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#even though I know that’s not my guilt to take on
bratzforchris · 2 days
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Inked Daisies (Chapter 3)
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Summary: For the past year, you've been running the flower shop that's next door to your friend, Matt's, tattoo studio. But what happens when the feelings start to get more than friendly?
Read Chapter 2 here
Pairing: Tattoo artist!Matt x floristfem!reader
Warnings: Drinking, sexual harassment and unwanted touch, protective!Matt, physical fighting/mentions of blood, suggestive comments, a few uses of y/n
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: Save me protective!Matt...protective!Matt save me. In all seriousness though, this is a tad bit different than my usual fluffy stuff, so let me know what you think!! Enjoy 💐🌸🌹🌻
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“We need to talk.”
You jumped, dropping your pink watering can in the process. You whirled around to see who the speaker was, placing a hand to your racing heart. “Nick, what the fuck? You can’t do that.”
“Where have you been all week?” Your friend asked, leaning against the brick wall of your shop as he spoke. 
“What do you…mean?” You asked carefully, picking up your watering can and continuing to water the flowers in the planter boxes on the window. “I’ve been busy, Nick,” You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”
“Oh, it’s not me I’m worried about,” he mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee. “It’s Chris. He’s acting like a mopey puppy because you haven’t been over.”
You bit your lip, feeling rather guilty about the way you’d sort of ghosted your friends. You’d been responding to their messages, of course, but you hadn’t made any move to hang out or became seemingly ‘under the weather’ when they asked. You figured it was best to just keep your distance for a few days until you wiped the memory of Matt walking in on you showering from your mind. Not to mention the way you hadn’t even been embarrassed about it. 
“I’m sorry…I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” You murmured, eyes sliding to the shop across the street subconciously. “Do you know what we should do?” You asked, still staring at the building across the street as you formulated an idea in your mind. 
“Attach you and Chris at the hip so he’ll stop fucking whining? Make you two get married?” Nick suggested, a jokingly cynical look on his face. 
“Okay, first of all, Chris is my best friend. We’re not getting married. We don’t even like each other like that.” You grumbled, finishing your task and walking towards the stained-glass door of your shop. 
Nick followed after you, stepping inside the shop as well, despite your business technically not being open for the day. Petal Perfection was an almost magical place, if you did say so yourself. You had started converting the old antique shop as soon as you’d bought the place, turning it from old and dusty to vibrant and full of life. On one wall was your register and the glass case that displayed your latest offerings and arrangements, while the other two held a variety of small trinkets and gifts, and a self-serve bouquet station where customers could pick the flowers they wanted and arrange them in their unique way. 
You started bustling around, straightening up and getting ready for the day, awaiting your employee’s arrival. Maybe it was the fact that you were consumed with guilt over how you’d treated the boys over the past few days, or maybe it was the implications about how Chris felt about you and marriage, but either way, the pale pink walls of your store felt like they were closing in on you. 
“We should surprise Chris at work tonight!” You said brightly as you wiped the glass case with a soft cloth. “Besides, I could use a night out.”
“Huh,” Nick tilted his head sideways as he looked at you, feeling like there was something off about your behavior, but not being able to place what it was. “I mean I guess, but where did that idea come from?”
“Can a girl not just want to have drinks and go dancing?” You asked him, faking a confident, happy aire. 
“God, you’re so ADHD. It’s not even funny.” 
“Says you.” 
Although Nick had been diagnosed with ADHD in childhood and you in high school, it had been a running joke between you two ever since you’d connected. Granted, your friend would always fight with people who tried to make fun of or discriminate against either of you, but that didn’t stop you from bullying each other. 
“Do you think Matt will want to come?” Nick asked, fiddling with his phone. 
At the mention of the middle triplet’s name, you froze, all memories of last Friday flooding back to you. “Uhhhh…he doesn’t really like…bars and stuff, y’know?”
If Nick seemed to catch onto your hesitation, he didn’t mention it. “You’re right. I’ll invite him anyway, though. He’s been hurled up in that shop like a fuckin’ hermit.” he said, jerking his thumb towards the street. 
Sure enough, Matt’s car was already parked outside ThreeSixty Tattoo, despite the fact that it was only just after eight in the morning and the shop didn’t open until noon. The shades were still drawn so that you couldn’t see inside the store, but you knew that he was already hard at work, prepping for a long day of tattoos and piercings. 
“You’re a good brother, Nick.” You smiled, setting up the register for the day as your first (and only) two employees filed into the shop. 
You watched as Nick bid you his goodbyes and left the shop, crossing to the smaller, painted black brick one across the street. A part of you that you couldn’t explain was glad Matt had already pulled the shades up for the day, because then you could sneak a peek at your friends every now and then before the rush for the day started. In a way, you almost hoped Matt would say yes to Nick’s offer, despite your avoidance of the triplets for the past week. Maybe if you saw him in person again, you would realize that what had happened wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe. 
✧˚ ༘ ⋆。♡˚
“I don’t see why we have to do this,” Matt grumbled as you led him and Nick through the bar, his older brother tugging his wrist. “It’s work. Chris is literally just at work.” 
“Because it’s a nice surprise!” You yelled over the thumping club music. “And it’s Friday night. Some of us like to do fun things with our weekends while we’re young, y’know?”
He knew you couldn’t see it due to the dim lighting, but Matt rolled his eyes as he was pulled through the crowd. Unlike his younger brother, Matt hated anything that had to do with bars, clubs, or party atmospheres. They were too chaotic and noisy, and drunk people were annoying. The brunette would’ve much rather sat and had a meaningful conversation with someone than go drinking. Sometimes though, when he was alone in his room at night, you were the first person that came to his mind when he wished he was someone else. Someone more outgoing, more friendly, more fun.
Like right now, for example. You were sliding in between bodies, laughing and talking as you made your way to the bar. All of the people you spoke to were complete and utter strangers, yet you talked like you’d known them your whole life, all while being completely sober. By definition, you were bubbly. Ever since Matt had known you, you’d had no trouble making friends. When he was alone, he thought about what it might be like to have that personality. People absolutely flocked to you, and to him, it was admirable. Without even noticing it, a small smile had crossed Matt’s face as he watched you, despite all the noise and the uncomfortable feeling of sweat against his skin as people continued to grind into each other. 
The three of you found seats at the bar, with you sitting in the middle and chatting animatedly while you waited for Chris to notice you. Right now, the youngest was in his zone, yelling out instructions to the trainees and bustling around with cocktail shakers in both hands. The club he worked at was one of the most popular in Los Angeles, and despite the cold January evening, tonight’s turnout was nothing short of humongous. Finally, after about fifteen minutes of waiting, Chris turned to his right, wiping sweat from his brow.
“What the fuck? What are you guys doing here?” he asked, a smile growing on his face despite the tiredness that was clearly evident. 
“We came to surprise you!” You stood up on the rungs of your chair, leaning across the bar and hugging Chris’ neck. “How’s the shift?”
“Busy as fuck. Do you know how many Manhattan’s I’ve made–” Chris was cut off when you were yanked back into your seat by Matt’s hands around your waist. 
“What was that for?” You grumbled, adjusting your tiny, leather shorts. 
“You’ll get hurt.” Matt said flatly, expression unmoving. 
“How?” You cocked your head incredulously, staring at the brunette who sat unmoving with his arms folded over his chest. 
“Yeah, Matt. How?” Chris challenged, never missing an opportunity to poke fun at one of his brothers. 
“You could fall.”
“And Chris would catch her.” Nick added in, quite enjoying the way Matt was fidgeting at the questions. 
“Would he?” Matt smirked when Chris was pulled away by another customer who was insistently ordering a margarita. “Cause it seems like he’s busy.”
“You’re no fun.” You groaned, finding yourself sliding back into the easy rhythm of friendship that you had always had with the boys. As the bass of whatever current EDM song was playing pounded in your heart, you found yourself thinking less and less about your little…encounter with Matt last week. “Come on, Nick,” You said, hopping off the stool and grabbing the oldest triplets’ hand. “Let’s dance.”
Matt watched as you and Nick were swept into the crowd. He heard Chris chatting his ear off on the side as he continued to make drinks for the people swarming the bar, but his eyes always found their way back to you. In the darkness of the club, you were like a little beacon of light. Your hips swayed to the music as you threw your head back laughing while Nick spun you around. Eventually, you started pulling other clubbers into your dance circle, and the boy found himself fighting the urge to join. He was a terrible dancer, but you made it look so effortlessly fun that he almost believed he could do it. 
“You got a crush on Y/N, man?”
Matt painstakingly pulled his eyes off of you and the dance floor, turning towards Chris, who was beating the mint leaves for a mojito, a cold yet inquisitive look on his face. “No.”
“You sure are acting like it,” the younger brunette said coolly, sweeping the ingredients into a shaker. “Watching her like a German Shepard and shit.”
Matt rolled his eyes, not even denying it as he looked back over towards the dance floor. You had drifted away from Nick by this point, not wanting to cockblock the oldest triplet who was currently chatting with a much taller guy with dreads and a septum piercing. In the nicest way possible though, Matt didn’t give a fuck about his brother. He had become attuned to your movements now, watching as you said something to some overly drunk motherfucker. 
The guy continued trying to talk to you, getting more heated as he spoke. A frown was growing on your face at his feeble attempts to get you somewhere more secluded, seemingly not understanding that you were here with your friends and wanted to be left alone. Matt told himself that he just wanted to keep an eye on you for your safety. He didn’t care who you did or didn’t talk to. You were just one of his friends, and he wanted you to be safe. The brunette halfheartedly  listened to Chris rattle off random nonsense while he bustled around the bar, but when the awful idiot placed an unwanted hand on your ass, Matt was up and across the club in three quick strides. 
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Matt asked roughly, yanking the guy’s arm off of you. 
“Chill, dude,” the guy slurred drunkenly, trying to wrest free from Matt’s grip. “She said she was single.”
“She’s not,” he lied easily, tightening his ironclad grip on the man’s arm. “And even if she was, that doesn’t give you a right to touch her without her permission.” 
“Matt…” You said tentatively, not wanting this to escalate. “It’s fine, okay? Let’s just go.”
Your friend wasn’t hearing you as he grabbed the guy by the collar of his shirt, lifting him so that he was inches away from his own face. “Get the fuck out of here. Don’t touch her, don’t talk to her, don’t even fucking look at her. Got it?”
“Oh I’ll get out of here,” the guy sneered, alcohol hot on his breath. It was clear that in his drunken stupor he didn’t realize Matt was deadly serious. “And take that little pornstar body with me. I’ll fuck that bitch ‘til she can’t walk and make you watch. How about that, pretty boy?”
It all happened so fast. One second, the guy was taunting Matt, and the next, the brunette’s ring-clad knuckles had collided with his jaw. Matt continued to go at it on the guy’s face, landing blow after blow as clubbers yelped and yelled. Before any of you knew it, Chris had come from around the bar, pulling Matt back and making him drop the guy. Both men were still yelling, one clearly more drunk than the other as Chris pushed Matt into a corner. 
“Matt. You need to chill.” the youngest triplet yelled over the music, assessing Matt’s bloody nose and already bruising eye and jaw where the man had hit back. 
“He fucking grabbed Y/N’s ass!” Matt yelled, struggling against Chris’ hold. 
“Matt,” Chris said firmly, pinning his brother to the wall. “No fighting. He shouldn’t have touched her, but you can’t get physical, man.”
In the chaos and confusion, Nick had swept you up and out of the club. Matt didn’t know this, though. All he knew was that some guy, some motherfucker, had touched you against your will, and he was going to pay for that. Whether or not you were his girlfriend, he was going to protect you until his very last breath. 
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tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy
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stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 · 2 days
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RICH KIDS OF SK ( HYUNJIN X READER (Y/N) X BANG CHAN)
"the truth"
part one part two, part three part 5
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Hyunjin's POV: she was dying inside that no one texted her after he uploaded a picture of him and Yeji, but when the notification popped up that Y/N wrote she is happy and called both Yeji and Hyunjin her best friend, he got anxious and didn't know what to do. When Hyunjin saw Y/N again, getting on first day of college, it sort of did something to his heart. He realized he missed her, and it was the first time he didn't talk to her for this long; he felt desperate. He wanted her and the group back, but Y/N was not alone; she was with a guy. And when he realized she was sitting with them, he was taken aback. Hyunjin was born into a family where traditions and reputation were above anything. Hyunjin was taught that since he was born in a rich family, his friends should always match his wealth or should be richer than him. Watching Y/N hang out with a bunch of nobodies irritated him. Later, when he saw Y/N in the pink gown at his father's art gallery event, he couldn't take his eyes off her and thought, "What is happening to me?" Hyunjin felt that this was the first time Y/N didn't come behind him or gave a damn about him, so Hyunjin started to feel attracted towards her. He was pissed when he realized Y/N skipped his party for those nobodies, and all the friend group did that too. He wanted to talk to everyone and make Yeji a part of the group again. Seeing those nobodies and the gang together made Hyunjin mad. And he texted in the group.
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Hyunjin arrived at Y/N's place 15 minutes later, his hair still damp from the shower, emitting a subtle fragrance of roses that made Y/N momentarily forget her annoyance. She greeted him with a casual offer of water, but he cut straight to the chase.
"Why the cold shoulder?" Hyunjin's voice was laced with frustration, his eyes searching hers for answers.
Y/N's irritation flared up as she replied, "Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
Hyunjin's expression softened as he guessed, "Because of Yeji?"
"I don't have romantic feelings for you anymore, Hyunjin," Y/N declared, her voice firm. "You distanced yourself from the whole group and started going out with random girls. Then you didn't even come to Changbin's campaign. I thought you were in Korea for the dance academy, but when I saw your Instagram, I understood why you didn't come to the campaign. Whatever happened in school, I thought that was over. You were fine with it, but you changed after Yeji came back from America. Do you think what happened back then was my fault?"
Hyunjin's voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his gaze fixed on Y/N, searching for understanding. "I didn't date anyone," he began, his tone earnest. "When Yeji left, she tried to contact me, but I told her I didn't want to. After a year, she sent me a letter explaining her part. Even though she was wrong here, she apologized, and I spent the entire year just talking to her."
A pang of guilt flashed across Hyunjin's face, his eyes reflecting the turmoil within. "I just told you that I am dating other girls, but I was actually just talking to Yeji," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "When she came back, I realized that I like Yeji, and I distanced myself from you guys because I was guilty." Each word hung heavy in the air, laden with remorse and the weight of unspoken emotions.
Hyunjin's heart sank as he watched Y/N's numb expression, a veil of pain masking her features. He pleaded desperately, "Hey, talk to me, please. I'm sorry, Y/N. I know she did you dirty, but please, Y/N, at least talk to her once."
Y/N maintained her composure, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging within. "Hyunjin, it's fine," she replied softly. "I don't think I feel like discussing this issue anymore. I need some space from you and Yeji."
Hyunjin's plea hung in the air, a desperate attempt to bridge the growing chasm between them. "Y/N, take as much time as you want, but please, do the project with me and Yeji," he implored.
Y/N's anger simmered beneath the surface, her frustration palpable. "Shut up, Hyunjin," she snapped, her tone cutting. "Are you being for real now?"
Hyunjin recoiled, his words faltering as he struggled to find the right response. "Sorry, I just... um, nevermind," he muttered, his gaze falling. hyunjin said: i miss you.
But Y/N remained resolute, her need for space unwavering. "I miss you too, Hyunjin, but I need space from all this drama. I'm done with it," she declared firmly. "I really need friends outside of our group, so please, let me have my space."
The weight of Y/N's words settled over them, a somber reminder of the rift that had formed between them. Hyunjin nodded solemnly, his heart heavy with regret. "As you wish, Y/N. I just want our old group again," he murmured.
Y/N's expression softened, a glimmer of understanding in her eyes. "Don't worry, I won't ruin our group because of Yeji," she assured him. "See you later, Hyunjin. Bye."
Wooyoung emerged from his hiding spot behind the door, a concerned expression etched across his features. "Hey, do you want to discuss?" he asked gently as Y/N returned to the living room.
Y/N shook her head, her resolve unwavering. "Nope, I just don't wanna talk about this topic. Can you tell this to Changbin and Felix too?" she requested, her voice tinged with exhaustion.
A small smile played on Wooyoung's lips as he nodded in understanding. "Okay, love," he said softly, pressing a kiss to Y/N's cheek.
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taglist: @lee-knows-cats @midsoulz
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salternateunreality2 · 21 hours
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Time Travel AGSZC AU (AKA 2-for-1 whump hammer on Sefikura) - Opening
from the @strayheartless archives <3
Sephiroth and Cloud are fighting and jump into the past, but doing so knocks Jenova’s hold loose on both of them, and reduces Cloud's enhancements, so now they're in the middle of the desert outside of Midgar, Cloud is dying of injuries because his healing factor is gone, and Sephiroth is a mess of guilt and horror at what he's done.
Their sudden appearance is noticed by the Turks, who fly out with Genesis and Zack to see what's up. They see their lovers, Cloud a bloody heap, surrounded by Tsurugi's pieces, Sephiroth on his knees casting healing spell after healing spell, completely disheveled and unresponsive.
Zack: SEPH?! What- CLOUD?!?! GENESIS!!! 
Genesis dives in immediately, shoving Sephiroth aside when he realizes he's just casting wildly. Sephiroth slumps, his arms barely supporting his torso, hair a wild mess around him as he stares at the ground with unfocused eyes, heedless of his own (albeit minor) wounds. Zack runs up with Genesis and tries to get Sephiroth to make eye contact. Nothing's getting through to him though, so Zack just works on healing Sephiroth's wounds. 
Genesis is concentrating hard. Eventually, he gets Cloud close enough to stable and starts yelling at the Turks to help. Under his direction, Reno, Rude, and Zack finish what they can on Cloud, wrap him up, and strap him to a stretcher.
Genesis: Sephiroth. I don't know what's going on, but you are going to listen to me and you are going to get up and get in that helicopter. Now. 
Sephiroth drags himself up, Zack supporting him, and they get on while Reno and Rude secure Cloud. He can't look at any of them. He can't think. He can barely breathe. He feels their questions, but he can't make sense of the words. Following orders is the best he can do. 
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—--
Hojo is at the landing pad when they touch down, hearing that Sephiroth might be injured and unresponsive. Cloud is removed first, Zack and Reno running alongside his stretcher, giving the medical team an update. 
Genesis: Sephir- 
Hojo: Sephiroth! Come ou- GURK! 
Sephiroth is securely strapped into a helicopter seat one second, and the next, his hand is crushing Hojo's throat, lifting him off the ground, Masamune through his gut. Then in the next second, before even Genesis can do anything, Hojo is on fire and hurtling over the edge of the building, his screams only croaks through his crushed windpipe. Everyone stands in silence, mouths agape, when suddenly, Sephiroth jumps after him. 
Genesis: SHIT. Call Hewley and a lockdown! 
Rude nods and calls it in, and Genesis starts making his way down the side of the building only a little more safely than Sephiroth did.
What he finds at the bottom is horrifying; a smoldering mess of deformed humanoid sludge with a sword through it, and Sephiroth with broken legs from his landing, leaning on the sword, glaring at the mutated sludge. No civilians are hurt, and fortunately, everyone is standing back. 
Genesis: Sephiroth? 
No response. 
Genesis: Sephiroth, you're hurt. 
Nothing. 
Genesis: Sephiroth, I'm walking to you now. I'm going to put my arm around you, and you will come with me calmly. Mission complete. Do you understand? 
Nothing. Then, a slight nod and grunt. 
Genesis carefully grabs him around the waist, forcing Sephiroth to lean on him while lifting his entire body with one arm. Genesis barks at the onlooking SOLDIERs, Turks, and infantrymen to "clean that up" and "get that door open" as he takes Sephiroth in through a side entrance, then to a service elevator. Angeal runs up as they're waiting for the elevator. 
Genesis: Angeal, take his other side, we're going to the SOLDIER clinic. 
Angeal: *nods and obeys, trusting Genesis implicitly*
They reset Sephiroth's bones so they heal correctly, and he doesn't make a sound. That's normal for him, sure, but not even a huff or a hitch of breath comes out during the whole process, which would have a normal man screaming.
He can't look at them. It hurts too much. The betrayal is too much. How he hurt them is too much. What he did to Cloud and Zack... Sephiroth stays in his shell.
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Meanwhile, Zack is pacing as the medics work on Cloud. He's ready to jump in at any second if they ask; his magic power is strong as a SOLDIER, though he's not as talented of a mage as Cloud, Genesis, or Sephiroth. Then Cloud starts seizing.
There's not much they can do, just keep him on the gurney, protect his IVs, and tilt him on his side to prevent choking. But it calms down eventually, and they get back to work.
Finally, Cloud is wrapped like a mummy, blood in one IV, medicine in another. They try a mako drip since his file says he is enhanced, but it makes the seizures start up again, so they turn it off. Zack is left alone with Cloud, watching his breath fog up his oxygen mask, holding his hand, shaking and crying quietly.
Then Zack gets a call. From Cloud.
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canonbibuckley · 2 days
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this is part 1 of my catholic guilt eddie/buddie wip! (working title) i've previously posted small snippets here and here, but this one today is the opening scene!
At the end of the night, after Tommy swoops in and saves the day, delivering Chimney to the altar by chopper, after the vows and kisses are exchanged, after people have eaten and danced and drank and celebrated—
At the end of the night, Eddie finds Buck. 
He’s standing alone at the edge of the garden, watching people dance. The party is starting to break up, the crowd thinning out. There’s something wistful and sad in Buck’s expression, and Eddie finds himself walking over to him before he even thinks about it. 
“Where’s Tommy?”
The man had been here earlier. After the heroics, he had stayed for a while. Eddie had watched as he and Buck danced together without meaning to, drawn to the two of them slow dancing to the band Maddie hired. Eddie had caught Buck’s eye over Tommy’s shoulder and lifted his glass in a toast. Buck’s nose had crinkled in disgust. How are you drinking right now? he seemed to ask, which made Eddie’s stomach roll in turn, his hangover roaring back to life. He shook his head and pointed to the gatorade bottle on a nearby table. Eddie watched as Buck’s mouth went crooked like it did when he was trying not to laugh.
Tommy had glanced over his shoulder, then. There was something in his gaze when he made eye contact with Eddie, something calculating that had Eddie looking away. 
He didn’t know what to do with the flush of embarrassment he felt. Like he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. He left them to it, slinking away to where Marisol was waiting for him inside.
Now, though, he’s standing with Buck alone.
“Tommy left.”
“He had to return the chopper, huh?” Eddie tries to joke, but Buck doesn’t react. 
“He said…” He watches as Buck takes a deep breath. “Tommy and I—It’s not going to work out.”
Eddie doesn’t know what to do with that. “What? I thought you said the second date went well.”
“It did.”
“And then Tommy flew in here, delivering Chimney to save the day. I thought you’d be into all that knight in shining armor schtick.”
“I was. Am.”
“So?”
“It’s just… not going to work.”
“That sucks, I’m sorry man,” he says lamely. “I’d offer you a drink, but.” Buck doesn’t laugh. “Do you want to come over later?”
“I probably shouldn’t,” Buck says, and there’s — something in it that Eddie can’t identify. 
“Maybe this weekend, then.”
“Listen,” Buck runs a hand through his hair. Eddie resists the urge to smooth it back down when it sticks up. “Tommy said something before he left, and I—I think he might be right.” There’s a pinched quirk to his lip. “He said that it wasn’t going to work out between us because it’s obvious I’m caught up in my feelings for someone else.”
There’s a whisper of a thought in the back of Eddie’s mind that fills him with dread; he refuses to think it. “Who, Natalia?”
“No.”
“Taylor, then.” It made the most sense, it had been Buck’s longest relationship. The sting of their breakup had lingered. Her betrayal of Buck’s trust had hurt them all, and even if Eddie never liked her, it’s obvious that Buck loved her. Even though the thought of her coming back into their lives made him want to vomit.
But Buck — Buck looks at him with this look in his eye, and he’s not, not sad but more regretful. He’s anxious. Eddie is suddenly, painfully aware that he doesn’t want to hear what Buck’s next words are.
Because he knows what Buck is going to say. He’s going to say it, he’s going to name the thing Eddie’s been so carefully avoiding. Their relationship has been a minefield for years, and Eddie has gotten extremely good at picking his next move carefully, but Buck is about to throw caution to the wind and take a daring step forward without watching where he places his feet.
He’s filled with so much dread in an instant, but he’s helpless to stop Buck as he’s opening his mouth to say:
“Eddie, I think I’m in love with you.”
Buck says the words, and nothing changes.
Everything changes, really, everything that matters anyway, but — it’s not the explosion of movement Eddie is expecting. It’s like the earth stands still. The party sounds fade to nothing, the twinkling lights frozen in time. Nothing moves. There’s no wind, no insects buzzing, nothing at all. 
It feels monumental, like something should be shifting. Everything should be thundering with the weight of this moment, but. Nothing. It’s like a hush has fallen instead, the world taking a pause to watch them, waiting to see what happens next, and Eddie—
Eddie takes a step back.
He doesn’t know what Buck’s expression does because he very stoutly doesn't look at him. 
“Eddie,” Buck says, but Eddie is already shaking his head and taking another step. 
“I have to, um,” he doesn’t even come up with an excuse before he’s turning his back to Buck and walking away.
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deluweil · 1 day
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Here's the thing, I have nothing against Lou/Tommy, but the accessive enthusiasm of him returning and everyone already talking about him showing up for next season,
Which if any of you watched for the last 7 seasons, it is very possible because writers love to drag temps over to the next seasons because apparently breakups are for season beginners, mostly (except for taylor),
is very off-putting.
1. Because the dude literally just showed up and they haven't even had one worthy make out session to even call it a situationship.
2. Buck hurt Eddie physically to get into Tommy's mouth and pants, which ruined it for me from the start tbh and Tommy had nothing to do with it, he was just there.
3. Buck has made Maddie's day, his coming out party - that is a big NO in my book. Because one, dude you literally came out, what if you decide eventually that you don't want this or don't want this with this specific first-guy-ever anymore? And two SHE IS YOUR SISTER THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HAVE HER LEAVE ON HER HONEYMOON BEFORE YOU KILL YOUR PARENTS OF A HEART- ATTACK.
Even if they "seem accepting" to Buck’s face, this takes time to process, something better revealed in time and in private, once one is sure. Not thinking and talking about this the whole wedding!
And yes, I know, Buck is impulsive, but think for a second, would you want your baby brother to hijacke your wedding after so long of planning it? I know I would have killed him.
Would have told him in advance that if he's bringing his new boyfriend to my wedding, he better tell our parents first. Because this is my fucking day!
I love Buck, but his self-centered personality rubs me the wrong way this season.
Maybe because I wanted to see him growing the fuck up after 7 years and so many traumas and experiences and therapy that he went through, but nope, same old Buck, only instead of the dating the girl who gave him attention, he's seeing the guy who gave him attention.
It's annoying, it's off putting and frankly I am so mad at the writers and Tim for this because these characters deserved better.
And don't talk to me about representation because Shonda did the bi representation in Station 19 perfectly to the point that I was bummed that Travis and Eli didn't end up as endgame even though I loved Emmett with Travis.
Again somehow the 911 writers managed to taint for me what should have been and amazing experience, independent completely of buddie, but no they managed to not only mix Eddie and Buck with Tommy, the whole thing came at the expense of Eddie, physically and mentally, because not only did Buck not apologized to Eddie, Eddie also lost his new friend who now fawns over Buck.
So screw this storyline, I hate it and I hate how everyone is OK with everything that happened in the story, just because Buck is doing a dude(kissing really, there was no doing yet).
There's a lot of blocking in my future, most are just ppl who either came in now because of bi Buck or those who came from other disappointing fandoms and are just here for the rep not the actual story.
But some of us have been here since S1, we want the rep, but we want it to be complimenting, we want to fall in love with the character before it turns into a LI, we want the emotion, the connection, the obvious love building over several years.
Like Casey and Gabby and Severide and Stella, like Maya and Carina, like Travis and Emmett (even though I liked Eli better for him) like Sullivan and Natasha.
I want an emotional payout, give up the surprises, and the wrecked trucks and ships, just tell a good story!
And for the love of all that's holy, enough with the last-minute changes, those never turn out well in the long run. They literally started from scratch when they made the switch between Eddie and Buck.
Also in my opinion, Eddie had a LOT more chemistry with Lou/Tommy than Buck. It would have made so much more sense, in the catholic guilt and internal homophobia department, the nun and supposedly commitment issues was weak at best.
It could have been epic. 😩
And yes, Buck could have started the season single, no harm in that, maybe make him, I don't know, actually growing into something that he would like without someone else to pet his ego? Go back to therapy, work for the LT. exams, be interim captain, realize his worth and learn to love himself for him, not because someone else gave him attention and that made him preen, get him somewhere worthy. Even lessons with Tommy without involving Eddie in this would have been great.
Just something that shows character development, because up until now all I get is S2/S3 Buck and I've seen that movie before, I want my money back.
I realize this is harsh, and normally, I would stick to the light and fun and ignore the rest, but this had to be said out loud so I can go back to that.
That being said, as I said, I will watch Madney wedding purely for Madney. Anything else is just a bonus. I can't wait for that bachelor party and see wth happens to Chimney.
Happy Monday, my loves. ❤️
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laomelettedufromage · 2 years
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So apparently when you graduate college, you get to unlock a whole new sleuth of issues depending on what you do or happens after
#hiiiiii making tumblr my diary again<3333#today is another bad day which I was afraid we were heading here#I think a lot of it is I just got less sleep#and it always seems to get worse on the weekends when everyone is like out partying and doing stuff yknow#anyways I used to be a very independent person who was good at keeping myself from being lonely and bored#but now I’m struggling very hard with both of those things which just feels so DUMB#but while there’s some things I can do to kinda help alleviate the boredom#there’s really nothing I can do for the loneliness at the moment which kinda sucks#and also the loneliness is definitely new#like it isn’t but me identifying it as loneliness is new#I think originally I was chalking it up to jealousy and boredom#and those two emotions are definitely still there#but I don’t think I’m giving loneliness enough credit😅#which sucks because I’m not technically ALONE… ever#it’s just my coworker doesn’t really fill the hole yknow?? and then I also feel bad for him for that#even though I know that’s not my guilt to take on#but I know I’ve been very moody IM MOODY RIGHT NOW and it’s hard to keep that contained and so some of it gets taken out on him#which feels bad because he doesn’t deserve it AT ALL#and also I really do want to leave a good impression on these people😔#idk man maybe after I eat I’ll like walk around or something#call one of my roommates#and then maybe start work on sewing my Jean jacket or somethin#it’s going to be a long month and my brain seems determined to make it suck😅#personal
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shannonsketches · 27 days
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#silly hours#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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mildmayfoxe · 2 months
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
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jopzer · 5 months
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sorry i thought about what they did to roy kent in season three of ted lasso and now i have to lie down for a week
#beebles#ted lasso#roy kent#take this as positive or negative im not your mom#but. my god#what if in the final season of our show we took one of the most beloved characters and we took all the development we'd given him over#three seasons and we fucked it and we didnt make it better#even though we keep reminding you every two episodes that he's critically insecure and he's incredibly guilt ridden and he's been doing#everything in his power to be better#backsliding is fine. i love a good backslide. bitches should be backsliding more often#but to put him on that path in the final season of your series and then not resolve it#like. one of the last things we see him do that isnt like. debatably a dream sequence.#is beat the fuck out of his friend who hes spent two seasons making and then demean the fuck out of his exgirlfriend who he wanted to marry#in the Last Episode.#of the whole show.#again i love a good backslide but what in god's name was THAAAAT!!!!!#we know roy's a violent guy we know he struggles with emotional intelligence we've seen all this happen#but to fuck up all the progress he's made and then not resolve it in any way by the time the show ended. ugh#truly feels like they spat in roy's face by the end of the show#like roy's trying to be better for keeley and he ends up being better for himself and then he ends up fucking everything up. Again.#at the very end of the show. what was the reason.#he's fighting with himself for the whole season and then its over. embarrassing really#he's got bright shining moments where that development does shine through but most of it is just painful to watch.#silly. silly shit.
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suncaptor · 6 months
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also me being so incapable of telling romantic and platonic feelings apart is so silly to me now. they're literally just the same things except with different consistencies of the sparkly and fixatednesses.
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monkey-d-ezekiel · 13 days
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personal
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box-of-sims · 1 year
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My sweet baby 💜 I miss her so much 😢💔
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pepprs · 7 months
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doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse
#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs#the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s#not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need#without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do#it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my#needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to#escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no#one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and#frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later#like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an#independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im#stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i#just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be#right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol
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keeps-ache · 3 days
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DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D
#just me hi#i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv#cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy#i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :>#i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol#character customization Truly#//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh#these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3#these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33#//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D#yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of#the Fun :DD#been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe#in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times#/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of#trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset.#and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing#that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf#/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude#i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh#they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times#there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs#like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil#funny hfbvs)#//OH i've gtg now lol --#ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D
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southerngothicaf · 2 months
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Apparently my anxiety about cooking is literally so bad that I would actually rather starve than try to cook so that's cool to discover
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pleasetakethis · 10 months
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I know this is ridiculous but--
When I decided I was going to start writing because, damn it, life is short and I want to write fic, I logged into AO3 and realized I had old comments without replies. I’m a completionist, I want to reply to comments, but I have to sit down and make myself reply to everything at once. I struggled a bit because 2013-14 to 2021 is a long time...
...and I got stuck. Plus healthy doses of anxiety and imposter’s syndrome, typical writerly stuff. I’ve written more fic since but I can’t reply to new comments until I sit down and reply to all of the comments because each one is just as important to me, even the ones from 2013 (I’m not sure why I never replied to those, either--did I have email notifs turned off? maybe? idk, I had my third kid in 2012, had my first seizure sometime between then and my MS diagnosis in 2014, so maybe it was Real Life distractions?).
If you have left me a comment, I appreciate it and you, thank you so much for taking the time to read my fic and leave love. It means the world to me. I promise I’m not ignoring comments or questions, I feel immense guilt over not making the time to reply rightthissecond but my brain refuses to cooperate until the timing is perfect. Eventually I’ll answer them, but even at 38 I freeze up sometimes and get in my own head and -gestures vaguely at everything- you know. I go on vacation in November, I’m going to knock them all out while I’m sitting on the beach if I haven’t replied by then (yep, my family does November beach vacations to the NC coast and I love them).
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