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farfarawaygirl · 2 years

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Hi, I was also pleased with this ep for the same reasons you listed! I had a feeling that Ashley & Tim wouldn’t break up at the end, but at the very least, the date seemed to plant some seeds of doubt in their relationship. Also loved the chemistry between Chris & Lucy (why couldn’t he have been like this from the beginning???) What are you thoughts on Tim calling out him being Lucy’s sergeant, especially when literally in the prior scene, they were operating as partners?

As far as Tim maintaining the boundaries between him and Lucy in the workplace - every time he calls it out, I always think of "the lady doth protest too much", and how Tim doesn't even validate Ashley's concern with Lucy (not that there was much concern).

Both Tim and Lucy are used to fiercely defending each other. Lucy to the Detective from IA, Tim with Rosalind - and arguably Caleb. Those are just the first examples that pop to mind, but we know that Tim and Lucy are the only OG Rookie/TO team that made it all 13 months, they shared more with each other than any other team on the show. Arguably, they are the B point couple in this show - their storylines are usually interwoven. Tim and Lucy respect each other.

Two standouts for me:

Tim saying Lucy is too smart to get caught stealing in 1x13

Lucy defending Tim to Nolan, and calling him calculating not cruel.

There is an ying yang dichotomy at work here, they are two sides of the same coin. Lucy wants to know where stands in the world, where the safe spaces are, and Tim wants to control his own fate, because he doesn't know if he can trust anyone else. Safety and security - for themselves and others - is both of their goals.

I think Tim maintaining that Lucy is his Aide, and he her Sergeant is how he is trying to make the situation safe for both of them. He doesn't want to let other people know what is happening between them - maybe, because he doesn't know himself. I don't think that either one of them is aware of the depth of feeling between them. Let alone that it is reciprocated.

Tim is a black and white thinker, and as long as he can easily say that he is Lucy's Sergeant, he doesn't have to look any deeper than that. We don't even need to create subtext, or use supposition, Tim said that because he doesn't see a possibility of anything more between them.

anywhooooooo, that's that on the Sergeant line.

As far as Chris and Lucy go - I am happy you liked the chemistry. I like the softness/vulnerability that Melissa infuses into Lucy, but I just feel meg about Chris. Win me over, I say. I want to like him - so, it should be easy.

#emma shouts into the void #ask emma #chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #ashley mcgrady #i have so many thoughst about these guys

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bthump · 3 years

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hello, i just recently read berserk and i am absolutely blown away. im so glad to have found your blog, you have made a lot of in depth analyses on griffguts and honestly i have a lot of trouble comprehending griffith's and gut's relationship and feelings toward each other post-eclipse but i feel like you clarified a lot of things for me and im so grateful! i also wanna ask smth in regards to guts and casca but character limit soon so ill do it in another ask. just wanna say i appreciate you!

idk if its just me being ridiculously biased but i cant rly see the guts/casca ship? like i can tolerate it because i feel like it was written to move the plot in a certain direction/character development and not for the sake of romance but i always feel like guts was just... there. i mean when you compare the way he thinks abt griffith to casca in the golden age arc, he obviously reveres griffith so much, and casca is just... there. i really enjoyed their moments and thought they were cute but

with the sex scene i always just saw it as them coping. i did like it in how it explored guts's sexual trauma and it mostly seemed like guts and casca were friends doing it for the sake of coping rather than out of love and desire for each other. not to mention judeau who kept trying to push them together... but then post-eclipse, it seems like guts is so in love w/ her and thats why hes heartbroken, and not bc they were close friends and that he just cares for her as a fellow hawk member

idk maybe im missing something, i would love to be enlightened bc i rly scratch my head when i see people describing it as an amazing love story and a romantic ship when to me it comes off as less like trying to portray a passionate love b/w two characters and more as, this is necessary for guts's character development and motivation in regards to griffith. esp when i feel like guts and griffith's feelings for each other are just so intense, even if its more "subtle" than an outright sex scene

thank you so much! I'm v glad my blog helped clarify some stuff about the story for you, I appreciate you letting me know <3

well if you want to be enlightened about how Guts and Casca is actually super romantic deep down you've come to the wrong place lol because you've mostly described how I feel about their relationship.

I completely agree that during the Golden Age their relationship felt very much like two friends hooking up. The fact that Judeau had to push them into it seems really telling to me, there are strong indications that they're both rebounding from Griffith, as soon as Griffith re-enters the picture they get weird and jealous, after they have sex Guts calls his sword all there is for him and invites Casca along in as non-committal a way as you can, Guts decides independent of Casca to stay with Griffith instead of leaving with her just as Casca decides the same, I also want to shoehorn in a link to this thing I wrote lol, etc.

And I actually don't see any difference after the Eclipse tbh. I actually wonder which translation you read, because I know at least one of the scanlations out there has Guts talk about how he loves her a few times post-Eclipse while the Dark Horse translation never does.

I think Guts' relationship with Casca after the Eclipse is largely based on obligation. It's actually kind of striking to me how unromantic it is.

Like during the Conviction arc he doesn't stop everything he's doing and decide to save Casca once he realizes she's in danger. He goes to check on her, finds her missing, then sits down in Godo's cave and debates with himself for two chapters before deciding to try to find her. And he only comes to this decision after comparing leaving Casca behind to leaving Griffith behind in the snow, and thinking of her as the last remnant of the Hawks ("this last feeble flame.")

I think to Guts she represents everything he threw away when he left the Hawks, and saving her is essentially a chance to better himself and try to make up for it. I don't think that's Guts' only motivation for saving her and then taking her to Elfhelm, I actually have a post here where I wrote a list of all the reasons I think Guts has if you're interested, but I do think it's the most important one.

And man after he saves her and returns her to Godo's, right before the Hill of Swords?

To me this excellent page - Casca mirroring a child, Griffith looking Like That, Guts' attention torn from Casca because Griffith looks Like That - just screams that Casca is Guts' responsibility while Griffith is Guts' desire. Whether that's revenge or latent attraction or probably both l b r, Griffith is the dude Guts wants to be pursuing and Casca is the person Guts is stuck with.

Even when he sexually assaults her it's all about Griffith lol, it's not even framed as, say, Guts being so attracted to her he can't help it or anything like that, it's framed as "do this and you'll get closer and closer to Griffith."

After learning her mind can be restored he potentially starts thinking about her more romantically, like there's subtext there when he watches Casca with Moonlight Boy on the beach, eg. And even that reads to me as Guts trying to distract himself from his "obsession" with Griffith.

I think Guts wanted to get back together with Casca after getting her sanity back for the same reason he had sex with her the first time - as a distraction from confusing and painful feelings. In the most recent chapters we saw that it didn’t work out and now he’s swinging his sword again, frustrated, wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do now, which in itself shows that he wasn’t trying to selflessly help Casca because he loves her, he mainly just needed something else to focus on while trying to kick his Griffith addiction.

SO yeah, basically ia that their relationship doesn’t seem romantic pre-Eclipse, but I also don’t think there’s much of a romantic element post-Eclipse either. I felt like it was fairly consistent throughout.

#ask #a #b #ship: gtsca #theme: revenge #theme: repression #character: guts

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thatsjustsupergirl · 3 years

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just want to say ia with your occasional rants about fandom santizing alex's personality (feels like a weird kind of misogyny but idk how to explain it) and complaining about her not being gay enough/the right kind of gay (which is homophobic and makes me, as an alex sort of gay, feel not great).

dude “weird kind of misogyny” is an excellent way to put it. cycles can tell you i yell all the time about how a lot of wlw fanfic has depressingly sexist subtext that pushes the characters into very stereotypical gender roles and relationship dynamics when the literal BEST PART of being a gaymo is that these rules don’t apply to you. (also like the entire point of feminism is that there is no wrong way to be female)

probably my favorite example was this one random sanvers fic (maybe???? it’s been so long since i paid attention to shipfic in this fandom lol) where alex got kidnapped and was this broken crying mess after five minutes because she was hurt because obviously she needed a big tough hero for consolation and like,,,,,, in what way does this resemble the person who straight-up killed her captor after being kidnapped and stabbed in literally the second episode of the series.

#supergirl fic #character stuff #asks #anonymous

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verobatto · 3 years

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Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XC

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Breaking Walls (Part I)

(12x20/12x21)

Hello my friends! I'm here with another meta from season 12! This time I'll try to resume these two episodes pointing important subtext and foreshadows I found in them.

We/Us vs Only Dean

Resonating with the previous episode, the mixtape one. We will meet Tasha Banes and her son's Alicia and Max. And with them will come the difference between WE/US and I/ME.

First of all, we were fed with Dean Winchester's worries for Castiel.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

The scene opens with a close up to Dean's hands. This focus on the hands will continue through the episode, related with my Quantum theory about Dabb's era, it talks about a foreshadow. And because is centered on the knuckles, is a foreshadow of Dean hitting on the door from the Burger Shop after praying to Chuck in 13x01. Linked to his worries for Castiel, opens the door for the incoming mourning for him.

Dean: That freaking baby isn't even born yet and it sock puppeted him. Think about it.

Is very meaningful Dean uses this word PUPPET here, to explain Castiel's odd behavior. But is also related to this episode: a witch killing people and constructing puppets she can command as she wishes. If this sounds particularly known by all of us, is because is a very smart Foreshadow for Chuck appearing in the ending of season 14 and the whole season 15. The puppet master.

This is what makes Dean feel so worried: CAS having faith in Lucifer jr. As Dean calls it. Is not good sign for him. And because he knows what CAS is willing to do when he is in soldier mode, when he has faith in something. He can give everything in exchange. He knows it. And he is worried because CAS is in danger now. And he can't understand how CAS is having faith in that nephilim he was trying to kill hours before. He needs to understand what's going on, Because Castiel's safety is in danger. And Cas' means everything to Dean.

SAM: I don't know. I mean, look, this doesn't make any sense to me either, Dean. But if we wanna have some shot at finding Cas, the we have to...I don’t know. Uh, try and think like him.

DEAN: How? Seriously...

He sounds desperate here. He knows exactly this is the first time he saw CAS like this. Again brainwashed? He is scared. Dean is afraid of losing CAS. He didn't recognize Castiel looking back at him. Because CAS had a new mission now. Cas had determination in his eyes. And the mission comes first.

Then, one phone rings, and is Max and Alicia. And the dialogue here will separate the therms WE from INDIVIDUAL again.

ALICIA: Yeah, sorry to um...Uh, Mary gave me a couple different numbers to reach her, and we thought –

Max loudly interrupts Alicia to make a point that this is not his idea.

MAX: No. No. Mnh-mnh.

Alicia looks exasperated.

ALICIA: I thought Mary would be down to help. Uh, be our backup on this, um...

The parallel with the Barnes brothers here is loud, not just the missing parent in a hunt, but the blatant difference between WE/US vs INDIVIDUAL (Alice and Dean).

Max doesn't want his sister use him as a shield for showing his worries. Just like Dean used Sam in the mixtape scene or when CAS arrived at the bunker.

After Sam accepts to help, Dean turns into worried boyfriend mode...

He is like: 'Come on Sam, didn't you heard all my worries? We have to find CAS! CAS CAS CAS!'

Then we have Dean calling Mary...

His face here is loud. He was thinking about Castiel being in danger since CAS left. I bet you he couldn't sleep neither. And he needs to talk with someone about this. But how he feels about this. Becay Sam ia confused but he keeps doing his job. Dean just can't go on if he can't rescue CAS from the 'evil child'.

The Foreshadows

Before jumping into the symbology of this episode, let's show another example of we/u vs me/I:

ALICIA: Well, then why didn't you call us? I mean we–

MAX: Ahem.

Sam and Dean look slightly uncomfortable.

ALICIA: I called and texted a lot.

TASHA: I'm sorry, baby. My phone hasn't been charging all day.

Is the difference between the amount of worrisome and the effort from the writers to point out that to us. To make it noticeable.

Now, let's go with Mary Winchester: there's this scene in which Mary discovers Mick's corpse and she uncovered his face. Is a sad foreshadow of Dean in episode 13x01 uncovering Castiel's face when he laid dead on the table.

Also the finding of the corpses ina dark place by Dean and Sam, was a foreshadow of dead and the Empty.

Then, Tasha attack Alicia and Max, as a foreshadow of Mary coming against her own boys.

But it caught my attention what Ketch says to Mary:

KETCH: But I can keep you safe. If you just play your part, if you play nice...

In an episode where we are talking about puppets Ketch asks Mary to play her part. And I just recalled the whole season 9 with Metatron and the repetitive quote: Everyone needs to play their role. As an attempt coming from the writer to control the story and the characters. This is very important because is anticipating Chuck's plot in season 15. Mary answers: 'I don't play nice' as a reflection of TFW.

When Alicia dies, the dialogue between Sam, Dean and Max is another example of loosing a brother/family and loosing the love of your life.

SAM: Hey, Max, um, this is, uh... Look, you – you're probably in shock right now, but it's gonna pass.

DEAN: And then it's gonna hurt.

They're talking from their places, they had lost many people in their lives, family. Wich is pointing too what we will be seeing at the beginning of season 13, the big difference with loosing the love of your life, incarnated I'm Dean mourning Castiel.

Eileen's death and Brainwashing

Just a few words about episode 12x21.

Is the episode in which Eileen dies, in a dark Forest. Saileen always had been a Destiel mirror and showed the path for our ship. So when Eileen dies, is talking about the lovers separation through death. Sam uncovering her face in the morgue, again, as a prelude of Dean doing the same with Castiel.

BMoL brainwashing Mary, and using her as a puppet against the boy, is slightly showing how Dean sees what's going on with CAS.

But is also a foreshadow of AUMichael!Dean.

Later in the episode, we have Crowley who was controlling Lucifer's vessel as a puppet too, but something goes wrong this time.

DREXEL: The ability to control is transferring from Crowley to you.

LUCIFER: So you're saying that Crowley's gonna be my puppet.

This could be showing two interesting Foreshadows: first, when AUMichael will take control over Dean's body and kidnap him in episode 13x23, and second, what will happen once Dean will lock Michael down in his head, taking full control of his own body.

Then, another parallel between CAS and Mick. Remember Samadriek saying he has too much heart and that was his problem? Okay...

TONI: Oh, Mick's dead.

SAM: He's dead?

TONI: Quite. It was determined he was too sentimental for the job.

So Mick also had too much heart...

To Conclude:

Dean is a mess of worries for CAS and it shows. He is afraid of loosing him this time for real.

There are foreshadows of Cas' death all over the episodes, preluding the finale.

There's also a lot of references to puppets, for the incoming plot of Chuck and Dean's possesion.

Hope you like this volume. See you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @meleansu @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 12, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII, LXXXIX.

Buenos Aires, November 30th 2020 7:03 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #vol. XC #dean winchester #bmol #sam winchester #castiel #mary winchester #arthur ketch #crowley #lucifer

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salmankhanholics · 5 years

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★ Ali Abbas Zafar: If a superhero is selfless, half the battle is won..

Roshmila Bhattacharya | April 24th 2019

Ali Abbas Zafar explains what makes Salman Khan a crowdpuller; recounts his journey from biochemistry to Bollywood’s wonderland

In jeans and a Tee, Ali Abbas Zafar looks more like a guy-next-door than Bollywood’s A-list director. His Eid offering, the Salman Khan, Bhushan Kumar, Atul Agnihotri-produced Bharat, will open on June 5 and Ali is in the midst of post-production. But when he settles into his chair at a suburban studio, there’re no signs of rush. In fact, there’s a rare thehraav in his demeanour, a mathematical clarity in his thought process as he states that cinema is an applied art and not a fi ne art. Excerpts:

■ Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, Gunday, Sultan, Tiger Zinda Hai, and now Bharat, you are one of the most sought-after directors today. Enjoying the high or does the pressure give you sleepless nights?

(Laughs) Oh, lots of sleepless nights but since I’m doing what makes me happy, the days are satisfying. The pressure increases when it’s a big Eid release for a pan-India audience. There are people who watch one-two films a year and measuring up to their expectations keeps me on my toes.

■ You were doing your masters in biochemistry at the Delhi University. What brought you to Bollywood?

I’m a filmmaker by accident. Kirori Mal College has an active theatre group, Players, whose alumni includes Mr Bachchan (Amitabh), Satish Kaushik, Kabir Khan and Habib Faisal. I wanted to join the Indian Administrative Services (IAS) but after becoming a part of this group, I realised this is what makes me happy. So, though I had no background in TV or film — my dad is in the armed forces and my mom is a teacher — your typical-small town boy came to Mumbai to tell stories.

■ Tell us about your first attempt at direction?

That was Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (the 2011 romcom). The simple story, told earnestly, grew out of real life. It was set in Dehradun where I’d grown up and Delhi where I was studying. My brother lived in London while I was a struggling assistant director in Mumbai, like Imran Khan’s character. It was a customised Bollywood film with a three-act structure, an emotional and musical graph. It struck a chord.

■ Did you get the girl in real life?

(Laughs) No, but you can live your dreams in films.

■ What kind of films did you grow up on?

In mid-90s Dehradun, we either played sports or watched movies. I saw many films with friends after school and on holidays. But the only film I saw at home was Deewar which my dad said balanced out right and wrong in a human way.

■ Would you like to remake Deewar?

Sultan was very close to Deewar in the way its protagonist’s self-esteem/ego swings between right and wrong, and his redemption happens when he hits rockbottom and comes from within. Islam says the strongest jihad is the one you fight within yourself.

■ Sultan could have played any sport, why wrestling?

He could have been a rock star too, but I chose to make him a sportsman because I’d played hockey and football. It was wrestling because hundreds watch you fall in the akhada, making a loss a public humiliation, and the rise a public celebration. Kushti is a centuries-old sport that rises from the grassroots and has the soul of Hindustan which made it easier for the mass audience to identify with.

■ Bharat is the journey of one man over six decades, reflecting the country’s history. How old are you to attempt a fi lm with an epic sweep?

(Laughs) I’m 36, but it’s not so much about experience. If you understand life, even if you haven’t lived it but seen it in those around, you can mirror it. This is my third film with Salman (Khan) and much of the maturity in my work comes from his experience.

Bharat is the story of every Indian, of togetherness and responsibilities. A line in the film goes, “Desh logon se banta hai aur logon ki pehchan unke parivar se hoti hai.” And as the nation is a family, that’s the metaphor Bharat hinges on without being preachy or political.

■ Why adapt a Korean film, Ode To My Father, to tell the story of Bharat?

Emotions are universal and what I liked about Ode To My Father was the coherency of the emotions and the text. We’ve added a lot of Indian cultural subtext, the film reflects the events and changes from 1947 to 2010. My dad believes if you pick the right story that says the right things, you can’t go wrong. While many Hindi films revolve around the mother and son, the father has often been portrayed as a hard disciplinarian. My relationship with my dad and Salman’s with his (Salim Khan) is different and at the core of the film. That’s why only Salman could play Bharat.

■ How did the title come about?

Since the film isn’t only about a father and son, I didn’t want to translate Ode To My Father. I was tossing in bed at 5 am when the title came to me. Hours later, when I met SK and Atul I told them I had a title, Bharat. They froze for two seconds, then Salman said “yes”. Since this man symbolises the nation what better than Bharat.

■ How do your parents view your phenomenal success?

(Smiles) My father is my hero and my mother my superhero. They’re simple people, have never visited a set, not even mine. They’re happy for me but still urge me to complete my education. My brother has two MBAs and a Masters in Social Work, my parents are both post-graduates, I’m the only uneducated one (Laughs).

■ Salman’s Tiger comes out of a room full of poisononous gas, guns blazing, and the audience cheers. How do you create this suspension of disbelief?

Whether it’s Gunday, Tiger Zinda Hai, Sultan or Bharat, you have to connect with the audience in the first 20 minutes by showing something the character does or believes in that makes them root for him. Once that happens, they are with him even when he single-handedly decimates an entire army. If a superhero is selfless, and you have a star like Salman Khan, whom the audience loves, playing him, half the battle is won.

■ What makes Salman a superhero?

His honesty and earnestness. His communication with his audience is very direct. And even when he lives a character, Salman Khan doesn’t disappear 100 per cent. Whether its Tiger, Sultan or Bharat, his magical presence in there in the characters.

■ Has he evolved through the three films you’ve done together?

He was very evolved in the first film itself. I was the one who learnt from him. SK is a deep, mature and beautiful actor/human being, and when he identifies with an emotion, it just flows. There’s a scene in Sultan when he takes off his shirt and looks at his slightly out-of-shape body in the mirror. He avoided doing it till the last day, then suddenly stripped and faced the camera. It was a one-take shot and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. He’s so spontaneous when he’s in character. A star needs to be an actor, or he’ll fizzle out soon. Salman has been around for 30 years and his stardom has only grown.

■ Katrina Kaif and you share a beautiful relationship and she came on-board just days before Bharat rolled; after Priyanka Chopra confi ded her secret in you in the “nick of time” and exited.

Priyanka was doing the film but things happened. As a friend, she shared it with me and I told that her life is most important. She’s still a close friend. We laugh and talk twice a month. I’m very happy for her.

And I’m grateful to Katrina for stepping in. I was honest with her and told her I was sending her a script. If she liked it, we’d discuss it further. She’s my closest friend in Mumbai, we come from similar middleclass backgrounds, our values are the same, and we discuss everything. But on the work front, we’re very transparent with each other. If she doesn’t like something I’m doing, she lets me know and vice versa. In an industry where friendships don’t last even for months, ours has continued for over a decade.

■ What was her reaction to Bharat?

She told me it’s one of my best scripts and she’d do anything to be a part of the film. She’s done a phenomenal job. She’s grown as an actor, has a better command over the language now. She was loved in Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, Tiger Zinda Hai and even her performance in Zero was well received. She’s in top form and the maturity she has brought to Madam Sir’s character is commendable. There were times when on the sets, Salman would take me to a corner and say, “Sir, yeh scene to Katrina le gayi, ab mujhe kuch karna padega.” (Laughs) We are both very fond of her and together in a happy space, so he can crack such jokes.

■ Is your next with Ranveer Singh?

We’re friends, we keep meeting and discussing ideas, but there’s nothing concrete.

■ Sultan 2 or a Tiger 3 happening?

I have a couple of stories and I’d like to return with Tiger someday. I also want to do a love story.

■ With Salman?

(Smiles) There’s a possibility, he’s a big romantic hero. And I always narrate my stories to him first, he’s very objective. Aditya Chopra is another strong influence. In our field, it’s hard to find people you can trust, I’m lucky I have them as my first bouncing boards. But to get out of Bharat, a journey with many shades, I want to do a big action film next. But till Eid, my focus is Bharat.

Mumbai Mirror

#salman khan #Ali Abbas Zafar #interview #bharat #mumbai mirror

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oodlyenough · 7 years

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yeah, what gets me about the dumbledore situation are people who think he counts as representation when every now and then i see HP on lists of LGBT kids books. but deathly hallows came out when i was 12, a closeted lesbian, attending catholic school in a homophobic environment. i was definitely not picking up on any subtext that dumbledore was in love with grindelwald. lmao even when i saw headlines that dumbledore was gay, it was with a pic from the movies so i thought they meant the actor

akslfh @ hp on a list of lgbt books for kids lmao what in the hell

yeah IA i am definitely not going to herald Dumbledore as like, a gay lead or??? whatever?? and -- at least if hp were less of a phenomenon where its every detail gets splashed across pop culture -- it’d be entirely possible to read the books and have no idea, because it’s never more than subtext. (i DO think the subtext does exist -- i noticed it -- and i think there’s a difference between existing subtext being confirmed extra-canonically vs a totally arbitrary claim that has no evidence at all anywhere or like my personal fave “the creator tweeted that this character is bisexual but you’ll never see them even blink at the same gender ever”... but neither case is ideal and on the, i dunno, great list of representation i wouldn’t count either one.)

so i don’t find dumbledore a much bigger win for representation than, like, clara oswald’s maybe-bisexuality or sarah manning kissing a girl while she’s suicidally inebriated and trying to have a threesome, but like those posters were saying i also don’t think it’s fair to lump jkr in with fishing for brownie points on that subject. she was answering a direct question re: dumbledore’s love life, and it did play a role in the story. and i also agree that a book written in 2007 is a different context to something from 1997 or 2017, and so on

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baskingintheinsanity · 7 years

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And They Had Cake

A/n: Ok so….this originally was going to go in a slightly more sexy direction. And then it became deep. Sue me. I feel like I really want to do really emotional, wordy, well done smut for them now but I just don’t have the brain focus at the moment. But if there are any ideas for prompts for these two, smutty or otherwise, please send them to me. I love some Adlock ideas. Enjoy. Set immediately after The Lying Detective.

How was the cake?-IA

That was certainly not what he expected the text to read. And furthermore, it probably isn’t what she really means to ask. With the Woman, there’s always a code. A subtext. They say more than they say, more than they type.

But still, he feels his brows furrow, confused. He wasn’t going to ask how she knew that John had dragged him out for cake. He had long since stopped asking questions like ‘How did she…’ with her. No, what confused him was why she had not shown her face. Not that he desired for her to. Absurd idea. But if she knew about the cake, he can presume she was watching them, meaning she has to be in London. On the rare happenstance that they both end up in the same city on his birthday, she usually shows up at 221 B, in his thinking chair, asking him to have dinner with her. He never says yes. They had dinner in Karachi. And Montengro. Possibly once in Wycombe. But he never gives in and says yes when she specifically asks. It has to be, at least partly, his idea.

But every time he says yes, his head is left spinning afterwards. All this science and research done to figure out how the human body reacts to sex. Physically. But he has not read nearly enough on how it affects the mind. He would compare her affect to a drug. Not cocaine, no. That leaves you feeling wiped out afterwards. Destroyed. More like ecstasy, ironic as it sounds. Because it leaves your senses vibrating and anticipating more.

So one could easily deduce why he had not responded to that question. The confusion of why she sent it instead of appearing. The impossible deductions about what she actually meant by that question. Any path he could take concerning the text all lead down very distracting, very frustrating roads. Tempting, but…he had other pressing concerns. Or he thought he did. In his present state of withdrawl and being babysat, he couldn’t seem to remember what case he was supposed to be focusing on. Oh yes, the serial killer. Done. John came back.

He walks past the skull on the mantel, old buddy, to his room and sits down on his grey, rumpled sheets. His phone is in his hand and the screen has her text pulled up, but he doesn’t know how that happened. He sighs at himself. He’s found that sometimes his hands go on autopilot, starting to answer her before he’s decided if he wants to.

He lays back in bed and his fingers hover over his phone. He kept having the annoying desire, itching at him, to talk to someone. For them to tell them he was not a monster. He was human and made a mistake. But he also wanted to be assured that being human was also alright. That he hadn’t lost his touch, wasn’t a common person. He couldn’t even stand the idea. He had considered John, for half a second. But John was the epicenter. He was too close to the disaster. Molly was coming to watch him soon, but she was almost too sympathetic. She would indulge him too much. No, he needed a mix between the two. Not angry, not overly kind. But honest. And someone that knew and understood the way his brain worked.

That’s why his fingers kept going back and forth between typing out a reply and throwing his phone to the floor. He knew who he wanted to talk to. She was the only person he really could talk to about this. But it would open so many doors he didn’t want to walk through right now. He was not emotionally capable at the moment.

Sentiment, he cursed at himself as he sighed and called uncle, typing out a reply.

Vanilla with cheap frosting. But edible-SH.

He wasn’t sure how she would interpret that. Or if she would even reply. Sometimes she answered rapidly. Sometimes she never answered at all. He assumed it depended on her schedule. And whether she was running for her life. But the moan sounded out in his silent bedroom, cutting through the flat.

Does John not know that you don’t like vanilla?-IA

He pauses at that, maybe just a tad surprised, an uncommon emotion for Sherlock. He does not remember ever mentioning his cake preferences to her. And he remembers everything he has said to her. Not nostalgically, but the way a computer copies files to a back up drive to keep them safe.

No. How is it that you do?-SH

We had dinner on your birthday once. Do you not remember?-IA

He can tell when she means dinner and when she means dinner. They never had DINNER on his birthday. The memory floods his mind palace now. They were in a run-down French restaurant, right outside of London, after he had first showed his face again in the country after being presumed dead. They were trying not to be seen. The waiter had come around with a desert cart. He had been feeling particularly hungry that night so he picked up a slice of cake.

You got chocolate cake. I had crème brule.-IA.

He raises one eyebrow to himself, impressed.

That is an astute observation, Miss Adler.-SH

I had already guessed from our other dinners that you don’t like vanilla things, though-IA.

He has to put the phone down and pinch the bridge of his nose, attempting to prevent a headache. Just as she showed her intellect, she had to fire back with innuendo as well. That time, he knew, she did not mean dinner.

You were not in my chair when I returned-SH.

Did you want me to be?-IA

It was an observation of a broken pattern. You are in London. But you didn’t come to violate my chair.-SH.

I can violate whatever you like.-IA

Avoidance is not appealing.-SH

Some time passed before her next reply, the clock ticking.

I am giving you time. To detox.-IA

I would rather have a conversation.-SH

He had to curse himself as the three little dots appeared on his phone, indicating she was hesitating about replying. He had never openly told her that he needed her to just….talk to. She usually came to him. And even then, half of what they spoke was code.

But sure enough, her reply came in not seconds after his doubt.

Oh whatever about? I’m sure the great detective has all the answers.-IA

Maybe, as horrendous as it is to consider, sometimes I am human.-SH Of course you are.-IA

Now that shocked him. So much so that he had to put down his phone. Those words on the screen haunted him slightly…..what did she mean? She, of all people, knew how disastrous he was at emotions. He swallowed thickly, unused to the very uncomfortable tightening in his throat. He had heard it described as panic….but what was he afraid of?

Finally, on a crazy whim, he decided it would be better to just call her for this. And so for the first time, her ringtone for him rang out. Not his text alert. But the ringtone of an incoming call from Sherlock Holmes. Oh, a girl could be so lucky at times, she thought to herself.

She picked up the phone with a red manicured hand and couldn’t suppress the curl of her smirk, “Mr. Holmes.”

“Irene,” he sighed, her first clue that something was amiss with him. Seriously. The only time she remembers him saying her first name by itself was during dinner. It was Ms. Adler in public. It was a disgruntled Woman when he was upset with her. It was Irene Adler when he was proud. But only ever just Irene during intimate times….

So, quite appropriately, she frowned at his response, “Sherlock? What is the matter?”

He let out a humorless laugh, “Surely, you have updated yourself with the goings on of my life. Or your sources have. You know what they like after all.”

His voice cut, hurting her because he was hurting, “Don’t. Darling, you know deflection won’t work on me.”

He snorts in disbelief and he can almost hear her responding eyebrow raise of annoyance.

“You have never successfully lied to me, Sherlock.”

He wanted to deny it, to snap at her out of grief. But ultimately, he was too smart for that. He knew she was right. They were too similar to get away with lying to one another. One side of the coin cannot deceive the other.

“What did you mean? When I said I might be human, you said that of course I was,” he sounded slightly bewildered. He was hiding it with a gruff tone, but his voice was colored with a hint of something else.

She refrained from rolling her eyes as she would normally. This was serious. And rare. Something she understood that Sherlock did not. She had to explain it carefully to him.

“I have always known you were human, darling. You act like it is a recent development in your life, but Sherlock Holmes, you have always been just a man. Brilliant, maddening, slightly crazy. But human none the less. Perhaps more so than any other man.”

“No,” he spoke slowly, “That’s….not sensible. I have never quite understood all the pesky human emotions clouding all the people around me. With John and….with Mary….I started to. They were my friends.”

There was conviction in his voice. And pain. She noted the pain. It must be why he called.

“….Dear, why do you do what you do?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why do you solve crimes?”

He laughed at that, “Because-the game…the thrill of the chase, the high of the mystery and deductions. I enjoy it. You know that.”

She laughed at him, like the way a mother would shake their head at a child failing to tie their shoes, “No. I’m sorry, but no. Well, yes, that’s a part of it, but….with your brain, Sherlock, you could have been….a Nobel Prize winning scientist….a world renowned neurosurgeon….but you CHOSE to be a detective.”

He blinks, his brain trying to process her point, “Yes….I did. And?”

She sighs, almost frustrated that he isn’t getting it, “There is only one reason someone solves crimes, Sherlock Holmes…”

He did not respond.

“To help people,” she finally explained, “You have one of the greatest minds of our age and you chose to use it simply to help. Not to invent new technologies, not to get fame or money. But to get justice for the wronged in this world. And, I’m sorry, Sherlock, as much as it may ruin your image you have of yourself….that is the most human desire a man can have.”

Ah…he understood the panic now. Calling Irene meant he would have to face a mirror, stop lying to himself. If he wasn’t quite human, abnormal….then he wouldn’t have to feel the loss of his friend as intensely. But now that she’d let loose his secret, he had to feel it.

“….You know, don’t you?” His voice was low.

She almost wanted to play dumb and ask ‘know what?’, but it would be insulting him, “….Not the details, but, yes. You lost a friend. Not John, or you’d be on the floor. But someone almost as close….I surmise his wife?”

He swallowed the bile coming up his throat and nodded uselessly-she couldn’t see, “Yes. Mary. She was, uhm…” he trailed off, overwhelmed and somehow still sounding dignified. The posh boy.

“You don’t have to tell-“

“She died protecting me, took a bullet, as it were…”

She inhaled sharply, stunned by how much his voice broke during the admission, “Sherlock, I…”

“Please, Irene, you’re too smart to be sorry for something you had nothing to do with.”

She scoffed, almost offended, “I am not sorry for her death. How could I be? I didn’t know her. I am sorry for your pain. I do know you. And…knowing you, you must not be handling it well. You said you and John were friends….are you not know?”

“That’s the best part,” he smiled without joy, “It was my fault. You see, I swore to protect them. I promised Mary that I would keep all harm from her and John and the small Watson…”

She scowled at his guilt, almost mad at him for it, “Dear god, don’t put that on yourself! What did you expect yourself to do? See her coming to shield you and shove her out of the way in that split second?”

“No, Irene, but I invited her! I kept inviting her into dangerous situations with me! Because she was clever and I liked having her around and she helped me!” Irene pulled away from the phone, taking a deep breath to calm herself. He was raw. A raw genius is never a good thing.

“I know, Sherlock. Trust me, I’ve…dealt with similar situations. But you didn’t force her. If she didn’t want to endanger herself, she wouldn’t have gone with you. From what I hear of Mary Watson, she was the type that lived off that danger. Like you. That’s probably why you liked her. No matter what you did, she probably would have ended up in another dangerous place, of her own accord.”

“You didn’t…no, you didn’t know her. She had a daughter. She wanted a safe, normal life with her. And with John. And I wanted to give them that…”

“Has anyone ever told you that you can’t always get what you want?”

He actually laughed aloud. He couldn’t believe she’d achieved that. She smiled in relief and decided that the rest of the conversation needed to be in person, “Mr. Holmes, do you want to have dinner?”

And they had cake.

#sherlock #bbc #fanfic #drabbles #adlock #Irene adler #Sherlock holmes #the adlock yacht #just randomly finished this very quickly tonight #why am I so weirdly inspired this week #my shows are killing me is why

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