#they keep giving me bad news today

[h3avenish]

#they keep giving me bad news today #ans they’re saying I’m handling it so well cuz it’s not sinking in #like everyone expects me to just be in a break down right now #as if that’s gonna help anything #that’s annoying me so much right now #like i have options or something #crying a not going to fix this????? #I wish people weren’t annoying me #not right now at least #anyway #here’s an old post cuz it’s cute ans I needed a tag vent #p #nature #flower #this ain’t Snapchat art so sorry #but #ventcore #medical #tw #in the tags #personal

[chiropteracupola]

a little pain now, to save a great deal more pain later

[flintlock fortress is a collaboration with @dxppercxdxver]

#em draws stuff #flintlock fortress #team fortress 2 #blood #today on the em cupola show: wild self-indulgence. but hey I feel Bad so I'll draw what I Like. and today that's medical procedures. #someone leaned over my shoulder while I was drawing this and asked 'is that bloodletting' and they were Almost Right so I'm endlessly proud #in fact it is smallpox inoculation! #sorry to everyone who I have bothered with my Smallpox Talk in recent memory but It Will Happen Again. #the game style itself is kind of rockwell and leyendecker-y to me so I wanted to do something with a similar look to their work #had a lot of goals for this piece and I think I really did achieve all of them quite nicely #could I keep these guys recognizable without showing their full faces? yes I think so! #could I make 'getting a mild case of smallpox with the lads' seem a bit romantic even? yes to that too. #also. scout tattoos make an appearance. (do not go looking for them in any other art of him on account of I Forgor) #and a new look for ansel (this man dresses Boring but that is no fun for me to draw) #'backstory relevant' I say as I do not discuss any of these guys' backstories again. #'that's for us to know and for you to find out' I say while giving you no way at all to find out #have been in a constant state of 'by gosh having a little less blood in me would make this situation better' for several days now #and while I am using Normal methods to improve the situation drawing such things does work a bit to heal the mind #'we're doing just fine' says local guy who is madly drawing the same guys over and over again

[nulltune]

ART CREDIT! 💖 LYNN FOUND DEAD IN MIAMI OMGG my friend (irl 🫣) commissioned hakuno art 4 meee 🥺🥺😭😭😭🥹🫶🫶🙏💘💞💖💗💓💘 gajfhskfbd it's kind of a long story but PLSS SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL........ i'm so blessed so moved,,, and i wanna share real quick bc úwù🫶 and as u can see, i'm using the chibi as my dash icon now too ! ✨️but also pls do tell me if the quality is fudged up or sth 😳🙏 am not sure if it looks okie !!

#&&. out of #SNIFFLES i am being fed so well frfr 🫶🫶 #tis a bday present for me she saidd 🥺 my bday isn't anywhere near today tho!! this is actually a pretty belated present vskfbsjc #IM NOT COMPLAINING THO OFC IM ON KNEES RN ACTUALLY SOBBING SO GRATEFULY #so the story isss my friend offered to draw me sth for my bday (she planned on drawing a.yato at first bc i am Down Bad for that man🐕) #BUT I WAS LIKE 😳👉👈 well there's this oc............ #i keep my h.akuno simpery a secret okok wgfksbfkd They Do Not Know That I Am Madly In Love With A Moon Lady and write her on tunglr dot com #SO- yes i am a lying lynn who lied 🗿 #my friend ended up not being able to draw it herself tho; but she still wanted 2 give me sth #that was 'my oc' (lynn stares into the camera like in the office) so she got a commission for it egaddd 😳😳😳 #andd here we r now ! ✨️✨️ #also if u have me on d.iscord; u may notice da new icon alr 😌🫶 #IM IMPATIENT OKOK I WANTED TO PRINT AND PASTE HER EVERYWHERE LIKE #HAVE YOU SEEN HER????? well now u have :] #also my fren said she got one more c.hibi comm of her omg 😭🙏💖💞💗 IM LIKE BLESSED FR #ok i'll shut up now but i'm jst obsessed sowwy wgfjwjd #*LOUD SNIFFLE* moon wife....................

[ellivia]

…

#I have some very very bad news to give to my husband today #and I really don’t know how to tell him #I want to wait until he gets home from work because I don’t want him to have to go through his day with it #but it’s weighing heavily on me to be keeping it from him until then #I mean aside from the news itself (someone we knew very well died) #it kinda has me on autopilot today #I’m sorry I know this isn’t facebook but I had to tell somebody and y’all are it

[apollos-olives]

i'm tired of being treated like my existence is a debate

#my history mentor pulls me out into the hall every once in a while and asks me how i'm doing #and every time i just have more and more bad news to tell him while trying not to burst into tears #and today i told him exactly these words above ^^^ and he agreed #but anyway he's white and neutral so i genuinely don't give a fuck about his opinion bc he's uneducated as fuck #and he addresses this topic like it's a fucking debate too #like #i didn't fucking ask to be born this way. no one asks to be born the way they are #god we're literally defining what racism is because apparently some people don't even know the definition atp #i hate it here. i genuinely don't know how i'm able to keep going every day #and i have it 1000x better than most people. isn't that fucking ridiculous

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out. #but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned. #put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai. #he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course! #*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter* #*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end* #war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

[d3l3t3d-deactivated]

meow

#realized/had an epiphany today that so many of the traits my abusers have condemned me for are the same traits that my friends and family #love about me #im weird and funny and slightly insane #i will threaten to reanimate steve jobs so that i can kill him again and yell at cars driving in the bus lane #i will burn my breakfast and give a dollar to a person on the street and yell PENIS PENIS GOD FUCKING DAMNIT when i stub my toe #i will cover myself in fake blood from target and pretend to be a serial killer to and EDM song because i think it’s funny #i will quote webshows me and 5 other people have seen and i don’t care that you don’t wanna watch it with me #i will interupt people by mistake because im excited to talk to them and you won’t be there to yell at me #i will buy the expensive treat for myself because you aren’t there to steal it from me #i will watch that horror movie and play thay horror game because you arent there to say im gross and depressing for liking it #i will make a fucked up meal with microwave rice and canned beans because you arent there to tell me im a terrible cook #i will fuck around with my makeup because you arent there to tell me i’m bad at makeup #i will thrift for crazy costumes and style crazy wigs because you arent around to steal them from me #i will make new friends because you arent there to tell me you don’t like them so i shouldn’t hang around them #i will keep leading with kindness and not shit talk people i don’t even know just because they give you ‘a vibe’ #don’y you dare ever take away my claws and clip my wings again im a weird monsterman and i like it that way

[i-bring-crack]

I did not asked to receive emotional damage from s

Solo Leveling Ragnarok thank you very much.

Spoilers in the tags.

#Like how could they do thsi to me #ALL the other shadows were freaking normal in solo leveling #Igris Beru Tank Kaisel— yeah like literally they were wither beast of bad people like Iron #but no Suho this boy #i tell you if this brat knew KNEW who he was bringing back to like I-jabskan #first shadow soldiers that he gets are the goblins which #im freaking sad to know that shadow soldiers can expirience pain yet still cant go against the orders of their master #how do i keep on living with this information!??!?!?! Its not like they even explore it or something #they just give it to me and im supposed to be okay for this!??!?! MENTALLY?!?!? #and then there is the first shadow soldier he saves which is like Lee Minsung– Quay– number one wanted villain #i liked his arc but damn did this guy fuk up and then ad a shaodw he decided to reedem himself and now im just like... bro that got me #i was not expecting a bee to have emotions today #not when you stebbed your best friend literally and also you almost got turned into a worker by Queen Bee #like now i really like you as a shadow but damn. i didnt expect sympathy from you. #and then there is Kang tae shik as the new shaodw and im just like absolutely bawling he DID NOT need to die that freaking quickly #i liked the guy. pre rewind and now as a villain bounty hunter this guy was just a freaking gold star among the poor characters in SL #and poorer villains in SL. he was cool. he was fun to read about. -slams table- How the F u c k am i supposed to function after this man #just suddenly dropped us with the most tragic backstory. like bitch i even forgive your ass bc your ass was fine in killing your dad. #legit didnt kill anyone else u til woo jin chul told him so. and now im just thinking pre the rewinf timeline the only reason kang tae shi #wasnt stopped by jin chul was probably bc jin chul let him kill those criminals #woo jin chul became so much brutal in this series i swear #like i love him so much for it but damn #still sexy smexy somehow #but damn

[widevibratobitch]

.

#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333 #sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy #both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol #and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol #am i jealous? fuck yeah i am. #and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like. #when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig #but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee #but yknow. dont give up uwu' #and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her #and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend #but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt #*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should #and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson #and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3 #now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?' #also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today #and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests #im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol) #i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up #in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown. #but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair #i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant #and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice #anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7 #like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her #and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is #oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty #when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot #because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'

[marblerose-rue]

HI GUYS i am so sorry for the sudden drop in activity between allergies + college im just gonna clear off the rest of this week . i may do a big group type thing to catch up w/o giving myself too much extra work BUT i hope everyone is well!! <3

#not art #meandering #i did get a haircut today and every time i see myself in the mirror i startle myself a little bc i forget i got one AHBKJHDG #i have two exams next week . and a speech i have to give the week after and one of my classes is JUST NOW handing out assignments #OH YEAH my allergy symptoms r dealt with im normal again BAHBDJKFHGBDF when it gets bad it gets bad #this is my attempt at the fallen family guy pose without taking it too seriously #OH YEAH for a lot of you new followers: this is kaden shes my fursona of almost ten years (WELL she turns nine in november) #and i celebrate her birthday bc shes important to me shes my original meowmeow #also please keep me in your thoughts im on campus all day tomorrow and i really do not want to be i am no longer having fun/enjoying #my wednesdays . i only rlly enjoy one class on monday and its math . thats how bad it is BAHAHA no but rlly my stats prof is a sweetheart #hes very nice. he gave me an extension on a quiz i rlly didnt need but regardless :-)

[neopolitan-noir]

.

#i fucking hate myself tonight #i keep trying to not beat myself up about like...having feelings #but what happened sucks #being alone sucks #and my brain isnfighting me every second I try and just exist #i keep thinking im not WORTH being in anyones life #and i know i have people who care about me my brain is just fucking broken and it doesnt want to believe them #i don't want to feel sick to my stomach anymore when instaty having feelings #I'm so scared #i want to give up i really do #i can finally pick up my new meds today so maybe sleep and those working into my system will help #i need them to so fucking bad #i keep trying to fix myself and i keep getting reminded that its not been enough no matter how much i improve #I'd give almost anything to be normal so that maybe someone could love me without the looming BPD shaped sword of damocles hanging overhead #i feel fucking stupid for even being upset about this #but whatever #sleep then breakfast then meds then just take everything minute to minute one day at a time #i can do this #i can fucking do this

[california-112]

.

#brief rant because christ. what a life. #might delete later #anyway everything is busy but in a sucky way #deadlines are approaching and i dont understand any of the content #im one particularly bad day away from just dropping out #mac is the only thing keeping me sane and im on the penultimate season now #gotta find a job for next year but executive dysfunction is kicking my ass #reached a new low with that today ill be honest #also the weather is awful which gives me even less motivation (didnt know this was possible) #so yeah. not having the best of times #expect more mg because like i said i need my sanity #of anyone has a shred of interest in that then sound off i just wanna talk #the scientist speaks

[caged-crows]

i miss you "starting the streaaaam" i miss you "philza LOOK OUT" i miss you "chat don't lmao me" i miss you "so long, theseus" i miss you "it did not work out, i'm not going to lie" i miss you "ONE OF US ONE OF US" i miss you "okay endin' the stream now guys BYEEEEE" i miss you technoblade. so fucking much.

#{ snail speaks. #today was a i bad day + its late + i started thinking about him again #i know its been over two months since he went but i keep #expecting him to come home #he was just. such a source of warmth for me. #and idk it feel selfish to keep expecting new videos since i know he's resting now + he lives on in things like fan works + #phil's hardcore world but like. #i just want him back. he had so much left to give. so many jokes to tell. #anyway i think i'm gonna fall asleep to an smp earth vod tonight

[laomelettedufromage]

So apparently when you graduate college, you get to unlock a whole new sleuth of issues depending on what you do or happens after

#hiiiiii making tumblr my diary again<3333 #today is another bad day which I was afraid we were heading here #I think a lot of it is I just got less sleep #and it always seems to get worse on the weekends when everyone is like out partying and doing stuff yknow #anyways I used to be a very independent person who was good at keeping myself from being lonely and bored #but now I’m struggling very hard with both of those things which just feels so DUMB #but while there’s some things I can do to kinda help alleviate the boredom #there’s really nothing I can do for the loneliness at the moment which kinda sucks #and also the loneliness is definitely new #like it isn’t but me identifying it as loneliness is new #I think originally I was chalking it up to jealousy and boredom #and those two emotions are definitely still there #but I don’t think I’m giving loneliness enough credit😅 #which sucks because I’m not technically ALONE… ever #it’s just my coworker doesn’t really fill the hole yknow?? and then I also feel bad for him for that #even though I know that’s not my guilt to take on #but I know I’ve been very moody IM MOODY RIGHT NOW and it’s hard to keep that contained and so some of it gets taken out on him #which feels bad because he doesn’t deserve it AT ALL #and also I really do want to leave a good impression on these people😔 #idk man maybe after I eat I’ll like walk around or something #call one of my roommates #and then maybe start work on sewing my Jean jacket or somethin #it’s going to be a long month and my brain seems determined to make it suck😅 #personal

[be-good-to-bugs]

love my tooth getting worse and worse at the same time im waiting on an answer. like wow if the answer is bad then its just that much more devastating :) yay

#the bin #it hurts so much i just wanna pull it out :/ #i had a horrible dream about this whole situation. i keep having them. i dont wanna be stressed abt this :/ #hhh. she didnt give me an answer today so im assuiming she didnt get one yet #she said before that she should have one april first. fuckin. april fools day. tomorrow. although bc of easter today it might be the 2nd #i hope its good news. its literally all i can think about. im so screwed if its not good news. #not oy do i desperately not wanna live far away from everyone i care abaout and desperately wanna move away from someone i hate but #my teeth cant get fixed until i move. and they hurt so bad. ugh.

[exopelagic]

i will not panic abt my exams

#it will be fine actually #I’m stressed bc they’re in. a month now like a month from today and I’ll be done #but that just means I have a whole month to be making notes I can do a lot in a month #I’m going home on Friday which is stressing me out but it’s just one week I’ll go Friday and leave Saturday/Sunday #and if I can do a handful of lectures while I’m at home that’ll be a useful step no matter what #i can probably focus on like molecular ones which are easier to structure bc I just need to pull out the mechanisms #tomorrow I just gotta read up on two topics really and then I can write the dumb mock exam which I won’t be able to do at home bc its 4 hour #I hate that we have to do that especially bc it’s got shit evil questions but whatever #and I can’t feel bad abt being slow to get back into this bc im an animal with a body and it takes a while to get back into Anything #and I’m worried abt the exam yes bc of how it went last year when I was unprepared but 1) I won’t be THAT degree of unprepared this year #2) it is unlikely that i get as insanely unlucky as I did last year #fucking hell I just. don’t think I’m made for this kinda system I can’t make myself work in it #every single term of my degree so far I’ve been fighting to keep up with everything and had no time to properly prepare for the exams #and then scraped it by working off a baseline level of being good at putting ideas together quickly and strategically working last minute #on whatever will give me the best shot at getting what I need but that’s not possible in these two exams bc I have over 100 lectures to know #I can’t do 100 lectures in a month. it’s just not possible but what I can probably do is summarise some important bits for like half of them #I think I’m bad at the whole sustained effort on a big task over a long period of time #bc this is so huge that there’s no way for me to see progress or move on to anything new bc it’s just. a stack of 100 lectures to deal with #I HOPE I’m better at dealing with project next year bc i think it’ll be more task based #and like I can watch the lectures the first time round bc there’s a set thing to do and an end point #I have genuinely no idea how to approach this in a way that will be useful achievable AND get enough done within the time I have #anyway I can’t stress abt it now bc I have to go to the shop and then home to cook. so #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #luke.txt