#the card itself took me maybe 2 hours?

[acesammy]

Today I made an Espeon card while bored at work and I added a little animation to it.

#espeon #pokemon #my art #flashing #it's a little off bc i threw it together in the last 30 minutes of my shift lol #or the animation i did #the card itself took me maybe 2 hours?

[sunkissedchld]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔

the piles go from top left to right. so, the cartoon cat with a frog hat is pile i, the white cat by itself is pile ii, and so on and so forth.

take the time to close your eyes, breathe, and meditate on the PAC prompt, then open your eyes and let your guides lead you to the pile for you. i hope you enjoy!

PS. - this is my first PAC all on my own 😲 please let me know if it resonates with you! my ask box is open (even to anons)!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Focus" by Ariana Grande

"Next Level" by Aespa

Signs:

9, 17, 8, the golden children, pleiades, raphael, aphrodite, pluto, demeter, sagittarius

Reading:

from my personal deck, i noticed all the cards i pulled were pink with mainly blue writing. pink is associated with traits such as compassion, sympathy, romance, femininity, and timidness; blue on the other hand deals with trust, responsibility, calm, support, and confidence. you may have a balanced feminine and masculine energy; you might also be non-binary of somewhere on that spectrum.

the second house came out reversed, but later on the tenth house came out upright; the twelfth house also came out upright. there may be an ending to a flow of money coming in or a lack of money coming in. it could have to do with self-sabotage. maybe you feel under appreciated at your job or think you need to go into a new career field as this time. water came out in reverse, which could indicate fire. maybe something sparked a shift in you to where you feel or felt the need to leave your job recently because you realized it just wasn’t for you. marigolds also appeared, which represent death and despair, but also resurrection.

from the work your light oracle, i pulled the great gathering which pictures a group of people with cloaks staring at a larger piece of nature. logically, you may be thinking that this was not your smartest decision; maybe you left without notice or without a clear backup plan, but this immediate sense of needing to leave was intentional. your guides are laying down a foundation for what’s to come. maybe you were putting this transition off; you didn’t think you were quiet ready, or you didn’t feel comfortable exploring some other option independent from your 9-5. your guides took the situation into their own hands and released your restraints. to them, now is the time for you to do what you were thinking of doing - maybe starting your own business, finally taking the time to relax, or something of that nature.

the feeling is that whatever you felt the need to do needs to be done because it’s bigger than you and/or apart of you. maybe you need to heal your inner child or help others to do so. either way, there’s a major emphasis on healing and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable. now is the time to peruse whatever you thought of when you read this. go do it! your guides have already (or are working on) pushing you to do so, therefore it only makes sense to go ahead and follow through fully on your own terms.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Blue Hour" by TXT

"Day I Die" by DeathByRomy

Signs:

2, 7, 9, aries, saturn, heavy 2H placements - maybe a stellium in that house or taurus

Reading:

mercury in reverse but jupiter upright. you may doubt yourself or have trouble voicing your thoughts, but luck and higher opportunities are quickly on the way! i also pulled the fourth house, which leads me to believe you need to be focusing on self care and your emotions than you do right now. you might feel unstable or insecure right now, but in the near future you will feel secure and know what you’re meant to do.

right now, you’re not aligned in some way. maybe one or a few of your chakras are blocked. i kept sneezing a lot, so maybe it’s your throat or crown chakra? either way, you need to activate them and work on becoming more open and honest with yourself. furthermore, i’m 99% sure you know what you’re supposed to be doing. maybe you keep doubting it by thinking you’re not enough or playing down your self worth. this is your warning to stop. it’s not helpful, and it’s also not true. you’re unconsciously (and maybe even consciously) dimming down your talents because of this lack of trust. you are meant to be a leader or bring new ideas or consciousness to wherever you feel inclined to. prepare to be the leader you wish you had or want to be.

it’s not quite time for this transition into leadership to happen. as mentioned before, you’re not fully aligned and are still doubting your self, but as you work on those things, become more in tune, aware of, and honest with your emotions, and align your chakras, your guides will tell you little by little when it’s time. good luck!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Aurora" by Ateez

"Adore" by Ariana Grande

"Everyday We Fight" by Day6

"You Can't Win" from The Wiz

Signs:

3, 5, 7, 9, 9, 1212, orion, hadarian

Reading:

your guides are mad talkative lol. i feel like whatever is next for you is life changing. the houses that came out were the tenth, twelfth, seventh, and fifth! whatever your guides are planning will bring forth recognition, status, relationships (possibly even marriage), romance, and fun. although all this good will come through, it will only happen if endings, healing, and closure come before. there is a need for you to let go of something and be open to the new, even if you don't know the play-by-play of what's going on. i also think you don't need to search out these advantages that will come after some losses; it will automatically come to you as a result. there's a high emphasis on focusing on your goals. you may need to speak out about what you want as affirmations or manifestations. the universe needs to hear you.

the path set out for you is one where you need to take the lead in initiating it. the card i pulled literally says "if you knew you would be supported, what would you do?" your guides and ancestors are watching over you and guiding your success. you have absolutely nothing to worry about. please just go for whatever it is you want. i don't know how else to say that it's already yours if you desire it. i get the feeling whoever picks this pile is a starseed and/or more closely connected to their ancestors than most people. you might be an artist or a creative ad maybe want to work in the entertainment industry. go for it, babe!! go, go, go!!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"Scars" by Stray Kids

"Can't Stop" by Red Hot Chilli Peppers

"Just A Dream" by Nelly

"A Little Space" by Pentatonix and Ateez

"Queen" by Charm La'donna

Signs:

3, 4, 5, 9, heavy water placements, scorpio, cancer, virgo, capricorn, saturn, hardian, orion

Reading:

it seems like whoever chose this pile is in a lot of pain. some important phrases kept coming through: "i've cried hundreds of tears over you. i won't anymore - i refuse."; "i forgive you"; "it's okay to hate me for what i've done"; "watch out". the eighth house popped out, so maybe you recently lost someone or experienced a major change that you weren't expecting. i get the feeling you need to talk to someone. black came out in reverse, so maybe you've recently felt betrayed, pessimistic, or depressed. you may be feeling hatred towards whoever left, but you may also feel lost without them. similar to pile ii, i keep sneezing a lot, so maybe you need to properly align your throat and/or crown chakra.

although you're in pain, this situation of loss, betrayal, and pessimism is to help you vocalize your emotions and feelings. stop stifling your voice or allowing others to do it for you. you deserve to have your voice heard - to be recognized as a full human being like everyone else on this planet. take care of yourself. take a steaming bath, go get a massage, rest, sleep in. you deserve the same caring treatment you give to others, so give it to yourself.

there's also a feeling that you're ignoring something or it's unconscious to you for now. this is possibly another starseed pile. you're a born leader and deal with it in an unconventional way. i get the feeling you pour a lot of time and energy into others and because of this, there's a lack of boundaries that are severely needed. this may be the start of you notice the need for these boundaries. this is the time to learn from whatever loss or betrayal you've encountered and learn to not only place care into yourself, but also recognize when to pull it from others who take advantage of you.

read piles ii and iii if you feel drawn to either or both of them.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"Hallelujah" by Pentatonix

"Note To Self" by J. Cole

"God's Menu" by Stray Kids

Signs:

2, 5, 7, 9, libra, strong first, fourth, and eleventh house placements, moon dominance, neptune dominance

Reading:

two colors came out in reverse: blue and purple. with blue reversed, you may not currently feel protected or calm. maybe you're at a point in your life where things are sort of chaotic and therefore you feel vulnerable. with purple in reverse, i feel like you may feel as if things may be revealed even though you do feel this way. the color green came out upright, which means you may be feeling envious or judgmental as a whole. maybe you feel that you yourself are inadequate in comparison to others. i think you'll be figuring out who you define yourself as soon, and you may be making new friends because of this. raphael popped out, which indicates happy meetings. metatron came out too, so those two may be guiding you or trying to reach out.

there is an awakening coming up for sure. as opposed to the other piles, i think you may already be on your path, and now you're just tuning up things in order to be the best version of you. there's a calling to release the old version of you; maybe the envious, judgmental, chaotic person mentioned in the first half. of course, it's okay to express yourself and your feelings, but not everything others have is for you. you need to stop being so focused on the material things, on the small details, and instead think about the bigger picture. you already know that you're a leader, but you need to wield your leadership and power correctly or else it will backfire. overall, be more humble!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Water Me" by Lizzo

"If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys

"Answer" by Ateez

Signs:

2, 7, 8, strong jupiter and mars placements, possibly twelfth house placements

Reading:

your guides are also talkative lmao. something new is coming. although you might feel scared or unprepared, your guides are right with you (4/44/444). both demeter and uriel came out which leads me to believe you're in a period or about to be in a period where you're planting the seeds for your future. your guides are providing you with guidance, wisdom, and creativity that will be beneficial now and in your future; "is that what i taught you" popped up, so be sure to take mental (or physical) notes on things you feel strongly pulled to. with ares and violet upright, i get the feeling this new adventure will be something you'll go at with tenacity. you may not even know why you're doing it, but it will come to you naturally. it will be like your eyes are being uncovered to something you'll feel like you should've been doing your whole life. i get the feeling you may ignore important messages though. like in pile i, every blessing comes with a loss before or after. you may experience some sort of pain directly before or after this new revelation; don't let it sour your spirits though, just listen and talk to your guides about it.

your guides are really emphasizing the fact they are helping you to train and therefore, you need to listen. this is something you need to experience in order to get to wherever they need you to be. whatever it is may be karmic; it might also have to deal with your mother or the female figures in your life. this is somewhat confusing because there's so much news about new things and wisdom and protection, but there also seems to be a lot of talk about conflict and possible pain. i pulled the card "wait", so maybe you'll feel like you need to jump start whatever this new beginning is, but your guides are telling you that this is being run on divine timing - not yours. overall, have trust in them through the easy and tough times. they have the answers. i think they want you to reach out personally.

look at pile i also if you felt drawn to it.

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #tarotblr #sunkissedchld

[aroacehanzawa]

On Dazai, his heartrate, The Book, BEAST, and metanarratives (or: how we may or may not already know how it all ends)

Have you noticed that in the opening of season 4, Dazai is the only one who is shown to mouth along to the lyrics? Specifically, he mouths along to the last part of the line that goes something along the lines of "The context in which my soul beats, turn it into a heartbeat" (魂が打つ文脈、鼓動に変えてしまえよ (source)).

This is interesting, because as Ango established in episode 11, Dazai has been communicating with the outside world by adjusting his heartrate to encode deciphered messages. And i hate this plot point with a passion, hated it when it came up in the manga and still hate it after the latest episode, so i will cope by doing the following in this 3k word essay (which i wrote in about 5 hours on the day i have an actual real-world deadline):

Trying to figure out 1) what this skill of Dazai implies about his character and role in the overall story, and 2) how this implication is supported by the lyrics of the opening theme, "True Story" by SCREEN MODE, and 3) how this opening suggests a more intricate connection between BEAST and the main timeline, and 4) what all of this means for the current arc, the overall story, and the author(s).

I. The heartrate gimmick

The reason why i'm so put off by Dazai's superhuman ability to control his own heartrate is that this is the first time in the series where something significantly breaches the realm of plausibility which has so far been established in the universe of bsd. However, that in itself means that it may be a hint to a much bigger picture.

To start with, we've seen that human biology in bsd verse still follows the rules of our own world, and any anomalies can typically be explained by abilities, such as Kenji's superstrength. The same goes for non-human anomalies: instead of outright breaking the laws of known science, they are either some kind of manifestation of abilities or otherwise derived from abilities, such as skill weapons (like Well's time-manipulating camera, or Fukuchi's space-time sword. The plot of Fifteen and Stormbringer, even.)

Even Dazai and Fyodor's galaxy brain moments generally fall into the realm of possibility, like Fyodor memorising all the cards in Ace's deck based on their scratch marks, or Dazai predicting Sigma's rock-paper-scissors moves with Sherlock Holmes-esque deduction skills. (Dazai and Fyodor communicating in code based on their past conversations is something more unbelievable, so for now i'm putting that in the same category of unexplainable as Dazai's heartrate trick.)

The thing that bothers me is this: Ango says that Dazai's heartbeat trick is something only he can do, but it clearly doesn't fall in the realm of biologically possible as we know it (controlling heartrate to some extent maybe, but being able to encode complex messages like that?). We also already know Dazai's ability, so it can't be related to that. (Or do we? Dazai's ability in itself is a paradox, a non-ability, and that arguably places him outside the circle of typical ability-users.)

Now, when it comes to things that have gone beyond the general level of plausibility in bsd, it could be said that they are all somehow related to The Book: the reality-altering that took place when the ADA got framed, Sigma's existence and the Sky Casino, and BEAST. The island on which Yosano was stationed is possibly also related to The Book, as it apparently came out of nowhere and is surrounded by its own anomalous properties.

If so far all the discrepancies between our own world and the world of bsd can be traced to either abilities or The Book (even historical differences are caused by the overall existence of abilities), we can extrapolate that any unexplained phenomena can likewise be traced to one or the other. We know Dazai's ability, but that alone doesn't seem enough to explain Dazai, which leaves us with The Book.

I'm far from the first one to suggest that Dazai is somehow connected to The Book, and others have written some excellent theories about it, so i'll move on to my next point: the lyrics to the opening theme "True Story":

II. What exactly is the true story?

When i listed the known (or at least most significant, because i can't remember more) cases connected to The Book above, they are all significant plot points in season 4, except for BEAST. However, that may not be as obvious if we have a look at the lyrics of the opening theme.

I wont go into too much detail because i don't know any Japanese (i'm just referring to google translate as well as this fan translation of the lyrics) so if someone who knows the language decides to continue this analysis that would be amazing!

The first notable line is this: 何者でもない　白紙だった僕に　刻まれていくMy True Story ("To a blank page that wasn't anyone, my true story is etched" or "My true story is engraved on me, who was nothing but a blank page"). Here, the speaker is likened to a page of the book, something initially empty but given a purpose through the telling of a story. The reference to a blank page unmistakably reminds us of the page from The Book, that has played such a significant role all throughout this season.

I'm not going in order, so the next notable line i want to point out is: 魂が打つ文脈、鼓動に変えてしまえよ ("My soul reflects the context, turn it into a pulse" or "The context in which the soul beats, turn it into a heartbeat"). There is the clear mention of a heartbeat, and this is the line which we can see Dazai mouth along to in the opening, so let's continue by assuming that Dazai is the speaker in these lyrics.

While the song as a whole is very metaphorical and can be applied to a large part of the cast, it becomes more interesting for the purpose of this analysis if we take a more literal perspective, whilst simultaneously assuming that these are Dazai's thoughts.

Idk how to say this in a less convoluted way but: if Dazai's very existence, that is to say including his soul, is anomalous itself, then the superhuman manipulation of his heartrate could just be considered as one application of his existence. Or rather, of the context of his existence: something anomalous beyond abilities.

The mention of "context" is also interesting as something inherently tied to a story and storytelling. So far we have a page, a book, and a story, and they all point towards Dazai. Let's then assume that Dazai is indeed the speaker to whom the "blank page who wasn't anyone" is likened to, whether figuratively or literally.

The next line I want to bring your attention to is: 傍(かたわら)にいる　誰かを救うため　刻みこんでいくMy True Story ("To save someone who's by my side, I engrave (it into) my true story"). And this is where i'm going to bring up BEAST, a concrete example where Dazai has specifically succeeded in saving Oda by writing the plot of BEAST into existence in The Book or one of its pages.

If we then connect this line to the previous one with "my true story", we can say something like: Dazai saved someone important to him by writing his story onto a blank page not unlike himself.

In fact, he says so himself: 何者にも委ねないで　書き残せ自分自身で / ……書けるさ、魂を (Don't trust/entrust yourself to anyone, write it down yourself, write it down with your soul/write down your soul.") Here we get an implicit connection between writing down something, and doing so with one's soul, arguably with Dazai's existence (or writing down one's soul/being into existence, depending on what's the accurate translation).

Given the theme of The Book, we can't help but connect the act of writing to the act of reality-altering. Therefore, if we consider that Dazai writes i.e. reality-alters by either writing down his soul or by engraving a story into his soul, something akin to a blank page, we arrive at the conclusion that he is himself a reality-altering page like one in The Book.

The whole thing turns in on itself: Dazai does something external to affect the outside world, but that something is directed at himself. This circular or paradoxical nature is reminiscent of his own ability, which instead of manifesting outwardly like other abilities, is something that negates the outside, reverses an existence into an inexistence, even turns his own ability into a lack of one.

Now, an especially interesting line is this one: この命こそが文章-sentence-だ ("This life is the sentence") because the word "sentence" is intentionally sung in English, retaining its dual meaning of "a formally pronounced punishment" and "a cluster of words usually containing subject and verb".

For the first definition, there is obviously the prison sentence Dazai is currently iin, but you could also say that he considers his life a similar burden. For the second definition, does he mean his whole life has been written into existence in one sentence (knowing that it's possible to write a human into existence, if we take Fyodor's word for it when it comes to Sigma), or would it be more correct to assume that by "life" he means his and everyone else's life in the present timeline? Combining both definitions, we could even say that his life is a burden or an inescapable prison precisely on account of it having been brought into existence as a story.

Like i said, the "Dazai is the Book" idea is nothing new, but interpreting the lyrics in this way offers some interesting support to the theory, and will lead into what I want to say in the next part, which is how BEAST relates to all of this.

III. The role of BEAST

The refrain with which the song opens and is repeated several times is: 未(ま)だ語られない　物語の先へ　踏み出して征(ゆ)くのが勇気だ ("I still can't speak of the story ahead, it takes courage to take a step/to step forward and conquer"). This can be taken as apprehension towards the future, but there's something about the song that also makes it sound like Dazai already knows what's ahead, he just doesn't have the courage to say it.

Specifically, it's this line here: 出来過ぎた結末が　用意されてたって ("Even if the too perfect ending was prepared for me"). The lines following it are rather difficult to interpret through mediocre translations, but there's something about not being able to abandon ("it"? what? something or someone? "those who give up"?). We could continue with the interpretation that Dazai knows something about the future, about his ending, but there's actually another approach we can take.

I'm just spitballing here, but what was a more perfect ending for Dazai (whether prepared for him by an outside force or achieved with his own hand) than the one in which Oda lives and writes a book, and in which he himself gets the sweet release of death? Yet there's something he can't abandon - those around him, or life itself, or his own self that gave up.

I've heard the "main timeline is a prequel for BEAST" theory before and others may have also proposed what i'm going to say next, but i'll say it anyway: BEAST is the prequel to the main timeline. (Or better yet, it's both, with some variation. But that's too convoluted for now.)

The line that i mentioned before about "saving someone who's by your side" might hold the key to this idea, depending on how accurate the translation is and how we interpret it. It depends on if being "beside someone" is meant as like being with "someone important" or more like literally being next to someone, even being with them in life. Because as much as Dazai found the ending of BEAST as perfect as it could get, it is still not the same as being able to stand next to Oda in every sense of the word - at the same place, at the same time, in life, as friends, as equals.

Then there is this line: 自問自答を繰り返して　撰(えら)べ　本当はどう生きたいのか / 本性が知る解釈、根拠はそこにあるだろ (Unavoidable decisions, even if they are arranged, am I just a dull existence if I just accept them") where Dazai shows reluctance to accept something predetermined, "unavoidable decisions" such as those that would lead to either Oda or Dazai surviving but not both. There is also the implication of things being arranged by an outside force, so if we go with this assumption then the previously mentioned "perfect ending" could also be said to have been prepared for Dazai by this outsider, even if he presumably arranged it himself as he says.

And this is where we delve into the truly meta part of this analysis.

IV. The role of Dazai

First, I'm going to go back to the part where Dazai is shown to mouth along to the lyrics in the opening sequence. He is the only character to do so, effectively breaking the fourth wall by engaging with an anime opening theme, singing along to the line specifically mentioning a heartbeat, and saying out loud the lyrics that would otherwise be considered only as inner thoughts (like with character songs etc).

This is not the first time Dazai has shown to take on a role precariously close to directing the narrative. He does this explicitly in BEAST, whose universe exists because of his own meddling with reality. In the main timeline, his predictions and strategising border on the omniscient and almighty.

There is one significant line towards the end of True Story that is worth examining now: 今語る言葉　物語を創る ("The words I speak now create the story"). This line could mean that Dazai is currently crafting the story to save that someone, to create the life he wants to live etc etc everything that the song is about. But it could also be related to him specifically singing this song, the opening theme of Bungou Stray Dogs Season 4, and laying out the story that will take place this season.

All of these things add up if he truly is an existence beyond ordinary humans or abilities, like something intricately connected to The Book. That is because there is at least one more existence that's found these things - namely, the author.

With that in mind, if Dazai knows that the endings (of BEAST and/or of the main timeline) have been prepared for him by someone else such as the author, that could be the reason why he says the line "Don't trust anyone, write it down yourself" etc. To be precise, that could mean that Dazai acts as the "author" of the current arc in defiance of the true author (and the lyrics contain a lot about "truth" that i haven't touched upon at all).

But what does that mean in the long run? Is Dazai the author? Is Kafka Asagiri the final villain? Who is the mastermind? Idk, this is already the furthest my brain has gotten for now.

I do want to quickly mention an interesting discussion i saw recently about how the different instalments of bsd all have separate protagonists, who are not Dazai - yet Dazai remains this central character in all of them, somehow deeply rooted to the narrative yet standing at a distance from it. And that may be precisely due to his nature of being more than just a "character" of bsd as we know them.

So, to put together allllll of these different points and make sense of what i've been trying to say:

The existence of Dazai's character and abilities must be explained by something adjacent to The Book, or something even beyond the in-universe explanations.

Dazai is able to alter reality, either in his own right or with help from The Book (which may itself be connected to him) but the alterations he makes may have been compelled by a greater force.

In the event that BEAST acts as a prequel to the main timeline, Dazai's dissatisfaction with the pre-determined ending (and distrust of others) leads him to write his own story, in order to save someone important to him (Oda, if we take the word "someone" at face value, or it could be something more abstract like the value of his own life).

This act of writing with/into his soul relates to the reality-altering aspects of writing into The Book or its pages, so the entire main timeline can be considered as originating from words on paper following the events of BEAST.

Dazai goes from protagonist to author (which also explains his Godzai moments) but this very act pushes him outside of the story, thereby alienating himself from the circle of characters. Effectively, he has taken on all three roles of Reader, Writer, and Protagonist.

Then, how about the "we may or may not already know how it all ends" that i alluded to in the title of this post? Easy: it ends when Asagiri stops writing.

Sorry i couldn't keep out the Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint brainrot at the end there. But if you know what i'm talking about then you get it.

#my phd thesis also known as: the orvification of bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #osamu dazai #bungou stray dogs #me writing english essays on tumblr dot com for an audience of like 5 people #<- my neglected meta tag #bsd spoilers #bsd meta

[cosplayinamerica]

by Anna-Neko

Before all the endless online, digital everything, before FB and Insta, the “don’t u know how many followers…” & influencers nonsense, there was this man!

Kevin would take your photo, make small-talk & drop encouraging comments and make you feel a star! A former cosplay partner still fondly remembers how he would always know what she was cosplaying as! No matter how obscure! If he didn’t know the cosplay – he would ask about it! The interest always genuine. He seemed to remember everyone from con to con, and in later years when instead of running around he would set up a corner with a backdrop and do photos this way – he would jot down file numbers & email me full-size images after the event if asked.

So just a quick scene setting up. It is very easy to forget, but back then (1999 to maybe 2002~ish) there was waaaaay less conventions. There wasn’t an event happening every weekend, much less multiple events at same time! Digital cameras were not a thing. Well, obviously they existed, but your average otaku heading to an anime con might bring a cheap 35mm disposable camera (or maybe 3, if CVS had a multi-pack sale!).

Kevin’s FansView website was THE cosplay/cons site. He updated multiple times throughout the event, 2 or 3 times each day! There weren’t just photos of “hot people”, he tirelessly took photos of regular attendees, cosplayers of various ages and skill levels, guest & panel highlights…. If you weren’t lucky enough to be at the convention itself, seeing all his photos was the next best thing! In a few years we’d have con report galleries on Cosplay.com, Geocities and LinusLam …. but all these were _after the fact_, not during. Not quite the same, ya know?)

Even my mom knew his website, and during cons I’d call home during the weekend and she would excitedly tell me she was just on Kevin’s site and saw my photo!

Like, seriously…. we’d joke a con wasn’t a con until you either a) saw House of Anime truck in the parking lot, or b) ran into Mr Lillard.

Over the years there’s been all sorts of amazing run-ins with him. He would always make some jokes, and go above and beyond helping a fellow nerd – like the time my brand~new digital camera (in 2000! quite the expense!) suddenly died (6 AA batteries the monster ate) and he kindly tried to help me with both fresh batteries and advice, and when it looked like the camera wasn’t coming back he straight up took out his FILM CAMERA (again, this man was a pro! He always had a backup) and took photos of my cosplay and friends’, and handed me the finished roll

OR that other time my memory card was already full within literally first few hours of the convention (circa 2000, CompactFlash. Gigs? ha! Your PC might have 2 gigs hard drive and be a luxury. Memory cards ran in the Megabites) and this SAINT of a man helped by using HIS LAPTOP to let me clear out the card, email the zip file to myself then and there, and thus have memory space to take another 30~40 photos

or this Other OTHER time we were talking about shitty hotel hallway lights… And asked if he would mind popping with us outside real quick? He took the time to go! Outdoors into the sunshine! On the lawns by the hotel for a good 30 minutes! Thus giving us our first ‘proper’ cosplay photoshoot no less!! (freakin 2001, people!! pro~photoshoots or sheduling time-slots with an online-famous photog was not a thing. Not yet, not for another few years)

He made all us awkward weebs feel welcome from the get~go! Nobody had internet once left the house. No cellphones. Especially not a phone that could double as a hi-res camera. You came to the convention with a cheap disposable film camera, or none at all – hoping your friends brought one. Conventions didn’t have photo suites, no staff photogs… it was not a thing yet.

The other joke used to be “oh you’re at so-and-so con? Did you run into Kevin yet??” or “no no no, don’t change yet! We need to find Kevin!! You must be documented” (and if you had insane luck, you may even see that photo as convention cosplay coverage in an issue of Animerica months later!) For some of us, the only photos of those early costumes only exist because Kevin was there to take it.

#cosplayhistory

#cosplay #cosplay history

[moonlight-tmd]

bee seems like the type to be tricked into a date, that can be shock or blitz if ya like. maybe prowl too but he doesn't seem like he'd do that and you already made a fic similar to it :p

Hahah yeah! That reminds me of a BlitzBee fic i read about Bee being taken hostage on a "date" with Blitz.

I had an idea similar to this about ShockBee... or LongBee? Either way-

I imagine Bee and Longarm are like the best buddies but in a different way; Longarm loves to mess around with Bee, he has to be careful to not slip while on the job, he retains his stoic and serious attitude when someone's around but the moment he's alone with Bee and possibly Bulkhead his personality takes a nearly 180 degree turn. It's especially fun when he's all alone with Bee and he can say stuff no one will judge him for, stuff that he only wants Bee to hear.

I imagine he visits Team Prime on Earth at least once a month to hang out with Bee and Bulk and possibly get some datawork and reports exchanged. Whenever he visits he always brings something for Bee and Bulk to enjoy, which is most often food and similar.

One time however he brought tickets to the Grand Prix of Cybertron for himself and Bee to go to. He said the tickets sold out so fast that he only managed to grab the last, which might have been somewhat true but he really wanted to spend some time alone with Bee. He remembered the scout tell him that he wished to go see it one day back when they were in boot camp. So he used his Prime privileges and got 2 VIP tickets.

Either way Bulkhead didn't mind not going, he wasn't a fan of big events like that anyway. Bee was so hyped about it he would not shut up, literally... and he had less that 20 hours to pack up cuz they were leaving tomorrow morning.

The Grand Prix usually lasts for 3 cycles, which is about the same time as Earth's week. And so, everyone bid their temporary goodbyes, Sari defo "threatened" Longarm to take care of Bee for her, she was also jealous that she couldn't go and see it too. I imagine Jazz was a temporary fill-in for the gap in the team.

So they set off and arrived on Cybertron- damn, it hasn't changed a bit from when Bee last saw it. Still, it felt like he was on a completely new planet he's never been to.

Longarm had a reservation in a hotel close to the stadium, they had one room with 2 berths and attached washroom. Bee had a tough time deciding what to pack or not- it came down to him packing only essentials cuz Longarm told him they'll get stuff on Cybertron too.

The first cycle arrived, they went to the stadium earlier and took the seats in the VIP lounge with other bots as the opening of the event played out. After the first competitions were done Bee and Longarm went to wander around the city- but before that they bumped into a group of the other 'bots Longarm knew. Other Primes and high-ranking autobots, even some Elite Guard members. Bee met a lot of new people.

So they went to wander around, Bee took a lot of pictures to show his team on Earth. After buying few stuff for themselves from other shops, they ended up in a souvenir shop, Bee wanted to buy gifts for the others- everything was themed after the Grand Prix: he got special fuel-cube (mug) for Ratchet, a planner for Optimus, some picturesque post cards for Bulkhead, a stadium statuette for Prowl- the building itself kinda looked like a tree and a back-window decor for Sari, although for her it would be a necklace with a very cool galaxy-themed pendant. He picked for himself and Longarm a little holo-pics of the Grad Prix logo that slowly spun. Bee was about to pay when he realized that yes, he is kinda rich- but in human money. He didn't have any credits to his name on Cybertron. There was this short awkward moment between the cashier and him before Longarm paid for the stuff. Bee felt so bad but Longarm said he didn't mind spending his savings on Bee.

Another cycle rolled by and more competitions were held. Longarm decided to take Bee to some restaurants so they went and had a full-blown spa. Bee has never felt so relaxed. (and yes, he did quote the "2 bros chilling in a hot tub" meme, Longarm was kinda confused but brushed it off when Bee said it was a human joke)

At the end of the solar cycle they ended up in a high-end bar, Bee and Longarm got drinks and they had a very good time. There was karaoke event happening and in a moment of confidence and influence of high grade he decided to participate. He sang "Celestial" by Ed Sheeran and while the music on Cybertron was different from Earth's the audience enjoyed the show nonetheless. Little did Longarm know that the song was dedicated to him...

After they went back to their shared hubsuite, Longarm woke up in the middle of the lunar cycle. Bee was missing from his berth, it didn't take long before he found him though. He was sitting on the balcony with his headphones, looking at the few stars that shone on the polluted sky. If he listened closely he would heard faint Earth music coming from the headphones that were connected to the robot-sized mp3 player.

"Why are you out here?" Longarm asked as he sat down next to Bee.

"Oh- sorry. I didn't meant to wake you up." Bee smiled apologetically and took off his headphones. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just can't recharge." Bee answered. "Well, if you can't recharge then I can't either." Something was clearly bothering Bee, Longarm wasn't gonna leave him alone with it. "Something's bothering you, I can see."

"It's nothing." Bee only said, a hint of sorrow in his voice that Longarm didn't miss. "If it's making you not want to recharge then it's not nothing... c'mon, you know you can tell me."

After a short hesitation Bee finally told him. "I miss Earth."

"Oh." Longarm was surprised, he didn't expect this to be the reason Bee was sad.

"Yeah... I mean, Cybertron's cool and all- it's where I come from. But Earth is something different. There's so much amazing stuff there; fun activities, new cultures, impressive structures and way more... When I'm on Earth I feel like I can really be myself and not be judged for it... Earth is my real home." Bee explained, he focused his gaze up on the sky as he spoke, one could think he was trying to see said planet in there, even if it was galaxies away.

They chatted for a bit, somehow they ended up cuddling on the balcony watching the sky before going back in to recharge.

The final cycle of the Grand Prix rolled in and the final competition was a big race. Bee was the most excited for this part, he loved racing himself, he kind of wished he could participate in it.

It was amazing, the thrill was unmatchable. Once the winner emerged, Longarm took Bee to take pictures with the competitors- they were all famous in some way, the winner was actually a racer for a living. Bee had the best selfie with her and Longarm.

There was a short afterparty for the Grand Prix, Bee and Longarm stayed for a bit before leaving. They took a longer route back thru one of the less active part of the city, it was surprising but Cybertron actually had its own version of parks with statues and twisty structures that were supposed to mimic vegetation. There was also a makeshift river going thru the one they walked in right now.

They talked, Bee said how happy he was to be here and spend time with Longarm. Longarm was also happy to hang out with Bee... a step closer towards Longarm, a glance a little too long at Bee- the scout almost tripped and nearly fell because of some stray metal rod, but Longarm caught him... and so they found themselves walking back to their rented hubsuite servo in servo. Right before Bee had to get in a rented ship to take him back to Earth, Longarm gave him one more thing- a little crystal that seemed to have all the colors in the world in it. Bee almost felt unworhty of such gift but the way Longarm spoke to him about it and why he got it for him made him feel grateful to know such generous bot like Longarm.

When Bee came back to the Earth base it was kind of a mess- Sari coaxed the others into throwing a small welcome back party for Bee and somehow the decor ended up catching on fire... they made even more of a mess while trying to put it out. Yeah, Bee could not have been laughing harder.

He helped them clean up, after that he gave them the souvenirs and showed pictures- which might have been a mistake cuz among the pictures there was a video of him drunkenly singing at a bar. Not that is was bad, he was an amazing singer- it's just he didn't know Longarm even recorded this... The others didn't even tease him cuz they were so impressed he could sing that good.

This is the only thing I could think of when you said "tricked into a date". I suppose it's more of a "secretly a date that turned into an actual date".

Now hold on cuz there is a continuation to this!

After the whole deal with Longarm and Bee going on Grand Prix, Bee has found himself looking at the little crystal he got more than he expected. Whenever he did that there was a weird feeling in his Spark and an image of Longarm giving it to him. I imagine It was late autumn when they left for Grand Prix so Christmas wasn't far off.

Longarm did visit few days before the holiday and unknown to everyone, he left his own gift in the secret stash of gifts Bee prepared for everyone. When the time came and everyone got their gifts Sari pointed at the additional one, it was adressed to Bee from Longarm.

It was a sturdy but small case with some engravings. When Bee opened it he was met with a beautiful golden crown- it was subtle in design but very elegant with crystals that matched his optics and made his horns seem longer. It wasn't just any crown- it was the very same crown Bee saw on a display of a very pricy accessory shop when he and Longarm were wandering around the city. He was so enchanted with it... he never would have guessed Longarm would give it to him as a gift. The others were confused and slightly concerned at his wide-optic expression before he gently took the item out to show them and put it on. They all had wide optics.

In the case was also a letter, it said "read silently" on the top- a sign for Bee to keep whatever was inside to himself. He read the letter and his expression softened before turning into a wide smile with a giggle. No matter how much Sari asked what was in the letter he never told before hiding it in his subspace. The others could only guess what was written in it.

Once the night came and everyone was in recharge, Bee snuck out of the base and drove to a secluded spot mentioned in the letter- the letter itself was a love confession. Words that Longarm- that Shockwave, was too shy to tell in front of Bee neatly written down on a piece of Cybertronian paper. Feelings and passion as well as sincerity and trust put into each of them along with an invitation- Longarm wanted to meet up with Bee all alone the same night he got the gift. The crown was supposed to interpret how important Bee was to him. The letter was written in a way that Bee understood his own feelings towards Longarm, he couldn't wait to see him again.

Bee was pleasantly surprised when he saw a picnic out in the snow under a makeshift ice gazebo. (Yes, Shock paid Blitz to make it, he didn't tell why and paid even more for Blitz to not ask any questions.)

It was so pretty, everything was coated with sparkles from frost and decorative lamps, Bee was wearing the crown he got which made him look even more stunning.

Bee teased Longarm a little for not saying it himself but he really didn't mind. They spend the night together, monching on fancy snacks and drinks, they even slow danced- the fact it was drizzling snow made it even more special.

Of course, Blitzwing when making the gazebo had a feeling Shockwave was gonna use it for some romantic purpose so he secretly put a mistletoe in one of the arches- and under that arch Bee and Longarm stood at the end of the night. It might have been a cheesy romantic movie moment but neither of them disliked it. Longarm didn't know something from human relationship culture can feel so good.

It took nearly 2 days of Sari being suspicious and Bee acting oddly giddy for her to sit him down on the couch and accuse him of being in love.

"Yes, and? What's wrong about it?" Bee have said while crossing his arms. Sari was flabbergasted, she honestly didn't expect him to admit it on the first try. She assumed he was gonna defend himself in some way. Others were surely surprised to know Bee and Longarm were now dating but they were happy for them.

Aaand that's it! I hope you enjoyed my little story for this ask.

On the side note: Bee keeps the case with the crown in a hidden spot in his room that only he knows about, he wears the crown only for special occasions like Christmas or fancy dates with Longarm.

#maccadam #tfa #ask box #shockbee #long post

[typingatlightspeed]

TF2 Fanfic - Someone Else's Song Chapter 2

A whole week of cracking away at N.G.'s mystery letter yields no leads, so Spy creeps out of his smoking room to put boots to pavement and do some more hands-on espionage. Meanwhile, Engie has some meaningful conversations about his chances.

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Ao3 Link!

Really want a grilled cheese after writing this chapter tho. :/

---------

Spy awoke with a snort, lifting his head from the surface of his desk, a small piece of notepaper stuck to his chin by a patch of dried drool. He swatted it away and tugged the handkerchief from his pocket, using it to wipe his face. He checked his watch. Eight A.M. He sighed. He had fallen asleep sometime before late night had transitioned to early morning, it seemed. His eyes scanned the desk in front of him.

The surface was scattered with papers. Laying at its centre was original letter itself, which had been tested with every solution to reveal invisible ink that Spy could think of. Sitting around were several copies penned by Spy with different notes and marks calling out different letters, words, and turns of phrase, no definitive patterns to be found. Keys for every major cipher in common and uncommon use decorated the periphery. Several examples of the other mercenaries' handwriting were stacked up to be analyzed versus the two letters that N.G. had written, to try and eke out anything from the deeply opaque clue. Spy leaned back in his chair and stretched, having been hunched over for hours. With a weary groan, he took out and lit a cigarette. He puffed a long drag and looked dimly at his fruitless work.

It had been days of this, hammering away at a diamond with a chisel made of tin, no closer to an answer than when he'd picked the letter up in the first place. Staring bleary-eyed at his work wasn't about to spontaneously spawn epiphany. He needed to stretch his legs. And get a coffee. And a shower.

Engineer's work stool had been squeaking near-constantly for the past hour. He wasn't even aware of it, but it was doing it, and constantly. The heel of his boot rested hooked on the bar that circumnavigated the stool's legs, forming a footrest for the man perched atop it, and the toe of that boot was bouncing, making the stool squeal with each jerky movement. Engineer did not notice this. He was too engrossed in the project on his drafting table. Or more accurately, with what was churning away inside his brain while he pretended to be able to get any work done at said drafting table.

The slam of gloved hands on his workbench startled him out of his reverie, and he looked over to see Pyro glowering at him, an oxyacetylene torch clamped to the bench and lit, a small pile of cinders beside it. Engineer reeled back in spite of the good ten feet that separated them. "Somethin' wrong?"

"I'm trying to burn things over here, but bouncing your leg is making that chair sound like we've got upstairs neighbours that just learned what sex was! If you don't stop that racket I'm going to burn down this entire base, starting with myself."

A sheepish smile crossed Engineer's face, and he stilled his leg. "Sorry, Py. I'm just awful wound up."

"I couldn't tell," Pyro shot back, hands settling on his hips. "Spy, huh?"

"It's been a doggone week and he's been playin' it so close to the chest he may as well start coughin' up cards." He shook his head, setting his pencil down and pulling off his hardhat to scratch at his stubbly scalp.

Pyro took a moment to turn off the oxyacetylene torch and flopped onto a rolling stool, gliding over to his friend. "You think he's figured it out?"

"If he has, he ain't said a word about it." Engineer sighed, shaking his head. "Which feels about as good as just bein' shot down, if I'm honest. Maybe I should just be glad he was tactful enough to not just turn me down in front of everyone, or make fun of me for it."

"That's an awful thing to think about the guy you've got a crush on," Pyro chastised.

"It ain't a crush!" Engineer barked. "It's just...interest. Attraction."

"Attraction you expressed by writing him a love letter."

"It was your idea!"

"It's a crush."

"You make me sound like a damn teenager findin' out what love means for the first time."

Pyro tilted his head to the side. "Is that how Spy makes you feel?"

Engineer went silent, considering that for a moment. He sighed. "Fair enough."

A giggle bubbled its way out of Pyro's mask, and he gently clapped his hands in delight. "But here's the thing: Spy, for all of his class and charisma, is pretty forthright. He wouldn't just let things lie. If he wanted to reject you, he'd communicate it somehow , regardless of what level of cruelty he chose to use, right?"

"I s'pose."

"So that means somehow he still hasn't figured the damn thing out a whole week later. I think you covered your tracks too well somehow."

Engineer couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Spy's the kind o' fella who reads so far past the surface he drowns in the details. He'd cut a tree in half to count the rings without even realizin' he's in a damn forest. If I know him half as well as I hope I do, he's probably been burnin' the midnight oil when the answer's plain as day in front o' him."

"Is Spy really that dumb?"

"He ain't dumb at all," Engineer said warmly, a laugh threatening to edge into his voice, "he's too smart's the problem.

*

"I tell you this," Heavy said, setting down his bottle of oil and picking up a rag. "After you use mayonnaise, you will not use butter again. It is life-changer."

Sniper frowned, shaking his head. "I dunno, mate. Mayo for a grilled cheese?"

"I did not believe at first either. But it brown more even, make flavour more...," the giant searched for the right word, "rich? I think is how to say?"

"Yeh," Sniper confirmed with a nod, finishing laying out the pieces of his rifle on the worktable of the armory. "Right, next time you're fixin' one, throw one on for me. I'll try it. If I like it, I'll teach you my special grilled cheese recipe."

"Special grilled cheese?" Heavy asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"The secret is ham, apples, and a runny fried egg," Sniper said with a conspiratorial grin. "But you gotta poach the apples in cinnamon and sugar first, so it's almost like applesauce or pie fillin' without the corn starch."

"Is sandvich really still grilled cheese at this point?"

"Dunno, but what I can tell you is that it's delicious."

"Will keep this in mind," Heavy agreed with a nod. If making Sniper a normal sandwich got Sniper to make him a fancy sandwich, he wasn't about to turn it down. Especially if ham was involved.

Spy suppressed a sigh. He stood, cloaked, leaning against the door to the armory as his teammates chatted sporadically as they maintenanced their guns. Everyone made time to clean and work on their weapons at some point every few days, though Heavy was a fixture, pampering his darling Sascha as a daily ritual and making him easy to find for anyone seeking him out. It was one of the rare times one could catch the giant for a casual conversation.

Apparently this time, Sniper had seen fit to use his time with Heavy to talk about food. It was one of the universal languages, Spy supposed.

It didn't help him at all in his effort to eavesdrop on the team for clues, though. At least, not until...

Sniper looked back over his shoulder, and Spy froze, invisible and silent and far enough away that any lingering scent of smoke on him wouldn't be detected. "So, you think Spy's cracked the code yet?"

Heavy chuckled. "Don't know. There are many common ciphers used. He has lot of work to do to eliminate them all."

"Probably spent the whole week neck-deep in cryptography for nothin'."

Heavy shook his head. "It is funny. Spy is too smart to be so stupid sometimes."

Spy frowned at the insult, trying not to let it bother him too much. Heavy didn't know enough English to speak delicately.

"Look how his kid turned out. Apple don't fall too far from the tree."

"You are mean to Scout. Thought you are Scout's friend."

Sniper shrugged with a laugh. "Mate, if anyone's qualified to rib the little gremlin it's 'is mates. I'd expect no less from 'im in turn."

Heavy shook his head, realizing that perhaps he'd spent so long only socializing with his family that the urge to banter had grown rusty. Certainly, he remembered teasing his friends in college mercilessly, and laughing when they did the same in kind. "This is fair."

"Either way, I hope all of this gets figured out soon, else N.G.'s gonna 'ave a heart attack from waitin' on tenterhooks." Sniper took up the barrel of his rifle in one hand. "Pass that brush?"

Heavy handed his teammate a brush with a nod and a grunt, and silence fell as they worked.

Spy lingered a little longer, but soon slunk away with a silent sigh. It seemed like Heavy and Sniper had an idea of who this mysterious N.G. was, that it was neither of them, and from the way they spoke, it was an obvious thing to them. He didn't know whether he should be insulted or not, stymied in the search as he was. The way they talked, it was clear that he was looking too hard , which only frustrated him more. Had he wasted all of his time on a line of thought that lead nowhere?

Fine.

If cryptography would get him nowhere, he would do things the old-fashioned way: pure surveillance. Already, skulking him in the shadows had gotten him that much, a half-step closer and Sniper crossed off the list, so perhaps it was time for a bit of the human touch.

*

Coffee. Medic needed coffee. Those chupacrabra kidneys weren't going to be used to filter irradiated echidna blood on their own, and Medic just knew his hands weren't going to be steady enough for the suture work he'd need to do after an all-nighter unless he had at least a little more caffiene to keep him going. Once he had the data he needed he could finally crash out and sleep. Just a little longer.

With a yawn, he pushed open the door to mess, a little surprised to find Spy there, leaning against the counter on which the communal industrial-sized coffee maker sat, an overlarge mug in his hand. He looked almost as tired as Medic felt, and judging by the dark circles under his eyes, he, too, had been neglecting sleep in the pursuit of knowledge. Medic smiled fondly and waved as he approached.

"Spy! It is nice to see you outside of the battlefield for the first time this week," he teased, snagging a mug and dumping an unconscionable amount of sugar into it before filling it with coffee. "You've spent so much of your liberty time working in your office, I was worried you'd turned into me!" He tittered, then added milk enough that the beverage began to match his skin tone, and snatched a spoon to stir it with.

Spy tried and failed to not make a face as he watched Medic mangle his coffee. "It is a smoking room, but you're not incorrect. I have been working, though the way I currently feel, I can no longer say it is tirelessly."

Medic grinned at that, a soft, "hoo," of a laugh puffing out of him. "So how does the search for your secret admirer go?"

"Secret admirer; you make it sound like we're children."

"You received a love note from someone with a crush on you."

Spy pouted in reply.

Medic tittered. "It's sweet, really. Romance is childish, isn't it? At it's root?"

"Your idea of romance is very different from mine, then."

"Think about it: Naked emotion making your heart race, your palms sweat, your brain positively swim with oxytocin, manifesting as giddy delight? Your body's reaction is as brazen and free of guile as children speaking plainly, 'I like you,' wouldn't you say?"

Spy eyed Medic for a long moment, waiting for some unhinged or dismissive follow-up. When none came, he shrugged a shoulder. "Fair enough, I suppose." He sipped his coffee, sneaking a sidelong glance at his companion, a bit disarmed by the fanciful soft side he had revealed.

Was he wrong in discounting Medic so swiftly? What if it was him? Would it be so bad, to be loved by a man who could heal your every wound, every ailment, make you stronger, faster, better, more healthy and hale than nature could ever offer of its own accord?

In sickness and in health indeed.

But Medic was married to science. It was his husband, his work his wife. His greatest passion could never be devoted to a mere man, no matter how extraordinary. A lover would have to be satisfied always being the runner-up in Medic's heart and life.

Spy couldn't imagine being satisfied with that. Even he had tried to put his work aside once, his love of a woman far stronger than the love of his life's calling. Sadly, that calling was not about to be so quickly turned aside.

But he couldn't blame Medic, either. Brilliance often brought with it a certain single-mindedness. Medic and his experiments. Heavy and his guns. Only Engineer seemed able to pull himself away from his hyperfocus, powerful and self-destructive as it was, still taking time for playing guitar and cookouts and nights sitting under the stars, enjoying the quiet beauty of nature when he thought the rest of the team had gone to bed and he'd been left alone to his own devices, unaware that Spy would often rest against the wall beside the door to the porch, cloaked and sharing in the moment of peace. Each man contained multitudes, but only Engineer could pull himself away from his work with enough regularity to place that fact on display. And rustic though he may be, Spy couldn't deny that there was a bucolic charm to his non-work interests.

Spy looked back to Medic, who was smiling at him over the rim of his mug. He realized that he'd been caught spacing out for a moment as his brain churned away. Medic tittered as their eyes met.

"I almost forgot: there is also the telltale rush of blood to the capillaries of the face, causing erubescene," he teased, "or blushing , as you might know it." He gestured gently to Spy, who realized to his own dismay that his cheeks had grown hot as his mind had drifted.

Spy cleared his throat, straightening his posture like it would hide the pink peeking above his mask from the taller man. "Yes, well, thank you, Docteur. But I should be getting back to it. Mysteries do not solve themselves."

Medic took another sip to contain his giggles. "Of course! Good luck, Spy, and I hope the real thing turns out as lovely as your fantasies!"

Spy grumbled out a vague thanks as he set down his empty mug and slunk out of the room in a small huff.

N.G. definitely wasn't Medic. He got far more enjoyment out of needling him, both literally and metaphorically, than any romance would offer.

*

Scout sat back from his drawing, pen tapping against his lip as he regarded the shape of the car he was sketching out. Something wasn't right, but he couldn't place what. Then again, he also wasn't used to drawing at a forty-five degree angle. "Draftin' tables are weird," he said, looking past said drafting table to where Engineer was seated on a rolling shop stool, hunched behind a dispenser, its wires spilling out as he went at something inside with a pair of pliers.

"Takes some gettin' used to, I'll admit," Engineer replied absently.

"Yeah."

Silence fell for a long moment as Scout scratched down a few more lines onto his notebook. "So, you bend Spy over the workbench yet?"

Engineer dropped his pliers, sputtering in surprise, his face going red in an instant. "What the hell is wrong with you askin' somethin' like that?"

"Seriously? No? Don't tell me 'e still ain't figured it out! Shit, man, you might as well just tell 'im at this point, if 'e's too dumb to pick up on it after a whole-ass week."

"He ain't dumb."

"Yeah okay," Scout snorted.

"It also ain't your business."

"Why not? Man, if two 'a my coworkers're gonna be all kissyface an' shit all the time an' bangin' in the off hours in the base where we all live which ain't got soundproofin' , that's gonna turn into my business at some point. What if Spy's a screamer? Especially with what you're packin'!"

"...what I'm packin?" "We all shower together; ain't nobody not noticed you swing pipe, Engie."

"You little pecker checker."

"I was scopin' out the competition."

"Competition for what?"

"I dunno; not Spy though, I'll tell you that. He's your problem. Least, he will be once you just go nut up an' tell 'im."

Engineer set down his pliers and stared hard at Scout. "Like how you told Miss Paulin'?"

Scout stammered a bit before crossing his arms across his chest. "This ain't about me."

"First time you've ever said that about anythin'," Engineer shot with a smirk.

"Look, I don't get why you're into 'im, but you are. A guy don't write another guy a freakin' love letter if 'e ain't down bad for 'im."

"The letter was Pyro's idea. Said 'e was sick of watchin' me pinin' away in silence. And now I'm in this mess."

Scout smiled a little at that. It explained a lot. A love letter didn't really seem Engineer's style, which probably wasn't helping Spy solve things. "What, were you just never gonna say nothin'?"

"Spy's a refined fella. He wouldn't go for a country boy like me if I just up and said somethin' to 'im."

"You kiddin' me? You've got more PhDs than there are guys on base! You can play guitar! Chicks dig smart artsy guys."

"Scout, Spy's a man."

"Do guys who like guys dig smart, artsy guys?" Scout asked, rolling his hand like he was waiting for Engineer to catch up with him.

Engineer stared for a long moment, unable to argue. "S'pose so."

"See? Look just 'cause you're all yee-haw an' axle grease don't mean that ain't what 'e's into, Eng. Like yeah, I bet he'd totally wanna bang a dude just like 'imself, but maybe that ain't all, yeah? Maybe he likes a guy who's stronger an' more manly than 'im, yanno? Hold 'im in 'is big arms, make 'im feel safe..."

Engineer lifted an eyebrow.

"I mean girls like that, so maybe guys who like guys do?" Scout recovered, gesturing broadly with his arms.

"Maybe they do," Engineer huffed out with a laugh. Scout was right. It was entirely possible that Spy would be interested in what he had to offer. He was aloof, but that didn't mean he didn't find anything attractive in any of them The man maintained a standoffish facade with the whole team, buts it was his own brand of professionalism, likely to make up for what an immature little shit he could be on the field when he thought nobody was looking.

Engineer was looking, and what he saw made him laugh. It was endearing, really, to see the cool, aloof cat of a man doing voices and chucking insults the same as the rest of them. He wasn't really above it all, in spite of how he tried to play.

"Look, I ain't got a dog in the race, Eng. So I can tell ya square: anyone with eyes can see you're a catch, man. You're built, you're handy, you play guitar an' sing an' know how to cook. Plus, you're rich. Like crazy rich. Like not just built yourself up rich but Daddy's Money rich on top 'a that. Fuck around money rich. If you were into girls they'd be tearin' each other's hair out tryin' to get to you! An' I bet Spy sees that too. Guy sees everythin', yanno?"

Engineer chuckled at that. Scout wasn't exactly great at navigating it, but the spirit was there, and he appreciated being hyped up a bit. "Thank ya kindly," he said demurely, laying a hand over his heart. "But him seein' everythin's why I ain't piped up yet. I want 'im to figure it out, act on 'is own initiative. Ain't the same if I confront 'im with it, feels like. Plus, the man loves his ego stroked. Bein' able to solve the puzzle'll go toward that, I reckon."

"I don't get it. Figured with guys you could just circumvent all that pussy-footin' around shit. 'Hey, gorgeous. We both got dicks; wanna do it?'"

"And that's why you ain't had a date of any gender long as I known you."

"Man, I ain't had a date 'cause we're stuck livin' in a base in the middle 'a fuckall nowhere!" Scout barked, indignant. His expression turned to a pout as the only reply he received was Engineer's signature wheezy chuckle.

*

"We're bloody terrible at this game," Demoman huffed, watching his horseshoe land a full foot away from the stake.

"You have no depth perception, of course you're terrible!" Soldier barked, lining up his shot. He let his horseshoe fly, only for it to overshoot the stake by at least two feet. "Too much mustard on that one."

"And ye can barely see out from under the brim o' that helmet," Demoman huffed. "I'll have ye ken me aim's close enough. Can hit a runnin' Scout with a pipe at twenty paces nae danger!"

"I thought close enough was supposed to work for horseshoes and hand grenades! You're one for two, maggot!" "Shut it!" Demoman's lip curled up into a snarl as he lined up his next shot. He swung his arm and released the horseshoe, which fell limply to the dirt just barely inside of the pit, two and a half feet from the stake. "Crud!"

Soldier hacked out a laugh, doubling over to brace himself on his thighs to keep standing.

Demoman stood there pouting at him, arms crossed over his chest. 'I'm too sober's the problem. Nae had a drink in almost an hour. The double vision's the trick, ye ken."

Spy watched from the porch, posted against one of the supports holding up its bockety, sun-rotted roof. He was getting fidgety from spending a while without cigarettes, trying not to get made by scent, but he kept his shaking hands hidden in the pockets of his trousers. The last thing he wanted was to jitter so much that the motion of his cloak could be seen.

As expected, there wasn't much to eavesdrop on with Demoman and Soldier, the two of them spending most of their words to roast one another with the sort of viciousness only close friendship could elicit. It did warm Spy's heart a bit, in spite of it all. At least that whole business with the BLU Soldier hadn't dulled this friendship or made things awkward. Though he suspected neither man had the emotional intelligence to realize why it could get weird. Ignorance may truly be bliss after all.

Either way, while it was certainly entertaining to watch, it wasn't really getting him anywhere. He suspected as much, but due diligence made it just seem right to see if two of the most loose-lipped men on the team would let anything slip. Given Demoman's known interest in men, it could make him more prone to gossiping about the base's newest potential homosexual romance.

Assuming Spy was right and he hadn't written the letter himself.

With a sigh, Spy pushed off of the support, deciding to cut his losses and go try to see if he could talk Pyro in enough circles to spill something. The arsonist clearly knew something, or at least liked the drama enough to be working on figuring it out as well. Either way, it was likely to be more fruitful than watching the most tragic lawn game he'd ever witnessed.

A creak sounded from the old, dry-rotted wood. Then the roof groaned . Spy's head snapped back to look up a moment before a rotten chunk of the structure fell. He leapt, rolling across the concrete paddock of the porch, and narrowly missed the rain of wood and shingles as the whole corner of the roof gave way and collapsed with a clatter and crunch. His cloak sputtered and dropped, leaving him on one hand and his knees, staring wide-eyed at the wreckage.

"Oi! Spy! Ye alright?" Demoman called, jogging over.

"Y-yes, thank you," Spy replied, climbing to his feet and dusting off his trousers.

"Knew that thing's days were numbered, but I didnae realize just how close tae the end it was," the bomber mused, looking over the damage.

"Why didn't Engie fix it?" Soldier asked, ambling over, utterly calm.

"'Cause he fixes everythin' else on this bloody base, and he cannae be everywhere all the time," Demoman reasoned, a bit shamefully.

"He's reliable and capable, but even he is but one man," Spy mused, taking out a cigarette and lighting it with relief. If his hands weren't already shaking, they definitely would be now.

"We need two of him," Soldier concluded, slapping his fist down into his open palm.

"How're ye gonnae do that?" Demoman replied with a smirk, egging Soldier on.

"He could make a clone of himself! I bet he could reprogram Respawn to do it!" Soldier grinned broadly, proud of his idea.

"Aye, that's definitely how that works." Demoman rested his hands on his hips and had a chuckle. "So Spy, ye out here eavesdroppin', or was that," he gestured to the wreckage that was the corner of the porch, "just a wee coincidence."

Spy sighed. Demoman was too canny for his own good sometimes. "If you're accusing me of dropping eaves, I assure you, that ," he, too, gestured to the destroyed porch roof, "was not my intention."

Demoman whooped out a laugh at that. "Ye should banter more, Spy. Ye got the touch!"

A soft, self-satisfied chuckle left Spy, and he took another long drag. "I've spent the majority of my liberty this week slaving away at that love letter. Some fresh air would do me good. At least, I thought so, until the porch tried to crush me."

"Ach, what's a bit o' mortal danger? It's good for the blood," Demoman dismissed with a laugh. He hopped up on the edge of the porch next to where Spy stood and patted the concrete paddock, inviting him to sit. Soldier climbed up on his other side, kicking his legs in the air.

With a moment's consideration, Spy shrugged and settled in beside Demoman, half-facing him with one leg up on the porch, the other hanging. "I assume you'd like to chat."

"Aye, aye. Surprised you're of a mind."

"Like I said, I've spent the entire week with no human interaction outside of combat, slamming my head against a puzzle." Spy took a drag and exhaled, looking off to the side. "Don't get used to this."

That made Demoman snort. Spy was ridiculous, preening like a cat and pretending to be above it all. It would be infuriating if it weren't so transparent. "Sure, aye, nae danger."

"So, have you figured out who it is, yet?" Soldier asked.

Spy sighed, thinking it obvious. If he had, why would he be here, sneaking around and almost dying to faulty construction? "No, I have not."

Soldier replied with a soft, "Hm."

"Dinnae let it get ye down," Demoman offered, clapping Spy on the shoulder then swiftly removing his hand after clocking the look of utter disdain that it elicited. "Honestly? A whole week o' radio silence after a note with barely a hint? It's strange, it is."

"Perhaps, but when presented with a mystery like this, what am I to do?"

"I ken ye've nae conclusion, but any theories?"

Spy took a long drag. "A few. Some more attractive than others."

Demoman chuckled at that. Fair enough. "Which ones're more attractive?"

"Fishing for compliments?" Spy teased with a smirk.

"If I'm still in competition I'd be more concerned about yer qualifications for wearin' that balaclava, mate. Ye ken me style, and sneakin' love notes isnae it."

"Didn't you and the BLU Soldier get together at a gun show?" Soldier asked.

"It's where we met and struck up a friendship," Demoman explained. "Wasn't 'til after we hit the bars, got good 'n liquored up, fought the cops, and laid low at a motel outside town that I kissed him. Was ready tae write it off as adrenaline until he kissed me back, and started slidin' his hand down me trews." He sighed fondly, as painful as the nostalgia was.

"Wait, you fucked on the first date?" Soldier asked.

"Did we have time tae consider there'd be another one?" Demoman reasoned. "I'm nae some blushin' flower, mate. I've got a braw lad askin' me tae blow his back out, I aim tae do it."

"You can't aim for shit," Soldier snorted, then fell into laughs as Demoman pushed him off the porch.

"Yes, well, I suppose the speed at which you move isn't quite compatible with writing notes," Spy said, rolling his eyes and trying to expel the mental image of Demoman fucking the BLU Soldier from his mind, even if it did answer the idle curiousity he had as to which of the bombastic, competitive men had been the bottom.

"Aye, aye, but still's tae the point: any o' those theoretical authors actually have a chance, mate? I imagine yer nae gonnae throw yerself at a lad just 'cause he's wrote ye a love note. So what's the best case scenario? Who'd actually have a shot? Who d'ye hope it is?"

Spy sat with that question for a long moment, taking a thoughtful drag of his cigarette. The pause was so pregnant Demoman fancied its water was about to break.

He hadn't really considered that. Not in earnest. Sure, he thought about the pros and cons of who it might be, whether it was preferable. But what would he really do once he discovered the answer? And what if it was an answer he didn't like? What if it was an answer he did? What was an answer he did? Who was he kidding? He hadn't gathered the thoughts in a cohesive manner, but in his gut, he already knew who he wanted it to be. His own wandering mind had taught him as much.

"Engineer," Spy sighed, looking away so as not to meet Demoman's eye. Out of the corner of his own vision, he caught a smile crossing the bomber's lips anyway.

"Good, you can get him to fix the porch," Soldier announced.

"Engie, aye?" Demoman said appraisingly, giving a little nod. "Ye've good taste, lad. Broad, braw bloke like that? Muscles for days and a bit soft? That voice? "

"Do I have competition?" Spy teased with a soft laugh, grateful that he hadn't been teased immediately for a rare moment of candidness.

"Ach, nae. I'd nae dare stand in yer way."

"In my way?" Spy asked, eyebrow lifted.

"Look, lad. It's clear ye want him tae be the answer. Which means yer sweet on him. Which means nae matter who this secret admirer o' yours is, what does matter is ye've yer eye on someone already. The matter's been breached, in so many words. Why nae just make a move?"

"And if he's not the author?"

"Then yer nae interested in the author anyway," Demoman reasoned. "Right?"

Spy nodded slowly, admitting it to himself. Any other candidate just didn't capture him the same way, didn't set his heart to racing and his mind to distraction like thoughts of the short Texan with his warm voice and strong hands and eleven hard-science PhDs. "Which leaves the question of whether Engineer would be interested," Spy pointed out, gesturing vaguely with his cigarette.

"You will not know the answer to that if you do not ask," Soldier said plainly. "If he did write it, then he is interested. If he did not, you can not know if he is interested unless you ask."

"Hate tae say it, but the lad's right," Demoman agreed, jerking a thumb at Soldier. "And say he's nae the author, and someone else's feelings get hurt: lad wrote ye a note so opaque even you o' all people couldn't crack it, and never followed up, dropped any other breadcrumbs, just sat back and let it lie. Can he really blame ye for followin' yer heart?"

"He snoozed, he lost!"

"Aye, exactly!"

Spy chewed on that thought for a moment and took another long drag to finish his cigarette, stubbing it out on the concrete porch as he exhaled. "Fair enough, I suppose."

"I ken the direct approach isnae yer wheelhouse, but sometimes, the only way out is through!"

"Yeah, go get 'im, Frenchie!"

Spy snorted out a soft laugh and shook his head. This was where he was getting his romantic advice? Still, he supposed, they weren't wrong.

#tf2 fanfiction #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanfic #TF2 Napoleon Complex #TF2 Engineer #TF2 Spy #TF2 Scout #TF2 Soldier #TF2 Pyro #TF2 Demoman #TF2 Heavy #TF2 Medic #TF2 Sniper

[tenebrare]

Deus Ex- Sarif's attack dog (revisited) + Post about how and why this revisit came to be aka some self-reflect (warning: long, ... OMG too long)

During Inktober2022, when I was forced to (as its part of the challenge) post daily, in some point I took a look of my 2022 postings in general. I found that I have taken my blogs title "Sketchbook and doodles" too literal. Almost all my works posted were... are... 1-2 day quick scribbles and clearly unfinished. Except 3. 2 of which were done in 2021 and still fit the 1-2 day filling and one work which I had done while recovering serious health related issue and was forced to focus only on recovery and I kept working on a singular piece the time without thinking about completing the piece itself (as my goal was just to fill the time I was awake and give my brain something else than health to think about) nor being stressed by war, bills, work. And out of those 3 remaining works that last is only one I wouldn’t know how to change, when I open its original file now. Also the other remotely almost passable as closer to complete works were done before war and illness. Why I have rushed like this – where was I hurrying to? Did I believe I improve better if I do more? Yet my best fan-work of 2022 is one I did, when I was physically so weak I was barely able to hold any objects like my pen (even eating and holding a spoon exhausted me to the point I slept hours afterwards), but just invested more time on doing something. Inktober was like a sum of the same – out of the 31 works I did, the best one in my opinion is the one I failed at original day and did bit by bit on other remaining days. Where am I running to? I should sit the f*** down. 2022 is trying to tell me something and I should listen. It 1st broke my graphics card few days in. Started a war close enough month after. Got me ill and almost killed me next month after that and then heatwaved me to heat-sickness soon as I started to do some recovery few months down. Canceled all my long planned events and activities for august and changed what-and-how in September. Only thing it did not cancel was me seeing my favorite band in July (in fact ‘universe’ in particular delayed the gig to be in 2022 from 2020). Maybe by November I should take the darn hint? … I finally sat down after Inktober. Meditated a few days, sitting back against almost ice cold-radiator in a 12C room (the machinery in basement shut itself off again and it was 12C outside as well). So I went back and took one the unfinished works and gave myself no time limits - „It is done, when it is done.” I told myself - “I am not running anywhere, no one gave me deadline. I do this because I love doing stuff like this. Do it like you just hired yourself and want your moneys worth. And above all – have fun. I must have fun again, like when I was 2 and scribbled believing I am greatest painter in the world and for my family I was.” Uh, and the widget in the basement started working after I had found calm in self as well worked on this piece a few days and is stable 21C now. If I’d believe in paranormal, I’d say this house is alive and is catching up my moods. But thanks, house, for the widget being back online. The gas company found no fault in the widget and its systems. Not in spring, when it stopped working 1st time after being just installed, nor this falls … Well… in this region we believe that old houses have their own spirits and personalities after all. Here’s “Sarif’s Attack Dog” as I wanted it to be 8 months ago. Just spent 5 times more time on it. Viewer, who wants, does find flaws in it and could argue about ‘its done, when its done’ part, but it is not about if someone else can do it better, likes it or does not like it or any other 100 problems, but its about how I wanted it to look-like in given moment and gave myself time to do it. Maybe it should be my 2023 years resolution? “Sit the f-down and take my sweet time on all things I do – including fan-art?” Provided 2023 doesn’t try to kill me again, like 2022 did… tehehe? PS! That lone fully completed 2022 fan-art of mine was Francis Pritchard hacking Adams computer in Prague

#deusex #deusexfanart #deusexart #deus ex #david sarif #adamjensen #adam jensen #deusexgames #deusexuniverse #deus ex mankind divided #myart #illustration #life story #lifelessons #dxmd #dxhr #fanartfriday #fanart friday #deus ex fanart

[soldier-poet-king]

not to be like my parents are incapable of being happy because theyre pathologically committed to being miserable people and it’s bringing everyone else down and i desperately need to leave but rent is so expensive and i am on a sweet contract for work rn so i cant leave the city for a more affordable city until i find employment but like. ‘everything a goddamn ordeal in area family’ is 10000% correct and im EXHAUSTED

im TRYING NOT TO BE MISERABLE AND DEPRESSED AND CRANKY DURING THE BLUEST TIME OF THE YEAR. I am working on MYSELF and being cheerful instead of cranky even though i want to scream and i am changing my diet bc im having Tummy Problems and im Going to the Gym for the brain endorphins and like. holy shit i went grocery shopping with my mother and i will NEVER do that again it’s exhausting. she’s SO nitpicky and penny-pinching and i GET that that’s how she was raised and we were poor when i was small but 1) we’re no longer THAT poor 2) IM BUYING MY OWN GOCERIES and the mental hoops to save 50 cents is NOT WORTH IT + im going flexetarian so the amnt of money im saving on meat means i can get nice produce 

3) I WANTED TO GO ALONE but ‘this way we save on gas’ like WOW A WHOLE FIFTY CENTS I WILL JUST PAY FOR IT MYSELF HOLY SHIT. she treats everything (cooking, grocery shopping, LIFE ITSELF) like it’s a chore she just has to get through and like sure, she’s a SAHM cooking for a whole house and i have sympathy for that, but like. MAYBE she wouldnt be so miserable and crabby if she took the opportunity to view these things as smalls joys, or at least opportunities for joy. i LOVE cooking and grocery shopping, yes sometimes im tired. but it’s about an attitude of opportunity and wonder at the smallest things. a whole store full of so many kinds of foods? endless opportunity! all these people going about their lives? the smallest children? yes even that cranky woman yelling into her cellphone? wow look at the miracle of human existence. cooking? im sharing love. like yes it IS trite but it is such a wonderful way to live, and before anyone says ‘oh the joy wears off’ it doesn’t!  not if you work to cultivate it! i spent years on my own and i never got tired of grocery shopping it was a weekly joy! 

and then ofc we got home and my father is being pissy and grumpy and it’s just like. LEAVE ME GODDAMN ALONE. let me cook and exist in peace.

like no wonder these ppl are so unhappy if they take every single neutral (or even positive) experience and find a way to deliberately put a negative spin on it, play the ‘woe is me’ long suffering card, blame it on their spouse, etc etc etc. on purpose on purpose, they are determined to be miserable on purpose and it creates this godawful aura of unhappiness in the whole house

and it’s not even like they can play the mental illness get off free card. im more mentally ill that either of them by a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT. however i acknowledge it. i seek help. i take meds. i do what i can to help myself get to a baseline functional, and from there i work to cultivate peace in a positive feedback loop bc like cbt and ert do work, at least somewhat, if you actually put the effort in. they refuse to acknowledge that their moods and behaviour is abnormal, they refuse to admit anything is wrong no matter how much i plead, how much EXPLICIT ADVICE i try to give, if they wont even see the problem they for sure arent making attempts to fix it.

i am a fuckin adult and my parents mental health is not my responsibility esp after they keep refusing all my offered aid but like. it is very hard to cultivate joy living with people who are SO DETERMINED to remain miserable after literally a DECADE+ of me trying to fix things

i have to come up with interesting excuses to go grocery shopping and cook at odd hours when i can be LEFT ALONE to do the things that bring me joy

#franposting #family bullshit #i am SO ANNOYED #im once again a teen where leaving my room means i enter the Miasma of Misery #take 10d10 psychic damage if i leave the safe zone of my bedroom #bc everyone is SO MISERABLE HERE #how am i the chronic depressed ex suicide the most cheerful functional emotionally mature person here #IM THE ONLY ONE MAKING ANY EFFORT AT ALL #I JUST WANNA MAKE MY LENTIL STEW AND DANCE AROUND IN THE KITCHEN AND CULTIVATE PEACE #i have so much more to say but im a broken record and becoming unintelligible #im just. WOW. FUCK THIS. FUCK THIS SO BAD #im. so tired of fighting it #but i cant be passive they're emotional vampires #and i am trying SO HARD to manage a little crumb of peace. a refuge for my tired heart in these blue wintry months #but like. oh man i am going to start looking at jobs SUPER FAR AWAY after this contract is uo #do i WANT to go to like. idk. fuckin saskatchewan for work? absolutely not #but I WILL IF IT FREES ME FROM TORONTO #i mean there's def the most jobs in my field in the toronto area #BUT I CANNOT AFFORD TO LIVE HERE ON ENTRY LEVEL PAY #like HOT DAMN rent prices in this city #someone in like. the maritimes. hire me. god that's the dream. or montreal. or mid sized city ontario. #i wanna go out west but BC is way too expensive #and i think i might die on the prairies they make me feel so agoraphobic i need hills and forests #and the territories are TOO COLD and DARK

[nintendowife]

It was time to move my Animal Crossing: New Leaf Nintendo 3DS XL to greener pastures. I've had the console since summer 2013 and I love it dearly. The right hinge has had a small hairline crack on it for a couple of years at least. It has slowly expanded to a point where the hinge is about snap and fall apart completely. The device still works just fine, the only problem being slightly shortened battery life that isn't an issue for me. 

This console has been accompanying me for nearly 10 years, for over 6000 hours of playtime (124 titles) and 9 515 263 steps - it was with me in the hospital too when I got a blood transfusion.  The ACNL 3DS XL is the favorite out of my consoles, the other Animal Crossing editions I own aren't as nice visually and they don't feel as good when using them so I was hesitant to move on.  The last game I finished on it was Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney a couple of weeks ago. 

So a week ago on Sunday I did a system transfer to my Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer New 3DS XL before it's too late. I had a bad feeling before starting the system transfer process - if something can go wrong with technology, it usually happens to me. My gut feeling was right. It was a system transfer from hell. Fasten your seatbealts and get ready for an epic story of drama and suspense. 

First I was about to get a heart attack when the new console took several minutes in "connecting to the internet" near the end of the system transfer process. This is the part where the source system had just formatted itself to factory settings and the target system had probably received the Nintendo Network ID related data from the source system and was maybe checking it against Nintendo's servers. I was really worried something went wrong and I'd be left with two devices that neither have access to my Nintendo account. I was so relieved it finally connected and proceeded to the next step. 

The next step was shutting down both systems and copying the source system's memory card data to PC. That went without a hitch. But then it was time to copy the source system's memory card data to a new Micro SD card that would go into the target system to finalize the process. The old system had a 32 GB SDHC and I had a 32 GB Micro SDHC for the new system. I had formatted the new memory card as per Nintendo's instructions and suddenly Windows tells me the card doesn't have enough capacity to copy the contents of the old memory card onto it. What???! That's when I realize the files on the old card took 29.7 GB and the new so-called 32 GB card's capacity was only 28.8 GB. No one told me this could happen! 

Oh my effing god! I'm in the middle of a system transfer where I have 10 years worth of save data, a good amount of eShop and 3DS Theme Shop purchases and now I'm unable to finalize the system transfer! I can't go back to the old console and I can't start using the new one. It was Sunday and I couldn't go buy a new memory card anymore in the evening when this occurred.  I was so devastated and stressed out about this incidence that I couldn't even sleep that night (had 2-3 hours of sleep). I went through all the worst case scenarios in my head at night and had no appetite the next day. 

Nintendo's own documentation states 3DS is only compatible with SDHC of up to 32 GB. So if all memory cards I can get do not have enough capacity, how will I be able to finish the system transfer? We did some research with my husband and found out that Micro SDXC cards of larger capacity would also work on a 3DS as long as you manage to format it to FAT32. So on Monday we bought a new 32 GB Micro SDHC and a 64 GB Micro SDXC to try our luck with. Turns out the 32 GB card's actual capacity was even smaller than the earlier card's, so no go with that. Btw, it should be illegal to state a card's capacity is 32 GB when it's nearly 4 gigs less in reality.  We found a guide on how to format the 64 GB card to the correct file system format on Windows and my husband did it for me on his PC. Ok, so far so good. Fingers crossed... 

I copied the required files to the new formatted card on my PC and it was time to insert it to the New 3DS XL. Would it work? I was so afraid and at the same time hopeful. I booted the console and it appeared to be connecting to the internet again to verify something. And it was a success! I saw the Legend of Legacy theme and heard its music, saw all the software icons, Badge Arcade badges on the home screen - just like they had been on the old console. I was so happy I almost cried! 

So after some complications and immense stress the system transfer was successful and the story got a happy ending. My life expectancy was probably reduced by 10 years though. I still feel sad about the fate of my trusty 3DS XL but I'm sure I'll learn to like the New 3DS XL over time.

#nintendo 3ds #limited edition #animal crossing

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

I am in trouble, financially. This is the first time I've clearly expressed that (I think). I've always known, since my business failed, that I was in trouble. I saw the trouble coming 6 years ago. But I was in denial. I thought I could recover from it even though I had no plans.

Well, I can't say I was totally in denial because I knew I would have to start working a 9-to-5 again. But I was in denial about the fact that I would actually do it if it came down to that.

I've been able to hold off from working a 9-to-5 because I have savings. But my savings has been steadily dwindling. The time to get a 9-to-5 has come and gone. But still, I can't bring myself to do it...

I want to hold on to my freedom but I may risk losing all my savings to do that. It could take up to 2 years to grow my small businesses and side hustles to where they would make enough to cover my monthly expenses and credit card payments. By that time, my savings will be gone.

I hate this position I'm in. Nearly everything I worked for will be gone except for the my primary residence, rental property, and the mutual fund.

There are so many reasons why I'm trying to hold off on not working a 9-to-5. I want to make the right decision for myself...

I'm not at all a successful sex worker. I hardly get any bookings. The bookings that I get from my 2 regulars (and a 3rd I can hardly call a regular because he can only afford once or twice a year) make up only enough for groceries or a few bills in the grand scheme of things. But the effort I put into sex work is still worth it because it's better than having no income.

I'm in a difficult position. I keep waiting and hoping that something new and big will come up that will save me from this predicament. I can't keep betting on something I'm not sure will happen (for instance, I'm fairly certain a wealthy benefactor will come my way... somehow)...

Meanwhile, my brother hiked up his britches and took a job at an Amazon fulfillment because he knows he needs to make rent. Those assholes have their employees on their feet for 9.5 hrs a day, not including two 30-minute breaks for $15.00 an hour. But my brother is doing what he needs to do. The good news is that he only needs the fulfillment job until he starts a new part-time job he got, working from home. He's quitting AMZN in about a month...

But my health isn't there yet. If I took an Amazon fulfillment job, I would be slowing down the progress I've been making with my health. I don't even have the strength to wake up at 6:30AM every day, stand on my feet and then come back home at 6:30PM... F*ck nah. I'm definitely not there yet.

I just don't want to take up anything that would thwart my plans for financial independence. And it's very difficult to be financially independent unless you're building something of your own no matter what kind of hustle it is...

God, I hate this life... I wish I could share all of these troubles with Nigerian boy, Dexter. He understands would it means to be a failed entrepreneur. But I can never speak to him again. And I've gone through about four trash telehealth therapists. I don't feel like searching for one again. Maybe at a later time...

This post was good therapy itself. Shout out to all the women and black women that are doing their damn best to survive in a world that hates women and hates the working class. I know we can work for and get everything that we deserve.

#me #finances

[plainandgeneric]

My thoughts on Inscryption

Just finished the game! Thoughts below :D Contains spoilers

These are my personal opinions only, please keep that in mind. People have different likes and preferences. :D

I fell in love with act one of this game instantly, almost within the first few seconds. Mysterious cabin, mysterious host, and a mysterious card game with seemingly sentient cards that feels the pain of being sacrificed. 

I finished the entire game very quickly. I think it took less than a week and about 15 hours. Overall a very enjoyable experience. Though I have to say my love for act 1 heavily outweighs all the other parts. I think it’s the mystery of it, with a hint of something occult and meta. 

Act 2 is... it exists. The great part is that it introduces a lot of lovable characters like the lonely wizard. But top down 8bit games is not an aesthetic that I enjoy. The card game itself heavily carried this part for me but I still found it a bit boring. And if act 2 was a standalone game, I would not be playing it.

I enjoyed all the boss fights in act three. and the mechanics are really fun to explore. I love meta games, but I do enjoy subtlety a lot more, maybe a hint here and there, sprinkled throughout. Where something is not quite right, where the characters in the game suggests that they know something they shouldn’t, are more sentient than they let on - like in act 1. 

Though D.Mullins’ style is a lot more overt, which is not really my thing. I guess it’s because meta games and ARGs are kind of saturated now, where the element of surprise and unexpectedness is gone. And in recent years I had consumed a lot of brilliant ARGs and meta-media, so the novelty of it is gone for me. Like a magic trick being revealed. Because of this, the later parts of inscryption felt quite scripted. Not fully immersive? and I felt no sense of urgency while playing. 

If act 1 was longer, more fleshed out, and a standalone game, it would have made inscryption my favourite game of all time - so I am really happy that the dlc exists. But the entire story, and act 2&3 just doest really do it for me. The ending of the game is nice tho! Really emotional. Personally it would have been perfect if Leshy was the last to go. 

Overall it’s still a very enjoyable game!! I’ll give it a solid 7/10 and had recommended it to most of my friends. Again, please remember that these are my personal opinions. People have diverse taste and preferences! Thanks for reading and hope y’all have a good day! :D

#inscryption #inscryption spoilers #png mumbles

[chayacat]

Welcome to Petria! (Oneshot Fiction)

Fandom: Road96

Characters:  Oc character.

Context: ????

***

If history teaches us anything, it’s that nothing is written in advance, and nothing and no one is condemned. That it only takes a single spark to rekindle the flame, that one person is enough to change a country radically, in good and bad. And that no sacrifice is in vain. When the Petrians finally revolted against Tyrak, lives were lost. But it allowed the country to free itself from dictatorship. Florres was elected, and things improved in the country. The promises she made, she fulfilled. And today, Petria is a brand-new country. Trade with neighbouring countries has revived from the ashes those Petrian towns and villages that were doomed to disappear because of poverty. People from all sides have even begun to settle down to help with this renewal. And all this could not have been possible without one thing: the connection of countries via railways.  

The landscapes passed by as the train headed towards Petria. The travel had been going on for 2 hours and passengers came and went on board at station stops. Some of them were Petrians returning from vacation, or families who had managed to flee the country under Tyrak, or simply people returned from work who asked them to spend weeks elsewhere. There were also tourists from neighbouring countries, businessmen, journalists with all their equipment, and many others. Among all these passengers was a young woman, who must have been in her mid-thirties. Her red hair, which loosened, went down to the shoulders, was tied in a high ponytail. She sported two beautiful light blue eyes, and it looked like her face looked like a little doll. She was of normal height, and of a weight well in proportion to her height. She was reading a book that only a few people read given its contents.  

“Excuse me Madam. Can I see your ticket please?” said the Train Controller.  

“Oh! Sure! Give me a sec....Here it is! And here’s my ID Card.” responds the woman cheerfully.  

“Thank you. Well, everything is in order...” replied the controller before giving back the id card and ticket to the young lady. “Ancient civilization and lost city...I already see that book at the library. Are you an Archaeologist? Or an Historian maybe?”

“No....not really...I’m a kind of...well I would rather describe myself as an explorer. Who starts as a journalist, and who stops everything to her passion for the ancient civilization hidden under our feet.”

“Oh, I see! Isn't it dangerous? Without wanting to offend you, it is quite difficult to see you, an adorable little lady, taking risks to uncover ancient cities of unknown civilization.” said the controller, making the young woman laugh.  

“Hahaha! Don’t worry, I’ve got everything I need and all the knowledge to stay alive. Trust me but thank you for worrying about me. It’s nice.”

The train arrived after 2 hours in Petria, allowing passengers to disembark. Our young lady closed her book, took her bag, and her rolling suitcase, and got off the train. She couldn't help but look around, her book in hand. She closed her eyes with a smile, feeling a gentle breeze. She would have liked to sit down to draw, but the place was not the right one for that. She will find the perfect spot to capture all the beauty of this country.  

“Excuse me, Miss. You seem lost. Can I help you?” said another train controller.

“Oh! Sorry I was just... I was enjoying the view. Thank you.” respond the young lady.

“I see. First time on Petria? I hope That you will enjoy your stay in our beautiful country.”

“Hahaha! Well...we’ll see. I'd like to know, where could I find a Motel in the area?”  

“Oh, you'll find them everywhere. There are quite a few small motels that have opened, but I advise you to go to one of those on this booklet. Keep it preciously. This will be helpful to you.”

“Copy that.” replied the young woman, putting the booklet in her bag. “What about the National day?”  

“It will take place in 2 days at Mont National. Special buses will be chartered to take travellers there. They will necessarily pass in front of the hotel where will stay, do not worry about that.” responds the controller.  

“Thank you, I’ll remember it! Have a nice day!”

She went to one of the taxis to take her to one of the hotels in the booklet. Meanwhile, in a remote area of the country, where the prison was, the guards watched the prisoners, pushed back those who sought a fight and discussed about everything and nothing. In one of the cells was Tyrak.  

Guilty of his crimes, he was sentenced to life in prison. The former dictator ruminated as he thought back to his glory days, glaring at the guards who were once under his authority. He cursed Flores more than anything in the world. Suddenly one of the guards stood in front of the door and opened it.  

“Prisoner 9437, someone wants to see you. Please follow without resistance.” said the guard.  

Tyrak look at the guard, silent, before getting up and following the guard, without saying a word or make a bad move. The guard moved forward but not in the direction of the visiting room, rather in the opposite direction. It was strange, if someone wanted to see a prisoner, usually the exchange was done in the visiting room. Instead, Tyrak and the guard headed into a room that was more reserved for visits between psychologists and patients, or between priest and believer.

But it was not a psychologist who sat opposite them, nor a man of the church. But a woman. She was wearing a long black trench coat, her dark blue eyes were hidden by her sunglasses, and you could make out the cobalt blue eyeshadow that gave more noble-looking to her eyes. Her lips were thin and made up with black lipstick. Her raven-blue hair, the tips of which were a little lighter, was tied in a low tail, there was only a slightly wavy lock that had remained in front, while her bangs turned to the right of her forehead. This woman could have been said to be either an angel or a demon.  

“Mister Tyrak. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” said the woman with a seductive but authority voice.  

“You’re maybe the only one here. Or even in the world.” responds Tyrak coldly.

“hahahaha! Well, it’s not every day that you can met an ancient dictator who was put in jail for all his crimes.”

“Are you a journalist?”

“Oh no... sit. We have some...business to discuss about.” replied the woman with a sneaky smile.  

At the same time, the taxi carrying the girl stopped in front of the Four Aces, one of the oldest hotels in the area and which was noted in the booklet. The young lady, paid the driver, thanked him and then go to the reception. She took one of the remaining rooms upstairs, number 109, and headed there, dragging her wheeled suitcase behind her. The room had been redone. Like the rest of the hotel by the way. It is much more welcoming than before. The young woman laid her suitcase on the floor and opened it, and its contents were.... intriguing. You could see a lot of objects made for exploration: a grapple gun, a map of the country, books, a camera and above all, a notebook. As well as other small objects that are used to study fossils such as a magnifying glass, a brush set and other things.  

Just below was another compartment where the clothes and toilet equipment are located. She set up all her research materials on the desk and pinned the map to the wall, along with the various pieces of information she had collected. She stepped back, looked at all her work, and then smiled.  

“Well...now I'm here.” she said before taking the amulet she was wearing around her neck, in her hand.  A Gift from her big sister. She smiled before taking the notebook. She then takes a pen and start to write on a new page.  

*12 February 1997.  

I just arrived in Petria. And we can already see the changes with the new regime in place. Flores has brought good to this country; I am sure she will do it for a long time. For my part, my research concerning the city of Shandara will finally be able to begin. This ancient city hides under the lands of this country without anyone being aware. I don't know where to start yet, but I'm sure I will end up finding something. If I can shed light on this civilization, then Petria will be able to know a history hidden and forgotten by time. I promised her. Then I would keep my promise. I miss you, Clara. *  

She closed the notebook and looked at the wall again. She still had work. A lot of work. But She won’t miss the National Day. It will be a good opportunity to meet Flores and maybe find more information. Who knows? Back in the prison, in the room where Tyrak and the mysterious woman were, the discussion had taken... an unexpected turn.  

“A deal? You’re kidding me.” said Tyrak, a little upset.  

“I am very serious Mr Tyrak. You want to get your place back, take revenge on Flores and those who overthrew you. I can help you. In exchange, I only want a free hand to carry out my research. Without you or anyone else asking any questions. A quite simple deal.” Responds the woman.

“And how are you going to make me escape from prison?”

“Don’t worry about it. I am at the head of a.... small business, we’ll say. My men will get you out of there. Together, we will take back what is rightfully yours. Consider that it is a kind of a ... partnership that I propose to you.”  

“What proves to me that you are not setting a trap?”

“We both know that we have nothing to gain by betraying each other Mr Tyrak. United we stand, divided we fall. I will help you regain control of your country; I will put my men at your disposal if necessary. All I am asking for are resources and funds for my research. If it succeeds, you and I will share the glory and fortune, and moreover you will legitimize your place definitively as president of Petria. So, do we have a deal?” replied the woman holding her hand to him.  

“...Deal.” responds Tyrak with a sneaky smile shaking her hand.  

“Good. Enjoy your last day in prison Mr Tyrak.” she starts before getting up, as she walked to the door, whispering in his ear: “Tomorrow, you’ll be free.”  

“Wait. I don’t even know your name.”

“...Yung. Merlina Yung.”

She passed the door, letting the guard take back Tyrak in his cell. He didn't know this woman. And yet she was on his side. He was finally going to take his revenge. On Flores, on all those who betrayed him. Sonya Sanchez, the policemen, every little inhabitant of this country was going to suffer. But more than anything in the world, The Black Brigade was going to be a top priority. And whoever gets in his way, or tries to help the Black Brigade, will suffer the same fate as them. Death. But for now, he must wait. He must be discreet. No one should know. And tomorrow, he’ll be free. Again. And with a new army to take back what he claimed to be his. Power. Domination. Absolute control.  

In two days, it would the National day. Everyone will be at the Mount National, for the Flores' speech.  

This will be the perfect time to act.

And put Flores back in her place.  

***

(That's it. We're starting to attack the big piece now! There will surely be chapters of this future story that come out late, given that I will be away for a few days. I'll tell you that again when the time comes! Otherwise, how are you? well, I hope! With the cold now, getting sick is unfortunately very easy. A simple breeze and paf! a cold! Above all, cover yourself well before going out! I hope you’ll like it like the other ones! Feel free to tell me what you think about it! Have a great weekend to you all!  See ya!)  

#road 96 game #road 96 #oneshot #oc character #road96 fiction

[wsajaydn]

Week 2 Suplemental Development

Board Game Club Wednesday:

In this week we played Dominion, Cockroach Poker, Cosmic Encounter, and Blood on The Clocktower.

The first game was Dominion, a deckbuilding medival card game where up to four players take turns going through various action, buying, and clean up turns. While the deck building gameplay doesnt directly relate to my project, the art and style does. The various icons and symbols did give me a chance to think about the affordances behind resources and actions in rustic styles of games.

Cockroach Poker is a facinatingly simple bluffing card game, where players pass cards around to each other making claims on the kind of animal it is. What I took away from it was its hidden layers of complexity, things that arnt imeddiatly apparent, like the likleyhood of lies based on your own hand and prvious cards played, and the multi layered bluffs that develop as the game progresses. All of this from a rulebook so simple it fits on a post it note.

Cosmic Encounter is a very interesting case study for ballencing in games in that it takes the very unique stance of giving every player a hidden power for their chosen character, all of which are seemingly game breakingly overpowered at first view, but are all as overpowered as each other, creating a suprisingly balanced game, where each player's presence itself hugley shifts the flow of the game.

Terraria:

Recently I have been playing alot of terraria again, putting in around 40 hours in a shared world over the last 2 weeks. The NPCs in Terraria have a very simple system for their happiness being that it is effected by proximity to other NPCs that they like and dislike, the biome that they are housed in, and how many other NPCs are in close proximity to them. This is a very simple system, but has impacts both emotionally and mechanically. Emotionally the NPCs dialouge will adjust depending on their state, displaying more of their own personalities and encouraging players to work to keep their favourite NPCs happy. Mechanically the game rewards players by offering both various exclusive items that are only sold by NPCs who are happy, and offering discounts for purchasing items, on top increased payment for items sold to them.

The interplay of these mechanics works incredbibly eficiently to create well rounded personalities and an extra level of depth to a objectivley quite simple NPC system. I had already been planning to add wants to my NPCs in my project, by having them request certain things when being picked up, but playing terraria has built on this idea. Firstly I want NPC happyness to effect you in a tangible way, such as reduced speed and efficency of their actions and movement, as well as emtionally, maybe using a slower, sadder looking set of animations for walking etc.

Additionally, looking at my old research on Kurt Vanagon, having each NPC assigned specific wants, likes and dislikes, like in terraria, is an imediate way to create a personality in the eyes of the player, which is already a huge priority for me, as it has informed the use of augmented reality from the start.

Blender project development:

This was some work I did in blender this week to try and actualize my frist sketches into 3D. I was very happy with these, and although they're still untextured, with some clean up of their topology and more variations, I plan to use these models in an animation in my future GDD.

[outpost-31]

what would araneri have on his pokemon team'

SLAMS MY FIST DOWN ON THE COUNTER. YOU ACTIVATED MY AUTISM TRAP CARD

sorry everybody that sent me an ask this took me like an hour to answer I went so in-depth

(this is so ok to reblog and please do. the autism)

araneri is very proud. he's not somebody who'd only have 1 or 2 pokemon; he'd have a full team, a powerful one at that. both because of his ego and reputation, but also because it provides him with the strength he's so proud of

he'd have a team as elegant as him i believe. likely made up of mostly poison and psychic type, because of how he is in canon. + HoF and it's power and it causing severe sepsis. maybe even dark types, alot of them would match his ego. these are my thoughts:

Lucario, Malamar, Meowstic (M), Absol, Dragalge, and Toxel

- All very elegant or proud pokemon, or at the least intimidating. Likely those that he'd choose on his own

- AND very strong pokemon. strong as fuck, actually

- Funny enough, alot of them match or compliment his aesthetic. Several are purple, red, white and gold... And those that aren't are a shade of blue that contrasts those very well

- of course your team doesn't NEED to match you aesthetically, but hes a bit extra we know this

- they'd likely be named after nu metal bands/albums

AS FOR REASONS WHY

☆

LUCARIO. this is the one I have the most on

- Would act as his head of the team. Or, basically, his House of Flies

- A prideful, POWERFUL pokemon, one with a strong sense of justice

while they only trust trainers with righteous hearts, Araneri is a natural-born stand user. this Lucario would've been with him his entire life. regardless of everything, it'd love him either way.

prideful, and incredibly loyal to and protective of their trainers.. hey, doesn't that sound familiar? much like HoF. additionally, it's very solitary, which is very good with Araneri's behavior in general

+ it can read moods and sense energy, and even speak telepathically . in a way, a parallel to how HoF summons itself to protect Araneri the second it senses he's upset, and cannot speak, but still communicates with him

- in mega-evolution, it's fighting style is just as ruthless and cruel as araneri's canonically

- lucario was based off anubis. who judges the hearts of the dead based off their actions.. hmm....

☆

As for the rest. I believe its self-explanatory from screenshots/wikipedia quotes

" Dragalge is a territorial Pokémon that will spit poison at whatever trespasses on its territory. Its poison is strong enough to melt the hulls of metal tankers. As a result, it is said that ships sailing through the seas where it lives never return. It hunts by hiding itself in seaweed and then ambushing prey with a spray of poisonous liquid "

" Toxel has a poison sac which it uses to store its poison and secretes the same poison through its skin. By manipulating the chemical makeup of this poison, it can produce electricity. Toxel relays the electric poison through its skin. While the voltage produced by this electrified poison is weak, it can cause a tingling paralysis if touched. "

I went so in-depth with these I can explain so hard okay

also you may ask " why is toxel there if it isn't elegant? actually it's typing is pretty far from the others. " .. I'd like to think. akira gave it to him

#asks #📖 #araneri tag #please pay attention to this i went so crazy #also . thankyou so much for this one. it made me feel so much better

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk it all (17.2) - Leave Me

Genre: Chishiya x f!readee, angst, fluff, action.

Warning: violence, death, fire, murder, a whole mess.

A/N: Thankyou so much for reading I apologise for how slow my updates have been I will get back to uploading daily/ every 2 days I stayed up until 1am to write this so please enjoy! Let me know your thoughts! This was so fun to write I missed writing drama! I’m so excited to play around with the next part of the story. You are all amazing and have a wonderful day/night !

Ch.17.1 | Masterlist | ch.18

Your heart pounds so hard you’re afraid it will beat out of your chest, nothing felt real. You could no longer feel the tears falling down your face, there was no time to think about Chishiya leaving.

Your anger filled mind devises a plan. If you got the last card he would have to come back and when he does you’ll take the cards and Kuina and leave him here!

You tear the note up throwing it against the wall as you head towards the entrance hall where everyone has gathered. For once you was in the mood to play a game. For once you knew you’d win no matter what.

Your anger is muffled when you see your friend laying on the floor, a knife in her chest.

You pick up a phone and let the identification complete itself.

Once it’s verified you walk to Momoka, wrapping your arms around her. After all, Asahi was her friend too.

“Who would do this?” You whisper in to her ear, your heart flooding with emotion.

You feel your arm become damp as stray tears flood her face.

The phone chimes in your hand forcing you and Momoka to part.

Please wait for the game to commence.

Registration closes in 3 minuets.

You look around the room hoping to find a familiar face. You noticed An and run towards her, abandoning Momoka in front of Asahis lifeless body.

“Hey!” An turns her head towards you, you throw your arms around her. Happy she hadn’t abandoned you the same way you had planned to do to her just hours prior.

“Have you seen Kuina or Chishiya?” You huff, dropping your arms from around her body.

“No.” She sighs looking around the same way you had moments earlier.

Registration closed.

The room filled with beach members simultaneously looked towards towards their phones.

There are a total of 70 participants

“This has to be the biggest game ever.” A mumble from behind you speaks what you was thinking.

Difficulty: 10 of Hearts

Game : Witch Hunt

Rule: Find the witch and Burn her body.

Hushed whispers flood the room.

You clear the game when the witch is found and burned.

Time limit: 2 hours.

Your mouth grows dry at the somber game, a girl laid dead and now it was a game.

“The witch must has killed Asahi!” Tattas familiar face popped up through the crowd. However he retreated when the militants began to overtake the room.

You watched in horror as Niragi stalked over towards Momoka, his gun aiming carelessly towards her finally placing it on her shoulder. “You’re always with her. Where was you today?”

Momoka shivered at the long barrel pressed against her. “I wasn’t with her all day! She went to her room around an hour ago!”

You analysed her story, you had been with them in the room around 40 minuets ago but in the fuss of everything it’s easy to forget the time. Besides, Momoka would never hurt anyone. Least of all Asahi.

Niragi took a large step towards Momoka, forcing her closer to the dead body on the floor. “Maybe we should just burn you then huh?”

“It wasn’t me!” She shouted, Aguni stepped forward.

“The only people here I can trust are the militias. Unless the witch steps forward we will treat everyone as if they are the Witch.” You felt Ans hand reach out for yours, her slim fingers wrapping around your wrist as Aguni made his declaration known.

“Kill them all and burn them.” His face was empty. He was serious.

This was confirmed when Niragi shot his gun into the ceiling. You see Usagi and Momoka run off with Tatta as An dragged you through a side door. Your mind barely processing the dead of your friend.

You rush into an empty hallway, running as fast as possible towards another room. An holds the door open letting you walk in first. It seemed to be a security room, the executives could really see everything.

Creepy.

You turn to An as she locks the door behind you. “We will be safe here for now at least whilst I find what I need.”

You watch her as she turns her attention towards the draws underneath the hundreds of security cameras.

You let your eyes wander over them, hoping to see Kuina or Chishiya but instead the halls were filled with terrified human beings just trying to survive.

The faint noise of gun shots accompanied with the screams of innocent lives being stolen make a shiver run down your spine.

“You know thinking about it just makes it worse.” Ann sighs holding up a small tube of something.

You nod your head, she’s right.

“What that?” You ask pointing towards the tube.

“Glue. If we can get to the knife then I can lift the fingerprints and maybe have some faint idea on who did it.” She mumbles opening the cap to check if the glue is still okay.

You grew confused, even if An did manage to life the prints it wouldn’t help, it’s not like she had a fingerprint system to use but at this moment it was the best option you had.

“Let’s go.” She paused before walking towards the door.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice something silver. A baseball bat. You pick it up looking it over.

“Let’s go.” You look towards An mimicking what you said as you show her you’re holding the bat. It was nothing compared to a gun but at least you wasn’t completely empty handed and vulnerable.

Your hands shook lightly as you stepped into the hall, it was empty however the sounds of guns firing were still close enough to hear.

There was no one near Asahis body. Everyone had fled the second Niragi grew trigger happy all thanks to Agunis limited mental resources. You hoped everyone was okay, it would be devastating to lose anyone else. Especially if Kuina and Chishiya had gone.

An tapped your arm bringing you back into the present moment “Cover me.”

You nod at her, your eyes wandering to every open direction someone could come from. Thankfully no one approached you as An wrapped the knife in a small cloth, preventing any contamination.

You trailed behind her as she walked back to the surveillance room.

Despite the heavy bat in your hand you still froze when you hear the sound of a gun growing close. An grabbed your hand pulling you into a storage closet, your heart felt like it was going to explode as you held your breath, loud footsteps just feet away.

Despite your obvious fear An remained calm. The difference between you and An is that she has been trained to do you. You was only human and fear was natural.

You stood in hiding for a few more minuets before An chanced it and poked her head around the door. You finally released a breath when she signalled for you to come out.

Neither of you wasted time, both running as fast as possible to the surveillance room which you reached in minuets.

You slouched in one of the chairs catching your breath as An locked the door securing your safety.

1 hour 20 minuets remaining.

The announcement worried you, so far there had been no progress.

You watched Intensely as An begins her work, she is so effortless with the tasks she manages. Her mind working silently to figure out all the small details of tonight’s event.

After around 20 minuets of working on the knife she lets out an audible gasp, causing you to rush towards her in hopes of seeing the same thing she’s seen. However, your untrained eye was nothing compared to that of hers.

A few minuets passed and you give up trying to figure it out.

“What is it?” You huff, looking to her dumbfounded.

She chuckles. “I have to check the body once more to just to be sure but I think if I’m right this whole game will be over.”

You turn towards the door again. “So we have to go outside again?”

She laughed once again walking towards the door. “Are you ready?”

You roll your eyes nodding at her. “It’s not like I have a choice.”

“You’re right there.” She unlocks the door, her hand gesturing for you to follow her.

You don’t make it far before you’re cornered by Aguni. His form towering over you.

“AN RUN!” You scream as you swing the bat towards Aguni, trying to give An enough time to end this Witch Hunt before any more lives were lost.

“Why are you doing this!” You shout towards Aguni as you continue to swing the bat towards him.

There are 43 participants remaining.

“You have killed so many innocent people, An thinks she can clear the game just let her see if she’s right first!” You try to plea with him but instead you’re met with a hard blow to your stomach.

You fall to the ground the bat clattering against the carpeted floor. You can barely reach it but when you do you swing it towards him, hitting his head.

He grunts. stumbling back from the blow, giving you enough chance to escape.

Your feet begin moving, you don’t stop to look behind you, the sound of his heavy footsteps chasing you let you know that he wasn’t far behind. You ran into a side hallway, taking every twist and turn you could possibly imagine.

Your legs grow tired, unable to run anymore when you notice the spiral staircase from before.

You check the hall and when you see he hasn’t turned the corner yet you rush down the stairs locking yourself in the small room where just hours ago you had been playing games with your friends like innocent children.

Now one of them was missing and another dead. You barricaded the door with your body, prepared to fight Aguni the same way you’re fighting your tears. All you could do now was wait and hope Ans solution was correct.

You trembled as faint footsteps disappeared up the stairs.

1 hour remaining.

You wait another 5 minuets before preparing yourself to run. You pocket one of the small knives from the snack bar, just in case along with your reliable bat.

You hesitantly climb the stairs, you left the door to the room open in preparation for you to run back into it easily if necessary.

You don’t stop moving when you reach the stairs. Heading to the roof seemed like a good idea, the screams were in the opposite direction. It had to be safe there.

You run towards the roof, your heart aching as you pass Chishiyas door. You have to fight the urge not to go in there. He’s gone.

You’re all that matters now.

Your relief is short lived when you walk out onto the roof.

You’re met with Niragi, he’s stands up, his gun still aimed at the faultless members that he clearly was carelessly shooting from the roof.

Before you can turn to run, his long legs carry him to you. All you can do is prepare to fight him.

His hand wraps itself around your neck, you don’t give him a chance to push you up against the wall as you swing the bat at him, u caring what part of his body you hit as long as it hurts.

You gather all your strength and swing it a second time, this time it hits his leg, his hand drops from around your neck, bracing themselves around his knee instead.

As he stumbles closer towards the door you realise you’re trapped, he was guarding the only useable exit, you wouldn’t survive a fall from the room. Not with how high it was.

You hold up the bat once again as he runs towards you, you swing it aimlessly, throwing yourself around with it in hopes of dodging Niragis attempt at getting his rough hands onto your body.

“Get back here you little shit!” He spits.

“Just let me go Niragi. I’m not the witch and I don’t want to kill you.” You lie, you wanted to kill him but right now wasn’t the time.

He laughs as he rips the bat from your hand, he throws it and it disappears towards the pool. You search for the knife but before you could pull it out he pushed you to the floor. Climbing on top of you, his knee in between your legs, making you panic about your new vulnerability.

He lent towards you, the breath on his breath becoming powerful. “You thought you could get away from me? I still haven’t received my Thankyou.”

You struggle against him, nearly freeing your hand from his. “Don’t touch me. I don’t know where you’ve been.” You laugh into his face.

You take the chance to move your hand as he releases you, using his free hand to strike your face. You could already feel the bruises forming.

You screamed his finger pressed into your eye, your hands flailed around finally finding the blade in your pocket.

You pulled it out and jammed to it into his leg, relief and adrenaline surging through you as you thankfully manage to scruffy away from him.

He hissed at the knife in his leg. He doesn’t pull it out instead he staggers towards you, you stand up, dragging yourself away as he reaches for his gun.

He aimed it towards you and you closed your eyes, prepared to meet death. There was no escaping.

You didn’t move even when you heard the door slam open. That was until you heard his voice.

“You know the electrics have changed to the main power supply, only the executives have the ability to change them. That means someone inside the beach is a traitor.” Chishiyas voice hits you. He was here the whole time.

You have to stop yourself from attacking hun. Instead you slip into the doorway still watching the scene before you.

Niragis smirk falls to a scowl. “You think you’re so clever and better than anyone else and those eyes of yours really do piss me off.”

Chishiya chuckles, your heart hurts a little more than your face currently does.

“But I am clever.” Chishiya states. He wasn’t wrong he was clever enough to have you fooled like an idiot.

You scoffed quietly.

Niragi gestures to his gun. “Do you think I can’t shoot short range with this?”

“You know the only way to find the beach is to kill the executives, starting with you.” Chishiya ran towards Niragi.

Niragi prepared his gun aiming it to Chishiya, you went to run only stopping when you watched Chishiya throw the cards in the air. Niragi had halted for a second too at the site of all the won cards flying through the air.

You watch as Chishiya pulls out a small device, it looks like a water gun.

Your eyes widen when you watch the flames erupt from it as Chishiya throws Himself past Niragi, setting him on fire.

Niragis screams fill the air, his black clothes now orange with fire. His gun long forgotten and his body Flailing around, pushing himself further to the ledge.

You watch in shock as his bonfire body disappears off the roof. His screams distancing as he fell towards to floor many levels down.

You feeeze, your body in total shock. Nothing felt real. Nothing felt right. Chishiya was here, Chishiya set Niragi alight. Niragi is dead. Asahi is dead. Kuinas gone, Arisu is probably dead, Momoka might be dead, she was the main suspect after all.

Your mind is so clouded you don’t realise when slender fingers come in contact with your skin. You flinch as his fingers run over your swollen and bloody eye.

“I-I” you go to speak but the words refuse to leave your mouth.

He didnn say anything instead wrapping his soft fingers around your wrist gently, careful of the bruises Niragi had given you.

He leads you down the stairs you followed behind him, your mind empty and full at the same time. It was as if you was there but not there at the same time.

You had so much anger and pain but all of it amounted to nothing when the final game still hadn’t been cleared and Agunis men were murdering callously for fun.

You barely noticed when Chishiya led you into his room and leading you over to his bed.

You began coming to your senses over the next 10 minuets, the time passing in a way it never had before, so fast yet so slow.

Chishiya sat across the room, his eyes focused on yours.

“Fuck you.” You mumbled, your anger solely directed towards him.

“I was leaving, the beams came down before I could.” He explains, his voice all one tone.

“When we clear this game leave. Leave and don’t ever come back.” You don’t even look at him but you see his face become somewhat shocked.

“Don’t be so sad about it.” He smirks, your anger grows at the way he treats your feelings as another quest for him to conquer.

You stand up and walk towards him. You take off the jacket he had given you and threw it at him. He caught it perfectly, his reflexes still quick. “You know right now is not the time to piss me off because despite the way Niragi just laid in to me I still have a lot of energy and I wouldn’t mind using some of it hurting you the same way you hurt me.”

He places the jacket on the desk behind him as he stands up stepping closer towards you. “I told you to care for someone else and you didn’t -“

You cut him off before he can finish his sentence. “I said don’t fuck with me right now Chishiya. You have no idea how angry I am at you. I lost a friend tonight, I have no idea where Kuina is but my guess is she was going to leave me here the same way you would. I didn’t fit into your plan. I was supposed to be the one you sacrificed not Arisu yet you stopped that all for what? Because the way I see it I’m still the one who got hurt.”

“As I said. You didn’t listen. I told you not the blame me when you get hurt.” His smug face set you off, causing you to do the unthinkable.

You raised your hand without thinking and struck his face. Your eyes brimming with tears and your small handprint painted his face red.

“ You know a few days ago I felt like I was falling in love with you but I was wrong. I hate you. You didn’t want me to care about you and you got what you wanted. Stay here and die for all I care, I will get out of here.” You didn’t give him a chance to react as you walked out of the room, brushing away the tears that your anger had brought to you.

You was fuming, your breathing was heavy as you rushed towards the entrance hall hoping to find An.

20 minuets remaining.

You aren’t surprised at the stray dead bodies left on the ground alone. You wasn’t surprised at the distant gun shots that once left you trembling. However you was surprised when you see Arisu standing before Aguni. The fire raising behind them.

You notice Kuina standing next to An, you want to hug her in relief she’s okay but at the same time your mind was clouded with one question - did she know.

You stood at Ans side, ignoring Kuinas small concerned smile towards you. Your attention focused on the hits Arisu was taking from Aguni, you wanted to intervene but that would do no good.

“What happened to you?” An asked, her head was bleeding.

“Niragi. You?” You pointed to the dried blood across her forehead.

She sighed trying to wipe it away. “Aguni.”

“I’m the witch!” Agunis deep voice boomed.

Everyone stood still. Afraid to make the next move. The room was silent as Arisu scraped himself off the floor with Usagis help. He hobbled towards Aguni.

He truly was brave.

“No you’re not, that look in your eyes I know that look. Your sin isn’t that yours the witch, it’s that you killed your friend. You killed Hatter and that’s why you’re taking revenge on everyone. We can end this game.” Arisu pleads with Aguni.

For a second hope rises, Agunis face softened. Arisu was right. The room erupted in hushed whispers all of which discussing the not so shocking revelation.

All hope was lost as Aguni once again began to beat Arisu, this time the surviving members all began to attack Aguni, trying to stop the mass murderer from continuing.

He managed to fight every single of them off, you watched in horror until you see Momoka run into the middle of the room.

“I AM A DEALER.” Her voice shouted.

You run towards her as a beam shot straight through her. The room was calm. Empty. No one knew what to do, including Aguni.

You cradled your friends head in your lap, your tears flowing freely.

A hand brushed into your shoulder, pulling you away from the body. You knew it was Kuina before you even turned to face her.

You shrugged her off, sitting in the corner. You couldn’t trust her right now.

“I can prove who the witch is.” Everyone turned their attention to An as she held the blade up in her hand.

“How?” Usagi asked her, approaching her.

“The fingerprints on the blade she the blade was held the opposite way. The wounds were self inflicted. The witch has been dead from the beginning of the game.” An explains, mostly towards Aguni.

Agunis face grew cold. “LIES IM THE WITCH!” He shouted once again retuning to beat the innocent people surrounding him.

A few members drew their guns pointing them towards him as he did to them.

Arisu stepped forward once again, you was humbled by his bravery. “Look no one else has to die. Hatters gone and killing everyone won’t change that. Please just let us burn the real witch. You can’t do any good if you’re dead.”

Before Aguni could respond the sound of gunshots made everyone hide. Niragi was there, his skin shredding and bloody, charred skin. His shirt wrapped around his face. His gun pointing carelessly as his legs shook beneath him.

“Let’s kill everyone!” He screams as he fires more shots.

You rush to hide away from him, no doubt you’d be a main target.

A few bodies dropped around you, death was a constant factor here but the sorrow never diminished itself.

“AHHHHHHHH.” Aguni screamed as he ran towards Niragi dispute the shots Niragi was hitting him with.

He rushed himself and Niragi into the fire. Both of them disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

The room was silent for a second before the phone chimed.

5 minuets remaining.

“We have to get her body into the fire quickly.”

You sobbed as beach members dragged Asahis body away into the nearby fire.

You helped a few injured members outside, the building was going to blow any moment.

Game clear.

You and the remaining survivors watch as the utopia you had all survived in burned down.

Kuina walks towards you, standing next to you. “Are you okay?”

“Did you know?” You ask bluntly despite the tears you had drowning your face.

“He told me you was going to meet us outside.” Her small voice croaked, you knew she wasn’t lying. She didn’t lie.

“They are dead.” You whisper.

She nods pulling you into a hug before An calls her and she walks over to her.

You feel a presence behind you but you don’t have to look. You know who it is. Despite your rage your sorrow was overpowering. You pushed yourself into his arms, crying into his neck. You didn’t care if you hated him you needed him.

You was surprised when his hand placed itself on to your back as you continued crying.

You lost two friends tonight and for the first time ever your heart had been broken by a boy.

“Let’s go before the fire spreads.” Usagi calls out.

You stand in Chishiyas arms for another moment before releasing him.

You began to felt the pain in your face from where you received multiple hits from Niragi. You raised your hand to touch your eye, it was swollen you could barely see anything out of it as your eyelids were forced closed.

“Don’t touch it. It could get infected. It’s bad.” Chishiya spoke, his words nothing more than a hushed whisper as his gaze fell to the ground.

“I’ll clean it myself it will be fine.” You don’t show him any emotion despite your crying. You was still angry with him. No matter what.

“Where are you going now?” He asked. His voice still disinterested.

You watched as everyone began to walk away.

“I’ll go with Kuina.” You mumble.

“Okay.” His familiar phrase irritates you.

You turn back to face the beach before beginning your walk to a new home.

“Hey?” Chishiya called you.

You turned towards him blankly. “What?”

He pursed his lips together. “I’m leaving.”

You nod towards him. You hate him. That’s all that matters. He was going to leave you and you hate him. You didn’t care for him. You remind yourself.

You freeze as he walks towards you taking off his jacket. He wraps it around you before beginning his journey away.

“Hey!” You shout at him, sliding your arms into the jacket.

He turns towards you, his face still.

“Where will you go?” You ask, only curious.

He turns away before whispering just loud enough for you to hear him. “Bunkamura.”

You watch as he disappears into the darkness, your turn away to find Kuina and everyone else.

The beach was over.

Just like you and Chishiya.

#murakami nijiro #nijiro murakami #aib netflix #nijiro #aib chishiya #alice in borderland #aib #nijiro icons #dead stock jdrama #aib x you #ima wa no kuni no alice #suguru niragi #chishiya shuntarou #alice in borderland netflix #jdrama #chishiya icons #imawa no kuni no alice #aib headcanons #chishiya #chishiya x reader #niragi #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya smut #kuina hikari #デッドストック～未知への挑戦～

[cookinguptales]

So we just left Santa Fe and I finally got a chance to see the House of Eternal Return by Meow Wolf and uhhhh I’m OBSESSED.

From the website: “Guests spend an average of 90 minutes inside the exhibit but we recommend you plan for at least 2 hours. There's a lot to see!”

and when we got there, the person who checked us in was like “Well, if you just want to see the art, maybe 2 hours? But if you want to experience all the story, maybe as long as 4.”

Y’all underestimated me because I was at Meow Wolf for eight fucking hours. I guess we know now what would happen if Sleep No More didn’t throw us out after three lmao. I left because they closed. And then it took me another day and a half to go through all the digital content.

Anyway, some thoughts under the cut. Split it into mildly spoilery and VERY spoilery. 

[mild spoilers section]

Well like number one if someone told me that this whole catastrophe was set in motion by a cult leader (with real powers) falling in love with his own acolyte, who then betrayed him because he couldn’t stand to see him destroying himself and perhaps the fabric of the universe itself

like

I think I would have found a way to Santa Fe much sooner lmao.

My dad went a few years ago with some people who wanted to rush through, and he told me he didn’t even notice any story. But oh my god, there was so much story. From the moment I opened their mailbox and found the bereavement cards, I knew I was in for a wild ride. God, there were HUNDREDS of pages to read, hours of film footage to watch, like seventy rooms to explore. Codes to crack in Nicolae’s office! Secret passages to Morgan’s garden hideaway and Lucius’s Portals Bermuda! Better look in everyone’s closet because odds are high that there’s a portal to the multiverse in there!

Just how many hamsters are there?? I think I found like 6-7, but I wasn’t looking that hard. Nimsesku is always watching. :’)

Also, it was very funny to us to arrive and start looking through all the documents because apparently most of the story takes place in Mendocino, which is........ the exact area we just left. Drove ALL THIS WAY just to spend an hour poring over a newspaper with an ad for the GoodLife Bakery. (Along with one for The Power of Positive Mechanics.) Some things don’t change, I guess. That newspaper even name-dropped the very, very tiny town that my parents live in! It’s got like 200 people in it! So clearly whoever wrote those portions of the show knew the area well lmao. Those are all real places and businesses! I mean, honestly, they probably mentioned almost ALL the businesses in Mendocino. The place is tiny.

The confusion we felt when we walked in and were like wait wtf is that Point Cabrillo?? lmao.

I feel like I spent most of my time in the house just because there is so much reading material in there, but I also really loved the multiverse. I loved how you just didn’t know what you were going to find in there. I know hundreds of artists collaborated to create it, but it was still so cool to see such a mishmash of artistic styles coming together to create a really gorgeous, fractured vibe. One day I want to go back with the knowledge I have of all the characters so I can try to pin down which character each room is evoking. Some are obvious, like the arcade (and yes, I did play Cuphead there for a while and get my fortune told by Alva) but others are like ??? whose memories and desires created this pocket dimension?? Hard to say.

[MAJOR spoilers]

Well, to start with, putting the Lucius/Christian story (yeah, the names aren’t subtle) at the beginning of the house was a good call for two major reasons. Number one, if you put a gay romance in front of me, I’m staying. lmao. Number two, it was really interesting the way that they showed Lucius’s descent into ego-driven madness and how Christian felt that he had to stop him before it was too late. Because like -- yes, it’s true. Lucius was definitely going too far and had a wanton disregard for human life and the tenability of his creations. But I love the way you come to slowly realize that Christian, by helping The Charter, might have thrown his lot in with something even more sinister.

Like there were obvious parallels to like. Lucifer/Christians, knowledge/ignorance, chaos/order, free will/a lack thereof, and I like how the Charter wasn’t wrong about the Seligs, necessarily. They did have the ability to create a rift in the multiverse -- and did. But by the end, you questioned if that was even a bad thing. Like, is returning to that chaotic jumble of consciousnesses and creativity that is the Anomaly such a bad thing? The Charter is trying to stamp out magic and science and creativity and individualism. And maybe if they’d left the Seligs alone and hadn’t gatecrashed Lucius’s cult, the eventual rift wouldn’t have even happened. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy, really. They cut away Lucius’s powers, which made him return to Mendocino and prey on Lex, which resulted in their experiments on Nimsesku, which resulted in Lex fading away into the multiverse, which resulted in the family trying to get him back -- which created the rift. And it was so creepy reading Piper’s journal entries about the black crow spying on them, especially knowing that robot Nimsesku was too.

Speaking of Nimsesku, got STRONG Chrestomanci vibes from his plotline. 

I love this implication that every time their Nimsesku dies, he’s replaced with a version from an alternate universe. That they didn’t actually create an immortal hamster. They created one that occupied a very liminal space between worlds and every time he died, he could swap to a different version of himself that looked and behaved slightly differently. He’s a tiny Chrestomanci hamster with the nine lives he stole from the alternate worlds and I love that. (Until the last Nimsesku, that is.)

Considering that the parallel talent that Lucius got from the same experiment is that he could astral project in a way that physically affects alternate universes, I was just sitting there like “ah... the plot of The Lives of Christopher Chant”... Love that shit, love Chrestomanci stuff.

Some of Emerson’s videos seem to back this up, tbh, and he, too, seems to think that he might have stolen some kid’s hamster when Nimsesku “died”. Chrestomanci rules seem to apply to Lucius here, too, in that when his universes collapsed in on themselves to become more of a singularity, he may have gotten all the power that all the Luciuses would have gotten.

Add to that Piper’s remarks that in every universe, Jean died at the same time and in every universe Lex went missing... It feels like the troublesome magic comes out most when there is a place where all the universes intersect, like Nimsesku or Jean or Lucius. Like that’s where the power sits. Love that idea. 

And what was all that from the Charter notes about Jean having a constantly fluctuating sonic energy pattern...? Is she, like Lucius and Nimsescu, comprised of several different universes? Or, like some people at The Charter wondered, is she an ex-Charter member? Maybe both? God, I’m so curious about Jean! She seemed to be the member of the family that The Charter was most afraid of, but I was pretty freaked out by Lex tbh.

Between his unethical experiments on his own pet hamster (which seem to have amounted to torture), his deeply unnerving way of speaking to Morgan (as captured by robo-Nimsesku), and the fact that in one of Lucius’s videos, it kind of seems like the experimentation might have been Lex’s idea, not Lucius’s... idk, the kid worries me. Like...

“Life is made – no book says otherwise – whether it’s clay pummeled into shape by a gods’ hands or through evolution or, better yet, like this – by me, through my experiments – and, (laughs) what could I fail in? – Nothing.“

and 

Lex: … Nimsesku, he’s who we’re like. we won’t end up like a dumb dead deer. That’s for dumb animals that can’t look out for themselves.

Morgan: Why do you think that. I don’t think that. We die.

L: Things die. Not us, we’re smarter than that, I think.

M: You’re dumb, and not like an animal. They’re smart, that dumb dead deer isn’t dumb, it’s smarter than you who thinks he’ll live forever. Idiot.

L: STFU. Baby. Get smart. We are else. We are different. We’re Nimsesku to the max.

M: u stfu. You’re dumb and silly and dangerous. STFU u!

L: Listen, we can beat it. Death. And we will. We are no deer.

had me like bro you are TEN YEARS OLD. Lex freaks me out! No wonder The Charter has his threat level at HIGH. And Lucius talking about how actually Lex was the one who came to him and asked how to astral project and Lex was the one who begged for one of his crystals and Lex was the one who promised to help Lucius get his powers back had me like... Okay, but which sociopath was using whom here? Even Agent 86 was like “damn, if these parents weren’t so self-involved, they’d be horrified to see what their son is up to.”

Also all the music of the spheres stuff that Emerson and Nicolae were into. I was sitting there like “ah, my misspent years in college are finally coming in handy...” I had so much fun playing Nicolae’s laser harp... I felt a little bad about it, though, when I realized later that it had destroyed his marriage.

I’m actually wondering now if Christian had some of the Anomaly in him as well, even though he ended up betraying Lucius to The Charter... All the other twins chose love interests who were of the Anomaly, and Christian did seem to have some kind of power that he attributed to Lucius’s teachings. (See: the quantum arm wrestling competition, his ability to knock over Lucius’s sand castle with his mind, etc.)

I was sad for them, tbh. I know they were doomed because Lucius went off the deep end and Christian had his powers cut out of him to “save” him, but... they were really sweet to each other for a long time. Christian bashfully confessing to Lucius was really cute, and reading their notes to each other was like... ah... they really did love each other...

Well... maybe one day they’ll meet again in the Anomaly. Lucius certainly seemed humbled there by the end, though some of that might be the madness that having his power taken away seemed to induce. (Just like Piper seemed to become intensely mentally ill after her own powers went away, sleeping in the bath for hours, etc.)

Ouch.

(Also, very funny and kind of touching that he made Christian’s birthday an official holiday in his weird religion. Also also, Lucius’s handwriting is virtually identical to mine, which made reading his notes uncomfortable. lmao)

I will say, though, as emotionally invested as I got in the Pastore/Selig family’s story, I was surprised how genuinely funny a lot of the exhibit was, too. Lucius’s burgeoning cult, Agent 86′s sheer assholery in their notes, the blatant mockery of Mendocino’s pompous art scene, some of the insane shit in the Mendo newspaper, the quirky little decisions made in the construction of the multiverse... It was all just so well-designed and amusing, even when the story itself was very dark. I had such a good time overall.

And as for the last member of the family... I think Morgan survived. I know that she ran away and hid under the stairs in her garden when the others did the seance thing, and I hear that she has a brief cameo in Omega Mart. Poor Morgan. She’s such a little Cassandra. She sees so much and understands so much but no one ever listens to her. They didn’t listen to her about Jean, they didn’t listen to her about Lucius, they didn’t listen to her about Lex, they didn’t listen to her about Nimsesku, they didn’t listen to her about the multiverse. And she knew.

I think it’s also interesting to put her against Lucius. Like Lucius, she was artificially given a power by a family member’s experimentation, but unlike Lucius, she managed to retain her original ability (extreme empathy) while immediately bonding with her new ability (plant magic) and managing to combine the two of them into something wholly unique. (Plant-talking, possibly to her dead grandmother.) Lucius’s childhood was... honestly pretty awful, and I wonder if he would’ve turned out half so fucked up if his parents hadn’t lied to him about his “medical condition” and kept him locked inside a house for like a decade. I wonder if having someone like Morgan around as a child would have helped him come to terms with his gift, or if he would’ve just abused her like her own twin does...

Seeing the way that both sets of twins loved each other desperately only to be torn apart by insecurities and resentment (and because it seems like the male twins have a streak of sociopathy tbh) makes me wonder a lot about Emerson’s twin sister... You see brief mentions of her, but I wonder why she’s not a part of any of their lives... I wonder if she had powers, too... I wonder if they also fought over Emerson’s scientific pursuits... I want to know about the sixth twin...

God. I actually have SO many more thoughts and questions, but I don’t have a lot of time and this is VERY long already. So I’ll just keep them to myself until we go to Omega Mart next week.

I will post some photos soon, too! But I got a date with a (monument) valley so I gotta run!

#I can't believe there's no fic for House of Eternal Return #I want to write it kind of... #but there's not much audience for it lmao #house of eternal return #meow wolf