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arieswritez · 3 days

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puppy love

puppy love | yandere!mark grayson x afab!reader | MULTI-CHAP: 3

chapter 2

cw; DARK CONTENT!!! MDNI!!! reader is neurodivergent, ableism, growing up is messy & adults suck, angst, niceguy™/slight incel mark, childhood friend/bully!mark, mark gets his powers sooner, teeny tiny implications of pseudo incest (blink and you'll miss it), violent rape, threats of violence, & canon typical violence, stalking, implied murder, gender & body dysphoria, mentions/implications of disordered eating, mark teases reader about their body once, overall asshole mark, implied grooming (mark handles it but he's a lil bitch about it later), so, victim blaming, misogyny, the inexplicable horrors of being afab, objectification, sexualization

about; you don't know how long i could stare into your picture and wish that it was me i guess it's different 'cause you love him but i've got an interactive sick and twisted imagination and that's gotta count for something - not allowed (tv girl)

you'd found a boy that made your heart go thump thump, thump. and you knew very well how the rest of that story usually went.

your love was encompassing. asphyxiating and obsessive. and in the very first moment the two of you interacted, you knew, this could be it.

you didn't blame yourself.

you couldn't blame yourself.

blame the love stories.

the disney movies with the princes and the magic mirrors. breaking curses with true love's kiss. much like the fabricated sugary fantasies, your potential life with him unfolded before your eyes.

he could be the one.

true love's forever kiss.

you imagined it all.

movie theater dates, awkward parental meetings, proposals, a home, kids, pets. arguments. therapy, even. pushing through at the end. death. rebirth. trying it all over again in the next life.

all you had to do was get him to stick around.

you had to make him understand that you could be his true love kiss, too.

you had to be perfect.

. . there was just one miniscule problem.

the boy so happened be on the same baseball team as mark.

it's the way the two of you had met.

despite the fact that you were supposed to be there for mark: your eyes were . . elsewhere. your eyes - then your focus - had gravitated towards him even before the first pitch. and you found yourself blushing as you watched him stretch: holding his baseball bat over his head.

you'd made it your only goal to attempt to extract as much information about it from mark as discretely as you could. and frankly, you should've known mark would be able to read you like the back of his hand.

because he found out what you were trying to do embarrassingly quickly.

and he was just as quick to shut it down.

you hadn't noticed the boy before. not really. but since the baseball game, he seemed to be everywhere. and you were excited to find that he was the new addition to mark's friend group. you knew this because you saw him and mark sitting together during lunch.

which meant they were at least acquaintances.

so imagine your shock when you came to find out. . mark didn't like him.

everything about him seemed to rub mark the wrong way. mark would clam up the moment you mentioned your boy. he'd change the subject. or his mood would just straight up sour. he'd go quiet and avoidant. and when you kept pushing, he finally snapped.

your boy was stupid.

your boy was shallow.

"don't say i didn't warn you." mark would mumble.

but warning you wasn’t enough.

your boy barely looked at you.

and you weren't sure if it was in part because of the way you acted. . the way you looked. maybe he was so out of your league that he'd completely removed you from his radar.

you'd watch him from across hallways and excitement would swell in your chest when you found that you'd be walking in opposite directions.

you'd see him coming.

he'd see you.

time would slow as you walked past him.

your heart rate would pick up.

but his eyes would remain forward and time would pick back up again as soon as you were past each other.

all it'd leave you with was the bitter taste of rejection in your mouth and a deep ache of anxiety bubbling in your stomach.

the only thing that sobered you up were the dizzying possibilities.

he hadn't seen you. he hadn't noticed the effort you'd put in.

but eventually, he would.

you don't know what it was that grabbed his attention.

mark was vehemently against introducing you two.

you were at a loss until you realized that you'd just have to try harder.

whenever mark left for the bathroom, you'd made it a mission to swipe mark's phone during study sessions. you'd go through his socials and send yourself screenshots of both his follower count and who he was following.

it was a long tedious progress but eventually, you'd found your boy's account.

thankfully, it was public. which meant the the decoy accounts you'd made to snoop just in case he was private turned out to be a waste of time.

you looked through his followers and did your homework on anyone he showed a particular interest in. you'd even made a list of the usernames of the people who’s posts he interacted with the most.

and soon you became a master of disguise.

you studied them top to bottom.

those that went to the same school were far easier to emulate.

you copied their mannerisms, the way they styled their hair, you changed the cadence of your voice, the way you rolled your r’s. your clothing grew tighter and your slouch was now an exaggerated upbeat gallop as you chased after the object your new affection, hoping one day he'd notice.

. . and the exact moment he looked into your eyes and did a double take. . you did one, too.

it was completely out of surprise before you caught yourself and continued to saunter away from him with butterflies in your stomach: flapping their wings so violently it felt like you'd be swept away.

his attention was the most excitement you'd felt. . in a long time.

and you knew you'd do anything to retain it.

it was a sickly sweet feeling: syrupy, sticky. clogging your vascular system to the point your head swelled. the lack of oxygen only heightened your fantasies.

the attention was addictive and so, so good you found yourself chasing that high all the time. going to extreme lengths to get his attention. even if they’d end up embarrassing you after.

you never allowed yourself to wallow in the feeling of dread that settled in your stomach when you did everything in your power to get his attention, though.

specially whenever it made a smile stretch across his face.

whatever you did faded into the background.

it was all worth it in the end.

something was wrong with mark.

and he needed to get to the root of the problem fast.

he was looking at you. . differently.

he talked to his dad.

nolan had said something about the changing moods having to do with his powers. how being intense and passionate was just in his blood.

he talked to his mom about it. albeit in a more discrete way. he'd never be able to live it down if she'd found out you were making him behave a certain way.

she'd just chalked it up to it being puberty.

mark didn't know who to believe.

he just wanted to stop thinking about you.

his nerves were shot to shit whenever you were near.

senses heightened: you were a fog blanketing his brain until your voice carried with it a technicolor vision.

he could smell you coming like a damn blood hound.

he could hear your pulse while sitting next to you.

something was wrong with mark.

he knew it when his teeth ached when you'd stretched your neck: raised your arms over your head and let out a little sound of pain and discomfort.

something was wrong with mark.

when the day's turned warm and wet. . and your clothing became more revealing.

he could see more of you.

freckles and moles, blemishes and scars, he hadn't noticed before.

he'd follow sweat drops rolling down your skin.

smooth. soft.

he'd held you, once.

when was the last time?

something was wrong with mark.

he'd lay awake at night staring up at the ceiling.

thinking about how you'd looked while you concentrated on a book. while you looked down at your phone. while you listened to music: smiling when a song you liked came on.

your little humming. . but not singing.

never singing.

mark noticed you'd stopped singing in front of him when he started to make fun of you for it.

that, too, was how mark knew something was wrong with him.

the way your moods would shift like tides under a crescent moon whenever he'd said something excited him. he felt pleasure - a violent zap of electricity shooting up and down his spice - watching your eyes light up or darken when he'd say something to you.

about you.

i like your hair today.

light.

you talk so goddamn much.

dark.

i missed you.

light.

your stories take fucking forever.

dark.

something was wrong with him when he found his own mood depended on fantasizing on how he'd make you feel that day.

if he was in a bad mood, seeing you in one, too, was a sure-fire way to make his day a whole lot better.

something was wrong with mark.

when he'd have to smother the sounds he made while imagining you -

something was wrong with him. . when red, hot anger consumed him when one of his friends made a smart quip about your body.

when he couldn't just laugh it off anymore.

something was wrong with mark.

. . or so he thought.

because he'd later find out. .

. . no.

something was wrong with you.

all of a sudden: mark was the one double texting.

triple texting.

mark was the one asking if he could hang out. . and when the fuck did he ever need permission?

mark was the one seeking you out.

something was wrong with you.

and he needed to get to root of the problem.

he picked his brain apart in an attempt to figure out what it was. you couldn't be under any stress. you looked fine. better than fine.

you looked happy.

fucking elated.

to the point where mark couldn't affect your moods anymore.

mark wanted to know what the fuck you were so happy about.

why the fuck you were so happy when he was falling apart at the seams. when his world was crashing down.

and there you were, completely fucking oblivious.

mark had always been curious.

and so, he went to see you.

the two of you were in your room.

you'd excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

and mark started looking.

you were predictable.

he knew where you kept your journal. despite how many times he'd found it and read it aloud - holding it above his head whenever you tried to snatch it away - he'd always managed to figure out your next hiding place.

it was easier that way.

he pretended he didn't know where it was.

you pretended to have some privacy.

he pretended not to know every single, minute, insignificant detail of your life.

of your thoughts.

thank fuck you were still so naive.

thank fuck for dairies.

he'd found it in a box under your bed.

and after flipping to the page with the freshest set of ink. . he'd found out what your problem was.

you'd found a boy who'd made your heart go

thump.

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envysparkler · 2 days

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Jason might’ve mentioned a passing interest in meeting Robin—the old Robin, because he was going to be the new Robin, only judging from the low, furious conversation and the death glares, Bruce hadn’t exactly mentioned that to Nightwing—but he wasn’t expecting Bruce to leave him alone with the guy.

“Justice League emergency,” Bruce had interrupted, cutting off Dick’s half-hearted tour of the parts of the Cave Jason hadn’t explored, and disappeared through a zeta tube with a simple behave for Jason and a growled watch over him for Dick. Leaving Jason with the guy that spent the entire visit seething in unconcealed distaste.

Alfred wasn’t home, he had left on one of his rare days off, or perhaps he was aware of the cloud of tension that formed whenever Dick and Bruce got too close to each other, and Jason understood that heroes and emergencies were a part of life, but he didn’t enjoy that that meant that Jason and Dick were left alone in the abruptly resoundingly empty Cave.

“Right,” Dick muttered, not quite under his breath, “I don’t know why I ever expect anything different.” The bitterness was palpable. “Two and half goddamn hours, and he leaves to space.”

Jason shrunk back slightly. It had been clear from the start that this visit was not for him, and his desire to meeting the original Robin had fast dwindled in favor of getting out of ground zero before Bruce and Dick actually started yelling.

Dick blew out a sharp breath and turned on his heel, suddenly enough that Jason flinched. Dick froze, staring at him like he’d forgotten that Jason existed. Jason couldn’t read the expression on his face, and didn’t think he wanted to.

“Jason,” Dick said, carefully pronouncing his name. His blue eyes were sharp and cold. “So. New Robin, huh.” His face stretched into a smile that looked warm for all that it was plastic.

“Yup,” Jason said, inching back another step. “Uh, it was nice to meet you. I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Where are you going?” Perfectly level, calm and even, but it still forced a chill down his spine.

Jason had been terrified of Batman, but terrified in the way he was of shadows and ghosts. Abstract. Not real. Once Batman had proved himself to be human, all that was left was a man—large and trained and dangerous, but who got scolded by his butler and forgot to put on matching socks and bought Jason a stepstool to reach the books on the tallest shelves.

Bruce wasn’t scary.

Not the way that Richard Grayson seemed to be. Quicksilver manipulation of his expressions, smiling when he didn’t mean it, and cold, cold eyes—Jason wasn’t reminded of monsters or demons. He was reminded of the gang members that watched him ducking into alleys with just a little too much intent, the narrowed eyes of his mother’s dealer, the bright, fake smiles that marked the cops he had to run from.

And Jason was here with him, all alone. Robin—Nightwing—trained and dangerous and currently looking at Jason like he wanted to leave him in pieces for Bruce to find.

Jason had read a book with facts about robins just last week. Robins are territorial birds, and disputes can get physical. Fights to the death often occur.

“Upstairs?” Jason hated the way it turned into a question. “I was reading a book, and—um, I wanted to finish it?”

“We haven’t finished our tour,” Dick said, and Jason had preferred the low-voiced hiss to the casual neutrality. “Come on, there’s lots of cool stuff here I bet Bruce hasn’t shown you yet.”

Jason dithered in place, casting a glance at the stairs—Dick was already walking away, heading for the back of the Cave—but as much as common sense was shrieking at him to stay away, go upstairs, don’t stay down in the dimly lit cave with the guy that hates you, Jason was still the kid that looked at the Batmobile and decided to steal some tires.

“Fine,” Jason said, hurrying up to match Dick’s pace. “But I don’t know what you can show me that Bruce hasn’t already.”

“Oh,” Dick’s expression twitched, something flashing for a second, “You’d be surprised.”

~#~

Jason, mouth agape and neck protesting as he stared up at the acrobatics equipment, was speechless. Dick was breathless and flushed and grinning widely, and fuck, this was what Jason had wanted to see. Not Bruce’s sulky other son, or the cold, dangerous Nightwing, but Robin.

“Bruce showed you that yet?” Dick teased, calling down to him from where he was swinging upside down from the ring.

“How do you do that?” Jason breathed out, too amazed to feign at disinterest. Dick had moved like he was an actual fucking bird, like gravity was for lesser things.

“Practice,” Dick laughed, flipping off from the ring and flopping down on the safety net. Even across the rope, he was all fluidity and grace, flipping once more before he reached the ground.

“Bullshit,” Jason rebutted, looking up at the silks and the ropes and the swings, the scaffolding, the way Dick flew—“Tell me the truth. You’re a meta, aren’t you.”

Dick laughed again, bright and twinkling. He looked much happier than the sullen teenager that had met Bruce’s hesitant hope with a scowl. “Nope, just practice. Grew up in the circus. I could fly before I could run.”

“That’s so cool,” Jason said, looking back up at the scaffolding. “Can you teach me how to do that?” Flying through the air, spinning and flipping without a care in the world, unbound by physical constraints…it sounded like the best thing in the world. It sounded like freedom.

It took him too long to realize that Dick hadn’t responded. He turned towards the older boy and saw Dick stock still, expression frozen in a pinched grimace. When he saw Jason staring at him, he turned away. “Sure,” Dick said, in a voice that wasn’t even remotely believable, and Jason flushed at the reminder that Dick didn’t want him here. “Maybe later. You need a lot of training first. How about you show me what Bruce is teaching you so far?”

There was a bite to the words, and Jason had too much of Gotham in him to not respond to the challenge. “Was that an offer to kick your ass?” Jason retorted, stalking past Dick and towards the sparring area. Need a lot of training first. Well, while perfect Richard Grayson had been growing up in the goddamn circus, Jason had been living on the streets. He knew how to fight. “I’m ready when you are, Dick.”

That cold smile was back, like Dick was trying to figure out just where he wanted to stick the knife, and Jason thrummed impatiently on the balls of his feet as Dick slowly made his way to the sparring area.

#my snippets #dick&jay #first meeting

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orionsangel86 · 2 days

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One thing DBD has got me thinking about is how the afterlife works in this universe now. Because before I figured Death came took your hand and dropped you off where you were meant to go - which was whichever afterlife you believed in or Hell if you were a bad person.

But now with the expansion of the universe we know Death isnt infallible. We know from the original comics that she only lets the boys go because she is dealing with A LOT of crap thanks to Lucifer kicking all the dead folk out of Hell so they are all back on Earth. Edwin and Charles manage to slip past her because she doesnt have time to chase them, but it never seems like she isn't aware of them.

But now, there are plenty of ghosts that don't go with Death. Can they just refuse to take her hand so she just shrugs and says okay go be a ghost bye! Because imagine if that had happed in The Sound of Her Wings. Dream standing there like 🧍‍♂️while his sister is arguing with a dead person who refuses to go with her. Humorous sure but not quite fitting the tone!

Then there is the suicide lore, which griped me actually. Suicide victims dont get to move on? They just wonder the Earth for all eternity? What?? But we see the suicide forest in Hell in Sandman, so suicide victims go to Hell in this universe (which aligns with Hellblazer/Constantine view I believe?) Does Death just not take suicide victims now? Does she get annoyed at people taking death into their own hands? Unlikely.

Then there is the whole Afterlife beaurocracy. How does that work? Is that something separate to Death's realm? Or IS IT Death's realm? Is this beaurocratic nightmare part of the Sunless Lands? Again, it doesn't seem quite right for Death as we know her.

Maybe the Afterlife department is something different. But Death dropped off the axe murdered family at that department for "processing" right? So clearly this department isn't the actual final resting place for the dead. Are the characters like Night Nurse and her superior Death's versions of Lucienne and Mervyn? Did she create them? Or is it totally separate from her?

I just have SO many questions about all this. Please let me know your thoughts or if I missed something.

#dead boy detectives #death of the endless #the sandman

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avensthetic · 1 day

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𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐄, 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐆𝐄𝐔𝐒𝐄 (yuuri)

as i stared up at something in the sky you told me they were stars just like us, they nestle close at times crying, laughing, and connecting

𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚, 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙜𝙚𝙪𝙨𝙚

━━ ╸sometimes, even when i think i've tricked everyone, even myself, the weight of it all feels like it'll drown me. i've wanted to give up more times than i'd admit, felt the pull of just sinking into the arms of death and letting it all go. there are nights i think i would have, if not for the promise i made under a sky i can barely remember.

i still have you.

the way you smile, how your eyes catch the light like those damn stars in the sky. you make me think maybe, just maybe, there's more to this life than the shadows that chase me. you're my betelgeuse, guiding me when i'm lost, reminding me there's still a reason to keep going.

love, kakavasha aventurine

aventurine leaned against the railing of his ludicrously expensive penthouse balcony. the city lights twinkled below, a mockery of the stars above. even this high up, he could never escape the whispers. avgin. murderer. loser. slave. they'd followed him from the streets to the boardrooms, even here in his private space, a relentless chorus in his head.

a soft sound made him turn. you were there, sleep-tousled and wrapped in a blanket, starlight glinting in your eyes. a smile, the kind meant only for him, softened your face.

“couldn't sleep?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper. he'd always loved that about you, the gentleness that saw through his practiced veneer.

“the usual," aventurine shrugged, the lie slipping easily from his tongue.

your hand found his, small and warm and somehow infinitely precious. “do you... want to talk about it? or..." you tilted your head upwards, "want to watch the stars for a while?"

the familiar ache blossomed in his chest. the stars pulsed in the night sky, and for a moment, he allowed himself to imagine. a different life, maybe. one where the weight of his past didn't threaten to crush every tender thing he dared to want. one where he could look at you with nothing but love, no shadows hanging over his heart.

but the world wasn't made of dreams and wishing on stars. “just for a little while," he said, squeezing your hand. the warmth of you beside him was unbearably sweet, and for tonight, he would let himself hold on to it.

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕 - 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

#💌. from me to you #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x you #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr imagines #aventurine x y/n

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cursedvibes · 3 days

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I really don't like how in the new chapter all of Yuuji's individuality and specialty gets reduced to his body. It quite literally says it doesn't matter who operates his body, all that counts is what they use it for and then it works on autopilot, Yuuji himself doesn't have to do anything. The only reason he got this far and learned so fast is because other people used his body. He himself, as a person, is nothing special and has no unique skills. It's all his inherited physical capability and the people taking advantage of it.

After sitting on it a bit, I think I get what Gege is going for here and the message that once again gets underlined.

Even people who claim to care about him as a person like Choso perpetuate this narrative. Choso says without any pushback that Yuuji should eat the remaining Death Paintings to make his body stronger and swap souls with someone else so they can also improve on his body. No one ever questions if Yuuji is alright with that or what he himself could contribute, if he could maybe just learn something on his own through regular training with Kusakabe. They all say for Yuuji to get better as quickly as possible, his body has to get better if he likes it or not. And that's why Yuuji goes along with it because other people must know best what's good for him, he can't even understand his own physique after all. Let them make the decisions about him, he'll just do the dirty work of going out there in the end and punching Megumi out of Sukuna. He gets objectified again just like when he was still the vessel who was meant to seal Sukuna once and for all and gets executed to rid the world of the King of Curses for good. Same principle, different method. He can take the lead in planning how to kill Sukuna, the thing he was created to do, but he can't make decisions about his own body.

Yuuji is just a tool for others to use. For him to have any value as a sorcerer more skilled and experienced people have to use his body or he uses their body (Death Paintings, Sukuna) to take their skills for himself in the service of others.

The only thing unique to him at the moment (who knows for how long) is his perception and targeting of souls. It seems to be something you can't just inherit or gain by being or having a vessel as Sukuna can't do the same thing. The only other people who could do it were Mahito and to a degree Yuki. And this is what gives Yuuji an advantage over Sukuna and what can be used to actually hurt him. RCT and Simple Domain keeps him alive, Blood Manipulation and Shrine are distractions, but his soul punches are what got Sukuna in the miserable state he's in now.

#trying to make a meaningful spin on this #I still feel like Gege is leaning too heavily on the crutch that is Yuuji's body and his lineage #just let Yuuji improve on his own jfc he has the drive to do it #and the cog mentality could be explored through it as well #but we'll see #jjk spoilers #itadori yuuji #jjk 258

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sadokasochism · 9 hours

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I am destroyed over the whole god/worshipper dynamic and have no idea how to adequately put it into words.

I mentioned in another post that Mizi could not fathom Sua ACTUALLY dying, or comprehend what death really meant, and attributed this to her relatively comfortable and sheltered life as the pet of Shine. She was not taught to conceptualise death as a loss, and she never faced any opposition to that world view. From what we know, she might have never really known true, lasting pain or loss before the end of Round 1.

However, her reaction could also be due to her placing Sua on a pedestal as her personal god and universe. She viewed Sua as her absolute everything, and why would any faithful worshipper believe their god could be killed? Only, while Sua was everything to HER, that perception did not carry over to their captors. Mizi's love and devotion was not enough to save Sua. Forces stronger than them both took her away like she was nothing.

How must Mizi have felt, having her perception of Sua as the centre of the universe shattered that way? Coming to the violent realisation that Sua was just another human, and that humans are indeed that vulnerable and disposable? That Sua could now only exist in memories and in the visions that haunt her? That Sua is not a god, but a ghost?

Now we look at Till's perception of Mizi. Again, in an earlier post I mentioned the tragedy of Till falling for someone who did not have a reason to leave. He had a lot of blind faith in Mizi, and it could be said that he idealised her as a paragon.

It's not hard to see how he reached this point. The poor kid had not been shown a lot of kindness in his life, and so meeting someone who was genuinely good and so full of joy must have had a huge impact on him.

However, his faith is still a blind one, but in a different way to Mizi's blind faith in Sua. He is happy to endure any amount of horrible treatment and does not expect anyone to help him. He doesn't resent Mizi for being so close to their captors, for her dreams stopping at Alien Stage. He doesn't resent her after he gives up on his chance at freedom and is subjected to who knows how many more years of pain and torment at the hands of their captors (Not that Mizi is at fault, Till made his own decision that Mizi likely never even knew about).

He sees Mizi's innocence and ignorance to the cruelty of their reality as something wonderful instead of a character flaw that prevents her from saving herself or her loved ones.

Sua has the same issue, seeking comfort and bliss within Mizi's brightness instead of acknowledging the cruel reality of their world. Maybe she felt sharing her perspective with Mizi would dim Mizi's bright spirit, and so she was more than content to wait out the clock with her god.

Maybe Sua felt that meeting Mizi, loving her and being loved by her in return, was nothing short of a miracle after the life she had lived before Anakt Garden. Maybe she felt in light of that, aspiring for something like freedom or a long, long life of happiness with the person she loved the most was asking far too much. The time she got with Mizi was already a miracle, why expect or demand anything more?

If Sua was afraid of Mizi losing her brightness, no wonder she was so affected by Ivan's lecture about becoming a source of trauma for Mizi after her death.

Ivan's view of Till as his god is a bit different. He is similar in that he doesnt seem to demand his devotion be reciprocated, he just wants his god to acknowledge him as a person, as someone that is at least PART of Till's universe, if he can't be all of it.

He is also very willing to become a martyr for his god while expecting nothing in return but Till continuing to live. He acknowledges Till as vulnerable and falable in a way that Till doesn't with Mizi, and Mizi didn't with Sua. He knows damn well that while Till is the centre of HIS universe, their captors certainly do not hold Till in that same regard. He knows that love and devotion in a vacuum does not save anyone.

Which is why he was always the one to free Till, to try and escape with him, and why he pulled the stunt he did in Round 6. Ivan knew that actually making an impact in this world required personal risk and sacrifice, because their captors don't give a fuck if you're in love or if that other pet-human they're about to kill means everything to you.

Till knew this too, but his idealised version of Mizi is too perfect to be broken and beaten down by this world the same way the rest of them have been. So he's still shattered by Round 5, seeing how far Mizi has fallen and then not knowing if she's alive or dead, but knowing for sure she is far out of reach. I wonder, did he regret not running away with Ivan at that point? Did he wonder what all those years of suffering were for, if he was just going to end up losing Mizi anyway? If this world was able to break her too, no matter what he did?

Mizi is gone and changed forever, and nothing he did could stop it. His love and devotion and sacrifice wasn't enough. He failed his god.

In Round 6, Ivan is faced with the same thing. His god has lost his fighting spirit, is changed forever, and Ivan's love and devotion wasn't enough to save him. The last thing he can give is his life, and hope that will be enough. Just like Sua. But he was never Till's god, was never even part of his universe, he probably won't even leave a ghost behind. So, the choice is obvious, really.

They're all so desperate for hope and connection in this lonely, painful existence that they make a person their entire universe, and then are repeatedly crushed when they are shown again and again that their soul-consuming love for one another is seemingly meaningless in a world that views them as infinitely disposable.

#alien stage #alien stage mizi #alien stage sua #alien stage ivan #alien stage till #alnst #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst ivan #alnst till #mizisua #mizitill #ivantill #basically i will never know peace again

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legitalicat · 2 days

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Appalachian Trailer Park!Sihtric - dating (SFW)

AN: This was supposed to be headcanons but now it's just turned into ramblings oops. This is not necessarily meant to be a universal Appalachian experience portrayal, but it is basically very close to mine and most people I grew up with. 😅

Masterlist here!

CW: Some sad moments, character death, AFAB!reader, talks of murder, talks of violence, blood a little, FLUFF (like tooth rotting kinda vibes)

Pairings: Sihtric Kjartansson x You

Word count: I'm guessing between 1 and 1.5k but I'm not real sure 😬 I kinda went crazy I will admit

You had lived in the same trailer park in the foothills of Appalachia your entire life. Despite anything that might lead someone to believe different, you liked it here. True, part of you longed for more. But how could one find more when their heart belonged to the mountains?

And maybe the cute guy who lived in the trailer across from yours had part of the reason to do that.

See, Sihtric moved in with his grandma, across from you, when you were both just entering high school. Your momma found out that Miss Ethel's daughter had been killed by her husband, and she had to take in her grandson because of it.

Miss Ethel was a lovely woman. She always volunteered to watch everyone's kids, during the summer she'd help provide the lemonade and the jar for catching lightning bugs. If anyone needed anything, from a cup of sugar to knowledge on hiding a body, Miss Ethel was there.

So, your little community welcomed the boy without a doubt. He didn't really cause any trouble, for the most part. Mostly just cussing in front of the little ones without thinking or throwing something in a fit of anger and making a loud noise.

Surely, wasn't a punishable crime.

Though it helped that you, the girl who helped tutor anyone who asked and baked cookies for the miners to have after their shifts, was sweet on him.

And boy, was he sweet on you.

He was working on his dirt bike in the driveway and you stepped onto your porch. Immediately, he fumbled around and dropped his wrench and cussed like a sailor.

Your cheeks heated up and you would debate to yourself on whether to go back inside or pretend like he wasn't there.

But your eyes connected. You waved. He waved. And it was the easiest thing in the world.

You started dating that same night, after he offered to teach you about his dirt bike and it ended with him kissing you.

Despite the doubts, you and Sihtric stayed together through it all.

Every year in high school began and ended with you walking through doors of the school hand in hand.

You both graduated, though him only by a thread.

He was there as you started college two towns over, close enough to commute daily so were still together.

You watched as he started working for the local garage.

When you were both twenty, Miss Ethel passed.

It felt sudden, especially for Sihtric, but you found out she had been sick for a while and just hid it from everyone. Including her grandson.

If anyone asked him, you were his rock.

You explained the situation to your college professors, and if you could make sure to keep up with your assignments according to the syllabus, they would find a way to make it work.

So you all but moved in with him officially in the weeks following. You had originally planned on waiting until you got your degree.

But you felt the need to take care of him. And at first he was just angry, angry at everything and the world and the gods and even God who he didn't believe in. He was going to work and coming home and going straight to bed. He wasn't eating, wasn't talking to you.

So, like any good girlfriend, you told him either he let you help him or you would beat him with a broom.

For the first time in weeks he laughed. You started staying with him that night and you just never left.

Before you knew it, you had graduated college, gotten a job in your field, and Sihtric was being poised to take over as shop foreman in the next few years.

And yet, you stayed where you were.

The trailer was nice. It would be fine until you got enough money saved up to buy a house big enough for the brood that Sihtric seemed to want.

For now? For now you had everything you needed. Sure the windows leaked sometimes if the rain rolled down the metal wrong way. Sure, Sihtric would sometimes have to spend a few days working on something else that broke.

But you had him. And that was enough.

The weeks may have been dedicated to work, but the weekends were for you.

Yes, you both always went to bed together. You always were affectionate (the man was a hugging machine after all).

But Saturdays he would wake you up by running a bubble bath for the both of you, using your favorite scent.

Then you would go get breakfast, usually going to Tudor's Biscuit World so he could get a bacon egg and cheese biscuit bigger than your face. You would get, as you called it, a deconstructed pot pie that you joked with him you would leave him for. He would tell you that would give him more money to work on his car.

But he would get you a pot pie at least once a week just because it made you smile. And you would get in the way help him at the fourteen million car parts stores he would go to just because you loved seeing him do what he loved.

Sometimes you'd go to the mall. It was slowly dying, all the family friendly fun stores quickly leaving. But there were still some good parts.

Like Rural King where you could get free popcorn and look at turkeys, chickens, and rabbits (plus any dog that people brought with them).

You would inevitably get sad when you were reminded you couldn't bring home the animals. Like, tears in your eyes, heart aching sad because you just wanted them to have a home.

Which would be forgotten, until you came back at least, when Sihtric promised you he would buy you a milkshake and a stuffed animal or a book of your choice.

Sihtric watched as you practically skipped to the bookstore. You spent an hour there, talking about books you wanted to read but couldn't buy because you couldn't buy the whole series and you were not doing that to yourself right now.

So, after getting your milkshake, you would go find a stuffed animal that spoke to your soul.

He would carry around the contenders for you, because it was those specific ones that spoke to you and you couldn't risk putting them back until you were certain.

And when, inevitably, you came to two that you couldn't pick between, he would tell you get both.

He spoiled you, truly.

Sometimes you would go to a local bar. Not because you personally drank, but mostly because watching drunk people do karaoke tickled something inside your brain.

It also meant Sihtric would wear his white tank top, which showed off his arms in the perfect way. And maybe you would be jealous over the way women looked at him. But how could you be when his arms were wrapped around you all night.

The man was not at all subtle about showing you off.

And if a drunken idiot got too bold with his words about you, Sihtric would suddenly be in protective mode. His voice firm and commanding when he gave the warning to the idiot, making your face a little hot (which you swore had everything to do with embarrassment and definitely not how his voice affected you).

If that wasn't enough to deter someone, and they dared touch you, that was it.

See the only reason you and Sihtric had not been banned from this bar was because Sihtric played just inside the rules.

No fighting in the bar. Fine. Sihtric wouldn't.

He would just gently move away from you before grabbing whoever touched you and throwing them out the door and into the dirt.

He would spend a few minutes wailing on the idiot, getting hit a time or two himself since he had had a few drinks.

But he would come back, knuckles busted, some blood on his shirt or spattered along his face, a bloody lip.

He would settle back in his spot as a waitress brought y'all an ice bucket and the first aid kit (which they regularly replenished now because of Sihtric).

You would get him just cleaned up enough, his hands in the ice for a few minutes at best, when he declared he was done and tired and just wanted to be with you.

So you would drive home, with a tipsy Sihtric singing loudly whatever love song played on the radio cause you would need further proof of his love.

You would settle into bed, being held close to him as you read to him until he fell asleep, and you followed him soon after.

Sundays would depend on you.

Sihtric practiced Norse paganism. You parents were very active in their Methodist church. It caused some conflict, especially when Sihtric started talking about your future children.

If you wanted to go to church with them, Sihtric would kiss you before you left to go and be in the parking lot to pick you up afterwards. There would always be flowers waiting for you. Sometimes it would be dandelions, as you insisted they were beautiful even if they were weeds, sometimes butter cups, and sometimes you got lucky and he had seen tiger lilies.

He would smile at you and kiss you while he handed them to you, ask if the service was good, and then take you somewhere to get lunch.

If you didn't really partake in their church, you both would stay in bed until noon. When you would wake up, you'd crawl out of bed and cooked some breakfast foods that would wake Sihtric up. He would sleepily stumble in the kitchen, grabbing the coffee you set out for him.

Sunday was a lazy day. You guys lounged around the house. Sometimes you both would play video games, sometimes you would watch a show.

There were times when Sihtric's friends from work, Uhtred, Finan, and Osferth, would come over on Sundays. You liked those guys a lot, if you were honest. They were all respectful of you, and kind, and Osferth cleaned up after them so you wouldn't have to. And mostly, they made Sihtric happy.

Sihtric and you would walk over to your parents' for Sunday dinner around 5pm.

Despite the differences in beliefs, and the way your dad not so subtly didn't really like him, Sihtric was respectful and kind to them.

He was the one who insisted you come, telling you he would give anything to have dinner with his family one more time, even if he didn't remember his dad fondly. Family was important to him, even if yours didn't like him, and he wanted you to have that

He would stay quiet, even taking his hat off when your dad would say grace.

He would make polite conversation, always eagerly bragging about you whenever he got the chance.

Sihtric would compliment your momma's cooking. She liked him, but since your dad didn't she tried to act like she didn't.

But she always managed to get him a little extra food to take home, would put his favorite cobbler in the dessert rotation, and make sure his favorite drink was always somewhere to be found.

Your dad was polite. That was about all he could manage. And that was fine, according to Sihtric, because he knew your dad couldn't bitch him out for making you happy.

Sunday nights would end back in your home. You would listen to his talkings of your life together. The promises he made.

He insisted once he became foreman, he would buy you a big house with a dishwasher and enough room for all the animals you could ask for.

You two would be able to have a family of your own, ideally with four children or more, and he would give you everything.

You assured him you knew he would keep the promises he made you. But you always thought to yourself how you would be perfectly content with him, here, forever.

You had a roof over your head, food in your kitchen, electricity and water on demand, and a whole lotta love. You had Sihtric.

It was a simple life. But it was yours.

Side note I could not find the original source of this picture if someone knows please let me know.

Taglist: @foxyanon

#sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #appalachian life #appalachian sihtric #the last kingdom #headcanon #fic

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bloodpen-to-paper · 11 months

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When Juanaflippa died, she was the first. No one knew how to react. Charlie and Mariana expressed the rage, the denial, and it was a spectacle of roleplay followed up by a wacky trial made for laughs. At this point, the rest of the server were still getting used to their eggs, so only Charlie and Mariana felt that twinge of pain from losing an egg. But when you remember Juanaflippa, you remember an explosion. A marvel.

Next Trump died. Maxo made you feel heartbroken with the image of a grieving father wallowing in misery and self destruction. But it was all still early, and most people didn't even notice. Trump died from neglect. Dan never saw him after adoption day. The server didn't come together like they did Juanaflippa. It was all very quiet. To this day, not many people in the community could tell you anything about Maxo's kid. About how hard his father bargained for his life between the gods. About how he failed. Trump was a whisper in the wind that only his father and those who watched him could bother to hear.

Then Tilín. At this point, the server was becoming more accustomed to the eggs. They were becoming attached. When Tilín died, it was depressing in every sense of the word. Quackity was somber, he barely spoke a word when he heard what had happened. A grave was built for Tilín by others with a heavy heart. There was no spectacle, and this time most people were involved in some way. Luzu came on to meet Tilín, and had to deal with that grief of being told his child was dead, something so heavy on him that he shut down completely. In life and in death, Tilín was the embodiment of sadness.

Bobby. The first death since Tilín. The first death in a long time. Everything had changed for the server. The eggs are their babies, their world. Everyone gathered to grieve Bobby, because they're a community now unlike ever before. But its different this time, they aren't there to witness a marvel from a distance, or grieve in sympathy. Bobby was a celebration. Music and dancing and memories. Toasts and cheering his name until the final moment. And having a final clap in his name after. Bobby was life. Because they're all scared now, terrified for their children. But they know what to expect this time. They're ready. They knew not to watch Jaiden and Roier grieve from the sidelines, they knew not to turn their backs on the two, and they would be sad but by god would they be happy as well. The server celebrated Roier and Jaiden, celebrated Bobby, and accepted his death with his name being shouted into the sky.

#its about the grief cycle #juanaflippa is anger/denial #tilin is depression #trump is bargaining which is often the most forgotten part #bobby is acceptance #their deaths all meant something different #now we wait and see what happens next #fic #qsmp #qsmp fic #qsmp analysis #qsmp juanaflippa #qsmp trump #qsmp tilin #qsmp bobby #qsmp tubbo

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animentality · 5 months

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I know everyone wants stories with happy endings, and they all hate when the main characters die, and insist well what's the point of the story then, it didn't matter at all! they died!

but.

I don't know. do the stories of those who die at the end not matter at all?

because if that's the case, I have news about the stories told by everyone who has ever lived in this world.

we all die at the end. we are all doomed by the narrative.

but our stories still matter.

#writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #listen it can be done well it can be done poorly #but i dont get this hatred of characters dying at the end and everyone not getting their happy ending #its not about realism #its about what the author is trying to say #some characters die because they need to die #because it fulfills their character arc it enhances it #it makes a difference #and there is catharsis in understanding that sometimes people die for a good cause for a glorious purpose #we all die #isnt there relief in seeing a story where our special friends die but it mattered in the end and death was something meaningful #if it was embraced with dignity #am i making any sense #i just know my own death wont matter #i like following stories where the mc dies but #it meant something the way mine will not #and the vast majority of people do not die for a good cause or with purpose #and those who do are heroes in our reality #but why are they so reviled in fiction #let your characters deaths mean something

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running-in-the-dark · 11 days

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today would have been my dad's 76th birthday 😔

#it's.... really weird to think about for a dozen different reasons #first of all he died 8 years ago. he didn't even make it to 70 #and also. man this is so weird but my brain is stupid so. that's how old John is and it reminds me that he will die too and I don't like #thinking about that #I should only ever like people who can't die. Jenkins. I'll only like Jenkins from now on he's immortal he's safe #except one day John will die (no he won't I refuse to accept that) and then I'll think about that whenever I see Jenkins and it will be sad #I don't think I was meant to be human tbh. I should be a cat with no concept of death 😔#personal #(how fucked up that this is what my brain cares about. not like oh I miss my dad. no. this guy I don't even know will die. 🤦)#(I do miss my dad but that's like. I don't know it's just a constant thing that's always there now. I've gotten used to it and it's fine now #so it's not something I feel I need to mention)

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nonuggetshere · 3 months

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GOD I HAD AN IDEA AS I WAS FALLING ASLEEP TODAY

About FaaF naturally

A sad one, TW fir near child death and harm

Involves Xero's attempt at an assassination, or it could be literally just any guard controlled by the Radiance

PK and WL need to talk about something private, and WL looks at the tiny vessel tagging along by her wyrm's side

"Should it be here?"

"It wouldn't understand anything anyway."

"Still, it's...a little..."

He sighs lightly, "Yeah, I get where you're coming from... Vessel, come here."

He kneels down and orders them to sit by the door and wait for them while they talk, says he'll come pick them up once they're done and not to move, then the two go to talk on the balcony and close the door behind them

At some point, Xero/the guard bursts in and attacks PK in the middle of the conversation, managing to take them by surprise and so gets one good swing in before PK darts away and retaliates, pinning them down with soul blades, though he has to keep his wife from killing them on the spot - he doesn't want to be so hasty, knowing they're infected and not themself. He pulls out the sword from his chest and that's when they realise, it's covered in void...

Child harm/near death TW beyond this point

After a moment of shock White Lady, who's closest to the doors, runs out and all her husband can hear is a horrified, heartbroken scream. He feels nauseous, his stomach twisting into knots and feeling like his heart is in his throat as he runs out after her. He sees her in tears, cradling a tiny bundle soaked in void. There's- there's so much void. It covers the floor where he left their child vessel and soaks through his lady's shawl and clothes as she cradles them in her arms.

For a moment he's paralysed, before he just snaps. He flies back onto the balcony, screaming at the possessed guard that he'll kill her, he'll make her pay for this, and he slays them in his rage (something he'll regret and feel ashamed of later), still hitting and screaming at Her well after the possessed person is dead and she can't hear him anymore.

He collapses, panting, near tears, and just gets himself up and stumbles out the door and towards the two, he wants to see how bad it is for himself.

Flower survives, but just barely. They had multiple stab wounds and lost their left arm, if not for their parents immediately healing them they'd be dead. They're barely older than 5, still so very little and defenceless, PK is horrified at how could anyone hurt a baby this young and helpless (hypocrite), even if they're not alive.

They're still on bed rest because that was so much damage and their mother doesn't leave their side and their father only leaves when necessary. They still don't realise Flower's alive and they know they shouldn't be so attached but it still feels like their baby and they can't just leave them. WL spends the entire day by their side, gently stroking their hair and horns with her now permanently void stained hands and softly coos and sings to them

Of course, they quickly realise they ARE alive because no way in hell a toddler is getting this hurt and NOT crying and screaming the second they wake up <3

Which just makes this situation so much worse

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #mentions of child harm and near death in tags too btw #so dont read further if its something youre sensitive to or cant handle rn #i like to write him as more sympathetic in faaf but i cant state enough what a gigantic hypocrite he is #pk: How can you hurt a child?! they're FIVE!#child harm cw #radi: ...dude.#dont make your kid a child soldier but also you cant 'all fair's in war' your way out of stabbing a toddler radi #unrelated tangent but they both suck and god i need to focus some more on FaaF Radi. Ik this AU at times feels like sympathetic PK and evil #villain Radi AU but it's really not. They're both morally grey and while Radi is a bit more. questionable and less sympathetic imo. doesnt #mean shes completely evil. they're both meant to be morally grey and both did equally horrible irredeemable shit that they come to regret #and wish to fix. ik it doesnt come off this way at times because i have my things i prefer to write at times and this AU was always a #relationship dynamic exploration between Flower and all different characters. but neither PK nor WL are by no means forgiven. Most of their #kids range from ''i literally dont care about you you are not my parents dont contact me again'' to ''i hate your guts''#with sometimes an added flavour of ''And I WILL murder your ass if I see you again'' for some of them #(Razor my beutiful wife with unchecked anger issues <3)#sorry if the tags are incomprehensible it is 5 am and i instantly forget anything i write the second i cant read it fully #once i finish writing a tag and it collapses the contents of it instantly leave my short term memory. im not being dramatic btw the amount #of times i have to back out from editing tags to read them back bc i forgot what i wrote is annoying

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