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rinharu-purple · 4 years

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Mr. Love MC’s Choice: Gavin

We fellow producers all have our favorite LI in the game for whom we save our gems and dates, replay their chapters over and over again, sucking our bank accounts dry during the process. And that’s what makes this game so fun! However in my opinion MC’s personal choice is Gavin. I will try to explain it as thoroughly as possible in this post. Obviously they are only my personal opinions at the end of the day so please don’t freak out if you beg to differ ^_^

There are spoilers ahead and this post is a long one, you were warned!

A big, warm hug and grandious thanks to @smallersocksx for proof reading so fast and sharing her ideas! <3 </p>

Up until now, I’ve always analyzed ships in subtopics, so this time won’t be any different so I will just dive right into it:

Body Language

The law of attraction between two people in a romantic way has some thumb rules, one of them is that when you like someone then you try to touch them at every opportunity. From all of our LI’s Gavin is by far the one with the most body contact to the MC (The main story only atm, I will come to his dates in a minute ;)). I think the anime speaks for itself, in every single Gavin episode and some of other LI’s episodes (ahem…ep 10 but also ep 11…ahem) Gavin and MC are always in an embrace or a meaningful “hands-on” moment…In the game MC and Gavin are quite often touchy with each other, MC seems to not holding her hands back every time she feels like Gavin’s hurt and reflexively touches him, she is also highly concerned about his hair since every time his hair get messed up by the wind, rain or hormones (swh ;)), MC doesn’t waste any second before correcting his hair. Every reunion they have results in MC reaching out her hands towards Gavin and surprisingly never other way around. Even in a perillious moment in chapter 22 when Gavin goes completely wild and unleashes his “beast-self” the first thing MC wants to do is embrace him. In chapter 24, at the very end among all routes, MC only tells Gavin that she’s missed him and hugs him. Chapter 27...again MC wants to check Gavins body for injuries and tends to them the second they are alone in a closed room. They both yearn for each other’s touch all the way, no matter in which narrative.

If I were to start counting Gavin’s touchy touchy moments on the other hand, then we have to prepare a 4 volumes encyclopedia because that male individual is all about touching MC. Another hint for their closeness is that MC makes notes on Gavin’s scent quite often, mostly related to his jacket or his embrace and while doing it, she always uses adjectives like “clean”, “distinct” or “unique”. Again in ch. 15 she knows its Gavin standing behind her even without looking, because she senses his scent: “A scent that I’d recognize anywhere”. Surely there are many scenes, where MC holds hands with another LI or makes a remark of their scent, but they are not at the intensity or frequency level that of Gavin’s.

2. The Setting

All four LI’s are representing a certain archetypes women are usually attracted to:

Kiro is a pop idol (target audience 13-15)

Victor is the young successful businessman with a high dominant demeanour and Mr. Grey-ish attitude (target audience 25 upwards or any 50 shades of Grey reader)

Lucien is a young attractive professor with a mysterious and enigmatic vibe (target audience 20-24)

Gavin is the misunderstood bad boy (high school) and later a righteous police officer (16-19 for the bad boy Gavin and 20 upwards for the righteous police officer, special agent, military commander... a pilot?! anything including a uniform fetish)

So, in the game, Elex could take any of these paths and develop it in a way that the chosen path becomes a true love story. I gotta admit, Victor’s story comes at times very close to being one. However, his never-ending bickering and belittling in his 90% of the time cold demeanour just make him lose major points. Plus, MC mostly goes along with Victor’s tone, even though she is a kind and friendly person, she bickers with Victor not because that’s her personality but because that’s the way she can cope with him. If only he were a little bit less domineering.. Which is why I never feel like MC and Victor would belong together irl.

Seemingly Elex and Mappa take Gavin’s way imo. Because…

In the main story MC loves all of the LIs in a different way and also has romantic feelings to each one of them to a certain degree, but when we look at it closely and read in between the lines of MC’s thoughts Gavin is a little bit more romantically portrayed than the other guys.

a) First of all Gavin had a crush on MC during high school cannonically: Even though Gavin only says that it was a farewell letter, MC says once that she wishes that she could’ve read that “love letter”. I will stop here with Gavin’s feelings because this post focuses on MC.

b) MC, too, was kinda into Gavin during high school because in Episode 18, when she goes to Loveland Hugh during her farewell tour before going with her ultimate sacrifice , she remembers Gavin in intimate things like “watching his athletic body” or “wearing men’s clothes-meaning his-”. Additionally she remembers taking note of his face shining in the sun in the very back of the line during her recital. Even before it all she was specifically interested in him. Her memories with the other LI s are comprised of rather friendly moments like flying kites together but when it comes to Gavin she once again thinks about more intimate elements. Not to mention that the game gives MC a farewell with Gavin. In her final moments she only thinks that for Gavin her grievance would be the hardest. In the End of the Abyss era (ch. 15-18) MC meets all of the LIs after their changes again and reacts to all of them with joy…surely, but only when she sees Gavin hovering above her in the helicopter it is again…drum roll…drama: “The next second I saw a pair of amber eyes…shining like brilliant skies” this girl is always romanticizing Gavin.

“-Can you hear me?

-Can you see me?

-See my heart pounding again at the sight of you?” (so are you saying that your heart wasn’t pounding before? oh ok ;))

Fast forward to CH34 where MC fights Leto for the final time and remembers our guys and again, while she remembers other LIs for their sacrifices and their protection of her, she remembers Gavin's warm arms...

c)The game takes his time and turns the half of a whole chapter into a date in chapter15 Ep 1-9. There is no other chapter in the game where MC spends time with any of the other LI’s in which there is only the two of them, whereas nothing relevant to the main story happens and they share solely many sweet, romantic and almost hot (when MC tries to dry Gavin’s face in her flat and realizes that she stands way too close to him, she then prepares herself to say something, but gets interrupted by the alarm) and again, MC is getting close to Gavin, not the other way around like Lucien pushing MC against the blackboard, that little sneaky Lucien (actually I could write a post with a masterlist of Lucien’s advances to MC:D).

d) MC’s premonitions revolve mostly around Gavin (when they are not about the whole world or the black queen). Her dream about the rooftop rescue, her Room 404 dream, her daydream in the office in 6-13 in which Gavin’s suffering and from which she wakes up crying out his name leading to Willow, Kiki and Anna remark on playfully how unfair it is to dream about Gavin and disregarding the other guys. She also sees his future in episode 15 twice! If I am not mistaken, she only sees Victor’s future once in her dream and a vague vision of him in ch 18 but other than that she has no premonitions about Lucien or Kiro. Besides in the anime MC uses her power unintentionally yet instinctively twice while having Gavin in mind in episodes 5 and 8. The third time, she uses her powers in this way is in episode 11 with Victor but he is not her driving force for this but she is driven by the imminent danger they both are in and she doesn’t particularly think about Victor at this moment. In the game it additionally happens in chapter 22 when Gavin is cornered by the mechanical arms and is in a tight spot, this sight makes MC have a surge of rage and to unleash her powers in a great magnitude. Gavin is Queen’s soft spot i.e. More importantly Gavin is a constant part of MC’s future frame. She has her visions about other LI’s past but when it comes to Gavin it’s only his future. MC doesn’t have visions about Gavin’s past, like, ever. While Kiro, Lucien and Victor are stuck in their pasts with MC, Gavin has made peace with his past, is living in the present and looking forward the future (one of his best qualities imo, not being stuck in the past). Ironically, it’s MC, who’s stuck in the past in Gavin’s case.

e) I will intentionally not delve much into S2 stuff, but one thing has to be in this post…We know that in S2 MC goes back in time and relives the last 17 years. During these 17 years she makes sure to spend her high school years close to Gavin. So given the chance to rewrite her past, she would choose to make good for the lost years that she regretted dearly in S1 (she gushes out about her regrets in S2 Late Autumn Date in detail). We are yet to find out more about the nature of their relationship during high school, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a “will they, won’t they” situation. Since the game wouldn’t put any of the guys in an ex-boyfriend role, that would be the most romantic frame possible.

3. How other people see Gavin x MC

f) In CH 36, the one before CH 37, where every LI gets the same intimate moment with MC, only Lucien and Gavin are getting close to kissing her to which MC doesn't show any rejection towards... She is the one accidentally kissing Gavin btw and this is the only time before CH37 that MC either accidentally or willingly kiss any LI on his face or near his lips.

g) In S1, MC only posts two pics with the boys in her moments. One of them is a selfie with Lucien and the second one is with Gavin, hugged from behind. No other LIs ever have a moment with MC. Neither on their accounts, nor on MCs.

It is always a good indicator to look at how other characters perceive a particular ship. For Gavin and MC, it is almost obvious that once they are standing side by side, others see them instantly as a couple. Sure, at the orphanage some children ask Lucien if MC is his girlfriend or that one actress threatens MC to stay away from Victor because he’s hers (btw what happened to her?) With Gavin however, it’s practically a running joke.

As mentioned above, her once daydream in the office with Gavin shoutout in CH 6-13 drew the attention of her co-workers, leading them to mock her for thinking about him too much even though her dream was rather a nightmare. Besides, Gavin is the one showing up the most in MC’s office and he also lift her up to his shoulders once in the Visiting Hours date and Homer took a pic of that hilarious moment.

Every time MC is at STF HQ, respectively, Gavin’s co-workers or subordinates too take note of her presence and in chapter 12 they are even caught red-handed by one of the agents as MC is busy “correcting” Gavin’s hair (because see point 1). Eli seems to be aware of the intimacy between the two and even probably assumes that they’ve done the deed, because in ch 12 he is surprised to hear that MC hasn’t seen Gavin’s wound yet. He presumes that she already saw him naked…oh Eli! Season 2 has even more eminent scenes, we just have to wait and see.

In chapter 15 when they deliver Perry to the hospital, they are mistaken to be his parents by the hospital personnel not once but twice! Needless to say, they don’t find it necessary to correct the misunderstanding. I mean Perry is, what, 6…MC 22, Gavin 24 but they automatically think that they must be the parents?! Sure thats common sense- wink wink nudge nudge ¬‿¬ -

In chapter 22 Shaw makes a comment on MC willing to go to where Gavin is with a “Really, all you do is following him, isn’t it?”. He uses MC to trigger Gavin in Airport date as well.

And of course, there is Minor…The ultimate number one wingman and the most original Gavin-stan! Minor uses everything in his power to bring them together both in the main story and in dates. He even calls her Sis-in-Law in public in CH 35 which MC doesn't reject. This doesn’t even need explanation.

Last but not least:

Their couple chemistry went viral lol.

Visually speaking, when they stand side by side, for me Gavin and MC look the most like a couple (Kiro is too childish and fashion icony compared to MC and Victor is too mature and business attire-ish making him look like her uncle rather than boyfriend, Lucien is the only one besides Gavin who actually suits MC visually). I am not saying that looks are the main indicator btw so don’t lynch me please ^_^

Come to think about it, MCs life is intertwined with that of Gavin's the most. Considering how she knows his father, brother and colleagues and spends so much time in "his world" whether it's at STF or NW. In the main story MC and Gavin have their favorite restaurants (ehm it's never souvenir due to obvious reasons 😉), share the same passion for music, have many common memories from high school and most importantly their world views are very similar. Both are prioritizing others safety over themselves and are compassionate for anyone who is in need. They are both ambitious and hardworking but not to the point of being power driven. Both are humble and finding hapinness in the smallest things. Maybe that's why they say the same things simultaneously or say the things the other would say simultaneously. MC and Gavin are highly compatible and have a harmonious, healthy relationship despite the conspiracy around them.

4. Anime

Okay okay, listen…Yes, the anime wasn’t the best adaptation and many of us were disappointed by the ending (including me), still, the anime makes a part of canon MLQC universe and no Gavin-stan should complain about the anime because the anime put canonically Gavin on a pedestal. In a total of 12 episodes, all guys had 2 episodes each BUT Gavin was actually blessed with 3 episodes and so many romantic moments to count…let’s count them anyways :)

Mappa introduces all guys in episode 1 so MC encounters them all in the first 25 minutes but she first meets Gavin in episode 2 and the two spend almost the entire time of the episode together, not to mention the extremely romantic first-fly scene in the sunset. As I mentioned in point 1, MC and Gavin are always in physical contact in any given episode. Anime made sure to portray every single interaction they have romantically.

They even went so far to mix Gavin scenes in other guys episodes (he offers her a ride to work in ep 3, she has an emotional moment with him after the first shooting misunderstanding while Lucien is standing right next to her in ep 4, Gavin is the one to catch MC mid-air in ep 10, this episode ends with them in their life and death embrace falling down in dawn… and then he falls on her in ep 11).

When it’s a Gavin episode MC has no romantic scenes with any of the other guys, let alone having any scenes at all. Its only about Gavin in Gavin episodes. Also, the storyline is edited in a way that between MC and Gavin a romantic story develops. Their meet cute conspiracy, their misunderstanding with Lucien, followed by the “drop the senpai” offer and finally that 5 seconds long gaze deeply in the eyes in ep 8 while holding hands.

It is really sad that the anime ruined this development in the final episode but taking into consideration that there might be a second season, they probably chose to make the change in Gavin’s character after the NW project remarkable.

Another point in the anime is that they kinda exaggerate Gavin’s Evol a little bit. During his stand-off with Lucien Gavin’s bullet cuts through Lucien’s shield and all in ep 8,11 and 12 there is a significant emphasis on the intensity and destructive power of Gavin’s Evol. I mean, whose Evol is the most upfront one in episode 12? We see Lucien using his Evol only twice, both very briefly, Kiro/Helios/Key and Victor even have to use guns to protect themselves and/or MC. Gavin’s shown using a pistole once at the beginning, after that it’s all turbines and tornadoes and just Gavin unleashed.

I think it’s an exaggeration because in my personal opinion, Lucien is actually the one with the strongest Evol, followed by Victor and then comes Gavin. Lucien’s ability to copy an Evol is simply the strongest trait one could have, sure it comes with the downside that he then doesn’t have enough time and focus to excel in any of those Evols, Victor can literally create black holes are you kidding me?! But because his Evol has its limits it puts him in the second place. But in the anime, Gavin’s Evol is extremely powerful and destructive and they also created some really cool scenes in which Gavin uses his Evol in various styles (accelerating his bullets speed, dodging a bullet, lifting MC in any and every situation, flying- obviously- and sometimes just overpowered destruction).

But in the anime in comparison, Lucien looks like a copy-cat of Evols and Victor like someone who travels through time to find out nothing can change the course of events (on a side note I will never understand why did Mappa toned down Victor so heartlessly, he is a powerful character and has countless sweet, emotional moments with MC).

5. Dates

I left dates to the end because they are highly subjective and don’t belong to the main story. NEVERTHELESS, Gavin’s dates include here and there some hints which may indicate that MC tends to like Gavin maybe just a little bit more. I will just add it as bullet points here since I’m pretty sure that the list will be enriched over time.

Slightly drunken date: Shouting out loud in public “Gavin! I’m crazy for you!”

When the Galaxy Falls Date: “...and in that moment, I make an eternal vow in my heart. To give all the blazing love and the most endless warmth to the person in front of me. Standing on my tiptoes, I carry a heart which is filled with courage to move forward, receiving Gavin.”

2 become 1 date “No matter whether the wedding is real or fake I only want to be your bride.” Here comes the Groom event where MC had a prob wedding with each and every LI but she actually only wanted to be Gavin’s bride (obviously Gavin’s heard her loud and clear since he’s bought a gem/ring right after) and that gem is brought up in…

The Returning from Afar Date - Thank you for silently watching over my mood. Thank you for always returning to my side no matter where you go. The white muslin drifts to and fro. My heart stirs, and I gently touch the muslin in front of me. Sunlight streams in. My fingertips brush the soft white muslin, tracing the word “Gavin” on it. I turn my head to the side, blinking at Gavin a little playfully. “This word - apart from it being your name, it also has another meaning. It’s “courage”. MC getting poetic, but who wouldn’t in that date (thank you @smallersocksx for reminding me and without @cheri-translates we poor Eng-server players would be left in the dark so thank you for translating season 2 for us!!!) but than MC verbally and literally makes her feelings clear in…

Late autumn date (2nd season translation by @cheri-translates) “I close my eyes, holding onto his solid arms. I lift my head to welcome his lips, savouring his unique breath. The person in front of me has shed off the roughness of youth, leaving behind only the purity of youth. He often makes me forget that he once used to be unrestrained like the wind. He has a body that is stronger than everyone else’s, a tough soul, a will that is as firm as steel, and a heart full of tenderness – it is soft beyond compare.

I cling to his waist tightly using my calves, wanting to brand every part of him into my heart.

“I want to bear his everything.”

Gavin: “Do you like it?”

“I like it…I like it very much…I like it so much that I don’t know how to prove how much I like it” “The rest of my life is yours, The years that we’ve missed out on are also yours” (whatever I have, I will give it to you. I will give everything to you, leaving nothing behind)

I rest my case

#mlqc #mlqc gavin #mlqc haku #mlqc bai qi #mlqc baek gi #mr love queen's choice #koi to producer #studio mappa #elex #papergames #mldd #analysis #tag your otp #romance #anime couple

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we-always-hit-our-ass · 4 years

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Cold Mornings, Warm Nights (Ronald Speirs x Reader)

a/n- alriiggght second fic and this is one is just an idea that i’ve had. i really like the concept and stuff and im just so happy to write it

ay yo @radiantcade, this one’s for you 💕❤❤

Description- Who expected that the intimidating and ruthless Ronald Speirs would indulge you in tender embraces during cold nights in Bastogne. You could die happily in his arms, and you wouldn’t care. But the attitude he gives you in the morning has agitated you for a while now. You decide to confront him during one of your late-night rendevous.

Words- about 4.5k words (oh wow)

Warnings- Vulgar language (it's speirs and it’s me who’s writing it…), fluff, and implied smut

ig just a teensy bit of angst (if you squint real hard)

and also a bit steamy but nothing too graphic, no worries

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pic’s not mine btw

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No amount of training could have prepared you or many others for what happened at Bastogne. You’ve earned your right to say that you have been through hell and back, but Bastogne…

Bastogne was…

Worse. It was way worse.

The ringing in your ears never ever really left after the German have decided to shell you guys for who knows how long. Day and night, and when you finally thought they would just leave you the fuck alone.

There it was again.

Brief moments of the bombs hitting the snow and even some of your fellow paratroopers flashed between your mind, and you physically recoiled when those moments would happen. But that moment when you saw Guarnere and Toye on the ground, unmoving and having lost a leg.

You broke. What you really weren’t expecting was that Ronald Speirs was the one that mostly restored you to your past self. For a guy who was rumoured to be cold-hearted and emotionless, he just seemed so goddamn sweet to you.

You could never thank him enough for him letting you stay in his foxhole or him visiting you in yours on those cold, snowy nights. The nights where the thoughts of your friends dying from the German artillery pestered you the most.

It’s surprising how the man would actually seem to comfort you whenever you were going through nights like this. Strong arms wrapping around your body as you cried and whimpered into his neck.

Ron would run his calloused hands through your hair, undoing the ponytail you always put your (H/C) locks into.You, in return, would lovingly caress his face and arms. Sometimes gripping them to let you know that he was actually there.

Soft kisses were always planted on you, and a hum of content would leave his lips whenever he did so.

The first thing that Ron would always do, was to pull down your collar and scarf to expose your neck. You whined from the cold but immediately stopped once he’d start to nuzzle his nose on it. His strong arms would cage your body against his, his hold on you tightening every once and awhile.

You reminisce on the times you would boop his nose, and he would respond with a soft, deep chuckle before he would once again attack your face with brief and light kisses.

One of your favorite memories were the times you would tease him, your clear giggles causing him to have butterflies in his stomach. Then he would sweep you up, bridal carrying all the way to your foxhole.

You were still positioned in his lap, warmth erupting in your cheeks and you’d skim your fingers to feel the stubble he grew in your time in Bastogne. Soft ‘I love yous’ were said until you fell asleep, a small reminder on how much you were devoted to one another.

You never failed to pass out peacefully in his arms without an adoring grin on your face.

As you fell asleep, he would just unknowingly wrap his arms around you tighter, and he would always stay a few minutes awake just to make sure that you had truly fallen asleep.

Ron would slowly brush away the stray snowflakes that have fallen on your peaceful face and soft (H/C) hair. He’d let his hand linger for a second too long and he would slowly observe the slight pink tinge of pink on your cheeks, his lips curling up slightly. His gaze on your peaceful gaze never falters, and another gentle smile tugging on lips as he intently watches you.

The moon shines between the branches of the trees and illuminates the bodies of the paratroopers who were trying to get as much sleep as they could before the chaotic events of war happen again. The sounds of your steady breathing lull him to unconsciousness and the grip on your hands loosens up just ever so tightly.

The slight smile on his face still resides even as he passes out with you in his arms. On other nights, you two would have small, sweet conversations (not really since you did all the talking).

“You know I love you, right?”

You would tired say, words muffled by his chest. He knew you didn’t need an answer, for you already knew that he harbored a bottomless ocean of love and affection for you.

He was a man of a few words, but he repaid with his gentle and tender cuddles. They were worth more than 1,000,000,000 words to you.

That’s why all he could offer was a nod. A tiny gesture of agreement. You really didn’t mind how he would only give a small, subtle nod. No words could describe how much you loved each other. And that tiny nod was all you needed at the moment.

While you huddled against each other, the events of yesterday’s horrible events seemed so distant when he held you. Other nights, you two would just gaze at the moon.

“I will always love you... To the moon and back.”

Ron would say into your neck, his soft air tickling your cheeks. His only words for tonight. Your (E/C) eyes focus on the bright moon above your heads, a smile creeping its way to your parted lips. He would wrap his arms around your waist, offering you warmth in your tiny foxhole. Warmth that no sun could offer.

You were a tad bit sad about how you couldn’t see the stars since there was too much smoke in the air from the endless shellings the German attacked you with. But you supposed the gleam and stars in his eyes would suffice. They were much better anyway.

Once again you would fall out of consciousness with you tangled in each other's arms. Your much smaller hands interlocking with his.

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That was the Ronald Speirs you knew. And that’s why you were confused to see how quickly he manages to change his attitude. How come he decides to always flip his attitude in the blink of an eye?

The moment the sun rises up on the horizon he turns from a doting lover to an absolute stranger.

Memories of those evenings seemed to be unreal in comparison to his harsh attitude in the mornings. They were the complete opposite of each other and it made your head spin just thinking of it.

You supposed that it was good for his reputation, and that it would make sure that soldiers would follow his orders.

He verbally told you countless times that he actually enjoys the fear he projects onto others. That it helped him to command others and that by being intimidating, it would put them in their place.

Yet, you still hated it.

The icy, cold gazes he lands upon you in the morning only seem to confuse the hell out of you. Those gazes make Bastogne feel like a humid, tropical island rather than a frozen hellscape.

So you kept asking yourself, what about what happened the night before?

The night where he ever so tenderly scooped you up into his arms and whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to you until you fell asleep?You figured that he was the devil in disguise. A very, very handsome disguise.

You’d sit in your foxhole when you weren’t busy, taking off your helmet and throwing forcefully across from you, the dull thud echoing throughout the small space.

You’d ball up your fists before rubbing your temples and running your cold hands through your (H/C) hair as a feeble act to calm yourself down. As the day passes by and when the snow keeps on falling, your slight bitterness for Ron always seems to disappear when night comes.

His icy glares also seem to melt away when the sun sets. Quiet footsteps and the crunching of snow alert you as you turned your head up to look who was approaching your foxhole.

You knew it was him… But you always have an overwhelming urge to catch a glimpse of his face every second you get. Your gaze travels up his body as he stands at the edge of your foxhole, straight, handsome face and all.

He silently jumps in your foxhole and you instinctively scoot closer to the dirt wall to your right to make room for him to sit by you. As he crouches his way towards you, you can’t help but notice the distinct twinkle in his eye whenever he’s around you.

You really wanted to stay mad at him for his stupid and confusing behavior, but the way his lips stretch into that achingly beautiful smile… How could you even really stay mad at him when he does that?

Your cold, dainty fingers reach up to take his helmet off. The pale fingertips of your hand touch the cool surface of his helmet as you gently take off his helmet. Slowly pulling it up to reveal soft locks of short, black hair.

You’re once again mesmerized by how the light from the moon reflects on his face and body, almost giving him an ethereal glow. Your chapped lips stretch into a small, playful grin as you set his helmet down on the freezing ground of your foxhole. Ron settles in the small space next to you, instantly giving your body warmth.

Then the thoughts of the way he bumped into your shoulder without as much so as giving an apology in the morning hit you. It is only in the mornings in which he acts like this.

He acts like a prick, ignoring you when you coo his name, nudging you off his shoulder every time you try to embrace him, and telling you off every time you say adoring words in his ears.

Your soft voice would call out to him to ask him what you did wrong, but he completely ignores it and acts like he doesn’t care before walking away. Leaving you in the forest with nothing but the trees to keep you company.

You couldn’t describe how much it infuriated you. You’ve always wanted to talk about, maybe bring it up to him just once. But when you see him crouching near your foxhole at sunset, the sky darkening and hiding you two in the cover of darkness.

Every word you were going to utter gets vaporized, and the annoying actions of his in the morning disappear as well. You are only left in utter bliss as you melt into his arms, and you’d forget how much you wanted to confront him.

Not today, though. You already had enough.

If the constant shellings and death didn’t make you snap, his ever changing attitude definitely would. You open your mouth to address how he’s been acting towards you during every single morning.

The mornings after you’d embrace each other at night. The nights where he’d hold you in his arms until you fell asleep. But you closed your mouth in an instant, hoping he wouldn’t notice. But he did.

“(Y/N)?”

Your (E/C) swiftly glance at him before quickly looking away. You scooted a bit farther from him. You really didn’t want to deal with him right now, but you had the overwhelming urge to speak to him.

“What?”

You quietly seethed. Your eyes widened when you realized that you accidentally made those words come out harsher than you intended.

“(Y/N)... Tell me what’s wrong. Tell why you’re suddenly acting like this.”

You didn’t hold out your annoyance on your response. You huffed and your breath became visible in the cold. You narrowed your eyes slightly as you furrowed your eyebrows to look at him.

“Acting like what, Ron?”

“Like a child.”

He really went down that route, huh? You, acting a child? (E/C) eyes widened for a second before narrowing again. Your breath hitched as he said that and you took to angrily biting your chapped bottom lip.

“How come you think I’m the one acting like a child? Considering what you’ve done, you’re the one that’s acting stupidly!”

“You’re going to wake up the whole company, hell, maybe even alert the Germans while you’re at it.”

“Don’t you dare shut me up, Ronald!”

You couldn’t give a damn if you were going to wake up every single breathing thing in the vicinity. Right now all you cared about was giving Ron a piece of your goddamn mind.

Ron still stared at you, trying his best to look indifferent. But you could see the way his jaw was clenched, with tense shoulders, and slight laboured breathing. You tried your best to look like you weren’t affected too. You failed miserably.

You knew each other like the backs of your hands, things could barely slip by you two and every single movement was noticed. So you felt just a bit foolish when you’d tried to hide things from him.

Ron couldn’t help but notice the way you were also tense. It was obvious, the things you do.Like nervously pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Your chest heaving up and down from your outburst and small visible breaths pulling from your lips while you weren’t biting down at it.

You did your best to muster up all your courage and just hate him for the time being. You tried, you really did.

Was loathing him a difficult task?

Yes. Yes, it was.

Your eyes would involuntarily soften for the quickest of moments before you would quickly try to mask it by narrowing your eyes once again. Ron would always catch those beautiful (E/C) eyes of yours mellowing up. Whether it would be for a millisecond or for 20 years, Ron would always catch the warmth in your eyes that was only held for him.

He goes to move towards you but hesitates for just a moment. His eyes dark back between your face and the ground. Ron’s lips purse before he looks over to your face to speak to you.

“Y/N... Bab-”

“Don’t bring up that baby bullshit with me, Ron. If you aren’t going to do that in the morning then don’t do it at all-”

“That’s what you’re upset about?”

Suddenly the thin shell that held all your pent up frustration cracked, and you responded the fastest you ever had in your entire life.

“Of course that’s what I’m upset about! How come every night we do this, the next morning you’re giving me the cold shoulder?”

While chastising him for his mix-matched personality, you failed to see the amused glint look flashing through his hood, onyx eyes. Ron smirked lightly and unknowingly moved closer to you with each word you fired his way.

“You cuddle me and say that you love me but it sure doesn’t damn seem like it!”

You rant as you gesture wildly with your hands, his smug face only angering you more.You put on your highest voice and mocked the man who was literally 5 inches away from you.

“I love you (Y/N) this, and I love you (Y/N) that. Here’s a suggestion. How about you fucking act like it?”

You leaned back forcefully to the dirt wall of your foxhole as you roughly slam down your hands on your lap.

It was a fucking miracle that no one put up their heads and told you to shut up yet. You inhaled a couple more breaths before deciding to talk again.You took a deep breath and finally mustered up the courage to directly look in his eyes for the first time this night.

“Can’t you see that it’s driving me mad, you idiot-”

Before you could even continue to scold him, a familiar, deep and husky chuckle enters your ears.

“So you think it’s funny,” You whisper.

“So you think it’s funny, huh?”

You repeated, only louder and emphasis on every single word.

“You really think it’s all a joke?”

Disbelief was all you could feel, the biting air no longer seeming to bother you as you took in the resonating sound of his laugh he did mere seconds ago.

“(Y/N), listen-”

“No. No more excuses, I should’ve brought it up ages ago, but-

“Oh for fuck’s sake- Just listen to me, (Y/N)!”

You were used to him raising his voice, but that statement was spoken with such force and authority your lips closed almost immediately. He scoots closer to you, your noses almost touching now. His calloused hands reach up to grab your shoulders while you gazed at him intensely.

It was deathly silent, the wind whooshing and the occasional snore from one of the paratroopers were the only noises in the snowy forest.

The firm grip he had on your shoulders loosened up and his furrowed brows and eyes soften. He drops his head down to look at the frozen, dirt ground as his thumbs stroke the tepid fabric of your uniform.

“Please…”

That was the only word he could gather, the soft way in which he had said it showed you how desperate it was. You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding and decided to calm down to finally listen to Ron.

Seconds pass after you relax your stiff posture and your shaking hands instinctively stroke his short, soft hair. Your cool fingertips cradle his head as you trace your finger on his jawline. Your hands continue to slide against his slight stubble and chilly skin like you always did.

“Tell me, Ron… Why are you treating me bad?”

“I don’t trea- I don’t… I don’t…”

Ronald Speirs, stammering and failing to find words like a new replacement? No one would believe you if you would have told them this. The way you still held his head in his arms couldn’t have been described as nothing more than affectionate and loving, but you continued to question him.

“So how come you treat me like shit every morning? After the things we do…? After you tell me you love me?”

“It’s just that… I don’t know how to act... The men see me as intimidating and I need to keep that image up… If they see me with yo-”

“So you’re saying you’re embarrassed to be seen with me?”

Ron went stiff and his mind flew to think of a reason that would diffuse the situation. Can’t you see how much he absolutely adores and loves you with all his heart?

“It’s not- (Y/N), you know that’s not what I think.”

“Then what do you think, Ron? Just tell m-”

And just like that Ron quickly delved down to capture your lips in a kiss before pulling away, instantly stopping you from fully asking your question. The air is once again silent, widened (E/C) stare at hooded, onyx eyes in surprise and shock.

As you opened your lips to whisper something to him, Ron, just as quickly as before, dived to press his lips against yours. You were rigid, but this kiss was nothing you two have ever done before. It was needy, deep, and passionate.

Your body eased and pushed yourself forward to deepen the kiss. You groaned softly as he ran his skillful hands through your hair like he always does. He sometimes gently pulled at the roots, eliciting more groans into the kiss, and the air would quickly become heated.

The kiss was only broken for a few seconds before you’d start all over again. Each kiss became more feverish and vehement than the last (if that was even possible).

His hands pulled themselves out of your hair to slide its way to your hips, his strong grip making itself known as he pulled up you to sit on his lap.The never-ending round of kisses excited you and you longed to feel his soft lips on yours. Sleep be damned, this was all you needed right now.

While his hands stroked and gripped the soft flesh of your thighs, hips, and sides through the layers your paratrooper uniform offered.

The dark fabric of your uniform felt paper thin in his touch, as you could clearly feel the warmth his hands exuded as he trailed his hands up and down your body.

Trails of goosebumps was what he left in his wake, the fuzzy in your stomach arising from the compassionate touch.

Deciding to make use of your non-occupied hands, the once stationary hands found a way to wrap against his neck, urging him to kiss you deeper. You’d rub your hands on his neck then trailing them down and up his body in a similar fashion he caressed yours.

Mimicking his previous actions, you’d pull at the short hairs at the back of his neck, a low moan was pulled out of his lips. Encouraged by this, you’d then grip Ron’s broad shoulders, holding him still as he relished the touch and taste of your sweet lips.

Softly pulling away, you gazed lovingly into his glassy eyes as he did to yours. Your (E/C) eyes looked down at his pink lips, slightly swollen like yours from the kissing before looking back up.

Your laboured breathing filled the empty space and the loud pounding of your heart never seemed to slow down. Minutes that seemed liked hours passed before any of you two did anything.

Your feverish forehead was resting against his, your eyes now resting on your hands woven into his. His thumb rubbing soothingly against your palm and the thick, warm air was replaced by the cold one of Bastogne.

“Ron?”

“Shhh…”

He shushed, his pointer finger pressing against your lips. This time you let him shut you up. Ron leaned slowly this time, not at all like the heated kiss before. It was soft and slow this time, giving you time to relish the vulnerability you two shared at the moment.

You could feel everything in this kiss and it was only now that you noticed his hands were fondly touching your thighs, the pant fabric doing nothing to hide the tender touches on your body.

You reluctantly pulled away, pouting slightly at the lost feeling. His beautiful face was now focused on yours, the glazed look in his eyes still lingering.

“Ron… Promise me you won’t treat me like that in the morning anymore. I can’t take it…”

“No promises.”

“I’m serious, Ron.”

You hardened your gaze, letting him know that you were completely serious. Your hands dropped from their place wrapped around his neck as you placed them on his chest.

“Ron, just know that... Whether you’re being bitchy or not, I will always love you. I always do...”

Your breath tickled his ear as you leaned in close to whisper them to him.

“Good.”

Beautiful pink lips tug into a sincere smile as he took in your flushed features. The argument was long forgotten and pushed to the back of your heads. He pulled you into his arms once again, a touch you never see yourself getting tired of.

Warm lips press against yours after Ron pulls you deeper into his embrace and you let yourself get lost in the feeling. You could never stay mad at him for that long anyway.

-----------------------------

You sighed blissfully into the air, your chin resting on your hands as you relaxed in your wooden chair. The memories of what you two did in that foxhole on those nights still made your cheeks burst into flames.

A smile finds itself on your lips as you absentmindedly drift off to the days where you and Ron would do nothing but throw love in each other’s way. You twirled (H/C) strands of your hair idly, cheek still pressed against the surface of your palm.

Nimble fingers dance across your skin as you trail your hands to rub the tender skin of your neck and in other places too. Purple marks blossomed on your soft, (S/C) skin, and you couldn’t help as warmth spread to your cheeks and face.

The window in front of you was open, sunlight illuminating your features and making the diamond ring on your finger glitter like a galaxy. (E/C) eyes look over lovingly to your husband on the other side of the room.

Short, black hair still messy from last night’s activities and hickies were visibly poking out from under his collar.

He turns just in time to see your love-struck expression and a smirk was all he could offer you.

You snapped out of your daze as you hear the dull thumping of footsteps on the floor. You shake your head to clear your mind but you were only confused as the object of your affection was no where in sight.

“Ron-”

“What are you staring at, (Y/N)?”

A familiar, husky voice interrupts you and a small yelp comes from your lips as you jumped slightly in your chair, hands gripping tightly at the edge of the wooden table.

The yelp was replaced by a clear laugh as Ron picks you up to twirl you in the air. Ron looked at you in adoration, his eyes taking up the dazed look you still had in you (E/C) eyes.

Ron loved you so fucking much.

It was almost unbearable, but whenever Ron sees your gorgeous face, or hear your snarky comebacks and light laughs, he couldn’t help but fall in love with you again and again.

Ron repeats the action for a couple of times before setting you down on the hardwood floor of your house.You stand at the ends of your feet to place a quick peck on his lips, and your heart flutters to see a small smile blooming after the small deed.

“I’m only looking at the most beautiful being in the entire universe, Ron.”

“I think that would rather go to you.”

You raise your hands to cover your warm face, eyes watching through the gaps of your fingers to see his next move.

“Stop, you’re making me blush.”

“And when have I haven’t?”

There is absolutely no possible way for a man like Ronald Speirs to exist. You weren’t complaining though. You were glad you met this stunning, yet sometimes infuriating man, even if you met in unfortunate circumstances.

Giggles fill the air as you feel strong arms lift you up to a bridal carry. His arms support the underside of your thighs as he holds you delicately. Ron’s dark eyes examine your beautiful features before heading to your shared bedroom.

“Ron- Put me down! Where are we going?”

“I believe we still have some unfinished business from last night.”

You shivered as you saw the mischievous shine his now hooded eyes. He still manages to carry you in his arms as he quietly shuts the door behind him, making sure nothing will bother you two for the next few hours.

What you were going to do without this man, you didn’t know.

-----------------------------

ahhhh im finally done! im sorry if i have any mistakes, i didnt proofread lol

i honestly like this fic and im living for it, but idk if its ooc

@radiantcade, i hope u and everyone else enjoy and like this fic 💕💕💕

i got another fic in the making, stay tuned loves

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skunky2 · 5 years

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Top 11 Worst Cartoons of the 2010′s!!

We had so many great cartoons introduced in this decade and while I haven't seen every last one I can say this decade was one of the best for animation in general! Sadly for every good animated show produced in this era there are also some bad apples in the bunch the following cartoons are some of the worst I have seen but please remember this is only my opinion if you like any of these shows then that's great continue to enjoy them don't let me stop you!!!

Now let's get this list started!!!

11. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs the series (2017-2018)

Ok before we talk about the show I want to make one thing clear I don't hate the films in fact I actually find them enjoyable even going as far as calling them guilty pleasures the show on the other hand is a huge flop compared to the movies were the films had creativity and fun humor the show lacks that in fact this is by far the most boring show to be based on a freaking film about an invention that makes it rain food!! The other problem I have with this show is it's set before the events of the films so Flint hasn't even become an inventor yet but instead it's about him in high school and apparently him and Sam knew each other already did they even watch their first film!? Also the mayor is the principle because why not seriously this has got to be the worst show based on a hit animated film it's so painfully unfunny that I question how kids found it entertaining to begin with!!!! Not every movie needs a tv series and this one proves it!

10. Total Dramarama (2018-ongoing)

Oh the pain to see the Total Drama series downgraded to this especially since the original Total Drama Island took a ton of risk for a show aimed at kids also how did we go from a series that spoofed reality shows to a bad Muppet Babies rip-off!! What's really sad is that creators have no desire to produce a new Total Drama series they just want to work on this. On the plus side it's still not as bad as other shows your going to see later on the list.

9. Super Noobs (2015-ongoing)

Other then the "how do you do fellow kids" title I wasn't expecting this show to wow me considering it was brought to you by the same dude that brought us Johnny Test aka the original most hated cartoon of all time I got the DA pics to back me up! The worst part is this show has a very interesting concept but it's ruined due to the bad humor and characters. The show is about a group of outcast middle schoolers who receive super powers in the form of power balls from aliens who then become their mentors and how they must save the world from an evil virus that threatens the world sounds like an awesome plot too bad it's not pushed further.

8. Almost Naked Animals (2011-2013)

Yes this is a children's cartoon not a title for an X rated film. All I can say about this show is why? Why would anyone greenlight a show about an animal nudist hotel not only is it disgusting but those character designs yikes!!!! They look so ugly looking no one wants to see something that looks this hideous!! Not to mention the humor is just as terrible as the art design.

7. Breadwinners (2014-2016)

You know when you feature twerking in your show you automatically fail. The best way I can describe this cartoon is it's just awful first off the two idiot main characters who I'm not going to refer by name since they are some of the most stupidest names for characters seriously SwaySway and Buhdeuce!? Anyway the show is about these two "ducks" I say ducks like that since they look nothing like ducks they look like frogs or aliens or something. Try to make your character if they are an animal try to look as close as possible as the species they're supposed to be so it will make it easier for you audience to identify them. Well they fly around in a rocket car or something I really don't care and deliver bread to stock-image ducks which brings me to another problem they can't even draw background characters they just go on Google find a duck photo and photoshop cartoon eyes and whatever on it how lazy a can you be!! Also I found out a long time ago your actually not supposed to give ducks bread yeah it can use malnutrition and illness to them so this cartoon is spreading the wrong message to kids.

6. Brickleberry (2012-2015)

You know why I despise most adult cartoons because most of them are either trying way to hard to be quote on quote "adult" with overuse of swearing, gore, shock humor, and sex jokes and guess what this show is full of this!! Not only is the animation similar to that to Family Guy it's just as disgusting and offensive!!! The show revolves around these park rangers and their everyday lives at their jobs and the characters aren't very good either they are pretty much all assholes, stereotypes of usual characters you see in adult animation, and your typical characters that are just there to offend you! In fact the little bear cub character is pretty much the shows answer to Brain from Family Guy with the personality of Cartman from South Park. Now I haven't seen this show in a long time but I just remember it wasn't a pleasant experience if you want to check it out just be warned it's not for the faint of heart. Also the creators of this show produced another show for Netflix that is just a carbon copy with cops instead of rangers and I though that Seth McFarlane was lazy when it came to plots!! It's called Paradise P.D. btw

5. Teen Titians Go! (2013-Ongoing)

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah you've heard it all before this show is garbage, a disgrace to DC comics, stupid etc. The animation community has tore this show apart so there really isn't much to say that already hasn't been said but I will say this I never intended to hate this show as much as I do in fact I was fine with it when it fist came out I mean the original Teen Titians cartoon from 2003 will always be better then this show in every possible way but I wasn't one of the fans to jump on the hate wagon when this was announced I mean I had nothing wrong with it just focusing on comedy if you remember correctly the original had eps that were just as silly and bizarre. The main reasons why this show is so high up on this list is for the following reasons the first is I've never seen a show like this disrespect a fan base this much it's like the creators have it out for the original fans and they get joy out of mocking them with all these pathetic critic call out eps they do it also shows that they can't take criticism at all!!!! Second is how the creators view their show and animation in general they literally came out in an interview and said the reason why they made the show so stupid is because it's for children you do know kids aren't stupid right guys they deserve shows that don't try to talk down to them!!!! But the main reason for my anger towards this show is how they made an episode awhile were the moral literally was that cartoons are only for kids and told the original fans to grow up!! Mainly the creators themselves have this warped mindset that I honestly wish would just die out that only children should be allowed to watch cartoons and that their show should be immune to all the hate since it's for kids so they use the "just for kids" excuse for their show being like it is. It's hard to believe they would even have a mindset like that when they are adults themselves making an animated cartoon show. I didn't mean to rant this long but I mainly hate everything this show stands for and sadly it's going onto to get 300+ eps. Personality I really think it's time for this show to officially Go not because I don't like it's mainly because it's showing signs it's on it's last legs and with that Sixth Titian thing they pulled this summer and repeating episode plots is starting to show that the writers are becoming burned out this show was never good but I think it's time it ended. There are tons of other reasons this show is bad but I rather not go into them this has gone on long enough already.

4. PPG 2016 (2016-Ongoing)

Well TTG isn't the worst reboot/spinoff Cartoon Network produced in this decade the honor has to go to this piece of trash Powerpuff Girls 2016!! Why was this made simple CN wanted more money so they made this show to sell toys yes that was the only purpose of this reboot to sell merchandise too bad the show sucked so hard that the target demo along with the fans of the original Powerpuff Girls hated it! There are tons of problems with this reboot that have already been explained such as god awful animation errors, bad writing, and let's not forget the memes those outdated memes. Not to mention they removed the character Ms. Bellum since the creator thought that having a beautiful, warm-hearted, motherly, intelligent and strong-willed woman on the show was offensive to the new generation! Not to mention they got rid of breast but they did allow the girls to twerk tho!!! Yes because having an intelligent good-looking woman with boobs is bad but kindergarteners doing a sexually explicate dance is fine!! Seriously I feel so bad for Craig McCracken it was bad enough he was screwed over by Disney but to have his show turned into this!!

3. The Problem Solverz (2011-2013)

If you want to know my opinion for the worst animated show Cartoon Network has ever made it would be this one! Not only is the show ugly to look at but it uses enough bright colors to make your eyes bleed. The show is about these detectives who solve problems in their home town too bad they cause 90% of the problems they need to solve. These characters are so nasty to look out we got this ugly fish-like man, some robot, and a big nosed hideous lipped Domo wannabe. It was cancelled from tv but ran it's final season on Netflix. I still feel pain for any child that had to sit though this.

2. Pickle and Peanut (2015-2018)

Ugh this show!!!! If you've never seen it you may guess this would be something on Adult Swims line up since they're more known for wired shows like this but no it's not from Adult Swim in fact you'll never believe who made this Disney!!! Yes Disney Television Animation produced this the very same company that bought us shows like Gravity Falls, Phineas and Ferb, Star Vs. and so on made this garbage. There are several problems with this show first off the animation remember when I said that Breadwinners was lazy for using stock-images as background characters well this is the same damn thing but in reverse they couldn't even animate a pickle and a gosh darn peanut this is a peeve I have with most modern cartoons if it's not for a joke then why use stock-images it just makes your show look lazy! Second the humor it sucks it's mainly is "trying" to be Regular Show since both characters are slackers and get into bizarre adventures. Also this show loves to show gross-out shots like the ones in Spongebob for example but unlike Spongebob these are not funny and just plain disgusting like how is this show fun for kids to watch I mean I can understand why kids love cartoons like TTG but I can't see any child liking a show like this!!! Finally we have to talk about the god awful theme song it's not even a theme song but a random robot voice listing off things adults think that children are into so pretty much they're trying way too hard to appeal to kids just like with PPG 2016. There really isn't much more to say about this show it's just awful and it's still hard to believe Disney had a part in making this.

Now it's time for the cartoon from the 2010's that I believe disserves the crown as the worst show from this decade. Out of all the shows I've seen this year none of them of completely disgusted me more then this one it pretty much has everything I despise in modern adult animation it makes Brickleberry look tame in comparison!!! It comes to us from our friends at Adult Swim may I present to you the cartoon that I consider the worst!

1. Mr. Pickles (2013-Ungoing)

I honestly don't know where to start on this one it's just god awful!! First it's got all the things I despise in adult animation shock humor, sex jokes, violence for the sake of it, and ugly character designs!! The show is about a family who owns a dog who is either the devil himself or one of his loyal followers and the dog does extremely messed up things to people stuff I rather not try to remember let's just say this show is MA for reason. If you have a faint heart please stay away from this show at all cost!!!

So there it is my opinions for the worst shows from this decade I hope you all enjoy it since I worked really hard on it.

I didn’t include Big Mouth or Paradise P.D. because I’ve never seen them but yeah I know they’re bad.

#top list #cartoons #my stuff #just my opinion #I'm going to make a best list soon #worst cartoons #ttg #cartoon network #nickolodeon #adult swim

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isitandwonder · 6 years

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Okay, because some people asked, here is my totally subjective and way too long story of the Beautiful Boy premiere at LFF, hoorray!

I got rambling so if you are interested read below the cut.

I attended with @natures-cunning-ways (who kindly got me a ticket), @stakemyentirelifeondreams @lovetheawesomeness @raraadsel and @redtulipslove - you were all amazing, ladies!

As it was my first red carpet event ever, I’m so grateful to @raraadsel and @redtulipslove who tried to get in touch with the BFI to find out about the proceedings. I didn’t even now there were proceedings, I just thought one turns up there with a ticket and Bob’s your uncle. Ha, I’m so naive!

No, to get into the pen (I learned a new word) at the red carpet you needed wristbands - which @raraadsel and @redtulipslove kindly organized on Saturday morning. But sadly they couldn’t get them for everyone, so I had none. Well, I didn’t think that a problem because then I would just stand behind the barrier... hahaha!

When we arrived at Leicester Square at about 3 pm we were send into the little park in the middle by one of the security guys.

There, we met a bunch of lovely Italian fans ( @thecosmicfragment90 and friends). It was so good meeting you, guys! Seriously, I was absolutely overwhelmed. Thank you for all your kind words!!! You were amazing.

But no one there knew what would happen until a lady started to shout numbers. Apparently the numbers on the wristbands. Who that lady was - no idea. But as we were in England people started queueing up. I stayed with my group, just chatting. After a while, cohorts of about twenty people were kinda let into the pen. I say kinda because it wasn’t really clear where to get in. Anyway, I just kept on walking, let the security guy search my bag - and in I was. The perk of being a respectable looking middle aged woman? Who knows.

Then the waiting began. But we had so much fun! Everyone in there was just nice and friendly. We started talking to fellow fans. @redtulipslove found her new calling in being a freelance BFI PR agent, giving information about the film and the actors to passers-by who asked. A scientifically conducted survey revealed that only 2 out of 10 people knew who Timmy was... even the security guys send people over to her to explain what was happening. You really should apply for a job with the BFI!

We met so many incredible people there: For example a girl who had never heard of Timmy but was there for Steve and was in tears for just being there and getting the chance to see him. Or Sara, an American exchange student who happened to walk by with a group of friends and asked who was coming. When she heard Timmy she almost started crying as well and told us that CMBYN had changed her life. She decided to stay but sadly security wouldn’t let her into the pen. She tried to stay behind the barrier but they were told to keep walking as not to block the square for pedestrians. In the end, I said I would try to get Tim’s autograph for her. That’s why I didn’t take any pictures when he arrived, I couldn’t hold the book and a camera... sadly, it didn’t work out. So sorry, Sara!

But now I was glad I smuggled myself into that pen. Otherwise, I would have been separated from my group and would have ahd to stand somewhere really far away...

Okay, so we were chatting, joking, killing time when at about 4:45 people started arriving. The first I recognized was Felix, who came up to where we were standing and signed stuff. Then Steve arrived and the screaming started. He posed for the photographers and also started signing.

And then that floral beauty arrived.

By that time, there had been more barricades set up down the square. People were everywhere. And suddenly, security opened the barricades behind us - which they had so sternly guarded before - to anyone. I heard a lady behind me inside that pen, where I had waited for 2 hours and others since the morning, ask: “Who’s that boy?” She didn’t even know Tim but was now in the pen, while a girl who’s life had been changed by his performance was forced to stand somewhere in the square, unable to reach out to him...

And then the hyenas descendet. Not fellow fans, but professional autograph hunters - easily recognizable because of the piles of perfect photographs they carried for Tim to sign. Piles! They just started crushing into us. All men, btw, shouting and shoving. I elbowed one away and he looked at me as if I had grown a second head. I hate these people, who make money with other people’s obsessions. They just want to sell the autographs on ebay. Fuck you! There’s a special place in hell for people like you, I’m sure.

By that time, Timmy had spent so much time signing somewhere down the barricades that he ran out of time on the red carpet. He came near but then had to walk over to the press. And as we had tickets for the film and had been told to be inside the cinema by 5:45, we had to get out of the pen.

But we walked the red carpet right behind where he stood giving interviews!

I heard later that he went over to the fans again after doing press and signed more things and took pics. And that he handed out cinema tickets! What a gem.

From what I saw of him when he came near - he looks exactly like in all those pics for real. He’s just incredibly nice and friendly. Goofy. I mean, all that running and turning on the red carpet... But he also seems relaxed, normal. Not ‘glamorous’ - just an approachable nice guy. I wasn’t even nervous. I thought I would be shaking but it was just all relaxed. From what I saw and heard, everyone was respectful (apart from those autograph fuckers). He looked well-rested as if he’d slept (yep, that were our biggest concerns: Did he sleep? Did he eat?)

Inside the cinema, shortly before the film started, Tim, Steve, Felix and the producers and writer came on stage and answered a question each, asked by the festival’s president (sadly not Nic and David Sheff who were there as well). Timmy really stood out in his flower suit between all the other men dressed in grey and blue and brown... it’s so good that he just goes for it!

To me, it seemed that Steve got more applause, maybe because he’s still better known than Timmy. I just remember him saying that he loved working with Tim, that it felt like Timmy was his son.

Then they left and the film started. I was told later that they were driven off to attend some other function (maybe another Q&A and then the Inheritance premiere party?).

I’ll write about the film in a seperate post. But it is really, really good, so much better than I thought. I really didn’t have any expectations after the trailers and some reviews - but it turned out to be very special, at least to me.

Afterwards, on our way out, we met the lovely Italian fans again who told us what Timmy did outside and that he had left. I really hope you guys enjoyed the movie! For anyone who wants to get Timmy’s attention, it seems to be a good idea to tell him you came all the way from Crema (thank you for the inspiration, Stephano!)

When we eventually got out, the red carpet was gone. Leicester Square looked like it always does, bustling with people. I might have dreamed everything but thank god the others assured me that the afternoon did happen.

So, that was that. If you want to see pics, @albionknight took good ones from near where we stood. It was an amazing experience - seeing Tim in the flesh, meeting fellow fans, the movie, London... I’m so glad I did it. Thanks to everyone who made this possible!!!

If you have any questions, just ask... not that I remember much, writing this down shows me that I probably forgot many things (for example what Tim said before the movie started...)

Tagging @beyondbakerstreet @ladyblakeney25 @tequilatuesdays4all @backofthepostcard @missmuffin221 @mylastvow @yvaine24 @maraskolnikova @wannaseeamonkey @mysteryofcharmie because you asked :)

#bb #timmy #lff #london

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prydon · 5 years

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a ( VERY LONG) long island geek rundown

aka me just rambling on about paul for paragraphs upon paragraphs, complete with pictures.

so i went to the con with the lovely @haiileyrutledge aka maggie who drove me all the way there from the philly bus station (god bless), it was our first time meeting in person and i still can’t really believe we did this just a few months after we were just kinda joking about going together on twitter when we hardly knew each other

literally the first second we walked into the con, before we’d even gotten our badges, paul mcgann was sitting RIGHT THERE at his autograph table and i may or may not have started aggressively hitting maggie in the shoulder and freaking out and hissing “he’s there, HE’S THERE” and she had to drag me past him so we could get our badges

then we sat in on the panel before his to make sure we got good seats for his. it was a panel with wendy padbury and frazer hines and they were adorable!! by the end of their panel we were literally buzzing tho bc we knew what was next

when paul came in the first thing he did was squint up at the ceiling and complain about the brightness of the lights, like “oh this is quite harsh isn’t it” so they turned them down for him, much to maggie’s chagrin bc she’s a photographer and it made it very hard to take nice photos (look forward to her uploading her photos btw, she got some GREAT shots regardless of lighting)

then we all sang happy birthday to paul, per the interviewer’s instructions! it was v cute. someone uploaded a video of it on youtube. (i took one too, but it was much worse quality)

first question the interviewer asked was what the secret to paul’s eternal youth was, which paul took a SUSPICIOUSLY long time thinking about before finally just claiming it was his insomnia. how not sleeping is supposed to make you look better i have no idea, but it’s clearly not hurting paul’s appearance, despite him “not having slept since the nineties” (his words)

and so on went the panel. it was quite fun, and though i’d heard almost all the anecdotes paul told before, they weren’t ones he’d told a million times and the interviewer asked interesting questions about his brothers and some of his earlier roles.

he also asked him about holby- the most recent episode, even- which i was not expecting lol. he asked paul if gaskell was really dead, and paul was just like “lol it’s a soap, who knows what could happen” and joked about another soap character whose death had turned out to be a dream.

also of note is that paul never called gaskell by name once and exclusively referred to him as “doctor death” lmaooo. i actually know why this is- he mentioned on a radio show a week or so ago that a holby city fan yelled “doctor death!” at him in the street once- but he didn’t....explain this background to the panel audience, so i’m sure many were baffled by it :”D the interviewer was like “so your most recent role, professor john gaskell-” and paul was literally like “ah, yes. doctor death!” asoifjsaij what a dork

^ this pic is actually from the sunday panel but god, actual dork with a heart of gold paul mcgann being juxtaposed next to menacing shots of “doctor death” was never not hilarious

speaking of holby, I GOT TO ASK HIM A QUESTION DURING THE Q & A, and i asked him what it was like working with guy henry! he said working with old friends is tough bc they know all your acting tricks lol. he went on gently roast guy and say he’s looked like he was 40 since they were at rada and that one of their professors told guy that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t find real success until he WAS like 40 bc he just had one of those faces, and lo and behold, that was case. notably, paul said all of this while holding eye contact with me since it was my question, and i was literally trembling by the end of his response bc i can barely hold eye contact with my family members let along PAUL JOHN MCGANN

he also said “fuck” at one point. at another he pulled the cap off his water bottle with his teeth and maggie and i were both like...*sweating*

after that we got our photo ops! then managed to get some food in us, and then i went to get paul’s autograph and give him his bday gift, which i already detailed here [x] so i won’t get into that. notably he also called maggie photogenic and said their photo op looked like a housewarming photo of a couple just moving in. we were both dying afterwards.

theeeen that evening i attended a dinner party for fans with vip passes that the stars also attended! the food was v yummy. there was ice cream too.

unfortunately i didn’t end up at paul’s table, but i was at the table next to him so i may have eavesdropped. my table had jon davey, who plays cybermen and daleks and ood etc, and who was very funny and decidedly attractive, and who at one point pulled out his phone and showed me this video while nearly dying of laughter over it

paul was actually late to the dinner because he crashed a painting panel!!

^ here’s him painting his tardis picture with his dorky ass reading glasses on. what an old man. i love him

he did show up eventually, and ended up drinking a decent amount of red wine and i’m pretty sure got tipsy and at one point misheard the person next to him as saying “penis hands” and was like “penis hands???? PENIS HANDS???”

all my table ended up leaving early but paul’s all stayed hanging on his every word bc that’s the effect he has on people :’)) so i ended up scooting over there just to listen. at one point his assistant came over and whispered to me that paul HAD gotten the letter i gave him with his gift and he WOULD read it tonight and i was like “omg no it’s ok, i didn’t need him to reply asap or anything, i just wanted him to have it!!”

i left the dinner when paul left- his table were the last ones out- and maggie was outside the dinner waiting for me and may have collapsed into a fit of giggles when she saw paul. then we went to our airbnb and fuckin CRASHED because we were so damn exhausted

on to SUNDAY

i started placing bets on what paul would be wearing that day on sunday morning, since i know he only has like three different con outfits that he wears. lo and behold we get to the con and he’s wearing THE EXACT SAME CLOTHES AS SATURDAY. like, down to the scarf and shoes. they were 100% the same.

idk why he was, but he must have washed them, or he must be an ethereal being incapable of sweating because he was just as nice and fresh as the previous day [shrug]

we wandered around the dealer’s room for a bit, maggie bought a vinyl from a charity sale booth and i bought a couple dwms with bb eight on them bc why not

my lovely internet friends and fellow paul superfans @savageinkspillage and @paulmcgannlesbian both paid me to buy them autographs, and i was happy to oblige because it meant i got to talk to paul again

i went up to his booth and he said “good to see you again!!” and told me he was so touched by the birthday card :”0 and thanked me again for the drawing!

i told him what names to sign to for the autographs and there was an incredible moment where i told him to address one to “brittany” and his brain like. short-circuited and he tried to spell it out to me except he spelled it some ridiculous white mom way like “B-R-I-T-N-I-Y” or something and i just stared at him for a moment not sure if he was fucking with me before being like “.....no?”

once i told him “two t’s” he got it and said “like the place!!” and asked me if i knew where brittany was in a stern teacher voice and i was p sure it was france but not 100% so i was just like “d-don’t quiz me”

he also let me take pictures of him holding the autographs that i could send to my friends, which was very sweet!! here’s him with @savageinkspillage‘s.

he was very determined that we let them dry before taking them because he didn’t want them to be smudged, and blew gently on them himself like a dork.

before we could go, he also fully just was like “give me a hug” and got up and hugged me AGAIN. THREE PAUL MCGANN HUGS IN ONE WEEKEND. T H R E E.

then after he hugged me he noticed the bowie vinyl that maggie had just bought in the dealer’s room and was like “!!!!!! is that a vinyl!!!! can i see!!!”

maggie was like “of course” and handed it over and he was FAWNING over the thing and promptly informed us that it was definitely an original print bc it was made of a special sort of material only used to make records in the 70s, and that it had never been played. maggie said she got it for $10 and he was like “TEN BUCKS??”

he also sniffed it because apparently “that’s what you did with vinyls” and took it out of its sleeve (with maggie’s permission) and freakin’ messed with it to show us how bendy the materal was before giving it back to maggie and emphatically telling her to “treasure that”.

he asked us where we got it and i said it was at a table in the dealer’s room, next to where they were keeping his painting from the night before. upon hearing about the painting he was immediately like “noooo don’t remind me of that!! i’m so ashamed!!” and i was like “WTH PAUL NO IT WAS SO GOOD”

here’s paul’s painting!! it’s lovely!!

also at one point maggie’s hoop earring fell out and full on, like, made a break for paul mcgann and rolled behind his chair. she was embarrassed but he just picked it up and messed with it, feigning putting it on his ear and saying he wished he was a girl so he could wear earrings like that and i was like “you should get your ears pierced!” because he SHOULD. he just laughed.

we literally had a whole, like, probably 10 minute conversation with him and he was just so lovely and funny and warm and thanked me one last time for the drawing before we walked away soasifjsaoifj

THEN it was time for his sunday panel!! it was a great change of pace from usual panels, it was called “doctor’s orders” and run by a podcaster who’d based it on advice columns- basically, he asks paul a bunch of questions looking for advice that he’d gathered from fans and paul had to impart his wisdom.

here are just a few choice tidbits from the panel:

q: what do i do if my boyfriend never puts the toilet seat down? paul: get rid of him

q: there are beehives in my house, what do i do?? paul: don’t kill them!! bees are our friends. move out. let the bees have the house instead

q: boxers or briefs? paul: briefs. *pointed look at audience* some of us need the support.

he was asked the trolley problem and said without hesitation that he would move the trolley to kill the one instead of the five. he also endorsed stealing from businesses to feed the hungry (unsurprising because *cough* he’s a socialist). he revealed that he shoplifted all the time as a kid as a right of passage in working class liverpool and asked the audience to raise their hands if they’d ever shoplifted. when a decent amount did, he called it a sign of a healthy society. he doted on his sons quite a bit which was adorable, and said he was the “soft touch” when they were growing up while mum was bad cop.

at one point he said if liverpool won the premiere league he’d “sit naked here in front of you” and then immediately was like “...i don’t know why i said that.” the audience was roaring with laughter the entire time. it was legitimately the funnest panel i’ve ever been too :’0 and we had front row seats!!

at the end, the host opened the panel up to the audience to ask their advice questions, and maggie asked one about how to survive while studying abroad in london next year. paul gently ribbed her at first being like “well, remember to sleep and eat” but then reassured her “you’ll be fine” and i could physically feel her melting beside me.

after the panel he chatted a bit with the women next to us, who i know to be old guards of paul mcgann fandom. i didn’t hear much but i did hear paul refer to “that brexit shit” lol.

the last time maggie and i saw paul, he seemed to be leaving the con and nearly tripped over a remote control cybermat on the way out, which was cute.

all in all...i really don’t have words for how amazing this was. i couldn’t have asked for a better environment to meet my favorite actor in, and i have gained so many wonderful memories that i can’t even keep track of them all, and i can’t wait to do it again.

#personal #li geek #paul mcgann #i am sorry about the obscene length of this lmao #but did you guys really expect anything less from me #also sorry the font on my blog is so small #ctrl + might help you read

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killianmesmalls · 5 years

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FINALLY!!! My con recap is... long. And I’m wordy. And it’s long. BUT IT’S HERE! Below the cut for anyone who is crazy enough to read it all.

Friday:

By the time the weekend really got started, I had already had the chance to meet up with @lillpon Wednesday evening for a last-day-at-work happy hour and then again when she, @justmilah, and @fraddit came over to my place to hang out, watch Once, and put the totally last minute touches on my Tilly cosplay. (Also, BTW, yes I am using nicknames because 1) I figure it’s easier for people to follow along and 2) I don’t know how much some people want their real names to be attached to fellow crazies and sent into the ether.) We ended up venturing down to pick up the car from my father-in-law, and on the way found a meeting place for @queen-mabs-revenge to gather with us. Now, we couldn’t find her, kept checking to see where she might be, when LO, HERE COMETH A TINY ITALIAN IN A BIG MCFRIGGIN HAT. Yes, she was indeed sauntering down 8th Avenue in her Lt. Jones hat, which was probably the 18th weird thing most passing New Yorkers had seen in the two hours since they had woken up.

We then all tackle each other and me, @fraddit, @justmilah, and @queen-mabs-revenge continue on to meet my FIL for the car, where Mabs was super on board with helping him trek stuff from the trunk back to his apartment after seconds of meeting him. Such a polite. Without much ado, we make our way to the middle of friggin nowhere New Jersey, aided by the very comforting fact that Mabs navigates the way I need to be navigated to. Much thanks. Many appreciate. Wow.

Our first stop once we go around in circles a few times since driving in Whippany itself is a damn adventure was to meet up with @thesschesthair. While Mabs is confusing the front desk dude with her hat, Chesty over there gives us a call and I sneak out, lock eyes across the dingy parking lot of the Red Carpet Inn, by its derelict diner, and leap into her arms. She then comes over to attack Milah and Fraddit before properly grabbing Mabs so hard they were close to osmosis.

I’m not going to lie, it’s at this point through to Monday evening where things sort of blur. Mabs and Chesty requested rooms beside each other and GUESS WHAT. Yep, you guessed it, they had rooms that actually were connected by a door that was hidden behind Mabs’s oversized fridge. Oh! And there was a random toilet just hanging out outside their rooms. Because, why not? When Puh Pah has to go, he has to go. Also, it’s here that Mabs gives us all Alice-themed totes from Poundland (YES, LAUGH, IT’S GREAT) and then we do roundabouts again to get to the Marriott where the rest of us are staying.

Registration was a breeze, and then we collapse into the lounge area where we meet up with @theonceoverthinker and an already-registered Chesty, where she and I are off to the side making inappropriate jokes and then deciding it’s time to wine o’clock this con. Guys? The pub in the Marriott got some play by the Pirate Crew (thank you, @freifraufischer for dubbing us all as pirates), we tried their Poisoned Apple sangria, shot the shit, and then went about checking in and getting ourselves settled while at various points meeting up with @captregina, @lillpon, and @freifraufischer.

At some point (again because all is a blur) we went to Chris’s Q&A where I asked him a couple of questions and honestly blanked on most of the experience because OMFGITALKEDTOSMEE. Then Jared came on, was very much however you’d imagine Jared being, and I was still very much focused on Chris saying how much Smee would love Alice and knowing that Colin and Rose day was tomorrow.

Afterwards, we got autographs, where Mabs’s delightful totes came in handy and I had Gil, Chris, and Jared sign the back of the Alice tote. Gil was nice and I complimented Jared on how much him being open about anxiety meant to people, but it was Chris that, to me, was the MVP. He was incredibly personable, funny, and a total teddy bear. I asked him about the blooper he was in where it seemed like Smee was trying to convince Hook to not duel with Ahab (the one where Colin spat in his face) and Chris said he honestly forgot what was happening in that scene, but he would ask Colin. Still, the one thing he did remember was when he knelt down in front of Colin in the post-duel “Congratulations, Captain, you won!” scene, he split his pants. The camera was to his back, but his treasures were on full display in front of Colin.

I also asked Chris for a hug because, I mean, YOLO, and he obliged! Honestly, he’s a damn pumpkin and I adore him.

Now, there was karaoke night after this, but some of us were bad idea bears and decided to say “f--- this” and went into the pool with some sea salt gin Mabs had brought over. We’re super classy, guys.

...What happens at the pool, stays in the pool. :P

Saturday:

OMG COLIN AND ROSE DAY! COLIN AND ROSE DAY! COLIN AND ROSE DAY!

I was legit saying this and hopping up and down I don’t know how many times. I focused most of the morning trying to make sure I had myself together, getting my tights ripped just right, getting my hair done, venturing to @captregina’s room so I could do her hair (where I met @brave-lassie), doing her eyeliner, doing my makeup, meeting up with everyone, and trying to contain my feelings about COLIN AND ROSE DAY!!!

I missed most of the Wild Bunch Q&A in my efforts to get ready and in waiting for Rose’s photo ops. I lined up with Capt just by where the actors enter into the room they do the photo ops in and got my very first in-person look at Rose.

Guys.

GUYS.

That precious angel GLOWS. I cannot say enough how adorable and lovely she looks and is in person, but I will try my best. She’s insanely precious. Honestly, I was probably a walking hearteyes emoji. I try to keep my cool as I wait for her in line, where I’m set to get a picture with her than a shared picture with her and Capt, and the moment she sees me in my Tilly cosplay she exclaims, “NAILED IT!” Then, like a spastic idiot, I told her I couldn’t help myself since she’s my favorite, and she said, “You’re my favorite!” Bless her. She’s insanely personable and tilts her head to you, and is a personified cupcake.

After that, I brought Capt in for a shared picture with her, where we handed her my bunny mask and Rubik’s cube I had made with the help of Lill as we (plus Milah and Fraddit) had lounged on my couch Thursday night. She geeked out a bit over them, I asked her which one she wanted to hold, and she chose the Rubik’s cube, I held the mask, and Capt and I held a pillowcase she had gotten a while back that said, “We’re all mad here.”

Rapid fire they then did Colin and Chris photos followed by Colin and Rose, where all of us collectively lost our minds throughout. There are some pretty stellar ones people got with Colin and Chris, and then OMFG KNIGHTROOK.

Not going to lie, I kind of blanked on it a bit. I just remember saying “hi” to them both, taking a photo in the middle of them, and then ushering in PERFECT TACO HAT LT. JONES MCMABS in for the second photo, where I pulled a crazy face and she pulled that cheesy salute in that pic of him and Bernard.

Then was Rose’s Q&A, and as you can tell she’s still the embodiment of sunshine with a dash of silliness. I must have had a massive smile on my face the entire time in between bouts of laughter.

Before her panel ended, they called for Colin photos, which I needed to get to early because I had Rose’s meet and greet, but HELL NO WAS I MISSING ANY OF ROSE. Nope. So I stayed, then dashed out, and totally thought I’d be fine because…hey, I had already met and touched the man, how hard could this be?

BEING A NORMAL HUMAN AROUND HIM IS IMPOSSIBLE. I just hope I didn’t sound too much like an idiot when I said another hello and asked, “Do you mind if I give you a hug?”

Tired panda just opened his arms and we took a quick picture, and his face was SUPER CLOSE TO MINE and I didn’t know what to do with myself and suddenly that scruff was AGAINST MAH FACE. I think I entered a new plane of existence at some point but remembered I had feed and managed to use them to walk out and not completely venture to a new reality.

It was probably a good thing I didn’t have time to transcend to nirvana because ROSE’S MEET AND GREET WAS NEXT. It got off to a late start since Emilie was still in the room when we got up there, but I’d wait howmstever long for her.

SHE IS AN ANGEL. I mean, absolute, 100%, grade-A, undiluted angel. She makes an effort to engage with everyone and really make eye contact with you, speak to you for as much as she can, and is just naturally her sweet and funny self. She then took selfies with everyone, where I told her my name was “Carrie, like the movie” which is my default at Starbucks because then people know how to spell it. She fake scared and pretended like she was ducking her head and going to walk out, which we shared a laugh at before our picture.

I missed most of Karen David’s panel, but right afterward was COLIN!!! Tired panda did his best to wake up and be his silly, smartass self, bless his heart. I’m so glad he said he wished there were more to the KnightRook story because he feels like there’s more to explore with that and HARD AGREE, COL! Also massive, MASSIVE shoutout to Overthinker for her crazy awesome questions!!! You are indeed worthy of being his favorite!!! Also, props to @the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt for her original question about craft services. Dudes, the things we don’t think about!!! I need to try a grilled cheese with pickles now, that sounds AMAZING. OH! OH!!! AND HE DID THE WORM! AND SANG! How were we this #blessed?!?!

We then had a hot minute (or roughly 30) before KNIGHTROOK PANEL!!! Guys, those two and their dynamic will never not kill me. THOSE TWOOOOOOO!!!! HOW PERFECT ARE THEY?!?! I think their humor together is priceless and she’s like a damn coffee bean to him. It’s a good thing I like odd things because I CAN’T EVEN WITH THEM. (:smirk:) AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH he goes and kills us with his Millian answer and I see Mabs and Milah vibrating into the ether.

After that is almost immediately autographs, where they had us line up for Colin then head over to Rose. They tucked tired panda behind this black curtain, and Mabs, Capt, and I coordinated getting various things signed for us and others. When I told him something was for someone who had contributed to the Whitecaps charity, he replied, “Oh! Very good.” Then he got my spyglass and went all childishly curious, peeked inside the box, then raised his eyebrow and gave me a smirk.

Then it was off to see Rose, who was taking more time to talk to fans, which is understandable given the fact that Colin had a longer line and Rose also can’t seem to help herself. Chesty gave me her badge so I could get a second autograph, like a friggin champ, and I had Rose sign the spyglass and also had the title page of the manuscript I’ve written (I NEED TO FINISH EDITING IT) and told her it was a 1920s Alice in Wonderland retelling, and I thought having her sign it would be a good luck charm. She sounded super enthusiastic about it and wrote a long note for me on it, which I will for sure cherish forever!!!

OH! And on my way to get into the Rose line, I hear someone say my name and LO AND BEHOLD, IT’S @leiandcharles!!! HUZZAH!!! I probably sounded like a spaz because I was on a Colin and Rose high and was all over the place but she pretended to not be terrified of the insanity that was me… ANYWAY!

It was then time for dinner. With the pub PACKED TO THE GILLS, especially after there was a bomb scare at a nearby hotel so the people there had to come over to ours for a bit, a group of us went up to Capt’s room to hang out and get pizza. I’m probably going to blank on everyone that was in that room, but I do remember dragging Leia there, meeting @coaldustcanary, Overthinker kicking over my drink and being roasted about it by Chesty (still makes me giggle!), and generally being a nuisance with Capt, Mabs, and Milah while Fraddit, and Lill went off to introduce Chesty to Chipotle. It has since changed her life.

At some point we declare we should hang out at the pub again, and a group of us went to go shoot the shit until Mabs passed out right there in the booth (CALLIN’ YOU OUT, POPS!) and everyone was sufficiently either toasted or tired. Some of us then venture up to my room, and shenanigans ensued. THUS ENDETH COLIN AND ROSE DAY!

Sunday:

While I was sad this seemed like a less crazy day for us, I was also a bit relieved because hot DAMN was I tired after the day before. Still, we didn’t have much time to really collect ourselves because the Mills fam gold panel started at 10, so a group of us wandered down to breakfast.

We then get in to see Andrew, Lana, and Bex, where Lana and Bex were of course hysterical together, Andy looked cute, and you could feel the collective vibrating of all Regina and Zelena fans which was adorable. I mean, I love Regina, but there was some LOVE in that room from her Evil Regals. I do wish Andy had gotten a bit more attention or had been a bit more vocal, but it’s got to be hard to not just let Lana and Bex own the stage.

There was then a decent break before Bex’s panel. That woman, as you all likely know, is HYSTERICAL. She kept the room laughing through most of her panel, and you can see she has nothing but love for her fans and her costars.

After her panel, I don’t have anything I’m too fussed about until 2 (MILAH WAS ROBBED IN THAT VID CONTEST, BTW, JUST SAYING) and so some of us gather together for lunch in, you guessed it, the hotel pub! Dudes, our options were limited and it looked like a library and had loaded potato soup. What more do you want?

It’s then time to MEET LANA, where me, Mabs, and Capt try to strategically settle ourselves somewhere out of the way but close enough to the side door to get a good look at the queen as she walks in. And, DAMN, that woman is gorgeous! Me and Capt then leap into the line where she proceeds to get two very adorable photos done and then I get pulled in to get hugged by Lana (!!!!!!!!!) while Capt hugs her from the back. She was super sweet and patient the whole time with everyone, and you could really see how much she loves spending time with her fans.

We then decide some of us need shots because some of us (*cough* Capt *cough*) are about to pass out from being so near Her Majesty’s presence, and then we wander into the ballroom for Henry Squared’s panel. Andy was adorable, Jared was typical Jared. I’ll be honest, I don’t have anything from that panel that seems to stick out to me as a solid memory, though maybe that was the whiskey shot’s fault.

Then comes Lana’s panel and, once again, you can feel the energy of the Evil Regals in the room. For however silly Colin, Rose, and KnightRook panels are, HOLY DAMN Lana panels are just filled with all sorts of emotions! It was like a damn rollercoaster! I laughed, I teared up, I was generally all over the place. SO MANY FEELINGS, GUYS. It was delightful but also made me just desperately need to laugh about fart jokes with my fellow Colin heathens. WE DON’T KNOW EMOTIONS.

Sadly during the following break, it is time to say farewell to the spun sugar that is Lillpon. I console myself knowing I’ll see her again, but it’s depressingly others’ last time with her, but ONLY FOR NOW. Yes? Yes.

Next up is autos with Andrew and then Lana. Andrew was a sweetheart. I was standing next to Capt and Mabs, where we proceeded to tell him how great we thought he was in season 7 and how much that season and his performance in it meant to us and brought back some love for the show. He seemed genuinely touched and said it meant a lot to him to hear that. Bless that boy.

We then wait a bit for me, Capt, Mabs, and Milah to venture up for Lana’s autos. By the time we got to her, we had this whole strategic thing planned out where I’d bring up S7 Hooked Queen, Capt gets her Hooked Queen picture signed, and Mabs gets the word for Capt’s tattoo. Lana says she did expect when they started that she thought Hook and Regina were going to be a thing but alas. Oh! And Mabs tells her that they’ve got family from the same area of Sicily, where Lana proceeds to say they do kinda look alike, and it is now confirmed #fam.

With everything over, we head once again to, YOU GUESSED IT AGAIN, the hotel pub. Chesty and Fraddit have already settled in and eaten, and me, Mabs, Capt, Overthinker, and Milah get ourselves all ordered up where we both mourn the end of the weekend and still buzz from the high the last three days had given us. A series of more shenanigans ensues, and none of us are ready for the weekend to be over. I’m pretty sure we collectively tried to drag it out for as long as possible.

For one last hurrah, we then venture to the pool again and meet up with @reginamotherfuckingmills and @agntreginaskywalker, where we all debrief and collectively laugh about the weekend, in addition to getting all into our feels about how Swan Queen fans and Hook fans are being all chill and friendly with each other. WHO KNEW PEOPLE COULD HUMAN?!

It was a fantastic end to the weekend, and there were more days ahead that involved ridiculous conversations in the car (Thicc Lady and Pointy Boi! Is this Central Park?! etc), meeting Mabs’s ENTIRE FAMILY, hearing Chesty lose her mind several times, enjoying super Long Island experiences with them, Milah, Overthinker, and Fraddit, and so on. Some of us also went sailing on a tall boat later, where we hoisted the main sail and felt like proper pirates! Then there was just general hanging out, but I won’t bore you further with that.

Instead, I’ll bore you with shoutouts!

@lillpon DESCUSTANG!!! You’re such a damn delight. Both sharing a bed and hoisting the main sail with you was brilliant and I love you forever. YOU MET COLIN!!!

@queen-mabs-revenge What are words? I have none. And if I started I’d probably turn into a mess so FARTS BELLY PT CRUISER POINTY BOI FARTS! I’ll probably emotion at some point and send it to you in private and then go run off to watch bloopers or something to get back to some sort of state of normal.

@fraddit SEVEN?! WHAT’S IN THE BOX?! Resting judge face or no, you’re fantastic, I love you, and you’re forever welcome in my apartment! Or basically anywhere with me.

@thesschesthair You funny asshole, I don’t know what I would have done without you to be there to say jokes as foul as mine. You were such a good sport about me being an annoying shit. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed we can celebrate your birthday with a Captain Charming shindig!!!

@justmilah You’re so sweet and so funny and just damn precious. I LOVED going to the American Girls store, traipsing around Rockefeller Center, exploring actual Central Park, getting Millian and Knightrook feels in the AMNH, and wasting time at Johnny Utah’s with you. You’re always welcome!!!

@captregina Mah darling! I’m so glad and relieved that you had a good experience! You earned it, and I’m excited to talk about it over brunch with you.

@theonceoverthinker YOU FAVORITE PHD GENIUS! Stellar questions from a stellar person. It was amazing to hang out with you and we should do it again soon!!!

@the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt You’re a precious angel and it was delightful to meet you! I’m so glad you felt welcomed into the fold. But, of course you were! You’re wonderful!

@brave-lassie From one “mom” to another, thanks! Also, you’re a sweetheart and YOU MAKE AN AMAZING RED!!!

@leiandcharles @freifraufischer @coaldustcanary @reginamotherfuckingmills and @agntreginaskywalker IT WAS LOVELY TO MEET YOU ALL! And thank you for being so patient and awesome with some of the shenanigans.

#ouat nj #long mcfriggin post #I WANTED TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING!!!#and i still probably left stuff out

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putschki1969 · 6 years

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Japan Travel Diary 🎌

Okay, here it is, a more or less thorough report of my Japan trip in January (which mostly consisted of doing Kalafina-related stuff so I thought it might be interesting for some of you XD). Sorry, this is like 5 million years overdue. @mello-chi‘s comment about looking forward to my upcoming Japan trip reports actually reminded me that I still had this post in my drafts so I thought I better finish this now before I have to write another one XD

Without further ado, let’s get to it 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

January 14 (Sunday) This was my first ever non-direct flight to Japan so I was not looking forward to it. I boarded my plane at around 10 am (Austrian time), I arrived in Paris at around noon and I landed at Narita Airport at around 9 am the next day (January 15 - Monday). Here’s a rare selfie of little me waiting to board the plance wearing my beloved Cakey bomber jacket by Lily Brown (it kept me warm during the flight ^_^). PS: Excuse the excessive use of filters in this pic. I was wearing no make-up.

You know what I find annoying, they have all these Japanese artists like LiSA and Nana Mizuki in the plane music library but absolutely NO Kalafina. Why?? And no, you don’t need to answer that, it was more of a rhetorical question anyways. I know of course that for some weird reason Kalafina aren’t as popular as those other artists….but still, so frustrating… I ended up watching a ton of movies :P I really envy people who can sleep during a flight.

January 15 (Monday) I didn’t do much that day tbh. I was too exhausted from my flight. I am glad they let me check in early at my hotel (which was in Kanda btw – very convenient location for tourists if you ask me) After I had freshened up a little at the hotel I did make a short trip to Akihabara to check if I could find any second hand Kala goods. That day I found a Blue Day wristband, a KNGNN postcard and a cheap Consolation Pamphlet (something I had always wanted but I never felt like paying the full price on CDJapan). Throughout my stay I managed to find quite a lot of stuff actually but more on that later. Here’s a sneak peek tho XD

January 16 (Tuesday) This day was dedicated to shopping. I think I spent almost an entire day in the Shinjuku/Harajuku/Shibuya area. I bought a bunch of Disney stuff and Pikachu merch for my sister and nephew respectively and then I searched through all the Kala-clothing stores trying to find some WaKei outfits. I am super happy because I got my hands on this cute patchwork skirt by Redyazel, the one that Keiko wore quite recently for the Songful Days promo video. I also bought a matching top because they had a special “buy 2 pieces and get 30% off” deal. I can never resist deals like that even though they actually make you spend even more money in the end XD (sadly, they didn’t have the turtleneck sweater that Keiko is wearing here)

After looking through each and every Lily Brown store in Tokyo I finally found this =>The long cardigan Keiko wore in Nikko (it’s so cute and warm!).

Aside from that, I didn’t really find anything else. I came across the Fig&Viper pullover Keiko recently wore but meh, that’s not really my style and it was still quite expensive. I also saw the Mila Owen dress that Wakana wore a while back but it just wasn’t worth the money (and now I regret not buying it T_T).

January 17 (Wednesday) In the morning I went to visit the lesser known Shinagawa Aquarium which – sorry Wakana – was VERY underwhelming and I can totally understand why it’s not as popular as the other one. The only cool thing was the free shuttle bus, it had a cute design. The aquarium itself looked quite run-down and it was much smaller than I expected. But hey, I met Shirowani-san and I got to touch a dolphin which was pretty epic. Of course I had to eat the parfait that Keiko ordered when she was at the aquarium together with Wakana back in the summer time. It was really yummy but it definitely wasn’t the best day to eat it because afterwards, I was freezing my butt off. Oh well, the things I do for Cakey XD

I really wanted to buy the cute shark backpack but it was just way too expensive T_T Forever sad...Now I regret not buying it. Then again, it’s not really my style.

In the afternoon I met up with my friend Pae and I finally received my goods from the Harmony events and the Acoustic Tour. BANZAI! As for the Harmony event merch, I got the black t-shirt, the blue parka and the keyholder. From the Acoustic Live goods, I got the pamphlet, the clearfile and the postcard set. (I love the black t-shirt SO MUCH! I have worn it a lot since I have gotten back)

Together Pae and I went on a quest to find more Kala-goodies and I got lucky once again. I found two old singles, a limited edition of Magia and a regular edition of Hikari no Senritsu (one of these days my singles collection will be complete XD But I have to be patient because I just don’t wanna pay full price for singles >_>). Aside from that I also bought the limited edition of the Seventh Heaven album which includes the live DVD. They also had a BEST Red Day cup for sale at Radio Kaikan (one of the many tokutens from back in the day) but meh, I didn’t feel like getting it. I wonder if any of you bought it? They also had a FOTW and 9+ONE pamphlet and a few other CDs (but I already own all of those so I ignored them). After my meet-up with Pae, I made a trip to Roppongi to eat at my first out of many Kalafina-restaurants/cafés. That’s when it started raining heavily (so annoying) but at least I found the place rather quickly (thanks to google maps!) I went to the very popular Tsurutontan where they serve huge bowls of udon!! I ordered Katsu Curry Udon (my favourite) and some yummy fried dumplings on the side (OMG, they were SO FREAKING GOOD!!)

The food was delicious but it was a little too much for me. XD Curry soup is much more filling than regular soup. And I underestimated the dumplings quite a bit, they were also super filling. I had intended to go to the Manon Mimie store afterwards but I wasn’t feeling like getting drenched in the rain so I headed back to my hotel. I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t end up going because I messaged the store that night and asked them if they still had the Cakey clothes in stock and turns out they don’t *forever sad* I should have tried to find a way to order it back then when the pretty skirt and sweater were still in stock.

January 18 (Thursday) The first half of this day was dedicated to visiting the Imperial Palace. If you arrive early enough you can make a same-day reservation for a tour so that’s what I did. It was an interesting tour for sure and the weather was amazing!!! After the tour was over I decided to walk to Budokan since I was already in the area. I wanted to check out the venue to make sure I wouldn’t get lost on the day of the concert. At that point I was getting quite tired (and super hungry) so it was time for yet another Kala-food-experience. I took the subway to the Akasaka area and paid a visit to the gorgeous café/restaurant/bar La Maison Kioi (the place where the girls had their special SPICE off-day interview). It was so fancy and pretty. I ordered a crazy expensive Afternoon Tea Set but it was totally worth the money, it was incredibly yummy!!! Once I had eaten each and every single piece of food on that tray, I made my way to Shibuya/Harajuku to do some more shopping. This time I came across this gorgeous red skirt that Wakana has been wearing quite frequently. I think I never actually made a post about this skirt o.O A fellow fan on twitter discovered it right before my trip to Japan and when I saw it in the store I obviously couldn’t resist. On my way home I made another stopover in Akihabara and I found the limited edition of the 5th Anniversary Live Selection album. Had to get it of course XD

January 19 (Friday) On Friday I bought my 3-Day-JR-Tokyo-Wide Pass to do some traveling outside of Tokyo. It was another gorgeous sunny day, perfect for touristy stuff ^_^ The first place on my list was Kamakura. There’s lots of nice stuff to see but I mainly wanted to go there because it was the destination of Keiko’s 60 km walk on New Year’s Day back in 2014 (OMG, has it already been four years!!??) One of these days I wanna do that kind of thing as well. I went to see the big buddha of course and I also checked out some of the surrounding shrines and temples. At first I wanted to go to Enoshima as well but then I decided against it, didn’t really feel like going there. Not a fan of beaches anyways. I took the train back to Tokyo but got off in Yokohama (the second place on my list) where I also did some sightseeing. But first I needed to restore my energy so I had some late lunch in Yokohama Chinatown at Jogenro (the restaurant where Wakana ate her shark fin course – she went to the place in Tokyo tho). I really wanted to try the shark fin lunch menu but they wouldn’t let me order it since it is meant for two people T_T Such a shame! The only downside to traveling alone, getting food is troublesome. Then again, if you have company it’s even more of a hassle because it’s hard to find something that everyone likes. Also, tbh, I probably wouldn’t have been a huge fan of the shark stuff anyways so maybe it was for the best. Either way, since I couldn’t have my shark lunch, I decided on one of their regular lunch menus. Wahhh! So tasty!! I love Chinese food! It was too much tho, so many different things to eat, I almost exploded towards the end but I really wanted to finish everything. I hate wasting good food. In dire need to walk off all the calories I had just put into my body, I explored the rest of Yokohama. I walked to Mirai Minato to check out the two Red Brick Warehouses. Back in 2011 and then once again in 2014 Kalafina performed their Christmas Lives at the Red Brick Warehouse. They have mentioned on multiple occasions that this is a very special place for them. Of course I also had to ring the bell of happiness. ^_^ I couldn’t leave Yokohama without riding the Ferris-wheel so I did that in the evening when the sun was setting. I had a great view of the city up there. Later on I managed to take some nice pictures of the colourful and sparkling Ferris-wheel at dusk. And that’s a wrap for my first day-trip outside of Tokyo.

January 20 (Saturday) On Saturday I took the train to Nikkō. One of the main reasons I purchased the JR Wide Pass was because I wanted to take the Shinkansen to Utsunomiya. It’s much more convenient than the other options. And then I got to ride the Nikkō Line which looks really cool. I think you all know why I traveled to Nikkō XD I wanted to see the venue of Kalafina’s World Heritage Special Live. During my last Japan trips I already got the chance to visit Nara and see Kōfuku-ji but I had never been to Nikkō before. And hey, even if Kalafina hadn’t performed there I still would have liked to see Tōshōgū, it’s absolutely gorgeous. And *weeee* I got to witness a traditional wedding. Everyone was all dressed up and the bride looked stunning!! Afterwards I explored the area for a while and walked around a lot. (I walked so much during my Japan trip) I was considering going to see the waterfalls as well but I thought it might not be the best season to experience it in all its beauty and glory. I’ll come back some day soon, I promise! In the afternoon I returned to Tokyo and I once again found myself in the Roppongi area to eat some Kala-food :P Literally the only reason I went to these fancy schmancy areas was to eat at Kalafina restaurants/cafés. This time I ate at “The Counter Roppongi”, the place where Keiko had her YOLO burger meal this winter. I wanted to order the same burger that she had gotten but turns out it had all kinds of weird ingredients (like mushrooms >_>) so I ended up ordering a chicken burger XD I think that might have been the best burger and some of the most delicious fries I have ever eaten. Really impressed! The only thing I could have lived without was the overly sweet brioche bun. It just doesn’t go well with savoury food. I don’t understand why you would use a brioche bun for a burger, doesn’t make sense to me at all o.O Is it a Japanese thing? Or maybe an American thing?

January 21 (Sunday) I took the special Holiday train to Kawaguchiko because I wanted to get a clear view of Mount Fuji. The mountain was still visible while I was on the train but slowly but surely clouds started gathering around it and by the time I had arrived at my destination, Mount Fuji was hidden completely T_T It’s a real shame. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, it was literally perfect weather but each and every cloud in the area had decided to cuddle up to Mount Fuji. I think I made the mistake of taking the later train. I should have taken the train at like 7am or something. Apparently chances of seeing Mount Fuji are highest before 9 am and I think that’s true, I am sure I would have gotten a good view if I had been there earlier. I was there at like 9:30-10:00 and that’s just too late. Oh well, we all learn from our mistakes. In two week’s time I will be closer to Mount Fuji than I have ever been XD I didn’t want my trip to be wasted so I still took the ferry across the lake and of course I took the Kachi Kachi Ropeway which ascends to an observation point near the summit of Mount Tenjo, from where Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji can be seen. Riding that cablecar was rather unpleasant because it was jam-packed. I wasn’t aware you could even squeeze that many people into a cablecar. I got some nice views despite there being no sign of Mount Fuji. Afterwards I bought a bunch of souvenirs for my coworkers and took the train back home again. I really love all the train designs! So cute! Since I still had my JR Pass I thought I’d use it for a few trips along the Yamanote Line. I was trying to avoid using my Suica as much as possible as long as I had the JR Pass XD One of my stops was Ikebukuro. I am not a huge fan of the area but I still wanted to see if I could find anything interesting. Bought some more Pikachu merch for my nephew at the Pokemon Center and then I did some window shopping. A girl-group was performing at Sunshine City while I was there but I didn’t stay long enough to figure out who they were. People were going crazy about them tho so I guess they might have been popular. Who knows. Either way, with all these people occupied the shops were pretty empty so that’s definitely a good thing (especially on a Sunday where it’s usually busy as hell). For dinner I had yummy Coco Curry (for once not Kalafina related :P).

January 22 (Monday) a.k.a. Crazy Snow Day This was the day of our tumblr fan meetup. Probably the worst day we could have chosen but hey, what can you do? And it’s not like any of us could have known that it would snow so heavily. It’s almost funny because I am always in Tokyo when crazy snow storms happen. I was there in 2014 as well. XD Thank God I am more or less used to snow (which is something that can’t be said about most of my fellow-fans that were at the meetup). I took things slowly that day since I was already stressing out about the meetup. I went to Akihabara again and this time I found a FOTW wristband in one of the second hand stores. BANZAI. Back in 2016 when I went to see the FOTW Special Finals I actually forgot to buy a wristband. This has annoyed me for the longest time but I didn’t feel like buying it online so yeah, this was definitely a lucky find. Yippie!! Then I went to Don Quijote to buy some more souvenirs (mostly chocolates). I’ll be eating all this stuff foe the next few weeks. :P So far my favourite purchase is Hokkaido Melon Kit Kat. The BEST Kit Kat I have ever had! It’s so DAMN amazing, I regret not buying more T_T When I got back to my hotel I had to figure out a way to squeeze all the chocolates into my luggage without everything getting crumbled on the flight back home. I think I managed pretty well. I had some sandwiches for late lunch and then I headed to Shinjuku to do some more (window) shopping and to wait for everyone to arrive at the Karaoke place. Sorry again @okeuphemia, we totally kept missing each other at Lumine Est. And sorry to everyone else who had a hard time finding Karaoke Kan. I know it must have been quite the hassle for some of you, especially in this horrible weather. But thankfully, almost everyone managed to get there (eventually). My apologies to Jimmy who didn’t make it! Maybe next time (if there ever is a next time :P) I hope you all had a good time at the meetup. There were way more people than I originally expected and we had some hardcore karaoke singers amongst us (you all rocked btw!!) so we weren’t really able to talk properly but I think it was still nice for most of you. Sorry if I seemed a bit awkward, I am just not very comfortable being among such a big crowd of people. I am glad a few of us decided to leave early and grab a cup of coffee, it gave me the chance to get to know some of you a little bit better. It’s really nice to finally know who is hiding behind those tumblr nicknames (shout out to @audiojapanstyle for just being a super nice and comforting presence!) And hey, such a funny coincidende, that day I found out that @theraspberrybushes and I stayed at the same hotel. We ended up going back together in the heavy snow.Sorry for always rushing ahead. >_<

January 23 I pretty much covered the entire day in my live report but I haven’t talked about my after live activities yet so I guess I will do it here. Originally I had just planned to go back to the hotel to get some sleep. After all I was supposed to fly back home the next morning so I wanted to get some much needed rest. However, my friend Pae convinced me to go have dinner with a few Japanese Kala-fans. I am glad she did because it was actually very nice. But once again, there were way more people than expected (slightly overwhelming – even Hachimaki was there; it felt like I had been invited to an elite Kalafina fan meet-up XD). We went to a Chinese restaurant and had some yummy gyoza. Literally the entire place was filled with Kala-fans XD We didn’t stay there for long so thankfully I didn’t get home too late. Right before we left I managed to REALLY embarrass myself when one of the Japanese Kala-fans approached me. I wasn’t aware he wanted to talk to me, I thought he was trying to get past me or something so when he started talking I turned away from him. Pae had to literally drag me back to him and then I realised he had wanted to start a conversation. Major fail. That’s why I keep telling people that I suck at social interactions. Oh well, we ended up talking about Vienna, seems like he travels there quite frequently for work. Having dinner with all these fellow Kala-fans was a really nice end to an already amazing day. I even have a couple of pictures to remind me of that little meet-up.

Okay, this is officially the end of my travel report. Congratulations to everyone who read the whole thing. I hope it wasn’t too boring. I have lots of Kalafina activities planned for my next trip so I am super hyped ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪

#kalafina #personal #travel diary #putschki holmes #stalker putschki #long post #text heavy #picture heavy #long overdue #getting rid of all of my drafts XD #rare selfie

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carolinelayt · 4 years

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As World Rugby’s working group, which had many members belonging to anti-trans group “Fair Right For Women”, ascertains transgender women’s rights to play rugby through studies which are questionable science and yet, we, the common people outside the working group, have not seen the hidden studies used.

My sources tell me one study was apparently used and highlighted by Kirsti Miller’s tweet, and this study didn’t even reference transgender sports women among its studied group of participants.

I’m a former trans woman rugby representative player/sprinter and yet my informative lived rugby experience was never sought by the rugby powers that be, so I’ve documented my own personal best times from when I was a 13-year-old child and long before I began my feminisation transition at age 30 to when I finished competing as a female Masters sprinter aged-50.

My competing for St Joseph’s College, Hunter’s Hill Open 4 x 400 metre relay at AAGPS Annual Athletics meeting

In this article I’d like to focus on my sprinting background.

My PB as a male sprinter over 100 metres – 11.28 (hand timed and included below) and this was over 2 seconds faster than my PB as a female sprinter 13.54 at the 2002 Sydney Gay Games (electronic-which is included directly below).

The further the distance, the slower my pre-transition times comparatively became, ie 200 metres 23.70 (ht) as compared to 28.14 (e) and 400 metres 50.80 (ht) to 68.00 (e) post-transition.

My (K. Layt) running Open 100 metres Division for Joeys at GPS Athletics meet 1983, 11.70 secs, not my PB but still competitive and much faster than my female PB

1980 – around the time when I ran my then PB of 13.30

My competing at Athletics NSW Masters Championships 2003. My time was a wind affected 13.96. Note my female body post-transition and I finished 3rd to two cis-gender women

(Photos above: Athletics NSW 100 metre W35 podium – Gold Jackie Bezuidenhout 13.59, Silver Julianne Miles-Brown 13.78, Bronze Caroline Layt 13.96 … I was beaten fair and square by two cis-gender women athletes and on the left I was 14 years 10 months and was running similar times to my female self at 37. I’d only gone through about 9 months of puberty at that time.)

My 100 metre PB as a female athlete is very similar to my PB at 14 years 10 months and at that age I was very early into the male puberty I endured as a young teenager and the photos directly below show my physical state when these times were recorded.

My pre-pubescent times during Year 8 over 100 (15 secs) and 400 metres (1 min 10 secs) – I was aged-13 years 6 months. Not long after this, puberty hit and my times skyrocketed

This indicated I had lost endurance rather quickly after my transition and Gender Affirmation Surgery.

In terms of strength I lost almost a third of my strength bench pressing 1 repetition max – 115kgs as a male athlete (photos directly below when I was bench pressing heavy weights for my size) as compared to the 70 kgs I lifted as a female athlete.

I was still competing and ran low 11 secs around the time this photo was taken

My testosterone filled 18-year-old-self

2 years pre-transition – Performing exhibition Step routine s a group fitness instructor, I could bench press 115 kgs 1 rep max

Aerobics competitor

Years later when I was at the other end of the testosterone scale (0.4 nmols) I had to give up my sprinting after the 2016 season, as I was no longer competitive.

My decline of fast twitch fibre and athletic prowess was swift and at age 46 my speed had declined rather quickly and I was running well over 15 seconds for the 100 metres.

Within two years (2010 – W44 years to 2012 – W46 years) I went from 14.20 to 15.74 seconds over 100 metres at the Australian Masters Athletics championships 100 metre heats in Melbourne, which is a far cry from my 13.73 equal-4th placing recorded at the same event only eight years earlier.

By 2012 there were early signs my training as a sprinter was making me unwell due to a lack of testosterone in my body.

I tried to make a comeback to sprinting in 2018 but it made me feel too unwell.

So I now play technical sports such as cricket, throwing and have recently taken up lawn bowls.

I’ve been androgen (testosterone) deficient for some time now and I have to take andro-femme cream to have any semblance of normal health, as it brings my testosterone levels up to a reasonable female level (4 nanomols) from an unacceptable level (0.4 nanomols).

Another thing occurred around this time and my endocrinologist Dr Jon Hayes who primarily cared for trans patients, had to endure his own personal witch-hunt by the NSW Medical Board and along with hundreds of his trans patients, I had to find a new doctor.

It just indicates how trans people are on the nose when it comes to the “top end” of society and the only we can get ahead is to pretend to be cisgender-heteronormative.

And even cis-het people can be persecuted if they “overstep their boundaries” in caring for us.

(Listed below are my PB times when I ran as a sprinter pre and post my first puberty. It also covers my times as a female masters track and field athlete after my 2nd feminising puberty (which btw corrected the masculinising effects of my first unwanted puberty.)

I’m not the only athlete whose times have slowly disintegrated over a period of time after a feminising transition, as can be seen from Kirsti Miller’s tweet below.

Ms Miller and I were personally educated by fellow Transgender advocate and sportswoman Kristen Worley about our own health needs, including an androgen deficient body which has no receptors to naturally produce testosterone.

She’d already been through it and was a perfect educator.

Ms Worley famously took the IOC to court and won.

https://twitter.com/KirstiMiller30/status/1288274874390024193

Both Ms Miller and Ms Worley require the same medication I use and the aforementioned Ms Miller now has osteoporosis which can be seen from the photos below.

On the left an unhealthy Ms Miller around her partner Nikki Phillips’ Aussie Rules playing group and (pic-right) when she was healthy playing the game in 2013.

Recently transitioned Juniper Eastwood has already noticed differences to her strength, power, endurance and energy levels.

Her coach in University of Montana’s Head Track and Field coach Brian Schweyen said, “June just loves competing and running,”

“There’s no set standard on where she should be because there’s not enough studies, but it’s pretty clear she is nowhere near where Jonathan was.”

And this so proves after taking feminising hormones performance does decrease over a period of time and June can expect to lose more of the above over the coming years.

I do agree there should be a case-by-case basis for allowing transgender women to compete in sport, as I indicated in my Channel 9 interview.

My Max Vo2 test (35.5ml.O2 per minute – well within female range) and being allowed to compete in athletic competitions in 2003 by Athletics NSW and my sports doctor.

As I have stated many times there shouldn’t be a blanket ban as World Rugby’s working group suggests is required, but I agree transgender women need to be held to standards playing a contact sport and these include the IOC guidelines, ie feminising hormonal intervention, but Gender Affirmation Surgery shouldn’t be the basis, although I believe the nanomol allowance level should be higher than the 5 nanomols it is at present.

Around 8 to 10 nanomols is a reasonable level for transgender sports women to compete successfully in sport.

I do, however, believe in fairness for all people and playing sport is a universal human right and it’d be nice if some people, who I believe have far too much say in the development of sports policy, would disassociate their own bias and prejudice with the process when making these policy decisions.

And Ross Tucker’s tweet below indicates how little he misses the point and doesn’t understands transgender women by calling us “males”.

He’s prominent among the working group – front and centre alongside another anti-trans group “Fair Play For Women – who also call trans women “biological males”.

Not at all. So what’s the hypothesis here? That by 2056 science will have shown that males are in fact not superior at sport? I’d take that bet for sure. In time, evidence may emerge to show advantages are totally removed. Right now that doesn’t exist, but safety risks do

— Ross Tucker (@Scienceofsport) July 28, 2020

On any given day you can find a 50 kilo difference between the biggest, strongest athlete on a rugby pitch and the smallest, most skilled athlete whether it’s women’s rugby or men’s rugby. Should we ban scrum halves? Or should we ban the big folk?

— RugbySmash (@smash_rugby) July 28, 2020

https://twitter.com/CarolineLayt/status/1288339014664065024

I believe Tucker’s close-minded mindset will never change and I hope this lived-experience of mine and others as transgender athletes will help people understand we’re not men in dresses like the stereotypes portray and we can be involved in sporting teams like the many I’ve been involved with since I began playing women’s sport in 2002.

Further, I’d like to share a post by a member of the working group who wasn’t happy with the going-ons in the room.

And on that note I’d like to show them what a trans athlete looks like, of which according to my source above, many of the people in the Working Group had no idea about.

We don’t look like the men these anti-trans groups say we are and after a feminising transition which includes hormone therapy (which takes our levels duplicating a false pregnancy), electrolysis, anti-androgens and for some of us Gender Affirmation Surgery we are anything but male.

Kirsti – post-transition and surgery in Thailand

2014 – Caroline with Johnston & James throws pentathlon trophy

When I was running around the high 13/low 14 second mark over 100 metres, note my female body on the left after a feminising transition

Caroline – Journalist Interview for Hatch – 2018

Kirsti – post-transition and surgery in Thailand

Sorry, but not sorry for this cheeky photo from 1999 … we’re going to party like it’s 1999!

Caroline – 1998 – just after Gender Affirmation Surgery

Trans woman rugby player/sprinter shares her lived experience as World Rugby’s working group proposes a transgender women’s rugby player ban As World Rugby's working group, which had many members belonging to anti-trans group "Fair Right For Women",

#TransAthlete #Aussie Rules #Inclusion #news #Policy #Rugby League #Rugby Union #Sport #Track and Field #Transgender #TransWomenAreWomen

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