#thats their entire cluster b disorder and what it does | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

egotisticalmachine · 9 months

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saw a post that was essentially like "actually the concepts of [cluster B disorder] abuse arent ableist because we do have abusive behaviors that we need to unlearn and so thats why our disorders are stigmatized" mf ive BEEN unlearning them. ive been teaching myself how to be less manipulative since i was in high school, and im still putting in the effort to improve but ive changed a whole damn lot from the kid i used to be. and just because someone exhibits some unhealthy behaviors does not mean theyre abusive. there is a difference between causing harm to others sometimes and being outright abusive. everyone hurts others on occasion. everyone has unhealthy and toxic behavior patterns they need to unlearn. thats not fucking unique to cluster B disorders.

i am not excusing people who ARE abusive and whose abuse DOES tie in with their cluster B symptoms, but im also not putting up with the fucking idea that its somehow all of our fault that other people want to assume were all heartless shitty irredeemable monsters. personality disorders are chronic and incurable but people with them can still improve and be kind, even if they make occasional mistakes just like how everyone else makes mistakes.

it is not ableism to call out abusive behavior and make the person responsible face consequences, thats entirely correct. it is not ableism to say that people need to put in effort to overcome harmful behavior patterns, also completely correct.

what IS ableism is assuming that everyone who struggles with cluster B symptoms is automatically a full blown abuser, and sweeping aside the progress that so many of us have worked so damn hard to make, just because YOU dont think that progress is good enough. i dont care if you also have a cluster B disorder, its still ableism. some of us have worked hard to be good people and dont fucking appreciate having that effort spit on. and if you feel that your toxic behaviors tread into the territory of being abusive, that is not my fucking problem just because we have the same or similar disorders.

and what ELSE is ableism is the fucking fact that people with cluster B disorders struggle so much to find any resources to improve our toxic behaviors because psych professionals see us as inherently horrible and everything written about our disorders revolves around how others can cope with being around us, how to heal from us, how to spot us, how to manipulate us before we can manipulate them. THAT is fucking ableism. a lack of resources because others are so hellbent on hating and blaming and hurting us. how are we supposed to even be expected to improve when nobody is willing to help us? and yet we do. despite everything there are those of us who improve. and its not fucking acknowledged.

because i value my blood pressure, im blocking anyone who wants to try arguing with me or putting words in my mouth.

#ableism cw #abuse cw #cluster b #actually cluster b #bpd #actually bpd #npd #actually npd #aspd #actually aspd #hpd #actually hpd #actually borderline #actually narcissistic #actually antisocial #actually histrionic

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violentviolette · 4 months

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someone on instagram was like ppl with aspd hate autistic people and vice verse (they were much ruder) so i’m here to say ppl with aspd are sick and we should all go go concerts together

absolutely fucking hilarious stance for them to take given the fact that the aspd and autism venn diagram is practically a cirlce

the more and more i research into it the more it is glaringly obvious that aspd and autism are very closely linked

i think looking at aspd as one potential trauma presentation for autistic people makes the entire disorder make more sense. there was a point when ppl thought they might be the same disorder and thought autism inherently caused antisocial behaviors but then as more studies were done it proved that was incorrect and autism does not inherently cause violent or antisocial behavior and so the two were seperated.

but imo the crucial component being left out is trauma. when u traumatize autistic people, thats when they exhibit antisocial behaviors (among others i dont think apsd is the *only* way traumatized autistics can present, i actually think all cluster b pds except hpd are potential presentations (which for the record i leave hpd out because i believe hpd should be its own seperate catagory of sexual trauma based ptsd because thats absolutely what it is and catagorizing it with cluster b pds makes little sense)).

so its not the autism that causes the behaviors, its the trauma. aspd is inherently a trauma disorder, and so when u traumatize autistic ppl or even just ppl whose brains function closer to autistic brains than alltistic brains, the behaviors they exhibit are antisocial behaviors

i think it just makes sense when u remove the ableism from the aspd criteria and break the disorder down to its base parts. things like lack of emotional empathy, devaluing social and societal norms, difficulty making meaningful connections with others, low tolerance for boredome and understimulation, overstimulation feelings resulting in violent reactions, impulsive behavior, perseveration on specific thoughts or ideas, a rejection of outside logic and influence that favors ones own internal sense of logic, opperant defiance, ect.

i think we'd end up with a much better understanding of antisocial behavior if we viewed it from a traumatized autistic lense. i cannot count the number of times someone has described a "crazy psychopath" and if u take more than 3 seconds to look at their behavior its obviously just an incredibly distressed and maladjusted autistic person

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #cluster b #cluster b safe #cluster b pds

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aspd-culture · 7 months

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aspd culture is : goes into the aspd tag. seems someone claiming house md, (guy whos dxd aspd in the show im pretty sure lol) is actually hyperempathic instead of lacking it and avoids patients due to too much empathy. like ok just avoid the whole boundary pushing / whatever else ok. alright thats enough of that *turns off internet* ive had enough of prosocials damn why do they think the only aspd symptom ever is lack of empathy. god

The amount of people who take *any* ASPD rep - including but not limited to House, this was also EXTREMELY common with Wednesday Addams, who is also diagnosed with ASPD in the show Wednesday - and call it "hyperempathetic autism" is... disgusting honestly. I'm autistic too and I get the desire to have representation from non-infantalized characters, I do, but the erasure of ASPD from the very few sources who intentionally make ASPD representation is not how we handle that.

And, as you mentioned, many people intentionally overlook, ignore, or try to explain away any "bad" behavior (see also: ASPD symptoms) because it pushes against their point.

People are just... so desperate to not admit that anyone they like had ASPD that they will directly ignore and speak over the media's direct acknowledgement of ASPD just so they can see us as monsters and still have permission to like that character.

PSA to prosocials, especially those with no other experience with cluster b treatment:

When the therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist says the character "has antisocial traits" or "is antisocial", that's not a descriptor, nor does it mean they don't like people/avoid interaction with people. That's a medical professional using a different model of discussing a diagnosis with the patient by rephrasing it without the disorder attached. This is super common with ASPD because many pwASPD who are forced into treatment - like House and Wednesday - are resistant to admitting something is "wrong with them", so the professional will use the inital descriptor instead of the entire disorder name. In this case it's "antisocial" with the words personality disorder removed. It's also common to see in media happening for people with BPD, with the character being referred to as "having borderline traits" or "being borderline".

If the professional was referring to them or their traits as "asocial", then it would mean what you guys think it does - they avoid interaction, have a general dislike of socializing/social situations, and generally self-isolate. Antisocial and asocial are not the same, and while you can argue that anyone else in a show calling someone antisocial won't know the difference, their mental health professionals do. Evidently, House and the rest of the cast are also very aware in-canon of mental health, going by the DID episode which was done amazingly well imo. If House knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder, I assure you ASPD is not off of his radar. ASPD is significantly more prevalent than DID, with up to 4% of the US population having ASPD compared to 1% of the population having DID. While there is issues with under-diagnosis, those issues are the case with both disorders, so it's likely that the difference made by that would at most only slightly close the gap between the two. House also researches things purely based on the existence of stigma and/or lack of public knowledge on the subject, and frequently attempts to find out why he thinks and acts the way he does behind the scenes. If you google his symptoms, ASPD would be at least one of the things that comes up. So again, he is not misusing antisocial.

In fact, no one on House, MD would say antisocial where they meant asocial, as they are versed in psychology as a part of dealing with complex cases that have failed repeatedly to be diagnosed. That is shown constantly throughout the show. If you chose 3 episodes at random, I'm willing to bet at least one would show their experience in psychology as one of the team pushes the "it's just mental illness" angle.

All of this is to say that fuck prosocials endless refusal to actually acknowledge ASPD, both in likeable and notably unlikable characters!! Many of them HATE House, yet still can't admit he has ASPD. It's giving ableist, because it is ableist.

Plain text below the cut:

And, as you mentioned, many people intentionally overlook, ignore, or try to explain away any "bad" behavior (see also: ASPD symptoms) because it pushes against their point.

PSA to prosocials, especially those with no other experience with cluster b treatment:

#have been having a lot of issues with spoons to go through asks but you activated my special interest trap card #/pos btw #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #aspd representation #house md #gregory house #house md spoilers #house spoilers #dr greg house #house #anons welcome

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gnome-minion · 6 months

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Thinking about how much disability is a core theme of Insignia. The four most plot important characters (Tom, Wyatt, Blackburn, and Vengerov) are all disabled, or are implied to be.

Blackburn's pretty obvious. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. And though that's mostly under control, the experience and the trauma of that sticks with him. And the entire series he views himself as an irredeemable monster. He's caught in what he did when he had that psychotic break.

(Also as a segue, it impacts the way he treats other mentally ill/neurodivergent characters, he even warns Wyatt before she receives her processor that it would change the way she thinks.)

Wyatt's is also pretty obvious. Although not directly stated, Wyatt is obviously autistic. She's canonically neurodivergent, as confirmed in Allies. For the most part, her arc is growing confident in herself, and comfortable with who she is. And also learning more social skills, while never becoming something different. Wyatt's autism is probably my favorite portrayal of autism I've ever seen.

Tom's disability is more subtle. The obvious thing about him having no fingers is explored. How it can aid him (like how the cybernetic fingers can move even if he's in the process of dying), and how they hinder him (they can be taken away, they lack sensitivity, and they're not his actual finger

But also Tom is clearly mentally ill. Even before Catalyst confirmed he was- he shows symptoms of a trauma disorder as early as Insignia. And in Vortex and Catalyst it's pretty blatant.

Catalyst is where all of his erratic behavior gets more explanations. His brain had the same problems that led to his mom developing psychosis and delusions. And while he had a neural graft to enlarge his frontal lobe, I don't think that would be a cure to whatever he's got, like most psychiatric treatments, it just helps with the symptoms .

Also regarding the fact that he wouldn't pass a military psych eval, he generally lacks empathy, and has been generally implied to be a "psychopath", i think it's probable that he's cluster B as well.

Thats not even mentioning him having OSDD or DID considering he has an alter. I'm not throwing out the possibility of him having DID just cause no other alters besides Vanya are shown, cause there is some evidence he could have it in previous books.

And of course- Vengerov.

Major catalyst spoilers up ahead. But Vengerov as a child is heavily implied to be developmentally disabled in some way. After the processor was given to him around the age of 7-8ish he changed completely. Being able to recognize the pain being pushed upon him, and his own ambitions. I'll be honest I can't wrap my head around why this is, outside of a mashup of what happens when you give a young young child a processor, and the computer filling in for Vengerov where his brain wasn't developing as much.

This could easily be used to villainize Vengerov, to show he is an unfeeling, uncaring monster. But Neil's theory at the end of Catalyst changes that. Cause he points out that Vengerov was trying to basically take over the world, yes, but because he lived in a world full of awful evil people in power - he became the worst of them. If he lived in a world run by pacifists? He would be a saint. He would change the world for the better. It's not his, or anyone's nature to be evil. It's their nurture.

It's a really poignant moment. Not only for the political messaging but I think for the explicit sympathy it gives to Vengerov. It never diminishes or undercut how awful what he does is. But also acknowledges how the creation of such an evil person is a product of the system and the world around them, rather than the person's inherent "evilness"

It so wonderfully shows how much of a feedback loop this oligarchical system is. And how the world shapes people into monsters. Only getting worse and worse as time goes on.

Insignia is great, you guys.

#insignia #s.j. kincaid #insignia trilogy #insignia series #tom raines #thomas raines #james blackburn #wyatt enslow #joesph Vengerov #should i tag vanya #vanya

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wawawawawawawawawawawawawa · 11 months

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i dont think i ever elaborated on this thought and kind of only really offhandedly mentioned it once on my twitter, but:

i personally think the attitude of "if shizaya doesnt improve and they still hate each other its more canon" spits in the face of everything canon stands for

before i go on- this isnt about fic preferences or anything. i'm not trying to proselytize or anything- literally like whatever you want, this is Solely about deeming things closer to canonical, which in of itself i'm not a big fan of? it creates this sort of hierarchy in fandom where anyone doesnt follow what is "seemingly canon" is disregarded, and anyone who does tends to be held up on a pedestal in the fandom and people kind of forget they're a Human Being and then try to goad or demand them to "keep" things "close to canon"

(yes this happened to me in another fandom what of it!!!)

but like. the whole Point of durarara is seeing how people change in extreme situations. that is and i cannot stress this enough Literally the Entire Point Of The Show. a relationship changing from hate to love is absolutely within the scope of the show, and like. "but the point is TWISTED love!!" yes But "twisted" could mean so many different things, and some of yall pedestal only a certain depiction of "twisted," i.e. what if they loved each other but it couldn't work because they couldn't change enough. but "twisted" could mean truly so many things like. what if they genuinely love each other but them coupling up makes them stronger in the "underbelly of society?" what if they love each other but they dont see each others' negative traits as a blemish to be hammered out at all costs, just made less tormentous for the person with it?

"uuuuu but thats not twisted that ones literally just mental health recovery" go talk to someone with a cluster b disorder or Any Psychotic Person and come back to me. the matter of the fact is there are certain symptoms and traits that society will call "twisted" just because they fucking Exist

idk its just. the "this is the MOST CANON" part that grinds my gears like. no it isnt! the whole thing is about how people change and develop!!!!!!!! thats the point its about change!! GRABS YOU. ITS ABOUT CHANGE

#AAAAAAAAAAA #wa-kun make a post without meitoning aspd challenge: SUCK SEEDED #i WILL be sucking seed tonight #waposts

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goremet-chef · 10 months

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i wish i existed for like. me? i think thats not coming across how i want but what im saying is right (ramble/rant)

im mentally ill like most people are hello mento illness community but ? ive spent a lot of time reflecting and adapting and ITS KINDA SAD ive just learned to co-exist with this shit even when there is technically some kind of cure somewhere. i remember my therapist told me i find too much comfort in my sadness and thats still true, but like. IDK im living still which is good

cuz ive spent so much time with self reflection i just get it bro 😭😭 i know how to handle other people with bpd pretty well, like. ill do things specifically NO MATTER WHO IT IS whether they have bpd or not i wanna make sure i dont accidentally give anyone RSD if i can help it yknow? pick my words carefully and i try my best to speak in a way that lets people know i want to include them cuz i feel excluded a lot

same with depression, obviously i dont have pretty tiktok depression ive got sleep for 12 hours dont take care of my body rot in my room type but i see it so???? ITS LIKE THAT ONE POST LIKE " 'people get so depressed they dont brush their teeth??? 😰' people get so depressed they kill themselves" LIKE.. ITS CRAZY SKJFSF its just the sad reality with all mental illness, if its not aesthetic and if yr displaying negative symptoms, people arent activists anymore, they dont really care. theyll degrade and dehumanize you just like everyone else

SO i do my best to make sure ? idk i GET IT, so i want to make sure if anyone feels that way, they know i wont degrade them either, that i wont feel disgusted with them or what have you

I JUST WISH THAT LIKE. lord knows i dont want to be friends with myself ew that guy sucks but sometimes i wish the people around me felt more like i do. my family does just think im disgusting even when i explain i dont have the energy to even move sometimes, im constantly suppressing my sadness, rage, even my joy. constantly holding my mouth shut whenever something upsets me and makes me feel rejected cuz i know no one is gonna understand unless they go through what i go through

cuz i know how tiring it is, idk i just want other people to know that i see you and yr not awful for being mentally ill. really tired of all the stigma surrounding various mental disorders cuz it like. it seems like it never goes away???? no matter how much systems scream about DID rep in media it never gets any better (the best example i can think of in recent is moon knight and that still has its flaws), no matter how many bpd support groups there are people still think yr an abuser the second they hear you have it, same with npd and honestly all the cluster b disorders. the seriousness of depression and anxiety is often overlooked, autism and adhd are either glamorized like hell or completely looked down upon, its so. dumb

the problem is, once they learn you are mentally ill in some way, you no longer have a voice. because yr crazy and why should they listen to you? thats how they feel basically. they see us as like. subhuman?? not well enough to make our own decisions apparently, which is so sad and so fucked up. instead of helping you cope with these problems, they just strip away yr humanity. so if they wont make us feel welcome, i can at least do my part to make other people feel welcome, yknow?

i just wish that people would do that for me 😔 no one ever disputes that im disgusting or lazy, they always shit on me for being so anxious and paranoid, like my entire existence is a burden on the people i know. the only way to not feel like that is if i never share my mental issues to begin with, which has its own problems. i do have some people who treat me well despite my flaws, but a majority dont. guess thats just reality for people like me

#mental illness #mental health #tw ableism

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tsurangaconundrum · 3 years

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Bestie u will never believe where i am rn. Actually its not that unbelivable or whatever but im in ~the south~ not like how my home is southern but only to northern people like south south and also?? Ok so i was kinda under the impression that the mountains out west were the smoky mountains, because the ones out east are the appalachian mountains and I MNOW THAT FOR SURE OK so we was driving and thw signs were all like ‘smoky mountains :)’ so that was confusing but it does turn out in the west theres the ROCKY mountains which is why the squirrels called that. But like i thought it was the same mountain range that ran through near the coast?? Idk i should probably look at a map but assuming it is then where does appalachia stop??? Where does it become the smoky mountains?? Cuz i dont live out in the mountains, just near em, like the little baby hills before perfectly flat land, but i dont think i see much smoke on them? So is it just further south where it might be more hot all the time???????? Or is it just a regional thing????? Mayhaps i need to get out more. Idk anyway i want to rip those invasive vines apart with my teeth. Mark of cain arc except instead irresistible urge to eradicate invasive wildlife from their non native ranges. Love driving big fan of driving not me driving but i like being driven around the noise is so nice its like ssshhhhhhhhh i love it but whenever i look out the window i get double vision which is probably a sign of something. Ive been from nj to ga which is probably the most ive traveled in a single year. Just like supernatural <3. I forgot misha collins name and called him miranda sings and now i cant stop :( mr. miranda i love ur work… i was just like. Castiel. Mmmmmiranda? Miranda sings???

We only made like one stop the entire drive (bragging) and when we did we parked next to this guy who was asleep in his car and he had a CAT sitting on his lap!! It was like |w| like it had those real thin eyes probably cuz it was sunny. He was so freakin pretty too like black and white and her eyes were yellow and she def didnt spend a lot of time outside cuz her coat was solid black except for the white parts and if im remembering correctly she had a little green collar but idk because one of our cats had a little (sparkly!) green collar (it had a bell on it because he kept getting lost) (he ended up getting lost forever. Based on the way he acted he probably had a neurological disorder or smthng. Twins <3) and i might just be confusing those memories. Kitty cat <3

In my backyard theres a BUNCH of fungus rn which is super cool. We always have some mushrooms n stuff but i feel like theres more than usual this year. Idk if you’ve ever seen em but they’re my favs so have you ever seen those black-green mushrooms that just come from the ground no stem and umbrella just one thick shoot? And they kinda grow in a cluster or a line? They kinda look like old dog poop, but theyre not!! Theyre called dead mans toes. B. Because they look like rotting toes stickin outta the ground. Im sure theres another name for em too but idk thats what ive always called them. Theyre fun!!

Yeah i dont have anything else interesting going on, im down here for a week so mbby something cool will happen there that’ll make a fun story. Last time i was here i picked up a baby turtle with my paddle in the lake :) and then i flipped over :). Anyway hope ur doin well, anything cool going on with u rn??

sdfjlkfds dba we could be besties i love driving. also i dont know jack shit about geography you could tell me anything abt those mountains and i would have to believe you.

i usually only see the little white mushrooms ive never seen dead mans toes before but they sound fun! also the cat sounds adorable my cat cant stand car rides so i could never take him on a road trip like that but i wish i could....

as for cool things w me honestly nothing rlly thrilling. im like going to the beach this week w my friends! that'll be fun! but other than that nah nothin much

#the baby turtle sounds adorable!#asks #dead bird anon

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baehraini · 6 years

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i cbf screenshotting her posts again so ima just quote her

1) when I’m disagreeing with an small obessed group all of which have Some cluster b disorder in common, yes I’m going to call you the cluster gang

out of all of the women that have been agreeing with me about u... im the only one i know of that has BPD or any cluster B disorder. the others with the same are hardly the majority.

2) yes you have a problem with the g spot if you think it leads to ripping a woman’s vagina open. I told you that story about a lover I had who I gave a G spot orgasm too that freaked out over it before reading up on what happened . You have piss poor reading skills if you think that was about me fisting her. As I simply didn’t fist her at all. I don’t fist every lover I have either, just the few who express they would enjoy it.

heres ur exact statement

why the fuck bring it up in the middle of a convo about fisting? no im not opposed to fingering or .. the g-spot. the fuck. back-pedaling @ its finest here.

3) why complain at all about how many hrs another woman has sex? That’s all on you guys. I can eat sleep sex for weeks if I want to and have before, who cares what you think about it.

girl no one’s complaining, ppl just think its bull as do i. but like, do u. again, ur sex life is urs. normal people dont go aroudn talking about how much they fist women and these womens specific experiences & orgasms with descriptors of said women. thats personal shit. thats 99% of where people’s criticism is coming from. boasting & bragging about shit like this is so disrespectful to YOUR sexual partners and thats why youre being compared to straight men.

4) I’m not into penetration myself and have said this many times, obviously I wasn’t talking about having that preference in any judgements way. I simply pointed out the fact if you bleed from more then one finger in you then that’s something you should check out as how do you even put a tampon in. Fact is that is not normal for most women and your vagina should not bleed so easily. I’m simply looking out for you by saying this.

i bled because she was very rough and bad with her hands. she also added in a second finger when i wasnt even wet enough for the first one to begin with. it usually takes me time to get to the point where im able to handle penetration bc im relatively tight. with my girlfriend, ive never bled. the entire point of me sharing that story was to explain why i personally cannot even comprehend vaginal fisting, not to say that no female can handle more than 1 or 2 fingers.

5) if a lesbians sex life is her business she should be able to openly talk about it without you flipping yr shit especially since this is my blog and you are a stranger I’ve blocked from it and told that if you don’t like reading it you are free not too.

why are you reading my blog tho? youre 20 years older than me & have gone as far as say theres something wrong with my genitals & made comments about how my sex life must be boring or w/e. does that seem appropriate to you? consider that my mom is 47. youre nearing 41. does it seem appropriate to you that you’re talking like this to someone that much younger than you?

ANYWAYS, the issue isnt you being open about your sex life. its how you speak of the women involved & how much you boast about it. plenty of the women i follow talk about fucking women regularly, the difference is how they talk about it.

7) I’m none of those anon or other pages. You can stop making up profiles and sending yourself bs or at least stop trying to blame me for it. We all know I take too much pride not to let people know when I’m behind something and I would tell you off directly like I always have everyone else ever.

thats cool. you’re not the main suspect for those anons and the people i know that know u well enough also think it’s unlikely that its you. its pretty likely to be one of your buddies & most likely RAIDS. this is nothing new for her.

i definitely haven’t made extra profiles to harass myself nor have i sent myself anons.

8) let’s agree not to have anything to do with each already or unblock and continue this till forever cuz I was done with you the 1st day I saw you tranny stanning saying rape by deception wasn’t real rape and told you I wish you death by tranny cock, but obviously while I didn’t literally mean it you lived only to annoy me ever since instead of just fucking off and leaving me be.

you seemed to mean it literally and only started to say u didnt mean it recently. either way, the graphic shit you said about me sucking dick or w/e.. thats wishing me rape. especially when i said over & over im penis-repulsed and especially repulsed by the thought of having someones penis in my mouth. as for my stance on rape by deception, i changed my stance there & owned up to it being ignorant & wrong at first. either way, i never ever went to any victims of that and told them their experience wasn’t Real somehow.

months ago i wouldve been alright with talking to you PROPERLY and directly but u refused to stop reblogging my posts while still having me blocked, which is the entire reason why i blocked you. bc it was annoying talking to someone who keeps reblogging from me and directing stuff at me on my posts while having me blocked. if u want to unblock one another and talk, i could maybe consider it at this point but ive been saying this for a while now: all i want is for u and ur buddies to stop lying about me, twisting what i say/said/do/did, and the like. i also want them to stop sending me disgusting anons.

at the same time, though, if i see something shitty u or ur friends say (same as for anyone else), im bound to question & criticise it especially considering how aggressive & harsh you all are to anyone you disagree with.

9) You and Eve are no tumblur therapists stop projecting yr mental issues onto me. The only problem I have with cluster b disorders is your group not leaving me be. If there was treatment for that which could make you all you away I would gladly take that magic pill as many times a day as it took.

honestly eve is pretty well off mentally esp when compared to you, and im trying to say this in the least insulting way possible. there’s a reason why so many people find you unreasonable, manipulative, bizarre, hysterical, dramatic, and sometimes comical. either way, trust me im not fond of diagnosing people online. i only ever bring stuff like this up bc its hypocritical for someone to diagnose people online as cluster B all while exhibiting just as many if not more symptoms themselves. either way, this is something youve been doing and refuse to stop doing to other people. just because someone doesnt like you or is critical of you doesn’t mean theyre somehow mentally ill, and it also definitely doesnt mean theyre not a lesbian.

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violentviolette · 1 year

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genuinely nothing i hate more these days than the word "supply"

"narcissists need supply" "npd is the need for supply" "how to get supply" "what to do when u have no supply" ect ect into infinity. it's so unbelievably ableist and othering and disingenuous and the more i see other ppl with npd adopting this language the worse and worse its getting

"supply" is not some unique need that only we have. it's validation. it's attention. it's acknowledgment. its feeling valued and wanted and seen. it's a human need that literally everyone on earth has and requires for healthy mental stability. it's why isolation is considered torture for humans. but calling it "supply" as a shorthand because u dont want to write out all those specific words is a horrendous decision that only adds to pathologizing ur entire self and worsening ur disorder

the reasons people with npd seek out that normal human need in unhealthy and maladaptive ways and cannot generate those feelings internally is what makes things different for us. abuse means we were never taught how to properly develop healthy feelings and skills surrounding those base needs because they were used against us and exploited in abusive ways. thats what makes the way we seek it out and our inability to cope with its lack disordered symptoms. but the thing we are seeking, the validation and attention and acknowledgement, is not some "other" thing that only narcissists need and needing those things at all is not what means u have npd. npd is not at all, in any way, "the need for supply" and to say so is being hugely ablest.

there's been this trend of taking ablest language and stigma's against us because narc abuse ppl have flooded the lexicon with these terms and so they're the most well known and putting positive language around it and just using it like it's fact devoid of any critical thought or nuance. u see it with supply, with malignant or covert and overt narcissism, narc rage, ect. like. this stuff is othering and ablist and stigmatizing af at best and flat out incorrect at worst. there is no way to meaningfully reclaim that language and use it to describe our experience

the push to use buzzword language and label every emotion had by a cluster b with a Moniker does absolutely nothing to actually help ppl with these disorders better understand and learn to cope with them and in fact is actively harmful and patholigizing. u stop engaging with the actual real specific things ur feeling because u stop naming them, u put distance between the uncomfortable truth and urself by slapping a title on it and not fully engaging with it. all the while othering urself and ur needs. ur now no longer just a person with specific needs ur a "narcissist who needs supply" which gets watered down and misunderstood until everyone has a different meaning of the words and u cant have a useful conversation about peoples problems and struggles and the support they need

people with cluster b disorders are normal people. we are human beings. the emotions we experience, even the disordered ones, are human emotions that everyone is capable of. our needs are normal human needs that everyone has. the specifics of them will be different, the exact how and when and why will be different. lots of it will be disordered and unhealthy and incorrect by nature and need to be reevaluated or relearned or adjusted. but the core base emotions and needs that we have are *normal and human*

#jack.speaks #npd #npd safe #cluster b #cluster b pd #cluster b personality disorder #also im not trying to speak about this from a place of superiority #like i very much used to try and work within that framework and use this language too #ive used supply and narc rage to describe things #but the more i did and the more ive seen other people use it and it become the standard language #the more harm i think its doing and the more i think we all really shouldnt be using these words for our own sake

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violentviolette · 1 year

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listen i'm not trying to be a downer and a dick but also if u send me an anon asking about my favorite "aspd-core" songs im going to vomit profusely all over u like, obviously having songs that u feel relate to ur experience and to having aspd is a normal thing. people do this with everything and yea absolutely i have songs that i feel realte to my aspd and hit for me, thats literally what music is and does there's a song to relate to every single emotion and feeling known to man. but how yall talk about and phrase things is so telling of how u view them the fucking aestheticizing of cluster b pds and the way yall talk about this with words like core/culture ect. have turned these disorders into aesthetic identities and it makes me want to claw my fucking skin off. every single day in the tag i have to block another "cluster b culture is" blog because yall insist on doing this even when it makes absolutely zero fucking sense. there is no "culture" there is no universal shared expereince there is no shared identity there is no aesthetic or core because its just a collection of symptoms that are broadly similar but in practice are highly individual and personal like what is aspd-core? what does that mean? what are the core aesthetics that define aspd as a cultural identity? because thats what a "core" is. x-core just means an aesthetic identity with a shared cultural understanding. so explain to me what the shared cultural aesthtic identity of this mental disorder is without being ableist or stereotypical, instant fail if u mention blood even once. dont worry i'll wait.

it just makes no sense, is extreamly anti-recovery, and to be honest it makes u a really insufferably annoying person. because when u aestheticize them and turn them into a cultural identity with a shared experience that is a fundimental part of who u are, u completely fuck ur recovery. because the goal of recovery is to lessen and get rid of as many symptoms as possible and learn to cope with the ones that remain. but if ur symptoms are what make u who u are, then losing them means losing a part of urself or even ur entire self. so instead ppl will steadfastedly hold onto those negative symptoms that are causing them and everyone around them harm and will attempt to justify them by saying "these are good actually because they're a part of this shared aesthetic identity of who i am and therefore are an innate part of me that can never change" and thats just a fucking lie. u are deluding urself in order to justify the easier or more "fun" option, even when its clearly wrong

there is no cluster b aesthetic, there is no cluster b core, there is no cluster b culture. there is only a vaguely similar collection of overlapping symptoms caused by trauma. the minute u accept that its not that deep and its not who and all u are and stop building ur entire persona and sense of self around it is the minute u actually stop moodboard aestheticizing wallowing in misery and asking people stupid fkn questions like "what are ur favorite aspd-core songs"

#jack.speaks #aspd #cluster b #cluster b pd #cluster b personality disorder #actually aspd #im cranky so yall get a wall of text #call me pendantic and an asshole all u want but if ur using words like aspd-core im sorry ur either really stupid really toxic or both

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violentviolette · 3 years

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I have two cluster B disorders and I worry that I often subconsciously manipulate people in my life if that makes sense. Like I don't actively do it but I've caught myself before responding or doing things that are born from survival manipulation methods picked up over time. Is there any way to work myself out of this? Or be more proactive about it?

so firstly I'd say that imo manipulation requires intent. u can't unconsciously manipulate someone because manipulate means to be controlling something, u have to be doing it purposefully. oftentimes cluster b pds overestimate our own influence and ability. we blame ourselves for "manipulating" ppl when we actually arent doing anything at all and are over inflating our own part in a situation because we overestimate our own importance even in negative ways

that being said its absolutely possible to be treating people unfairly or abusively unconsciously and thats a big thing for a lot of cluster b pds because we dont realize that our thought process is disordered and so what seems obvious and reasonable to us is actually not healthy or okay

but its absolutely possible to stop doing this and correct those thoughts and patterns of behavior, habits like that are just that, habits. and while it absolutely takes time and effort retraining urself to respond differently and make better choices is definitely doable. a habit is whatever u practice, so u have to practice it for it to become routine

the biggest thing is to be consciously aware of ur thought process. often times we resort to these bad habits on impulse because we are very emotionally reactionary. so practicing forcing urself to take a step back and not respond until uve given urself time is really good. I started by forcing myself to wait an entire 5mins and then 10mins before I responded to things. esp if it made me feel an emotion I would legit set an alarm and time myself. this forced me to wait and collect my thoughts and ask myself how I wanted to respond and handle the situation and what was the healthiest thing to do

asking urself those kinds of questions helps a lot too. what is reasonable here? is this healthy? am i respecting their boundaries and agency? would i be okay if someone treated me this way? are there other options I'm not considering? does it help me achieve a longterm goal or a short term want? what kind of person do I want to be and is this response/action in line with that?

externalizing ur thought process like this helps a lot because it gives u the ability to really make thoughtful choices instead of impulsive reactions

our first instincts are often disordered so the best way to combat that is to not act on the first instinct and to become used to taking time to think thru our actions and decisions with more intent and thoughtfulness

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd tag #npd #npd tag #BPD #hpd #cluster b PD #cluster b personality disorder

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