#the tumblr live commentary is INSANE

[reanimatedheart]

Hello! Welcome to the official Reanimated Heart Tumblr.

(This Pinned is Under Construction. Still figuring out the tags...)

Reanimated Heart is a character-driven horror romance visual novel about finding love in a mysterious small town. There are three love interests with their own unique personalities and storylines. Play the demo on Itch now!

Content Warning: Reanimated Heart is an 18+ game! It contains dark subject matter such as violence and sexual content. Player discretion is advised.

This blog is ran by Jack, the creator.

Itch | Link Tree | Patreon | Twitter

Guidelines

My policy for fanwork is that anything goes in fiction, but respect my authority and copyright outside it. This means normal fan activity like taking screencaps, posting playthroughs, and making fanart/fanfiction is completely allowed, but selling this game or its assets isn't allowed (selling fanwork of it is fine, though).

Do not use Reanimated Heart for illegal or hateful content.

Also, I expect everyone to respect the Content Warnings on the page. I'm old and do not tolerate fandom wank.

F.A.Q.

Who are the main Love Interests?

Read their character profiles here!!

Who's the team?

Jack (creator, writer, artist), mostly. I closely work with Exodus (main programmer) and Claira (music composer). My husband edits the drafts, and my friend Bonny makes art assets. I've also gotten help from outsiders like Sleepy (prologue music + vfx) and my friend Gumjamin (main menu heart animation).

For VOs, Alex Ross voices Crux, Devin McLaughlin voices Vincenzo, Christian Cruz voices Black, Maganda Marie voices Grete, and Zoe D. Lee voices Missy.

Basically, it's mostly just me & outsourcing stuff to my friends and professionals.

How can I support Reanimated Heart?

You can pay for the game, or join our monthly Patreon! If you don't have any money, just giving it a nice rating and recommending it to a friend is already good enough. :)

Where do the funds go to?

100% gets poured back into the game. More voice acting, more music, more trailers, more art, etc. I also like to give my programmer a monthly tip for helping me.

This game is really my insane passion project, and I want to make it better with community support.

I live in the Philippines and the purchasing power of php is not high, especially since many of the people I outsource to prefer USD. (One time I spent P10k of my own money in one month just to get things.) I'll probably still do that, even if no money comes in, until I'm in danger of getting kicked out the street… but maybe even then? (jk)

What platforms will it be released in?

Itch and then Steam when it's fully finished. Still looking into other options, as I hear both are getting bad.

Will the game be free?

Chapter 1 will be free. The rest will be updated on Patreon exclusively until full release.

Are you doing a mobile version?

Yeah. Just Android for now, but it's in the works.

Where can I listen to the OST?

It is currently up on YouTube, Spotify, and Bandcamp!

Why didn't you answer my ask?

A number of things! Two big ones that keep coming up are Spoilers (as in, you asked something that will be put in an update) or it's already been asked. If you're really dying to know, check the character tags or the meta commentary. You might find what you're looking for there. :)

Tag List for Navigation

Just click the tags to get to where you wanna go!

#reanimated heart #updates #asks #official art #crux hertz #black lumaban #vincenzo maria fontana #grete braun #townies #fanwork #additional content #aesthetic #spoilers #lore #meta commentary #memes #horror visual novel #romance visual novel #yandere OC #prompts

[iloveyouphillipmorris]

on one hand i like it when people make ed all cutesy and shit but on the other i think everyone misses the point that gotham is a generally dark place with people within it who have been systematically broken down and forced to desperate ends. ed is a narcissistic, wise cracking, jealous, obsessive person whose pathological obsession with being viewed as the best leads him to do terrible things. he has forced batman to cut a babies throat bcoz he shoved a golf ball down it. in killing time he beats penguin basically to death with his own umbrella in a specific pattern to signal coordinates. like it feels like 1. no one reads the comics and only gets their batman/rogues gallery info from tumblr leading to insanely gross characterisations that are basically just oc's and 2. everyone's so preoccupied by the uwu factor to make anything genuinely compelling. it also feels like you miss the point of the mental illness that ed and the other rogues are often handling, with ed especially he is so seriously handicapped by his own mental and emotional issues that he often ruins his OWN plans just to ease them.

the idea of gotham as a reflection of the very real effects of a late state capitalist hellscape where everyone is forced into a mode of self preservation above all, with a looming figure of the joke that is the system good and will help everyone in batman himself is entirely lost. peter milligan's later work with the dcu where he suddenly made everything bright again bcoz "how could gothamites actually live here?" ruined so much of the core emotional ideas of the franchise that made it so captivating in the first place. because the thing is people DO live in gotham in the real world. they live in places like flint, like skids row, like detroit, like baltimore, or pharr. people are living in places where they've been systematically hurt and forced into desperate measures. since late era milligan and all of tom king's dreadful run, it's become this fantasy la la happy silly land and i frankly fuckin hate it.

fandom creations don't have to be a 1 to 1 reflection of canon events, hell, i know my adaptations and fan works aren't -- but outright ignoring the genuinely meaningful and insightful social commentary altogether feels like deliberate ignorance and just. such a fucking faux liberal, poor media analysis approach to something that really did revolutionise the way comics were made.

#i hate the riddler tag so much

[peachcitt]

actually if goncharov were real it would never live up to the standards the insane tumblrinas have built it up to be. there is a triangle of homoeroticism, political commentary, and inevitably tragic in which any live, real adaptation would only conceivably be able to achieve two of to their fullest extent. added on to the fact that this is a film that supposedly is filmed and takes place in the seventies makes the possibility of it truly containing all aspects of what we have made it out to be even more far fetched. however, tumblr has been able to spin gold on far more real and disappointing media than goncharov through its analyses of media such as supernatural, sherlock, and a secret third piece of media that the subsequent creation and analyses of the ‘greatest mafia movie of all time’ goncharov is simply a natural step that tumblr as an ecosystem is willing to take. in this essay i will,

#goncharov #unreality #peach stuff #goncharov 1973 #someone accused me of being an english major (true) (god forbid women do anything) so this is also the natural step to take i suppose #anyway i do think i have a point in that we’re all already so used to performing in depth media analysis on media that simply. is bad. that #creating media from almost literally nothing and performing media analysis on it is just . i mean how can anyone be surprised #also before anyone says anything about it i didn’t mention doctor who in my list of bad media because well ive actually never seen #any episode in its entirety and i do know (as an english major) that science fiction is a fantastic way to deliver political commentary #ive also heard that the most recent season has been doing important work (at least from a meta standpoint) in gender politics #sherlock is. well. other iterations of sherlock holmes have certainly been better. and we all know supernatural is bad #i only listen ‘a secret third thing’ because traditionally it’s good to list three things to cite in your thesis. oldest trick etc #and anyway. that’s all my disclaimers. expect the essay never because im already overworked and underpaid<3

[kafus]

file too big for tumblr so you get a youtube video but HIII I DID IT!! I BEAT THORTON!!! I GOT THE GOLD PRINT BABEY I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO HAPPEN TONIGHT!! months of on and off grinding and then 3 days straight of doing this nearly all my waking hours and losing so many streaks and I DID IT!!! this is one of the hardest things you can do in gen 4 ever i think i'm losing my mind. pthgss battle factory does NOT fuck around

some commentary below the cut if you're interested in my thoughts/strategy while doing this

when i saw whiscash i swapped into scizor because i thought it was safe and i wanted to preserve weavile's strength, speed, and fake out for later... and i did my calcs wrong. i've been hunched over calculators and spreadsheets for hours to have the best odds of winning this streak and somehow i was calculating doubles damage instead of singles so EQ was stronger than i expected. embarrassingly i didn't notice this until someone pointed it out to me after the fact LOL. i don't even know how i didn't catch it, of course EQ does more damage, it's STAB!! so that was actually a pretty damn dangerous switch! but he missed stone edge i am BLESSED stone edge more like stone MISS AHAHAHAFSDKFSDAL

anyway after whiscash was down i let entei take out my scizor because scizor is slow and was already on low HP, if i tried to preserve it it would probably just get outsped and die to a legendary or something later. and entei had two dangerous sets in particular it could possibly be so i really needed to scout its fire move. tbh when i saw entei my heart sank, i knew my team was really weak to fire and that it could be a problem but i just never found any good pokemon to swap while climbing round 7. i just hoped that garchomp resisting and having earthquake would suffice... but the entei had a shuca berry (halves a super effective ground hit) so outrage actually did more damage. if entei crit me at any point it would have been over but otherwise it would have been impossible to take out garchomp in two hits thankfully. and i had a persim berry if outrage ended in two turns and confused me. but didn't end up mattering!

my heart SANK when the focus band proc'd on latios (a 10% chance) but then i was like YES!! THIS IS WHAT WEAVILE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!! THERE'S NO WAY IT PROCS TWO MORE TIMES IN A ROW RIGHT?! because weavile using fake out would give me a chance, and then if focus band proc'd again, the flinch from fake out would let me get a second turn and weavile outspeeds that latios SO it was pretty safe unless i got insanely unlucky. AND IT WORKED OUT!!!!

i dunno if i deserved this win because my round 6 (the round before this one) was INCREDIBLY lucky, like, i got the round 7 staraptor in my draft and it had choice band brave bird and just decimated EVERYTHING except a couple bronzongs which i had a strong vaporeon for, so... it was basically a freebie and then round 7 had some close calls but also i got garchomp from trading with the literal first trainer (who i almost lost to but shhh) and then all the stuff with scizor/whiscash... BUT. it's been long enough i'm TAKING IT

anyways POGGERS

i'm probs gonna upload this battle video to the dns exploit server later but i gotta wait for my parents to go to bed so i'm not interrupting them using wifi by turning on the gen 4 compatible guest wifi lol

(btw if you want to do factory yourself please look up smogon's resources on it and use calcs and stuff i promise without it it will be a living nightmare 10x more than it already is)

#hgss #pokemon #pokemon hgss #battle factory #kiki was here #kiki.txt #kiki plays games #Youtube

[all-the-things-2020]

Late Night Talking - Chapter Ten

Summary: The aftermath of the movie premiere.

Word Count: 3150+

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: mentions of parent death, issues with body image

Tag list: @rhoorl @avastrasposts @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @gwendibleywrites

We slept late the next morning. It was after nine when I crawled out of bed to use the bathroom. Dieter was still passed out cold, lying face down with his face crammed into a pillow, his bare ass poking out from under the covers. I took a look at myself in the mirror and wished I hadn’t. My hair was sticking up in all directions and there were bags under my eyes. It was a far cry from my red carpet look.

I decided to take a shower and start over with my hair, rather than try to tame it the way it was. When I got out, I slipped into a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, deciding to forgo a bra, at least for the time being. It was going to be a lazy day, after all.

Dieter was still asleep. I leaned over the bed to cover him up and he grunted. “Why are you so obsessed with my butt?,” he mumbled.

”I’m not obsessed with your butt,” I told him. “I just didn’t want it to catch cold.” I tucked the comforter around him and patted his bottom. “Go back to sleep, Deet. You’ve earned it.”

”What time?”

”Doesn’t matter. Go to sleep.”

He didn’t argue with me. I knew the press junket had been stressful and tiring. He deserved to get some rest. 

I found my purse in the living room and pulled out my phone. I’d managed to remember to turn it off last night, so the battery was still at 65% when I powered it on. All my apps were lit up with notifications, but I went first to my texts. 

SAM: You look GORGEOUS!!!!

ME: Aw, thanks. It’s all thanks to the stylists. Did my hair and makeup and everything. Felt like a giant Barbie doll. LOL

It was close to midday back East, so I knew she was probably at work and wouldn’t respond right away, so I jumped over to Instagram. I followed the studio’s page and I knew they would have posted photos from last night. 

There were several pics from the red carpet, including one of me and Dieter. It was weird seeing myself all glammed up, standing beside him as he posed effortlessly for the camera. I could see that I was a bit stiff and awkward, despite the elegant dress and high heels. Still, I looked nice. Not bad for a first time, I thought. Then I started reading the comments.

She’s OLD.

Come on, girl, at least dye that gray hair. Woof.

Thought Bravo had better taste than that. 

Def a publicity stunt. Prob trying to hide that he’s gay AF.

If they think we’ll fall for that, he needs a new publicist. Lots of actresses they could have hired to help his image. Barf.

I think she looks nice. For a middle aged woman. 

There were positive comments, of course, many of them, but my eye went right to the negative ones. After all, most of the positive comments were simple heart emojis or “they look so cute” or other generic messages. The negative ones were more pointed.

I closed Instagram. Twitter would be even worse — there were so many trolls on there that I hardly ever posted anything anymore. Maybe tumblr would be kinder. I was wrong.

There were several posts under the hashtag “dieter bravo” that displayed one of the Getty photos from the night before and had commentary along the lines of “I’m glad he’s so happy” and “Aww, they made it red carpet official” but there was also lots that claimed to be insanely jealous of me for being beside him.

Oof, not to be that girl, but I could pull off a red carpet look better than that, just saying.

Not sure what he sees in her, but you do you, Dieter.

He looks AMAZING as always. Wish she’d worn something better.

She looks like she doesn’t want to be there. I’m sure it’s overwhelming and all but at least look happy to be next to him. I’d kill to be on the red carpet with him.

Ugh, I hate her, lol. Seriously, does anyone else think he’ll be back on the market soon? She is so not his type. Dieter fucking Bravo is a party boi.

I could feel tears stinging at the back of my eyes. It was silly — I knew they were making the comments out of jealousy or sheer assholery — but it was like being teased or excluded on the playground in elementary school. It still hurt.

Fortunately, my phone pinged with an incoming text.

SAM: Those stylists couldn’t have done it without something amazing to start with — YOU! I am so proud of you, chickie! You rocked that red carpet. And Dieter 🥵Don’t know how you manage to survive around him without spontaneously combusting. Dude is HOT.

ME: You don’t know how badly I needed that, chickie! Been looking at comments on social and people are brutal.

SAM: Fuck them. I’ve been bragging on you all day. Everyone thinks you look fabulous. Trolls gonna troll.

I smiled. Leave it to Sam to cheer me up. Then another text came in, this time from Simone.

SIMONE: Girl! You were on fire 🔥 last night. Your pic is all over campus. Kids are all planning to go see the movie with Miss Emily’s boyfriend this weekend. Eileen had such a sourpuss when I saw her, lol. 

ME: Thanks! Been seeing some haters online so glad the kiddos got my back. And I’m ROTFL over Eileen 🤣

SIMONE: One of my kids was IRATE over some of the stuff people were saying about you. She was going OFF! I didn’t even know she knew where the library was, lol. If a 15yo can see through their b.s., so can you.

“Hey.” Dieter came stumbling out of the bedroom with his hair sticking straight up and one hand in his boxer shorts scratching his ass. If only the fans could see him now!

”Hey yourself,” I said. “You need coffee?”

He nodded as he shuffled toward the kitchen island. “I got it,” he said. “You looking at photos from last night?”

”I was, but people are mean. Then I got a couple of texts that cheered me up.”

”People are fucking assholes online,” he said as he dumped water and coffee grounds into the machine. He slopped water onto the counter but didn’t wipe it up. He was messier than usual when he was only half awake. “First thing Carmen told me when she signed on was never read the comments.”

While the coffee was brewing, he fished his phone out of his pants, which were draped over one of the dining room chairs. He slumped onto a stool at the island and started swiping. “You looked so good last night,” he said. Then he yawned and scratched his head. “Anyone who says different has their head up their own ass or is just jealous. Or both.” 

The scent of coffee wafted through the air and a shaft of sunlight lanced through a gap in the vertical blinds. The kitchen was illuminated with golden light and Dieter’s hair became a halo of fire around his head, just for a second. Who gives a fuck what Prissy McDickface on Instragram thinks? I’m the one here with Dieter, watching him smile at pictures of us while he’s waiting for his coffee. And if Dieter could smile before his first infusion of caffeine of the day, I knew he was truly happy. Because of me.

*******************************************

The movie was a hit. It was number one at the box office that weekend, and Dieter spent most of Saturday afternoon fielding phone calls and texts from Carmen and his agent. He looked every inch a Hollywood star as he sat on a lounge chair beside the pool with his Ray-Ban sunglasses on and his phone up to his ear. 

“Yeah, set it up,” he said. “Can’t hurt to meet with them.” He looked at me over the tops of his shades and winked.

”Shit, I can’t believe all this,” he said when he’d hung up. “Carmen has ten journalists lined up to interview me. And half of them are from legit outlets, not just bloggers.” He laughed. “Who knew a twenty minute part would get so much attention?”

We had skimmed some of the reviews online and most of them had been positive. Many of them mentioned Dieter’s performance as one of the highlights of the film; several had used the phrase “Bravo’s back.”  

“And David has two meetings booked with producers this week,” Dieter continued. “I don’t want to get ahead of myself but this might be the thing to get the ball rolling again.”

“I hope so,” I said. I knew that Dieter really wanted to get back to the level he’d enjoyed earlier in his career, where he was taken seriously as an actor. He’d taken just about any part the last few years, just to keep the money flowing but while movies like Cliff Beasts might be popular with fans they weren’t taken seriously by critics. And he admitted he’d been phoning it in before he’d gone to rehab. This film was the first project he’d worked on since and apparently he’s done a very good job. 

“Just don’t get too famous and forget about the little people like me,” I added.

“I will never forget about you,” he said seriously. “And you are definitely not one of the ‘little people’ in my life. You’re huge, baby.”

“Yeah, that’s what some of the trolls online are saying,” I joked.

“Fuck them. I’ve been with skinny women and it’s like hugging a skeleton. You’re real, Em. Nothing fake about you. Which is one of the many, many reasons that I love you.”

******************************************

We had finally finished off the leftover Chinese food, so we decided to go out for dinner Saturday night. Nothing fancy, just a little hole in the wall Mexican place that Dieter was fond of, and not just because the food was good. The owners were very protective of his privacy and didn’t laugh at his clumsy attempts at Spanish. His father’s parents had been born in Ecuador, and he still had some distant cousins in South America, but Dieter and his family had only ever spoke English.

”My dad can get by pretty well,” he’d explained to me once. “He does business with one of his cousins who lives in Buenos Aires, and he sometimes visits his aunt in Santiago, but Freddy and I never learned. Hell, I took French in high school just to fuck with everyone. Freddy took German, of course.”

Although they’d come from Ecuador, Dieter’s grandparents were descended from German and Italian immigrants. “My dad’s grandpa Antonio Bravo married one of the Diefenbach girls,” Dieter had explained. “Huge Romeo and Juliet vibes there. The two families were rivals in the button business.”

My own skill in Spanish was limited to the Spanglish I’d picked up by osmosis from living in Southern California (like Dieter, I’d take French in school, because I thought it sounded fancy). But everyone at Ramon’s was friendly and very patient with our attempts to do more than just ask for what was on the menu.

”Buenos noches,” our waiter said as we sat down at our table, tucked away in the back. ”El jefe said you get free margaritas because the movie is doing so well.”

”Gracias,” said Dieter. “Um, dos platos de empanadas, por favor. Y los margaritas.”

”Muy bien! And my sister in law saw the movie last night. She said tell you she really liked it if I saw you.”

”Tell her thanks, man,” Dieter had exhausted his capacity for Spanish already. He was still running on fumes from the press junket. I could see it in his eyes.

After a delicious dinner of empanadas and enchiladas — not to mention two extremely generous margaritas — we went back to Dieter’s place and collapsed on the couch.

”If I went there too often, I’d gain thirty pounds,” Dieter said, unbuttoning his pants. 

“The food is amazing,” I agreed, glad I was wearing stretchy pants. “You want to put a movie on before we succumb to the food coma?”

”You read my mind.” He grabbed the remote off the coffee table. We were only about twenty minutes into Jurassic Park when I felt his head slump onto my shoulder. He was out. I maneuvered him into a more comfortable position so he wouldn’t wake up with a stiff neck. I never saw the end of the movie. I was tired, too.

**************************************************************

We lay in bed, both of us wide awake at two a.m. after our nap on the couch. “Whatcha thinking about?” Dieter asked, his hand idly playing with my hair.

”Not much. Just feeling cozy. How about you?”

”I’m thinking how I could get used to this,” he said. “Dinner, falling asleep on the couch, lying in bed talking about stuff … I wish you didn’t have to go back home tomorrow.” He kissed my forehead. “You know you can move in any time you want.”

”It’s tempting but it would be a hell of a commute.” 

“Quit your job. Get a new one. There are plenty of schools. You’d still be in the same union, right? Still get your pension?”

I rolled onto my back. “Deet, it’s not that easy. There aren’t all that many school library positions out there and they pay well enough that people don’t leave. Or they’re part-time at elementary schools. And other positions … yeah, I could do other stuff, but your retirement is based off of your final two years salary. If I took a pay cut, I’d get less so I’d have to work longer.”

“Jeez, you sound like my dad and Freddy. ‘Be practical, Deiter. Plan ahead, Dieter. Invest wisely, Dieter’,” he grumbled.

”I have to be,” I said. “I only have myself to rely on. You know my parents didn’t leave me anything.”

Dieter sighed. “You aren’t alone, Em. You have me.”

”For now,” I said. “I want to believe this is forever, Deet, I really do, but I just can’t jump off the cliff yet.” I sat up, hugging my knees. “I know you think I’m being too cautious, and I know it probably hurts you to hear me say stuff like ‘for now’ when you want to hear ‘forever’ but …”

He sat up and put his arm around me. “I get it,” he said quietly. “I get you. And you’re probably right. I’m too much like my mom. I need you to balance me out.”

”You don’t talk about her much,” I prompted. I knew she had passed away not long after he’d won his Oscar, but that was public knowledge.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, I’m still working through some shit in therapy,” he said. “My mom … she was an artist. Painting, sculpture, stuff like that. And that was the love of her life. Art. Creating. And once she created something, she moved on. She wasn’t interested anymore once a piece was done.”

I kissed his shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to,” I said. 

“When she and Dad got divorced, she moved to New York City,” he said. “That’s why I went there for college. But about two months after I got there, she moved to Europe. So I went there after I graduated. She was in Italy, so I went to Milan. Then she moved to Madrid, then Stockholm — god, Stockholm was so freaking cold — and then I got tired of following her and came to L.A.” He laid his head on my shoulder. “I was going to visit her in Switzerland after I won the Oscar. She’d actually called me and said she was proud of me. But I had a movie to do first and … it was a car accident in the Alps. She and her latest guy were on their way to Venice and a dude in a Maserati blew a turn and crashed into them.”

”Oh, Deet, I’m so sorry,” My own parents had been ill before they passed, so I’d had some warning, at least. 

He shook his head. “Hey, we’re supposed to be celebrating this weekend, not confessing our darkest moments. So let’s talk about something happy. Like my bank account after the movie earns out and I start getting some checks. We should go somewhere. Romantic getaway.”

”I do have a week off for Thanksgiving,” I said. My aunt always invited me up to her place for Thanksgiving and I always declined and ended up at some friend or co-worker’s Thanksgiving dinner. It was not my favorite holiday.

”Hey, see, making plans for the future.” He nudged me with his shoulder.

”It’s like two months away,” I reminded him. “Not that far in the future.”

”Baby steps, Em. Baby steps.” Then he kissed me and we stopped talking for a while.

******************************************

As I was driving home on Sunday afternoon, my phone rang. I usually don't like to use the Bluetooth, because it distracts me from the road, but I recognized the number. It was Sam.

”Hey, Sam, what’s up?” She rarely called; we both preferred to text. Our grown up version of passing notes in class.

“Just checking that you’re still alive after spending three whole days with Dieter,” she said. Her tone was joking, so I knew nothing serious had prompted the call. “Really, I just wanted to hear your voice. I saw the movie and it just doesn’t seem real that you and Dieter are … I mean, it sounds stupid, but I had to make sure you were still you.”

”I get it,” I said. “Hey, I’m on the freeway right now. Can I call you back when I get home? We can have a good talk. I’ll tell you all about the dress and the red carpet and … maybe you can give me some advice?”

”You better not be thinking of breaking up with him, Em. He’s the best thing that’s happened to you in a long time.”

”No, no, kind of the opposite. Shit, use your signal, you asshole! Sorry, some dude in a Tesla just cut me off. I’ve got to hang up. Talk to you when I get home, chickie.”

”Stay safe, chickie.”

I ended the call and tried to concentrate on the traffic. It was an incredibly long and tedious drive to make every day. There was no way I could keep my job and be with Dieter more than just on the weekends. And I would be foolish to quit for a guy I’d only known for a few months. Right? 

I shoved the thought to the back of my mind. Sam would help me figure it all out. She always did. 

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x ofc #the bubble fanfiction #late night talking

[interstyx]

A Commentary on Kenosis

Like all good ideas, Kenosis came to me in a nightmare. The very night the subtitles for Episode 5 dropped, I went to sleep with the words “let’s reset these memories, one more time” haunting me as I gave spin after spin to the implications. I dreamed up the events of Ch1 a few hours later, a very close match to what ended up written. It was an unforgivingly clear nightmare, yet somehow it was hazy in that way that you can only experience while under a high fever. Must’ve been some real-time hours of swapping between N and V’s perspectives while living through a torturous loop of physical sensations.

Next day (a Sunday), the first thing I do after my morning coffee is hunt for fanart, and I find this piece – one of my absolute favorites (whose source I neglected to save).

The message couldn’t be any clearer. The world was hammering into my head that I had, needed to write this nightmare. 

Writing it was torturous. I’ve never done gore before, and I discovered right here that I have an ill tendency to get too much into the role while picturing a character’s perspective; for the first time in my life, my writing physically affected me, and after each session of writing V’s surgery I’d end up hurting in a vaguely similar way. The nocebo effect was insane, really. I’d heard plenty of stories about the insane ways authors connect with their stories (a favorite one of mine is hearing the voices of their characters narrating the events to them, forcing them to stop when the narrator would break down crying), but I didn’t really buy them before. I guess this is my Special Cursed Power Technique unique to me or something.

What’s worse, each passing day the idea would spiral further and further and develop into an actual plot I couldn’t help but feel enthusiastic about. SIGKILL and The Waves appeared in my head either the same day or one day and the very next, and one too many sessions of listening to ətˈæk 0N tάɪtn (that’s an actual song title, and the phonetic spelling of Attack on Titan) gave me the finisher that The Waves demanded, though the events that’d become I Mak Siccar were always much more fuzzy in my head (which I think is easy to tell on reread), then later a Tumblr post by multiversal-pudding (who’s awesome) made me realize I couldn’t end it in such a shit note and handed me the right way to do it on a silver platter. If it weren’t for them, this story wouldn’t be half as good as it is.

I wasn’t sure if the concept had any life in it, so I posted Ch1 with the idea of it being a one-shot. Much to my dismay, it was pretty widely enjoyed, much more than any of my previous work anywhere. Another of the many special signs from the universe I got while writing this was that a friend DM’d me Ch1 on Discord saying “I think you’ll enjoy this one” and only realizing who wrote it when the AO3 embed with my nickname popped up. Really, I was just bound to writing the full thing now.

The way I wrote V from SIGKILL on is heavily modeled off my mom. This is intentional — V’s mood swings and impulses largely come from how she’d treat me earlier in life. Partly by planning, partly by discovery, Kenosis was supposed to be closure for my relationship with her, an attempt to work through the ways she felt when I lived with her, and when I moved with my dad. Their ways of talking are quite similar, too, so that saved me a good bit of dialogue torture — I wrote a good chunk of V’s dialogue just picturing what my mom would say and MDifying it a bit.

But sometime during writing The Waves, I had to draft out an abstracted hallucination of the real events in Ch1. I don’t recall where that bit ended up, it’s something about a hole opening up in V’s torso, and things pulling stuff out of the hole then shoving new, weirder stuff in. It clicked then, a quarter of the way through writing the chapter, that I was drawing imagery from a real event I’d repressed. I recall that the moment it clicked, my stomach wrenched.

This isn’t to imply that the actual events in the fanfic are an allegory or metaphor — fuck no. That’d have some abhorrent implications that I absolutely repudiate. It does mean, however, that I ended up connecting to V a lot more than I'd ever done with my characters (more than I wanted). 

Slowly, Kenosis started growing and growing, occupying more and more of my head. There were stretches where I’d procrastinate through days of uni work because I couldn’t put my mind off it until I’d written enough to tire my fingers (not that much, I have little stamina most days). It even started haunting me in the twilight zone between laying in bed and falling asleep, wrenching my gut at times. It was not long before I finished The Waves that it registered that pouring this much of myself into a fanfic series and suffering that much for it was a wonderfully silly predicament to be caught in. The robot goobers really didn’t need to live through my abstracted deliriums of trauma. 

I’m still not happy about it. There were much easier, healthier ways to process this trauma, but hey; what’s done is done. I’ll have to live with “projected deep personal trauma onto fanfiction” in my sin record. A year from now I’ll come back to this and laugh at how self-serious and melodramatic I got about these characters, how desperately I wanted to write V a happy ending, but right now I’m also very proud of how much I managed to achieve here. 

It was tough, it was personal, it took a lot out of me, and I’ll never forget that month or so where I categorically refused to work on this stupid project until I’d gotten back on track with uni, right after I Mak Siccar, with V at her absolute worst and the end still an entire chapter’s worth of suffering away.

In our journey past trauma, we find ourselves back there over and over, and the things we find strength in can sometimes hurt us too. There’s definitely wrong ways to overcome it, and it leaves us pained and hobbling for a long time — but with time and friends on our side, healing is always at hand. God, that’s such a cheesy way to put it, but this whole thing’s cheesy as shit. I think that’s just the way I am.

I’d like to think I made it through just like V, and this is a recounting of my journey rather than a fantasy of victory. I don’t know yet. I might never. I just really, really want to hug her.

At first I meant for Kenosis to be just a quick test before moving on to larger projects where I could express myself better. Now I doubt I ever will. I’ll miss writing this dearly. I adore Uzi, N and V deeply and I hope I can keep this connection I’ve built to them for a long time. 

Enough sulking. Thanks for reading.

[idontwikeit]

I'm fascinated with your iwtv haunted house video, what inspired you to put the images in the order that you put them in? What made you choose that poem to set the video to? I just want to know the whole artistic process behind this video, I've watched it like 10 times now, its so good!!!

Thank you!! I’m sorry I reply this late but this is a long answer. The poem is actually not a poem but “tapes” audio tracks lifted from the horror game Anatomy by Kitty Horroshow (itch.io// full gameplay link with no commentary // all tapes // tape transcripts for your reading pleasure) the rue royale one is based around the “final” one towards the ending. It’s one of my favorite horror games and it features one of my fave concepts with the house as a living breathing being

the idea of the amv is based around “louis as a haunted house” which I saw on a tumblr post/tag (i got zero clue where i saw it but it is probably from my trusted mutuals), aside from a few scenes that are based around claudia (since simply there are no ldpdl scenes close to the dialogues) they should all revolve around louis

Pretty easy from there since scenes are chosen based on the monologue, so I first chose the key scenes to feature first, then I usually edit the first and ending first so to get a vibe I want for the amv. You can see from my draft which I posted before when I missed the deadline oops

But to deliver the horror tm, I prefer building up quiet tension and interrupting with action or cut (like my other amv rip selfpromoting here but its less intense), so lots of the cut evolve around the key scenes, with the under layer a long scene preferable steady wide shots which led to this:

you can see the third track is filled with short clips, cut scenes that interrupts the longer scenes which I put underneath, and you can see there are more cuts in the middle part here so to make the amv getting more chaotic before metaphorically dying out, matching the "lie in wait" "hungry". the cuts around the key scene will either be parallel or contrast: like the one with them in the living room(?) sitting but the cuts are all actions: lestat throwing louis across the room, or them in the garden etc? the common themes will be the room they are occupying/ the object in the scene so there is transition but also not? just some discordant added

there are cuts that are like 1-2 frames only (like them dancing around the incinerator/far shot of them burning the evidence/hand) but I put them there for my own fun mostly and to disorient vision so if you are lucky and pause you can actually get those frames lol

This is similar to what I did for Part 1 dubai, I used the scene with louis controlling daniel's hand almost throughout, interspersed with cuts to amplify the panic, but since that one is FILLED with lost temper, there are much MORE cuts i was insane for that 50sec tape

#long post #ask #anon #sorry for oversharing i hope you enjoy this rambling #vcreations

[jewishbarbies]

Ok so I finally took the time out to know about the complete history of Palestine - Israel.

Apparantly, UN sucks and Israel isn't EVIL. Israel was attack the very next day after its formation, by Palestine with help of 4 countries, they won and got some area under them yada yada, but years later, They let Palestinians have their area back!!??!?!?!!

I don't think Palestine is all a victim country, like, at all. Their citizens might be. But they weren't letting Jews live peacefully there anyway.

Hamas is a terrorist organisation so why are people sympathizing with them? Why are they saying, Hamas HAD to attack to protect their country, no the fuck they did not. Nobody was harming their country (re : Israel gave conquered Palestine back)

My conclusion is, yes civilian death is wrong but it's happening on both sides, and not only one nation is bombarding missiles, plus, Palestine is recieving tons and tons of money everyday?????

The extreme left on Tumblr or the world, now apparantly, won't sit 2 minutes to Listen. The only Jewish country in the world isn't fucking all evil, they supply money and stuff for civilians and WARN before attack (the attacks are on Terrorist Bases) ugh.

Either there's an anti-semitism so deep they aren't able to see anything or maybe all the history UNBIASED books and videos are just a lie.

Also, Al Jazeera is not an unbiased news source, it's a fucking government propoganda news site — In the past, they have made such vicious commentary on "khafirs" aka people who don't follow Islam, idk why al Jazeera is the go to site for leftist Tumblr ??

Please tell me I'm not insane

i'm not well versed on the timeline, but i know that any money or aid of any kind that goes to the palestinians gets taken by hamas and stockpiled so that citizens continue to suffer. that's why people have to be careful with what orgs they donate to, because hamas has control of most of them at this point. hamas does not care about palestine OR palestinians ever in their history. their mission statement is to eradicate jews, and they've shown time and time again that they're willing to sacrifice as many palestinians as possible to do so. they targeted Israeli muslims during the Oct 7 attack and did unspeakable things to them. hamas has attacked during every single ceasefire to date. if we could get rid of hamas somehow or at the very least find a way to get aid to palestinians, this would be so much better for everyone. but palestinians don't have food or water or supplies because once it comes in, it's taken by hamas and stockpiled. i've been hearing about hamas using ambulances as taxi's now but i don't have sources for that just yet, though it wouldn't surprise me. that's the whole point. they want jews gone - what better way to do it than to get as many civilians killed as possible so that the rest of the world wants them gone, too?

the israeli government has made incredibly questionable and downright horrible decisions regarding the conflict throughout the years and they are not blameless at all, in the sense that imo they don't wait long enough and they don't target less populated areas. there was something about a refugee camp being bombed because they had intel a hamas operative was there, and killing one operative is not enough to warrant bombing the whole camp, if that is in fact what happened (i need to read more about it, i've been out all day). on top of this, the palestinian authority might as well just come out as hamas allies at this point. so, really, palestinian citizens are fucked all the way around.

at the end of the day, the citizens of both populations NEED to work together and refuse to let not just hamas but also the israeli government tell us we can't. because we absolutely can and should if we want to save as many lives as possible. it's not palestinians vs jews or israelis. it's hamas vs the world. the longer we let the american political system dictate who we can support and what decisions we can make regarding this issue, the longer it'll go on and the worse it's going to get for everyone involved.

#Asks #anonymoose #antisemitism

[detectivechandler]

🔥🔥🔥🔥 rant about alllll of the things!

the first thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is the way people (both in the rpc and just in general fandoms) will go OUT OF THEIR WAYYYYY to villainize any female character that gets in the way of their perceived gay ships. i mean they will pick these women apart. they will say they breathe wrong, they will say they are walking red flags for x amount of reasons when these characters are just genuinely trying to live their life and be human. i dont know if its the lack of awareness on the parts of these people about the way romantic relationships actually work or just a no i need these two dudes to kiss mindset but it is driving me wild more and more. You want to write gay ships? fucking go for it. by all means. but do not shit over any CANON piece of the source media just in order to make them gay. there are ways to do divergences etc without being like this woman sucks, death to her!!!!!

going along with the above, i'm tired of seeing sexualized gay ships. that's fetishization. plain and simple. i've seen things that say i don't write smut with my female muses or hetero ships but i absolutely will write it with my gay muses. what the hell is that??? i've seen people tag their smut threads etc with commentary thats like 'love it when boys do boys' and 'oof this is making me hot' . WHAT?! and these are cis women saying these things. stop !!

again, along the same vein here but ... fetishization doesnt mean just sexual stuff. thinking things are inherently cute just because its two males in love is strange and not the way the world works. gay boys have problems (hunter and i can attest to that lmaooo) and nothing is aw so sweet so cute they're so in love just because the ship is between two gay men. if you're going to write gay ships (or any ship!!), portray it accurately. you're writing people, not cardboard cutouts meant to fulfill your weird fantasies

divergences are not canon. i have seen things (especially in the current 'fandom' that this blog belongs to) that claim these whackadooodle ideas are canon when they are not. i mean claim they're canon to the point where i second guessed myself and thought maybe entire scenes had been left out of the version i watched. but no. its just insanity.

LET THOSE OF US WHO DONT WANNA SHIP WITH YOU LIVE IN PEACE. i'm not writing a rupert penry jones hallmark movie for you. i want to write. i want to explore things. i hate shipping. i hate the intimacy associated with shipping. i'm only comfortable enough to do it with hunter. respect the asexual muses. respect the fact that some of us don't want to hear about how attractive you find our fc when we're trying to talk to you about headcanons or plotting or media.

stop telling me how much fun you're supposedly having off of tumblr and just go have fun. if my dash is nothing but 80% your posts talking about you're having so much fun and living your best life .. i'm gonna start wondering how you manage to have much time to be on tumblr telling us about it.

i think rules should stop sounding like an application process where we all list everything short of our addresses and social security numbers. i just dont care enough about you to need to know all this.

remaking entire blogs every few weeks because you think its going to make you feel more comfortable is absolutely asinine. i give up after about the second move, mate. i am no longer invested. i wish you the best (Wherever the hell you are now) but i can't keep up with things that constantly get dropped etc. you need to work on something other than the blog. thats not what the problem is obviously.

time it takes to get replies back doesnt matter. but constantly dropping muses/dropping threads/dropping dynamics etc etc is a great way to lose partners. and then to complain about not having partners??? hello!!! why would any of us put in effort to write with you when its just gonna get dropped bc you're not feeling it in that moment? and ofc every once in a while is fine. its understandable. but if you're dropping everything every week because you dont have muse ... *buzzer noise* next please

#unpopular opinions / #i genuinely listed things pippa i didnt even count how many symbols you sent in lmaoooo #homebehind

[fountainpenguin]

hi my friend shared one of ur rancher posts with me on twt and i went INSANE- so i wanted to know if u had a twt? (cause thats where im most active for ranchers stuff) :0

?? My post has broken containment??? Incredible. If that's the one I just posted tonight then that's insane skldjf

No, I deleted my Twitter back in like... 2019 or 2020? I was only there to keep up with publishers and PitMad but then I never used it... never looked back, ha ha.

You're welcome to hang around my blog if you like (I use the tag #Team Rancher for all my Rancher commentary, reblogged art, or original art and I like to think I have a pretty good tag system so you can follow me if interested and blacklist stuff from other fandoms you don't care about; I try to talk positively about my fandoms, keep things clean, and not hate on anything since I like having a peaceful fanspace I can sink myself in and step away from the outside world :) But I'm multi-fandom, so I've got a mixed amount of stuff and it's okay if that's not for you).

-> If you haven't looked yet, I encourage you to browse my Team Rancher tag and check out some of those awesome artists and fellow fandom members!

I do have a very active AO3 account. I regularly post MCYT and non-MCYT content there, but you can specifically subscribe to my Pixels Imperfect series on AO3 if you only want emails for my MCYT content. It's a series, but it doesn't have to be read in order (It's just where I keep all my "morally gray pixel people living their best lives despite the outside world being total anarchy" stuff).

Specifically, tomorrow I'm posting the first part of a short story called Criminal Experience and Chapter 1 involves Tango visiting Mumbo's llama farm. Jimmy's not there, but maybe you'll still enjoy if you like Tango, ranch animals, and/or are curious to see if you like my stuff and my Tango portrayal :) [EDIT - Link]

-> I also posted some Jimmy content this past Tuesday; he makes his first big appearance in Chapter 6 of Dog's Life.

Again, totally fine if this doesn't fit what you're looking for since I'm giving you "Tango content" and "Jimmy content" but not specifically "Team Rancher content"... that's just all I've got right now! But I love talking about them and their characterization and you're always welcome to hit me up if you like!

I don't have anything that is specifically Team Rancher on my to-do writing list, but I'm working behind the scenes on a "put all the Life series into a single coherent timeline and making everything as canon as possible" project, so there will probably be some Team Rancher there. It's Scar-centric so I only have the Clockers nailed down right now, but the Ranchers were my faves so they'll probably exist in some shape or form in that series.

That series is called Neighborhood Watch, though I don't have anything posted for it on AO3 yet so I can't link you that one :')

-> If you are a Team Rancher fanartist/fanwriter and you use Twitter to post Rancher content, feel free to reblog or reply to this post and self-advertise! (But keep this post sfw, please)

[Psp psp even if you don't use Twitter, feel free to reblog or reply because I'm firmly a Tumblr user but I'd also love more Team Rancher in my life <3]

I'm glad you enjoyed my post! I really like Team Rancher... they are just very kind to each other and I could talk for ages about how they passed Scott's compatibility test with flying colors even though he was trying to rig it so they break up SLDKFJSLDFJ <3 Tango and Jimmy were just super kind to each other and incredibly comedic... Double Life was such a fun series. I miss them.

I've got a ton of Rancher fanart reblogs in my drafts/queue but I'm trying to space them out to avoid slam-dunking my followers, sldkfj. We love Team Rancher in this household. Thanks for stopping by!

#I'm a longform 'fic writer so in a shocking twist... Twitter is not the platform for me wheeeeeze #Team Rancher #TangoTek #Jimmy Solidarity #trafficblr #traffic life smp #Pixels Imperfect #Neighborhood Watch #asks #Nice words #mcyt #ridwriting #Double Life #Wouldn't it be nice if I wrote nice things about my faves for once. That sounds like something a normal person would do SKLDFJSLDKJF #We Don't Do That Here the content might not live up to my expectations. We emotionally wreck people instead because I can do that part #Criminal Experience #Dog's Life

[endlessthxxghts]

Hey sweetie, long time no see. I just wanted to come on here and apologise for being quite absent on here as of late, ive honestly just been not in the right head space to do much more than the occasional lurking for 10 mins or so a day. But i'm just sending this to let you know ive defs not forgotten about you. I saw that you got shaddow banned a while ago (damn it tumblr) but i'm so glad you seamed to have got it sorted relatively quickly and I also saw your post about your struggles with paying for you classes this semester and I can't imagine how stressful that is. Ive sent you a tip on ko-fi so I hope that everything goes well with that. I have missed our little reblog interactions so much and just you in general. So best you believe I will be spending the next few days catching up on all your beautiful works that I missed and reblogging them with the most absurd memes and deranged and thirsty comments. You are the best and lots of love you. ❤️🫶(sorry for the long and possibly pointless message)

HI, MY LOVE!! It has been long time no see :,) I have missed our interactions and purely just you so much. You truly are one of the brighter parts of my day🩶

I just wanna start off by saying no apologies are necessary. None at all. I completely understand what it's like to not be in the right headspace to do much of anything, and we all cope in different ways. Do what you need to do for your mental health. I’ll be here when you’re back. 🫶

Second, yeah, I got shadow banned 😭 that shit was the most annoying thing in my entire life, and I’m lucky enough to have resolved it in like a little over 24 hours? Whatever the case was, I know people have to deal with a shadow ban for weeks, so I’m really grateful the situation turned out how it did. However, I’ve been very paranoid still whenever I post, but I’m sure that’ll go away with time hopefully 😭

And, also. Thank you. So much. Your entire message honestly has me crying right now, but now I’m crying even further. I know nowadays, cost of living is fucking insane, and to have so many humans come together when someone is in a little bit extra of some help, it truly blows my mind and makes my heart grow tenfold. Thank you for the tip, my love, it’ll definitely help, and I’m sure everything will be okay in the end. I know it. I’m sending you the biggest and tighest hug ever. I’m also manifesting that your favorite Pedro boy shows up in your dreams tonight 😜 LOL I LOVE U

And lastly, again— your sorry is entirely unnecessary!!! I love YOU and I love ANYTHING you have to say!! Whether it’s 100, 1k, or 10k words, I’ll read them all and give you triple the amount back hehe. Nothing is long to me. And it’s also not pointless. My silly little brain appreciates the communication out of this. So, really, thank you.🫶

You are the best, and I’m sending all my love to you. I look forward to the deranged commentary and memes😋🩶🩶

#💌: endless answers <3 #my babes ily!

[jeffersonhairpie]

8 shows to get to know me

I was tagged by @haahka​ to deliver the good news of these self-defining TV shows! Wahoo alright let’s go - in alpabetical order so no one feels shafted

1. Bojack Horseman

The terrible tale of a washed up actor from the nineties trying and failing to regain their mojo - also he’s a depressed horse. Equal parts comedy and devastatingly morose commentary on the human condition. If you finish it and need more please go check out Tuca and Bertie.

2. Chernobyl

It’s the story of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster! Woohoo everybody party! I’m sure nothing depressing will happen and we’ll all be feeling extremely normal by the end. (Is the best bit of television I’ve ever seen though)

3. House MD

Hilson shown for...reasons. Anyway I haven’t watched this show in years, I am comstantly battling a demon on my shoulder telling me to change that BUT I say say with great confidence that it’s a foundational text of my media enjoyment. The terrible tale of a drug addled doctor who gets away with eye watering quantities of malpractice due to him being the only guy who can solve medicine’s toughest riddles. Proceedural television never felt so good

4. Red Dwarf

The terrible tale of the last human in the universe waking up from stasis more than a million years since the rest of the species died off. Dave Lister is stranded on the space ship that was his place of work for the rest of his life, with nothing but a gobby computer, a creature that evolved from his pet cat, a robot and a hologram of his dead bunkmate. Yes, it’s a British comedy from the early nineties. Yes, there are only six episodes a season. Yes, there’s a laugh track. Wait, come back! Where are you going I thought you wanted to watch Red Dwarf!

5. Steven Universe

The terrible tale of a boy who lives with a piece of his dead mother so visible on his body that most of the galaxy expects him to fulfil her destiny rather than writing his own. The funny thing about Steven Universe is that people are still so mad about it for so many reasons but it remains one of the best TV shows of all time so who’s really winning? Don’t watch unless you can handle kids shows trusting their audience doesn’t need everything spoonfed to them lmao

6. Succession

The terrible tale of a family who couldn’t lose everything if they tried, and the kids who failed to keep themselves together. If you’re following me and don’t know this show by now then you need to start putting in more hours on tumblr. Also, that’s Tom!

7. Taskmaster

A despotic control freak and his extremely pathetic and wet assistant force people to compete in a variety of cruel and unusual tasks. Some for the game show to turn your brain off to, stay for the most insane dynamic between two men that you will ever have seen. Then, once you’ve polished off all 15 seasons of the British version, go and enjoy the international Taskmasters. This ride is never going to stop because they’ve discovered the perfect television formula

8. Twin Peaks

The terrible tale of Laura Palmer, who washes up on the shore of a lake, already dead, and then we get to learn everything about her. TV nerds the world over are ready to gush about this show at a moment’s notice and it’s with good reason. One of the few pieces of anything that really can more or less be all things to all people. Plus, it’s a David Lynch show so it’s weird as hell without apology

tagging @valoricky​ @crustacean-frustrations​ @hickeywiththegoodhair​ @duelsong​ @holy-yeosang​ @tomshivyuri​ @fuckyeahashes​ @bby-daesung​ and anyone else who feels like sharing. You can do it or not. It’s fun to talk about things you like though!

#bruuuhhh this was so hard to keep it to 8 #doing 5 would have been easy doing 20 would have been easy but that in between space.... #so many things had to be carefully culled #about me #shitty text post

[sunnykeysmash]

Hey!!

I wanna know what made you a macden truther in the first?

Do you think RCG knows about it???

Oof, this is a hard question to answer, mostly because I've been in the fandom since at least january 2018, so it's been a long time.

I wasn't insane about macdennis at first, I just shipped them normally, but people were posting really good meta on tumblr and it made me look into it deeper, then I guess the information kept making sense and piling up. There have been some great people to talk about sunny meta with over the years, but I still go to @/cutemeat regularly to discuss it and it's always great.

RCG knows about it, 100%.

A few examples:

• The fake script

• The Machelor

• This bullshit

• So much other bullshit I compiled in this pinterest board over the years

• Recently, them calling macdennis a "love affair" and saying they have sexual chemistry, in a live show

• as early as the mac and dennis break up commentary, charlie saying stuff like "they're gay, they're totally gay, there's no denying that they're closeted homosexuals"

And you know, probably a lot of other stuff I can't think of rn, but point is yeah they know!

#ask #then i became so insane i even have a subreddit dedicated to gay dennis truthism but thats just how i roll

[m0e-ru]

👀👀 also i just want to say thank you! i really got into P4 this year and finding your work only amplified my love for it. mim became like my 2nd favorite character all because of you also the stage play it really lives in my head rent free. i love your art and writings, your work has turned a special interest into an even more special one.

hi yeah I read this morning I was tearing up a bit sorrry for being an emotional baby I dont get love letters often maybe thats why im full of love . in exchange. thank yo thankyou for all the nice words it means a lot. here’s A LOT in return. with commentary because it um. was too much for the tags

okay this one was one of the drafts for my 3/20 art this year there was like. four drafts till i settled on this one then went SIKE 🏌️🏌️🏌️ you're doing the dual type ones ( the magazine ones i ended up posting )

MIDNIGHT TV STATION REAL !??? anyway here’s just shadow yukiko and iznmi interaction it’s not finished since there’s no backgrounds yet I swear there are. I did this alll the way back in feb I think and just kept polishing it bit by bit throuhgout the year and it’s STILL not done yet. the horrors came in I couldnt work on bigger pieces anymore since they wouldnt even get FINISHED anyway 💥💥💥 there’s also a s.kanji one but those are a bunch of blobs and text in shorthand mim is such a jokester asking questions n shit to twist people’s heads but yukiko’s just so sweet she really means what she says yknow like this is supposed to be the start of mim remembering what humanity is besides the mindless and selfish desires that technically gave birth to them after tearing them apart from the whole they once were. the LAST few TV stations these women were asking shit like ohhh can we hang a noose here ohhhhhhhh I want it to smell like liquor and rust and this girl was like can I have a castle !!!! can I wear a big pink frilly dress and hold a mic to push my human self’s buttons I think it could work

yeah these are my plans for the m.inaba arc for gsaslau and FUCK IM SO MAD I WAS WRITING ON THE TUMBLR EDITOR BUT IT FUCKED UP THE FORMATTING AND A WHOLE CHUNK OF TEXT IS GONE sorry this post is gonna be a lot longer than it should be okay ! gsaslau Magatsu Inaba arc. Adachi’s besties with the attendant but Mim decides they’re done with the attendant facade and erases everyone’s memories of the guy. They did a bad job at it though so Adachi’s stuck with the awareness that he has a hole in his life that could’ve been avoided if someone did a better job at cleaning up everything that reminds him of memories he’s going insane over thinking they exist when they DON’T to literally everyone else. He makes a deal with the fog to be god’s prohpet and usher in the New World as its Fool so it gives him the answer to whether or not his memories are real and worth bringing back a guy he thinks is dead. Souji tries to stop him and as much as Adachi’s trying to hide his true intentions under the guise he’s justifying himself as a bad guy this whole time, he kinda snaps under pressure that a bunch of kids are being able to stop him despite the help of a god and a world he can manipulate. Mim’s plan was to wait for his Shadow to take over so his body’s properties would be enough for him to become a vessel to manifest Ame-no-Sagiri. But THAT doesn’t happen so they did plan B: go force the power of Persona and wear it like a costume enough to hide their face to stop further awakening more memories that could throw the whole deal off. Souji recognizes that it isn’t the power of Persona so he demands god to stop using their powers through a human just to hide from something, it’s putting the guy in enough pain already. Mim agrees to leave and Adachi’s Shadow finally takes over anddd and yeah I could make a separate post about my writing I wish I had more time and energy for things

okay this one looks simple it’s likeee a manga that was supposed to be a companion piece to some writing that also didn’t get finished. so. I could share that but they’re non proofread discord messages but I promise the draft is there the context is that they’re in Okina and they try out the gacha machines. Mim’s genuinely having fun but they pull a teru teru bozu which um. remind them they’re supposed to dutiful god. like they look like a teru teru bozu. and that they’re supposed to treat this as an experiment to see humans’ true desires so they just shove it to Adachi who harmlessly relates it to them because it honestly looks stupid annd the whole tension dissipates.

here's also a bit of writing alll the way back in feb. i guess the context would be episode 13 and 14 where nanako leaves her loveline umbrella with the fox except this time she doesnt get wet since she had a pit stop at the gas station yaayy :mimyay:

The little girl left her umbrella by the torii with the fox as a gesture of her kind heart. Then she hugged the plastic bag in her arms and began to run straight home.

The rain was pouring hard! The summer wasn't as kind as her, nor would the crashing showers that would come after days of blazing heat.

Every step she took quickly became squickly and soggy as her shoes and socks were already soaked through. Her pigtails were getting heavy and her bangs almost covered her eyes. Just then, she heard a voice in the rain. But before she could look, she slipped forward.

"Ah!" Nanako gasped as she let go of the bag and braced for impact, but heard another "ah-h!" as she was quickly hoisted up with an arm wrapped around her chest, picking her up and felt another arm underneath support her. Her chin now on broad red shoulders that smelled faintly of car exhaust and gas amidst the rain.

The splashing of shoes on the wet pavement along with the crinkling sounds of a plastic bag was heard. Nanako was more worried of whose perfectly dry clothes she drenched with her sopping wet ones.

"You okay, little kiddo?" a familiar voice asked as she was gently set down on dry concrete away from the rain.

"I'm okay," she said, wiping her bangs and looking straight at the stranger in front of her.

It was Moel's gas station attendant, the one Souji works with. "Ah, you're big bro's big b--" she quickly shook her head, "I-I mean, big bro's senpai."

"Heh," the crouched man laughed weakly, it even seemed like he forced that smirk. "I work here too, y'know? Little customer."

"Oh, I'm sorry. And thank you, mister attendant."

"You're welcome, and don't worry about it. 'S not like I'm too mad about it."

An awkward air accompanied the scents of lingering exhaust from the last car and the petrichor from the rain. Although Nanako didn't feel any of this, just to say. It's always been like this with big bro’s senpai, at least how it's been with just Nanako herself. Like right now.

The man continued to crouch and adjust his hat. "Well, you're a silly girl. Why's someone with flowers all over her papers running around in the rain?"

Dunno how long, but I hope you haven't been running around like this for too long. I know you live nearby but your big bro's gonna have to take care of you if you get sick!--I mean, he'll always take care of you. He's a good kid.

If you were out long, I'm impressed how much of this you kept dry! …Just hoped you could've done the same for yourself, hehe.

Ah, but knowledge's different than wisdom, or whatever mister detective said. Hm, he even said I had neither! Maybe that's why I didn't know?

Uh…well….the fox by the shrine…. it was getting wet, so I…

Hm…

Heh, 'can see how you and that kiddo really are alike, little kiddo.

and SURPRISE !!! i found this lying around i thoughtt id add it here because youre so nice and it's so lovely to see you in my notifs all the time THIS IS A JUMPSCARE FOR EVERYONE ELSE sorrryyyy sorry

#persona 4 spoilers #mayonaka terebi suteeshon #gsa sl au #p4 #yukiko amagi #nanako dojima #izanami persona #moel gas station attendant #⛽️🌫 #tohru adachi #adanami #assk #cyphere #boot.tingting #arttag #latigaux #// crazyy crazy my artstyle changed at least a billion times this year and last year #// sorry for all the manga pages and shit out of context i also put a lot since i get like one or two asks on my ask games im trying to mak #// make the most out of it because this gas station doesnt have the best marketing department <- i am the marketing department #// OKAYYYYY OKAY SOSOS MUCH COMMENTARY sorry for not shutting up i am an npc youd get so mad at #// for interacting with because youre stuck with 27 unskippable dialogue boxes if you do #// hi coming back to add more tags since im still awake it means alot to me that i could get people to like this idiot it fills my heart up #// sorry if that.s a bit cheesy. also my heartfelt and genuine apologies i made you trip and fall in this hole somewhat and i cant provide #// as much as i would like to. as a starving man i .i cant really cook much theres rootcrops in my head that um.dont get harvested sometime #// sorry for litera;lly making bullshit analogies that dont make sense i dont have a lot of people to talk to. so those rootcrops just #// grow roots deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and i do pull it out it just takes a while and it s so .big

[remapped-soul]

ngl it's pretty awesome to watch a f1 race live (me at spielberg) but it's also super chaotic. you miss so many moments because you just don't see the whole track, especially if you don't have a good seat. and there are TVs but there is no commentary and you try to keep your eyes on the track and on the tv and talk to your friends and cheer for your fave and and and. it's INSANE.

tl;dr: the story of how i didn't see Charles spinning in spielberg and found out from tumblr

#luna.rants #but it was pretty awesome and i saw thee lestappen moment live #it's my best achievement from my 20s #i will never shut up about it #sth changed for me back then #the internet connection was shit but the minute i got home i burned a whole through ao3 #austria gp 2022 #charles leclerc #max verstappen #lestappen

[syekick-powers]

i've been seeing some posts circulating on tumblr lately that have been like, arguing for why the idea that fantasy/sci-fi is better without certain irl prejudices and bigotries is a bad take. and that in certain stories, purposeful inclusion of things like queerphobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, etc into a narrative can be used as very effective commentary against that particular bigotry by distilling it down into its essence and presenting its negative consequences in an emphasized fashion, to bring to attention otherwise unnoticeable aspects of those bigotries in the actual world.

and yeah. i do agree that portraying bigotries in a sci-fi/fantasy setting is often a good way to commentate on those actual bigotries. but i think a lot of the ways people try to argue that point tend not to address what people who like fantasy/sci-fi stories WITHOUT those things actually like. often times, arguing that using fantasy and sci-fi absent of those bigotries as escapism is portrayed as supremely naive and shallow, like anyone who doesn't enjoy seeing portrayals of people graphically abused for traits they share is somehow weak or pathetic or removed from reality. and it's really getting grating on my nerves.

see. i like a little bit of both. i enjoy certain portrayals of genre fiction that shows real, genuine depictions of bigotry and how it functions on a micro or macro scale, how it negatively affects people and their lives for years and years. but i ALSO very much enjoy escaping into worlds where those bigotries don't exist and are considered ridiculous. because bigotry IS ridiculous. and sometimes i ENJOY stories that portray bigotry towards minority populations as awful, horrid, undesirable behavior, and certainly not an inherent trait for society overall. the idea that a story without IRL bigotries cannot function as a critique of those bigotries is just patently insane to me, because portraying the absence of a bigotry can be just as politically motivated as portraying its presence.

like. think about this. you start reading about a fantasy world where homophobia and transphobia doesn't exist, where queer attraction and gender variance are treated as normal, natural, and completely unremarkable things. do you think this isn't saying something about how our current society views queer attraction and gender variance as dirty, deviant, and disgusting? the story goes out of its way to state that this prejudice is wrong in the way the characters react to anyone who goes against this expectation (i.e. anyone who DOES react with some kind of bigotry towards queer/trans people is treated as an awful person by the narrative and other characters) and repeatedly states the conceit that it is normal and natural again and again: this particular human variance is NOT dirty and deviant, it is so normal that people don't have a concept of it being anything else. that is, in of itself, a political commentary on bigotry. it IS stating that bigotry is a learned trait, that it's not inherent to society, that being bigoted towards people is terrible and that anyone who behaves like that is equally as terrible.

additionally, i feel like there's some nuance lost between individual portrayals of bigotry versus just a narrative's presence or absence of irl bigotry overall. i find portrayals of homophobic/transphobic fantasy/sci-fi stories written by cishet white men to be fundamentally boring and unpalatable because most cishet white men who insert queer/transphobia into their fantasy or sci-fi narratives do so without actually learning about what underpins that bigotry. they don't have a genuine motive to portray the negative effects of queer/transphobia; they include it in their spec fic because they haven't done the work to unlearn those bigotries on a subconscious level and cannot imagine a human society that does not possess hatred of queer sexuality and gender variance, even if they don't understand what kind of motivations underpin those hatreds. they haven't done any work to understand the societal structures that encourage and replicate these bigotries, thus to them the bigotry is reduced to some kind of fundamental essence that cannot be separated from humanity. most stories written by people like this are shallow, and their portrayal of that bigotry is practically abuse porn, where queer/trans characters are put through all manner of horrifying treatment without any kind of emotional catharsis or sympathy given to them by the narrative. stories like these are fundamentally unpleasant to engage with for me, as a queer trans person, because they do not seek to deconstruct bigotry and display its inherent flaws and irrationalities. rather, they seek simply to reproduce those bigotries because the author does not understand how they work or what they come from whatsoever and sees the hatred of minority groups as some kind of inherent feature to being alive and sentient. so. again. the idea that all fantasy or sci fi that portrays irl bigotries is good because it's "critiquing" them or "offering social commentary" on them is just. ridiculous. like i love sci fi and fantasy but writing spec fec does not free you from your biases, and biased authors will write biased stories.

just. like. i understand wanting to see bigotry portrayed realistically. and i understand people who say things like "i want to see this hatred of people like me included in portrayals of people like me because being a target of that hatred has irreversibly shaped my identity and my relationship with the world, so any character who is supposed to represent me who lacks that experience with that hatred doesn't feel like an accurate representation of what people like me go through." i get it. i get it. i get it. but painting spec fic stories portraying irl bigotry as "incisive commentary about how bigotry works" and spec fic stories that don't portray irl bigotry as "bland boring escapism that's only consumed by vapid idiots who aren't in touch with reality" is so unbelievably, absurdly reductive. you need to fucking take this kind of shit on a story by story basis, and look at what the presentation of bigotry is saying in the narrative. sometimes the presence of bigotry is fundamental to the story's themes and the message it is attempting to convey, and separating the bigotry from the story inherently destroys its premise. sometimes bigotry exists in a story as an afterthought only included because the author is trying to be "realistic" without fully understanding the real implications of including that bigotry in their story, and it becomes some shallow bullshit that adds absolutely nothing to a narrative's themes or message and only serves as a vessel for cheap, shocking violence. sometimes a lack of bigotry in a sci-fi/fantasy setting is meant to be a political statement in of itself, as a way of calling to attention the inherent ridiculousness of hating someone for something as shallow as skin color, and is meant to show that bigotry is a learned trait rather an inherent one, telling us that it's possible to eventually create a society where those bigotries no longer exist. sometimes a lack of bigotry in a setting just exists because the author was trying to convey a specific theme that would have been muddled by the addition of that bigotry, and the lack of it has no specific meaning to the story whatsoever.

please for the love of god. just judge each individual story on its own merits instead of trying to smear a particular trope you don't like.

#sye's babbles #no readmore. you will look at my opinion whether you want to or not.