#this is a different one for me

[cryscendo]

Honestly, what can you say about a 19-year-old who dies?

@giftober 2023 | day 15: grief

#giftober2023 #kurt hummel #finn hudson #glee #furt #my stuff #my edit #100 #gleeedit #kehedit #kurthummeledit #finnhudsonedit #episode: the quarterback #and others #this is a different one for me

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

#aka: genuinely sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe and simply watched/read different things #full disclosure it does make you feel like a killjoy sometimes #because often times these fanons will be presented in a silly jokey manner #'oh so silly isn't this character so funny this is just my silly little headcanon' #and it's like yes yes lol lol but ok look me in the eyes and tell me you know that this is #at best only one interpretation of many and at worst simply not supported by the text at all #please tell me you know that #or in one specific example such a ubiquitous joke that is literally a significant theme of the work and i feel like SUCH a killjoy #being like 'ok yes very funny.....you know that was a major theme right?? tell me you know that'

[gideonisms]

I LOVE being alive so I can be mediocre at SO many different hobbies

#this isn't sarcasm at all i love to try different tasks i get mediocre at a new thing every year #i love to learn about other people's hobbies!! #i am having a great time #there are so many things to do who can blame me for getting distracted from life tasks that are boring when there are all these fun ones

[burquillos]

Zoro being yeeted and manhandled by Luffy is peak comedy to me

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #the slapstick comedy in one piece never fails to make me laugh #but the specific brand of zoro-luffy rough housing hits different

[ashleyloob]

every time I see non Asians go by Asian names online I get whiplash bc I'm like o shit another one of me!! then I find out they are a white weeb from Arkansas going by Haru that can't name more than 3 countries in Asia

#ppl used to make fun of me for my ethnic name so now i go by a western one.... #but now i guess ethnic names are cool again as long as ur not that ethnicity? we have come full circle #huge difference between cultural appreciation and surface level fetishization btw #this is specifically talking about those that dont actually respect asian culture & use it as an aesthetic or accessory

[tragedykery]

I ❤️ self-loathing characters, characters who struggle with monstrosity (either fearing or embracing it), characters who are so lonely, who have a gaping hole in their chest, who bottle up & repress their feelings, who claw their way up & have ambitions, who fall down & lose everything, who search for identity & purpose yet can’t see themselves outside of what others want from or expect of them, who are hurt & hurt others, who long & grieve, who lie & pretend. characters who are messy & flawed & human

#edit: please don’t tag this with hp characters it makes me very uncomfortable. and if you really want to at least block me after #tropes #I’m just saying words but. Ugh #elli rambles #this isn’t about one character in particular #more like snippets of different characters #sokka tané priya malini azula sabran ty lee etc etc #niclays too. sadly #I hate him (lovingly) #or I love him (hatingly). I haven’t decided yet #alternatively: I ❤️ ampersands #breached containment (derogatory) #a

[kithj]

good games i've played on itchio lately:

please tell me you love me - chat with your guild members for the last time before the game's servers are shut down

GIRLKILLER (covet) - there is a girl who looks like you, and today you're going to kill her

cover me in leaves - stuck in your small hometown, you get your first tattoo. and then a few more, and more, and more

don't rock the boat - play through the different perspectives of a women's crew team as they are stalked by something in the water

GUTLESS - you are the captain of a deep sea vessel. your mission doesn't go well

so, about last night... - you wake up sick and weirdly hungry after hooking up with someone at a party. you spend the next night trying to find her.

close the window, my love - short bitsy poem about closing the window. sound on! this creator has a lot of short bitsy works i recommend.

there is a beautiful star - just a short, cute side scroller. lots of short, lighthearted games from them, definitely recommend for a mood booster.

#these are all p short except for so about last night gutless and rock the boat #still not super long tho #these are all on my itch page too but whatever lmfao #also cringe i feel so awkward writing descriptions but i dont really have a lot to say personally #except. Good Game 👍 #also sorry recommending gutless a second time sue me #i think girlkiller is my favorite atm... i like the ambiguity in that one and two different endings #games

[bumbleboa]

I saw one scruffy older Cora-san design and had to draw my take on it immediately, with a bonus Law to fill space.

You can say a lot of things about One Piece Odyssey, but it did give us a Law & Cora tag-team fight in which Law shambled to the location of Cora's bullets and that is just objectively cool.

#one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar d. water law #donquixote rosinante #my art #one piece height differences are a wild time #I also gave everyone eyebrows because I can't believe Oda keeps robbing his characters of them #I also gave Cora only a feather collar because I did not want to draw an entire feather cloak #first ever cora I have drawn and he isn't even on model #that feels about right for me

[trashy-greyjoy]

sometimes, it's not so much about the romance as it is about the devotion. the adoration.

#pacific rim #black sails #the x-files #the bear #game of thrones #raleigh x mako #jack x anne #msr #sydcarmy #theonsa #i could go on forever i think #for me personally it is also about the romance and i do think they should all kiss and be in love but thats not THE POINT- #*adam scott meme* its about the vulnerability and unconditional care one has with someone else #how many different ways can i make this same post lets count

[lylahammar]

Falin isn't comfortable in these kinds of clothes but I'm a big fat Falin kinnie so I had to draw her in some of my outfits anyways ✌️😗

#the overalls is the only one of these outfits that she'd be kinda okay with 😂 but whatever #me @ falin: (points) go there. in the clothes #also her feathers ended up looking more like scales so >:T I think I'm gonna do some studies #my art #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #farlyn touden #farlyn thorden #man maybe I can stop tagging all her different name translations now that the anime is unifying everyone LMAO #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers

[egophiliac]

was gonna wait 'til I'd done all the poms, but it's been a day, so have Vil with a Salazzle 🍎

#art #twisted wonderland #poketwst #what are they plotting? you don't want to know. #sigh. once again the whole 'i don't wanna do more than two each' thing is coming back to bite me. #salazzle was the immediate obvious one and then there were like two or three others i was really torn between #(milotic is the other obvious-seeming choice but there were others i felt fit more in different ways and...yeah) #then i remembered i don't actually have to draw more than one pokemon so here we are #with the ✨QUEENS✨ #(me drawing salazzle's weird little feethands: heheheheh)

[aromanticduck]

Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)

If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!

[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]

#polls #birthdays #ageing #milestones #organic home grown content #for me (28) while there's an element of 'where the fuck did the time go?' #30 sounds all right. even kind of nice #you're still on the younger side of adulthood but you're no longer one of those 'barely an adult' new adults #although some people might feel that change at 25 #i feel like 40 is gonna be harder to deal with. that still feels like the age people's parents are #though it might look different once i'm in my 30s #100 tier #1000 tier #suicide mention

[acasternaut]

#four different people sent/tagged me in the post that the second one comes from. #the thing

[sapsuckers-and-stardust]

Watching Star Trek IV

Whale biologist: why do you hang around with that weird guy who calls you admiral and why are you so close?

Kirk: *hesitates*

Whale biologist, who lives in San Francisco in the 80s and is rapidly drawing many correct conclusions: that’s okay we don’t have to talk about it.

#she really said oh y’all’s are gay okay #Spock really was not giving off ‘straight Everyman’ in this film #the entire crew are dressed in different flavors of extremely homosexual #this movie is glorious #memory loss Spock is making me wanna cry tbh #it’s so gay (fun) instead of gay(tragic and insane) like the other three #star trek #star trek tos #spock #tos spock #james t kirk #k/s #spirk #tos spirk #star trek iv: the voyage home #the one with the whales