#the less that you will carry weight there

[inkskinned]

what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.

and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.

and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?

and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?

how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?

we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.

#i also have things to say about how gender plays into this #but it became like 1450 pages #so i saved the rest in a draft #btw? hip dips used to be like valued in the 90s & 2000s during the ultra thin craze #which is so fucking wild to me bc i am old enough to REMEMBER that people WANTED them #bc they're literally the shape of your bones. they're your hipbones showing. & you literally CANNOT 'target' that area #that would be like targeting your elbow. it's a fucking JOINT. #it is a place where you either do or do not carry mass. the lower ur bodyfat percent and the higher ur thigh & glute strength #the less that you will carry weight there #which is even MORE fucking cruel bc !!! the type of people who are already trying to improve themselves helplessly #are going to be aware of their body! and ur literally GIVING them an insecurity they LITERALLY do not decide!!!! #“it rounds out ur figure” here's something my guy! maybe people shouldn't have to look uniform and sleek !!! #maybe you just want to fuck a manatee !!! #if we're really at the point that you have to apologize for LITERALLY HAVING BONES..... #like sorry my legs had to connect somewhere in my form :( i will hide that from u. my apologies ur honor #(fashion bloggers gagging bc there's evidence other people have skeletons)

[themyscirah]

I should make a post about how insane Diana being chosen as champion is at one point. Like yes ik in most versions it was an anonymous competition but like the sheer level of trust and hope and desire for reconciliation and peace that comes with that gesture is a so insane to me. Hippolyta the woman that you are...

#just so crazy to me. also the amount of FEAR hippolyta and the amazons must have been feeling like that. like i know were told the story #through dianas pov but no WONDER they didnt want her to go/were scared of her going. #like she was the ONLY child in thousands of years and the only one who didnt live firsthand the cruelties that lead to them moving to #themyscira like hippolyta is one of the characters of all time to me but just like #having to send your only daughter out as an emissary of your culture to a world she has never been to and knows little of #and you havent been to in thousands of years. yet the last time you were there your entire society were captured beated and sexually #assaulted for just being themselves and expression their culture... #hippolyta omg just... damn #the weight of this isnt acknowledged nearly enough imo. like diana isnt the ambassador because shes “the princess” she has this job because #she doesnt carry the weight of this past violence the same way (as she never lived it) #and so this lets her trust and be open in a way that some of the other amazons cant. its a new beginning for the relationship between them #its the ultimate show of trust and faith of peace and friendship between the groups #like shes their heart shes their future #and yes in most versions they dont know diana is going to be champion until after the competition and shes usually masked but this doesnt #make the meaning her specific story adds to the role less true #wonder woman #diana of themyscira #hippolyta of themyscira #blah

[tinylittlebab]

ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.

there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.

#most of the years ive had an ed i had no access to a scale so it was very jard to track progress #maybe i did lie my ass off and fool ppl around me into thinking its actually healthier for me to have a scale bc ill restrict worse without #one which is half true. not that kts anyones right to make that choice at this point. at least not in 2 months when im 18 its not #part of the problem im having is i wanna be small but i have so little muscle that ill have to be very dangerously underweight to look even #close to how i want. many peoples ugws are under that line. mine was once. before i learned that its genuinely very very dangerous #and a lot of the people who look the way i wanna look are only just below that line which is where id like to be #they look that way bc they have more muscle. most ppl cant maintain a bmi of 14 or less for that long. eventually your body freaks out #ppl use instances like eugenia coonie as proof that you can actually do it but like. most peoples bodies wont hold out that long #and many of the ppl in thinspo pics eother only maintained it for a short bit before gaining or getting really sick or they weighed more #and had more muscle. and like. my goal isnt to be all bone. i dont wanna push it that far. bony people arent physically nice to hold anyway #i just wanna be light enough that somwone cpuld carry me and people might view me in a certain way #i wanna be seen as cute and fragile and shy and like. young and sweet. ots hard to explain exactly what i want peopel see see me like but i #want when people look at pictures or videos of me for them to think i look sweet and wanna be gantle and nice to me #and when i walk around places instead of seeing an awkward weirdo they see a timid cute girl whos really tiny and pretty #i know ill never be that but. maybe if i lose enough weight and dont have much acne and leave my hair down then maybe i can come close

[theotherrichardpapen]

nigel & alex - to be haunted by your love

henri nouwen // like minds (2006) // death - melanie martinez // pope alexander - crywank // her mother's kiss - eugene carriere // sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you - catarine hancock // the song of achilles - madeline miller // achilles lamenting the death of patroclus - gavin hamilton // lee martens

#am i happy with this? no. am i posting anyway? you bet your ass i am #another largely experimental post so take it with a grain of salt #honestly i could've just posted the achilles comparison part on its own and liked it better #cause that's really the part i wanted to get to #BUT the song lyrics are so load-bearing to this post. they started the whole thing. so it didn't feel right kicking them to the curb #so you get the whole shamozle lmao #anyway this post is more or less a take on the idea of when people say no one ever truly dies so long as your memory of them lives on #so long as you always carry your love for them in your heart #and how it's always meant to be a good thing you know? a positive thing #but what happens when it's not. what happens when their memory is a weight you drag forward? when that love is a haunting #when an absence becomes a presence in of itself #and you wish you could be rid of it. but you can't. and now they're in everything you do. they're everywhere you go #a permeation over every aspect of your life? how are you supposed to handle that kind of feeling #in the end this was more or less me scratching an itch wondering what life for alex was like after nigel was gone #and how fundamentally nigel does end up gaining immortality by living on in alex's memory #and arguably by becoming a part of him too #maybe my brain just hasn't fully recovered yet from being sick 🤡 #like minds #murderous intent #nigel colbie #alex forbes #web weave #quotes

[neproxrezi]

character sketches for something important i swear my notebook has things beside front-facing busts, i swear

#dibi #i think i know more or less all the specifics for her #wiry old woman with hair above the shoulders‚ white lab coat #she has very good posture and carries herself well #but god she's tired #you would be too #my art #unthinkable magnitudes of suffering. and yet‚ a fraction of what we ran from. #paradise sullied‚ but far from run-through with the vile taint we sought to sever. all the other envoys have been cut down. #their ambitions lie interred with them‚ and i remain for as long as it takes to expunge this vile curse from the future. #the immortal spirit creaks under the weight of an aeon. to say nothing of the body.

[pyreflydust]

Challenger: You fancy yourself a wizard?

Me, whose magic usage has been oakflesh, bound sword, and healing: No. Go away.

Challenger after refusing to go away, when I attack him with my conjured sword: This is supposed to be a magic fight!

Me, cutting his throat: This is the only magic I care about sorry.

#playing skyrim on survial mode has made me mostly stick to magic because of less carry weight but like #apparently if you do magic too much the destruction assholes will just show up at your house and get mad you conjure I GUESS #little alien game blogging

[yeonban]

An admirable but very sad tidbit about Soma is that he remembers EVERY Date bushi (from his band and from his alliance) who's died after he became captain. If you asked him to, he could enumerate each and every one of their names, which division they worked in and what was the dod + way they died

#muse: date soma. #* date soma. / development. #Soma doesn't get close and personal with his people the way Naotora does but they DO love him because he clearly /cares/ #He's never been nor will he ever be a leader who simply forgets the bushi who died or has no clue which families are in mourning #if he sees someone crying in the band after an oni/obsidian eight hunt/attack he knows Exactly who it is that they lost #this makes his people feel much closer to him than they are in actuality AND he can hold personalized speeches to make them feel better #obviously no one can magically get over it right after losing a loved one but Soma knows how and what to tell them to give them closure #or at least speed up the process of getting that closure #but that also means he's burdened by this knowledge. it's not great to constantly remember how many of your people have died #even less so to remember exactly /who/ they were and be able to tell if you could've changed smth in hindsight #he doesn't have time to dwell on it but in the few moments he does... it's a crushing weight on his shoulders even if he carries it well

[angstics]

sometimes i freak out cuz fixating on a real human person feels evil. i try to reframe my interest to be about their work, associated work, impact, greater context. it’s why i joke about academia so often. tho theyre still criticized, academics mostly get a pass. butttt when it comes down to it, i wouldnt fixate like this on anyone i knew, even if they were just as influential or talented or beautiful. can i only afford that kind of respect to someone i know? is it respect? or does knowing someone complicate your view of them more than the filtered version of someone you dont?

#i know logically that being fascinated with people you dont know is as old as humanity #but im not as old as humanity #im almost out of my teenage years carrying the weight of a first intense celebrity crush. #q.txt #not to mention how every other less intense celebrity interest ended in disaster #except for hugh 😚 i feel 0 guilt w him. im taking exactly what he’s giving me

[eorzeashan]

I really should update my pinned. I think I trick some people into thinking I also make a ton of ffxiv content when it's all rbs, lol. unfortunately I am a man who doesn't like taking screens much in the first place. ="_"=); and I can only write here and there. the woes of the all-encompassing blog...

eugh organization what is that

#ooc #let's not even mention how i can't really curate this as an askblog regularly so that's even less help #anyways. lost a follower! flop nation! #admin that is not a epic W your blog is a mess. #it's also funny to me i only get in the mood to do ffxiv stuff when my sub is up #kinda difficult service model here. live services my beloathed #i'd certainly like to keep writing for ffxiv but i'm far less attached to it due to mixed experiences #that being said I do like making short prompts out of it occasionally it just doesn't carry the same weight as it should #do I need a new wol...? #on second thot i think i am the coyote moot #you think it's a dog but you get closer and go oh fuck nvm and quickly drive away

[infectiouspiss]

i think a 7 year old girl could kill any transphobe. imagine telling a 7 year old girl she's not as strong as the boys around her because she's a girl, she'd rip your organs out in less than a second. have you ever seen what happens when a teacher says "i need a strong boy to carry this thing"?? have you never seen a small child carry four times her body weight with a smile on her face just to spite someone???? i think kids should be allowed to kill tbh

#bishop.txt

[spikershoyo]

Dude shopping in the same clothing sites as my sis knowing I'll get like 10 years of my life shaved off because my sister is SKINNY and none of the clothes there will fit me

#[v won’t stfu] #her natural physique is just being skinny #and im on the fuller side #and grandma on her dad's side is always 'shes so much skinnier than you! you should eat less!!' #like with all due respect #not everyone is a fucking triple zero #and fuck that ive been insecure about my weight my whole life #who tf are YOU to say anything about my weight when you've also been skinny your whole life #got carried away srry #but i feel like shit whenever my sis looks SO good in stuff and I dont #and ik it shouldnt make me feel bad not my fault shes just naturally skinny #but its still so frustrating #like i fucking hate when she goes 'best thing about me is that I have naturally more hips' #she knows i dont like my hip dips

[harmcityherald]

QAnon’s Adrenochrome Quackery | Office for Science and Society - McGill University

#Some interesting reading #perhaps I judged thompson too harshly #perhaps he spun the story for shock value he was like that #but also goes to show our words carry weight #we may not see all outcomes of our words but they never the less carry weight #but you have to live and express and sometimes shock #but yea why say that shit #so hunter still on the shit list #Q is fuking worse by miles #kilometers to yall cross the pond #but falls in line with my thinking #words carry weight #this is the reason i have no desire to see that film. #like this took the wind out of anything important he had to say for one #for two what it has fuking now become is a herrendous beast #because words like butterfly wings carry weight #like im one to talk #yea i say some shit but i never said i snorted kid sweat wtf #again I arrive at my original destination thompson was an ass #block me

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - non/con, manipulation, mentions of breeding, and unbalanced power dynamics.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's ecstatic the day his owner, Suguru, brings you home. He's the pinnacle of a spoiled pet, constantly showered in toys and treats and affection, but his owner's a busy man, and he tends to sulk when left home alone. He's had other companions before, another leopard hybrid who nearly killed him before being released back into the wild and a black panther who somehow proved to be a worse influence on Satoru than Satoru was on her, but you're supposed to be more permanent solution, another hosuepet to keep him company when Suguru can't. You're a sweet little housecat, all wide-eyes and raised ears, but still, Suguru wouldn't be surprised if you're begging to go back to the shelter less than an hour after meeting your new roommate.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who falls in love with you immediately. Suguru practically has to keep him in a chokehold while you explore your new home, eventually curling up on your new bed. Satoru's on top of you as soon as he gets loose, purring obnoxiously while he runs his bristled tongue over your cheek. Suguru's half-convinced that your first day's going to end with bloody claws and bandages, but you only nuzzle into his chest and knead at the blankets underneath you. Satoru's a difficult cat to put up with, and Suguru's relieved that you, at least, find him tolerable.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's absolutely massive compared to you. The tips of your pointed ears barely reach his collarbones, and your wrist is only as thick as his fluffy tail. His favorite hobby quickly becomes carrying you from room to room despite your softly mewled protests, and he's not happy unless he's pressed against you as closely as possible. He used to force himself into Suguru's lap whenever possible, but now, he's unbearable unless you're sitting pretty in his. He doesn't even complain when you lose your temper and dig your little fangs (barely half the size of his - a poor imitation of a real predator's) into his arm, just grinning as he tugs at your ears and pinches your cheeks. He's not exactly a wild animal, but he's still at the top of his food chain. You're not quite a mouse, but you might as well be, compared to him.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's calling you his mate after less than a full month. You don't know what it means, often parroting it back as more of a question than a term of endearment, and Suguru just brushes it off as Satoru being deliberately irritating. He keeps it up, though. even after you start refusing to respond to it.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who starts introducing you to new "games". You know you don't stand a chance against him, but somehow, he always manages to goad you into roughhousing, into squirming as he pins you under his full weight. He likes to dangle things above your head, to see how long it takes your instincts to get the best of you before your chest is pressed against his and you're pouting so adorably as you jump and bat at his hand. Sometimes, when you fall asleep mid-grooming session, he'll let his mouth wander lower than it should, and you'll wake up to his tongue lapping over your chest, his face buried between your thighs in a way that leaves you teary-eyed and warm. You've tried to tell Suguru, but you always get embarrassed and end up mumbling something as vague as 'Satoru's being mean to me, again.' In the end, Satoru only ever gets a slap on the wrist and a new reason to tease you, next time Suguru turns his back.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who fucks you whenever Suguru isn't home. He planned on waiting for your first heat (delayed by your shelter suppressants and the stress of a new home), and he knows he's not supposed to, but he just can't get enough of having your smaller body curled up underneath his, your tail thrashing from side to side as he lazily rolls his hips against yours. You tend to whine, at first, to go on and on about how weird it feels and how much it hurts, but as soon he gets his cock inside of you, all those complaints tend to go away. It's almost funny, how easily your stupid little kitty mind gets all hazy and cockdrunk. He always loves you, but he loves you most when you're drooling and purring for his cum, begging him to breed you properly between hitched moans.

Snow Leopard!Satoru, who's not even mad when Suguru catches him bouncing your half-conscious, fucked-out body on his cock. He wants to be the best possible mate for you, and he couldn't do that if he wasn't willing to show you off <3

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #hybrid au #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #yandere jjk #yandere gojo #yandere gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #yanderecore #yancore