#thinking so so so hard about clive regardless

[autoneurotic]

still a wip, thinking sooooo so hard about clive barker’s oil paintings while make this

#terfs die challenge don’t interact with my beautiful art made with my beautiful trans soul and heart #thinking so so so hard about clive regardless #autoart #wip #light #moon #abstract #abstract expressionism #painting #surreal #surrealism #2022

[rlyehcityplanner]

FF16 Ending Theory and Themes (BIG OL’ SPOILERS)

Having now completed it, I’m gonna summarize my ending theory and what I think ultimately are the two core driving themes presented by the end

1. “Duty and obligation ties people together, sometimes to a detriment”

2. “The wills and wishes of people usually come to fruition even if it can take generations to achieve”

So we’ll start with the themes

1. As we see the Undying obligated to serve Joshua/House Rosfield sometimes to a fault, which Clive says basically verbatim to Cyril. Regardless, of whether they have noble intentions or causes, people can be led to a tragic or ruinous course quite easily by obligation and duty.

Clive himself, is duty-bound to serve by Joshua’s side, and he strives to carry on Cid’s goals of creating a more egalitarian world. This, despite Jill’s protests to him that he puts a large burden to do so, upon himself. 

Side-note: I have seen some criticism that Jill gets side-lined in the third act (yes, absolutely) but that by giving Shiva to Clive it robs her of agency. I think she made it very clear it was her choice to do so. Mind you, her other option was to keep using Shiva until she died, but I think Cid would agree that in itself was a choice as he wanted to create a world where people could choose the terms of their death. She still gives Clive shit afterward about him struggling to lean on others, and I think she has a clear an defined arc of seeking atonement herself. Jill is probably one of my favourite characters, period.

The narrative choice though ultimately of side-lining her unfortunately made a fair bit of sense in the third act, as she, like Joshua would’ve succumbed to the curse. Is it fair that narratively we let Joshua suffer longer? Perhaps not, but I think Jill chose to live, while Joshua expected to die and said as much (especially right at the end, and Clive just accepted his choice)

Gameplay-wise I would’ve been fine having a de-powered Jill as a party member, I mean Byron still kicks all kinds of ass despite being the most normal dude.

Back on topic now, 

Interestingly, Ultima parallels Clive in that he, like Clive, does everything in his (it’s?) power to protect his people. Ultima falls prey to duty as much as Clive does, Clive in the final battle calls Ultima out for being as flawed, and prone to poor decisions as his creations. 

2. This one I really liked because the wills of people Clive is constantly defending, and I realized it amounted to people’s “wishes” or goals. Cid has clear goals, to free the world of class strife, that is his wish/will. Jill begins the game, by making a wish upon Metia and the game is book-ended by Metia disappearing from the night-sky, implying Jill’s wish that Clive would safely return to her came true (strongly foreshadowed in several quests including Priceless where Jill essentially spells out the ending:  when the dawn breaks , you always come back to me or in another quest for Hippocrates where Clive receives a quill pen, and Hippocrates says he wishes Clive will someday be able to ‘put down the sword and pick up the pen’ and Clive replies by saying he’d like to write a book someday)

Similarly to Clive carrying out Cid’s wishes, or Jill’s wishes being implied to have come true, Ultima asks Clive what happens now that he has won? Clive anwers humanity will struggle, and things will not be easy. To which Ultima replies was it worth all the effort then? Clive [paraphrasing here] answers this by saying it may take generations and years but we will achieve what we set out to do

Essentially they’re saying collaboration and unity is possible but it will be a long hard-fought road and will come from the collective will of the people

which brings it full circle back to the more basic initial themes of “brotherhood” and “unity”

Now, my theory on the ending:

Well, I kind of covered it partially in the section on the ‘wills and wishes of the people’ I’ll elaborate further here

It’s pretty clear Clive probably survived, there’s a ton of foreshadowing (covered above) and there’s also the book in the after-credit scene to consider.

The author is Joshua Rosfield, but I don’t think the actual Joshua had survived. We can infer from all that foreshadowing Clive is likely the author, and using Joshua’s name as a pseudonym like how he used ‘Cid the Outlaw’ to perpetuate Cid’s goals and to honour him. So it’s to honour Joshua most likely.

The family we see I think may just be Rosfield descendants who passed down Clive’s book in the family

The only clue to whether Dion survives is that his Active Time Lore entry does not change, and we have seen Dominants survive worse situations. Narratively, I think it would be perfectly acceptable for him to have survived anyhow.

Our two suggestions to whether Joshua survives would be Clive’s insistence to never break a promise again and his attempt to heal him after the battle with Ultima. 

Based on the line that Clive says that not even Ultima’s power was enough, it’s likely Joshua didn’t survive. 

Also, I think Joshua having survived would undermine his own choice of having died on his own terms, he wanted Clive to accept it and carry on. Which I think Clive did.

I mean mid-battle, Clive takes a moment to grieve his brother, if Joshua survives, that moment also loses a fair bit of impact. 

But that’s just my interpretation. I think I’m gonna let this game’s story stew in my head for a bit as I really loved it but don’t want to overvalue it due to recency bias but damn, this one is sitting quite nicely.

#final fantasy 16 #ffxvi #FF16 #spoilers #video games #themes #there's a lot here to grapple with and it's really fun to get into #haven't enjoyed a narrative this much in a while

[crabknee]

ECHOESSSSSSSSSSS Python, i'm sorry, but i'm not sure if i'm gonna use you. Tobin is cooler and has a lot more stats on you cause of the base villager class. Also i'm pretty sure the max unit count is 10.

ALRIGHT BOYS LETS GO KILL!

Goodness. He looks so punchable. Then again, thats kinda the point :p

Just realized that because hes blown up on my computer, Desaix looks like he doesnt have any pupils. Spooky

Alm, two apples tall: Damn, this bit is so versatile...

99% sure hes gonna defect. cause hes an ass.

See?

Cant wait to send you reeling on your ass Fernand... ...My VA sensors are tingling again, and its toward Desaix. Okay... lemme scroll down here... Spits out drink

Okay, what else...

A WHAT HOLY SHIT THATS AMAZING Talented man... I guess this is what would happen if Igor served Narl-[I am Shot]

Anyways back to Fernand complaining about his previous job to Desaix

GET ADOPTED IDIOT

Love the word dastard, its like bastard but less! Also new name alert!!!! Neato

Ohhhh i could make so many Persona Jokes...

WOAH CUTSCENE!

This guy get his armor made out of his hair or something?

YEAH I FEEL THE SAME WAY FERNAND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE Good lord this cutscene is pretty, thank god my emu has a pause function...

They look kinda cute together ngl

LOUD CHEERING!!!!

Thats the spirit!!! He must have had a self-confidence arc off screen

Okay so uh im going to bring attention to the VA here, cause holy shit that read was so good?!?!? like just before the line i heard him doing a small breath in-and-out to psyche himself up???? Like ough... the boy........

MEANWHILE

Damn, you know he is a Scary Guy when he gets a whole intro cutscene and also his own theme with a harpsichord. Only Serious Business with Berkut.

:3 Famous last words :3 Also Berkut's Theme is so fuckin good what???????

I see, so hes like Evil Sigurd Loves his wife and is evil

Oh boy I love being a fly on the wall!!! Such wonderful things I get to hear!

I mean, birth is unknown, he could be a lost prince or something, knowing FE.

*sneezes in SMT IV*

@beantothemax I THINK I NEED TO TELL BERKUT SOMETHING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW....

Anyways Fernand and Berkut are Instant Best Friends out of their Classism. Im glad that Fernand found someone to be friends with

Clive divorce arc...

HUH so rudolf is the king of the evil place I forget its name, Rudel??

Allllrighty! that cutscene was pretty dense, so ill leave the battle and post-battle stuff for another ask. REGARDLESS! Lets take a look at the battlefield!

...This is what youre using to defend the castle? that is kinda hilarious tbh.

Thought there would be more.

Ohhh boy that looks like its gonna be Fun.

I'm 99% sure the game wants me to try splitting up my team, but i really dont like doing that. So i'll try not. But i mean, we have the power of the turnwheel if things get hairy, soooooo

Anyways, lets begin the fight!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BERKUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

RINEA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PRIDE AND ARROGANCE GOES HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

me going insane aside, that is my favorite cutscene in the game tbh, like animated cutscene. I also love Berkut and Rinea if you couldn't tell, evil sigurd is a really funny description, you're so right for that

And also, you're so right, the voice acting in this game is so fantastic, best in the series imo. Just you wait until you hear more Berkut, his voice acting actually goes so hard

Clives wife consoling him after Clives husband left him for a bigger classist

#asks #vinegaronmain #vinny plays fe15 #pie dni

[finitevariety]

I was tagged by @armandaniels, thank you!!

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

last song: so I have been rewatching Black Sails lately. Since I was too lazy to find the cable for my external hard drive, which has the files less the end credits, I watched it on a streaming site—which is where I found out that Nick Cave had covered Avalanche for s2e9???

It's not the last song I listened to, but it's a fun little piece of information I didn't have before. The last song I listened to was by a friend of mine.

last show: last finished show was a rewatch of The Terror around the time my dad died. I don't know why I thought that would offer some catharsis. Regardless, a fevered 2-day bereavement leave rewatch did at least generate a fun little AU plan.

currently watching: Succession, obviously, plus a Black Sails rewatch. I think I might pick Picard back up because I've heard S3 is good (though, given the bar set by previous seasons, this may not mean much). Film-wise I am continuing apace this year. Now that my local indie cinema has closed down, I pirate almost everything, but found that a BFIPlayer subscription has really helped expose me to some films I didn't know about before. I'd recommend it! I have a letterboxd but my reviews are hardly scintillating so I'm not even going to link it.

exhibit A

currently reading: I am honestly very proud of how my reading is going this year! I'm reading Elena Ferrante's My Brilliant Friend and just finished Symposium by Muriel Spark.

I'm also reading a bunch of short stories thanks to that one tumblr post that's going round. Some of them are just garbage, but the great thing about short stories is when they're bad you invested maybe 20 minutes max, but when they're good you think about them all day, same as you would a novel. Of the ones I've read so far (I currently have them open in about 80 tabs), I enjoyed The Yellow Wallpaper, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, and How Spoilers Bleed, by Clive Barker (who also wrote Candyman and Duel!).

pictured: foolishness

current obsession: yeah, it's Succession. What gave it away? Also bryophytes and fungi but that's a personal problem.

uhhh I am tagging @silverchain @swankpalanquin @watchfuldeer @eastgaysian @squiddoodlebug @peachpulpeuse @parasprite @gothcrafts and @s0ftpining, and of course anyone else who would like to be tagged!

#i always feel very awkward tagging people in these things so i tend just to avoid them #BUT! #i am having a rollercoaster of a week so #haarping on

[aotopmha]

If you do all the sidequests and look up the lyrics of "Moongazing" it's very obvious that Clive survived. Metia goes out at the end because Jill's prologue wish came true, Clive was returned safely to her. That's why she smiles. "I realized that, no matter how terrible the night, dawn will always come. You will always come for me." The dawn came, Clive returned to Jill.

Yeah, at a point I skipped the side quests, but I do plan on going back and checking them out and people have been telling me this.

But I believe y'all.

I hate stories that play with death like this (and I adore FF14, which also has issues with death).

To elaborate on my issues with the thematic core of the story: Joshua surviving was on really shaky ground from the moment it was revealed he survived.

In fact, it is pretty much the central thematic element to Clive's character.

I think the Ifrit battle is absolutely fantastic character work and it's all based on the fact that Clive killed Joshua. But I gave Joshua surviving a pass because he is the Pheonix and Clive still had to put in the work to overcome his trauma.

If Joshua is alive, all of that struggle IS softened because well, the object of grief, Joshua, is alive.

And if Clive is alive, that revival has no cost whatsoever. He just defied death with no consequence whatsoever.

And this wouldn't even be this big of an issue if it also wasn't part of the thematic core of the story that life is suffering, but we move on regardless.

If Clive can get his brother back by just crying and wishing really hard and Jill can get Clive back just by wishing really hard, what was that entire talk about accepting humanity's suffering and accepting humanity's flaws?

What is the measure of suffering?

Clive and Joshua have been through a lot more than just losing each other.

Their father is dead, Clive was a slave for 13 years and being a Dominant was especially painful for Joshua.

Cid still died.

But aside from Joshua, Wade lived, Torgal lived, Ambrosia lived. Jill lived. Clive basically was handed almost everything back by the narrative.

The suffering he felt is obviously valid and character growth comes from a real place.

And the setup for the survivals is valid, too.

Metia has been there since the very first cutscenes. Ambrosia, Wade, Torgal and Jill were all off screen enough to believe it.

And we see the flaws of humanity in other strong ways.

Clive gained the power of a literal God. Of course he could revive Joshua.

But this is all stuck in the execution of the writing.

Joshua already lived to begin with. I think he just could not have had that fake death.

While Ultima is a god, it has been established Pheonix Downs actually can't bring back the dead. Throughout the series, they heal from unconsciousness.

And I even cried at that scene!

What was all that about not stooping on the level of an arrogant God? Nope, here, have all the dead back because you prayed hard enough.

And Jill went through some shit, too.

It's not like all of the *feelings* were undone.

But that 10 minutes at the end undermines the strongest themes really hard, even if it "makes sense".

It's so frustrating.

And I'd even give it an easier pass if Barnabas or Ultima were interesting characters, but I thought they were painfully one-note with maybe good ideas buried in there.

The final battle was mostly just repeating old character beats with less nuance and depth.

If Clive truly is as definitevely alive as the side quests imply, what can they do to fix the thematic substance?

This is like the most basic writing mistake *the first Pokemon movie* made.

So many stories do this.

Writing advice:

Don't fucking write a story about loss if you don't fucking want to kill characters. Depicting death and then undoing it is horrible for the sense of danger and reread value of the story, rather than an easy way to produce it.

There's plenty of other powerful themes to explore that don't involve death or simply have it at the periphery.

Not wanting to hurt your characters can still yield meaningful stories. (All you need is simply *some sort* of interesting conflict.)

I think the story simply would be so much stronger if either Joshua or Clive (or both) stayed dead.

But if they don't, I at least want some consequence to *literally reviving the dead*.

(I guess some can take comfort from that fantasy, but I can't because that's just not how people work.)

As I said above, if Joshua wasn't fake-killed to begin with, this entire thing would already be better, too. Because Clive wouldn't need to revive the dead. Let both of them fuse into the Ifrit fusion, share the destruction of the crystal and let them survive it and you've got an actual, even if loose, satisfying happy ending.

So what can potential DLC do to fix this mess?

I'm still keeping the possibility of Clive's death in here, as obvious as his survival might be from side quests.

- Maybe even if Clive lived, he's still somehow stuck in his mind or not entirely "saved" and this time Jill and Joshua have to work to truly save him. Would at least lead to some consequence for playing god and reviving dead people.

- If Clive died, maybe Jill and older Joshua could be playable, become heroes in their own right and work through their trauma. Grieving, but remembering him.

There's still plenty of summons to make into boss battles/playable.

That or they just make it an addition to main story because all of the magic IS gone after Ultima and there's no additional epilogue material.

Thank you for the ask!

#Final Fantasy 16 #Final Fantasy XVI #FF16 #FFXVI #FF #Final Fantasy #Asks

[liroyalty]

[/still feels. what if sue found out joshua being sick deep down. like one day when he's having one of his episodes of blood coughing for one thing. also, how his body is slowly dying. how would she react & how he's been pushing himself more all this time with no regrets as it helped his brother & to be of help even to her on top of that, also finding out of one he sealed in himself.

now on another note, I still see him fighting hard back to keep living, but i can see her also doing what she could & would not let him go. ]

Joshua is a sickly boy, so it's probably happened at least once. The sheer amount of drive he has to keep on trucking, despite all these factors slowing him down, is very impressive too her. Nonetheless, it does make her worry. She'll think of it very objectively at first, like gods forbid, if he dies does that mean that thing in him gets out? What happens to the Phoenix? And to Clive if he has to see his brother die... again. Sue will take it upon herself to care for him, she will get him to take his damn medicine whether he likes it or not, & it slowly becomes less about what happens if Joshua dies & more about... just not wanting him to die.

Even after not having to worry about a piece of some god stored within him, he likely still maintains that sickness, if even not as bad anymore because there's no second factor within him to worry about, but Sue still worries regardless. She still doesn't want him to die. And she's still going to take care of him, whether he likes it or not.

#s1lxcs #suzanne aesthetic(varies trigger warnings) 【in darkness blooms the spider lily】 #『v!ffxvi』

[tiz-chan]

It’s probably really late! I wanted to ask do you think Clive will regret not being about to protect Joshua and his kingdom?

Haha, yeah probably. Plus I go to bed early unless it's a weekend. 🥲 I have my queue posting for me between 7-10, so that's when you can tell I'm getting relaxed / ready for bed. 😴

omg why do you hurt me like this???

I would be absolutely shocked if he didn't feel that way. From what we can tell, primarily on the Awakening trailer, Clive is not only Joshua's big brother, but also his literal 'shield.'

I get the impression that Clive takes his duty pretty seriously, too. Not only as a (possibly) protective big brother, but because Clive might have an inferiority complex. I imagine he felt like a failure, being the first son and all, who let his parents down by not inheriting the Eikon.

Clive must have worked very hard to get where he did by the age of 15. He must have gotten sick of feeling like the 'failure' of the family, desperate to seek out something he could do and feel worthy through it. And not just for himself. I figure he might have been a bit eager to make his parents acknowledge / be proud of him, too??

15 year old Clive will be a good boy(TM). But even before everything goes to shit, I feel like he will still be quite complex. He might have a darker / uglier side to him, where he may or may not feel even just a prickle of envy towards Joshua for having inherited Phoenix when he couldn't.

Don't get me wrong though. I think feeling that way would only make Clive feel more frustrated - more so with himself, then anything. Hell, maybe he'd partially hate himself for it.

So imagine how it would feel to accomplish so much after feeling so inferior, only to have your entire life flipped upside down in a mere night.

Clive will be devastated.

20-something year old Clive will be broodier because of it. And we already know that he's thirsty for some vengeance, which is understandable. Anger is a common crutch for coping with grief. But that same anger could reflect back at him, too. I imagine he would replay what he could've done differently in his head again and again. Perhaps even blame himself for not being strong enough, regardless of whether there really was anything he could've done or not.

Not being able to protect the things that mattered is probably his biggest regret, for sure. Not only did he fail to become Phoenix's Dominant, but he failed as Joshua's shield and older brother, too. He failed his parents. Failed the entire kingdom, even.

Everything he ever accomplished amounted to nothing, and he only ever let other people down.

I'm hoping that 30-something year old Clive will be able to put those broken pieces back together, and sort of mature / find some peace despite all of the horror this game will most definitely put him through. But depending on how things go, I could also see him hit an unhinged, sort of rock-bottom before things get better, too.

Well, I mean, assuming things do get better...

#omg #i got carried away #im so sorry #you get me talking about clive and i could go on for hours #final fantasy xvi #final fantasy 16 #ffxvi #ff16 #clive rosfield #joshua rosfield #words

[stormbabylore]

I just need to ramble a little about the XIV/XVI crossover event, specifically as it pertains to my Stormbabies, because I'm having a very great number of the feels.

Spoilers, obviously.

So Clive's situation is eerily similar to Aeryn's (and, by extension, Aeron's). He's thrown, violently and unexpectedly and without any significant memory beyond his own name, into a world entirely foreign to him. He gets horribly painful flashes of familiarity but still can't seem to break through to any true understanding of who he is or where he came from, regardless of how hard he tries or how much he, at least seemingly, wants to. And in the end, he discovers he is host to an unexpected power even he wasn't aware of, and that revelation begets further pain alongside a terrible realization regarding his tragic loss.

( •̀ - •́ )

I am... drawing parallels.

Just a few.

(O_O;)

What I think hurts the most here is that Clive's arrival was "foretold." He didn't awaken alone. He was found, taken by the hand, and guided through it all until he found his way back to himself again.

Aeryn and Aeron were not.

No one sensed their coming. No one walked alongside them as they took those first uncertain steps in a world they didn't know or understand. They had no twin star to guide them... and that's fine. They figured it out, adopting the moniker of "adventurer" and pressing on until they found their own stability.

But I can't imagine that walking this path with Clive and seeing the parallels to their own stories wouldn't be bittersweet and painful in its own regard. Aeryn, at least, understands that the home she sought for years is long gone - that there's no going back. I think she could be happy for Clive, taking that first step to accept his loss and finding the way back home, because she has begun to forge a new home for herself on the Source.

But doing the event as Aeron, who would have this experience somewhere in post-ARR... he's watching Clive achieve what he himself has thus far failed to do: learn who he is and find a way home.

Anyway, my heart hurts for my little stormbabies, despite the fact that I'm in charge of their stories. (I have a problem.)

But I really, really like the event. A+ to Square Enix for once again making me leak a bunch of feelings from my tear ducts.

(╥﹏╥)

#aeryn stormwater #aeron stormwave #ffxiv stormbabies #clive rosfield #ffxiv oc #ffxiv wol #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv screenshots #wol lore #ffxiv crossover event #the path infernal #ffxiv spoilers #the path infernal spoilers #ffxiv event spoilers #crying but it's fine

[jayahult]

12 and 15

12: Did you enjoy any compulsory high school reading?

Hmm, I enjoyed a few. I read both Beloved and A Handmaid's Tale in my last year of highschool, and while I didn't appreciate them at the time because I was extremely stressed about high school, I do really think they were spectacular books in retrospect. I've also had a growing appreciation for Jack London over the years, though I'm not actually sure if he's all that well-known outside of the US. He's fairly famous here because of his association with the Alaskan frontier and nature writing, with his most famous stories on the subject being Call of The Wild, White Fang and To Build a Fire. To Build a Fire in particular is a really affecting and powerful short story, and I'd argue it was the first short horror story that I ever read.

15: recommend and review a book.

Well, I'd recommend you Worm, but it seems you've already walked that path to the end, so that's a bust, and I'm not enough of a narcissist to recommend my own stuff. Not to harp too much on Clive Barker, but I do think you'd like him a good deal just based on your other preferences. The classic here is The Hellbound Heart - arguably his most influential work considering the impact of its movie adaptation, Hellraiser. The Hellbound Heart, though, is a bit different from its movie adaptation. It makes a lot of character motivations more explicit, and to put it bluntly, more sexual, but in a good way. It makes it a lot clearer that the Cenobites don't really see a difference between different kinds of sensation, and that they just see more as better, regardless of what more means. In general, the imagery is a lot more intensely psychosexual in ways that I just can't get out of my head.

If you want something lighter and are willing to branch out into comics, I would have to highly recommend Kill Six Billion Demons. It's one of those comics that you really have to see to properly get an idea. It's really just delightful to look at, and while the plot starts off a bit eh, once it picks up it really shows some colorful and fun writing. Additionally, in the online version, there's a berth of supplemental texts beneath each chapter which commentate indirectly on the goings-on in the comic which are all quite interesting and often very well-written in my opinion. My personal favorite is Meti's Sword Manual, which is both funny and insightful as a look into a philosophy that sees violence as the only means of power, but also sees it as fundamentally all-consuming and destructive, with Meti herself being an answer to the question that has plagued mankind for centuries: "What if Diogenes was a girlboss?" Examples include:

"At that moment, with my thumbs in his brains, I had a revelation. I had trained far too broadly. Existence and the act of combat are absolutely no different, and the essence of both, the purity of both, is a singular action, which is Cutting Down Your Opponent. You must resolve to train this action. You must become this action. Truly, there is very little else that will serve you as well in this entire cursed world.

I hope that by reading this manual, you will be thoroughly encouraged to become a farmer."

And:

"Consider: The undefeated swordsman must be exceptionally poor.

The weak swordsman reserves his sword strokes. He clings excessively to his blade. His footwork is unsteady. His grip is too hard and he is afraid to crack the earth with his step. He has a shallow and wandering gaze, his tongue is sluggish and pale. He refuses to exhale the hot breath of the Flame Immortal.

The weak swordsman clings to victory. He thinks of his life, his obligations, the outcome of the battle, his hatred for his opponent, his training, his pride in his mastery. By doing so, he is an imperfect vessel for the terrible fires of Will. He will surely crack. He will not laugh uproariously if he is cleft in two by his opponent’s blade. When his sword is shattered, his hands will be too reserved to tear his enemies’ flesh.

The weak swordsman strikes his enemy down and thinks his task done. He relishes in victory. He casts away his sword and returns to his lover. Little does he know his single cut will encircle the world five times and strike him down fifty-fold."

#ask game #txttletale

[prince-jelli-fish]

this was honestly so hard to decide on (ranking reasons under the cut)

S rank: I had to give it the unwound future due to childhood nostalgia and I honestly think it’s a great game. This was one of the first games I ever felt “on the edge of my seat” for. Plus Clive. I’m in love with him. Sue me.

A rank: I still really really love these games. I think they’re both beautifully done and have very captivating characters and stories. There’s very little I would change about them. Plus they’re still using the 2D graphics which I really love and appreciate.

B rank: Both have very solid stories that and fun characters. I love both of these games, but each of them has some story element and/or game play element that brought it down to a B instead of an A for me. 

C rank: I’m super blinded by my love for this series which is why I’ve ranked these three only at a C. I can admit these are objectively bad, but I still adore them. The movie is really well animated and voice acted and its amazing. However the plot is kind of insane. Same goes for the crossover and the azran legacy. Oh...azran legacy. I love this game but even I can admit the plot is (quite literally) all over the place. And don’t even get me started on the crossover. (regardless I love all three and I’m just trying to be more objective about my tastes)

Never played: Sorry I’m a Layton purist. I haven’t played either games or watched the anime... I acknowledge and love the existence of Kat and Alfendi but I kinda refuse to acknowledge their games

#professor layton #the curious village #the diabolical box #the unwound future #the last specter #the miracle mask #the azran legacy #professor layton vs phoenix wright #layton's mystery journey #mystery room

[good-beans]

So uhhhhhhhh @fayesdiary I’m sorry if I keep latching onto this au asdfhasdjh but I literally spent all day thinking about how everyone could have had a much happier ending while still going through and growth and development and Rinea deserved to be a warrior who got her happy ending and Alm deserved his true family and Berkut deserved a happy childhood and ANYWAY I finally finished my oneshot about the Deliverance meeting general Rinea for the first time so yeah :)

The field looked as average as they come: some grass, scattered trees, and the like. As the Deliverance stepped out onto it, they spotted a familiar army on the opposing side. They were imposing, sure, but nothing new to Berkut after their previous fights. He and his comrades were in average shape that day. The weather was tepid. The battle would not have been memorable, Berkut thought, were it not for the Rigelian’s leader at the head of the group. 

The rumors of General Rinea did not do the woman justice. 

Even without her intimidating getup, her posture alone radiated authority and confidence. Despite her young age, she held herself with pride -- perhaps something a little stronger than pride -- and looked down on everything from her horse. Her sapphire armor glinted in the sun. Her hair shone with a paler shade of blue as it flew free in the breeze behind her. A headpiece kept it out of her face, decorated with flowers, vines, and thorns that appeared like a devil’s horns atop her head. A tome glowed in her gloved hand. 

Rinea had been pacing the front lines, looking more collected than most war generals. Berkut glanced at his brother. Sure enough, Alm’s expression was the furthest thing from calm. The young leader surveyed their opponents with nervous eyes. Catching him looking, Alm gave Berkut a confident nod. 

Upon their arrival, Rinea rode out a ways to meet them.

“As I live and breathe…” she mused. “The Deliverance! Well, this is simply delightful.”

For the briefest moment, Berkut was taken aback. The young woman’s voice was oddly sweet in contrast with the rest of her presence. Seeing her up close, he was struck with the realization that she was quite beautiful. The harshness of Rigel had not hardened her like many others. Unlike the cold soldiers she led, Rinea seemed bright, full of life, full of fire. Her looks certainly would have turned heads were she only a pretty lady of the court; but now, strength and leadership simply added to her beauty. 

The young knight quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind. He scolded himself for the foolishness of it. A member of the Deliverance would be wasting his time thinking such things about a deadly enemy… 

“Lady Rinea,” Alm called, his expression grim.

Clive spoke up from behind them, “why have you come here? Your main force has retreated.”

Rinea outstretched a hand in their direction, a smug smile creeping onto her face. She was not attacking, merely addressing him. Regardless, Berkut moved protectively to Alm’s side. 

“I long for sport, you see. I wish to test your might!” She saw the young man move, and she tilted her head. “Ah yes, you must be the troublesome brothers I’ve heard so much about. Sir Mycen’s heirs from the village, as word has it? My, I cannot believe Desaix lost the castle to the likes of you.”

Berkut’s knuckles whitened on his lance as she spoke. All the Rigelians they’d faced were the same, it seemed. He was growing sick of that same look of disgust towards them. After all the Deliverance had sacrificed and worked for, it made his blood boil. 

Alm opened his mouth to speak, but Berkut couldn’t help blurting, “You hold your tongue! You shall not speak of Alm in such a way. Our leader is far more skilled, strong, and noble than your silly emperor can ever dream to be!” The boy knew he was in no place to make such claims about the infamously powerful emperor, but he couldn’t deny the sense of satisfaction at slinging such wild insults. “I do not care for your Rigelian beliefs that we are inferior because of where we hail from.”

The general's icy gaze fell upon him. “I believe no such thing, therefore it shall be you who holds his tongue. I know you have worked harder than anyone to reach here. I must say, I was most impressed by the battle at Zofia Castle.” Her face darkened. “Regardless of your skills, however, Desaix should not have fallen at your hands. I should like to see your strength for myself.”

Alm raised his sword in reply. “Then I suppose we have no choice.” 

The woman’s eyes widened. Although she was quick to cover it, Berkut caught the flash of fear in her expression. “That mark on your left hand… Where did that come from?”

The boy glanced down in confusion. Berkut could feel his stomach sink. No matter how hard he tried to escape the terrible truth, his brother’s past continued to haunt him wherever he went. 

Alm shook his head. “What do you care?! Are you here to fight or not?”

  “No… It cannot be the Brand.” the general said to herself, just barely audible from where Berkut stood. She then raised her voice. “I have worked far too hard for you to take everything from me!” 

With that, she ordered her men to charge.

----------

Berkut watched as Mathilda attacked, the woman’s quick blow knocking Rinea off her horse. The cavalier continued forward; if she remained any longer she’d risk the general’s vengeful magic. 

Rinea pulled herself to her feet, whirling her head around to where Mathilda had gone. She wiped blood from her face. Her rage turned to amusement, however, when she spotted Tobin nearby. The boy was fumbling with an injury to his arm. Her arms crackled with magic as she came closer. 

Berkut tore across the field, planting himself between them. “You shall have to go through me first!” 

Rinea smirked. “You truly think your power can measure up to mine?”

“I have heard much about you,” he replied, “but after you hid away at Zofia Castle, I no longer fear you the same.”

She tipped her head back, giving an unsettlingly sweet laugh. “I have no need to bear these accusations of cowardice. Let us fight and put this to rest, Deliverance scum.”

He lifted his lance, setting his jaw. “My name is Berkut.”

“Well, then, Berkut,” she spread her hands, now alight with fire. “Shall we dance?”

#fe echoes #fire emblem echoes #fe rinea #fire emblem rinea #fe berkut #fire emblem berkut #rose writes! #it was real fun to think about her :0 #and LOL i literally just skipped the fight scenes i did Not feel like writing them #ive had notes on this scene for like 80 years im glad i was finally able to write it out -- it was a lot of fun! #(does berkut ever say Deliverance scum? am i just thinking nohrian scum?) #to add

[not-close-to-straight]

A different drift I'm sure- but Steve being lost not knowing what feels like home is sorta how the pandemic is feeling. Just lost in the abyss.

Man sometimes I wish I could take in information as fast as Steve. Than again reading for fun would be AWFUL. Ouf now you make me crave deep dish and ice cream! Gotta ask, what's your fave flavour?

Honestly I completely relate to Tony and disassociating himself while telling Steve about bucky. I'm sure it has some unhealthy kickbacks but it is good for reigning in emotions and bias. Tony screaming for Pepper when he learned his parents demise truth HURT even if it's just a pass by sentence.

Won't lie, kinda love the visual of Steve being so lost he rips a hydra soldier throat out in rage. Tony really is pulling himself in all the directions, and we all know he doesn't lead a regular 9-5 lifestyle but he's doing pretty damn well regardless.

Oh man, I hadn’t even thought of that but you’re so right. The pandemic has us all stuck between going a hundred miles a minutes trying to figure out whats going on and how to prepare for the worst while simultaneously being stuck not being able to do anything, cut off from friends and family and anything resembling normal... boy howdy. 

So SERIOUSLY about Steve reading. One of the reasons I stopped reading and started writing is because I’m a speed reader and I tend to remember pretty much everything I read. In school that made studying for tests super easy. For fun reading? It’s the worst.  I can get through a Clive Cussler book (or size comparison-- Pirate’s Heart) within a few hours and then never read it again because I remember so much about the story it takes all the fun out of it. And then we have Steve who processes information faster than most servers and it’s not even GOOD information that he’s reading. He’s basically eighty years of everything bad about world history and then gets up from his computer and has to pretend like everything’s fine?? ARGH! 

My favorite flavor of ice cream will always be chocolate chip cookie dough, and then to drive it up a notch-- Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked Brownie Cookie Dough. So many comfort flavors all in a pint sized container I can (and have on multiple occassions) sneak into movie theaters and/or a class. 

UGH THAT LINE about Tony screaming for Pepper. No one else commented on it-- I think it ended up being lost in everything else about that scene but WOW right? It makes his repeated promise to bring Bucky home hurt so much more because we know he screamed for Pepper and was probably inconsolable for hours and had to face some really hard truths about his life and his emotions and what it means for Steve to want Bucky and if he can actually want to be with an Alpha who’s mate killed his Mama and if he can actually live with an Omega who did all those things. Just... wow. Everytime I write something December 91 related it makes me mad all over again how MCU did that moment wrong in CACW. There are about a thousand ways they could have slightly altered that scene to make it less about “Bad Tony lashing out at PTSD soldier” and “Bad Steve betraying and lying to Tony” and every time I write one its like “SEE? THIS IS WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE” 

[chubbyheroesworthyheroes]

If requests are still open, May i request a Drabble to where Forsyth is having too much at it with the food in Alms convoy. (Especially during battle) That he soon ends up to a point where he can no longer support his terms of moving and having python sticking around to just rather tease and help him out. Thanks! ^^

War and everything that came with it was difficult enough, but with the Rigelians having collected so much of the Zofian people’s hard earned food for themselves, and the decline of the Kingdom’s lands on account of losing Mila’s protection, it was made even worse by the Deliverance’s lack of rations. It was rare that they didn’t have to limit what people took from the convoy, and more often than not, someone was set up to guard what little they had -- just in case.

Forsyth had served plenty of hours as a guard for the convoy; not just to safeguard their food, but their weapons and armor as well. If they didn’t protect their supplies, and one of their clashes with the Empire destroyed or otherwise lost them, the Deliverance would be dealt a final death blow. It was a job that he took seriously, even if he would have preferred to be on the field of battle with Sir Clive and Alm. There wasn’t much notoriety to be won from staying towards the rear to guard the supplies, but there was still a knightly honor to protecting the continued survival of his comrades in this way.

Python, of course, didn’t share the same views. Whenever it was his turn to play guard, Forsyth often caught him napping or simply not staying vigilant. And, when confronted about his lack of enthusiasm for the work, would blithely state that they had never had their supplies targeted -- and why would they, when they had so little?

It was aggravating, but it wasn’t really anything new. Forsyth was happy to jump to Clive’s or Alm’s orders, and Python was...less so. It hardly mattered, if it came down to him covering for his old friend’s shifts on guard, he would do so for the good of the Deliverance!

It was easy enough at first. Forsyth was determined to show his strengths -- be it in battle, or elsewhere. He patrolled and frequently double checked their supplies, he even maintained the weaponry and armor that they had in reserves when he had the time. It kept him busy and on task for quite a while, but, eventually, the boredom started to get to him. And, what made the boredom worse, was the gnawing hunger that came with being stuck with an unreliable food source and being forced to remain by that food but unable to have any of it. It took a great deal of his willpower to keep himself on task.

However, one day, Forsyth caved -- much to his great shame.

It hadn’t been much, truthfully. Just a bit of dry bread to fill his achingly empty stomach. It had felt good in the moment -- it had been tough to swallow down on its own, just a step above stale, but a drizzling of honey had made it easier to wolf down. Despite it only being a mouthful or two, it felt like the bread took up so much space in his belly -- of course, some of this was due to a lack of regular eating, but also the building guilt of taking something that had not been rationed out to him. It didn’t take long, Forsyth stewing in his guilt for several hours as he stood guard, for him to think of a way to replace what he had taken. A hunter he was not, but he’d read in a book somewhere about trapping techniques, and vowed to teach himself this skill in order to pay back what he had unrightfully taken.

It took him over a week, but he managed to catch himself a rabbit to add to the stock of food they had. It had been scrawny, but it was something all the same. He hadn’t really thought of keeping up the habit of trapping; it was hard to set up and check them when they were on the move, and with the odd changes in the land, there weren’t as many animals around to easily hunt. But, it seemed that someone else had taken notice of what he had done, as when he went to tally up everything one evening, there were some additions. A couple of fruit, a few small birds. It was small things, things found as they marched on from place to place. Still, it was odd, but Forsyth kept it to himself in case him bringing it up to anyone else might scare the mysterious procurer off.

It was more important that they have more supplies than it was to go off trumpeting about this anyway.

And if he swiped one of the fruits, popping it into his mouth easily, it was also not spoken of.

Things went on as such. Every week or so, Forsyth would find more and more getting added to their stores of food -- most notably when he was scheduled to be on guard duty. Whoever was behind this had an obvious motive of getting his attention. Upon first realizing this, he stubbornly avoided any of the food. But, it was hard to avoid the temptation forever when it was right there, begging to be taken and practically gift wrapped just for him. He fought off the urge to sneak food for as long as he could, but once again, the bite of hunger had him nicking some of the smaller morsels that he could quickly and cleanly gobble down without much fear of their disappearance being noticed.

This was, of course, a slippery slope. One or two small things turned into half of something a bit bigger, and then all of that slightly bigger thing, which evolved into him simply taking whatever additional and non-reported food items suddenly appeared when he checked.

It was a guilty pleasure in every sense of the phrase. Guilt for taking more than his fair share, but pleasure from how the food tasted and filled up his growling stomach. And it didn’t take long for that temporary full stomach to start developing into something more…

While Forsyth had never been incredibly muscular, he also hadn’t been scrawny either. However, this very middle of the road physique made it very obvious that all the extra food he was getting into wasn’t being worked off.

His face had filled out a little bit, the hint of a double chin coming in. His shoulders had rounded with soft pudge that lead into pillowy arms, the soft flesh of his upper arms squishing out of his short-sleeved tunic like overstuffed sausages from their stressed casings. His chest had softened and plumped up significantly, giving Forsyth embarrassingly hand-overfilling moobs that would peak out the edges of his breastplate -- at least, back when he could still get his fitted armor on. While he wasn’t as heavily armored as some, his climbing weight made it near impossible to wear most of it regardless. 

Even without his growing chest taking up space, Forsyth’s belly had gone from lean to something quite tremendous. The more food he snuck away into his stomach, the more fat accumulated on his middle and the hungrier he got; an endless cycle of stuffing himself with the growing amount of extra food in their supplies. This only caused his stomach to balloon further out as the days wore on. Where it had first started off as just a slight pooch to his middle, it quickly grew large enough to make it impossible to wear his breastplate and severely stressed his clothes, and it only kept growing from there. His gut was marred with angry red marks from his burgeoning growth, his belly button deep enough to sink your fingers in to the knuckle; its sheer mass swayed in a chaotic rhythm whenever he lumbered about, meaty slaps sounding from his underbelly as it smacked against his thighs.

The one thing he could be somewhat thankful for was that his lower half hadn’t been hit too hard by his gorging. While his ass had certainly bumped up in size, it wasn’t anywhere near as noticeable as his middle or even his tits. His thighs were chunky and they brushed up against each other whenever he moved, but their malleable bulk didn’t get too much in the way.

Really, the big problem was simply how heavy he was, and how utterly out of shape he’d managed to become. It was a complete shame, and Forsyth couldn’t even be bothered to hide his embarrassment as he’d practically eaten himself clear out of his dream to become a knight on the same level as Sir Clive. He still did what he could to aid the Deliverance on the battlefield, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. He’d huff and puff at the back of their forces, rarely if ever managing to take out any of the enemy, but still plodding along as best he could for what little was left of his honor and pride.

Honestly, the worst of trying to fight at his size came when he simply hit his limit of endurance, his weight dragging him down to the dusty earth with a gasp and a wheeze. Coming to his aid had been none other than Python, his aim true as ever as he shot the Empire soldier who had been looking to capitalize on Forsyth’s collapse.

“Hey there, big fella, need some cover?” Python drawled as he idly checked to make sure the soldier was down for good, tacking on a slightly snide, “A whole lotta cover, nowadays, huh?”

Forsyth would have argued with him, but he was out of breath and awfully hungry; they’d been marching for some time before this skirmish even broke out, and he’d not had time to fill up on his usual breakfast staples. “Spare me your attitude, Python,” he huffed out, leaning back in order to suck in larger breaths and not feel like his gut was crushing his lungs as he did so.

Python merely gave him a smarmy sort of look, posture lazy as he surveyed the battle pushing on without them.

“Y’know, they probably wouldn’t even notice if the two of us went back to camp. I’ve done...most of my share of the work out here, and you sure seem like you need to sit your fluffy self down and have a rest,” the bowman continued, already sauntering around his porcine friend’s side to shove at his -- soft, plush, squishy -- back like he was some sort of farm animal in need of a little motivation to get up and moving.

Forsyth was beside himself with how that fact wasn’t too far off now.

“We cannot just leave our comrades on their own--” he began to chide irately, grunting and making all sorts of ungodly sounds as he struggled his way back to his aching feet with Python’s less than helpful help. Forsyth was sure the man had prompted all this just in order to watch him flounder about like a ridiculously fat fish out of water.

“Ah, don’t worry about them. They’re totally fine without us,” Python hummed, rummaging around for a quick moment in order to produce something he’d been saving for just the right moment -- which this seemed to be. A sweet, sugar dusted berry tart that he’d haggled for in the last town over. He carefully waved the treat in Forsyth’s face, watching amusement as the green clad man almost started to drool at the mere sight of the little sweetie.

Check and mate. He could spend the rest of the time watching Forsyth stuff his chubby face and not do a lick of work back at base camp while the others cleaned up on the battlefield.

A real win-win in Python’s opinion.

#fattyemblem #male weight gain #male wg #chubby!forsyth #this feels like its probably wildly ooc #but i still havent gotten back into echoes & i barely got to see much of python or forsyth whoops #but i hope its enjoyable regardless!!!

[radramblog]

WA election aftermath

The aftermath of an election is always a tenuous time, with seats in doubt for some time well after the election is called, and a massive number of people effectively gaining and losing their jobs. In a two-party system, there’s always a winner and a loser, and as a result at least one side is going to have emotions running high.

I’d like to delicately consider the results of this election, and the potential impacts of such on the state. With that in mind…..

Holy shit I knew this was going to be an easy labor blowout but I didn’t expect that kind of result.

I don’t think I’ve seen a bigger blowout in any election, ever. It’s absolutely farcical. I love it. I can’t stop grinning thinking about it. The Liberal Party got fucked. This feels like vengeance for all those years suffering under Premier Barnett, cunt as he was.

Alright, bit more seriousness, let’s break it down.

Labor

Labor winning this election was pretty much a matter of course. There was no universe in which they didn’t succeed, even the opposition knew that. The people have seen the state government’s response to COVID-19, and how well it went for us, and saw the opposition dragging their heels and arguing against them, which is not a good look. I think there are three big things that brought Labor so far forward this election, and I genuinely think that COVID-19 was one of them- it might literally have been the best thing to happen to WA Labor last year, and I mean that without a hint of irony.

The second big thing was Clive Palmer. More specifically, that WA Labor got to have Clive Palmer as an enemy. Now I don’t know about over east, but it’s presumably less pronounced since he got a couple seats there at some point. But Clive Palmer is monstrously unpopular over here, and his attempt at subverting WA border restrictions for his own ends was not something anyone wanted to see- so the current government completely shutting him out was very welcomed. I do genuinely think that the dislike for Clive Palmer gave WA Labor a huge advantage, since they were the ones standing up to him. We all saw his fucking annoying advertisements 2 years ago in the Federal election, and we kicked his farce of a party out then- it’s no surprise that we don’t want him around now.

Last but certainly not least, of course, there is Premier McGowan. Marky boy is probably the most approved-of politician I can think of in recent memory, cultivating a minor cult of personality that isn’t locked to one side of the political compass like, say, Trump’s. That does, of course, leave him as a bit of a centrist, which is not exactly great in my eyes, but it could be a lot worse.

Labor now has a massive amount of power, holding every seat they had and gaining many more. And while the opposition is rather weak, it’s likely that any influence the Libs/Nats would try to have isn’t something I’d want to see anyway. Regardless, now that the immediate threat of election is over, Labor does need to be held accountable for mistakes they make, because they are far from perfect- McGowan’s position on fracking is a good example.

Liberal

I never thought I’d feel any form of sympathy for a Liberal leader, but it’s hard not to feel sorry for Zak Kirkup. He’s a relatively young politician essentially thrown out as a lamb to the slaughter, becoming the first Labor/Liberal leader in 90 years to lose their own seat in a state election.

With that said, I feel no reason to similarly sympathise with the remainder of the party losing their seats. They’ve got to rebuild now, with a maximum of 3 seats to work with, which leads me to believe they’re going to need a complete redo of their positions/branding/policy if they want to succeed next time around. They might end up straying dramatically from their political positions, which could be good, or it could be very bad.

I’m interested to see what happens to the Liberal party in the coming weeks. But I suspect they aren’t going to be especially relevant in government for some time.

Nationals

The Nats look set to become the new opposition, a sentence I never thought I’d say or write, but it does sort of make sense. If the Liberal party continues to suffer, they may end up in that position for quite some time, which would make WA a pretty unique political landscape in the country as far as I am aware (hahah I don’t know shit about other states politics)

I’m not super aware of Nats policies aside from their regional focus, which doesn’t apply too much to me specifically. But if their regional focus includes big business operating in rural WA (which a lot of it does) then colour me disinterested. If they are the major opposition, though, then I’m expecting some amount of increased regional spending on Labor’s behalf as appeasement, or to get them to agree to other bills. We’ll see.

Greens

If you go by total vote counts, the Greens actually have a fair few more than the Nationals- but that’s not exactly how that works, is it. We didn’t have any seats, but hey, at least that means we didn’t lose any seats.

Maybe next time, folks.

Others

At time of writing, the third most dramatic swing in votes was in One Nation, everyone’s favourite xenophobes- except, it’s a 3.7% swing away from them, which is huge considering they now only have 1.2% of the votes. It felt like at the last election we kicked Pauline’s grotty arse out of the state, but now I’d be surprised if they made much of a reappearance here at all.

The fact that the No Mandatory Vaccination party has the 5th most votes total is both staggering and terrifying. They’re still about a third of the Nationals, but that such a fucking hellscape of a party got that high upsets me greatly- especially since I don’t want to know where their preferences ended up.

The WAxit party only has about 4000 votes, so I guess we aren’t seceding after all. But hey, apparently more people want to vote for that than to legalise weed (by ~1500 votes), so they’ve got that going for them.

At time of writing, the Animal Justice Party, the Daylight Savings Party, the Health Australia Party, and the Great Australian Party (which I only found out afterwards is an offshoot of One Nation) all have exactly 0 votes counted for them. Better luck next time, or better yet, just don’t bother next time.

#ramble #perth #politics #the first sentence of this accidentally got Dandelion by Boards of Canada stuck in my head #the preparation for a dive is always a tense time #also i accidentally posted this on my main which I never ever use and transferring it over was a pain

[ft-dads-au]

Birthday Wish

A big thank you to @watcher-ofthe-sky​ for letting us use her fanart of Igneel’s scarf! 

Natsu Day 2020 Pairing(s): Natsu & Erza, Natsu & Gildarts A collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​ 

AO3  | FF.Net

Summary: When Natsu wakes up on his birthday he has a simple wish: to spend a nice day with Erza and his father.

July 7, 2003

Natsu felt the warmth of the sun's early rays trickling through his bedroom window, signaling the start of a new day, but he ignored it, choosing to keep his eyes closed. Today was his birthday, but he had no idea what to expect.

Every year since he could remember, his parents would come into his bedroom on his birthday to wake him up. His father would sing Happy Birthday in Fiorean, and then he'd launch into renditions of birthday songs from his native Alvarez. Natsu had never really understood the words themselves, but he'd always enjoyed it regardless. It had always been one of his favorite parts of the day, and he found himself hoping for it, even though he knew that with his mother gone, it was unlikely.

Everything had changed since she'd died last August. His dad - who had always had a joke or a funny story at the ready - was now sad pretty much all the time. Whenever he wasn't at work, he spent most of his time sitting in an armchair and staring off into space.

His older sister Erza was doing her best to fill the void created by their mom's absence. She'd been learning how to cook, do laundry, and all the other chores their mom used to take care of. There was no more time for games or pretend, leaving Natsu feeling adrift. He tried to do as much as he could, helping out with the chores and attempting to put a smile on his dad's face, but nothing seemed to change.

Regardless, Natsu had always been a bit of an optimist, so he remained in his bed with his eyes closed.

Wishing.

Waiting.

Allowing himself the barest flicker of hope that his dad would walk into his room at any moment.

He wanted today to be a good day. He didn't even care about presents, although, of course, that would be nice. The only thing he craved this year was to have a nice day with his dad and sister. So he waited and waited and waited some more until the heat underneath the covers became stifling, and he had no choice but to admit that his dad wasn't going to come.

Trying not to let that affect him, Natsu got up, making his bed to keep Erza from having to do it. He decided to go to him instead. Maybe if he asked nicely, his dad would still do it. He rushed through brushing his teeth, thinking about the words he would say. Stepping out of the bathroom and into the hallway, he walked to his father's bedroom, working up his courage as he got nearer.

But he never got the chance as Erza came out of their father's bedroom and closed the door behind her, standing in front of it with a face Natsu had come to recognize. Erza was disappointed. Still, she smiled brightly when her gaze fell on him.

"There you are! I was getting ready to come get you!" she exclaimed, her voice too cheerful, her smile too quick for him to trust that everything was okay, "Happy Birthday, I can't believe you're nine already!"

As she led him away from the room and down the stairs, she chattered nonstop about everything they were going to do to celebrate. Natsu looked back at the door, an unexplainable sense of dread coming over him at the sight.

The next thing he knew, he was sitting at the breakfast nook, staring at a huge breakfast of pancakes and bacon.

"Isn't dad coming to eat?"

"Nah, he was tired, maybe he'll feel up to it later," Erza muttered in between bites, her eyes fixed on the pancakes on her plate.

"Okay," Natsu shrugged and dug in, it wouldn't be the first time that had happened.

They cleared the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher for later.

"Would you like your present?" Erza asked shyly.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Natsu replied, but his grin was enough to show he sure as hell didn't mind.

Erza rolled her eyes at him, grabbing some sort of wrapped cylinder from the coat closet at the foot of the stairs and shoving it at him.

Whatever it was, Natsu could tell she was really excited about it, reminding him of other birthdays. "It's not another dragon onesie, is it?" he teased, unwrapping the present as slowly as he could manage, knowing that it would drive her crazy.

He didn't last long, his curiosity and excitement overriding his need to be a brat, and soon he was looking at a foam practice sword like the ones that Erza used in her lessons.

"Wow! This is awesome!" Natsu moved it from arm to arm getting a feel for its weight, and soon he began making practice slashes.

"Wanna spar?" Erza asked, grabbing one of her swords from the same closet and pointing it at him.

"Sure!"

She taught him the basics, enough for them to play around, pretending to be pirates fighting over treasure. Their squeals of laughter getting louder and louder until Natsu had to ask, "Shouldn't we be quieter?"

"Oh, yeah," Erza agreed, but rather than being quiet, she stopped altogether. "We should get started on your cake."

Natsu followed her into the kitchen, "You're gonna let me help?!"

"Well yeah, Mom taught you all her tricks. We want it to be a yummy cake, don't we?"

Natsu nodded eagerly, "It's not hard, I'll show you!"

They worked together until they were both satisfied with the results, giggling at their batter covered faces. They cleaned up while the cake baked, with Erza fixing them sandwiches while they waited.

The cake came out looking pretty nice, and they set about making frosting, with Erza determined it needed to be pink to match his hair, although she had also pulled out some strawberries from the refrigerator to decorate the top.

It had been a great day, but there was still something missing, something he desperately wanted. He couldn't help thinking that as much fun as they'd had Erza had kept him busy every moment of the day, almost as if she were trying to keep him away from their dad. And shouldn't he have come down to eat at least? They'd had two meals already, and unlike at breakfast when there had been plenty of food for all three of them, Erza had only made sandwiches for the two of them.

That sense of foreboding came back even stronger as he wondered what Erza was trying to keep him from. So while she was putting frosting on the cake, he snuck away, wanting to find out what was going on and hoping desperately that all that was wrong was that his dad was hungover again.

He had reached the stairs when there was a knocking at the door. Natsu was surprised to see Erza answer, they weren't supposed to do that without an adult present.

Two people came in, one was a policewoman, the other a tall man who was studying Erza and him as well.

"Are you kids alright?" the policewoman asked his sister.

"Yes, we're fine," Erza sounded polite like she always did with adults, but all Natsu could do was watch in fascination and dread.

"Is there an adult here with you?"

Erza remained silent, and it was clear that she was struggling with what to say.

"Of course there is!" Natsu yelled, full of indignation at the implication, "Our dad is upstairs."

It was Erza's flinch that did it. Every single doubt he'd had that day returned full force, and no matter how much he struggled to quiet it, it wouldn't go away.

He had to go upstairs, needed to show these people that they could go wherever they came from because his dad was right there. And soon, he would come downstairs and sing him Happy Birthday, and they would eat the cake that Natsu and Erza had made together.

"Son, you need to come with us," the policewoman said, earning a glare from the other man.

"You don't need to do anything yet," the other man assured him, "My name is Gildarts Clive, I am a social worker from the Magnolia Department of Social Services. I've been sent here to make sure that you are safe and that there is someone here to take care of you. That's all."

He smiled at both of them, and Natsu relaxed slightly, "Now, what are your names?"

"I'm Erza Dragneel, and that's my little brother, Natsu," Erza answered for both of them, her voice sounding wooden, and just like when they were eating pancakes that morning, she wouldn't look at him.

"Tell you what, Natsu," Gildarts walked towards him slowly, holding both his hands in front of him, "Why don't you and I go upstairs to talk to your dad, and if he's there like you say, then we'll go right away, okay?"

Natsu thought it over and nodded, that sounded reasonable enough.

"If he isn't up there, though, I'm going to help you pick out some things, and we'll take you to stay somewhere safe until he returns."

That part not so much, but Natsu was sure he had nothing to worry about, so he once again nodded in agreement.

"Good man," Gildarts smiled and gestured at Natsu to lead the way to his father's room, following him up the stairs.

Natsu stood in front of the door, but he couldn't seem to make his hand move to open it. Gildarts knocked on it and waited for an answer. When none came, he called out.

"Mr. Dragneel, this is Gildarts Clive from the Magnolia Department of Social Services, if you're in there, I need you to answer me."

They both waited in tense silence, but once again, there was nothing, only the quiet sound of Erza crying as the policewoman asked her lots of questions.

"Alright, Mr. Dragneel, I'm going to have to open this door. I apologize for the intrusion," Gildarts peered down at Natsu as if waiting for his approval.

He must have done something for Gildarts was opening the door, and Natsu rushed in wishing to hear his father complain, but Erza's tears had been enough for him to realize what he would find. His father wasn't there. The black and white checkered scarf he always wore sat neatly folded on the bed, along with a gift-wrapped box and a card.

Natsu found he couldn't move, and as much as he hated to feel Gildarts' gaze on him, he was almost grateful when the man picked him up and sat him on the bed before inspecting his father's closet and bathroom.

"It looks like those are for you," Gildarts prodded, sitting next to him, "Don't you want to open them?"

He shook his head, "Not before he sings me Happy Birthday."

"It's your birthday today?"

Gildarts studied him again before sighing, "Why don't you show me to your room? I'll help you get some things together. We don't know where your dad is right now, but we'll leave a note downstairs and a card. If he comes back-"

"He's going to come back!" Natsu screamed, making Gildarts startle.

"Sorry, my bad, when he comes back, we'll have a talk with him and get this all sorted out, okay?"

Natsu could hear Erza coming up the stairs, the policewoman following close behind, and when they passed his room to get to hers, he wanted so much to be angry with her for keeping this from him. But he couldn't. She must have been upset too, but she'd spent all day trying to make his birthday the absolute best she could given what she'd known. How could he fault her for that?

Natsu followed Gildarts to his room, watching listlessly as he packed some of his clothes into a bag. He let his eyes wander over his walls, which were covered with posters of dragons of all kinds. Models he'd built with his dad over the years sat on his bookcase, all vestiges of happier times.

His throat felt like it had a weight on it, but still, he didn't cry. Just took everything in and wondered what had happened. How did everything go so wrong in such a short time? It wasn't that long ago that he'd had a mother who had loved him and a father who - hadn't needed to be found.

Natsu refused to believe that he was gone for good. This wasn't the first time he'd left for a couple of days. He always came back, bringing presents and apologizing for his absence, and then everything would be better for a few days.

Natsu had no idea where his father went during these times, but they seemed to do him good, and that's all that mattered to him. That's what this was, he was sure of it. And with that thought, he relaxed. He'd just have to make sure he was here when his father came back.

Natsu understood this wasn't a fight he could win. He had no choice but to go with these people, but that didn't mean he had to stay.

Once Gildarts was done, he offered him his hand, and Natsu took it, allowing himself to be led.

"Are you sure you don't want to open that present, kid?" Gildarts asked him again.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright, but at least take this," Gildarts left him in the hallway and Natsu waited patiently, confused when he saw the social worker holding his father's scarf, "It might make you feel better in a strange place."

Natsu doubted it, but he nodded and let Gildarts wrap it around his neck. He'd just give it back to his dad when he saw him.

Erza came out of her room with a bag of her own. She searched his eyes and then hid behind her bangs, "I'm so sorry, Natsu. I had to."

"It's okay," he assured her, and wanting to let her know how much he appreciated everything she'd done for him, he added, "I had fun today, thank you."

For some reason he didn't get that seemed to make her cry again. Gildarts walked over to her, whispering some words that Natsu didn't catch, but they seemed to make her feel better.

They were led out of their home and placed in the back of a vehicle. Gildarts had grabbed the cake and brought it along with them, but Natsu didn’t want it anymore. Erza seemed afraid, but Natsu wasn't worried. Everything would be fine as soon as their dad came back.

He was sure of it.

0-0

Gildarts had been right about one thing, wearing his father’s scarf did make him feel better. It reassured him whenever they were moved from house to house and he wore it all the time. Natsu didn’t feel at home anywhere, and soon he closed himself off to everyone but Erza and Gildarts. No matter how nice the people were, and sometimes they were, they weren’t his parents and he wanted no part of them.

For two years, he stubbornly ran away from every foster family social services placed him and Erza. It made no difference to him how far away it was, he would make his way back to Magnolia, returning to their real home, determined that his father would come back for them.

He'd fought anyone who said any different, including Gildarts, who had been on the receiving end of his anger more than once.

He was the one who would invariably come and drag Natsu back to his foster home, always managing to keep him out of trouble. It did nothing to lessen Natsu's determination, and no matter how much Erza begged him to stop, he couldn't let it go.

Until the night Makarov Dreyar had shown up in Gildarts' stead.

He introduced himself as Gildarts' father and explained that Gildarts had gone back into the military. He would no longer be able to protect Natsu from the consequences of his constant rule-breaking, so he'd made arrangements for his parents to become their new foster parents.

Makarov even promised to bring Natsu to the house whenever he wanted, as long as he promised to stop sneaking out in the middle of the night.

Natsu wanted to fight, to say that the only home he needed was right behind him, but he had to admit he was drained. The news that he wouldn't even have Gildarts anymore hit him hard. As much as he fought with the social worker, he couldn’t deny that he'd taken a liking to him. Gildarts had been a steady presence in his life, always willing to listen and Natsu had enjoyed the time he got to spend with him, even when he was in trouble.

Now he’d abandoned Natsu as well. But he knew that wasn't exactly fair. Gildarts had left, and it did hurt, but he’d made sure that in his absence, Natsu and Erza were taken care of by someone he trusted. Something their own father hadn't done.

And that's when Natsu remembered Erza's words the day they had been taken away, the apology he'd thought was for lying to him about their dad's absence. For not being able to give him the birthday he'd hoped for.

I'm so sorry, Natsu. I had to.

It had been Erza who had called Social Services on them.

Now that he thought about it, she hadn't acted at all surprised when they had shown up at their door. The realization dismayed him, but he knew in his heart that it was the truth. And he had to wonder why she’d done it.

Erza was not one to give up easily. She must have somehow recognized that Igneel wasn't coming back from wherever he went this time. Or maybe she just accepted that she couldn't take care of them on her own anymore. Either way, she had made the tough decision to ask for help, to ensure that they were cared for, just like Gildarts had.

Erza had accepted the truth two years ago, and Natsu realized that maybe it was time he did too.

If Igneel hadn't come back to them yet, it was quite likely he never would.

Erza had given them a chance at another life, and now Gildarts had offered them a home with his own family. But all Natsu had accomplished with his denial was to hurt himself and put them at risk of being separated. He didn’t want to do that anymore.

Natsu finally let himself cry for all the things he'd lost while Makarov comforted him as best he could.

"So, do we have a deal?" Makarov asked when Natsu was done.

“Yeah,” he sniffled, “There’s just something I want to get from inside.”

Makarov flashed him an approving grin and fished around in his pocket, extracting the house key and presenting it to him, “Gildarts hoped you’d say that.”

#fairy tail #ftdadsau #natsu dragneel #natsu & erza #natsu & gildarts #fics #natsu day

[djemsostylist]

An Arthurian Film Adventure, Part 2: The Arthurs

How do you rank King Arthurs (Kings Arthur?)?  I mean, it certainly seems like the question of “What King Arthur is the Best King Arthur” is going to come down to pure nitpicking.  I mean, after all, the movies are about King Arthur and His Knights of the Round Table.  Surely King Arthur would be the character we put the most care and concern into, right?  Surely Arthur, a Good King and Noble Knight who United a Kingdom would be an easy character to create, especially when the movie is literally about him?

WRONG.  So, so terribly wrong my friends.  King Arthur is, in fact, often the worst parts of the movies I watched, and ranking them was easy only in so much as he was literally only an actual character in like, two of them.  I mean, sure he ~existed in the others, but did he have a character?  I mean no.  I have ranked our King Arthurs below. (Under a cut for length)

1. Camelot (1967)

This King Arthur is the best King Arthur, and not just because he is played by Richard Harris.  Firstly, he is one of only two King Arthurs who actually does anything independently without being literally coached by Merlin or taking 60+ years.  Also, he actually has a character, which seems like it should be a foregone conclusion, but is really, really not.  When we meet Arthur in this movie, he is young and energetic and full of ideas for his kingdom.  He does listen to Merlin, but he has his own ideas and thoughts and feelings.  He’s full of a sort of boyish earnestness, and his excitement and enthusiasm are infectious.  In fact, it’s his enthusiasm, vision, and convictions which here allow Guinevere to fall in love with him as a person, not just as a King.  He is friendly and kind and outgoing, and his initial meeting with Lancelot is full of joy and happiness at meeting someone else who is as excited about his kingdom as he is.  

As we progress through the movie, we can see the toll kingship takes, and his interactions with both Mordred and Lancelot and Guinevere are full of melancholy regret over lives that might have been lived.  Mordred is mentally unstable, but Arthur is kind and loving, and it is clear that while he might regret the circumstances of Mordred’s birth, he in no way resents Mordred.  Even his treatment of Guinevere and Lancelot is kind and understanding.  They all love each other, and he is aware of their affection for each other, but he also trusts them completely.  There is this truly wonderful scene where you can see how much he cares for both of them, and how much the situation hurts him, both because he wants them to be happy, but also knows that there is no easy solution to their love for each other.  Even the song he sings with Guinevere in this scene is the two of them trying to find happiness amidst their grief, acknowledging their love and how much simpler things were in the past. 

The Arthur who condemns them to die is grief stricken and heart broken, a king whose kindness and belief in the kindness of others is what ultimately leads to his downfall.  This Arthur is one who it is easy to see as a High King.  He is kind, competent, and has a plan and vision for the kingdom and the ability to bring it about.  It’s truly a tragedy when everything falls apart.  

Attractiveness: This is the second hottest Arthur, because while young Marcus Aurelius could get it, that haircut is a choice I don’t approve of. 

2. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

While this King Arthur is Uther’s son and also the rightful king of England, he also grows up as a streetkid in a brothel, and speaks kind of like a chav.  However, despite the truly bizarre backstory, this Arthur really is very much like Camelot’s Arthur, or the Arthur of the tales.  He is kind and caring and charismatic, and he is also excellent at understanding people.  He inspires loyalty, and he is able to easily gather people to him.  Here, Arthur’s skills are shown through his relationship with his merry band of friends rather than Guinevere and Lancelot, and true, he isn’t actually a king until the last 35 seconds.  

But if this is an origin story only, I can see this Arthur becoming the Arthur of legends.  He is brave and a touch reckless, but he also values the lives of others above his own.  He cares for people, regardless of station, and he is good at making plans and creating his own future.  

Attractiveness: This is obviously the hottest Arthur, because Charlie Hunnam.  Also, he is weirdly only the 2nd blond Arthur.

3. Knights of the Round Table (1954)

So, this Arthur is fine in that he is a king who obviously people like, and he is kind and also does rule a kingdom so I guess he’s pretty good at his job.  Also, one time he gave Lancelot a “friendship” ring because he loved him so much, so that was pretty great.  

Other than that, this Arthur comes in third mostly because he is blandly boring enough not to be offensive, and he doesn’t do anything actively stupid.  Also, he is actually Arthur, so that alone earns him third place.  

Attractiveness: I guess 4th place, in that he’s less attractive than Clive Owen here, but I think only because the actor who plays him usually has dark brown hair and when they dyed it blond for the role he ended up looking like a straight up corpse.  

3. Excalibur (1981)

Sigh.  Look, this gets 4th place ONLY because the other two are so terribly bad.  This Arthur here is mostly just supremely stupid.  He has the charisma of a rock, and also is just deeply, deeply stupid.  Like, when he pulls the sword from the stone, despite literally being at a meeting where people are actively trying to pull the sword to try and become king, he still does the whole “oop this seems like a useful sword” which is honestly just makes him seem extremely dumb.  His dumbness does not improve, I mean, he literally only makes peace because Excalibur uses some magical mind tricks on Uriens, and he literally marries Guinevere because he thinks she is pretty (which I know is sort of canonical re: Malory but also makes for a dumb story.)  His knights pretty much don’t respect him and he is mostly deeply forgettable.   

Attractiveness: Literally last place.  I cannot even.  All the makeup and costuming choices in this movie serve to make otherwise ordinary looking people look hideous.  This movie is literally so offensively ugly, I just.

4. First Knight (1994)

Okay, this movie is actually the worst thing, except that the 2004 movie exists.  In this, Arthur is like, in his mid sixties.  He has spent literally the past 50 years trying to unite England and has succeeded in uniting no one.  He has a tenuous hold on Camelot, which is just a tiny city.  He had like, maybe 15 knights of the Round Table, and they function as less of a fellowship then some sort of strange praetorian guard.  He has literally no friends and is halfway to death's door.  He marries Guinevere, the daughter of his friend, because he is old and sad and just doesn’t want to be alone anymore.  He does absolutely nothing of worth in this whole movie, and then he just dies in the end.  The only thing that keeps him from being dead last is the fact that he is Uther Pendragon’s son and an actual Briton and also has a Round Table in a city of Camelot.  That’s literally it. 

Attractiveness: I mean, it’s Sean Connery.  He reminds me a little of my grandfather, plus I literally hated this Arthur, so I didn’t find him attractive but. He ranks above Excalibur Arthur only because he doesn’t look like he got dressed in the leftovers from a donation box that was left in the rain, and also because his beard is acceptable and he sounds like Sean Connery. 

5. King Arthur (2004)

Okay, so the thing is, this isn’t King Arthur?  Like, at all?  It’s some roman dude named Arturius, and he mostly just like rides around doing Roman things?  I’ll be honest here, this movie was boring af so I sort of deeply tuned out in the last hour and a half, but considering he was a) not a king, b) not British, c) didn’t have a Round Table with Knights, and d) didn’t have Camelot, I’m gonna rank him as the worst Arthur since he wasn’t even Arthur at all.  

Attractiveness: I mean, they worked pretty hard not to make Clive Owen look like a lawyer here.  A for effort.  3rd hottest Arthur.  

6. Monty Python doesn’t rate, because it fucking sucks.

#arthurian legend #arthuriana #king arthur #an arthurian film adventure #djem reads arthurian legends