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#they're in a mercenary band together
oh-koenig-my-koenig · 5 months
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(to the tune of Avril Lavigne's sk8terboi)
He was a human battering ram.
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She was a recon sniper.
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Can I make it any more obvious?
Headcannons - Fit for a King - König x fem!OC fanfic
Instead of making a y/n fic, I decided to create an original female character because I ususally write all of my stuff in POVs. Due to posting the chapters often right after I've written them some of the context and the characterization might not be explicit in every single piece, some of the information is only gonna get revealed down the road.
(TW: alcoholism, death, violence)
Karina Müller is almost 30 years old, she served in the Norwegian military from right after school until the death of her brother who was KIA on a mission together. She fell off the wagon after that, feeling responsible for his death and effectively being shunned by her family after that. Her pick of poison was alcohol and it got so bad that she more than once was drunk on the job which led to her getting kicked out.
The years after that she spent getting help, trying to get clean and going back to a civilian life, but the military was what she knew, so the civilian jobs didn't stick and she started to work as a mercenary, now a dry alcoholic. Which might be an issue for some contractors, but KorTac doesn't really bat an eye.
She's a compassionate person who loves to laugh, she's seen enough shit not to take any from her teammates and can stand her ground when faced with any challenge thrown her way. She's still working through some stuff, coming to terms with her past, but she has an optimistic spirit and a strong will.
Even though the Colonel seems scary at first, she learns pretty quickly that he is to be respected in training and on the battlefield, but on a personal level he's really not that bad. The 6'10'' killing machine, Austrian war criminal (insert "what murdeeer?!"-meme here) is quite an anxious person when it comes to basic human interaction.
Shouting orders at his team, stomping his enemies into the ground is more comfortable to him than just talking about mundane stuff with other people, he mostly keeps to himself (except for Horangi because that little shit would never leave him alone). And for the first time in a long time, Müller makes him wish that he could just go up to people and strike up a normal conversation like a normal person (don't we all).
König is 38 years old (we don't know his full name) and has the biggest metalhead dad vibes without actually having any children himself (his favourite band is Death, although he listens to a bunch of different ones, it's also their merch shirt Müller steals in "Are you wearing my t-shirt?").
When he started out in the military, he shaved his long metalhead hair off because that was the way to go back then, but he let it grow back when he was older and already Colonel. He has gauged ears and a plethora of tattoos all over his body because the soft pain of body modifications and working out until he almost passes out are his ways of dealing with his anxiety and stress. His body is a testament to that.
He has a huge scar on the right side of his face from when he got beaten to a pulp by his bullies at school, something he never let happen again after that (five on one was really unfair). His nose has been broken two times and sometimes his tattoos get destroyed by battle injuries, but he doesn't really care about that - or his looks in general. He's a soldier and not a model.
So the reason why he's always wearing the selfmade hood is not the scar. He prefers not to show his feelings to others, staying hidden underneath the mask for his own comfort, even if it makes him scarier also in situations where he doesn't want to be.
(CW: some nsfw headcannons ahead, talk about not wanting to have children) They're both switches, though König is leaning more on the Dom-side while Müller is a sub who likes to brat a little too much, just to see her man falter (for example when she calls him a good boy in random scene #1).
Müller is bisexual, something she discovered when serving in an all-women-taskforce of the Norwegian military (we don't really know about König's sexuality though). She decided a long time ago that she doesn't want to have children (she doesn't see herself leaving service again anytime soon and given her past, she doesn't see herself fit to become a mother), so she got her tubes tied. Which also comes in handy when a certain Colonel's favourite pasttime (well, actually second favourite) is leaving creampies inside her (no 'unexpected pregnancy' trope in this household).
König definitely eats pussy for his own pleasure, begging Müller to let him eat her out in "Sit" or losing a little friendly competition for a sexual favour in "But no funny business" (oh and he definitely steals her panties at any chance he gets). She's totally not opposed to servicing him as well, but the size of his dick makes this a whole endeavour (like seen in "Open wide, Prinzessin").
They match each other's energy pretty well, just going at it like rabbits at every chance they get, which sometimes proves to be difficult as they're sneaking around in secret.
Their arrangement is kind of a fuckbuddy/fwb-situation, they fuck hard and rough, without ever really kissing (the mask stays on), but after a while feelings start to get in the way... After all they do belong together <3
Read more at the Fit for a King - Masterlist or keep an eye out for the AO3 link - coming soon.
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thettrpgtournament · 11 months
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Why you should vote for each of them and full art below!
Lucy Amano (by @ficklepenguin for D&D)
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Lucy Amano (they/she) is a just a normal human ranger with a pet bear, except they're actually an aasimar and have no idea. They figured out maybe something was up when their friend went down in combat and they exploded into searing light, which is not a normal thing humans do. Their bear is named Nita, and he's the goodest boy. They also have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, or they would, if the trio would ever figure their shit out. And they also just found out that their dad is from the moon, which they didn't even know people lived there.
(art by @everlastingrandom)
Felix Ambercreek (by @ghostbrawl for D&D)
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felix is honestly just my beautiful boy. that's all i can say. unfortunately, players from his campaign will read this so i have to be brief. felix is a newly-paladined paladin of sarenrae who is taking to redemption, forgiveness, and virtuosity like a special interest, but carrying it out in practice incredibly badly. when felix felt sarenrae call him to work at a mercenary guild, he left home with full support of his (also religious) family and took advantage of not seeing his family for a while in order to totally reinvent himself - changing his name and swearing himself to always be veiled, even in combat, so that nobody could see who he is. even as a novice paladin, this has already started to cause him problems -- for example, a band of goblins tried to steal his armor to summon a metal eating monster, and took his veil along with it. out of fear and desparation, felix split from his party and chased the goblins alone, almost dying to the metal monster (and a particularly cruel goblin) and strangling and killing one of the goblins that tried to kill him out of anger and frustration, marring felix's relationship with his god. though he does get his veil (one with embroidery done by another party member) back, it is torn and dirty at the end :-(. maybe one day felix will truly "get" what being a paladin is about, but for now he's largely controlled by fear, rather than the drive to value and redeem others - and he ends up using his responsibility as an escape instead of a duty.
Levlith Craephin (by @the-web-of-iris for D&D)
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Levlith is a tiefling Bloodhunter, a mother of two who originated in the town of Icehaven, A woman of wits and courage, yet her calloused hands hold endless kindness and love. She spent her time caring for her own children, and many other children and adults alike in her hometown, a pillar of her community and someone trusted with the protection of many. Married once to a Drow bard named Briza, the two are now separated (but not divorced. it's complicated) she now reserves herself and has little interest in romance in her middle age life. After a terrifying incident and a close dance with death she came into possession of her ragged sword, as well as her newfound blood-hunter abilities, and soon left her adult children to roam across the empire and beyond in her mission of hunting down dark blots within the world from the shadows. After entering the coast with the intention of making a deal with the leader of a mercenary guild, she begins to meet new people and make new friends, and comes to realise she is now working in the same environment as her once lover briza. Together, the Silverlinings guildmates will follow requests, find themselves in trouble, and explore the unknown. However, what is Levlith's motives? What is she truly looking for? What is she hiding from? |O|nly time will tell.
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sealrock · 5 months
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the result of researching stories about japanese mythology, fox-wives, and binge-watching inuyasha for the 99th time in a row:
takami and tomoko, twin auspices who take on humanoid forms. my lore on them is very bare bones and subject to change but here's what I got thus far:
'takami' and 'tomoko' are just aliases. they're true names are 'raikou' and 'futen', they are the twin lords of chaos and the scourge of the east
while they appear human, the twins have pointed ears and 'birthmarks' along their faces
despite their appearances, takami is known to be a dense, wisecracking trickster who eats his weight in his favorite foods. tomoko is the mature one of the two; if takami gets too brash or if he intentionally annoys her, she'll yank at his hair to shut him up. despite her no-nonsense attitude, tomoko has a love of fashion and theater
they hail from the eastern region of koshu and are said to have been born near daitenzan mountain nearly two thousand years prior
their original forms were of raccoon dogs born with silver and black fur. because of their unique coloring, various lords and poachers of the region wished to hunt them for their body parts as they believed they would bring them good fortune. the will to survive allowed them to live beyond their natural lifespans and gain sentience and immense spiritual power
they can take on the forms of silver raccoon dogs at will to hide out or escape trouble. while under the effects of aramitama, they can transform into terrifying creatures and wreak total destruction on the lands
takami and tomoko are formidable foes in battle as they harness the powers of lightning and wind. while their ages may differ, they could rival the four lords in brute strength alone
the twins can be seen flying by at times: tomoko rides on a cloud while takami's mode of transportation are floating wheels of fire beneath his feet
tomoko has been called 'the wind sorceress' for her ability to harness deadly gusts, gales, and twisters with her fans; they're sharp enough to behead a man if he's not careful. she's also agile, swift on her feet, and can create clones of herself out of air
takami wields a naginata called 'raiden'. it is rumored to be cursed with demonic energy. besides being a polearm, takami uses his naginata as a lightning rod to channel thunder and lightning for ranged attacks
the twins operated as mercenaries during the age of blood; they served various clans on both sides of the war throughout the centuries for coin. they gained infamy for their peculiar magicks and penchant for mayhem. while awe-inspiring, the warlords at the time grew fearful of the twins' power as auspices and elected to band together in order to slaughter them. takami and tomoko narrowly escaped certain death by fleeing to onokoro in order to hide in the looming tower heaven-on-high. they took advantage of the mortals' superstitions of the island and laid low for the next few centuries
they became unofficial guardians of the ruby sea and the locals of onokoro believe that the heavy gales and severe thunderstorms, sometimes deadly, are caused by raikou and futen. they offer prayer and worship to quell the twin fury of the auspices
at some point in time, takami fell in love with a mortal named tauvane, a rare occurrence amongst their kind. this would eventually lead to his downfall and tomoko's loss of spiritual power, it was stolen by tauvane who now harnesses chaotic wind powers (wip)
takami unknowingly sired a son known as achille who inherited his father's power over the destructive element of lightning. tomoko is achille's aunt and achille can descend into a primal rage as a result of being part-auspice
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nightshade962 · 1 day
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I got a few more ideas for possible troll fics and one scene.
1. The scene: ok so a scene I think would be funny is in a fic where JD comes back finds the village and meets a teen grey branch. In where poppy go les through the your not the heartthrob, fun one and so on when she calls John old branch is there obviously recognized him. In true little sibling fashion starts laughing his but off at JD. The snak pack are standing there with their mouths open shocked that's the first time they have seen him truly laugh. Maybe other trolls are there and are shocked as well. Jd see branch's eyes and the the left canine and knows its branch he is both happy and sad. Happy his baby is alive but sad because he's grey. After like 5 minutes branch snaps out of it when Jd goes to hug him but he pulls away just walking away.
2. Story1: kismet has been traveling the world since they where teens. Branch, ablaze, and boom are orphans while trickee and hype have families. Branch grows tired of the bullying he faces every day decide to just leave but he can't go without saying goodbye to the four that care for him. So at one thier hangouts he tells them. Right away boom and ablaze say they are going with him. They have never been adopted. Trickee and hype want to go as well but they have families. Hype mentions it to his mom and dad they decide that hype should go live his life and tell to go with just to come back a visit. Trickee just asked his moms they at first didn't want to let him go and is worried for the other boys they're just 15. But they know their son and that he will just go away so they give him the ok. They come back the village twice a year so trickee and hype can see their family it was on one of those trips the the first movie happened.
They just spend their time traveling and make friends all over the world. Branches colors ce back not as bright as they once were but are still there. They start the band when they are 17. They do pop, rock/punk, and alternative music with a saying that ablaze has been quoted saying 'we sing what ever we want'. Their band surpassed brozone in fame quickly. None of the brothers know that branch is in that band. Kismet is one of flyod's favorite bands but can never get good enough seat to see the faces of the band, he flabbergasted when he finds out who branch is. Floyd still get taken so jd Bruce and Clay have to fine branch. They freak out when they decide to move to pop village ( except Bruce) when branch tells them bye he and rest of kismet is going back traveling. Jealous brozone.
3. Story2: kind like the one above except kismet are bounty hunters/mercenaries. They made a guild that is like a large family. The guild is full of performers that double as bounty hunters, mercenaries, spy, and hakers. This shocks everyone. The bounty hunters are shocked that this big named guild is ran by the little brother of the trolls that hired to find.
4. Story3: ok so I have been reading alot of trolls react lately and i have not seen something like this yet. So everyone are watching the moves and short happens before the first movie. Branch is not happy about it and his brothers are trying to hug touch him such as arm around the shoulders and so on. Brozone and snake pack are just annoying branch. All the other troll are like dudes stop he doesn't like it. Kismet hears branch talk loudly to stop so they come over. Trickee and boom kind of jump on branches back and just start talking.hype grabs his hand just starts talking a mile a minute while playing with branches hand. Poppy try to tell then that he does not like to be touched and brozone is about to kick them off their brother but branch just starts talking and laughing with them. Everyone is shock trolls that the troll that was so angery and didn't want ot be touched is just letting these guys. Once again jealous brozone. After boom and trickee get down from his back ablaze puts his arm around branch and bumps their heads together. Brozone is so mad like why won't their baby brother allow them to do that. The rest of pop trolls are just shocked. Branch's colors brighten up a bit when he's with these guys. Therein two options for how branch responds to who these trolls are you can chose just covering same bases 1. These are my brothers in everything but blood and 2. These are my partner(s) (if you want you can chose one of the other kismet members or all)
That all I have for now I may post more. Once again I suck at writing so feel free to take these prompts and make something grand. I just ask if you do to give me a link to it or the title so I can read it
Until next time live long live large and rock on
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all-mirth-no-matter · 2 years
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Mirth’s Masterlist
Explore: my everything tag | myotps
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WIPs
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Time After Time: (Peaky Blinders, Tommy Shelby x OC/Reader) You have been told by your mother since the moment you were born that you had the gift of prophecy. Convenient, since you managed to mysteriously transport back into time by one hundred years. What happens when you become wrapped up in the Shelby’s family business after the brothers return from the war? Will you ever get back to your own time or figure out how you got to Small Heath in 1918?
Reader Insert (tumblr): masterlist OC (multi-chapter): ao3 | moodboard
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Once Upon a Supernatural Time: (Supernatural x Once Upon a Time, Dean Winchester x Emma Swan) Henry Mills needs help convincing his new-found mother, Emma Swan, to believe in magic so she can break Storybrooke's curse. Could Dean and Sam Winchester be just the help he needs to get Emma to believe? Or will they also need some convincing? Dean's dealt with a lot of things - demons, angels, witches, werewolves - but magic may be a bit out of his belief system.
Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips
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Our Lie Abilities: (Teen Wolf, Stiles Stilinski x Lydia Martin) She's a famous actress recovering from a difficult hiatus. He's a member of a band just trying to make it. They're lying to the world - but can Lydia and Stiles lie to themselves? Fake dating, non-supernatural AU.
Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips
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Doctor Who University: (Doctor Who, Tenth Doctor x Rose Tyler) Rose Tyler is still mourning the loss of her beloved mentor when she starts a new semester of classes. Unexpectedly, she develops a strong bond with his replacement - a tall, thin professor with really great hair. [currently on hiatus]
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Completed
Once Upon a Time, Emma Swan x Killian Jones
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Tonight You’re Mine: Two feuding band members are handcuffed together at the Enchanted Music Festival. Emma Swan, part of a rising rock band, can't stand the egotistical Killian Jones, lead man of the popular group Skull Rock. How will they survive the festival and both perform before they find a way to become free of each other?
Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips
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The Princess Bride: As the Enchanted Forest teeters on the verge of war, the reluctant Princess Emma is devastated by the loss of her true love, kidnapped by a mercenary & his henchmen, rescued by a pirate, forced to marry a prince, & rescued once again by the very crew who took her. Foiling their plans & jumping into their story is Killian, Emma's true love & friend to a dangerous pirate.
Explore: ao3 | manips
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Much Ado About Nothing: Shakespeare's comedy meets Once Upon a Time. Emma as Beatrice, Killian as Benedick, Snow as Hero, and David as Claudio. A story of gossip, rumors, sarcasm, scandal, and manipulation tied up with a bow of romance and humor. What could possibly go wrong?
Explore: ao3 | moodboards & manips
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Overdue: (one-shot) CS College AU. Someone keeps forgetting to return the book Emma Swan needs to complete her report, so she tracks him down and forces him to hand it over. Based on tumblr prompt.
Supernatural x Once Upon a Time Crossover
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Swan Hunting: Dean Winchester embarks on one of his first solo hunts since his brother went off to college. But as he searches for answers, he becomes acquainted with a certain blonde waitress he met in the most unconventional way. A young Dean/Emma AU.
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Other Swanchester One-Shots: a collection of one-shots usually accompanied by a manip.
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Credits & Disclaimers
I do not own series characters and original script dialogue, they belong to their creators. Original characters, narrative ideas, and word manipulations used to create these stories are mine. I do not give consent for any of my stories to be copied, reposted, transposed, or used for AI without my permission. I do consent to reblogging and link sharing.
Story Header art by me
Divider art by @saradika
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philosophicalparadox · 8 months
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The thing I like about Berserk most of all, ironically for me, is that the characters are dominantly human.
I usually never like the human characters or root for the human side in Man Vs Monster tropes, cause humans are usually dicks being unfair and judgemental and most man v monster is just Catholics vs Jews or Catholics vs. Protestants, or Catholics vs Heretics of any other flavor 2.0
But Berserk doesn't play by those rules, ironically - VERY ironically, considering there's a whole arc dedicated to the Holy See and Catholic church torturing heretics for funsies.
But that is exactly what I love about Berserk - there's no “man must become a monster in order to defeat one”, no - man is already a monster, plain and simple. Anyone, anywhere, can become a monster in the right circumstances - and those circumstances are A) not at all universal and B) not always tragic or relatable or heroic. They're often vile, disturbing, disgusting. Hypocritical. Nasty. I wont go into detail - if you've read Berserk, you already know.
But that is how it is - everyone has their reasons, everyone has their moments - and they're not always pretty, or justified, or sane. Sometimes the person in those moments thinks so - but often in Berserk you see people, ordinary humans, doing heinous things knowing they are doing something injurious or harmful, purely because they can, or they want to, or because they think they'll be rewarded in some way. Inquisitors torturing innocent people because they think God will reward them is among the least of it. Hell, the Band of the Hawk is unto itself a Mercenary Band. Judeau said himself they had all types of folk in their rank - that they didn't care about pasts, only futures. Criminals, bandits, you name it. Judeau himself was a performer - not a nice thing to be back then - Corkus was a common bandit/petty theif. They had decent folk the same; second sons would have been trained knights without a title, not that being a knight made one at all decent. Plenty of nasty, rapey ones existed.
Point is, the only black and white in Berserk is the colour coding of Griffith and Guts (which is deliberately ironic in multiple ways) and it lays that out right from the start.
Grey. There's so, so, SO MUCH GREY, it's all there is, anywhere, in anyone. There's no virtue without vice. There's arguably the opposite- Wyald comes to mind - but even he is just supremely dark grey. His actions are as despicable as possible, but his reasoning is that of a child. He is so dark he might as well be black, but I still hold that he is just the deepest grey- similarly, Laban is surprisingly very chivalrous, and a genuinely good and honest man. Even in the face of the destruction of everything he knows, he remains virtuous and steadfast. He is mostly white - as white as its possible to get in this story and still be somewhat grey; for even he can't help his humanity and despises those which would assail himself and his country, as a knight ought to I suppose.
What's interesting here, though, is that both our image of the deepest grey and the palest are both side characters. Wyald plays a pretty important role in the plot, but so I would argue does Laban, for what little we see him. He demonstrates that even in a world collapsing, humans can still have hope, and that when calamity strikes is when humans are most keen to band together and support each other in the wake of common circumstances (plague, famine, disaster).
The two main characters however (well, 3 if you count GA Casca) are, despite their respective color palettes, extremely mid. Yes they both do some extreme stuff, but morally they’re both opposite but still similar shades of grey- and personally I’d argue their palettes reflect the exact hues they possess, with Guts actually being the darker, more morally corrupt one. But that’s a post for another day.
Berserk is the ultimate tribute to the Cynic's philosophy. And I am nothing if not a cynical philosopher lol.
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Band of Sisters, Band of Thieves (Medieval! Powerwolf x Fem! Princess! Reader) - Part IV
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WARNINGS: Mentions of blood
Part III - Part V
My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!
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You forced the smile to stay on your lips as you walked side by side with your mother. She rattled on and on about how you and your sisters needed to maintain your royal duties. "I don't like how much you girls fraternize with those mercenaries, they're from a much lower class, if it wasn't for your father I would have had them all executed by now." You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. She was insufferable when she got into the topic of your fondness of the Wolfborne Company.
"I don't think class should matter. They've all been nothing but upstanding gentlemen towards us, not to mention how many times they've defended the kingdom." You kept your tone pleasant, a carefully calculated personality you always had to keep up in front of her. Before she had a chance to snap back at your statement you headed for your chambers. "Excuse me mother, I'm feeling a bit tired." The second you were turned away from her you let your composure crack, a scowl finding its way to your face. You rushed down the hall, not wanting to give her a chance to try and follow you. You let out a sigh of relief as you closed your door behind you. A startled squeak escaped you as a pair of warm lips crashed against yours. You found yourself caged between your lover's arms as he pressed you back against the cool wooden slab. "Matthew!" You slap him lightly on the chest, trying to steady yourself from the very welcomed head rush his kiss always gave you. "What if my mother had been with me."
"Relax beautiful, if you didn't see me when you walked in she definitely wouldn't have." He chuckles at your annoyed expression, playfully pinching your cheek. "I wanted to see you before I set off, is that such a terrible thing?" You couldn't keep up the façade of being angry with him any longer, your expression softening as gave your waist a gentle squeeze.
"You weren't supposed to be leaving on another expedition for at least a couple months." You tried your hardest to hide the disappointment in your voice. You knew Matthew being away for extended periods of time just happened to be the fate of falling in love with a mercenary, but you'd be lying if you said if it didn't hurt to watch him leave each time.
"Roel never came back." He states simply. He knew you would understand the severity of the situation from this information alone. You sigh, pulling him into a tight embrace.
"Just, please, be safe. My heart couldn't take it if something happened to you." He cradles you in his arms as if you were a delicate flower.
"I believe I made you a promise." You didn't have to look up at him to hear the smile in his voice. "Would you like to remind me of what it was?"
You pulled back, your eyes meeting his. "That you would always come home to me."
"Have I broken that promise?" He sways slightly, almost as if he was trying to dance you around without any music. You giggle at his actions.
"Not once." You rest your hand on the side of his face, happy to be able to have tranquil moments like this with him, regardless how few and far between they might be. "Do you ever think about us running away together?"
"My love, we've talked about this. If we ran away together every man in this kingdom would be sent to hunt me down." You had joked about it in the beginning. Your relationship with Matthew wasn't supposed to be anymore than a fling, a rebellious act against your parents strict rules. When the two of you had first started seeing each other you would soon wild tales of running off into the woods and never looking back. That all started to change when Matthew began to see a future with you.
"Life on the run isn't suitable for a princess." The two of you say in unison.
"I want to give you the sun, moon, and stars… I can't do that being a known fugitive." He chuckles. You stood in silence for a moment.
"Would it be alright if I saw you off?" He offers you his arm with a soft smile.
"It would be an honor, Your Highness." You peek your head outside of your room, carefully scanned up and down the hall to ensure no one would see the two of you leaving your quarters together. You gave Matthew's arm a gentle squeeze, releasing your grip on him as you step into the hall. You walk an acceptable distance apart from him down the hall, your gaze trained straight ahead. "You always look so stern when you're out in the open." He chuckles, copying your targeted, straight forward gaze.
"I don't want anyone to be suspicious, I'm not going to have you getting in trouble." You allowed yourself to glance over at him, a gentle smile resting on his lips.
"Always so careful." He teases. "Where's the fun in that?" You scoffed, rolling your eyes, causing him to chuckle once more. "I don't want you to worry too much while I'm gone, Roel probably just took a wrong turn somewhere and is behind."
"Just… don't be reckless." You sigh. You always worried whenever he left. Despite how talented you knew he was, mercenary work was dangerous. Constantly having to fight just to stay alive. You were grateful every time he managed to find his way back into your warm embrace, where you would never let any harm come to him if you could help it.
He casts a look over his shoulder to make sure no one had emerged behind you. "My darling girl, I can promise you I'll be as careful as possible." You breathe out a laugh, smiling down at your feet. "All I can think of when I'm away is coming home to you. Seeing your smile, your beautiful eyes, hearing your melodic voice. I miss you terribly the moment you are out of my sight."
"You flatter me, Sir Matthew." You click your tongue. "What has such a plain girl like me done to deserve the affection of you?"
"Oh, you're anything but plain, Your Highness." You catch him glancing at you out of the corner of your eye. "You are by far the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life." You giggle, a blush quickly spreading across your cheeks.
"Matthew?"
"Yes, my love?"
"I want to marry you someday."
"I feel the same." You both shared a small smile. The two of you engaged in some casual small talk as you made your way through the vacant halls. Eventually you found yourself standing in front of the castle gates, joining the rest of the Wolfborne Company. "I should only be a day or two at most." You reach out, taking his hand in yours.
"Come home quickly, I'll miss you too much." You knew he couldn't risk kissing you out here, one of the castle guards might see. But he knew. Matthew knew how much you longed to have his lips on yours, sharing in one more passionate embrace before he went on his way.
"We'll keep a good eye on him Princess, no need to worry." Charles offers you a kind smile. You look at the group.
"Gentlemen, good luck, and be safe. I'm sure you'll find Roel." They all offer you their thanks. You stood at the gates as they all rode off into the woods, your heart heavy as you watched Matthew disappear into the tree line. A sad smile found its way to your lips as you head back towards the castle. Your attention was caught by a figure darting behind the gate's archway. You were met with your older sister's embarrassed expression as she realized she had been caught. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" You tease her with a giggle. "You came to see Sir Falk off, didn't you?" She rolled her eyes.
"Of course not." She scoffs. "I just thought it was odd that he and Charles were out here waiting, I wanted to know what was going on." The two of you start walking back down the main path together. "So that's why Ducky seemed so upset." She remarks about your youngest sister.
"Roel's been teaching her Dutch." You tell her. "She's practically fluent at this point." Your sister pauses in her stride, a concerned expression finding its way across her face.
"We should go find her… something doesn't feel right." She explains, her voice incredibly serious. If there was one thing you knew about your sister, it was that she had an incredible sense of intuition, she just had a way of knowing when you or one of your siblings was in distress. The two of you hurried through the halls, eventually spotting her kneeling in the garden. You both rushed down the garden, freezing as she held up her shaking hand, stained with blood.
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Tag List: @ramblingoak @mustluvecho @moss-the-moth @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @rabidghoul @iamsarahsaysso @belnovacaine @kissingghouls @vampghoulette @gothdaddyissues @jennmakesitweird @angellayercake
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jbk405 · 6 months
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See you in the story past the story....
I just finished Bookshops & Bonedust, the prequel to Legends & Lattes. This wasn't quite the one-sitting bullrush that L&L pulled me into -- I kept getting interrupted and distracted so it took me three days to get through -- but it holds up as the next link in the chain for this world.
It's interesting seeing Viv in her early adventuring days. You can see in this younger, brash character the seeds of who she will eventually become in L&L without being too obviously telegraphed. It's got a little more action and adventure than L&L since Viv is still carrying a sword, but not enough for me to move this into the "Action" genre. The small, quiet coziness is still the point.
A problem with prequels in general is the need to fit into the predefined mold of the later works. Any romance isn't going to last, any friendship is going to end, any business is going to fail, because the characters need to end up in the positions for the "real" romance and friendship of the later work. So, instead of trying to fake us out, everybody knows that this situation is going to end.
But just because it's got an expiration date doesn't mean it doesn't have value and worth on its own.
Viv is stuck in the quiet, boring town of Murk while she recuperates after an injury. She's counting the days until her mercenary band returns, but until then she makes friends and starts to live in this quiet little small city. She befriends Fern, who owns the local bookshop. She has a summer romance with Maylee, who runs the bakery and was an adventurer herself in her youth.
It's Fern who stokes Viv's love of reading, which is a character point in L&L. Maylee is, in many ways, who Viv will eventually grow into. That is discussed explicitly between them at times, and also between Viv and others who see their relationship and know that it is destined to be short-lived because they're at two different points in their life.
Viv is marching up a hill, while Maylee is going down. They're passing each for now, and they're happy to have the time together while they do, but when their journeys continue they'll go in different directions. They're sad when it ends -- sadder than either of them predicted when they started -- but not surprised, or angry, or regretful.
The renovation of the bookshop was also a brilliant subplot, and maybe a comment on depression and executive dysfunction as well? When Viv first gets to town, the shop is in general grimy disrepair, and very uninviting for customers. Books are piled on tables and the floor, the paint is flaking, Fern's pet's dandruff and shed fur/feathers are everywhere, etc. The shop is obviously floundering because of that, and Viv pushes her into cleaning and making repairs bit by bit. None of the repairs are particularly big on their own, and they don't need to all be done at once, but nothing was done at all despite Fern's desperation to save the shop until somebody else pushed it. She was just used to the disrepair, and it all seemed insurmountable until somebody else made her see it and took a hand.
This gets a solid "Recommend" on top of Legends & Lattes.
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varley-of-torment · 6 months
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Favorite Merceleth headcanons?
Thank you for the ask!!!
Merceleth isn't really a ship I have headcanons for? it's more like I have reasons for liking them as a couple, but also those reasons are kind of grounded in hc?
I guess one headcanon is that they're very in tune, almost inherently. Shortly after getting to know each other, they know they can rely on the other as if they were their right hand. They balance each other out, yes, but they're also on the same page about a lot of things. Their backgrounds, personalities, behavior, they balance each other out, but like their nature is the same page. If that makes sense.
I love merceleth because of that mix of opposite (devil/angel, mercenary/nun, fighting/healing, deadpan/cheery, good with complex things* and bad with people/bad with complex things and good with people, etc) and of connection; It's what makes them such an entertaining pair to me. I love imagining everyone else in the monastery being baffled by their in tune-ness and how well they understand eachother.
My other headcanon is that part of why they connect is their childhoods; Byleth grew up in a mercenary band, and as well adjusted they may be, that's still a pretty disillusioning and violent upbringing. Mercedes grew up in an abusive family and lost her brother at a young age. This is hard to explain unless you've experienced it, but going through life having had a chaotic childhood can make you feel disconnected from your peers, like you can't be on their level because you've learned to navigate disfunction while they have known function, or the things that seem important to them seem irrelevant to you (or whatever! this is a nuanced thing). So when they meet, they find someone, like them, who "gets it", who they feel normal around.
(I have spent the better part of two years obsessing about Mercedes's psychology and childhood, which is where most of my headcanons lie. Probably my most important Mercedes hc is that she's a CSA survivor, and that definitely effects her relationship with Byleth, so that's a merceleth hc by association; it definitely ties into my point above about meeting someone who can understand your trauma.)
More traditional hcs because you got me going now: I think they'd try on each other's clothes and have a great time. I've said this before but I think prof au they mix up letters to each other and graded papers and accidentally hand back a letter to students. I think they stay up all night talking. I think they both admire the other's way of doing things, like Mercedes is very impressed with Byleth's sword skills and Byleth is so impressed by her sewing. I think they're both smart but when they together they become idiots (affectionate) I think individually they're good in a crisis but if they're together they will somehow make the situation worse. I think prof au they are always sneaking their relationship around seteth. I think they see the students as kids but the faculty sees THEM as kids. They are a sitcom duo to me <333 these characters are pure serotonin <333 theyre so silly <333
*I don't know how else to say this?? I mean Byleth is good at war strategy and teaching a lot of different subjects and is just super intelligent in specific ways that Mercedes is. not. she can't hold too many numbers in her head at once she is self diagnosed scatterbrained.
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e1dritchqueer · 9 months
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Callisto and Io infodump
Okay okay okay okay, I feel like I need to talk about Io and Callisto from last Beam Saber session or else I'm gonna fucking combust jesus fucking christ AAA
Callisto: My player character. She's an Ascencian pilot who has trapped under the facade of a dead and legendary pilot. The previous pilot, Argyre died and Callisto, a city rat and a conscript, someone who, according to Ascencian fascist rhetoric, should by no means be able to pilot a mech somehow inexplicably bonded with it. She's been forced to become the pilot known as Wraith (Argyre's callsign) and to pilot its fearsome mech, The Wraith of Deimos (We'll refer to it as Deimos). Only recently has Callisto escaped the hold of the Ascencians and now, with Deimos, find herself as a part of a roving mercenary band. Now, while she was imprisoned under the Ascencians, she was forced to play the role of Argyre, under Ascencian rhetoric, Argyre was not dead. And internally, Callisto was only a placeholder till they could find a "proper" Pilot to officially assume the role of the Wraith. No one knew about Callisto, Argyre's death, or the fact Callisto was the Wraith now. And those that did got killed (Illia's old crew). Even free from the Ascencians, Callisto tries to keep a low profile, not knowing how to tell everyone that she didn't somehow steal Deimos, she was (and is) its pilot.
Callisto's wants in this game were simple. Callisto more than anything wants to run. She wants to escape the war and leave, an impossible goal that she has reached for her entire life.
Callisto and Deimos' relationship has been an interesting one. They do not know why they are bonded only that they are. They are the two-become-one known as Wraith. Each is afraid of the other but that fear has transformed into a fearful intimacy. Callisto saw the Deimos as just another part of The Wraith's constricting identity but has since realized that Deimos is just as restrained as her.
Their bond, like all bonds with what's known as "Awakened Frames" (Culturally called Leviathans where Callisto comes from) (awakened frames are essentially like the Gundam/EVAs of this setting. They are terrifying.) allows them to do something impossible. In their case, it is capable of opening a "door" into a mysterious pocket dimension known as The Red. It is something old, something Callisto both sees danger and safety in, something she is trying to understand. (also this is why red is like... a massive motif for callisto). Argyre was also capable of the very same power. While Callisto uses The Red to run, Argyre used The Red as a weapon.
Cool now you're caught up to speed on my beloved wet dog of a girl and her it/its trans girl of a mech.
Now, last session, which you can get a vibe of from my liveblog of it, the party went to a ball for the "season 1 finale" of the Beam Saber campaign. Callisto was asked to dance by a girl named Io (JOVIAN MOON MOTIF). It was lovely. They both got to dance unrestrained from the expectations and roles of war forced upon them, simply enjoying each other as each other and getting to cherish that. Stepping out of the ballroom and onto a balcony, they get closer, physically and emotionally. talking bit about their life. They both feel like dogs in an unending war, tired of losing people in the war, and wanting to escape it all. They feel a tenderness and closeness with each other. It's lovely. They're glad, that even in the midst of this terrible war, they have met each other, and through that feel a bit of solace. It feels like Io is going to move in to kiss Callisto, but before that, Io gives her an offer. "Come escape with me Callisto. We can leave the ring. Leave the war. We can be at peace.
I just need to finish this one job.
I just need to kill the Wraith
I checked the frame registry. It's here. I don't know where the pilot, is, I haven't seen him, but if I can just destroy that terrible machine I'll be at peace. We can escape together.
Callisto is in shock, she's stumbling over words, a jumble of "W-what do you mean?"s and "H-huh?"s.
"I can't be at peace while the Wraith is still living... It killed my mentor. Took one of the few people I cared about. I just need to destroy it... Then... Then I can escape with you... We could leave this war for good"
Callisto wants to take that offer. She so desperately wants to leave this war. Abandon it all and everyone. But she can't. Not at that cost. A younger Callisto would have taken that chance in a heartbeat, a Callisto utterly terrified of Deimos. But Callisto, though still terrified of her Leviathan, is too connected to Deimos for her to abandon it anymore. She didn't realize this till this moment, but she cares too much about Deimos to allow it to be harmed.
She steps back as Io tries to lean in closer. "I-im sorry I-i think I really have to go..."
Callisto beings to stumble her way from the balcony, reaching her hand out to the ballroom door "I'm sorry... I-Im just not the girl you're looking for". The doorway opens. But it's not the ballroom door that opens.
The last thing Callisto sees is Io's dawning face of horror as she watches Callisto fall into The Red.
The Wraith's red.
The thing is, Callisto was wrong, she was the right girl... Just for all the wrong reasons....
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vincentmatthews · 1 month
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Small things about Blue:
{Ft. @timaeusterrored 's Vincent Welles :)}
♡ He's an emotional roller-coaster. If he's upset, terrified, or angry enough; he cries. It doesn't take too long for him to calm down unless it's something really bad. Then the only thing you can do, is hold him tight and let him cry and go nonverbal until he's okay again.
♡ Blue loves the sound of wind chimes, and heavy rain.
♡ He's a whore for kisses, hand holding, and cuddling. Any form of physical affection makes him swoon.
♡ He's a great cook and loves cooking and baking. Especially if there's a possibility of getting the kids involved.
♡ There are very few things he actually can't do. He can come off as an overachiever, or someone who's full of himself because of how many skills he has.
♡ He has a fear of the dark. He has to sleep with the bathroom light on or with fairy lights. He's not scared of the dark itself. It's the fear of the unknown and what could be lurking within the darkness. Unfortunately, he's had people in the past feed off of that fear and even helped him develop that terror. He wouldn't tell his partner(s) about it because he knows it's childish and he's embarrassed by it.
♡ He's in a non-exclusive relationship/fling with Dean. They both will argue that they're not boyfriends, yet they live together, be romantic with each other, and even sleep together. It's a mutual agreement they've come to, and they're both happy with the arrangement. They consider each other best friends, but with benefits. Blue is one of the few people that Dean can 100% always rely on, and will know have his beat interest at heart.
♡ He has a history with Jaxx, but it's not as bad as Dean's is.
♡ He loves cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the ones he loves and doesn't ask for much of anything in return. His love language is simple and romantic acts.
♡ He knows how to use a gun but doesn't like packing one around. He's a great aim, but the idea of carrying around something that can end someone's life in a millisecond doesn't sit right with him. Plus, what if the kids get a hold of it, and end up hurting themselves? They're too dangerous, and he'll only carry one if he absolutely has to. But even then he'd perfer knives. {Dean makes him carry one when they do mercenary work together, and he hates it.}
♡ He knows how to play guitar, and on special occasions, he'll pull out his acoustic guitar and start playing it as he sings. He also owns a drum set, but he hasn't touched that since he as in a band. He also hasn't put out any albums since Vince passed. Now, he just plays his guitar for his own enjoyment, not for others like he used to.
♡ Blue was in a 6-month committed and loving relationship with Kerry after Vincent's death. He was the only thing keeping Kerry from fully self distructing between losing Johnny and Vincent Welles both. He left in the middle of the night, and Kerry has never forgiven him for it. After that, Ker went hard with self distructing by partying, doing drugs, drinking, and having sex with anyone who showed him 5mins of attention. When Blue did show up back in his life, it was bad. And one of the few times Kerry's fully lost his shit and had a hysterical breakdown to the point of screaming and even getting physical {just beating on Blue's chest, not hard enough to hurt him}. Blue held him close, and let him have his break down, and just kept saying he was sorry for hurting him as he ran a hand through Kerry's hair.
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ratasum · 9 months
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Developing a couple of characters for story purposes at some point and got these two.
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Svend Hvergison and Bodil Hvergidottir. Both of them were part of the Pact pre-Maguuma, working with entirely different teams. Svend is a guardian (dragonhunter) and Bodil is a warrior (spellbreaker).
They were both the only survivors of their respective squads when the airships went down in Maguuma, and they banded together out of a sense of necessity in order to survive. Giving up the names they had before they met, he offered up names for both of them (Svend, free man in service of another, and Bodil, penance, with Hvergison/dottir for "son/daughter of nowhere").
They've been traveling together as mercenaries ever since. They don't necessarily blame the commander, but they do try to avoid dragon fighting when they can. Not that it ever actually works, they keep just getting dragged in somehow.
But they're ride or die for each other.
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writernopal · 11 months
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Happy STS Nopal!! <3 I might still be a lil misty eyed from last night 🥺🍓
Switch genres/time periods with me! As A Stranger Or A Friend? is now sci-fi — does everyone keep the same career? Does anything change about how Axtapor and Mariel meet?
Happy STS, Outpost! The love was well deserved! ♥️🍓
Does everyone keep the same career?
Oh man I'm tempted to say they're space pirates and that's it but that's too easy SO... I'm picturing a kind of dystopian sci-fi world. Like they all live on Mars or somewhere dusty like that.
I think Fay would be one of those salvage yard bounty hunter types. Like she lives in a gutted out spaceship, has some kind of space bike, too many guns, and she's wearing these baggy overalls and one of those really tight tank tops WOW
Wilkes would probably be a washed up soldier turned mercenary. I can see him leading his own ragtag band of lizards and he and Fay sort of have territory tussles but occasionally work together. Mucho tension (romantic).
Axtapor would totally be an adventurer. Like he's this nomadic type of guy, just taking odd jobs because he wants excitement in his life. He also collects cool things for his grandma 🥺
Mariel works at a pawn shop with her parents. It's definitely a family business and she absolutely knows how to wield a sawed off shotgun. She wears it strapped to her leg under her skirt but she's perfectly pleasant so you absolutely don't know that she's armed and dangerous.
Does anything change about how Axtapor and Mariel meet?
Yes! They definitely meet when she's working her shift at the pawn shop. He falls for her and he purposely comes to pawn stuff off at her family's shop even though it's out of the way for him. Like he's got a stupidly huge haul and they spend the afternoon looking at each other nervously while she's valuing the stuff he's brought. It's all very sweet until he shows up at night one time when she's closing up shop and she doesn't recognize him so she nearly shoots him LOL. Don't worry she misses. I imagine after that they go on secret dates because they're both nervous her parents won't be cool with it but in reality they know and don't care. They just pretend not to notice so they can have the thrill of sneaking around. 🥺
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pinewoodpipit · 7 months
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One thing I’ve noticed across many of your fics is that Fade/Hazal seems to relate a lot to wolves- it pretty evident with ur Dark Materials au art and her Daemon (?) being in the form of a Wolf (forgive me I haven’t read the series / know much about it)
But anyways; I’ve noticed in quite a few she seems to be connected or associated with wolves. Like being a literal Werewolf in Bloodwritten Silver, the wolf daemon, the wolf attack in Cowboy AU
Is it a coincidence in that Wolves Are Cool (I agree) and you just want to include that kind of thing- especially the werewolf vibe? Or is it relating to something else, like how she tends to be a “lone wolf” kind of person? Or even kind of a funny bit with how Neon is a dog person?
Just curious as her motif in Val is all about cats and I can be totally reading too much into this lmaoooo
Haha you're right, and this has been pointed out to me before privately! It's a little of both reasons you've listed - genuine reason with story-based intent, combined with me just liking wolves.
In Bloodwritten Silver, I knew I wanted to write a werewolf au and Fade just seemed to fit the storyline best. Fade's the type to hide away her problems, keep to herself, and probably hide until she eventually snaps and lashes out, which fit a werewolf pretty well, I think. It would lead into her being such a loner; distrustful of herself and her lack of impulse control, hating herself for her anger issues, and also it made for fun added angst since, as you put it, with her family gone she's now a "lone wolf", which would be a pretty terrible thing for any social creature to deal with.
In cowboy au, I chose wolves for a few reasons - namely just because I like them, but also they're a common enemy in RDR2 (a large inspiration for this fic). John Marston in that game is attacked by wolves and I thought it would be a nice tie-in to that, and I could justify why the wolves would be desperate enough to attack both her and her brother, because with the world rapidly expanding, wolves would be being choked out of their hunting territories and going hungry very quickly. It makes sense that a starving pack of wolves would be desperate enough to try and hunt a human living out in a tent in the woods.
In HDM AU, I chose a wolf daemon for her because they're sly hunters, like her, and also wolf daemons in HDM are usually associated with a band of mercenaries in the books so I wanted to show a wolf character who isn't from that group. I had a few other options for a daemon for her - I did think about a cat, but I actually thought it'd be more fun to make Neon's daemon feline (hence the cheetah) since it's a string that could start pulling them together. She likes cats, Neon's daemon is a cat; it's something small, but small things can be meaningful, too. Another option for her daemon could have been a crow, which I liked for the "bad omen" symbolism and how easily they could spy on people, but other characters already have quite a few bird daemons (like Jett with a gyrfalcon and Deadlock with a snowy owl), so I wanted something a little different for her. I like that a wolf and cheetah are pretty similar in size, too, so they can more easily snuggle (and yes, there WILL be daemon snuggles in this fic).
Grey wolves are also Turkiye's national animal, which is a coincidence which I only learned about after I was already deep into writing Bloodwritten Silver, but I think it's a fun one.
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vulgarmaw · 10 months
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I call this campaign idea:
Uncivilized Disobedience
Party starts at level one.
The capital city of Althurious, in the kingdom of Leicester is on lockdown due to insurgents. The party, having never met before, finds themselves at a riot where the commoners are storming the jails in an attempt to get a woman named Jocelyn released.
She is a Joan of Ark style of public hero. She has been defending the farm lands in the kingdom from goblin and bandit raids. No one knows if the goblins and bandits are working together, as they have never been seen working together, but their attacks seem coordinated.
The party arrived in the city in order to join a militia that was being created to help quell these attacks as a last ditch effort by the ruling class to keep the people from revolting. Jocelyn openly opposed the creation of the militia unbeknownst to the hero's. She says that she and her band of friends (read mercenaries) have the situation under control.
The commoners are not happy with her arrest and seek to free her. The newly formed militia is called to stop the riots using any means necessary. Shortly after it arrives all hell breaks loose.
The commoners attack the guards defending the jail. Some of them seem to be far better trained than a commoner should be. Others are not so fortunate and get cut down relentlessly.
An explosion (no dc save) rocks the jailhouse from within, knocking the party unconscious. They awake in cells surrounded by guards(12). The guards are covered head to toe with no skin showing and refuse to answer questions.
In the cell near them lies an unconscious Jocelyn or at least a woman who looks remarkably like her posters. She seems to have been severely beaten, but is still alive and breathing. She doesn't wake up the entire time they wait.
Hours pass, the guard changes to only having two. The lights are dimmed as the wicks burn low. And soon those two guards are fast asleep in the corner having failed to play a game of dice. Suddenly Jocelyn arises with her wounds looking healed.
She speaks the phrase "For the king. May his divine right to rule never be challenged and his throne last forever."
The door to the party's cell opens having been unlocked.
"I do not know the phrase to open my own, please escape from here and tell my friends where I am being held. There is an evil corruption in this kingdom and they will need me if they are to save the people."
If the party attempts to free her she will tell them that any cell not unlocked with its specific password will trigger an alarm and they will all be doomed. The only reason she could free them is because a guard was left here alone and she commanded the password from him and commanded him to forget that he told her. She tells them where to find her friends and how to escape without being seen.
When they finally leave the prison they find out they're deep under the castle and they cannot enter from where they left. The doorway is solid stone and can only be passed through from the inside as a way for the king to escape if the castle is ever sieged.
You can make it up from here, but basically they have fun trying to escape, find their weapons, and make it to her friends after a few sessions. From there they start off causing chaos in the city and disrupting law enforcement in order to give her friends a chance to succeed at doing things that will help them free her.
I have other ideas, but I generally don't go past this point in designing campaigns until the players have decided how they want to play it out.
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dragonologist-phd · 1 year
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Hi, how are you doing?
I just checked on Piper's page and I love the way you gathered all info, background, etc. It's beautiful. She is beautiful a pity she is not single
I'd like to know more about your Kingmaker's OCs too, if it's possible.
Oh my goodness thank you so much!! I’m over the moon to hear you liked the character page, those are really fun to make! Piper also appreciates the compliment, she’s blowing you a kiss rn ;)
Eventually I’ll get around to making those pages for all my characters, they just take some time lol. For now here’s my Kingmaker Baroness, Mercury Primm!
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Mercury is a Chaotic Good Alchemist who left her small hometown in search of adventure and somehow ended up with a kingdom! Her father ran the local apothecary, and taught her everything she knows about alchemy, knowledge which she expanded on quite a bit in her travels. While she's in it for the adventure, her ultimate goal is to help provide for her family and make sure they're all well taken care of.
She's optimistic, intelligent, and extremely curious, which gets her into a lot of trouble especially when combined with her impulsive nature. But she's got a big heart, and she's determined to make her kingdom into a place where all types of people can prosper. She's good friends with Linzi, Amiri, and Kalikke, and gets along less well with Jaethal and Valerie. She was close to Tristian for a while, but their friendship never quite recovered after...everything. She had long-standing romantic tension with Nyrissa, but in the end she romanced Kanerah. The two are married and very happy together as Queens, and they've adopted a handful of kids from Kalikke's orphanage!
For the DLC, I made Mercury's little sister, Rosemary!
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Rosemary is a Neutral Good Cleric of Shelyn. She was supposed to be getting her education at a Shelynite Temple, but when a visiting mercenary band rolled through town with a handsome Maegar Varn as their leader, she ran off and joined the group without a word to her parents. She's a bit flighty, obviously, and doesn't tend to take things very seriously. But she's extremely compassionate and brave, and she has a strong sense of justice. She and Varn eventually get together and start a family of their own.
Mercury also has an older brother, Callum, who would be called the most steadfast of the siblings and never had the desire to adventure on his own. He runs the business side of the family apothecary, and he's mostly here because I think it's funny that his two little sisters go on such insane adventures while he's perfectly, blissfully happy with his accounting job at home
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