLETELY NORMAL