#there defiantly ppl who need it more than me

[goatpaste]

I know a sorta made a small post along these lines the other day, but something a lil more official of!!

im kinda broke rn, between the recent stuff with losing my car and having to get a new one and work literally scheduling me 13 hrs a week. Im slowly losing money and it got really bad this month after paying my bills and everything and realizing I had just 300 bucks in my bank account.

My current job hasn't been working with me to give me the hours i need to make a living wage and iv been trying to get a new job for months with no success and it's looking like i could really use a lil extra support via online commission work rn until I can land a more solid paying job. I really hate to sound like a desperate wet cardboard box beast but I still need to insure my new car and cant afford it as i stand right now.

I wont ask for donations, I think im going to be fine, but a lil money to help keep my head above the water would be great so im just gonna promo my commission work. To anyone who can commission me in some way or another would be awesome! I appreciate any support I can get rn even just a reblog

My Commission Info

My Kofi

My Etsy

My Toyhouse

#again sorry for sounding like im crying wolf with 200 in my account but i havent bought groceries this month #or my car insurance #im waiting for my next paycheck #so i kinda know its about to get sucked down the drain #i still havent bought christmas gifts for my brother and the cousins which i would really like to be able to if i could #again im not gonna die #so im not asking for donations #i will be fine #im just a lil money stressed and if i could branch out to try and get some commission work rn that would be a huge help #again im not asking for donations #there defiantly ppl who need it more than me #but if you were everythinkin to commission me and have the funds rn #i wouldnt mind if you reached out #i know its the holidays and everyone is probably low on funds #i see the situation as it is rn #but if i could just make an extra hundred or two i think it put my mind at ease a lil more for when its time to pay all my bills again

[moefling]

ok i’m gonna talk about the RWRB Movie...

SPOILER: i’m gonna be negative and i’m not planning on watching the movie (i guess that means ppl are gonna block me??? idk why ppl are just mass blocking because of this but whatever) (edit: per a suggestion I swapped the tag on this post so it isn't tagged under "rwrb movie")

so i’m gonna start by saying that i’ve watched the trailer a few times and honestly i love the vibes, it makes me smile ever time.

-the kiss is great

-the butt slap is everything

-Henry’s facial expressions *chefs kiss*

-the visible chain around Alex neck. yes

i’m also gonna say that its great that people ARE going to see the movie, we need more queer movies and the only way for that to happen is if ppl watch the ones that are being made now.

so the bad.

honestly i could deal with a lot of the little things.  like they make my eye twitch a little but i do actually understand that you can’t 100% remake a book into a movie.

 BUT

it’s June that i can’t forgive.

if i’m wrong and she is in the movie than amazing and i redact everything but it doesn’t seem to be that way.

removing June makes me SO angry.  its like removing Alice from Twilight or Sam from Lord of the Rings.  if Main Characters are just the romantic leads (Alex and Henry) than June defiantly falls into secondary tier - all the Super Six kinda do (Bea would be the most removable for me but is is also necessary for Henry’s development as much as June is for Alex.

June balances Alex out.  the book even specifically states WHY all of the White House Trio are needed (page 28: “Alex pushes them. June steadies them. Nora keeps them honest.”) She keeps him sane and she put her life on hold to watch out for Alex, and Alex knows this!

the idea of Alex being an only child is terrifying.  he is already kinda selfish (i say that lovingly) and “a little shit” without growing up with an older sibling to shut him up he would be a monster (and Nora doesn’t count because first they don’t actually meet until Ellen is running with Mike as VP and second Nora’s personality is to “go with the flow” to really steady Alex)

June also has some important moments that happen in the book! like it doesn’t really work to have Nora be fake dating Henry for the like 2 days that that happens and no June means no Magazine moment (i know that isn’t really directly in the book but its a fav for everyone).  no June also really changes the tone of the Lake House....

ANWAY, moving away from June here is some other things that i don’t like (because its my rant and i want to, feel free to change my mind)

- the height difference (i did love the lifts comment in the trailer but idk if they’ll be able to keep that up in a way that makes since - that means that if they are every barefoot Alex would have to be shorter *cough* like swimming)

-the actor for Alex is to old.  i know ppl are really split about this but the actor feels put together and like an adult to me (vs. book Alex feels very young - or he honestly acts his age of 21/22).  i think the polo match scene says a lot for me in the postures of the 2 actors, Henry is ok (tho honestly i think he wouldn’t have the loose posture once he rejoined ppl but its cute so pass) but Alex is to stiff, he should be almost bouncing as he walks.

-WFT is Ellen’s accent in the trailer???

-i heard a rumor that Raf and Liam are merged and redone.  Gross and big no.

-King instead of Queen.  i understand why this was done but the tone changes a lot in my head of abusive Grandpa vs. Grandma

-Zahra.  don’t like, the vibe is off with the actress... can’t explain why except the smile in the photos and the bow in the trailer

 -i feel like some of the scenes feel still (this is 100% my opinion and i could be reading this VERY wrong so ignore this if you interpret it differently)

i really wanted to like the movie but realistically i probably wouldn’t watch the movie anyway because i have issues with that so..... i guess it doesn’t matter.

i hope ppl who watch it enjoy it and please separate tags of movie vs book, thanks

#rwrb #RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE #rwrb book #red white and royal blue book #rant #rwrb movie negativity #first prince #books to movies #red white and royal blue

[craycraybluejay]

Confession: I don't understand people's regret stories ab tryna get with celebrities and actually managing to do so. I'd kill for a shot at being fucked like a whore in the back of a tourbus 🤷‍♂️ even when I was under the age line I thought ab it a lot but never had the money or friends to go to concerts and whatnot. Obv I don't go around telling ppl that if they got hurt or whatnot but idk I'm jealous of a lot of the things people are real hurt over.

Other examples include; having loving and healthy parents who die, being friends w/ people who have messed up secrets, finding a sugar daddy/mommy who only asks for feet pics or outings, not having ppl act insanely possessive over ur body the moment u might make a decision u'll regret (y do people want to be looked down on and even sometimes dehumanized like that I will never understand), having the opportunity to earn money from an early age (child labor blah blah personally I think older teens should be paid the same wage as others and I don't think u need to be 18 to flip burgers or help someone schedule or organize files but that's just my unpopular opinion)..

I guess diff lives rly do make diff worldviews and needs but some stuff is just so wild to me when it's so normal to other people. I'm filled with so much fucking envy over what could've been. I want to shake every single one of them and tell them deadpan that they are so fucking lucky. I'm not the type of person who goes around comparing traumas so I'm not going to ever do that to someone. But idk I'm just so jealous so often and it's like a back-of-my-mind sort of thing that only comes to the surface occasionally. I'll be chilling with someone and then it slaps me in the face how big our wealth gap is. How many more opportunities they have. How deeply and violently I envy them for the things that somewhat messed them up but would have saved me. Envy envy envy. And even I envy some portions of past and future for their zest, for my little snippets of luck. I envy when I had a fucking stranglehold over that friendship. I envy when I ran my silly little crime ring and felt on top of the world-- I was so little and still defiantly full of life and that life I ENVY so much. The future if it exists holds prestige and hedonism-- if I can pull some bullshit luck out of my ass and cash in favours smart-- play the game, play the game, play the game. I envy that future which may never come. I envy the present where people live lavishly off exploiting other people like me-- where others have love and money and opportunity and I have nothing. I am filled with both envy and powerful vitriol for those above. Envy for their luck coming out on top and pure hatred for their full exploitation of their position and apathy to other people who could use their help. Envy is uglier, less pure than anger. Anger evokes change and growth-- calls you to action-- which can be good. Envy simply churns in your gut urging you to climb on others like they did you-- and if you can't, pull them down in the trenches with you just so that they hurt the way you hurt-- so they lose everything. Because if you can't have it, why should they? What makes Them more deserving of it than You? If I am not given life I will take it by the throat and force it to fucking kneel-- and if even then it only gives and gives to others I will crush it beneath my heel. I don't take these things lightly. And though it may be unsightly.. I will do fucking anything to make you feel the way I feel.

#ranty venty rant #vent post #waxing poetic #poetic #venting #vent #personal vent #personal #envy #jealousy #anger #spite #unpopular opinion #tw everything #you are coming down with me #hand in unlovable hand #tw repeating words #tw repetition

[insideoutsticky]

Hi! I would like a Hypnosis Mic match-up please! (And if you can make more than 1 I would like an Obey me! match-up too please!)

My name is Daisy Lafleur ( I'm 18, 4'11, she/her, I'm skinny I was the kid and still is the one that you can use 2 fingers to make the whole way around my wrist, I get sick really easy, overall I'm really smol

I have long blond natural hairs but I dye them a pastel pink and wear them as 2 ponytails, I love philosophy, theater and reading. My fashion style is Lolita I mostly dress like @miladeblois on tiktok she is my favorite. I also dislike physical activities since I'm not strong enough but I REALLY LOVE observing and studying butterflies I want to become a lepidopterist.

Personality: INFJ

I'm pretty shy irl, very doting, I have a really big soft spot for kids (I want to be a mom), I'm not scared of asking for help when I need it (I just don't ask anyone that isn't really close to me), my love language is physical touch

What I find attractive and my ideal date: Someone who is confident but not the annoying kind like they love themselves and stand up for themselves but they don't see themselves superior to others and help others to feel better about themselves without making it about them, long hairs (I love braiding hairs), but other than that I don't really have physical preference as long that they don't look dead or their skin is all dry, someone who knows how to comfort me and take time to understand how to and help me feel better it can be simple as understanding my feelings that help me feel better, the perfect date would be cat Cafe and than star gazing while blasting music

The tip of my noise is always a bit red even when I don't put any makeup and my skin is a bit pale, I'm very sensitive to loud noise I have a fear of fireworks

People think I'm like a child because of how small I am and how I dress but I'm still an adult with my responsibilities and I take them seriously I'm not some 100% pure being even though I don't understand most of THESE jokes

I'm also really shy and it's annoying when people think I'm doing it for attention when it's just how I am, theater help me with my anxiety because I like it so much

I have 4 older brothers that can be a bit much overprotective but they are still my brothers and I love them!

I always bring a cat plushie with me because my bf put his parfum on it and it helps me calm down in social events and that's all!

Thank you! I hope you have a good day 😊💕

(I would love to read one of your fanfic or headcanons one day, I do not have any request but the day its a fem!reader I will be there!)

Omg thanks ur so nice 😊 

I am also into Lolita style, specifically ouji and boystyle! 

For hypmic I think you’d be cute with gentaro! you guys could talk about books and he’d listen to you talk about your interests! He’d definitely admire your style as well, and your cat plush. And he’d probably be ok with you braiding his hair. He will take care of you good I think. And he’d defend you when ppl be mean. Maybe for obey me I think you would make a cute couple with Simeon. Cuz idk u kinda  give me angelic vibes. I think you seem like you would be better with a more introverted character, especially since you said you are clingy. I defiantly think you guys seem like opposites but deep down similar if that makes sense ♡ॢ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Thanks for supporting, I hope you like it! Stay tuned cuz I have a lot of works I working on 💕💕💕

#hypmic x reader #hypmic #obey me x reader #obey me

[maskboo]

i hate getting upset over art Wtf

#my post #vent / #here we go venting in the tags so i dont clog u guys #ANYWAY i compare myself to cartoonist and realistic drawings and most defiantly my peers #i get uoset so easily #like i know i get my fair amount of notes its fine #but like i always compare myself to mutuals friends whatever #i dont want toa sound like a dick but i need validation a lot and seeing ppl who havent been in the fandom that long get lots if notes #it makes me Feel shitty #but im also shitty for Saying that? #like people perfer others art over mine all the tome #my art ist anything special #im not wither and i shouldnt be like this and just BE HAPPY #but i look at notes on my side blog and someone gets SO MICH more notes than me and they only were there like once #im gonna Die #time to kill my elf

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[thevikingsheaux]

Jól (aka Yule)

Part 4

Masterlist

A/N: I’m sorry but I can’t read anyone else’s work while I write Jól because I’m trying to keep my writing as original as possible and I don’t wanna even subliminally get ideas from other ppl’s fics. But just know I SUPPORT U and U ARE DOING AMAZING and I will catch up on your stuff after Jól is done! Please continue to tag me though! Also, sorry this chapter is a bit long! Most media not mine - gifs and pictures are found from Google, but I did make the last Hvitserk gif myself. 

Warning: mild animal sacrifice, tiny bit NSFW

Pairing: Hvitserk x reader

Laid out on Dagmar’s bed was your dress, the white mute swan feathers as perfect as when you had first stitched them on. You had a particular affinity for swans, hence the swan feathers with which your dress was adorned. When you had put it on a few weeks ago but had been interrupted by Ivar, a strange feeling had overcome you. At the time you had brushed it off as anxiety, but now, when you put it on again you had the same strange feeling. It was as if anywhere the feathers were on the dress, your skin tingled and warmed.

Dagmar had allowed you to keep the dress there since her room was much closer to the square that the altar was in than your home. She followed you and Torvi to her room so she could help you get ready, too. They helped you out of the bloody dress and draped it over the chair, careful not to let it drag on the ground. It was now sacred and would be burned along with the altar and sacrifices when Yule concluded in three weeks time.

Dagmar brought you a pail of warm water and began to rinse the goat’s blood from your hair as you sat on the bed. You were exhausted from the intensity of the ritual you had just performed. You stood to pull your dress on and then allowed Torvi to rebraid your hair. You thought you would have to wear your fur coat with the dress since it was so cold out, but the rush of the sacrifice and the feathers on your dress seemed to stir an inexplicable warmth in you that allowed you to go without it.

(The braids Torvi pulled your hair into.)

By the time you were redressed and cleaned up, most of the Vikings had moved their celebrations into the Great Hall. They were ready to feast and drink all night long. You smiled as the crowd parted to allow you up to where Aslaug sat on her throne. Just a couple short weeks ago you were a simple farmer and leather worker who was the daughter of a great warrior and sister of Björn Ironside. With the spotlight on them, you were often overlooked. Now, everything was different. Aslaug’s interest in you had made you as well known throughout Kattegat as your father and brother were. A chair was waiting for you near the head of the massive table set with a huge feast. There were fruits and vegetables of every kind, an enormous boar, lamb, two seals, and even a reindeer.

As you took your seat, Aslaug rose and Ivar roared, “QUIET! My mother wishes to speak!” She looked at Ivar and smiled before turning to face the crowd.

“Welcome all,” Aslaug began, “please, eat and drink your fill! Tonight we celebrate the rebirth of the Sun, and we must all ask Thor to protect her as she grows and to protect us from the spirits that roam Midgard during the darkness of winter.” At this, everyone voiced their agreement and then she continued. “As everyone saw earlier, Y/N performed the sacrifice for us tonight,” she said while looking at you. “The gods have made it known to me that she is very special. You will all treat her with the same respect you give my sons.” Someone in the back of the Hall yelled, “SKAL!” and everyone else echoed the toast, making you smile widely.

After the feast began, you slipped out of the Great Hall to fetch the Sword of Kings. Normally, a slave would do something as menial as fetching something, but since the sword was so revered, only you and Aslaug knew where it was kept to prevent it from being stolen. The day Aslaug had told you that you would perform the sacrifice she had also shown you where it was kept, and said that the gods had told her to do so.

The Sword would be put on display over the throne for the duration of Yule and guarded 24 hours a day by two sentries that would rotate with another two sentries. It was meant to offer further protection to the Sun goddess through her fragile development during Yule.

On your way to get it you paused and turned to look behind you because you had the suspicion you were being followed. Unexpectedly, Hvitserk’s rough, warm hands ran across the back of your neck. He surprised you from behind and whispered into your neck as his hands moved to trace the metal link he had made for your dress. “I finally see why you needed this.” His warm breath on your neck combined with the crisp winter air made you shiver. One of his hands moved along the side of your body, following the curve of your waist before snaking across your supple hips as he pressed his body against your back. You closed your eyes with pleasure and let out a breathy sigh.

Again, Floki interrupted you. “Y/N,” he called from a dark alley, making you jump. Hvitserk was unflinching and you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him in waves. He bit your neck possessively before stalking away.

“You know he is nothing but trouble, Y/N,” Floki warned as he stared in the direction that Hvitserk had disappeared. When he turned back to you he had a stern look in his eyes and his lips pressed firmly together. You could tell that he was fighting the urge to follow Hvitserk and punch him. It was no secret that Floki preferred Ivar over his brothers. The way they taunted Ivar had always bothered him, and now Hvitserk threatened to take you for his own.

“Floki, I am an adult, I can handle myself. You are not my father,” you said defiantly. His eyes flared with a mix of anger and hurt, making you regret the acid in your tone. “Fine, do what you like,” he called out bitterly over his shoulder as he stormed off into the dark forest, heading for his cabin.

After being left alone, you continued on to the place the Sword was hidden and reached it without interruption. Just outside Kattegat, there was a medium-sized rock situated discreetly in the craggy terrain that disguised a decent sized hole in the earth that was lined with cloth and leather to protect the Sword from the elements. After you retrieved it, you hurried back into the Hall and made your way to Aslaug’s throne. She stood and got everyone’s attention before lifting the Sword high above her head. “Behold the Sword of Kings! May it aid the Sun goddess and defend her this Yule! May it safeguard our own homes and children! And finally, may it call the spirit of Ragnar down from Valhalla, to watch over his family and his people!” At those words, the entire Hall erupted with cheers and a celebratory song picked up in the background.

Some hours later, you woke up with your head on the table of the Great Hall, a very faint light from the sun starting to filter in, and Hvitserk peering down at you. He was poking you and asked if you needed him to go feed your animals. Still disoriented by being woken up from a deep sleep and a bit hungover, you nodded yes and he headed for the doors.

You were still wearing your swan feather dress from the night before so you stumbled to Dagmar’s room and changed into something more casual. You washed your face and rebraided your hair and headed to the kitchen.

(The dress you changed into.)

“Good morning, sunshine,” Dagmar greeted you. “Want breakfast?” You replied, “Yes, of course. Somehow I’m starving!”

After you ate, you went back into the Hall and found Aslaug sitting and sipping some mead. You sat down and she looked up at you thoughtfully.

“I saw my son with you on the altar yesterday, Y/N,” Aslaug said. Since the fervor that had overcome you during the sacrifice was gone, you blushed a bright red. Aslaug continued, “Don’t be embarrassed, who could have resisted you? The power you wield was very obvious during that ritual, much more than it usually is. Any man, or woman for that matter, who says they didn’t want to fuck you then and there has to be lying.” Confused, you wondered aloud, “What power?”

Aslaug smiled a little and asked you if you remembered that her mother is Brynhildr the famous Valkyrie and shieldmaiden and her father is Sigurd who slew the dragon Fafnir. Then she reminded you, “I am also the wife of Ragnar, the son of Odin.”

At the mention of Ragnar’s name you thought you detected a hint of sadness flash across her eyes, but it was gone in an instant. Ragnar had left her, his sons, and all of Kattegat for gods knows where years ago. Aslaug had seen his death in a vision, so everyone knew that he would never return.

“I am also a Völva, so you know that I can see what the gods reveal to me in dreams and visions. I can see the power you have, even though it is buried deep within you,” she asserted.

“No, Queen Aslaug, you must be wrong,” you said, despite your growing feeling that she was correct. Her expression became stormy at your denial. “I am certain that I am not wrong about this, Y/N,” she insisted, “I feel it in my bones.”

After thinking back on your life, you were sure she was right. You had always been different from the other children growing up, and now from the other women in Kattegat. You had never really connected with anyone fully, not even Torvi, your best friend. As a child, you loved to swim more than play with the other children. Your mother could barely keep you out of the river. Floki adored this about you because it meant that you loved to get on his boats and stay with him for days at a time. You loved to crawl up on the helm of his boats, stretch out your arms, and feel the wind on your face. It always felt like you were free, flying over the water. Talking and playing with the other kids never interested you as much as that feeling.

People had always acted a little different around you, but you could never figure out exactly why. You had grown up thinking you were just weird, but Aslaug’s words changed your perspective. Maybe this power she spoke of meant you had a different energy, a different aura, that made some people feel indescribably odd when around you.

Aslaug shook you from your memories when she spoke again to bring up the subject of the traditional tournament that occurred during the first few days of Yule following the winter solstice. “I want you to preside over it,” she stated firmly. “The gods have made it known that you will play a very important role this Yule. I want you to consider participating in the fights and give me your decision by tonight.” Dazed, you left the Great Hall and headed for the cliff overlooking the fjord. You needed to breathe.

When you arrived at the fjord, you found a rock to rest on and sat wrapped in the fur coat you made. The wind on the cliff was bitterly cold, and little snowflakes gusted around you. The cold, crisp air offered your mind a clarity that it could not find within the city.

After contemplating the idea for a while, you decided that for the first time in your life you would participate. Aslaug’s revelation that you wielded considerable power and insistence that you oversee the fights, empowered you to join the fighting this year. As you grew up, your parents trained you to fight but forced you to keep your prowess hidden. They forbid you from ever sparring with anyone in all of Kattegat and denied your wishes to raid with the other shieldmaidens. Your mother and father knew that you were the most formidable fighter in all of Scandinavia and that too much attention and fame would only bring trouble and they wanted to protect their daughter.

You returned to Aslaug and told her that you would not only preside over the tournament but fight in it too, which pleased her greatly. After that, you made the trek home and started a fire as soon as you got home. As you undressed, you thought about the sacrifice that would take place tomorrow morning before the sun rose, which would allow the tournament to begin. Another goat had to be sacrificed to ask the gods to give strength and luck to the fighters in the tournament. Aslaug would be the one to do it though, not you.

---

The goat was led up to the altar and stopped in front of Aslaug. After she slit the goat’s throat, the blood was collected in several bowls, ready to be used as body paint for the fighters. The bowls of blood were taken to the platform overlooking the fighting ring that had been set up the night before. While all of this went on, you were putting your armor on in the small shack that the fighters used to get ready.

(This is what I imagine the ring looks like minus the stone walls to the right of the picture and plus a big crowd around the ring. Also, imagine that there is a light coating of snow on everything.)

You surprised everyone, especially Hvitserk, by emerging from the shack and stepping up on the platform that overlooked the fighting ring and the crowd gathered around it, dressed in your mother’s old leather armor. It was the most beautiful piece of armor you had ever laid eyes on and you had always wondered where she had gotten it from. Though it was several years old, it was in flawless condition and your mother didn’t even try to maintain it. It was like the armor itself was laced with a powerful magic. It had intricate patterns in the leather and studs throughout the design. It also had chainmail shoulders, allowing you more freedom of movement in a fight. Your hair was skillfully braided by Torvi and decorated with leather braids you had made from leftover strips you had from making other leather wares and a circlet that your braids twisted around.

As your eyes surveyed the crowd of Vikings, you wished that Björn was there. You yearned to spar with him in the fighting pit. You knew he was likely having grand adventures, but you still wished he was there to celebrate Yule with you. If only he could see you now. Before he had even met your mother, your father had had Björn by another woman who died during his birth, so Björn had always felt a little out of place in your house and in Kattegat. He was respected as a great warrior but had few real friends. He had set out with his only close friend, Torstein, and a horde of Vikings that followed him to distant lands because they too wanted adventure and treasure from endless raids. You drove these thoughts from your head as you registered that all eyes were on you. Before sitting next to Aslaug, you raised your arms, signaling for the fighting to begin.

(This music is what I imagine is playing throughout parts of the tournament, but especially during Y/N’s fights. Listen while you read the fight scene.)

After your signal, growls ripped across the square, then chants and music picked up and men began to fight each other and then the shieldmaidens fought after the first few rounds of men. The sparring was intense, all of them driven mad by adrenaline and the music and chants from those who weren’t fighting.

Once you tired of just watching, you jumped down from the platform and made your way to the fighting ring. The first three men were easy for you to defeat. They were large and slow, so you could nimbly move around them. The next two were quicker, but not as strong. The sixth was both strong and quick, proving a decent match. Your fight with him lasted much longer than with the others, but you eventually ended up besting him. Your victories had you giddy and you screamed, “WHO IS NEXT?!” while holding your arms up, eyes wild. Ubbe stepped out of the crowd with a dark grin and started on the offensive immediately. Ubbe had been trained by his father, Ragnar, making him the best warrior you had faced thus far.

You struggled against Ubbe’s onslaught, catching many blows with your shield, and dodging others completely. He was fighting like a rabid dog, determined to defeat you. Every time he struck, he let out a roar. This was the first challenging fight you had ever had, not including those with your parents or brother. He forced you back, to the edge of the ring, but you managed to duck underneath his arm and land a blow, knocking him off balance. You took that opportunity to sweep his feet out from under him, making him land square on his back as you let out a fierce cry. You put your boot on his chest and poked the tip of your sword under his chin. He smiled and acknowledged your skills, “I have to say I am impressed, Y/N.”

As you let Ubbe up, Hvitserk was covering his face in some of the goat’s blood, hoping Thor would grant him strength in this fight. He had watched you defeat six men plus Ubbe before he decided he wanted to try. Seeing you fight so hard actually turned him on quite a bit. He was completely amazed. No one had any idea that you were this talented.

He stepped into the ring and you turned to face him, smirking as you saw him. “So you want a taste, Hvitserk?” you called out. “Yes, I want to taste you,” he growled, low enough that only you could hear. You fought back a smile before suddenly lunging forward, taking him off guard.

Hvitserk barely sidestepped your swing and ducked as you brought it speeding back towards his head. He popped back up and engaged you with his axe, as worthy a fighter as his brother, though not as fervent. You both went back and forth, relatively evenly matched. After a few minutes, you could tell Hvitserk was starting to tire but you were barely out of breath, even after fighting seven people.

You began to land heavy blows on his shield more frequently until you finally struck it from his hands and got your sword to his neck before he could raise his axe. He looked up at you, chest heaving from the effort of the fight. He looked as if he wanted to fuck you right there, in the middle of the ring with the crowd watching.

“You are the best fighter I have ever faced in single combat,” he panted, “better even than all of my brothers. Better than even your half-brother, Björn Ironside. You are more fierce than a berserker, and maybe the best warrior in all of Scandinavia.” His eyes burned with a lustful fire.

A satisfied smile broke across your face because of his comment and it grew wider as the crowd swarmed you and lifted you up over their heads, hailing you the victor of the tournament. They carried you into the Great Hall where another feast was laid out and stood you on an empty spot on top of the great table. You turned in a circle to look at everyone who filled the Hall as they began to cheer for you. After a moment you got down and took your place near the head of the table.

---

Once most of the Vikings had passed out drunk, you slipped out and made your way home with a torch. As you hiked there, you didn’t notice Hvitserk following you. Little did you know, he had been watching you and was worried that you were going off alone. When you made it home safe, Hvitserk returned to the Great Hall.

You slept soundly that night and awoke when you heard the massive horn blowing in Kattegat. You realized that ships must be sailing up the fjord, headed for Kattegat. You got ready quickly and after feeding your animals, you rushed down to the docks to see who had arrived. There were already several people gathered there, including Aslaug and all her sons.

A man you would always recognize no matter how much he changed stepped off the boat with a huff. “Björn!!!” you exclaimed. You ran to him, jumping into his arms. “How are you here?! Oh, how I have missed you, brother!!” Björn laughed as he picked you up and spun you around. “Y/N! I hope I’m not too late for the final Yule bonfire!”

To be continued...

Tags: @laketaj24 @tephi101 @grungyblonde @voodoodollgirl @tierneygonzalez @captstefanbrandt @lisinfleur @two-unbeatable-beaters @moondustmemories

Please please let me know if I accidentally left you out of the tags!! I promise it was not on purpose!

Fun fact: Y’all may have already known this, but Aslaug basically means wife of god. So, it is interesting that she married Ragnar and bore him four children. Her name seems to imply that Ragnar was a god, or at least he truly was the son of Odin. 

Another A/N: Hvit and Y/N will do it soon, I promise. ;) Just wrote their first sex scene and you guys are gonna die

#hvitserk #hvitserk x reader #ubbe lothbrok #ubbe #vikings #vikings fandom #aslaug #bjorn ironside

[bigskydreaming]

So there’s a post going around that’s popped up on my dash a lot lately, about the secret to fandom being love what you love and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.

I.....look, its not really a shock to anyone that I Couldn’t Disagree More Strongly, right? LOL.

The problem I have with posts like that is they don’t make a distinction between “like what you like and don’t worry about if other people agree b/c everybody likes different things and there’s never going to be something that pleases everybody, so don’t try and base your fandom opinions/ships around pleasing everyone” 

and

“like what you like and don’t worry about if other people agree b/c people are racist and sexist and homophobic and there’s nothing you can do about it so don’t devote your fandom experience/time/energy to having a problem if the reasons people are hating on your favorite characters, stories, opinions are rooted in racism, sexism, homophobia and other shit.”

Like, these are two ENTIRELY different things, and the first is valid and fine and I agree completely but the second is HELL FUCKING NO. And the problem is when you spread around fandom positivity posts that put no effort or awareness into acknowledging that these are two entirely different phenomenon, effectively all you do is give implicit support to the people who deliberately REFUSE to acknowledge a difference and thus point to fandom positivity posts as fodder for why someone’s being Difficult for pushing back against bigoted bullshit.

Fandom isn’t a fun, shiny happy place and it isn’t MEANT to be, because all fandom is....is another place/way in which humans congregate around a certain shared interest or focus. That’s it. That’s all fandom inherently is, which means when you push back against people ruining it by ‘worrying about what other ppl are doing in it aka being shitty bigots’ on the grounds that they’re infecting it with like....reality? idek. But you’re simply doing the exact same thing humanity does in EVERY SINGLE SPACE it carves out for people to congregate for whatever reason or purpose......and that thing is the group or groups who hold a majority in that space speaking over or shutting down anyone who has something to say that the majority do not want to hear for whatever reason.

People turn to fandom for escapism a lot of the time. I get that. Everyone needs escapism from reality. Everyone DESERVES a place to go to get away from the cares of reality and enjoy themselves.

But here’s the problem: there’s a lot of things in life that EVERYONE deserves, but only some people actually get.

And while I fundamentally agree with the idea that everyone deserves a fun fandom experience and a place to escape to.....it becomes a problem if the only way you can maintain that fun fandom experience and escapist refuge is by shutting down other people when they say ‘hey, this place isn’t as fun for me and all the problems I came here to escape from are still here thanks to these people.’

Because once you do that, you’re essentially no longer saying that you think everyone deserves a fun fandom experience or escape from reality. You’re saying you deserve it MORE than those other people.

Don’t get me wrong, I think we all need to figure out a balance for ourselves, and prioritize what’s best for our own mental health and emotional well being. I’m not telling people to develop martyr complexes or bullshit like that. We have to take care of ourselves before we take care of other people. That’s a thing. It’s true. We don’t do anyone any favors by neglecting what we need to get through the day. It’s OKAY to be selfish sometimes. It’s just not okay to be selfish all the time, or to say what you’re doing to put yourself first has no impact on anyone else.

Like, its literally just about being aware of reality?

I’m just saying, there’s a difference between focusing yourself on a corner of fandom that’s solely about the things you like and not worrying about what’s going on elsewhere because its what you need to do FOR YOU, because there’s things in your life you need escape from, because in this place you retreat to in order to replenish your spirit, you don’t have the spoons to spend on anything but that, so you have the strength to go about your day....

and between telling people to just like what they like and not worry what anyone else is doing or saying even when they pop up to give you shit for what you like, no, just blacklist things and block people and continue liking what you like, that’s the secret to a good fandom experience.

And that’s where I go like, ummm....no. Again, mental health and well being is a priority. Absolutely people should blacklist and block people and just look for positivity with like-minded individuals if that’s what they need to get something enjoyable out of a fandom experience.

But my problem specifically lies with the flip side of that, the implication that fans are doing something wrong by yes, worrying about what other people are doing and how this impacts them and their fandom experiences, and responding to and reacting to and calling attention to the fact that shitty people are being shitty in fandom, just as they are elsewhere in realms of human interaction.

Because that’s when you get into telling people with less power to suck it up and settle for the fact that they have less power, and that the people with more power will always be shitty so the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to ignore that.

That’s not how society is supposed to work, just because the people with the most power in society have spent generations just trying to convince everyone else that this is how society is supposed to work.

Power, voice, visibility, are not excuses to be shitty. The inability of people to effectively push back against you being shitty, is not an excuse to be shitty. This is how its always been, is not an excuse to be shitty.

And we know this. We ALL know and understand this. As a society, we have NO problem using collectively held opinions to push back against things we all agree are shitty, and no, I’m not talking about laws even, so much as....shame, the way we express opinions to each other and about certain things, the way we interact with each other and acknowledge what are and aren’t acceptable social behaviors.

Like, we shame people for committing certain awful crimes. We all do this. We say murdering innocent people is bad, and cast shame at people who do it. We teach kids (supposedly, hah) that taking stuff that doesn’t belong to you just because you want it isn’t acceptable. We all, as a society, shape what is or isn’t considered behavior we’re willing to put up with from each other in an endless variety of ways.

And guess what? Like all tools, the tools with which we do this do at times end up used in negative ways as well as positive. To harm instead of help. Absolutely there’s a LONG history of people in power hijacking the tools with which society determines what is and isn’t acceptable behavior and using it to advance their specific agenda, encouraging people to turn on each other or specific groups and express that certain acts or behaviors or entire identities are shameful, not because they actually are but because it serves the purposes of those in power to convince people that they are.

But a tool being used wrongly in the wrong hands does not like.....magically negate the validity of that tool or its ability to be used positively, and that’s where online culture, and fandom specifically, so often has me going UMM WHUH?

We’ve got people out here proudly and defiantly taking a stand against ‘being shamed’ for stuff like pedophilic works of art as though they’re the disenfranchised underdog, the powerless victim pushing back against the oppressor because SHAME IS BAD AND THUS ANYONE TRYING TO SHAME ME IS BAD or whatever.....as though we haven’t as a society collectively spent the last several decades saying umm yeah, pedophilia is shameful.

I’m not looking to get into the fiction vs reality argument here since I’ve had that one to death elsewhere, but also because its not the point. The point isn’t whether certain fans should feel ashamed or not for specific behaviors others express should be shameful.....the point is the way so many people in fandom seem to be in agreement that the very ACT of someone trying to shame someone else, or express disapproval of their behavior.....has somehow been come to be seen as a call to arms, as though that in and of itself is the issue, not whether or not there’s merit to either side’s position.

Like its all or nothing, regardless of context. 

So many people in fandom are happy to act like other groups in fandom (USUALLY made up of marginalized communities or people expressing ‘controversial’ and thus less commonly held opinions) - so many people act as though those groups expressing judgment over some other part of fandom’s behavior is in and of itself an UNACCEPTABLE attack, something that should never be condoned....instead of simply an example of what society has ALWAYS done to convey whether or not certain behaviors are acceptable.

Again, I’m not talking about the MANNER in which this judgment is expressed. I don’t give a single fuck about hearing arguments about how ‘antis’ are ‘just as bad’ as people who create fanworks they consider harmful or toxic and how they harass people, etc.

I’m not saying that never happens. I’m not saying that’s okay. I’m just saying....that is not the point I’m making here, not the point plenty of other people have made before me, and yet its one of the handful of expected and predictable responses that ALWAYS come up as though it (true or not) addresses the actual point. Which it does not.

The point is....take issue with the specific reasons someone pushes back against certain behaviors, fine. You don’t have to automatically agree they’re right. Take issue with the specific ways someone pushes back against certain behaviors, fine. You don’t have to condone them or say they’re justified.

But don’t dance around the issue as though you’re incapable of grasping that the point is its not somehow wrong or victimizing or oppressive for people to express that they think certain opinions and behaviors are shitty and bad.

The fact that shame has been used to oppress at times in the past does not mean that a bunch of people gathering together to express “We think this thing that you’re doing here is bad” is like....inherently oppressive ESPECIALLY THE FUCK WHEN THE BUNCH OF PEOPLE GATHERING TOGETHER HAVE LESS POWER THAN THOSE THEY’RE CALLING OUT BECAUSE OF THE TWO GROUPS, THEY’RE THE ONES WHO ARE ACTUALLY OPPRESSED.

Because when the only alternative to people expressing they feel certain behaviors in fandom spaces are harmful, oppressive, toxic, or in other ways impairing other peoples’ ability to have a fun fandom experience or use it for escapism.....is to tell those people to just ignore all that toxicity and focus on something positive, like.....call it what you will, but that’s not for their benefit, its for the benefit of those who like and are comfortable with the status quo.

NO SHITTY BEHAVIOR IN HUMAN HISTORY HAS EVER BEEN ‘FIXED’ BY TELLING ITS VICTIMS TO IGNORE IT.

The ONLY thing that has ever accomplished is to allow people who are capable of ignoring it without their lives in any way being impacted....to continue to go about what they were doing, without seeing or feeling there’s any reason for things to change, for efforts to be expended, for them to have to adjust their view of their surroundings or how they interact with their surroundings or other people within them.

And like, lol, but ‘having the choice whether or not to acknowledge something because it doesn’t innately affect your life either way’ is literally another way of describing privilege, so....I mean.....

ANYWAY.

#long post #yeah that one got away from me #LOOK I HAVE A LOT TO SAY SOMETIMES #all the time #whatever

[adhdvane]

i have so much angel halo fodder to farm but its magna fes so now is the best time to do it anyways i’m gunna try and 5* eahta today/tomorrow/at least before 25th is a reasonable goal. i need to max 11 more silver relics so 11 lazuline vessels for that + it takes 745990 exp (approximately ~25 lazuline vessels) to go from lv 1 to 150 (but I might be able to do it in less with journey drop boosts when using them since it seems to say that journey drop boosts and such only have no effect on the exp gain when putting weapons into the reserve and not the act of using the vessel on a item and vessels are also special considering unlike other exp upgrader items they can have a chance of grand success and its double jour drops right now so might as well) then other than that all i need are 6 more silver centrums, 4 of which i can get from just hosting the raid twice today (if i somehow get blessed i can get all six if i can get them to drop from the share chest both times) (otherwise getting 8 more heavenly horns from just joining raids to get 10 to trade for the other 2 centrums will be easy) (i have the two peacemaker stars for the two hosts) (i then proceeded to ramble too long so the rest is under the cut. ii keep writing shit out tat’s too long and then just deleting everything and never posing my rambling anymore but like fuck it at this point im keeping this)

and that’s it, i already did the awakening step on all 10 katanas yesterday which was the most painful step bc need 500 white dragon scales will always be the worst step in my opinions, which is why i spent yesterday getting to like 438 yesterday using the campaign exclusive quest (bc the drop rate for scales on that quest is surprisingly amazing considering the low ap cost even after you’ve done it 30 times) (but i ended up quitting 438 and then proceeded to buy the remaining 62 with cerulean stone bc i have a bunch still and tbh the only thing worth spending cerulean stones on are white dragon scales or shit like translucent silk, broken teacup, coverging rays, etc bc the drop rate for those is stupid, and i guess technically i’m going to need those 50 jumbo best bones when i get to the 5* part of death, but i still have more than enough stones if i wanted to buy all 50 of those drops and i’ll defiantly be getting even more after the roulette starts so i’m not even concerned, bc yeah i got the sunlight stone now for death but i’m still pretty damn far from deal w/death, though maybe not as far as i think if i just remember to host my go and primarch raids for a couple days, wow yeah actually im stupidly closer than i thought bc im only 12 celus fragments from all 30 i need, the only annoying issue in the last step is going to be taking the time to farm the 10 primeval horns bc sometimes they don’t drop when you join proto hl, i know its guaranteed from share i’m just always weary about hosting that raid since it is 18-man elixir limited and i can’t solo it, and have had a time in the past were i was only joined by people leaching and it sucks when only you and like 1 other person contribute. so i always feel better join one bc i can make a decent contribution (and even like sort of mvp race or usually more vice mvp race for like 2nd or 3rd) (okay one time i joined a proto baha hl raid that was between like 70~60% bc it was on earth and 8 ppl already, and upon joining discovered like most of them had jumped ship, and the log was dead and was like well fuck, but started raiding anyways, and trying to send back up requests anyways, ended up getting some momentum, painfully got it always through to 50% dark by my self (kind of annoyed i took my light grid with my spheric harp bc i thought it was going to be an instance were it would get to 50% super fast so the off element wouldn’t matter and not that everyone but host had retreated) and then like around ~45% another person finally joined and me and this one other person destroyed the rest of the boss in like a minute, that was one of like 4 or 5 times i’ve mvp’d proto baha hl upon joining. tbh i kinda wish i knew what the host was doing, like if they were sitting there watching, was afk, or had like left the raid page to do other things. like if they were just hoping someone would come in and beat it for them, or had sorta given up but didnt want to fully end the raid just incase, look okay i just felt fucking good thinking i helped out a lower rank player get through a hl raid that they were abandoned on by several other players who appeared to have either not being strong enough, or joined saw the damage and jumped ship bc it looked like it was going to fail. though if i remember correctly the time limit was pretty far gone so that’s probably also why no one was joining, i was just a dumb fuck who didn’t look at the time before i joined, then realized, and then just fucking felt bad and was like well fuck it lets see how far i can go by myself bc clearly everyone else is dead and i don’t have anything to lose and im not stoping anyone else from potentially saving this bc there’s still like 7 slots open that anyone can join at any time...) anyways the last thing i wanted to say was i remember i was like a little peeved when they announced everyone who finished chapter 4.5 in the demon slayer collab would get kengo for free bc FARMING FOR KENGO AROUND THE TIME IT CAME OUT HURT BC I HADN’T BEEN HL FOR VERY LONG SO IT TOOK A LOT OF EFFORT, esp like bc extra II class suck worse than row iv bc you have to make the ccw element change for every goddamn class. but i was glad they compensated us with materials and i was mostly just glad for the extra silver centrums and steel brick (even tho i just realized i have fucking 50 steel bricks where the fuck did those come from like i don’t remember having so many), but i remember thinking to myself like oh wow thank 40 samurai distinctions, thats so useful, wow, what am i going to do make another murakumo and unsigned kaneshige?? i think im good. guess those will sit there forever... and then a couple days ago when i started thinking about finishing eahta up since i literally finished farming the demon slayer event the day after the second half was unlocked (when u can just auto extreme+ with ur fire team u don’t have to do shit, i got all the items i wanted and after than even played to get the 200 battle trophy for the heck of it. i only wanted the tickets, ring, dama crystals, steel, summon unlock mats just ‘cause those spellbooks, skill jewels, the fire urns bc i know they’re farmable but they’re annoying and i am low on fire urns, and then i was like i guess the summon since it’s a 1 copy only thing and can’t be reduced even though i’ll literally never use it bc i have gabriel and gabriel has a sub aura, i guess maybe it could be potentially useful for prometheus solo’ing because of the 1 turn debuff resistance, but the times i did solo prometheus i never had problems running out of veils or clears and tbh garnet carbuncle has a shorter cooldown and again i’ve got lily and gabriel already (and 5* lucifer now) so like i’d much rather have my four summon slots for that be gabe, moon ssr, luci, garnet carbuncle. (heck i don’t even take extra damage cuts for the wilnas trial vane, lily, gabriel, and 5* feower’s gravity and delaying the everloving shit out of wilnas is enough for me, though i’ve never done the raid so maybe it would be helpful there.) anyways then i just spend the rest of the event drops on half elixers, and back to what i was saying i was thinking about finishing eahta and looking at all the mats i need and then remember oh yeah i need 30 class distinctions don’t i? which ones do i need for eahta??? oH THAT’S RIGHT. SAMURAI DISTINCTIONS. so that fuckin worked out perfect (not that i don’t have the pendents to just buy them anyways). anyways im going to shut up now and probably never re-read any of this ramble i wrote ever again bc adhd brain be like no read only write

#dumb text post #sammy be quiet #sammy liveblogs about granblue #sammy no #imafuckingidiot #sammy rambles #wow look at all this time i spent wasting writing this post like an idiot instead of auto farming angel halo #goddamnit

[queencitydispatch]

"Please can we not make her mayor?"

I woke up today to this fascinating question regarding Cllr. Ana Bailão’s votes to uphold systemic oppression within the Toronto Police. “Please can we not make her mayor?”

It was a deceptively complex question that got me thinking of some of the fundamentals of activism, social change and politics, that I wanted to unpack this question bit by bit.

I’ve cut it into five sections: PLEASE, CAN, WE, NOT MAKE HER, MAYOR.

///

1. PLEASE

I assume this softens the meaning of the phrase - “I want her out of politics” is pretty harsh – especially in the context of a man publicly critiquing a woman. Yet it shows us something important – we are implying we need permission to participate in politics.

Why are we asking for permission? And to whom is this appeal directed? Last time I checked, I don’t need permission to do most things in life, including participating in the political process. Our US-based friends did not ask for permission when they recently revolted against their governments; they did it even though they faced police brutality, neo-Nazi paramilitaries, psychological warfare, a global pandemic and more.

The “please” comes out of the respectability politics that makes “Ontario” as a political entity so curious. “Please don’t gut our healthcare!” is not coming from a position of strength. (Anyway, it’s much easier for progressives to walk back overzealousness in the name of justice than it is for people to walk back bigotry.)

To best challenge power, we must never apologize for having ambitious convictions. We need to champion big ideas, even if they’re ahead of the curve. Two months ago, police reform would have been considered impossible in America. And they were right, it was impossible...under the existing model. So they changed the model.

Change – especially lasting change – comes from the grassroots, so while it’s not a bad thing to support progressive political candidates, parties and organizations, it is *significantly* more important to support issues-based activists and organizations (i.e. if you give $10 monthly to the NDP, why not also give $10 to your favourite advocacy group?). Issues-based groups are formed to challenge one specific cog of power at a time and can therefore deliver deep, fundamental and long-lasting impacts. (Plus…this is a great way for potential candidates to gain some experience; get those ppl knocking on doors now and they’ll do much better in 2022.)

2. CAN

If we are asking “do we, as a community, have the capacity to elect someone better?” The answer to this is yes, but if we’re instead asking “will someone within the existing structure please FINALLY get off their ass and challenge her?” then we might ask ourselves why this hasn’t already happened. The civic left has largely allowed Cllr. Bailão (and, to a lesser extent, Mayor Wonderbread, who is merely a pathetic, respectable version of Rob Ford) to go unchallenged because she’s been deemed impossible to beat, but by not challenging her, the civic left has allowed her career to continue essentially unfettered because they don’t want to spend resources on a race they’re unlikely to win. If only there were some other downtown districts where a new, young generation of activists can start to build their careers…except the seats available are full with straight white boy progressives.

Why does the civic left protect Gord Perks, Joe Cressy and Mike Layton? Like…honestly…I just don't see what the big deal about Joe Cressy is. He bumped Ausma Malik out of the 2018 election instead of doing the right thing and making way for a supremely talented racialized woman like I'd hope someone committed to true justice would. There is even a movement in the democratic party to ask white men to not run in safe seats. [This paragraph and the next have been edited for tone, thank you to Colin Burns for encouraging me to rethink my words and my misdirected anger, my frustration naturally lies with Cllr. Bailāo's behaviour.]

Gord Perks verged into alt-left territory last year as a free-speech absolutist and consequently an apologist for bigotry when he should have defended trans folk. He even shared his disappointing thoughts publicly (yup, he did, they’re still up, don’t @ me on this one, you’ll regret it: http://gordperks.ca/toronto-public-library-chief-librarians-decision/) so considering who he seems to be, we can do better after 14 years? (TL;DR – there’s need for renewal in a lot of parts of our movements, and the labour movement is no exception.)

Mike Layton is a lovely man with his heart in the right place. I’ve volunteered for him and would gladly do it again. It therefore pains me to recognize that his last name is more than a name. I’m happy for everything he (and his team) has contributed in a rapidly changing district. My concern is that lefties can’t afford to support dynasties in the same way that liberals and conservatives can, especially in downtown districts where our odds of winning are good and where we ought to be supporting talented Black, Trans, Indigenous, disAbled and economically-disadvantaged candidates that are already on the front lines of social change. (This list is illustrative, not exhaustive.) By the time of the next election, Mike Layton will have been there for 12 years. Perhaps it’s time for him to open an opportunity for others.

3. WE

Who is “we”? Is it people in this district? Is it people in Toronto? Is it progressives? Whoever can identify this “we” and mobilize them will have the best shot of defeating her. This is the “coalition” people describe as needed to win election. Of course, this includes whoever’s running for office and their team. That organizing work needs to start right now if there’s going to be any chance of a lefty winning this seat in 2022. (If you think she isn’t already considering her council seat successor, remember that her old boss was Mario Silva, who was *coincidentally* Davenport’s City Councillor and MP for a combined 16 years.)

4. NOT MAKE HER

This is maybe the biggest hurdle to get over since “NOT ANA BAILAO” is not an option on the ballot. Considering there are no formal (lol) parties or slates on council, her name recognition is her biggest electoral asset, so a keep-it-safe campaign won’t work. Plus her public image is fairly non-toxic, so as pissed off as we all are, most people won’t be swayed by a STOP BAILAO campaign from the left (the trope of the conservative woman can be very powerful – thanks Maggie – so expect her campaign to lean pretty typically right).

When we say “Cllr. Bailão should not be Mayor” we rob ourselves of the ability to say “I think this person would make a great mayor” or “these are the some of the values I want in a mayor.” – and I don’t mean just of the City Council types. (At this point, Josh Marlow is the other councilor to watch.)

I hate hearing “why can’t we have AOC or Jacinta Arden or Anne Hidalgo or Ilhan Omar?” They didn’t come out of thin air. We already have those people here, we just haven’t elevated them to where they can make a difference and this is why. (Also, lefties, let’s seriously push for term limits and ranked ballots…especially the term limits, most ppl out there love the idea, it costs zero dollars and ensures districts have a healthy amount of turnover.)

5. MAYOR

Toronto City Council is a “weak mayor” system. The Mayor need council approval for pretty much everything important. The Mayor will find success or failure on how well he can build a team of reliable allies on council. It’s something thing Mayor Wonderbread does too well: his allies don’t offer a lot of different views. A hypothetical Mayor Bailão would probably do similar.

So then how rigid should a politician be? Are they supposed to be trustees, where we trust them to do what’s best for us and we have a check-in every 4 years? Or are they supposed to be conduits of public opinion with little regard for context? Or is a councillor meant to reflect the demographics of their district, even though they can only truly embody one set of lived experiences as an individual? Or perhaps, in the case of Cllr. Bailão, someone not dedicated to steering the ship but merely running the engine, not caring where it sails even though we've seen icebergs on the horizon? We’ve grown up in a SimCity generation where we think the mayor can make whatever they want happen. As great as that might sound sometimes, in a democracy, accountability matters. But it must come with a recognition that SimCity mayors don't fear the wrath of the voters.

///

I want to recognize that a 10% reallocation is fucking pathetic and still Toronto council couldn’t do it…but at least we know where we stand, and with whom.

We often look at politics as a sport or a soap opera, and it feels great when your team scores points or your favourite character delivers a knockout performance. Even I was like “dang girl” when Nancy Pelosi defiantly ripped up the President’s speech. I was also touched by Jagmeet Singh’s touching display of emotion the day after he was ejected from the House of Commons for calling out bigotry. But that’s not politics, that’s a long running TV drama series, so as disappointed as I am in what happened, I’m not gonna yell at her in the street because White Man Raging is not a great look these days…or ever.

So let’s not make this about my neighbour, Cllr. Ana Bailão. Let’s make it about the system of oppression she has willingly chosen to uphold and tearing that motherfucker down piece by piece.

[cherryblossomcheesecake]

Stop Kissing Boys in the Street - a nyxnoct oneshot

A/N: So like, this is major au, cuz a) no war for the sake of this thing working out so therefore ppl know what noct looks like, b) this pairing is au, and c) if this pairing was canon, daddy regis' reaction would not be this, but like i said, au and this is good song about growth and acceptance, so we're going with it. The nickname nyx calls noct (myshka) is used other writers for this pairing, so it isn’t my original idea, I just used it since everyone on this mircoship has sorta adopted it?  Anyways, I hope you enjoy cuz this became way bigger than I intended it to be lmao. Drop me an ask if you wanna see a specific type of fic from me, I’m open for requests.

Master List

Regis found out through the citadel grapevine. Servants gossiping during their shifts was nothing new, usually pertaining to the scandals of Insomnia celebrities, and rarely caught the attention of the king as he travelled from one meeting to the next. However, the passing of his son’s name from their lips made him pause in the hall, listening intently to what they had to say.

“Did you hear about the Crown Prince skulking about the city in the evening?” one servant tittered to her companion, receiving a gasp in response.

“No, you’re not saying that the prince was one of those two teenagers who were spotted kissing in the alley by the citadel?!”

“That’s what a guard told me.” the servants’ voices faded off into the distance as they continued on with their duties. The king adjusted his grip on his cane, continuing to walk onwards to his next meeting, disregarding the women's’ gossip. If his son was seeing a girl, he would know.

A mistake on his part.

The gossip reached his ears a second time, from a council advisor, who approached the king and his shield with a group of fellow nobles after a meeting.

“Your majesty, I’m not sure if you’re aware of the rumours surrounding your son, but perhaps you could clear it up for us.” the man questioned, arms folded tightly behind his back.

Regis turned towards him, shifting his weight from his bad leg before giving the advisor his full attention.

“There have been instances where an individual resembling the prince has been spotted out in the streets of Insomnia at night. More often than not, in the company and embrace of men.”

The king froze, his mouth forming a small ‘o’ as he thought back to the servants gossiping a few days ago. When they had mentioned two teens, they had meant two boys, something that Regis had not been anticipating.

Regis could only smile calmly, hiding his shock and anger beneath his mask. “Forgive me, councilor, but I don’t pay much attention to rumours as they rarely hold any truth to them.” the king replied, staring down at the advisor, who continued to stand his ground.

“Of course, but every rumour has a grain of truth to it, your majesty.” the man stated, offering a short bow before walking away, leaving Regis to process this new information.

Noctis hadn’t been expecting a confrontation at dinner, he hadn’t even been aware of the rumours surrounding him. When his father appeared in the private dining room for dinner, he could sense the calm before the storm. The prince kept quiet, knowing his father would speak when he was ready.

The king began calmly, as if he was discussing something as simple as the weather.

“There have been some interesting rumours circulating the citadel as of late, Noctis. Have you caught wind of them yet?”

Noctis tensed slightly, unsure of the direction this conversation was headed in.

“No, I haven’t. You always taught me rumours weren’t worth listening to unless someone brings it to your attention.” the dark-haired teen answered carefully, pushing his food around his plate.

“Well, this was interesting enough for a member of the council to speak to me about it, considering it had something to do with you and an unnamed boy.”

Noctis froze as the words fell from his father’s lips, staring down at his plate with wide eyes. Silence filled the room, the sound of the prince’s fork hitting his plate echoing in the high ceiling.

“I-uh….” Noctis scrambled for an answer, avoiding his father’s green eyes as he frantically tried to come up with an explanation.

Regis continued to speak in a calm tone of voice that oozed a deep disappointment and anger, a tone he rarely ever used with his son.

"Tell me, Noctis. How am I supposed to answer when the council tells me my son, my only heir, was kissing boys in the streets of Insomnia? Do you have any idea how this sort of behaviour reflects on the family?” the teen’s hands trembled, causing his fork to tumble from his finger tips. Blue eyes nervously stared across the table, fixing on a point just over the king’s shoulder.

“Your right as heir and next in line for the throne can be brought into question due to this sort of behaviour. It’s an embarrassment and makes our line look weak, son.” Regis tried to reason, hoping his son would tell him that it was only drunken tomfoolery and was likely to never happen again.

But Noctis merely took a deep breath, before looking into his father’s eyes.

“And what if ‘this sort of behaviour’ is who I really am? What if my romantic tastes are an embarrassment and reflect badly on our family?” the prince questioned defiantly, blue eyes boring into green. The silence was so deafening, you could hear a pin drop.

“You are part of this family; you’re my son. But this behaviour isn’t good for your health, Noctis. You need to move past this-this phase." the king stated, lacing his fingers together as he leaned against the table top.

“And if it isn’t a ‘phase’?” the dark-haired boy challenged, narrowing his eyes at Regis as he waited for an answer.

The king never replied, choosing to stand and leave, his silence enough of an answer for Noctis.

The seventeen year old prince began packing his essentials that evening, and left the citadel without a word, severing contact with his father and leaving his life as crown prince of Lucis behind.

Noctis shuffled across the apartment floor before collapsing onto the beaten up queen-sized mattress. He ended up half on top of his lover, drawing a groan from the man beneath him.

One ice blue eye opened as the raven-haired boy snuggled against the firm chest he was laying on, frowning lightly.

“Rough day at work?” Nyx questioned, his voice gravelly from sleep.

Getting a head shake in response, the glaive sighed, sitting up and pulling the younger man into his lap.

“If it’s not work, than what is it?” the Galahdian prodded, cradling his lover’s dark head against his shoulder. Noctis remained quiet for a few moments, sighing as he collected himself.

“Ignis came by today while I was at work.” he began, tucking himself under Nyx’s stubble-covered chin, “He said that the king is asking after me…”

“I thought you had severed all ties with him when you were 17..” the older man stated, waiting for his lover to clarify.

“Yeah, after he found out about...about my preferences, I moved out and we haven’t spoken since…” the prince explained, staring at a spot on the wall, “But Ignis says he’s been asking about me more often recently, and that his health is declining…” Noctis trailed off, lost for words as calloused fingers combed through thick black locks.

“What are you thinking, myshka?” Nyx whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of the twenty-year old’s head.

“What if he’s dying, Nyx? What if he’s dying, and I never go to see him..?” Noctis asked in a broken voice

The galahdian tightened his arms around the younger man, allowing him to cry into his chest.

“But if you go, you might be able to make amends. Then you can be there until his last moment…” the tattooed man reasoned, trying to soothe his lover as he cried.

Watery sapphire-blue eyes met ice coloured ones as Noctis pulled himself away from Nyx’s chest, sniffling as he wiped at the tear tracks covering his cheeks.

“Will you come with me?” the ex-prince begged him, blue eyes wide and pleading.

“I’ll never let you out of my sight, myshka, I promise you that…” the galahdian assured, drawing his younger lover into a tearful kiss.

“Thank you...” Noctis whispered against chapped lips, allowing Nyx to pull him back down onto the mattress, tucking himself against a muscled chest.

Noctis clung to Nyx’s hand as they were led through the familiar halls of the citadel, servants that lingered along the way gossiping and whispering at the appearance of the missing prince, hand-in-hand with an immigrant, and a much older man at that.

The pair silently followed Ignis towards the large double doors that hid the king away from everyone else, a familiar sight to the ex-prince as the doors eventually opened for them. The king’s chambers were kept warm by the fires that were lit in the massive fire places, fighting the chill that crept through the citadel stonework.

The fires were the only source of light as they moved further into the king’s chambers, Noctis freezing as the duo came face to face with the last set of doors that separated them from the king. Nyx placed a comforting hand on his lover’s shoulder, grounding the younger man as he took a deep breath before opening one of the doors and entering.

The room wasn’t as dark as the rest of the king’s quarters, bedside lamps aiding the roaring fire in bring light to the room. The king lay swaddled in the warmth of his blankets and the fire, tired green eyes turning slowly until they landed on the familiar form of his son.

“Noctis…” Regis called out, his voice betraying just how uncertain he was about the man before him actually being his son.

“Hey dad…” the raven-haired man replied, taking slow, tentative steps towards his father’s bed.

“Oh, Noctis… It’s been too long, come closer, son. And bring that fellow with you.” Regis said, gesturing for the pair to come over to his bedside, attempting to prop himself up against his pillows.

The younger man knelt at his father’s bedside, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as Regis grasped his pale hand gently.

“Let me get a good look at you…” the king whispered, clouded green eyes slowly scanning the twenty-year old’s face, taking in every change he noticed—from the way Noctis styled his hair, with little braids and beads woven among the long black locks, to the small freckles and scars that he had obtained from various job occupations. But most of all, hidden behind the obvious nervousness of being back at the citadel, Regis could tell his son was happy and felt free in his new life.

His green gaze moved upwards to his son’s companion, examining the older man carefully.

“Noctis, if you wouldn’t mind introducing us.” Regis requested, nodding up at the galahdian standing behind his son’s shoulder.

“Oh, dad, this is Nyx Ulric, my um...my boyfriend. Nyx, meet my dad, Regis.” Noctis introduced the two to each other, clearing his throat slightly as he forced to words out.

“I trust you’ve been taking care of my boy, Ulric. Bahamut knows I haven’t these last few years…” the king inquired, gazing tiredly at the couple before him.

“Of course, sir. I do my best to keep him comfortable and happy, your majesty.” Nyx assured the fragile monarch, receiving a soft nod in response.

“Good, good…” Regis trailed off, sighing heavily before locking eyes with Noctis once more, “While I’m glad you have been doing alright, I didn’t ask after you so I could interrogate you and your partner, Noctis.”

“Son, I hope you’ll forgive my behaviour over the last few years, especially the whole mess about your sexuality. There is no way to excuse my reaction or my behaviour over these last few years. I’m sorry that it took me four years and laying on my death bed to come to terms with who you are and accept you.” the king wheezed out, breaking into a rattling cough that made Noctis’ heart jump into his throat. He gripped Regis’ hand tightly, Nyx resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“And now knowing that you have a loving and caring life partner, I know that your feelings for him are as real as the love I had for your mother. My son, make sure you keep kissing that boy in the streets. Hell, when I’m gone and you’ve been crowned as king, kiss him on the citadel balcony. Don’t ever let anyone shame you as I have." Regis told him solemnly, gripping Noctis’ hand tightly as his green eyes stared into the blue of his son’s.

Noctis held back his tears, swallowing tightly as he smiled at his father.

“Sure thing, dad.” the younger man assured, a few tears escaping and sliding down his cheeks.

The king then turned his attention to Nyx, fixing him with as stern of a look as he could muster.

“Now, I expect you to do right by my son, and make an honest man of him, Nyx Ulric. I want to at least see an engagement ring on my son’s hand before I pass on.” Regis lectured, Noctis turning a deep red in embarrassment. Nyx chuckled, gently twirling a strand of his lover’s dark hair around his finger.

“Already on it, sir.” the galahdian promised, Noctis turning around quickly to look at his partner in shock as his blush deepened.

“Good. And please, call me Regis.” the king smiled lightly, watching the duo with a pleased gaze.

Nyx gazed adoringly down at the raven-haired man, while Noctis, even with his intense blush, glanced up lovingly at the elder man through his lashes.

If Noctis falling in love and being loved was the end result, his son should keep kissing that boy in the street.

#ffxv #nyxnoct #nyx ulric #noctis lucis caelum #this hurt me #it took 3 days to do this #like wtf

[vampire-bitch]

My Feelings on V’s Route (Spoilers)

I was rly feeling the V route hype, I was looking forward to what might happen, speculating on if we would in fact be playing as the MC or even Rika. So I bought it, got his normal ending looked up his good ending and, I felt, Meh.

Warning this is rly long 

Bad Stuff

Now I will defiantly say that Saeren/Ray continuously perusing you did not help V’s chances. I love that boy to death and the fact that he was one of the main characters within this route did not help V’s chances. I plan on going back and getting all the bad endings because Rika and Ray were way more interesting to me than V and the rest of the RFA. Fuck I was hoping I would get more conversations with Vanderwood than have to listen to V contently being stubborn. (Thats not a jab at Vanderwood I love them, I want Vanderwood route plz) 

Once the real “route” got into motion and my character was locked into supporting V I wanted to rip my hair out. Seriously though, looking at the story as a whole, NONE OF THIS NEEDED TO HAPPEN, THIS IS PRETTY MUCH V’S FAULT. Now I’m not saying that Rika is innocent in this at all, this is as much of her fault as it is V’s, but the thing is that if Rika had gotten the help she needed none of this would have happened at all (in my opinion). 

Here is my knowledge of the events leading up to Rika’s fake death; Rika and V grow and nurture a super unhealthy relationship, they get into a fight, V angry at Rika tells 7 to block her from the messenger, with her accesses blocked Rika has no one to go to other than maybe V, Angry, frustrated, scared and alone on top of her deteriorating mental health Rika disappears and creates Mint Eye. If V hadn’t attempted to “Cure” Rika on his own this honestly probably woudn’t have transpired (in my opinion). But it is also important to remember that to an extant just because Rika is mentally ill does not give her a free pass too fuck with other peoples lives, DRAG SAEREN INTO THIS, stab V ext ext. 

Personally the worst thing that happens and is both V and Rika’s fault is the fact that Saeren is pulled into their fucking relationship problems. Like literally they both fucking suck for this. You promised a close friend/pretty much adoptive son that you will make sure his twin brother is safe; while he tries to create a normal life outside of the abusive home that he and his brother grew up in, and you let your ex girlfriend manipulate, torture, drug and use his twin brother? Like fuck both V and Rika they deserve each other. How dare V not tell 7 whats going on in the main story and in this route like seriously thats honestly repulsive, Rika having a mental illness isn’t an excuse but at least it give a damn good reason as to why she dragged him into this bullshit.

Good stuff

But, I need to say some good things about this route since their rly were some rly good parts. For one I was really surprised and happy (in a weird way) that Cheritz was able to portray an unhealthy relationship that wasn’t just the usual dating violence (even tho that did happen). V and Rika were both so dependent on one and other; V pretty much worshiped the ground she walked on and Rika was emotionally codependent on V who would happily let it happen. Neither of them had room to be their own people, and because of this any fight or disagreement would become explosive (no pun intended). 

They also made me kinda like and feel genuinely bad for Rika. I know a lot of people in this fandom hate her with an undying passion, (which is understandable) but she is someone who is suffering from severe untreated mental illness and is desperately trying to get help. She trying to help herself in a really bad way, but at the end of the V normal ending she says things like “I’m un-salvageable” and “please help me”. Like thats fucking heartbreaking and one of the few moments within the route were I genuinely felt something. Anyone that has struggled with mental illness can relate to the feeling of helplessness that Rika is feeling. She’s understandably afraid that if she goes to get professional help she will be locked away, which is honestly a legitimate fear. She’s already feeling mentally trapped in her own mind and knows that if she tries to get help she might be psychically trapped as well. 

Cheritz is always been rly good at writing sympathetic villains who are trapped within a situation that prompts them to do something shitty in order to gain the happiness they long for. I know the fandom will always see Rika as a villain and that kinda sucks considering passed villain characters have gotten a free pass to be liked since they had sympathetic reasons as to why they did shit. But Cheritz has always been kinda bad at writing likable female characters and unfortunately Rika is an improvement in some aspects but also a bit of a step backwards. Hell even Jaehee is written in a way that makes ppl dislike her, she even got on my nerves in Zen’s route, but i’m getting off topic. 

I’m happy for mystic messengers success like so fucking happy. Cheritz is an awesome company and I’m happy to see them flourish. I love them enough to write this and share my feelings about the route. I don’t write this because I hate them or the game I write this because I love them so much and want them to gradually improve with each game they put out. 

but yeah this was long if you actually read this thank you idk why you did but your cool ok bye. 

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger spoilers #sorry for bad grammar or spelling

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #13- FINALE

I gotta say Im SUPERRR upset with myself right now. To be completely honest I feel like I could have won had my laptop not frozen which would have been really nice to have. What is making this worse is knowing I lost because my computer decided to freeze for 1st time ever! 

This is okies though. Once I get to the end I'll just be able to stick to the narrative of things never going my way but I still persevered! 

The silver lining to losing and Cheatham winning is knowing this means Sara goes. I was a little worried that if Cheatham left it keeps AMs options open. Now if he wins its gonna force her hand. I just have to promise her F2 even more and pray it convinces her NOT to do anything crazy

(LATER)

I've done some rethinking- if AnnMarie is in f4 with Sara and Austin I'd like to think it means she is not gonna try and target anyone but them. I should be safe...but I am also interested in seeing if Cheatham legit votes for Austin or not

Yeah so um...Apparently Austin leaked everything that Cheatham told him to AM and Chris yesterday so they added him to an alliance chat. But pretty sure they're also playing semi emotionally rn and not thinking straight. If AM was actually going to potentially idol Austin out before..she knows he's a clear threat. All it takes is Chris/am/cheatham to get together and hash this all out and turn on Austin. Though idk how likely it is Cheatham would do that. He's flat out told me that he knows Austin is the biggest threat yet he seems stuck like glue to him. I mean..so am I...but I don't really have a lot of other options...they all want me out...and there's no way to immunity streak. I really need Austin to stay because I truly believe he'll at least tie at f4 if we have to. Cheatham may not no matter how many times he's told that Am/Chris won't split. Or he'll vote me assuming he's winning final immunity.

I'm thinking about telling Cheatham straight up I am voting him. Its just weird because he seems to already know he is likely going so perhaps AnnMarie has already talked to him, not sure but I do feel bad even if he is voting me out

I feel like I am now sort of in a great spot because I am framing AnnMarie to be the one calling the shots but actually she is coming to me asking what to do O-O. So Operation: Wolfsheep(?) was a success! I told her to see how Sara feels about Austin/Chatham became we have to max our benefits!

(LATER)

Here we go again! Austin and AnnMarie on at the same time so lets get this party started

Hi Friends, its final five! And I wanted to quit the game again! By far the hardest immunity challenge that I've ever done and tbh it pissed me off. I lasted 3 hours and 14 minutes and for what? To fight for my life again bc I might get voted out? It pisses me off. My body is still completely sore. Anyways, My plan for this week is to convince Am to vote out either Chris or Austin, I don't care who, bc they will vote each other out if it means that they get to stay. I made a DAMN good plea to AM and it seems like it might have worked. BUT you never know. If this works out for me, Its just another thing on my resume :)

(LATER)

WELL CHANGE OF PLANS. REWIND. Austin literally just called me and told me how he got added to a F3 with AM and Chris.He told Sara about it so she wants me, him, and her to work together and get out CHRIS. AHHHH CRAZY RIGHT? Like I don't wanna work with them but it is the only thing that will get me through this week. Hopefully it works out. PEACE.

Ahhh! I feel like Dorothy in Oz right now! My yellow brick road is splitting and I don't know which path to followwwww!!! Technically AM could screw things with the idol (which she finally came clean about) but there's pros and cons to all vote options this round... Voting Cheatham this round would likely make it easier for me to win immunity. I also don't fully trust him. HOWEVER, that still leaves AM and Chris in the game together and I'm nearly certain they will vote together next round. Voting Cheatham would also keep a tad of trust with AM and hopefully she and Chris would fire Austin  instead of me. But Austin is also close with Chris. Taking this path would probably leave f3 wide open and if I did somehow end up f3 with Chris/AM, I HAVE to win immunity or I'm ducked. But if that f3 did happen and I won final immunity, I'd have a much easier win than with Austin...but do I even want it easy? That's boring. You can't be the best until you win against the best. And... Voting Chris would break him from AnnMarie and we wouldn't have to worry about them trying to make finals together. Plus, Cheatham would be there next round, so maybe I could get her to vote Cheatham out next round if he isn't immune. Then in a F3 situation, I THINK both Austin/AM would take me instead of each other. But it's also a risk because I'd be leaving AM out of this vote and she may not trust me. Or can #GirlPower prevail? Did any of this make sense? And all of this lit only works if Austin doesn't plan on turning against me. If he does ..then RIP my game all together.

omg i feel im def the one going home . all my flipping and leaking info has finally caught up to me and i cant blame ppl for finding out haha. we will see what happens. tumblr survivor gods please be with me!

3 votes Chris, 2 votes Austin.

WTF?!?! I cant believe I made it past that tribal.  Thank god for sara and cheatham having my back this vote. Idk what's gonna happen next but I gotta try not damn hardest on this immunity or it could be me going home next .

Idk what my end game plan is really.  Idc who I go to the end with I just wanna make it there.  So I gotta convince someone to vote with me so at least if anything it will be a tie and there is a chance for me . It's been a hard game but I have loved every second of it <3

Ughhhh...I know what needs to be done this round but it's soooo hard!! As annoyed as I am with the way Austin tried playing the game, making F2's with idek how many people, he's still like the nicest kid ever and I feel bad. Like bro, you had a good enough social game...you didn't NEED to do that. He literally probably would have gotten by with it too if it wasn't for him leaking AM's idol plans back to her (literally told him he's going to get himself in trouble) and also telling AM Cheatham/I were voting Chris so she should save him to take out Cheatham. Lit, he could have been honest with me and and just voted Cheatham and I wouldn't have cared. But trying to be so sneaky and then blatantly lying to me about it is something. And that is that on that. As far as this F3 goes...I'm nervous. I'd love to win final immunity to ensure a spot in finals but really it's a double edged sword. I won like 4 or 5 individual immunities in my last game and jury apparently dragged me saying that's the only reason I made finals. I knew that was not true and hosts did too, but perception is reality. Also, winning forces me to piss off either AM or Cheatham. I really do not need that. I low-key, strategically brought up a F2 to AM at the last vote just to see if she had one with Chris to decide what last rounds best vote was. If she had one with him, I figured she'd sorta brush off mine. If she didn't, I figured she'd be all for it. Well...she didn't tell me I'm her F2 until AFTER Chris was blindsided, so we know what that means. But now..she may have taken mine seriously and be saltier than the Atlantic if I gave her 3rd. What would ultimately be best is for one of the other 2 to win immunity and convince them to take me with. Unless they already have a f2 together, I think this would be easier with AM as I could use the 'Cheatham was the Thrush underdog' and '#GirlPower' on her. But...she's just not the greatest at comps so I feel that's not an option. Cheatham might be more difficult as I know fo sho he's thirsty for a W. He's literally tried taking me out for whatever reason several times. Why would he target me instead of AM if it wasn't for threat purposes? But if he did win, my argument is gonna be that she auto has Chris' vote and literally ZERO blood on her hands with the jury. What else can I use with him? Maybe peeps like Noah rigging immunity for me at merge so that I'd stay loyal and then backstabbing anyway. Salt. OR Liam asking for a F2 (even tho it was lit during Tribal and too late to save himself) and then voting him out. More salt. Honestly though, idk if anything I say would change his mind...so throwing the comp intentionally is risky...risky af...but it could also be the difference in winning/losing. How about that novel? x)

Hello friends. I've made it again. I was hoping that I could win immunity too but I couldn't. TBH, I don't THINK I'm going home this week. Though I very well could, I just don't see it. The way I'm playing this week is how to get a F3 that will take me to F2. My target this week is Austin. Sara told me a lot of shit about Austin so I think it is pretty obvious that she wants him out. Then there is AM who is very quiet but why would she not vote Austin. Hopefully Austin goes and then boom! I'm in F3 and HAVE to win that immunity.

(LATER)

OKAY this is my ENDGAME plans. Out of the four that are left. I'm hoping that I can take AM to F2. Tbh I feel I can defiantly beat Sara and AM. Sara I feel like just wouldn't take me to the end. Austin, though I feel I can beat, also played a really good game. I'm gonna plead my case to the jury like this. I was a target every single week for pre-merge. Every time, they wanted me out. I somehow managed to bounce back each time. I was unanimously Petrels target come swap/merge and I lasted through that. I gained a lot of peoples trust which was shown in the Captaincy immunity challenge. I was the vote that decided if Rizo was to go or not. And when it came time, I told him that. I tried my best to play an honest game. I was able to get the Idol and had it for 5 rounds without anyone voting it out of me. I was able to get everyone to take out Noah because I saw him as the biggest threat in the game. For Vincents week, I somehow convinced Sara and AM that the whole thing was Vincents idea and he made me believe that I needed to vote out Sara. EVEN AFTER I literally just used an idol to get Sara out. AND convinced Vincent to come BACK to me and vote Sara out .hats pretty badass. On Chris' week, once again I decided who goes home and I picked the right way if that means that I end up in F2. Every week, I had to FIGHT to be there. That is something that I don't think a lot of people had to do. I always came close to winning immunitys, if I didn't win. And proved that I'm not only a strong social player, but also a strong comp competitor.

IM HERE IM HERE IM HERE IM FINALLY HERE!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I CANT BELIEVE IT I REALLY CANT BELIEVE IT OMG. THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND IM SO HAPPY! I never thought I would make it this far into the game, and I'm so excited for the possibility of f3. People are telling me that they're voting Austin, but it's been awfully quiet. I'm scared that the silence is a sign, but I hope that I'm just being paranoid. I'm just happy to be here.

3 votes Austin, 1 vote AnnMarie.

well, here we are, final 3. I guess this is where my game ends. Sara just won immunity and after I plead my case and my feelings are basically crushed. She rubs a little salt in the wound by telling me a move that I messed up on. Vincent wasn't the one who told Sara and AM about the vote switch. It was Austin. It just really frustrating how this game played out. I worked my motherfucking ass off. It seems like I did it for nothing. This is my last org for hopefully a long while and I was hoping I'd get that edit of "Underdog Villain Wins the Season and Leaves the Hateful Community" and I didn't get that edit. I'm not gonna get that edit. I spent the entire first half of this game as the "Other vote" all people wanted to do was blindside me/ get me out. I had a breakdown early on in the game (def wasn't my last one) where I wanted to quit the game. The guy that I was falling in love with broke my heart, my job was chaotic, I was getting SHIT ON on discord, was doing endurance comp after endurance comp and there was no pay off, was failing my classes, was losing friendships, and all I wanted to do was quit. But I didn't and I kept going. I kept playing my ass off and it sucks to be out played. Im a sore. loser. TRUST ME I KNOW. But to come this far and still lose, it fucking sucks, Yes, this is just a game. I get it. Log off, quit, do whatever you need to do to not let it control your life. I can't DO THAT though. I love orgs! This is the kind of stuff that I always wanted to do! I have a lot of stuff to work on within myself. I know. But for right now, all I want to do is win. And I'm almost positive that its not gonna happen. I don't even think that Im gonna get POTS. Just sucks to put so much effort into something with zero pay off. Anyways. I guess I'll see y'all sometime. Much love.                                                                                             - The Villain

Did I just do THAT?!? Force myself to finals!? I know this sounds sappy and cheesy over an online game...but my entire life I've been really underestimated..for multiple reasons, so it feels great to be able to prove myself in any situation. No, I haven't won...but have at least dragged myself as far as you can go in this game. Now it's [semi] out of my hands. But now is the hard part... Who do I take with me!? I literally went to sleep last night wanting to take Cheatham. I woke up this morning wanting to slap myself in the face for thinking that. Now I want to take AM. The perk to taking AM is that I 100% feel that my game was superior. I also 'technically' asked her for a f2, though on my end it was more strategic as mentioned in an earlier confessional. However, I still do not like breaking F2s if avoidable. But she did also tell me she'd have taken Cheatham to finals over me so... And the perk to taking Cheatham is that I feel like he's more deserving of finals and winning (or losing) against him would feel much better than the other option. But is it worth breaking the f2, especially when AM was probably slightly more loyal to me? I know she said my name once too, but Cheatham said it multiple times AND tried to freaking idol me out! Even after all of that I was willing to work with him and saved him a couple rounds...but when is enough, enough??

Wow. I cannot believe I am finally here at the very end. This is so shocking to me. I have never gotten this far before in any game, so I am just so excited. I am so happy that Sara decided to take me with her to the end, but I know for a fact that I have a very small chance of winning this. I really need to get on track and figure out how to talk like a normal human being so I can win over the jury, any way I can. Making that video for right of passage was so pointless (although it was super fun to make). It was not what Sara and Cheatham had done. I really wish I would have done the doc to at least clarify what the hell I actually did in this game. In reality, I truly think I just played for a hell of a good time, and I had a hell of a good time, because it was a hell of a good time. You know what isn't a hell of a good time? Not being at the end with Cheatham. It would have been so fun, and I think it would be a little easier for me to talk. I think that speaking to the jury with Sara will get me a bit nervous. I am not the most articulate person, so going up against Sara concise speaking will ruin meeeee. But I will be extremely happy if Sara wins. She honestly deserves it.

Cheatham becomes the final member of the jury.

#announcement

[survivoratomic-acadia]

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.  

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao                                                                                                 xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST. 

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except  luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely                                 Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W                                  Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel?  think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself.  I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason                                                                                  xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos)                                                                                     xoxo, gossip girl      P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it.  "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much.  We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon 

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool 

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!! 

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!! 

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH. 

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space  mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later 

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops?                                    Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (: 

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat. 

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days!  As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week.  I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol                                     Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe. 

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal 

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess 

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow. 

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing 

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION 

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed /                                                                                                xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working. 

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^ 

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe. 

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win 

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA. 

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out? 

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY  my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt. 

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out!                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives 

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh. 

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!  

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see!  I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that. 

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack 

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild. 

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks