#these children good grief

[laceyeb]

I need But Daddy I Love Him like I need AIR to BREATHE.

Down Bad?!

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived?!

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)?!?!

EXCUSE ME??!!?!?!

#two of my students are big taylor swift fans and they came running into my classroom screaming at like 8AM #after a few minutes of discussing the new album one kid says ‘can I say a bad word real quick?’ #like an idiot I said ‘i guess so’ #and she says ‘honestly it’s giving classy cunt’ #in response to my shocked face she says ‘tell me im wrong’ #these children good grief

[scatterbrainedbot]

Hello :D

You're so cool

Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?

You're very cool :D love your stuff dude

(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))

hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!

so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.

Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)

For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.

of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?

for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.

so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3

still,

that fear

never

really

goes

away.....

#cue the 2003 tmnt dramatic Shredder sound effect TM #my art #rat sons #tmnt au #ask reply #TOOK ME A FULL MONTH TO ANSWER AND IM STILL NOT SUPER PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS BUT #also apologies if shits incohierent im v sick rn #but thank you so much for the question copper!! #a parents grief and terror at the thought of outliving their children #always gets me #and boy howdy these rat babies do Not make that shit easy for ol Splinter #all of them have brushed too close to death too many times #tbh thats probably why he started teaching them ninjutsu etc #like yeah yeah discpline and routine and practice all excellent lessons #but also #yall squishy babies and ur father is Stressed please learn to fight good so its one less thing he has to worry about #sorry splints theyre hamatos now theyre destined for danger #cw blood #cw gore

[communistkenobi]

sometimes I think oh actually being completely estranged from both of my parents is getting less painful now and then I see a tiktok about a guy showing off a beautiful present his daughter made for him and i have to stop watching the video so I don’t cry

#shoutout to people who don’t speak to their families. one of the most difficult things you can do in basically every single way #it does suck that immense amounts of grief don’t really go away they just become part of your daily life #I’m doing so much better than I was this time last year so i need to keep that in mind. It was a good decision I don’t regret it #I grieve for my parents a lot but I just cannot be around them. they are filled to the brim with poison #just deeply unhappy people whose only real source of power is abusing and controlling their children

[pain-is-too-tired]

One thing I like to hc with the Apollo Head Counselors is that they all represent a time of which the sun is out.

Lee - Dawn/Dusk

Mainly dusk, but pretty much imagine him in browns, oranges , dusky yellows and reds and the like.

Michael - Twilight

Starts after the fall of Dusk,short lived. Haralds the start of darkness and but also first light when it falls. The darkess time in which the sun is out. I see him muted/ dark blues,dull browns and blacks. Maybe a touch of greyish pale yellows.

Will - Daylight

Longest lived, bright, it's what most people think about when they think of the sun. With his golden sun kissed hair and sky blue eyes its pretty on the nose. I see him in bright/light yellows and blues.

Idk why I thought of posting this, I just love them and wanted to share my thoughts.

Think it is pretty obvious how I tend to draw them, but it's fun to write it out ^^

#mine #pain rambles #pjo fandom #pjo hcs #pjo hc #apollo cabin #cabin 7 #cabin 7 hcs #apollo cabin hcs #lee fletcher #pjo lee #micheal yew #pjo michael #will solace #pjo will #will solace headcanon #will hc #pjo headcanon #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #i just love them your honor #rick I'm so mad we got nothing about them in toa #you're telling me that one of the most family oriented gods didn't even think about the multitude children he lost in the Titan War ONCE #THE FIRST TIME HE WAS HUMAN WAS BECAUSE ZEUS KILLED ONE OF HIS KIDS #LIKE IT BE VERY REASONABLE FOR PART OF THE REASON HE WAS GETTING ON ZEUS' BAD SIDE WAS CAUSE HE WAS IN GRIEF AND NOT WATCHING HIS TONGUE #but no #we got his exes angst only #goodness sake would've loved to see him be the most nervous wreck of a dad because now he is living with HUMAN FATHER GRIEF #i'll stop now

[itstimeforstarwars]

Xanatos is so funny for treating Obi-Wan as a full-grown adult and hardened criminal on Telos IV and all of Telos was funny for going along with it. Xanatos says "Arrest these men!" and everyone assumes he means the pipsqueak thirteen-year-old and not. idk. The literal adult thief and hacker behind him.

#chit chat #xanatos du crion #obi wan kenobi #'arrest this man' this man hasn't even made it out of middle school #this man still sings in the jedi children’s choir #arrest this man good grief #i really can't take melida daan seriously in fandom because the literal jedi apprentice series is like #'this is obi-wan. he is a full grown man at the ripe old age of 13. if he had a real job he would be paying taxes. #the first time he leaves the temple he kills people but it's fine. because he is a grownup.'

[gojuo]

Proshippers be funny af. GoT opening sequence is nothing like hotd so that comparison they pulled up is false and desperate.

me: i want helaegon to be the deconstruction of targaryen incest that examines the psychological horror of a forced marriage to one's own sibling in which the full family is already hanging by a thread in a treacherous situation since there is no other targ couple in the entirety of canon perfectly situated to explore and dissect this horrific aspect of targaryen culture

#them: i want an incestuous love triangle (that is not canon) because incestuous love triangles is interesting writing or something

#i cant believe there are asoiaf fans out there that seriously dont want the targ inc*st to be probed and taken apart and vivisected. likeee #the entire point of targ incst is that its a horror show. its wrong. it should be denounced by the narrative. helaegon is the perfect fit #for that exploration and condemnation. hightower mother. first non targ parent and queen. first targ son that is disowned and emasculated #which leads to aegon not wanting to be a part of targaryen culture. neurodivergent helaena who does not or cannot understand why aegon acts #like it. who doesnt understand whats wrong with her (theres nothing wrong with her). aegon who just wants to be a brother since he cant be #son nor an heir. but hes not allowed to bc the dad who disowned him forces him to partake in targ culture. the blurring lines between #brother and husband and sister and wife and the horror of it all. what is love? i love you bc you are my sister but i cant love you bc you #are my wife and bc you are my sister it is wrong. big bro and first son aegon who has nothing to his name wanting a good life for his sibs #since aemond and daeron are not first sons and will never be first sons they are not doomed like aegon the first son is #and helaena could have lived a happy life married to a good guy with an inheritence who can actually bring smt to the table (unlike disowne #aegon) and who is not related by blood to her somewhere far away from KL and all of its grief. but its never gonna happen now bc they are #targaryens and this is what targaryens do. and alicent watches on unable to stop it. unable to spare her children from this horror show #and then blood and cheese happens... #and what does helaemond bring to the table ? .... uhh incst love triangle i guess 😒🙄 #anti helaemond #helaegon #hotd critical #anonymous #answered

[hussyknee]

So. Anyone else feeling a little unhinged rn?

#I've had to double my anti depressants #good news is that it's working #bad news is I still can't stay off social media #I saw another dead baby and this time just felt glad she didn't have to suffer this hell anymore #I have never wanted to believe in God more #I'm really glad they do #they believe their children are with God with all their hearts and I've started to imagine that's true too #holding onto their faith when I have none because otherwise I'd go insane #hyperfixating on Gaza for 6 wks while my hyperempathy went utterly haywire #has my brain dead convinced I'm Arab or something #I feel very stupid and guilty about it #like what right have I to claim this grief #and yet it's still easier to focus on than what's going on in my own country #ever since the protests fell apart last year and everything we had such hope for got flushed down the toilet #I just completely shut down #couldn't stand re-engaging with the world anymore #nearly ran out of reasons to keep going entirely this year #then when Gaza happened #I couldn't do anything but watch and learn and disseminate info like my life depended on it #just like with the SL protests #but it galvanized me the same way #I feel like it's breaking me down the same way too #I see all these massive protests and people chaining themselves and lying on the roads and getting thrown around by cops #I always felt that white and Western people could never truly feel our pain and it's amazing to see I was wrong #I feel so much love and awe and gratitude for them #but hope keeps getting dimmer and I'm slipping into despair again #exactly like with the SL protests #I don't want to go through all that betrayal and heartbreak and depression again #nobody that's directly impacted by this knows I exist and all the terrible pain I carry doesn't make a damn bit of difference #so I'm just spiralling alone in my head to no purpose lol

[isfjmel-phleg]

One more paragraph to go! I realized that I had put into the first paragraph information that made more sense later on, so shifting things around got some thoughts moving and rekindled my desire to fistfight some of these authors of retellings, which I think is where you're supposed to be emotionally as an academic (this is a joke. I am joking.), so...progress. Very slowly.

#random personal stuff #it's the comments that suggest that Burnett didn't know how to write her own story that annoy me #allegedly Mary's 'grief journey' needed to be 'more authentic to what kids for the most part can relate to' #or she 'wasn't grieving enough' because the book was written in 1911 when presumably no one knew what human behavior looked like #or because it was just a children's book and therefore automatically lacking in emotional depth #so THANK GOODNESS for the writers of the 2020s who are fixing what poor clueless Burnett didn't know how to portray \sarcasm #YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT #YOU ARE BRINGING ASSUMPTIONS TO THE TEXT ABOUT WHAT ITS THEMES ARE AND THEN CRITICIZING THE TEXT FOR NOT TREATING THOSE THEMES #AND ACTING LIKE SOME KIND OF HERO FOR REWRITING THE STORY TO SUIT YOUR OWN NEEDS #the 1993 film and the musical have a lot going for them BUT #they have massively set back interpretation of the story because so many people are hung up on the traditional grief thing #ALSO to just gloss over CEN as something that most young readers wouldn't be able to relate to or just plain being unable to see it #comes from a very tone-deaf mindset #(I can't get this snarky in the paper so thank you for humoring an outburst)

[feydrautha]

Nothing funnier than seeing Targ stans go "before HOTD no one cared about the Hightowers they were a minor forgotten house in ASOIAF and Tyrell vassals, Jonsas and Targ haters are at work again" as if 1. it's surprising that people are paying attention to a smaller house now that it's a major house during the time of the show 2. it's utterly impossible that someone likes the antagonists besides Sansa stans for another reason that they hate Dany and project that dislike onto Rhaenyra and Daemon

#house of the dragon #alicent hightower #homie one of my fave houses is Bolton and they betray the Starks LMAO #sometimes people just like villains and the characters the narrative doesnt support #+i cannot be arsed to have the vision for Jonsa bc i hate show Jon and while Sansa isnt a fav i ship her w Sandor Tyrion and Petyr #dany and targ haters are a breed of people i avoid like the plague bc they give me secondhand embarrassment #and theres a surprising amount of antis among team green ppl as if Alicent didnt wed her two eldest children lmfao #good grief why are the extremes in this fandom the dumbest people put on this green earth

[veloursdor]

May I ask for widow wan crumbs please? 🥺👉👈

Hi nonie! Of course you can, I love Widow-Wan AU 💕

I bring you 1.2k words of Obi-Wan truly trying to be a father to the twins but failing miserably at it. 

And it hurts him.

‘Anakin should be here’, Obi-Wan thought morosely as he watched Leia play with little Ezra Bridger while Master Windu read Luke one of his favourite plays. The children were happy to be in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, surrounded by people who could spend more than a few minutes in their presence without breaking down in tears. 

Laughter was a good sound on Luke and Leia, 9 years old and so much like Anakin when they had first met that it hurt too much for him to see them for longer than a few minutes. More than that and he would only see Anakin, which wasn’t fair on his children at all.

He couldn’t stop himself from wishfully thinking that Anakin should’ve been around to witness their children’s happiness, to shower them with love and be the father he had always dreamt of being, let alone from hating the fact that he had been robbed of having a chance.

He was thankful for his friends’ and family’s continuous efforts in helping him with the children, but the knowledge that it should have been him and Anakin against the rest of the galaxy burned inside of him, rendering him useless when it came to the children more often than not. It should have been Anakin the one who taught Leia how to tinker with droids instead of Ahsoka; Anakin should have been around to teach Luke how to be the second best pilot the galaxy had ever seen.

Instead, the children had to conform with second best attempts. Obi-Wan was grateful for everything people did for them, but they weren’t Anakin, no one was, and he just couldn’t pretend as if everything was alright when it wasn’t. 

He wasn’t meant to be a single father; the plan had always been for Anakin to deliver the babies – safely inside the Halls of Healing – and for them to leave the Jedi in order to focus on their little family, away from everyone else.

But Anakin had died for Leia to live, and it had changed every plan Obi-Wan had ever made.

Obi-Wan tried his best not to let the bitterness win, but when every morning he woke up to Anakin’s side of the bed cold and empty, when every time one of the twins did something marvellous and he turned around to share it with Anakin only to remember that Anakin was gone… it was harder to pretend that sometimes he wished Anakin hadn’t done what he did.

He loved Leia, tried his hardest to show her that he loved her with the part of his heart that didn’t belong to Anakin. But it was especially hard the older she grew and her attitude started to resemble the father that she would never know. Her temper, her fire… it was so much like Anakin, Obi-Wan could barely stand to be in her presence for more than a few minutes, sometimes even hours, before he was reminded of the young boy his beloved had been when they had first met.

She looked nothing like Anakin – Luke was the one who had been blessed with his beauty – but the fire that had lived inside of Anakin resided now in Leia, making it hard for Obi-Wan not to blurt out Anakin’s name when he managed to talk with her for more than a few minutes.

The twins were all the good that Anakin had in him, his beauty and his strength, his love of mischief and his desire to help. Everything that made the twins them had belonged to Anakin first… and Obi-Wan struggled more often than not to see his kids for who they were instead of who they reminded him of.

Leia had Anakin’s temper, but where Anakin had struggled to rein his fury, Leia had started to master the art of diplomacy. He was filled with sadness every time Leia managed to breathe through her anger and address the issues with a cool head, as it reminded him of the times when Anakin would throw a tantrum if negotiations ran longer than expected. 

Luke was Anakin to the dot, with his blonde hair and piercing blue eyes; but where his beloved Anakin’s eyes had burned with the inner conflict of his loyalties torn apart, Luke was serene and calm, perfectly content with following the Jedi tenants. He never questioned or raged against them, making it so that Obi-Wan couldn’t be in the room if Luke was to be praised by the Council.

The Council had never been kind to Anakin in the first place.

“Dad!” Luke’s voice broke through his sad thoughts as a small figure crashed into his side, earning a huff from him. “Master Mace was telling me about this new play he heard about! It’s about a donkey who…”

“Luke, you should be…” he cut himself off at the hopeful look in the child’s eyes, so similar to Anakin’s when he had first arrived at the temple that his heart squeezed at the sight of them. Luke was part of Anakin, and for that alone Obi-Wan loved him completely.

It was just hard to prove it when Anakin wasn’t there to share parenthood with him.

“Tell me all about this play, Luke,” Obi-Wan placed Luke on his lap, hugging the boy close to him. Luke lit up in his embrace, twisting his heart once more at the reminder of his failure at being a proper parent to the children.

Yet his grief was too strong to actually make him change his ways.

“It’s the story of a donkey, a dog, a cat, and a chicken who decide to leave their masters and become musicians in the big city! Master Mace was showing me the songs and they…” Luke was interrupted by Leia’s stomping. A frown was on her face, and her arms were crossed above her chest.

It looked so similar to Anakin’s pouts as a child that Obi-Wan had to look away from her if he didn’t want to cry in the middle of the room with every Jedi present staring at him in pity.

“Why don’t you join us, my dear?” Obi-Wan asked with a knot on his throat as Leia climbed on his lap and pushed Luke slightly to the side, so the both of them could be in his arms.

His heart was breaking itself into pieces as Luke continued his story, Leia agreeing softly with him while pressing herself closer to his chest. Obi-Wan could barely hear what the children were saying, the pressure in his heart was enough to make his ears ring painfully.

Mace, sensing his distress, came to his rescue when Obi-Wan needed him the most.

“Children, it’s time to practise our katas.”

“But… Dad…”

“Come on now, children, listen to Master Mace,” Obi-Wan said with a knot on his throat, “I’ll join you shortly. I have to… discuss something with Master Yoda.”

“But… Dad, we were…”

Obi-Wan ignored their plights as he set them on the grass in front of him and stood in a hurry, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill and make a spectacle of himself. After nodding to Mace, Obi-Wan made a swift exit out of the room, the tears and sobs inside of him finally leaving him as soon as he crossed the doors.

Had he been less busy burying himself in his grief, he would’ve noticed the broken hearted expressions in his children’s faces, begging for their dad to come back to them.

#obikin #widow-wan au #when your grief is too strong and you neglect everything else #he tries to be a good parent #but obi-wan is not good with children #also that beauty comment was inspired by edward telling renesmee she's not as pretty as bella... father of the year everyone #nonie asks

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya doesn’t intend to ever get married. Due to him being Khaenri’ahn, if it’s not having to keep that fact from them ( especially with how devout the Mondstadters are to Barbatos ), it’s the fact that he fears what would happen to them and any children they may have, should Celestia become aware of them. He can’t trust it won’t end terribly for them, and will always be left fearing they’ll be used against him or hurt bc of him.

#hc; kaeya #//One for him too nfbdb #//Ive mentioned before if he gets convinced to marry; he would prefer any wedding a VERY private event #//He will be Adamant abt it. he will concede anything and everything to his partner. but THAT is nonnegotiable #//In all honesty; he’d want the location to be at Dawn Winery over anywhere else #//That’s HOME. there’s his FAMILY. even if it’s been ages since he’s actually been able to call either such #//But his heart remains with them #//To share that with his beloved; he would consider it a great gift #//But then there’s a matter of convincing Luc abt it; which he is sure he would never agree to #//Kae would want to follow all Mond’s traditions; even if he really does want to incorporate Khaenri’ahn ones #//but he doesn’t know enough abt them and researching might draw more attention on it than he’d like #//If anything; might only ever include their first dance to him singing a Khaenri’ahn wedding song for his partner #//Acapella; unless he can get Venti to play along #//Marriage definitely isn’t in his plans; tho he’s willing if his partner is; but raising a family DEFFO is more what he wants #//Hes deffo the kind of person to want to adopt/raise children even without a partner #//But again; he’s still worried what Celestia would do in response to him having a family #//And wonders if he’d even be a good enough parent; if he could live up to what Crepus love had given him #//To grant it to THEM in turn. he’d give his very life for them. would LIVE for them. would even overthrow Celestia for them #//& that scares him. he doesn’t know WHAT he’d do if anything happens to them. even at cost of himself & potentially everyone else #//Mans would fucken get Mond heckin Nailed again in his grief; it’d be That bad #//Clothar would have NOTHIN on him

[undertalethingems]

Sorry, I'm kinda new to the fandom but I never heard the "Undyne is racist" thing,, and I have no idea how someone came up with that???

yeaahhh it's. bad.

so, full disclosure, i'm white, so i'm not qualified to talk about racism in-depth and don't wish to get into it. but i feel like the people who say undyne is racist because she hates humans have only the shallowest understanding of what racism even is. I can only imagine they think racism is simply hating people for their ancestry--in this case, hating someone for being a human. but... racism is way more complicated than that, and it ignores the many legitimate reasons Undyne--as well as other monsters--might fear and hate humans. But it seems that context doesn't matter to people like this. hating people is bad, therefore, undyne is bad. the end.

it suggests a very simplistic worldview where a single bad action, even if later atoned for or corrected, renders you a bad person forever. It doesn't matter why you did it, even if you were misled or misinformed, because it was bad and you should have chosen to be good instead--but you didn't, so now you're irredeemable. It paints everyone who isn't a perfect angel as a hypocrite, because if you were really good, you wouldn't do bad things like lying, hating, or [reads smudged words on palm] manipulating people by trying to give them advice about making better choices? yeah. we're talking serious circular logic and mental gymnastics here, and insisting on seeing every "bad" action as proof of bad morals.

it's a very close-minded approach to the world... and it completely misses the point of a game about having compassion and understanding even for people who are very different from you. i'm baffled why these folks bother engaging with undertale at all.

#these people often point out asgore killing 6 children as being bad and that's the one point i'll agree with 'cause yeah. it -is- bad #but they then act like people never make rash decisions out of grief or anger #or that people make bad decisions because they feel they can't go back on their word or obligations #they only see part of the picture and refuse to understand the rest of it #and it's all said with a sense of superiority. as though they could never make a bad choice themselves because they're a good person #if this is how they approach fiction it makes me worry for how they'll interact with the wider world... >>; #it's. troubling. #anyway i hope i'm not opening a can of worms here =-=;;;;;; #ugh. #unpopular opinion zone #undertalethingem chats

[mumblingsage]

In honor of Thanksgiving, I wrote the family confrontation scene and almost made myself cry.

#it turns out to all be about GRIEF #big surprise to followers of mumbling sage dot tumblr dot com #something about a father who truly wants to be good but can't be fixed #like in this case there's satisfaction in the children withholding their forgiveness but it's a very sad satisfaction #I know I'm not breaking new ground by observing people sometimes forgive their abusers as a way to forestall grief #(my own relationship with my dad was much more complicated as he was not abusive and suffered so much more than he ever made me suffer.) #(but it overlaps in enough corners to make this. uh. poignant?)

[badolmen]

Hm sorry I just don’t think *checks notes* ‘homophobia [extra bad because they’re muslim]’ gives anyone the right to bomb civilian hospitals, homes, ambulances, and children.

#ra speak #personal #current events #saw a mutual get an absolutely usamerican take in their inbox. jfc I hope that person reevaluates their priorities in a time of genocide. #my overwhelming grief has ignited to overwhelming rage and babes I am this close to hunting jackasses for sport #*shaking idiots by their shoulders* INDESCRIMINATE MURDER OF INNOCENT MEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY MIGHT B BIGOTS ISNT A WIN MY DUDE #pissed I can’t go to any protests or marches bc of my bones and lack of transport >:/ #I will angrily knit and pray and hope and speak of the wonderful lives and loves and homes the Palestinian people will create in coming yrs #because they will live and live and go home and see justice for these crimes. if not by my hand then by the millions #around the world who will work against every oppressive warmongering colonial power that refuses to listen to the people and basic ethics #okay blocking some more tags bc this ain’t good for my heart rate. will continue to speak of hope and love and the brighter future.

[oldshrewsburyian]

Even though I continue to be a wimp about horror, I am increasingly into Chapelwaite (and halfway through the series, which turns out to have 10 episodes instead of 6. Still more chances for people to become Less Okay! Help.) It's primarily a gothic horror show, but the characterization is so interesting. For instance:

the hypocritical minister™ is also genuinely trying to be a good man, and to fight for a version of his community where neighbors are more genuinely loving to each other

the dour minister's wife™ is also a grieving mother who is depressed and anxious and who feels estranged from her husband and doesn't know what to do about any of this

Honor, the sweet and solemn eldest of the Boone children, is negotiating her own place on the cusp of adulthood, but still possessed of a childlike innocence, even impulsivity sometimes. Also it turns out that she will fire a rifle at a crowd of racists trying to kill her dad (#goodforher)

I also love her siblings: Loa who is grieving and angry and not quite in her teens yet, and Tane who runs wild in the barn and garden and fights in school but also is still young enough to hold his dad's hand. I'm feeling guilty for preemptively deciding these kids were Unnecessary Additions To The Narrative because now I'm invested. And at the halfway point, Charles is practically trembling with the nervous strain of trying to protect them from isolation, grief, racists, vampires, and his own incipient madness. I am not okay about it.

Also, the acting is strong all around, and when Jennifer Ens gets her breakout role I will say aha because I love her so much as Honor. I was glad to see that Adrien Brody was nominated for an award in this because I can't decide whether watching him in this role counts as therapy (Aristotelian theory of tragedy) or requires an invoice for therapy (Tumblr theory of tragedy) but either way! There was a scene in the latest episode where we see him, in a long shot, confronting... something, we know not what. And we see his breathing change. And I started saying "nonononono" out loud, because whatever was making him look Like That...!

#chapelwaite #this has been out for years so i'm not worrying about spoilers #also i won't give away horror spoilers™ for those who might... uh... want to be scared by surprise vampires? and body horror? #not me!! #i'm presuming that charles won't die in precisely the same way as in the book but. uh. #i am not expecting him to survive #i continue to be irritated by anachronistic dialogue #at one point honor says of her father 'he hasn't grieved' #aside from that being a silly way to frame grief in any period: GIRL #your father is still in a non-minimalist definition of full mourning #he is not sleeping well #he is. um. high-functioning and trying not to burden his children with his emotions (good job charles!) #but grief is the atmosphere through which this man MOVES #it absolutely affects his readiness to threaten to kill a bunch of racists (good... job... charles?) #and beat a racist up before spitting the man's own whisky into his eye (extremely sexy of him. not. um. extremely well-advised.) #this man is gaunt and pale; trembling and hollow-eyed #'he hasn't grieved'??? what else is he DOING in the long lamplit hours of his solitude? #anyway as i was saying: adrien brody. therapy. some relationship to. #my insomniac chapelwaite diaries #loa suspects her dad of having feelings for the governess. i do not #but somewhat to my disappointment (narratively) it turns out she does have feelings (of some sort??) for him #she says 'he's the most interesting story that ever walked into my life' and yeah! sad possibly-cursed possibly-insane widower sea captain! #but that does not mean you are in love with your Solitary Employer miss morgan. even if he does have devastating bone structure.

[emiliosandozsequence]

oh no no you cannot do that to me

#i FORGOT ABOUT THIS UGH GOOD GRIEF #emilio.txt #the sparrow #children of god