If King Charles dies on or before March 25th, 2024, he will technically be the shortest-reigning king in English history.
Anyway, like to charge, reblog to cast.
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so i recently got top surgery and this was on my discharge papers after a mild complication
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It's me. I'm the distant aunt.
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FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!
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excitedly waiting for this
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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
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FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS
(Free Palestine 🇵🇸)
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nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions
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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.
I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.
One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.
The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?
The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”
I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.
It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.
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Reasons I’ve heard why Princess Kate is “missing” in no particular order:
• BBL
• facelift
• prepping for going on The Masked Singer
• growing out a bad fringe
• mental breakdown (possibly due to William knocking up Rose Hanbury)
• going on drag race All Stars (courtesy of Bianca Del Rio)
• they’re getting a divorce
•induced coma
• she’s straight up just dead and the royals are just digitally “weekend at Bernie’s”-ing us
• she’s moved to a small town and has met a man who doesn’t know she’s a princess and is teaching her the real joy of Christmas.
• she’s recovering from abdominal surgery on medical advice (booooooo)
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Three darling daughters #girldad
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I once had a landlord offhandedly mention that his mother had set this house on fire before. He and his wife lived on the first floor, and i rented the third.
Apparently his mom didn’t like his wife. So she set their house on fire. The house i was living in.
He assured me that everything was fine now and that this was years ago, just kinda laughed, smiled, and said ‘You know how moms are’
Yes. I know how moms are. I know how fucked up moms are as well. I have known many fucked up moms and fellow children of fucked up moms.
Attempted murder through arson is not typical mom behavior, even for a fucked up abusive mom
Oh, and his mother lived next door 🙃
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Finally watched the Addams Family Values recently! and honestly. my main takeaway is
Debbie slays. And Joan Cusack is a QUEEN
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Klimt + The Addams Family
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