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beautiful-is-boring · 2 years

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Through the phone

Gojo satoru x Fem!Reader (she/her) | Fluff, very minimal angst if you squint, JJK MANGA SPOILERS

Summary: Gojo, your crush, rambles on and on about you, unaware that you're listening.

writing this was an impulsive decision so if this ends up being bad or cringe or if i make gojo ooc on accident im so sorry lol

"SHOKO IERI" Gojo's loud and booming voice startled his friend who was speaking to someone on the phone, causing her to yelp.

"hold on dear gimme a moment" she said to the person on the other side "satoru what the fuck?"

"I have so much to tell you about y/n!" he said to her with gleaming eyes that were covered by his blindfold, but shoko could easily tell he had heart eyes, since the topic was about you, his crush.

"not now! can't you see im talking to someone?"

"no. I will stay here and say whatever I want, and you will listen, and if that person wants they can listen too because y/n is just one of a kind okay? They also need to know about how cool she is!"

Shoko smirked to herself. Gojo would ramble on about you, and sometimes, he would sit quiet thinking of you; but he never made a move. You didn't either. Both of you were shy, stupid, dumbfucks who were afraid of rejection and attachment, even though you both wanted each other (her words, not mine)

She could have cut the call, but she didn't. She had a trick up her sleeve. It was you on the other end after all; and her long time friend didn't know that.

"go on ;)"

"so..." satoru began "i cannot stress this enough, and i know i said this loads of times before, but her smile is EVERYTHING. And her laugh? HEAVENLY. She could smile and giggle and boom! depression doesn't exist anymore! And everytime she smiles at me or I make her laugh I can feel myself BLUSHING and going RED but obviously she can't know that so I laugh it off saying its the heat, and I am so glad it is summer right now because that girl is really smart. Her brain is so hot. But she's dumb and oblivious a lot of times and its hilariously cute."

'Her smile is everything.' 'I can feel myself blushing.' 'Her brain is hot.' What the fuck? You could hear everything he was saying to shoko through your phone. Blushing profusely, your eyes widened automatically. This was Gojo, your crush, and an egoistical bastard. He would never admit any of the things he was unapologetically saying at the very moment. You knew your feelings were reciprocated yet you continued to listen to know what he actually thought of you.

"Like- she's so pretty its illegal." He continued gushing on about you while Shoko silently snickered to her self and you froze completely.

"Honestly? She's so badass and doesn't give a shit about anything else but she's so caring. I saw her help this small kid in the park whose balloon was stuck on a tree and she helped him get the balloon back, and I instantly fell in love. You already know sweet she is with the students, they love her! AND SHE MAKES SPECIAL CHOCOLATES FOR ME! How cool is that! She..." his voice quietened down a bit "she makes me feel special shoko. She makes me feel loved. She cares about me a lot. Its just a different kind of feeling. But im scared, I don't want to lose her. You-you know what happened to getou- i cant-"

He took in a heavy breath and paused for a second "I dont want to lose her in any way. What if they target her because of me? I know she's so damn strong, nothing can touch her. But that 1% still remains. Or what if she doesn't reciprocate my feelings? Her and I are close friends and i don't want to lose that too. And on top of that I am busy and I am a hard guy to be with."

"well, what do you want to do?" Shoko asked him with a softer smile.

"I..I think i'm gonna stop. She deserves better if im being honest. She needs someone who can pamper her and give her time. I am done-"

"Satoru?"

Your shaky voice could be heard from shoko's phone.

Gojo froze and everything around him went quiet. You. It was you, the one only y/n, on the phone. The one he was in love with. The one he just rambled on and on about to his friend, and you heard every single word. He could feel his mind go hay-wire. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole from the embarrassment. He wanted to go to some foreign country, dig a hole, crawl in it and die. He felt vulnerable, panicked and so much more.

"Satoru? Are you still there?" your voice broke the silence, drawing his attention to you.

He decided to get it over with.

"heyyyy y-y/n? hehe listen don-don't worry about it i-i was just joking- i mean i was n-not- but you don-t have to take me seriously like i-i respect your feelings and if you don't return them t-that is okay but please lets still be friends but i was hoping for-"

"Satoru...please, tell me the truth. Please tell me you're not joking."

With a heavy sigh, he spoke into shoko's phone. "Y/n, I like you. 'I am in love with you' would be a better choice of words, but I don't want to be awkward, it feels as if I'm going too fast. Look, its okay if you don't like me back, and I completely get it; but I have hidden my feelings for a really long time now, and I just wanna say that I will always be by your side, protecting you, supporting you, being the bestfriend that you need during hard times."

"Why do I need you as my bestfriend to support me when you can do the same while being my boyfriend?"

w h a t

Gojo satoru's eyes widened and his mouth hung open. What the hell did you just say to him? "...what? y-y/n what are you saying?"

"I..I wanted to confess my feelings for you for so damn long but I was scared to lose you. I think we both were." you giggled softly and gojo could feel his heart swell. "Satoru, I like you too. I like you so so so much."

"I can't believe it!" he whispered.

"I'm in my office room. Meet me now." That was all you said before you hung up. Gojo could hear the nervousness from your voice, while keeping in mind that he was very nervous too, and he probably gave it away because of his stuttering at the start. He felt butterflies in his stomach, partly from his nervousness and partly from the happiness he felt from receiving your confession.

He looked at shoko with shocked eyes.

"Don't be a wimp and just go to her." Shoko responded to his look, and smiled. "You'll be fine."

Gojo took a deep breath in, then out, and then teleported himself to your office.

His eyes fell on you the moment he stepped foot in that room. You were seated on a big couch that you owned, looking ethereal as ever in the golden rays of the sun that entered into the room through your open windows. Gojo couldn't help but blush at how beautiful you looked, even while being so nervous, and he could feel his heart do a backflip when you gave him a soft smile with a small "hi".

"hi." he replied back, not knowing what to say. His awkward stance was adorable.

"you look really cute when you're flustered." Your compliment made him smile as you both walked towards each other. It was not normal for THE Gojo satoru to be this soft, this flustered, the reason being a person.

"and you, my darling, you...look absolutely adorable when you smile." you both chuckled lightly as he booped your nose with his finger, drinking in the sight of you smiling. "...is it too early to call you darling-?"

"no no it isn't!...I like it." It was your turn to blush now. "What nickname do I use for you?" You tiptoed and wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his arms go around your waist, gazing into his ocean like eyes twinkling behind the glasses.

"Anything. What do you want to call me?"

"'Toru'. How does that sound?"

"Don't ever call me anything other than that." was all he said before he leaned down and softly placed his lips over yours, feeling a different kind of happiness for the first time in forever.

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Taglist: @narcwhore @bollywoodgrandma @vampire-rat-bastard @levis-hazelnut

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shinneth · 5 months

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The Sailor Moon AU born from my saltiness towards the manga

Read this for context. tl;dr: basically my love for Sailor Moon's 90s anime and 2003 tokusatsu has only grown over the years, while my feelings for Crystal remained at pure hatred whilst my feelings for the original manga has taken a sharp decrease.

In other words, I seem to work backwards from most other Sailor Moon fans.

Over a year ago, I had written out a hypothetical of how Sailor Moon's manga would play out if Naoko Takeuchi rejected the Super Sentai concept and made Usagi a (mostly) solo hero, sort of in the vein of Sailor V but much less fun with even more tragedy. I guess you could say it's a Sailor Moon but with more of a Kamen Rider motif?

Either way, I never released it anywhere until now. Mind you, it's not really a story so much as it is a gathering of ideas for a story...

THE SAILOR MOON MINIMAL SENSHI AU

One nagging sentiment I felt while rereading the manga is how it so often felt like Usagi, Mamoru, and Chibi-Usa were the only characters who mattered, and on several occasions the only characters who were able to get anything done. Even on the rare occasions where other characters got a chapter named after them, oftentimes the Moon Family still had more pages dedicated to them, and/or the non-Moon Family character's power-up ultimately became more of a battery to beef up Usagi and the character development was often minimal and inconsequential.

Crystal amplified that feeling many times over, but it was disheartening to realize one aspect of the source material it did justice was marginalizing the rest of the main cast. If I were to look at this in a super-cynical light, I'd hypothesize the likelihood that Naoko never wanted a big cast, or even the Core 5 team. If she did care about the non-Moon Family characters, perhaps it was out of obligation.

I'm willing to bet that the main reason Naoko Takeuchi bloated out her cast was due to mandates from TOEI hoping for more toy sales if more heroic Sailor Senshi existed. But that's just my headcanon on what must have been a nightmare production behind the scenes.

So it made me wonder about how the manga would have been if it “trimmed the fat”, so to speak. For all of Usagi’s protestations about how she “can’t use mist, fire, or lightning” to be useful… well, let’s face it: she already had a higher kill count than all of her friends even that early on in the story. Mamoru often had little episodes later on in the manga where he felt oh-so useless and powerless even though he’s killed monsters/notable antagonists plenty of times AND regularly takes part in killing off the main antagonists WITH Sailor Moon (while her friends were benched, even when they weren’t ragdolled into submission).

So, how much would really change in the manga if Sailor Moon was largely by herself with very few allies who could help her in battle? I can easily picture Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter being snipped from the story entirely.

Believe me, it KILLS me to say that. Mercury was my favorite since the beginning. But if I'm being honest with myself, it'd only take a few tweaks of the story beats to make Sailor Moon's first three allies completely superfluous.

For story purposes, Sailor V/Venus would have to stay in since she does play a vital role as a princess decoy, but otherwise… what if she lost her power entirely after the reveal of the true Princess Serenity? Or dies soon after? Without a team to lead, Minako wouldn’t serve much of a purpose. Heck, in this AU she wouldn't necessarily even need to wield Venus' power (since so few other planet powers are getting represented here) so much as a bootlegged copy of Moon Power.

We have a canon example in the Black Moon arc of how Venus was just “there” for much of it, even when she didn’t have to contend with her three teammates for spotlight/exposure. Hell, I recall her complaining in the manga that she’s bored and frustrated because she can’t do anything.

Luna and/or Artemis can easily substitute the exposition given by Venus.

Chibi-Usa would stay on and become Chibi-Moon; as previously stated, she’s a consistently focused-on character in the manga. In fact, she's highly integral to 3 out of the 5 story arcs. Definitely enough to the point where most of the manga would have to be changed if she was denied Senshi-ship.

Sailor Pluto… is tricky, but not impossible to write around. She’s heavily tied in with Chibi-Usa’s backstory and character growth. As Chibi-Usa’s friend and Time Gate guard, that much would stay the same. I would argue that Pluto needn’t be a Senshi to serve either role (she’s succeeding her father Chronos iirc, and Takeuchi is firm in her stance that men can’t be Senshi). So it can be arranged that she can maintain her duty as plain ol' Setsuna. It's heavily implied in the manga that she's not a reincarnation like the other Senshi were... at least, prior to her canon death. It wouldn't be too crazy to say Setsuna has beyond-mortal powers that give her extended life even without being a Senshi.

Hell, Queen Serenity basically enlists this child to duty saying "Here's all these awesome powers that you're not only not allowed to ever use, but if you DO use them, it'll end up killing you!" - Setsuna shouldn't need her powers to guard the Time Keys, and we've seen the Talismans can be held in civilian form. Though I'd argue her Garnet Rod needn't be a proper Talisman if she isn't to transform; it'd just be her means of self-defense.

Perhaps she never gets revived/reincarnated after her death? Because her connection to Chibi-Usa greatly diminishes from Infinity (and beyond).

The rest of the Outer Senshi… well. If one tweaks the Talisman prerequisite for the Holy Grail, such as make it LESS than three needed…

That’s all you need to cut Sailor Neptune and Pluto out entirely of the manga for sure. As much as I love Michiru, I can’t deny she is the epitome of “just there” in the manga. Pretty sure no one’s gonna contest this.

Even her relationship with Haruka is a side-note compared to Haruka’s constant pining/angsting over Usagi. I just kept getting this sense of Michiru being Haruka’s silver medal.

Haruka and Hotaru are the hardest ones to write around for this concept. That much I will admit.

But, one running theme for this AU is that, Moon and Chibi-Moon aside, no one else can wield the power of a Sailor Senshi indefinitely. Well, technically Mamoru is still there representing Earth, but only so much as he's able to in his canon iteration due to that pesky Y chromosome. I slated for Minako to permanently lose her power, and possibly even die for it once her narrative purpose was fulfilled.

Even if Setsuna remained a Senshi in this revision, it’s a similar outcome for her. In a best-case scenario for the latter, a reincarnated Setsuna likely would have no memory of her lonely past life and possibly come off as an entirely different person from who Chibi-Usa knew. She'd finally be able to live out a normal life no longer bound to duty and that's about as happy an end I could imagine for her.

(And hey, that’s all the more impetus for Chibi-Usa being drawn to Hotaru!)

Going back to Hotaru, then, her being a cyborg in this iteration of the story lends well to a tweak in the narrative: Pharaoh 90 attempting to artificially replicate the Moons’ Senshi powers, possibly referencing the means in which Minako was temporarily able to wield her power, to create a Sailor Senshi exclusively to realize its desires. One might say it's a perversion of the Moon Power itself.

But tampering with this dangerous power ends up corrupting Hotaru, of course, and retaining how Hotaru becomes Mistress 9 works nicely with this tweak. A Silver Crystal could sustain her powers without destroying her, or at least that's the running theory.

Whether or not Hotaru becomes a Sailor Senshi proper… I’m 50/50 on that. Mostly due to Saturn’s canon role as cleanup duty following the fall of the Silver Millennium. If any non-Moon Senshi were to exist for the long haul, it should be Saturn. Their powers are polar opposites, so it’d be a neat yin-yang deal, with Saturn still being dormant until an equalizer is needed.

Although I'd probably not call her Sailor Saturn, as it is arbitrary to include some planets (Venus, Saturn, Uranus) but not others. In general, I think the names of the non-Moon Senshi that have to be kept because removing them would completely upend the story would have to be a little more generalized than that. The Moon is often paired with the Sun and the Star(s), so that might be a safe bet. Even though the Sun itself is literally a star-

Anyway, keep Hotaru's rebirth a thing, but possibly end her role in the story once she becomes babby. So that Chibi-Usa, as canon manga mandates, seeks horse-boy as her rebound.

Alternatively, we could stay the course of the “Moon only” team narrative and have Sailor Saturn be little more than an artificial Senshi, not unlike the kinds we see all over the place in Stars. Between Dr. Tomoe, Kaolinite, and Pharaoh 90, I can buy them creating what is essentially a bootleg Senshi. Heck, that might even be the intended evil purpose of the Holy Grail once Uranus unlocks it with her Talisman.

Speaking of Haruka... Honestly, as far as the manga goes, she can single-handedly represent the Outer Senshi and their credo by herself.

But in the context of this AU, that doesn’t amount to much, lol. Honestly, I’m picturing Haruka as a darker counterpart of Minako. A temp Senshi at best, but one who’s using her powers for morally questionable reasons. This can range from romantic rival… (with no Michiru in the AU, that at least partially makes Haruka less awful - I’d nix the non-consensual kiss on Usagi, but in the spirit of a manga LITTERED with suchlike kisses, it’d probably need to stay as-is)

…. to embittered and vengeful foe who fully recalls her past life and blames Usagi+Mamoru for their failings. It was kind of a shit deal for the Outers to be permanently stuck in their post in the outer solar system, never getting to enjoy any of what they're dedicating their lives to serving. Perhaps she now perceives the practices of Queen Serenity as morally dubious at best - and tyrannical at worst, now believing, maybe, that the Dark Kingdom was RIGHT to end the Silver Millennium. And irony ahoy, Haruka - like Minako - can tap into her former life’s power. Make her take up Michiru’s role as the one who awakened as a Senshi on her own thanks to her Talisman.

Hell, one can have Haruka play both sides during Infinity. Tomoe can use his twisted science to amplify the "Uranus" powers to bypass the limitations of Venus’ powers. Probably at a deadly cost down the road.

As for the prerequisites for Super Sailor Moon? The whole “all Senshi aligned + grail” deal? Well… y’know, the Cutie Moon Rod came into existence as a trial run of how UsaMamo’s love is so potent that they don’t even need to do a WooHoo to procreate shit. Do that again, just add the actual product of future WooHooing. Chibi-Usa is familiar with the Holy Grail prior to its creation. Not a stretch. As far as this AU is concerned, Moon, Chibi-Moon, and Tuxedo Mask are the only "valid" Senshi to begin with.

Despite the amount of non-Moon Senshi chapters in Dream, I don’t see much changing in a setting where only two Moons and a Mask are fighting. For pretty much every arc, Usagi gets the lion’s share of killing blows. Mamoru and Chibi-Usa canonly have several as well - so what’s a few several more?

After all, the manga’s focus was always first and foremost on Miracle Romance. More often than not, when other characters got panel time, Usagi, Mamoru, and/or Chibi-Usa were the topics of discussion.

At the end of the day, the antagonists of Dream are squarely focused on screwing over the Moon family; the other Senshi were mere chess pieces for them to knock over. And they only became an actual threat when they literally handed over their newfound powers over to beef up Super Sailor Moon to Eternal Sailor Moon, so... there you go.

And for those few times Usagi was just hanging out with gal pals at school? Well, that’s what Naru is for. Hell, add Yumiko+Kuri too; they might end up with some degree of characterization! Usagi never not had the benefit of company during downtime! There just... tends not to be a lot of that in the manga; that's all.

Really, the biggest question in handling Dream is wtf to do about the Amazoness Quartet, considering they eventually become Senshi themselves - namely the equivalent of Inners for Chibi-Moon to have in the future. Since Usagi wouldn't have Inners in this AU, it stands to reason the Quartet are likely not gonna be redeemed and likely one-shotted much like their Trio predecessors.

As for Stars...? Well, it's basically this entire AU but dialed up to 20. The running theme of this arc is fake Senshi running around parading as the real deal while they kill, conquer, and pillage for their tyrant, who'd be the culmination of all the worst aspect of not just past antagonists, but past attempted would-be Senshi like Minako, Haruka, and Hotaru who would all either be permanently powerless at best or dead at worst.

But a worst-case scenario just might make them come back for one last go, and this time, there's be no blurred lines or moral greys: if Venus, Saturn, and/or Uranus made a return in this iteration Stars, that would be their permadeath. Unless, you know, this series still ended with Usagi yeeting herself into an automatic happy ending. And even then it's a big maybe. It'd be in Galaxia's hands, and you know Galaxia don't give a damn.

Chibi-Chibi/Chibi-Chibi Moon would still be a thing, as would Sailor Cosmos, obviously, since they're technically a form of Usagi and all. Their stories would largely be the same, I'd imagine.

I honestly can't think of where I'd put the Starlights and Sailor Kakyuu as good guys in this AU, though. I think the only way to make them work in the story and not be killed as quickly as possible like the Sailor Animamates is to have them allied with Galaxia and be functionally identical to Animamates (aka they're all fakers), but function as undercover agents to identify the holder of the Milky Way's strongest Sailor Crystal (Usagi's), find her weaknesses and the best ways to corner her, then coordinate a strike.

Alternatively, pull inspiration from the 90s anime where they ARE legit Senshi (they just come from another galaxy and all, so it wouldn't break the AU if they're more just reflections of the minimized Sailor Team) - but make them willingly surrender their Sailor Crystals in exchange for bracelets that will keep them alive, so long as they do whatever Galaxia says. Then they become reflections of Usagi and her family, and even perhaps make analogies between the three Starlights and what Venus, Uranus, and Saturn tried and failed to be for Sailor Moon.

The other elephant in the room is whether or not Mamoru gets killed off in the very first scene of this arc like he does in canon. It's a no-brainer that he'd have to die by Galaxia's hand eventually. Usagi just won't have nearly as many buffers to block her PTSD and be in total denial like she did in canon. Naturally, Chibi-Usa will be even less effectual than canon since she won't have her own personal underlings to pretend she's BFFs with and add firepower, so if only to balance that out (since the Sailor Quartet are literally the only ones who didn't die at any point in canon), Mamoru might be allowed to live a bit longer and make his love-forged bond with Usagi not quite so easily broken. But it will still break by force, one way or another.

Of course, because Galaxia's intent will still be to break Usagi, no one's getting spared at this point in the story. All of Usagi's normal civilian friends will end up biting it one way or another throughout the arc. Stars is clearly meant to be a depressing af climax to the series - at least that'll kinda deter people from hounding the mangaka into yet another arc for money's sake.

Usagi would ultimately jump into the Galaxy Cauldron at the end, though I imagine it'd be somewhat a different experience than how it was in the manga, given most of her friends don't exist in this AU, and the few that do either left/died on bad terms, or fucked off entirely without remembering Usagi or her family at all.

Maybe, if we're being generous, Usagi reunites and the temp/fake Senshi she encounters here actually make amends and promise to work for a better future? There's a lot of variables here.

It'd still end in a wedding because this is the Miracle Romance Supremacy AU, after all. Guess it depends on your mileage whether or not the ending is worth it.

So yeah, that's the long and short of the really fucked up AU I thought up inside my head because friendship and comradery always came off so hollow in the manga to me. Especially with ~Miracle Romance~ being so infuriatingly inflexible in the manga.

Hope you got some sort of entertainment value out of that. Highly doubt I'd write this proper - it wouldn't be worth the backlash, and I'm not nearly invested enough in UsaMamo to do this concept justice.

Feel free to leave your thoughts or whatever.

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shihalyfie · 1 year

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I've watched Appmon thanks to your recommendation and it was amazing! Eri, Astra and Rei were my favorites :) But after looking at past discussions online about the episodes, I've noticed so many people had a problem with its 'filler' (which i think didn't feel like filler at all), much more than any other series in the franchise (besides ghost game, probably) Why do you think this is so? Is it something in the context of its original airing's run?

First of all, congrats on finishing Appmon! I'm so glad my recommendation could get someone else to enjoy it!

Well, I'm going to be honest: I think the prejudice against Appmon having "filler" is, quite simply, a double standard. Savers actually gets this as well in regards to its first eleven episodes (it's just that since it's a fast-paced narrative after that, it's hard to make any accusations of it having "filler" after that no matter how prejudiced you are). But if you look at Adventure through Frontier, there are a lot of episodes that don't advance the plot much. Most Frontier fans agree that the hamburger episode is one of the finest episodes in the franchise despite it technically also being one of these. In fact, if you actually sit down to think about Tamers and ignore the cult that constantly insists it's incapable of having anything wrong with it, its beginning is extremely slow and there are a bunch of early episodes that don't actually advance much of anything "plot"-wise. Adventure through Frontier will automatically get a lot of passes for things that later series won't just because they have the My Childhood Nostalgia™ pass attached to them.

(I do think Appmon episode 26 is entirely skippable, but that's purely because it's a recap episode made to accommodate a timeslot change and any newcomers jumping on at that time, which obviously isn't relevant for people watching it now.)

That being said, I actually despise the word "filler" the way it's used now. The word was supposed to be used in the context of anime adaptations, especially adaptations of manga or video games; anything that was original to the anime and wasn't from its original source material is "filler" (because just sticking to the original material only won't fill enough episodes). Filler in that context was never supposed to inherently be a bad thing, it just was more often than not in practice because it was too obvious the original story wasn't made for it, and it can't advance much character or plot status quo because otherwise it'll derail it from the originally intended storyline, so it usually would end up being kind of boring. But that wasn't always the case, and I've definitely met a lot of One Piece and Dragon Ball fans who have said that some of its filler episodes are its best ones because they have interesting ideas or do interesting things with the characters even despite being so limited in what they could do.

But nowadays, people just use the word "filler" to mean "an episode I don't like" or "an episode I think is boring" -- very subjective. And even when they aren't trying to be condescending about it, they still use that word to apply to "any episode that doesn't 'advance the plot'" completely ignoring the fact that "not advancing the plot" can still have fascinating character studies or interesting ideas, oftentimes even moreso than series that don't. I've seen anime that are entirely minimal-plot that have interesting character studies and/or are episodic. Hell, I don't know many people who watched Digimon Adventure for its totally riveting plot of (checks notes) some isekai where they defeat some bosses who want to take over the world...like, how many people actually watched early Digimon because the "plot" was oh so spectacular?

I do think there's room to criticize Appmon's early pacing (in that it's kind of hard to tell where exactly they're going with the plot in the first handful of episodes, and I honestly wonder if it should have taken so long to introduce Eri and Astra), and frankly I would actually apply those criticisms to Adventure, Tamers, and Savers too -- in fact, I've had very little success introducing new fans to Adventure because it takes almost half the series to feel like it's going anywhere, and it makes it easy to get bored and drop it. But if the problem is pacing, I wish people would actually say it that way instead of saying something is "filler" and therefore useless and unnecessary just because it focuses more on characters than background plot intrigue.

#ninasheadband #shiha's ask box #appmon #digimon multi series talk

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rosalind-hawkins · 3 months

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Kaiba's Abuse/Trauma in Mumbleshipping

When it comes to Gozaburo Kaiba, there's a lot that can be said. First of all, even in the watered down 4Kids dub, Seto is abused. You can't argue that Seto wasn't canonically abused in some way. Like most things, it's worse in the manga and milder in the anime.

There's a lot of room for inference and interpretation when it comes to the question of what did he actually live through, what was it like, and how far did Seto's step-father go. There's even more that can be interpreted when it comes to how badly Seto was traumatized by it all and what the long-term effects were.

I'm not here to talk about all that in detail, but suffice it to say, I've written Kaiba enough times that I've experimented with him all over the trauma spectrum. I don't have a perfectly fixed opinion on that for him.

{Long post, rest under cut}

Whatever he's dealing with as a consequence of his childhood, he has an extremely difficult time talking about it in a way that's honest, to both himself and his confidante. This boy canonically shows a very strong ability to rationalize or simply deny whatever is inconvenient or disruptive to his world view. That means rationalizing his abuse, minimizing it, choosing to forget/deny certain events entirely because it's just easier to not deal with it at all.

I am a very firm believer in my long-time headcanon that whatever room in the Kaiba Mansion was used by Gozaburo for teaching Seto gets locked up when he takes over and nobody's allowed to touch it ever. (Not unless they sell or alter the property.)

So, what does all that mean for his relationships?

With Mokuba, the rule is absolutely to never talk about Gozaburo. Maybe the rule is implicit and only needs to be expressed when the rule is broken, or maybe it's something they both want to bury. Maybe Mokuba has questions that he knows will never be answered, or maybe Mokuba knows more than Seto realizes and wants his brother to open up to him but fears that will never happen.

In the context of Mumbleshipping, I think that even though Duke is the one that briefly met Gozaburo in the Virtual World and learns a tiny bit about Kaiba's past that way, Ryou is the one to recognize the signs of the trauma first and start putting the pieces together. He might talk to Duke or Mokuba first to get more information or a second opinion before confronting Seto about anything. He tries to be gentle about it, to simply open the door to conversation, to say something like, "Hey, I know that you're hurting and I'm here for you. I won't tell anyone and I'll never judge you, so I'm here for you when you're ready. And if all you need is for me to listen and say nothing, I can do that too." And Seto appreciates that, even though he doesn't know if he'll ever want to talk about it, it's kinda nice to know that Ryou understood him enough to pick up on it.

I do think that Duke's confrontation style is quite different. He wouldn't just be opening the door to a conversation, he would be bursting through it and demanding answers, pushing his limits and testing his luck. And it's not because Duke isn't sweet or patient (I think he's both of those things with Ryou, esp if he's dealing with any trauma of his own), but because this is what Duke thinks he needs to do in order to get answers from Kaiba. He thinks he needs to be disruptive and bold to get results.

This has the potential to work, if Duke is clever enough, but it's still going to upset Kaiba way more than Ryou's strategy. It could result in a shouting match, one that Ryou needs to intervene and settle. It would be a whole big upset and trust me, Ryou is the one coordinating the reconciliation efforts there, because he knows that Duke is trying his best. Duke knows that he can't treat Seto like he's Ryou, because he's not, and he just went too far in the other direction. Duke also doesn't really trust Seto to ever come out on his own to talk about it, and he thinks being more aggressive is the way to force the truth out. And then there's the question of what's actually good for Kaiba and the different ways to handle trauma, and that's it's own thing based on how bad the trauma is and the situational nature of it all. No Kaiba's never going to a therapist, he absolutely refuses, so if he's getting any help at all, it's from his bfs, so they either figure this stuff out together or it doesn't get addressed at all. (All that to say, the situation gets very messy very fast, and Ryou steps up to the plate like a champ to get things calmed down and smoothed over.)

After his initial fumble, I think Duke gets a lot better about talking to Kaiba about it (or not talking, as the situation calls for). I've got a couple of long deleted scenes about this actually. I posted a small excerpt earlier today and I'll post more pieces if anyone's interested, but it's the kind of thing that's got trigger warnings just fyi. I generally try not to post anything on here that needs trigger warnings (that's what AO3 is for), but if y'all are interested, I will not deny you (partly because this stuff isn't gonna get published otherwise).

#tw: child abuse #whump #seto kaiba #gozaburo kaiba #ryou bakura #duke devlin #mumbleshipping #minorshipping #mastershipping #euroshipping #angst #ryuji otogi

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nemjun · 5 months

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please tell me every detail of u and tsukasa because I am beyond obsessed with you two

would you believe I had 2 whole ass paragraphs written when i switched tabs and lost it all??? this is hell, tumblr is hell.

annyways YES OK SELFSHIP SATURDAY LETS GO, UNDER A CUT BC IM SHY AND IM GONNA BE RAMBLY. TLDR, summed up as Me and the Bad Bitch I pulled by Being Autistic

I GOTTA BE HONEST, tsukasa was not it for me when i first started the series, but i was also busy chewing furiously on senku bc he's Neat. but I was sunk after we found out about Mirai he loves her SO MUCH. big stronk man good with children is an instant K.O., i was smitten so quick.

Dr Stone is actually the first series i ever Blatently self inserted into! it was a really good fit and I felt that i could just, genuinely suit the story setting bc 1) ADHD has blessed me with sprawling random curiosities and an accumulation of trivial but Useful knowledge and 2) I literally studied archaeology for my B.A. and bc I live in Canada most of our archaeologoy is based on the Indigenous population who was still using stone technology when first contact with europeans occurred. random note for anyone who might be parusing, the 'ages of history' such as stone, bronze, and iron, didn't occur across all of civilization unilaterally, and the technology used by people is not an indication of civility or advancement of a social group. Anyways.

My real life plan for after I finished Uni was to go and teach english in asia! This didn't happed for various reasons, but it presents a good opportunity for bending realty into fitting me into the series, ehe. I genuinley think it would be really funny if I got revived by the Tsukasa empire by complete accident, busting outta the stone speaking minimal japanese and being a literal scientist by education - i was put here to cause problems on purpose. Tsukasa and I would absolutely start out as bumping heads, not quiet immediatley but as someone Anti smashing people and pro science it gets hostile fast. Arguments are conducted largely thru translations via Ukyo, who i quickly grow attached to as the only person capable of commincating in fluent english (we also have birthdays close together and I Adore that, we're birthday buddies, v cute stuff) I gotta sidetrack for a second bc as much as I love this series theres SO MUCH STUFF THAT JUST ISNT ADDRESSED AND I GET ITS JUST A MANGA BUT IM A WEIRDO. like, what about the bees??? they were just chill after having simbiotic relationships with humans for thousands of years?? sure y not. k sorry

I do wonder tho, if Tsukasa would see me as a threat to the stability of his Empire. Even with poor communication with the majority of the group, I've got a decent set of leadership skills and a lil bit of charisma, and who wouldn't like me really - esp with all the useful knowledge i can bring to the table (yes im hyping myself but its also true, i know how to do pottery and i've experience with stone tools & the types of stone you can use). I think even if he did, I'd really only get put in time out if I was causing problems, and like Taiju and Yuzuriha I might have someone keeping an eye on me. Thing's between me and Tsukasa start to change when we manage to find common ground, using him to practice japanese and finding out about his sister and his feelings about wealth etc - admittedly this was Not Well convayed in the anime, but when he's beaten up while getting seashells on the beach, the adult is yelling at him bc he doesn't want kids running around and stealing from 'his' beach. And his mom sucks too. I think that's something we could bond over, having lousy times growing up. I think he'd also be sensitive to the fact that I'm so far from Home and all my friends and Family, he's very thoughtful like that.

Man this is already reallly long and i dont feel like I've really said much, but I think when it comes down to it, Tsukasa and I just share a lot of the same values. He's strong and kind and good hearted, and that makes me feel safe. He's just very caretaker coded to me and after thinking about it the last few days, i think thats something I'm really looking for in a partner. I think I also balance him out a little bit, make him look at a bigger picture and slow down to enjoy simpler things. When we start to get along a little bit, I like to think that I'd accompany him on simple outings to forage or something, or maybe I'd be able to drag him away for a little while to show him something Neat, or getting to teach him something. He teaches me how to fight a little bit as well, so that I'm better able to take care of myself.

I think that's all I've got for now, but it's nice to sit and think about it and write it down, maybe I'll do a lil more writing over the next few days :3 OH I ALMOST FORGOT, i did a star chart love compatability thing and what I got to read for free was SO FUNNY like, he's enchanted by my whimsy lmao

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midnight-in-town · 7 years

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What is your opinion on Berserk? I've seen it floating around on Tumblr for ages and I'm a bit intrigued. I want to know if it's something that I would like to read in the future. Is it good?

Hello Anon :) Ah, you asked a… complicated question somehow, so I hope my answer will be good enough to make you understand how great this series can be. Though a quick search of “Berserk” on my blog should have given you a good idea of what I think about it in the first place.

“Is it any good?”

God, yes and it is even beyond the level of good in my opinion: be it about the art (google it), the story, the characters or the settings, it’s so good that it can even become pleasurable for the best arcs.

To be quite honest, it’s probably one of the best stories that I’ve come across (in general, amongst all the manga/books/comics I’ve read) and I’m definitely not the only one thinking it’s that good.

I also think it’s that good because there are many themes addressed within the story and it’s not just about violence or bloodshed unlike what we can initially assume, since romance also has a proeminent role for example, just like friendship and family do.

So yes, it’s really really really good but it’s extraordinarily hard to put it into words.

Is it something you would like to read in the future?

I don’t know you so I can’t say for sure, but as long as you’re not triggered by things like violence (there is a lot of that), rape, minor incest, gore and torture, I think you should be okay with at least trying it and seeing whether you can enjoy it or not.

Here’s a spoiler-free and over-simplified summary that I edited from the one on Wikipedia:

Guts is a wandering mercenary whose entire world from birth is warfare and bloodshed. Born from his mother’s corpse, his adoptive mother dies from the plague when Guts is young and he is enlisted within his adoptive father’s mercenary group.

Years later, as Guts continues to prove his worth on the battlefield, he catches the attention of the leader of the “Band of the Hawk”, Griffith, who swiftly defeats Guts, forcing him to join them. Guts soon becomes Griffith’s right-hand man while making a name as the group’s renowned raid leader.

However, while the band’s quest for recognition continues, Guts slowly realizes that he has to leave the Hawks to find his own dream, but his departure leads to a series of unfortunate events (aka spoilers), ending up with Guts being thrown into despair and cursed, and becoming the “Black Swordsman”, a warrior fighting against his own fate in order to get revenge for what happened to him.

There you go, and when I describe it to people I like to say that it’s like/it’s a mix between the Lord of the rings and Game of thrones/ASOIAF.If you’re interested I’d advise you to directly read the manga since it’s 1000000000000% better than all the animes and movies that were broadcast.

However, to be honest, the first 3 volumes make the first arc and it’s really violent + it can be a bit senseless and uninteresting since you initially don’t know why Guts is so angry at the whole world. At the end of the third volume though, you have a flashback of eleven volumes about Guts’ whole life until vol 1 and that’s when things start being understandable and more interesting for you. :)

So, either you start at volume 1 but you’ll have to keep in mind that vol1-3 can be tedious to go through as an initial contact with the story, because it’s mostly violence and you don’t really understand what’s going on, or you do the following…

Start on the first chapter of the very long flashback (last chapter of volume 3) [x]

until ch109 (included)

and then you go back to volume 1 chapter 1 until the end of volume 3

and then you go back to ch110 to read onward.

It’s really as you want, you know yourself better than I do. ;)

All I can promise is that the story is incredible if you give it the chance to show you (aka if you don’t stop before vol 4) but since it’s long, complex and full of details, I’d also advise you not to binge read it even if it ends up appealing to you (personally I read the 38 volumes in 4 months).

… I really think Berserk is a series that can’t be rec very well with just words or one’s opinion though, so as long as you’re not triggered by the things I mentioned above, I’d say take the time to try it and see whether it’s for you or not. :)

Personally, I was recommended Berserk by one of my closest friends 2 or 3 years before I started it, but the violence I saw by searching about it on Google didn’t appeal to me at first and, even after reading an interview of an author I liked who said he had been inspired by Berserk’s main heroine for his own heroine, it took for me to be in need of an emotional distraction in order to start it.

The result is that I fell in love with it and that I consider it to be a masterpiece even if it’s not finished (it started in the 90s) but so many things happen in the story that it’s hard to rec it without spoiling people or rambling about it for 5 hours.

I gave you the minimal things I could think of in order to trigger your interest and I am pretty sure anyone else reading the manga would tell you to go for it as well so… the rest is all on you :)

Have a nice weekend!

#berserk #anon #answers

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